Funny story: Madonna Breaks Photoshop: "Trying To Make Her Not Look Like Iggy Pop In A Wig Was Too Much."

Madonna Breaks Photoshop: "Trying To Make Her Not Look Like Iggy Pop In A Wig Was Too Much."

Adobe executives are threatening strong legal action, after 60-something has-been Madonna was found to be the cause behind every licensed copy of Adobe's Photoshop, the Auto-tune of retouching software. And the proof is in the photos. Some hid...
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Funny story: Wanna See Mike Tyson In Leather Lederhosen?

Wanna See Mike Tyson In Leather Lederhosen?

Wanna See Mike Tyson In Leather Lederhosen? Admittedly, you might not wake from a deep sleep with that particular image in the forefront of your mind. But, once you actually see it, it'll haunt your dreams. Former Whose Line Is It Anyway alum Wayne Brady has posted his latest "I'm still relevant" video on Funny or Die. And, while the premise is tepidly-funny, like most of Wayne Brady's humor...
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Funny story: Anne Widdicome's G-String causes stir on Strictly

Anne Widdicome's G-String causes stir on Strictly

A row has broken out after Anne Widdicome appeared on Strictly Come Dancing wearing just a G-string and flimsy lacy bikini top doing the Rumba. As she was swung around the dance floor by Anton, kicking her legs higher than her shoulders and flingi...
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Funny story: Concerned about global climate change Al-Qaeda's bin Laden channels his inner Al-Gore

Concerned about global climate change Al-Qaeda's bin Laden channels his inner Al-Gore

It's tough hiding in a cave for 10 years even though one's Army-hosts have spared no effort in making life livable. Osama bin Laden is finding this out the hard way. There's only so much praying and plotting a guy can do. Comes the time when he fee...
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Funny story: Burglar Bunch Arrested For Stealing Jennifer Love-Hewitt's Swarovski Crystal Vajazzle.

Burglar Bunch Arrested For Stealing Jennifer Love-Hewitt's Swarovski Crystal Vajazzle.

Jennifer Love Hewitt, who, sources say, actually has a face, not that anyone's ever looked above her chest, was a particularly painful brush with the Los Angeles Burglar Bunch, after she told George Lopez that her Swarovski Crystal Vajazzle was stole...
View 'Burglar Bunch Arrested For Stealing Jennifer Love-Hewitt's Swarovski Crystal Vajazzle.'
Funny story: Born to Spoof: Chapter 3. At the Bar of Life

Born to Spoof: Chapter 3. At the Bar of Life

The place smelled suspiciously of chocolate raisins, which had been discarded in a perfect line along the base of the bar. I noticed the bartender who give a courteour grimace. "New guy huh? What can I get you?" he said, offering out a weary hand. "The name's Skoob. I'm the bartender guy around here. I can open a tab, but I guess you don't got no money." I checked my pockets to discover my w...
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Funny story: Chapter Two: The Inner Sanctum

Chapter Two: The Inner Sanctum

There was a new guy on the block. That was our first impression. We'd been there for weeks now: many of us for months. Circles upon circles of desks, each congregating towards an inner ring. As usual, the Big Four were closest to the largest desk in the room. Then there was the rest of us. The new guy took a desk opposite me, and smiled. "How do. I'm Mr. Le Fete. I take it you're a writer...
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Funny story: BMA warn NHS in Danger

BMA warn NHS in Danger

Doctors are warning that the Government is placing the NHS in danger by putting too much strain on GP's. 'We can't do all this work' advised the BMA chiefs 'we weren't trained do these bureaucratic tasks you are requiring us to do.' Suspicions...
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Funny story: HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs taxing the wealthy out of the United Kingdom!

HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs taxing the wealthy out of the United Kingdom!

HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs, England: The UK Taxpayer is seriously not getting any value for money from his Tax payments. So why not shop elsewhere? For instance, if my shop is losing money, should I increase my prices (for the same or worse product), or should I be having a sale and encouraging more business and sales to get myself out of the mess? So it goes for...
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Funny story: Heidi Klum goes Commando

Heidi Klum goes Commando

After 13 years as a Victoria Secret underwear model, Heidi Klum has decided to call it a day. "I just don't see the point of wearing underwear. Lingerie is just covered up by conventional clothes, when I take those clothes off, I just want to be n...
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Funny story: Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Kingsthorpe, Northampton - (Deja Vu Mess): It's a spooky flashback to last July's Northumbria siege which saw cops take out pesky Geordie shooter Raoul Moat with a taser. And this afternoon Gazza - the man who very nearly prevented Moat's topping...
View 'Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm''
Funny story: Preacher Claims Bible Written About Other Earth-Like Planet

