Funny story: Thatcher hospitalised, Queen sedated as 20/10/2010 Mayan curse strikes Illuminati

Thatcher hospitalised, Queen sedated as 20/10/2010 Mayan curse strikes Illuminati

London - (Aztec Calendar Woe): A delayed gratification karmic virus has detonated among Hellfire Club matrons. At the Royal Freak Hospital nonce's wing tonight Margaret Thatcher had her stomach pumped after OD-ing on 'rocks' from Chilean President...
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Funny story: Rose Bares It All

Rose Bares It All

Baseball's hits king told us in an interview Tuesday that it's taken him a long time to realize that Giamatti wanted him to "'fess up and take responsibility" for his actions after he got a lifetime ban for gambling. He freely admitted to gamblin...
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Funny story: CIA: China Stealing Coal and Oil From Under North America Via 7,000 Mile Long Tunnels

CIA: China Stealing Coal and Oil From Under North America Via 7,000 Mile Long Tunnels

Geneva, Switzerland - Swiss scientist monitoring new sophisticated seismograph equipment originally produced in America but illegally and cheaply reproduced in China for half price have been recording strange Earth vibrations for months. The adva...
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Funny story: HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything

HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything

News that HMS Ark Royal is to be taken out of service, immediately, has sparked a furious row between the WAG's of UK based footballers. "It's what no one else can have and I want it" the wife of a famous Chelsea player told NMC News today. Sev...
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Funny story: The Bill O'Reilly - Joy Behar Feud Continues

The Bill O'Reilly - Joy Behar Feud Continues

LOS ANGELES - Bill O'Reilly appeared on The View and most certainly stirred things up. So much so that View regulars Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar both stormed off the set when O'Reilly insisted on calling the people who brought down the Twin Towers...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Converts to Islam to Beat Alcohol and Cocaine Addictions

Lindsay Lohan Converts to Islam to Beat Alcohol and Cocaine Addictions

People think that fame and fortune are the road to eternal happiness; this is the American Dream fostered by American Idol. Yesterday Michael Douglas visited his sister Lindsay Lohan at the Betty Ford Center on family day. At a press conference after...
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Funny story: Darius Rucker courted by NASCAR, Republican National Committee

Darius Rucker courted by NASCAR, Republican National Committee

NASHVILLE, TN - Former Hootie and the Blowfish frontman and current Country music star Darius Rucker, who is African-American, revealed yesterday that he is being courted by two traditionally white organizations, NASCAR and the Republican National Co...
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Funny story: The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Old Trafford, Manchester: £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza who has not been loyal to his wife, understandably is not loyal to his football club and now wants a move from Manchester United and Chewing Gum Fergie. In what has been classic Chewing Gum Ferg...
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Funny story: Criticizing monarchy, Prince William says "I am not my father, I don't need a personal Willy-valet to help me pee. No one's going to call me Urine-ness"

Criticizing monarchy, Prince William says "I am not my father, I don't need a personal Willy-valet to help me pee. No one's going to call me Urine-ness"

Prince William, second-in-line to the British throne, would seriously like to modernize the Monarchy, challenging the "old-fashioned" way of doing things in the Royal Family. In a candid interview to be aired soon, the Man who will be King hints h...
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Funny story: UK scupper the Ark Royal and reincarnate Dads Army!

UK scupper the Ark Royal and reincarnate Dads Army!

Cuts, cuts and more cuts have forced the "Dynamic Duo" into making many radical budget decisions and one of the worst hit areas is the military. David Cameron announced the cuts in front of bewildered opposition MP's today and here are the main po...
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Funny story: Investigators Find Heather Locklear's Beauty, Missing Since 2002.

Investigators Find Heather Locklear's Beauty, Missing Since 2002.

Scientists at the Delta Burke Foundation, a research group dedicated to retrieving former beauty for its clients, has discovered why Heather Locklear went from being the most beautiful woman in the world, to looking like Hugh Laurie in a fright wig.
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Funny story: Old Fridge Found In Sahara Desert

Old Fridge Found In Sahara Desert

Explorers searching for an ancient Berbers burial site, in the heart of the Sahara desert, have told of their shock at finding an abandoned, used fridge. The Electrolux appliance was seemingly discarded about 5 years ago, according to the last PAT...
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Funny story: Bob Woodward the Most Overrated Journalist of Our Times

Bob Woodward the Most Overrated Journalist of Our Times

Washington DC.--Bob Woodward helped take down a president, if you believe what he writes. He also still lives off that fame, like an aging rocking star that can't come to grips with being a one hit wonder. Carl Bernstein, who also broke the Water...
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Funny story: "The Chosen One" only wants Rooney if he learns proper English, mate!

