Funny story: English Care Worker begins sentence

English Care Worker begins sentence

Ex Care Worker Bonita Crabtree begins her sentence today. Apparently Bonita Crabtree managed to get through the English school system, get her Social Sciences degree AND land a job in Social Work as a Carer without EVER beginning a sentence with a...
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Funny story: Carnival Workers Fight Mandatory Shower Rule

Carnival Workers Fight Mandatory Shower Rule

While the average American male worker takes a daily shower or bath to refresh himself and also rid himself of pesty parasites, dangling dingle berries and pungent odors that might effect his love life deleteriously, carnival workers are furious that...
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Funny story: OMG! There's a mole in the White House - And it's pregnant!

OMG! There's a mole in the White House - And it's pregnant!

Washington AC/DC - (Of Mice and Men): Its bulging furry abdomen said it all: Obama's mole is about to whelp in a secret Rose Garden hideyhole. Nicknamed Palin by the White House press corpse the cute 'n' cuddly critter scampered by the President...
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Funny story: Jose Mourinho's Real of Fortune

Jose Mourinho's Real of Fortune

Jose Mourinho will lead out his Inter Milan side against Bayern Munich on Saturday to compete for the biggest prize in football. A coaching job at Real Madrid. First of all he needs his Italian side to defeat the German side in the final of tha...
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Funny story: Clark Blowton Pedlephile

Clark Blowton Pedlephile

Internet entrepreneur Clark Blowton is touting the benefits of cycling ever since purchasing a new bicycle earlier this year. "It' a wonderful bike it is, two wheels, a seat, handle bars, the works." "What more could you ask for?" Blowton sa...
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Funny story: Subo fanatics "The Red Scarf Brigade's" Olympic Mascot design, shortlisted

Subo fanatics "The Red Scarf Brigade's" Olympic Mascot design, shortlisted

The Olympic Committee have announced a shortlist of contenders for designers of the Olympic Mascot for 2012 and The Red Scarf Brigade's design is on that shortlist. Spokesperson, one of the few 'male members' Canuck William, said that they had wor...
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Funny story: Numbers of prison inmates in the UK hit record high, proof that many "men prefer men"

Numbers of prison inmates in the UK hit record high, proof that many "men prefer men"

UK prisons have a record waiting list of men wishing to enter prison because they're either sick of not getting their "leg over" with women or enjoy a bit of cheap Gay sex for a change. Those being rejected will turn to anything for a short stay i...
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Funny story: The Sorceror, Van Gall meets his Apprentice, Mourinho to define who really is the "special one"!

The Sorceror, Van Gall meets his Apprentice, Mourinho to define who really is the "special one"!

A pivotal clash of the 2 best footy coaches on the planet (sorry Sir Alex you failed to do your homework) promises to be an intriguing clash of the "Sorcerer" and his one time "Apprentice". Louis van Gaal has worked his magic in every club he has...
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Funny story: Gamers Causing a Public Nuisance for Society

Gamers Causing a Public Nuisance for Society

Thousands of gamers are causing a public nuisance for the City of Los Angeles in the skid row area. The gamers are harassing customers of the local business when they panhandle outside of stores. City sanitation workers complain that they are tired...
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Funny story: Lily Allen Not A Patch On Kate Bush Says 1970s Music Buff

Lily Allen Not A Patch On Kate Bush Says 1970s Music Buff

Lily Allen may have won 3 Novello awards for her songwriting and her interpretation of 'The Fear' but according to 1970s music buff Fluff Babcock she'll never be as good as 70s weirdness icon Kate Bush who stunned a nation with her squeaky voiced ren...
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Funny story: Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Hot off his victory in the Kentucky republican primary Libertarian canididate Rand Paul, son of Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, strove today to position himself as a man of the people. "I strive today to position myself as a man of the people," he s...
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Funny story: Obama Hires Nigerian Barrister to Enforce New Wall Street Reforms

Obama Hires Nigerian Barrister to Enforce New Wall Street Reforms

President Obama, in a move to gain public trust after a series of disastrous missteps over his symbiotic relationship with Wall Street, has hired a Nigerian Barrister to enforce newly proposed Wall Street regulations. "I nominate Dr. Akeem Biobaku...
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Funny story: Jersey Royals Getting Bigger Through Climate Change