Preacher Claims Bible Written About Other Earth-Like Planet

A retired Methodist Minister claims that the Bible which supposedly depicts the history of our planet since the time God created it and everything in it was really written about another planet. He claims that astronomers have recently discovered a pl...
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Funny story: A tale of intruige from the animal world

A tale of intruige from the animal world

Milli the nine banded mongoose was most unhappy when he lost his position of power in the gallant band after a resounding defeat by a stronger rival faction. He'd spent many years sucking up to the great leader and his predecessor before finding out that the great leader had many flaws in his character and was totally unfit to lead the gallant band. After being driven out of the prime territor...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof: Chapter 2

Born to Spoof: Chapter 2

Jumping from Chapter 1, #3 disappeared between the beaded curtain, leading into...I know not what. Taking a deep breath, I started to follow, brazenly brushing aside the cheap plastic beads when a grizzled hand grabbed me round the throat, and pushed me up against the wall. As the pressure released, only slightly mind you, I was able to refocus and found myself looking into the demented ey...
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Funny story: Prescott's M4 bus lane, known as "Prescott's folly", to be scrapped!

Prescott's M4 bus lane, known as "Prescott's folly", to be scrapped!

Prescott's M4 bus lane, London: In 1999 the lane attracted a measure of notoriety when the Tony Blair's motorcade was spotted using it as the rest of the traffic made rather slower progress in the other two lanes. It led to accusations that "Pre...
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Funny story: Now gorilla warfare monkey patrols working for peanuts to provide security at Delhi Games

Now gorilla warfare monkey patrols working for peanuts to provide security at Delhi Games

After all the brouhaha and the hullabaloo, the sniping and complaining it finally looks like the Delhi Commonwealth Games are a go. All the whining Aussies, Brits, Kiwis and other lesser equals have settled into their digs with no more excrement, do...
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Funny story: US admit that infecting their enemies with sexual diseases didn't work!

US admit that infecting their enemies with sexual diseases didn't work!

The US have fumbled most of the conflicts they have entered, one only has to look at the long list of blunders over the last 70 odd years to realise that US Implerialism is not all what it's cracked up to be Failures in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq twice,...
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Funny story: Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews!

Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews!

New Brighton, PA (BNSE): State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due to severe bud...
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Funny story: BP executive gets his life back

BP executive gets his life back

Following the Deepwater Oil spill a British Petroleum executive made worldwide headlines when he commented that he just wanted to get his life back We tracked him down to see how he is getting on "I had a terrible time in the colonies, all tho...
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Funny story: Man Makes Woman A Sandwich - World Grates To Halt!

Man Makes Woman A Sandwich - World Grates To Halt!

The clocks have stopped. The trains aren't running. Facebook has crashed (again). Channel 4 has paused its endless repeats of Friends. A deep, overwhelming silence has overtaken the world. The cause? Mr Wyn E. B. Braster of North Wales has m...
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Funny story: If McDonald's Gets Government Health Insurance Exemption, Who's Next?

If McDonald's Gets Government Health Insurance Exemption, Who's Next?

Rules are made to be broken and it appears that may be happening in the case of the fast food giant McDonald's when it comes to complying with the new rules handed down under the Health Care Reform Bill. We knew it would only be a matter of time befo...
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Funny story: 127 year old woman lives longer with 'Calgon'

127 year old woman lives longer with 'Calgon'

Born in 1883 a Maggie May from Glasgow talks about how she has managed to stay alive for so long. "I ran out of salt one day when I was eating my fish and chips, so I sprinkled some 'Calgon' over my dinner" "It tasted lovely so I stopped using...
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Funny story: Nigella Proposing One Handed Dishes

Nigella Proposing One Handed Dishes

Super sexed Nigella Lawson is proposing a series of dishes you can cook with one hand as you watch her on your TV screen for her cookery show. One dish is for slimey sausages and two new potatoes, another is for courgettes smothered in melting but...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Secretly on Tap to Advise New Chief of Staff

Michael Moore Secretly on Tap to Advise New Chief of Staff

While it is true that Peter Rouse has taken over for Rahm Emanuel as White House Chief of Staff, there are rumors floating about the White House that it is Michael Moore and not Rouse who is now running the show for our President. Moore has been t...
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Funny story: Ryder Cup delayed by Rain. Welsh PM: "Ha!"

Ryder Cup delayed by Rain. Welsh PM: "Ha!"