"The Chosen One" only wants Rooney if he learns proper English, mate!

Jose Mourinho "The Chosen One" has shown interest in unsettled, once upon a time Superstar, Wayne Rooney. His club Real Madrid will do anything what Mourinho requests and have no problems offering Wayne a job at Real Madrid. There are though se...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Signs New Contract

Wayne Rooney Signs New Contract

In one of the biggest about-turns in recent footballing memory, Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has today signed a new three-year contract agreement. Rooney, 24, went with his wife Coleen to his local branch of Currys and purcha...
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Funny story: Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

According to inside news leaked from Lou Macari's chippy, under fire United striker Wayne Rooney will be staying at Manchester United, but will be farmed out by the club on a twelve month loan deal until the dust settles. Most probably to Tranmere...
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Funny story: Joe Girardi hires psychic to channel Billy Martin

Joe Girardi hires psychic to channel Billy Martin

A self described "psychic concierge" name Madam Zorba, claims that Yankee skipper Joe Girardi has hired her to channel the spirit of Billy Martin. "Normally, I don't discuss the work I do for clients, but I'm a Red Sox fan, so in this case I'll m...
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Funny story: Radio 4! What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing! Say It Again...

Radio 4! What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing! Say It Again...

Listeners of Radio 4 have sensationally admitted today that they don't know why they listen to it. Bob Smedley, 52, has been a keen listener for over 12 years. "I often tune in of an afternoon, and listen to the mindless drone that falls forth fro...
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Funny story: Cher Lloyd 'Stroke Caused Me To Sing And Dance Like A Retard'

Cher Lloyd 'Stroke Caused Me To Sing And Dance Like A Retard'

Cher Lloyd, the weird faced odd bod of X-Factor, has admitted to reporters that she suffered a minor stroke two years ago, causing her to start dancing the way she does. "She broke down and admitted that a stroke had hit her hard, and caused her l...
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Funny story: Ron Johnson Admits He's a Bad Accountant

Ron Johnson Admits He's a Bad Accountant

Oshkosh, WI--Republican Senate nominee Ron Johnson admitted that he isn't a very good accountant. "I was the accountant when my company PACUR used government money to expand the business. I really didn't know how to put the government money on th...
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Funny story: Cameron Throws in the Towel, Guts Military, Cedes Falklands to Argentina, But Promises "Moral Support" Against Terrorism!

Cameron Throws in the Towel, Guts Military, Cedes Falklands to Argentina, But Promises "Moral Support" Against Terrorism!

David Cameron, looking fresh and rejuvenated after his extended maternity leave, shocked the UK and Western Allies today when he announced that Britain no longer had an interest in remaining a world class military power ending centuries of Proud Mili...
View 'Cameron Throws in the Towel, Guts Military, Cedes Falklands to Argentina, But Promises "Moral Support" Against Terrorism!'
Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Sarah Palin Says "Ya Know Gosh Darnit, It Looks Like My Little Bristol Just Ain't No Jennifer Grey Now Is She?"

Dancing With The Stars: Sarah Palin Says "Ya Know Gosh Darnit, It Looks Like My Little Bristol Just Ain't No Jennifer Grey Now Is She?"

HOLLYWOOD - Bristol Palin's Dancing With The Stars professional dance partner Mark Ballas has just about run out of tricks to try and help his partner Bristol Palin try and look a little bit better than last year's Kate "Graceless" Gosselin. This...
View 'Dancing With The Stars: Sarah Palin Says "Ya Know Gosh Darnit, It Looks Like My Little Bristol Just Ain't No Jennifer Grey Now Is She?"'
Funny story: Mary Bale Sent to Coventry

Mary Bale Sent to Coventry

The fate of sick woman, 45 year old Mary Bale, who shocked the nation and the world by placing a cat in a wheelie bin, has been settled with a £25 million pound fine. Miss Bale is assured by her former Bank employers that they will settle the fine...
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Funny story: Queen in shock as cops smash Palace's £113 million lotto winner kidnap plot

