Funny story: Michelle "The Bombshell" McGee Dancing With The Stars Standby Replacement

Michelle "The Bombshell" McGee Dancing With The Stars Standby Replacement

HOLLYWOOD - "Tattoo Tart" Michelle McGee is rumored to be a Dancing With The Stars standby, in the event that one of the celebrity dancers should get hurt and not be able to continue. McGee replied that she would be thrilled to become a possible...
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Funny story: Blinky Pelosi Gangstas Massacre Healthcare

Blinky Pelosi Gangstas Massacre Healthcare

The mob takes over Washington: Blinky Pelosi, who looks like she went to the mattress one too many times, machine gunned down the Republican Party yesterday in a slaughter on Capital Hill reminiscent of the Valentine's Day Massacre back in the Roarin...
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Funny story: Barney Frank: 'Leave no Child's Behind' Measure Forced Through House

Barney Frank: 'Leave no Child's Behind' Measure Forced Through House

In a frantic effort to convert the American population before the rescheduled apocalypse Congressional Chairman of Finance, Barney Frank, announced his 'Leave no Child's Behind' education initiative. "Now that I have crammed my deficit will down...
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Funny story: Katie Price's treble all finish third at Plumpton

Katie Price's treble all finish third at Plumpton

Katie Price also known as Jordan was advised by a top tipster about three horses racing at Plumpton on March 22nd,so she put three pounds EW on each. All three ran and incredibly all three finished third. Plumpton 4.30 Jordan finished 3rd...
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Funny story: The U.S. House Approves The Health Care Bill - Rush Limbaugh Vows To Move To Germany

The U.S. House Approves The Health Care Bill - Rush Limbaugh Vows To Move To Germany

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States House passed The Health Care Bill by a vote of 219 to 212. After months and months of fighting, yelling, screaming, hollering, and backstabbing, (and that was just in the bathrooms), the monumental bill has been p...
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Funny story: "Lost" To Have Three Spin-Offs On ABC

"Lost" To Have Three Spin-Offs On ABC

After it's final season, those of you that have become fans of the show may want to try these spin-offs, or at least they claim to be spin-offs! "Lost In Space" is about a family that gets lost in space instead of on an island. The drama begins w...
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Funny story: Moscow riots: KGB hunts PetroEcuador shooter gunning for Putin ass

Moscow riots: KGB hunts PetroEcuador shooter gunning for Putin ass

Bloodyvostock - (Gazprom Mess): The grassy knoll-esque hitman is believed to have slipped into the country last Friday. Russian intelligence suspects a Day Of The Jackal-like plot is on the cards to excise tyrannical despot Vlad 'The Impaler' Puti...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Stalker Tells What He Would Do If He Caught Her

Miley Cyrus Stalker Tells What He Would Do If He Caught Her

You would think that having the police catch someone who has been dogging your steps for months would make a person happy, but not so with Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus. "He wasn't even caught with duct tape or handcuffs or anything, just a bunch o...
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Funny story: Burst condom non-dom Tory sperm donor hunted

Burst condom non-dom Tory sperm donor hunted

London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Has the Tories' 'secret weapon' election script been ghost-written by an offshore domiciled tycoon who's just made a hefty donation from his burgeoning sperm bank? The Camerons are having none of it and were hog...
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Funny story: Soho Square drain blockage mystery- update!

Soho Square drain blockage mystery- update!

Thames Water engineers finally managed to clear the main sewer pipe running beneath Soho Square after a marathon wrestling session with an unknown blockage! "Superintendent Brian Panzer", of The Metropolitan Police was able to confirm rumours tha...
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Funny story: Scottish University Shuns Sassenachs

Scottish University Shuns Sassenachs

Top British seat of learning Holyrood University has been caned for its "xenophobic" admissions procedures, writes Morag McKilty. Holyrood , graded in the world's top 20 institutions, must try harder when it comes to letting Southerners and Sassan...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Gynecologist Says That Although LiLo is Only 23, Her Intimate Body Parts Look 43!

Lindsay Lohan's Gynecologist Says That Although LiLo is Only 23, Her Intimate Body Parts Look 43!

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan's gynecologist, Dr. Dagoberto Foxowitz, has confided to Larry King that LiLo looks at least 20 years older than she is. Dr. Foxowitz, who has been Lohan's gynecologist ever since she was 12, said that the structure o...
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Funny story: UK man thrown off train for writing song titles

UK man thrown off train for writing song titles

Train passengers need to check their train tickets very carefully before boarding their train. If you are intending to travel from Burntisland to Burnley or Warrington to Bangor ask the guard on the train if your ticket will pass stringent security c...
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Funny story: US Health Reform bill proves that Obama is really the Reincarnated Gandhi!