The Ryder Cup has ground to a halt this morning, as the competition was greeted by traditional Welsh weather. The one time people wanted the infamous Welsh Weather to smile, the Heavens opened as Day One of the Ryder Cup ended up being postponed.
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Funny story: Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to take you back to a time when massive 35ft penguins roamed the Earth. A time when civilisation wasn't as civilised as it is today (try saying that with a straight face). A timezone John Williams hasn't composed a piec...
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Funny story: MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'

MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'

London - (Memory Stick Insect News): A suspected MI6/KGB double agent has been designated the codename Myrtus following the discovery of the Latin word for myrtle in the Stuxnet malware encryption protocols. The plant, a fragrant shrub indigenous...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Drug Dealer Caught Filing for Government Assistance

Lindsay Lohan Drug Dealer Caught Filing for Government Assistance

The fallout from Lindsay Lohan's relapse, recapture and rehab, a new twist on the three R's, has put quite a few people out of work. None more so than her own private Idaho drug dealer, who was so busy just supplying Li-Lo and her entourage with qual...
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Funny story: Treatment For PMS?

Treatment For PMS?

Neuroscientists reckons they may have found a treatment for premenstrual tension (PMS). The Birmingham boffins reckon very small doses of prozac can counteract the mood swings, tireness, iritability, headaches, head and joint pains that many women...
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Funny story: Global Leaders and Politicians argue about the positioning of the deck chairs and who should be sitting where!

Global Leaders and Politicians argue about the positioning of the deck chairs and who should be sitting where!

United Nations, Manhattan, New York, USA: Whilst, Global Leaders and Politicians argue about which position the deck chairs should be arranged and who should be sitting where! Some people ask "What Iceberg? It makes no difference people of the...
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Funny story: Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Scientists in Peru have uncovered a fossil of a giant penguin. The monstrous bird was the size of a modern day emu, but quite obviously a penguin from the body shape, wing design and perfectly preserved bow-tie. "It is a remarkable specimen," s...
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Funny story: Ryder Cup Kicks off In Wales But Most Swinging Takes Place off the Course!

Ryder Cup Kicks off In Wales But Most Swinging Takes Place off the Course!

Traditional Wale Watchers were not surprised today to see the kickoff of the International Ryder Cup Golf matches take place in the rain! The course was dotted with thousands of colorful BLACK brollies borne by UK fans who flocked to Newport, Wal...
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Funny story: 'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

The fossil of a giant and deadly penguin that roamed the earth 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru. Scientists, writing in Science journal, say that the features of the bird show that it evolved from early penguins, with brown and gra...
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Funny story: Cottingley fairies in 'comeback' bid

Cottingley fairies in 'comeback' bid

It's been flipping years since anyone has seen them, which was way back when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was their PR man, after having had them brought to his attention by a couple of Bradford lasses in 1917. After a brief bout of stardom in the brigh...
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Funny story: Leaking Cabinet

Leaking Cabinet

A leaked personal letter from the Home Office Minister Theresa May to David Cameron has been made public by the 'Daily Telegraph'. In the letter the Minister advises the Prime Minister that the cuts being envisaged in the forthcoming spending revi...
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Funny story: Humble Pie

Humble Pie

Public, it's a somber day. A recent poll showed that near on forty percent of America's youth support socialism over capitalism. I had intended upon being sickened in my post today, but an overwhelming sorrow o'ertakes my oration, obviously brought out by our less than omnipotent offsprings' impotent, incredulous intake of external propaganda. Moreover, more malicious than making maddening poll...
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Funny story: Red, White And Blue School Of Self Defense - Grand Opening

Red, White And Blue School Of Self Defense - Grand Opening

A rally was held yesterday in Washington, D.C. to celebrate the grand opening of the Red, White And Blue School Of Self Defense. Sarah Palin was on hand to introduce the speaker, John 'Bambi-killer' Doe. Here is the full text of Mr. Doe's speech: Thanks for that wonderful introduction, Sarah. Listen. We all know that any and all gun-control laws are an unwarranted infringement on the rig...
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Funny story: Take my wife, PLEASE!

Take my wife, PLEASE!

A stand-up comedian is finally allowed to joke about his ex-wife during his comedy routine after winning a bitter legal dispute in which she tried to censor him. After winning his legal battle he is alleged to have said," It's a funny old game, t...
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Funny story: Dastardly FOX News Sends Out "Frankenfans" To Rub Out Liberals

Dastardly FOX News Sends Out "Frankenfans" To Rub Out Liberals

A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents. A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals that...
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Funny story: The End of the World

The End of the World

Scientists working in the famous Einstein Laboratory in New York have found that the end of the world is in sight. 'We have been studying various signs of world deterioration and find convincing evidence that - in the words of the poet - the end i...
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Funny story: Local couple repeat old conversation

Local couple repeat old conversation

In local news, a young couple are said to have had the same conversation more than once and quite likely about the same subject as before. According to one source, it all started when the man did something that irked his female counterpart, as he...
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Funny story: The Future of Climate Shame

The Future of Climate Shame

Step into the future with me now. It is October 21st 2025. Flying cars mostly Deloren's and Porsche's fill the sky, hyper-speed internet connected via your cyborg style cerebral cortex proliferates widely and robots control the public service and are oddly just as inefficient and socialist as humans were. Arnold Schwarzenegger is President of the United States after defeating President Sarah Pa...
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Funny story: Whoops You are not Miss Universe after all!