Queen in shock as cops smash Palace's £113 million lotto winner kidnap plot

London - (Stand & Deliver News): She's said to be gobsmacked after Royal Protection Racket cops foiled a Palace abduction attempt on the mystery Eurosquillions winner. Months of secret phishing expeditions using an adapted Stuxnet virus had se...
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Funny story: Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Angry Rangers supremo Martin Bain last night vowed to fight the proposed Government spending cuts as he prepared to go to war with the SFA. The raging chief executive is angry that the Ark Royal is to be scrapped as he planned to launch strategic...
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Funny story: Roo and Fergie in Love

Roo and Fergie in Love

Wayne Rooney and Sarah Ferguson have been captured together on the floor of a Manchester nightclub scoring. Fergie shouted in glee as the striker hit home. Wayne told your reporter, tipped off about this encounter, that he felt closer to the Queen...
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Funny story: Wayne: I want Chelsea.

Wayne: I want Chelsea.

Rooney officially has come out and said that he wants to quit Manchester United. The overpaid and over-laid Manchester United forward, and former Blueboy, told his boss that he wants to go to "Chelsea". But not to the club. Yes, it's 24 year...
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Funny story: Former Brothel King with HUD

Former Brothel King with HUD

An undisclosed source in Washington revealed yesterday that recent unemployment figures and home sales decline had caused HUD to come up with some drastic measures. He indicated that HUD had contacted Nevada brothel owner, Joe Conforte, who is presen...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof: closer to the truth.

Born to Spoof: closer to the truth.

Developments in the Born to Spoof chronicles, published exclusively on The Spoof, may be closer to the truth then we actually think. Australian toads have evolved into super-invaders, according to the BBC. As the super-toads, who are said to be th...
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Funny story: Osama bin Laden found in local man's shed

Osama bin Laden found in local man's shed

There was pandemonium yesterday when the world's most wanted terrorist was discovered in the garden shed of local man Kevin Smally. Mr Smally, a junior quality control inspector at the local biscuit factory, made the discovery when he entered his...
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Funny story: Ran Paul: "What Happens in College, Should Stay in College!"

Ran Paul: "What Happens in College, Should Stay in College!"

Ran Paul, Tea Party candidate for the US Senate, broke his silence today on the accusations of his conduct while in college. "Yes, I did some things while in college that were childlike. I admit that. But, when I was a child, I spoke as a child a...
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Funny story: Cat Bin Woman Fined - "Wrong Type of Litter" say Council

Cat Bin Woman Fined - "Wrong Type of Litter" say Council

A woman from the West Midlands, who became a national figure of hate for putting a cat in a bin, has been fined £250 by her local council. Coventry City Council say they took action when video footage taken by a neighbour showed Mary Bale putting...
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Funny story: Royal Navy Cuts: Nelson Spinning In His Grave

Royal Navy Cuts: Nelson Spinning In His Grave

Latest defence cuts, which will see the end of Roal Navy flagship HMS Ark Royal, have been greeted with horror by a top naval expert. While the cuts will allow two new aircraft carriers to be built, neither will have any jet aircraft taking off fr...
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Funny story: Roy of the Poolers, the Bastian of the Kop!!

Roy of the Poolers, the Bastian of the Kop!!

The KOP, This was ANFIELD, Liverpool: Despite losing to their local rivals Everton and being second to bottom of the Premier League, Roy of the Poolers refuses to panic, as noted in his recent statement; "I don't think it is a crisis. I thought t...
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Funny story: Sharon Stone Waxes Poetic on Her Mons Venerio & Her Affair With CJ Bolivar!

Sharon Stone Waxes Poetic on Her Mons Venerio & Her Affair With CJ Bolivar!

Sharon Stone at 52 looks better than most wags and enhanced starlets half her age, a fact she attributes to a strong affinity for sex, a healthy diet, and a fetish against all body hair since her Mons was exposed in the erotic film "Basic Instinct...
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Funny story: God has last laugh in dispute with Professor Stephen Hawking

God has last laugh in dispute with Professor Stephen Hawking

It was the book launch from Hell. For the first time Professor Stephen Hawking Britain's most wheelchair bound Scientist, decided to personally attend a news conference to celebrate the release of his controversial new publication. In his book Haw...
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Funny story: CSI, Stargate & Fringe Viewers Plea: Give Our Heads A Break!

CSI, Stargate & Fringe Viewers Plea: Give Our Heads A Break!