US Health Reform bill proves that Obama is really the Reincarnated Gandhi!

After successfully pushing through the Health Reform Bill and defying the Republicans it is now a fact, Obama is certainly the reincarnated Gandhi! Comparisons with Mother Teresa, Florence Nightingale and Dr. House have been pouring in but now it...
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Funny story: Jon Gosselin Dating The Lesbian Pedicurist On "The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania"

Jon Gosselin Dating The Lesbian Pedicurist On "The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania"

INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania - Jon Gosselin formerly of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and ex-husband of Kate Gosselin has admitted that he is in fact dating Ribby Updyke, the lesbian pedicurist on the reality show The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
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Funny story: Cash in the Attic finds Origin of A.I.D.S. At Royal Society of London

Cash in the Attic finds Origin of A.I.D.S. At Royal Society of London

WARNING: This article contains intelligent design and even some history. It may be offensive to men of European descent, sloppy scientists, residents of ivory towers and members of PETA. In a stunning revelation the film crew of the barely popu...
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Funny story: Loadsamoney Plc In Bid For Manchester United Scarves

Loadsamoney Plc In Bid For Manchester United Scarves

A consortium of retail managers, painters, decorators, plumbers and plasterers, all diehard reds, has put in an audacious bid for old Manchester United scarves in the continuing battle against the current US owners who know a done deal with Real Madr...
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Funny story: Airport Picket Line Targeted By Perverts

Airport Picket Line Targeted By Perverts

The Metropolitan Police have warned perverts to stay away from airport picket lines as the industrial dispute there rumbles on. Perverts from all over the country have been heading to the airport to mingle with striking cabin crew and rub surrepti...
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Funny story: Pete Docherty to be knighted for his charity work

Pete Docherty to be knighted for his charity work

When he's not selling drugs, taking drugs, doing a spot of burglary, insulting the Germans, spending time in rehab or being arrested, Pete Docherty spends his days tirelessly raising money for good causes and promoting the excellent work of charities...
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Funny story: "By The Sword And The Doublecross," Barackomagne Now Master Of Washington

"By The Sword And The Doublecross," Barackomagne Now Master Of Washington

Not since Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne as Imperator Augustus on December 25, 800 has a man been so deified by the masses. Barackomagne is in step to follow Charles the Great, who ruled the Holy Roman Empire until he died in year 814. Charlemagne'...
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Funny story: Tributes Pour In For Harry Carpenter

Tributes Pour In For Harry Carpenter

The world of sport was united once again in grief today as it was announced that legendary boxing commentator Harry Carpenter has passed away. Famous for the catchphrase "Ya know what I mean 'Arry" which was actually said not by Carpenter but by f...
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Funny story: First French all "Gay" team win Rugby Grandslam beating the English who played it too "Straight"!

First French all "Gay" team win Rugby Grandslam beating the English who played it too "Straight"!

As we all know all the French are GAY! They eat chocolate croissants and "dunk" them in their coffee, GHASTLY, that's GAY. They eat frogs legs, slippery and very GAY! They cheat at Footy, especially that Scarlet "GAY PIMPernel", Messieur Henry, ask the Irish priests, they know him well! Eat "stiff" Baguettes with sticky, creamy, slimy, stinking camembert dripping out of the sides, that's cer...
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Funny story: Meet women: Smell like a spy

Meet women: Smell like a spy

Sneak around behind buildings, crawl under houses, jump off roofs, shoot pretend guns, drool, limp, bandage face, look extremely agitated, hide behind trees, go into sewer pipes, crawl in duct work, drink urine colored water (maybe its scotch), and w...
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Funny story: Tories Will Slap Crippling Tax on Work-Shy Malingerers

Tories Will Slap Crippling Tax on Work-Shy Malingerers

In the most positive move yet that signals that the gloves are off in the brave, new Tory election campaign, a clever group of bright-eyed young policy geeks called 'Think Right Think Tanks For 21st Century Liberty and Sunshine' have proposed a whopp...
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Funny story: Retro Abortion Legislation part of Health Care Reform

Retro Abortion Legislation part of Health Care Reform

Hidden within the 8,000 pages of the President's Health Care Reform Act is what is being hailed as sheer Obama genius; Retroactive Abortion. The new law will allow the mother of any child up to the age of 18, regardless of race, creed, religion,...
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Funny story: You have been warned

You have been warned

Spare a thought today for Mr Tom Shaw, a UK resident, thrown off a train by nosy Security Guards. His alleged crime, writing down words that suggested he was intent on committing a criminal act. His "words" were titles of songs that he and his band would perform at their next gig. It's a timely warning to us all. Do not allow your kids to play FinalFantasy on a train. Do not read any book with...
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Funny story: Congress To Investigate UFO's