Jersey Royals Getting Bigger Through Climate Change

From Spud Chipps, science correspondent - Britain's favourite summertime spud, the majestic Jersey Royal has been changing in recent years, according to potato afficionados, and it looks pretty much like climate change is the culprit. A new potato...
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Funny story: Arrest Warrant against Lindsay Lohan and Lauren Shreve Teilo

Arrest Warrant against Lindsay Lohan and Lauren Shreve Teilo

An assistant manager of a strip club, Lauren Shreve Teilo, and Lindsay Lohan had an arrest warrant placed on them by a judge for sending topless photos of themselves to Jerome Jackson of Texas, police say. They are also sought for taking a photograph...
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Funny story: Judge Throws Book at Lindsay Lohan

Judge Throws Book at Lindsay Lohan

Ex-Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan is pledging to quit drinking in order to comply with the new requirements of her failure to show up in a Beverly Hills, Calif. court on alcohol-related charges. The judge in the case says the problem-plagued be...
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Funny story: Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream

Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream

Atlanta, GA - When a new product comes on the market, it doesn't take long for the younger crowd to scope it out and try to scoop it up, especially when that new product contains alcohol. Such is the case with a new brand of whipped cream dubbed Whip...
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Funny story: The Real Story Of Lady Gaga

The Real Story Of Lady Gaga

Rumors that Lady Gaga is a she or a he and exactly where he/she came from is different with every article you read. However, we have the story from someone he (at the time) was dating several years back when they were both in their mid-teens. "I'l...
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Funny story: "Only Good Injuns Are Dead Injuns" States US Senate Candidate

"Only Good Injuns Are Dead Injuns" States US Senate Candidate

Rand Paul, candidate for the US Senate in Kentucky, has reportedly stated in a closed meeting of his supporters that "The only good Injun is a dead Injun." Of the one hundred constituents at the meeting, many were wearing coonskin caps and carrying l...
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Funny story: Gang War Brewing Between Tea Party Movement and the GOP

Gang War Brewing Between Tea Party Movement and the GOP

Hicksville, USA - "You put him out there, now you reel him in, and fast," said Senator John Bohner (R-Ohio), who surprised everyone with his sudden outrage directed at this young, Strom Thurmond-esque uber conservative known as Rand Paul, "or I'll ma...
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Funny story: Clinton, Bush Both Listened To Dick During Presidency

Clinton, Bush Both Listened To Dick During Presidency

Although many Americans felt that Dick Cheney told President George W. Bush what to do on many occasions during his presidency, not that many knew the even bigger influence Dick had on Bill Clinton. "I'd be in the Oval office signing a bunch of la...
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Funny story: New Lord Triesman Scandal

New Lord Triesman Scandal

The former Lord, David Triesman, the man who single-handedly derailed England's bid to stage the 2018 World Cup, has been involved in a new and even more scandalous scandal involving various comments he is alleged to have made in private to friends.
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Funny story: Wossy channels Tyler Durden

Wossy channels Tyler Durden

London - (Fisticuffs): The Beeb's new reality tv season has debuted with Jonathan Ross re-enacting classic scenes from the cult movie Fight Club. Switching from monotone Norton default mode the iconic presenter initiated guests Ross Noble and Gary...
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Funny story: UK Census 2011 Hits Internet

UK Census 2011 Hits Internet

Every ten years, the UK does a Census of it's population, with the next one due in 2011. Already Farcebook groups are springing up to derail the process. In the previous Census, there was a move towards having Jedi installed as a recognised religi...
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Funny story: Gulf Coast Designated National Mosh Pit

Gulf Coast Designated National Mosh Pit

In what many observers are calling another attempt to make lemonade out of lemons, President Obama announced today that the gulf coast region has been designated a National mosh pit. The president stated, "In designating this area a national trea...
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Funny story: Mouse Holds Peterborough Family Hostage

Mouse Holds Peterborough Family Hostage

Panic has set into the surrounding area of Pontiferol Gardens in Peterborough were a psychotic cheese wielding maniac barged into the home of Mr and Mrs Clive Doubletime before informing them that they were hostages. The mouse then beat up Clive D...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics catch auction fever!

SuBo fanatics catch auction fever!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were all of a flutter today, with their beloved gathering place due to be sold off to the highest bidder later. The fanatics are still attempting to raise enough money to buy it themselves. "We've pa...
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Funny story: Malawi bans birth of gay people within its borders

Malawi bans birth of gay people within its borders

In the wake of a Malawian gay couple's recent sentencing to 14 years of hard labor, the president of Malawi has signed into law a ban on gay people choosing to be born in that country. "Homosexuality is against our culture as well as our constitut...
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Funny story: Rats Jump Overboard at White House as Obama Pours More Water into Sinking Ship of State!

