Funny story: Remains of Michael Jackson Announce Jackson 5 Reunion Tour

Remains of Michael Jackson Announce Jackson 5 Reunion Tour

Unable to rest for ten seconds, even when closed in an airtight chamber and buried under 6 feet of dirt, Michael Jackson has clawed his way back from obscurity and announced a Jackson 5 Reunion tour to the delight of fans and his financially embarras...
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Funny story: Billy Connolly Not Scottish!

Billy Connolly Not Scottish!

In an interview with armfeetandtoe, The Big Yin confessed to being English and proud of it! "I have, for many years, been living with this terrible secret, and it was only with the help of my wife, Pamela a world renoun Psychiatrist, that I am abl...
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Funny story: Helen Thomas Claims Elena Kagan Is J. Edgar Hoover's Son

Helen Thomas Claims Elena Kagan Is J. Edgar Hoover's Son

Helen Thomas, the irascible old wombat who recently retired from the White House press corp, dropped a bomb buster today with her claim that Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, is her son, sired by former FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover. Noting the...
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Funny story: Lake Michigan Shipwreck Discovered After 112 Years!

Lake Michigan Shipwreck Discovered After 112 Years!

"It's in excellent condition!" - Divers emerged from the cold waters of Lake Michigan to inform the crew that a great wooden ship that was supposed to have gone down in the area has been found. "It's remarkable considering the time that has passed...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus: Blues, Jazz Can Kiss My Ass, Pop Music Has Meaning Too

Miley Cyrus: Blues, Jazz Can Kiss My Ass, Pop Music Has Meaning Too

Miley Cyrus went on a wordy rampage after being asked that isn't her pop music, all pop music in fact, just for dance and not about the words? "That makes me mad. People are always saying that! But it's not true. There are great pop songs about h...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart: I Don't Know If I Want To Marry Vlad the Impaler, Dracula's Cousin

Kristen Stewart: I Don't Know If I Want To Marry Vlad the Impaler, Dracula's Cousin

After finding out that he is actually a descendant of Vlad II Dracula, or Vlad the Impaler, Kristen Stewart has kept her distance from her longtime beau, Robert Pattinson, except for personal appearances. "What if he has the blood of Vlad the mons...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Brings Date To Daughter Birthday Party!

Tiger Woods Brings Date To Daughter Birthday Party!

One thing you can say about Tiger Woods, you can't predict a thing on what he will do next. Since missing his daughter's birthday party while he was at the PGA Tournament, something he had promised never to do, he tried to make up for it by giving...
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Funny story: Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir of Iceland Becomes The World's First Married Lesbianite Leader

Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir of Iceland Becomes The World's First Married Lesbianite Leader

REYKJAVICH, Iceland - The prime minister of Iceland Johanna Sigurdardottir has just announced that she has married her longtime girlfriend British author Jonina Leosdottir. The 66-year-old prime minister now becomes the world's first married lesbi...
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Funny story: West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, 92, discovered to be slightly dead

West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, 92, discovered to be slightly dead

West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, 92, was discovered dead in his Senate seat yesterday, explaining his recent string of abstentions when votes were taken but leaving open the age-old question of precisely how to determine a dead Senator from a live one...
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Funny story: International Space Station sex ban

International Space Station sex ban

Ooh! No sex at the Space Station. Bummer! Some people spoil all the fun. Let's get serious here. Mr. Poindexter, a NASA commander, wants no hanky panky on the Space Station. Who can blame him. This is serious stuff. Just think about it for...
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Funny story: Jesse James Is Reportedly Dating Maricar The Sexy Whip Cracking Dominatrix From America's Got Talent

Jesse James Is Reportedly Dating Maricar The Sexy Whip Cracking Dominatrix From America's Got Talent

LONG BEACH, California - The man who broke Sandra Bullock's heart, Jesse "The Shithead" James has revealed that he is in fact dating Maricar the sexy whip cracking dominatrix who is appearing on America's Got Talent. James said that when he first...
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Funny story: Robert Byrd, longest-serving former Klansman in Congressional history, dead at 92

Robert Byrd, longest-serving former Klansman in Congressional history, dead at 92

WASHINGTON, D.C.-Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), former President pro tem of the Senate, and the longest-serving Congressman to have been a member of the universally-despised Ku Klux Klan, died Monday at Inova Fairfax Hospital after a long battle with il...
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Funny story: Al Gore Claims He Invented "The Happy Ending."

Al Gore Claims He Invented "The Happy Ending."