Viewers of Tuesday evening TV crime and sci-fi series are pleading for clearer plotting to end their TV confusion. Fringe's third season's third episode airs tonight with FBI agent Olivia still marooned in the alternative universe while her opposi...
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Funny story: Putin Calls Hillary a "Dike", Hillary Pissed

Putin Calls Hillary a "Dike", Hillary Pissed

Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin called Hillary Clinton a "dike" today. When asked why he called Hillary a "dike" and not a "dyke" Putin responded: "Hillary looks like she is just holding back water. Hell, just look at that scrunchy wrink...
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Funny story: Future not bright for playground bullies

Future not bright for playground bullies

School children who bully may face higher risks of anxiety, depression, sexual identity problems and even infertility later in life, a new study finds. The study, which followed more than 10,000 pupils in British schools, found that boys and girls...
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Funny story: Facebook to introduce "Virtual Reality"

Facebook to introduce "Virtual Reality"

Following a successful deal with Skype, Facebook are now aiming to move into the next dimension: Virtual Reality. Users can now experience further time-wasting in a new dimension. Converse with your friends in a virtual chatroom: and watch as peop...
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Funny story: Glastonbury cancelled?

Glastonbury cancelled?

There will be no Glastonbury for 2012, it has been announced, and not just the festival, the whole area will be shut, as it is expected that all the hippies and music loving dope smokers will be heading to London to take part in the new sporting even...
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Funny story: Interview with the Mayor Of Jerusalem

Interview with the Mayor Of Jerusalem

Ken: Mr. Mayor, I understand you have quite a project going on here. Barkat: That's right. We are creating a bible-themed garden, which will be a tourist park, adjacent to the City of David. This is the most important area in the world, and in the valley right there below us is where King's Garden actually was. Ken: What about the 22 Arab homes that are sitting there now? Barkat: Th...
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Funny story: Yakubu enjoys mountain trek

Yakubu enjoys mountain trek

He's getting back to full fitness ladies and gentlemen. At Liverpool he practically jogged for two minutes straight. But now, Yakubu proudly boasted how he is "fitter than ever". In a team building exercise during mid-week, Davey Moyes invited his...
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Funny story: One a Blue, Always a [insert team colour here]. Rooney's on the Run

One a Blue, Always a [insert team colour here]. Rooney's on the Run

It seems his tenure at Old Trafford is finally coming to an end. Following allegations that he had chatted to another woman via Facebook the other night, Sir Alex Ferguson commented how "he'd had his last chance. He's still up to his old ways and...
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Funny story: Start Of Winter? Rubbish - We're Just Bored, Swans Insist

Start Of Winter? Rubbish - We're Just Bored, Swans Insist

Fears that the early arrival of eight Siberian Swans in Gloucestershire heralds the start of an arctic winter were rubbished today. The migrating birds fly 2,500 miles from Russia every year and according to folklore, their early arrival in the UK...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney is going nowhere, says Colleen

Wayne Rooney is going nowhere, says Colleen

Media speculation has been mounting over the departure of Wayne Rooney from Manchester United after a supposed bust-up between him and Alex Ferguson. However, according to his wife, Colleen Rooney, Rooney will be staying in Manchester. There has b...
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Funny story: Meek may not inherit the Earth after all

Meek may not inherit the Earth after all

Devout Christian Tony Blair has sensationally admitted that the meek may not inherit the earth after all. Speaking at a press conference about the 'Tony Blair Faith Foundation' in New York the ex Prime Minister said: "I'm afraid to say that it...
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Funny story: Manchester United F.C. ... What a Shambles

Manchester United F.C. ... What a Shambles

Real Madrid have today confirmed a deal to bring Manchester United's bright young Mexican striker Hernandez to the Bernabeu in July 2012 if, as expected, he becomes a world class striker. Little Pea President Florentino Perez met last week wi...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Sparks Double-Dip Recession Fears

Justin Bieber Sparks Double-Dip Recession Fears

Economists looked on in horror yesterday as stock markets plunged after diminutive pop sensation Justin Bieber admitted: "I won't be a pop star forever." Experts fear that his admission will create such havoc in the markets that the world's econom...
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Funny story: Bleakley & Chiles: It's All Gone Pear-Shaped