Rats Jump Overboard at White House as Obama Pours More Water into Sinking Ship of State!

Reporters were stunned yesterday during a Presidential address in the Rose Garden when even the Rats started to leave the White House as Obama began to speak about his newest scheme to control US Banks and tinker with the failing economy. With the...
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Funny story: Mad Abbot Enters Leadership Race

Mad Abbot Enters Leadership Race

Former Saturday night TV variety musician and all-round entertainer Russ Abbot has joined the Labour leadership contest. The surprise announcement from Abbot comes at a critical juncture for Labour after the shock defeat in the 2010 General Electi...
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Funny story: Germany to join Sterling Bloc

Germany to join Sterling Bloc

The real reason for David Cameron's visit to Angela Merkel has been revealed. There has been a secret agreement that Germany will join the Sterling Bloc. Frau Merkel is reported to have said: "Ze Euro has got ze Swine Flu - Deutchland cannot supp...
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Funny story: Weightlookers say dog sh*t helps you lose weight fast

Weightlookers say dog sh*t helps you lose weight fast

There was shock across the country as Weightlookers announced its' brand new "Doggy doo so you should too". The idea is very simple, some dogs eat their own turds and a fat dog is rarer than a fat human, therefore eating a soggy brown sausage should...
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Funny story: Third note heard in Lily Allen's latest song!

Third note heard in Lily Allen's latest song!

There was outrage today from fans of Lily Allen across the world as her latest song "Whatever" was heard to have a third note. Even worse, this note was actually sung in tune, according to Jeremy...Clarkson...In the World. After severe pressure f...
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Funny story: HIPS to be scrapped or taxed

HIPS to be scrapped or taxed

How low can the government stoop? Now HIPS are to be scrapped, or perhaps taxed. If you already own your own HIPS, hang on to them as long as you can, no matter how much pain you find yourself in. It is not yet known if, when the government decides to SCRAP HIPS, it will allow those who have already been fitted with HIPS to keep them or whether all artificial HIPS will be recalled. Peopl...
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Funny story: Howard Stern Moving to International Space Station

Howard Stern Moving to International Space Station

Serious Satellite Radio is moving up a notch in quality and timeliness by moving the stars to the space station. Howard Stern is the first celebrity moving to the space station, and starting in July all his broadcasts will be done from a newly cons...
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Funny story: Journey Back From The Centre Of The Earth - A Dark Flowers Production

Journey Back From The Centre Of The Earth - A Dark Flowers Production

It was our most ambitious expedition to date, and we had succeeded against overwhelming odds in achieving our goal, this small band of intrepid adventurers and I. We were at the centre of the very Earth itself. "I must say chaps," Beanflicker announced. "It isn't quite as hot as I expected." "What do you mean old chap?" Forktruck asked. "I was always led to believe that the Earth's cor...
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Funny story: Welcome To Adventures In Census Taking! Today's Subject: The String Theory!

Welcome To Adventures In Census Taking! Today's Subject: The String Theory!

According to the 2010 Census figures of "questions at random", only 5% of the people in Kentucky believe in the String Theory. "I don't care what that PBS show what I watched said. There haint none sech thang as no Strang Therry. My daddy collected strang for forty years at that place the police come and took him to. He'd knowed more than anybody else bout that strang and I asked him. Pa...I al...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber's Head Butting Glass Doors

Justin Bieber's Head Butting Glass Doors

Justin "baby" Bieber has created a new trend, Glass Butting. It's a simple new step where you walk into a glass door believing it will just open.... then slam dunk.... right into the glass while still your in motion and the glass door refuses to open...
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Funny story: UN Names Arizona as Most Dangerous Terrorist State

UN Names Arizona as Most Dangerous Terrorist State

UNITED NATIONS - Arizona, one of America's 50 states, has been sternly criticized for its recent human-rights policies, with Mexico and China receiving the most media attention as they gave scathing condemnation. President Felipe Caldero, Mexico:...
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Funny story: Corrie Siege Latest