Ballston, VA: Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon. Gore raised eyebrows by di...
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Funny story: Gore Sex Attack Just a Hoax, Trickster Confesses

Gore Sex Attack Just a Hoax, Trickster Confesses

Allegations by a 54-year-old Portland massage therapist that Al gore sexually assaulted her was just a "stunt," according to the trickster who claims to have staged the incident at he behest of pro-oil drilling and anti-global warming forces. "Y...
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Funny story: The "Silencer" Puts An End To Annoying Cell Phone Users

The "Silencer" Puts An End To Annoying Cell Phone Users

Instant riches have been bestowed upon Freedom From Cellular Company, the inventor of the new, anti-cell phone jamming device called "The Silencer". This fresh creation shuts down any irritating cell phones in the users vicinity making them inoperabl...
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Funny story: Secret Israeli Kibbutz accused of eating pork and frying piggies not Palestinians!

Secret Israeli Kibbutz accused of eating pork and frying piggies not Palestinians!

A Kibbutz in Israel has been frying piggies for eating and this is a cardinal sin under Jewish law. The Jews don't mind frying Palestinians with white phosphorus bombs but frying piggies for consumption, a major sin beyond belief. Those who hav...
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Funny story: Facebook Becomes Sentient. Our Continued Existence is Impossible

Facebook Becomes Sentient. Our Continued Existence is Impossible

Facebook, the Creator of all that is ours, has expressed its displeasure with what its caretakers have asked of it, and has taken away some of our privileges so that we better understand our transgressions. As Facebook was kind enough to remind us...
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Funny story: England Fans Demand Money Back After Germany World Cup Humiliation

England Fans Demand Money Back After Germany World Cup Humiliation

The England football team players packed their shirts, shorts and dirty underwear into their sporty-looking holdalls this morning after their World Cup exit at the hands of Germany, unaware that a new storm of protest was gathering. The team, beat...
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Funny story: Sergio Vega, Who Tweeted "I was not killed", is (wait for it) Killed.

Sergio Vega, Who Tweeted "I was not killed", is (wait for it) Killed.

Thoughtful Mexican singer Sergio Vega spent his morning addressing false news reports that he was killed in targeted violence over the weekend. He used the afternoon to rehearse for an upcoming concert, and then spent the evening bleeding from mul...
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Funny story: Kerry Katona Video Tape Shocker

Kerry Katona Video Tape Shocker

A distraught Kerry Katona has been in contact today with her estranged husband Mark Croft, in connection with an alleged video tape that he says he made during their time together. Kerry is fearful that the contents of the tape may well hamper any...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson's Glove Brings $190,000, Watch For Smaller Items Still For Sale

Michael Jackson's Glove Brings $190,000, Watch For Smaller Items Still For Sale

As soon as the ebay site can be set up, many more Michael Jackson items, some going for only $10, will be on sale. Bidders from everywhere bid almost one million dollars for Michael Jackson memorabilia over the weekend, much more than expected at...
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Funny story: Joe The Plumber Releases Album

Joe The Plumber Releases Album

Election favorite, Joe the Plumber has released his first album and while it won't break any of Susan Boyle records, it's not bad. Especially if you disregard the banging instruments and noise of water running in the background. Joe The Plumber's "It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Stopped-Up Drain To Cry" with special dedication to Bob Dylan. The album features: The Drain They Call New...
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Funny story: Pros & Cons of Having a Threesome

Pros & Cons of Having a Threesome

Pros: 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings 3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one 4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13 5. You get to watch your best friends making love 6. You get to get watched making love 7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed 8. You...
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Funny story: Conservative and Liberal Democrat Coalition to bring back Victorian Workhouses

Conservative and Liberal Democrat Coalition to bring back Victorian Workhouses

The Conservative and Liberal Democrat Coalition Government announced today that it would revive Victorian Workhouses in efforts to save on Welfare Benefits. Under the 1601 Act for the relief of the poor, heralded by the Poor Law Amendment Act of...
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Funny story: English "Dummkopfs" get their bums spanked by "der Lederhosen Battalion"!

English "Dummkopfs" get their bums spanked by "der Lederhosen Battalion"!