Bleakley & Chiles: It's All Gone Pear-Shaped

ITV production chiefs are tearing their hair out wondering what on earth went wrong with their plans to revitalise their morning news magazine show. Viewing figures for Daybreak make depressing reading for the independent network - just 600,000 vi...
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Funny story: Republicans Say Americans Want the Rich to Succeed

Republicans Say Americans Want the Rich to Succeed

Watch any Republican political ad on television and you'll hear one of two messages. Either the deficit needs to be reduced and they are the ones to do it, or government is too big and they are the ones who will pare it back. In either case, what you...
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Funny story: Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann

Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann

"Sorry, Michele, I'm busy that night," was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann's invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed. "Sure, I got definite y...
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Funny story: Westboro Baptist Church Gets Visit

Westboro Baptist Church Gets Visit

Today, Jesus arrived at Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas City. The weather outside is hot and humid. The look on Jesus' face is one of disappointment. He is in town to confront Fred Phelps for misrepresenting God. "It is rare for me to make special trips like this, but I felt it was time for me to stop this bigot from causing more harm in my name," Jesus said. "I can't believe how this man se...
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Funny story: Obama to appear in Mythbusters Special

Obama to appear in Mythbusters Special

US President Barack Obama has confirmed he is to appear in a special Presidential version of Mythbusters. In the "Hail to the Chief" episode, Obama will test several Presidential scenarios from the Movies. The main myth will involve the movie "...
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Funny story: Mexican Bud Will Cost $350 an Ounce After Authorities Seize 105 tons

Mexican Bud Will Cost $350 an Ounce After Authorities Seize 105 tons

A--hole policia in the Mexican border city of Tijuana, who should be shooting illegals launching themselves over the border, or arresting the 245,409 tranny hookers who roam the streets -- not that they can't, you know, suck-- have instead seized 105...
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Funny story: Starbucks Decides Its Too Successful, Launches Plan That Will Destroy Them.

Starbucks Decides Its Too Successful, Launches Plan That Will Destroy Them.

After spending each day of their lives with a stopwatch stuck up their ass by management, Starbucks has ordered its barristas to slow down. Can a company as big as Starbucks F--k up this bad? In 1985, The Coca-Cola Company replaced the original fo...
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Funny story: Jorge Posada: I just didn't realize man

Jorge Posada: I just didn't realize man

Jorge Posada, catcher for the New York Yankees, admitted in a recent interview that he automatically reaches and scratches his crotch without even realizing it. "I have been a catcher all of my career, and all of that getting up and down, behind the...
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Funny story: Katie Waissel Wants To Snog Cheryl Cole And Cher Lloyd Say Insiders

Katie Waissel Wants To Snog Cheryl Cole And Cher Lloyd Say Insiders

X-Factor insiders last night revealed exclusively to Skoob Entertainment News that Katie Waissel is so desperate to stay in the competition that she really fancied snogging Cher Lloyd and Cheryl Cole, if only for the added publicity. Katie, the su...
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Funny story: Roger Federer and Swiss Demand Cheese Without Holes!

Roger Federer and Swiss Demand Cheese Without Holes!

Switzerland - Thousands of people crowded the streets protesting to the Federal Council about Swiss Cheese. The protests are due to the rather sudden realization by Swiss citizens that Swiss cheese is...full of holes. "I guess I've always sort of...
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Funny story: Merkel invites American rock group to get right with immigrants

Merkel invites American rock group to get right with immigrants

In less than a week after German Chancellor Angela Merkel admitted that multiculturalism had totally failed in Germany, her spokesman Steffen Seibert said she still sees a chance for Germans and mostly Turkish immigrants to integrate. "Yes, integrati...
View 'Merkel invites American rock group to get right with immigrants'
Funny story: Senator Harry Reid Scores with a Moose Knuckle over Sharron Angle in Their Final Debate

Senator Harry Reid Scores with a Moose Knuckle over Sharron Angle in Their Final Debate

Reno, NV - The second debate between, 70-year-old Senate majority leader Harry Reid and 61-year-old Sharron Angle was better than watching the WWE. Both candidates challenged each other with the same intensity as their last meeting. Reid tagged te...
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Funny story: Rooney To Join Ronaldo At Real?

Rooney To Join Ronaldo At Real?

Despite continued denials from Manchester United officials to the contrary, the smart money down Sir Matt Busby Way seems to be on baldy Scouse striker Wayne Rooney departing to Real Madrid in the January transfer window. Insiders say that Sir Ale...
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