Congress To Investigate UFO's

Washington DC-- House-Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to sooth everyone's frayed nerves and get people to think of something else besides health care. Ms. Pelosi will have Congress look into the UFO phenomenon, and decide once and for all if UFOs are rea...
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Funny story: ACORN Plans To File For Bankruptcy - Will Reorganize As A Hip Hop Rap Music Talent Agency

ACORN Plans To File For Bankruptcy - Will Reorganize As A Hip Hop Rap Music Talent Agency

NEW ORLEANS - The Association of Community Organizations For Reform Now, aka ACORN has announced that they are on the verge of bankruptcy. A spokesperson, who wanted to remain nameless but said that we could use the name Leroy, said that she has s...
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Funny story: Celebrity Apprentice: Donald Trump Tells Sinbad To Sail On Off The Show

Celebrity Apprentice: Donald Trump Tells Sinbad To Sail On Off The Show

MANHATTAN - After having some pretty bad 'Kodak Moments' on the latest edition of The Celebrity Apprentice comedian Sinbad was fired by Donald Trump. But then "The Hairdo" really rubbed it in by telling Sinbad the Sailor to set sail for Scotland w...
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Funny story: Jesse James Turns Into The Duke Boys

Jesse James Turns Into The Duke Boys

Although wife Sandra Bullock is still not at her home, the place is still full of drama and paparazzi. Now the neighbors, fans and even family members are getting into the thick of things. Sunday, police were apparently called to the block where J...
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Funny story: Peter Crouch wants to go out with Big Bird

Peter Crouch wants to go out with Big Bird

Peter Crouch the worlds tallest football player, who should really have been a basketball player, wants to go out with Kelly Crabtree, alias Tupele Dorgu, alias Big Bird. Big Bird recently departed from Coronation Street,to rejoin Sesame Street, a...
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Funny story: New driving tests for men and women

New driving tests for men and women

The government has announced plans for new driving tests designed with men and women in mind. Gone are 3 point turns, parallel parking and mirror signal manoeuvre. In comes emergency stop while applying your make up, driving safely in the middle lane...
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Funny story: There Are No Atheists In Foxholes No Tea Baggers In Wheelchairs

There Are No Atheists In Foxholes No Tea Baggers In Wheelchairs

In a study released today from the University of Nowhere's School Of Human Development, it appears that there are no Tea Bagger protesters in wheelchairs. After researching hundreds of heath care protest rallies around the country, the study foun...
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Funny story: Nobel Prize for Medical Excellence to Obama: Proctologist of the Decade!

Nobel Prize for Medical Excellence to Obama: Proctologist of the Decade!

As if one Nobel for Obama wasn't enough, word from Oslo purports he's in line for yet another, but curiously enough, he's been 'deemed' to have EARNED this latest award : Proctologist of the Decade! According to the Proclamation, the award was f...
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Funny story: Irishman buys the book of Gobble-de-gook on ebay

Irishman buys the book of Gobble-de-gook on ebay

Irishman Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly has purchased a copy of the book of Gobble-de-gook on Ebay after reading the book was as controversial as the Bible. "I wanted to compare this book to the bible but was very disappointed said"...
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Funny story: Sandra Bullock turns to Keanu Reeves

Sandra Bullock turns to Keanu Reeves

It has been revealed that Sandra Bullock has sought advice from her co-star Reeves telling him she's 'Freaked?' Apparently Reeves who has a degree in marriage counselling told Sandra 'It's much a do about nothing, and not to play Hardball just ye...
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Funny story: BA - Planes Not Grounded, They're Just Resting

BA - Planes Not Grounded, They're Just Resting

BA today announced that it was pretty much a case of business as usual this morning, despite strike action by cabin crew, members of the Unite union. In what is becoming an increasingly acrimonious and expensive strike, union leaders pointed at ro...
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Funny story: Ian Huntley Has Throat Slashed

Ian Huntley Has Throat Slashed

There was widespread shock and disbelief at Frankland Prison, Durham, today after it was revealed that yet another attempt on the life of notorious Soham child-killer Ian Huntley had failed. Huntley had his throat slashed in the early hours of Sun...
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Funny story: It was the Little Grey Man

It was the Little Grey Man

It was in 1995 on the outskirts of Lancaster, little John Davidson an eight year old boy played football with his friends in the street. Every night his mother would tuck him up in bet always commenting on how tidy his room was. "It was the little grey man" John would say every night,but his mother thought nothing of it thinking that like most children he had an imaginary friend. Two years l...
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Funny story: Sick Man Who Moved Americans To Tears Was A Fake