Whoops You are not Miss Universe after all!

The Television Audience of millions throughout the world for the Miss Universe Contest was coming to its final stage and only two hopefuls remained. Who would be crowned Miss Universe? The Judges assessed relative bums and tits. Considsered the...
View 'Whoops You are not Miss Universe after all!'
Funny story: Scientists Prove We Want To Clean Up After Bad Deeds

Scientists Prove We Want To Clean Up After Bad Deeds

Psycho boffins say that when mum told you to wash your mouth out with soap, she was right. Apparently when we commit a bad deed, we feel a desire to clean up. Scientists at Michigan University have published a study that proves we tend to reach...
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Funny story: Ancient giant penguin unearthed

Ancient giant penguin unearthed

The fossil of a giant penguin from 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru. Scientists say the find shows that key features were present quite early on in penguin evolution although the old version would have been twice the size of what w...
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Funny story: Obama Urged To Bring Back West Wing Stars

Obama Urged To Bring Back West Wing Stars

A powerful US lobby group is urging President Barack Obama to replace his rapidly shrinking group of aides with members of the popular Jed Bartlett administration. They say chief of staff Rahm Emanuel should be replaced by press secretary Claudia...
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Funny story: Astonishing Labour Claims

Astonishing Labour Claims

A startled Press Conference, hastily arranged to clash with publicity for the Conservative Party Conference, called by Ed Miliband - the new Labour leader - has astonished the whole establishment. After many years in the wilderness the Labour part...
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Funny story: Nigella Lawson's New Series To Boost Bra Sales

Nigella Lawson's New Series To Boost Bra Sales

Bra sales at big girls' underwear stores like Bravissimo are set to rocket as top totty TV cook Nigella Lawson began a new TV series last night. Ms Lawson's new series, Nigella Kitchen, launched a 13-week run with an episode featuring such delight...
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Funny story: White House Exits Jammed with Departing Officials; Visitors Trampled

White House Exits Jammed with Departing Officials; Visitors Trampled

A sad story from Wash., D. C. this morning. Many officials and aides were so desperate to jump ship and remove themselves from the floundering Obama administration that they ran to the exits at the White House all at once and created a dangerous sit...
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Funny story: Born To Spoof: Chapter 1: I Am Tied Up In the Writer's Lounge Terrarium and Forced to Watch Mating Gerbils

Born To Spoof: Chapter 1: I Am Tied Up In the Writer's Lounge Terrarium and Forced to Watch Mating Gerbils

London's underbelly - The smell of rotting bannanas was overwhelming as I came off of the subway in lower Dorchestorshire of Loxley. The fog was relentless as I emerged into the night at 2am. Then I saw her, a red head with the most incredible gams I'd ever seen. She looked me over as if I was a piece of meat, and not a particularly good piece, but maybe I'd do. "What cat dragged you down...
View 'Born To Spoof: Chapter 1: I Am Tied Up In the Writer's Lounge Terrarium and Forced to Watch Mating Gerbils'
Funny story: Sports Event Consultants make 'shit' of Ryder Cup facilities

Sports Event Consultants make 'shit' of Ryder Cup facilities

The Ryder Cup is facing a major set back after players facilities in Celtic Manor were left in pools of stagnant water and faeces. The Ryder Cup committee have a terrible mess on their hands. "We were all set to go here in Wales until we decide...
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Funny story: Improved Relations Between USA and North Korea Possible

Improved Relations Between USA and North Korea Possible

Washington DC: North Korea's Kim Jong Il is expected to name his 28 year old son Kim Jong Un the country's next "Dear Leader." Kim Jong Il's 64 year old sister General Kyong Hui would supervise any transfer of power, if her brother dies prior to the...
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Funny story: Elmo Stabs Music Store Customer After He Played 'Stairway To Heaven' Eleven Times In A Row on a Cheap Acoustic Guitar.

Elmo Stabs Music Store Customer After He Played 'Stairway To Heaven' Eleven Times In A Row on a Cheap Acoustic Guitar.

Don't f--k with Elmo. He's not just the bisexual, drug abusing Communist-sympathizing Neo-Nazi feared and reviled by children and their grown parents who watch "Sesame Street" instead of good kids' programming -- like anything on Nick, Jr. except th...
View 'Elmo Stabs Music Store Customer After He Played 'Stairway To Heaven' Eleven Times In A Row on a Cheap Acoustic Guitar.'
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