Corrie Siege Latest

In an unparalleled dramatic twist next week, Corrie viewers will have to wait until after the 9pm watershed to see the dramatic siege sequences involving Tony Gordon and the staff of the Underworld bra and knicker factory. Probably including Janice,...
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Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens, Robert Pattinson, and Joe Jonas To Star In "The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy Returns To Kansas And Gets Gang-Plowed By The Farm Hands"

Vanessa Hudgens, Robert Pattinson, and Joe Jonas To Star In "The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy Returns To Kansas And Gets Gang-Plowed By The Farm Hands"

LOS ANGELES - The Candlelight Motion Picture Company in association with Universal Studios, and in conjunction with Designated Moviegoers Films has just announced that filming will soon begin on the movie The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy Returns To Kansas...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Hiding in France Like Roman Polanski

Lindsay Lohan Hiding in France Like Roman Polanski

Los Angeles, CA - You have to hand it to Lindsay Lohan. When the going gets tough, the Lohan gets high, and it is that very action that landed Lindsay Lohan in some seriously hot water yet again with a Beverly Hills Judge who ordered an arrest warran...
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Funny story: Brutish Airways Set To Crush Union 'Like A Little Grape'

Brutish Airways Set To Crush Union 'Like A Little Grape'

Willy Vanka, the Chief of Brutish Airways has vowed to smash the UNITY trade union, whatever the cost to the company, its shareholders, or its employees. In an impassioned speech, reminiscent of the Glory days of Margaret Thatcher and Sir Ian McGr...
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Funny story: Dolphins Prove To Be Smartest Creatures On Planet - Maybe They Are Studying Us.

Dolphins Prove To Be Smartest Creatures On Planet - Maybe They Are Studying Us.

New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien. The Kiw...
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Funny story: High-Rise Bank Certified Clean and Green, Customers Awash in a Rising Sea of Red

High-Rise Bank Certified Clean and Green, Customers Awash in a Rising Sea of Red

NEW YORK CITY, New York - The U.S. Green Building Council gave the Bank of AmeriCorp Tower its highest rating for environmental performance and sustainability this Thursday, making it officially the greenest high-rise in New York City. Completed i...
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Funny story: Madonna - Mad As Hell - As Malawian Gay couple get 14 years of Hard Labor

Madonna - Mad As Hell - As Malawian Gay couple get 14 years of Hard Labor

Madonna is spittin' chips over the Malawian Court sentence of a Gay couple to 14 years of hard labor after they were convicted on charges of gross indecency and unnatural acts. Madonna's head is blowing steam saying she is shocked and saddened by...
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Funny story: Schizophrenic Burglar Arrests Himself

Schizophrenic Burglar Arrests Himself

A burglar who shares his split personality with a high ranking police officer yesterday shocked police officers in Todmorden, West Yorkshire when he arrested himself and brought himself in for questioning at the local police station. "Thirty years...
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Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores

DALLAS - A spokesperson for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has just informed the sports media that the brand new 2010 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Calendar has hit the new stands and book stores. The 12 monthly photos were taken by noted naked cal...
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Funny story: Scientists devise algorithm to detect stupidity

Scientists devise algorithm to detect stupidity

A computer algorithm capable of identifying stupidity has been developed by Israeli researchers. The researchers analysed 666,000 Amazon and eBay reviews, people in line at the DMV, political candidates and several other sources of high-quotient...
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Funny story: Hubble Telescope Finds Really Crap Planet - Not Much Excitement

Hubble Telescope Finds Really Crap Planet - Not Much Excitement

Reports are coming in that last night the Hubble Telescope found a really crap planet, and that astronomers didn't get very excited at all by the discovery. The planet, which is apparently a long way away is said to be of little interest to anybod...
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Funny story: Bonkers In Basingstoke

Bonkers In Basingstoke

Reports are flooding in that a woman went stark raving bonkers overnight in Basingstoke, Hants. The unnamed woman was first observed acting bonkers in London Street, where witnesses state that for some inexplicable reason she started to scream at the...
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Funny story: Ron Weinland 'hears' God better after having ears syringed

Ron Weinland 'hears' God better after having ears syringed

Ron still proclaims to the 'crazy' that he is one of two true prophets (the 2nd being his wife) who have been chosen to carry God's messages to the multitudes (of idiots willing to part with their cash, of course, so that Ron and Mrs. Prophet can make lots of money). Since having had his ears syringed, Ron now admits that he has not been hearing all messages of God clearly. Apparently the m...
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