Sick Man Who Moved Americans To Tears Was A Fake

The 'sick' elderly gentleman who appeared on primetime national television last night appealing for support for the President's healthcare reforms has been exposed as a fake. In what was described as the most moving, articulate speech ever deliver...
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Funny story: Megabux compensation as Huntley blames Venables furor

Megabux compensation as Huntley blames Venables furor

Durham - (Rioters): Convicted child killer Ian Huntley could be in line for a seven-figure compensation payout after blaming anti-Jon Venables hysteria for a vicious knife attack that saw him rushed to hospital yesterday. The 36 year-old killer to...
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Funny story: Global Warming: Bonuses given to some scientists

Global Warming: Bonuses given to some scientists

Professor Karl Carlton known to his friends as the nutty Professor, has spoken out about the myth of Global Warming. Professor Carlton speaking at a meeting in London today informed the audience that he has discovered that Media people and scienti...
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Funny story: Tory regrets visit to Toryglen

Tory regrets visit to Toryglen

David Cameron visited Glasgow last night for a public meeting, in the run up to the General Election. Cameron knowing how hostile Glasgow can be to Tories decided to investigate places in Glasgow to hold a meeting and stumbled upon Toryglen on the So...
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Funny story: Hull City Manager Refuses To Give Up Fight

Hull City Manager Refuses To Give Up Fight

New Hull City manager Iain Dowie has refused to give up the fight to keep his beleaguered Tigers in the Premier League, and says that there is always hope, even after their vain struggle has become mathematically impossible. Dowie, who dropped out...
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Funny story: US House passes key healthcare reform

US House passes key healthcare reform

The wacky world of Mad Dog Barack Obama became a little more insane yesterday when he insisted on letting a small detached bungalow decide whether his fancy new healthcare reform for keys should be passed or not. In the small American town of Bast...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Alleges That Jesse James Touched Three of Her 37 Tattoos

Amy Winehouse Alleges That Jesse James Touched Three of Her 37 Tattoos

LONDON - Amy Winehouse recently performed before a special gathering of retired Buckingham Palace guards at Toby's Tavern and Crumpet Bistro in Orpington. The much tattooed singer was asked what she thought about Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullo...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle To Record A Duet With Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud

Susan Boyle To Record A Duet With Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud

LONDON - Susan Boyle has announced that she will be going into the recording studio and recording a song with Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud. Boyle said that she recently received an email from Coyle telling her that her version of "Wild Horses" is t...
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Funny story: Sandra Bullock Seeking Comfort In The Dancing Arms of Derek Hough

Sandra Bullock Seeking Comfort In The Dancing Arms of Derek Hough

HOLLYWOOD - After finding out that her husband, Jesse James, was playing 'tonsil hockey', 'crotch croquet,' and 'hide the salami' with one of the most tattooed skanks (ho's) in the entire United States of America, Sandra Bullock has moved out of the...
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Funny story: Jamie Carragher In Old Trafford Accident Drama

Jamie Carragher In Old Trafford Accident Drama

Further drama at Old Trafford yesterday afternoon following Liverpool's 2-1 defeat to despised rivals Manchester United when hard-man Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher stubbed his toe walking to the shower in the dressing room. Carragher reported...
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Funny story: Man United Fans Not Gloating Over Liverpool Result

Man United Fans Not Gloating Over Liverpool Result

Knowing what an arrogant lot Man United fans are, we decided to get reactions from them after their 2-1 victory over deadly rivals Liverpool so that we could get fans of other clubs to hate them even more than they already do. We spoke to Bez from...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Tony Dovolani Says He Loves Practicing In Kate Gosselin's "Basement"

Dancing With The Stars: Tony Dovolani Says He Loves Practicing In Kate Gosselin's "Basement"

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - One of the best professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars is Tony Dovolani. And for the upcoming season of DWTS, "Dancing Tony" has been paired with none other than Kate Gosselin, "King Kate" formerly of Jon and Kate P...
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Funny story: Sarah Harding Isn't The New Gaga - I Am - Says Stefani Germanotta

Sarah Harding Isn't The New Gaga - I Am - Says Stefani Germanotta

A young New York City woman today rubbished reports claiming that Girls Aloud blonde bikini-babe Sarah Harding was planning on being the new Lady Gaga. Stefani Germanotta told our reporter that it made no difference if Cheryl Cole, Paula Abdul, Pr...
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Funny story: Grandpa's Marijuana Handbook

Grandpa's Marijuana Handbook

NB-Here it is, Grandpa Ganja's classic work on the noble marijuana bush wherein he discusses how to grow pot, buy it, steal it, smoke and/or eat it, hide it from jackbooted cops and even includes its history, medical uses, myths, etc. GMH will add a touch of class to your personal library and it makes a great gift for fellow-tokers. Grandpa's MARIJUANA Handbook by ©Evan Kelihe...
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