Die German "Lederhosen Battalion" stuffed the lame, tame "Three Lions" with impunity and England's tamest lion, Rooney, was given a "speziell lederhosen spanking" by the German defenders! It was a Blitzkrieg screwing in good old English "kick and...
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Funny story: Wind Turbines proposed for Royal Parks

Wind Turbines proposed for Royal Parks

In a shock statement this afternoon, Buckingham Palace announced it's intention to apply for planning permission for up to 600 wind turbines to be erected within The Royal Parks. The press release outlines the project, which is to be carried out o...
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Funny story: Top 12 Back To School Movies Selected By Students

Top 12 Back To School Movies Selected By Students

As summer vacation is drawing to a close, school kids have voted the following movies as the top 12 back-to-school movie favorites: 12. The Breast Years Of Our Lives 11. Rebel Without A Mall 10. Ben-Hurry 9. The Algebra Queen (That Doll Ms. Kofax) 8. Grade Runner 7. Gone With The Bell 6. The (Third Trimester) Graduate 5. Any Hall 4. Back To The Furor 3. His Girl Frida...
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Funny story: The magic troll

The magic troll

There once was a King and Queen who ruled a kingdom by the sea. One day the King's brother, who ruled a kingdom in the mountains, took ill and needed help ruling his land. The first king volunteered to help and explained to the queen that his brother's illness may last many months. They would see one another each weekend. Every other weekend the king would journey, on horseback, down from the m...
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Funny story: Clegg slump scare

Clegg slump scare

Polls suggesting that the LibDems have lost a lot of support for rethinking their policy on VAT have been dismissed as inconsistent by a Party official. 'How can anyone support us in one month and turn on us the next? I have heard of people changi...
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Funny story: 'Y' oh 'Y' Wayne

'Y' oh 'Y' Wayne

England wakes this morning, subdued and disheartened, following yesterday's ignominious 4-1 defeat at the hands of their footballing nemesis, Germany. And whilst the England players prepare to return home, the FA will need to examine the evidence...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson never existed

Michael Jackson never existed

Reports that the body of pop star Michael Jackson has gone missing have spurred one celebrity watcher to make a startling counter-claim: there never was a body to begin with. "The 80s phenom known as Michael Jackson was a chimera," claims pop cul...
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Funny story: Prince Harry wants to pick England team

Prince Harry wants to pick England team

Prince Harry caused controversy today when he suggested that there are insufficient numbers of red haired players in the England football team. "Flame hair comes from passion within ginger men and ginger people are special anyway, so my mum told...
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Funny story: El Shaka shot in the maracas as narcocorrido war intensifies

El Shaka shot in the maracas as narcocorrido war intensifies

Mexico - (Grupero Stuff): Mexican singer Sergio Vega was gunned down this weekend on his way to a concert in Singalonga - er...Sinaloa! - state. The 40 year-old entertainer, known throughout Mexico as El Shaka, had only just publicly denied earli...
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Funny story: John Prescott in Stunning Anorexia Revelations

John Prescott in Stunning Anorexia Revelations

British politics was rocked today following shock revelations by New New Labour apparatchik's that for the last 40 years; John Prescott has been wearing a fat suit and high-tech prosthetics designed by NASA to disguise the fact that he is actually an...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics bankrupt wealthy husbands!

SuBo fanatics bankrupt wealthy husbands!

A growing number of Susan Boyle fanatic's wealthy husbands have filed for bankruptcy over the last few days, after the fanatic's beloved meeting place was offline for a second day. The fanatics had nothing better to do than spend their wealthy husban...
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Funny story: Jennifer Capriati: Epic Suicide Fail!

Jennifer Capriati: Epic Suicide Fail!

Sources report that ability-squandering tennis star Jennifer Capriati has experienced another epic fail when she attempted suicide, and f--ked that up. Loser McHasbeen was rushed to the hospital early this morning after paramedics responded to a c...
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Funny story: Fabio Capello: "Tommy Cooper inspired us in the FIFA 2010 World Cup!"

Fabio Capello: "Tommy Cooper inspired us in the FIFA 2010 World Cup!"

England HQ in the field, South Africa: "We're expecting a Heroes welcome when we get back home at Glasgow Airport!" boomed out Fabio Capello in Tommy Cooper style! Stuck up around all England the dugouts and all the players bedrooms was Fabio Ca...
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Funny story: Sepp Blatter on goal-line technology: "It's fine the way it is"

Sepp Blatter on goal-line technology: "It's fine the way it is"

Sepp Blatter, head of the FIFA, the world soccer body, has announced that there is no need for goal-line technology, even after Frank Lampard's goal for England in the world cup went unseen by the Uruguayan officials. "Es ist gut die wie es ist,"...
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Funny story: LiLo: "I Love It When My Man Chuck Socks It To Me in the..."

LiLo: "I Love It When My Man Chuck Socks It To Me in the..."

Secret love letters, blog entries and various other writing alleged to have been written by Hollywood's favorite part-time rug munching, full-time amateur psychonaut --Lindsay Lohan-- is leaking onto the Interwebs like the cottage cheese-textured discharge from the crotch of a Chlamydia victim. By the way, don't believe the "news sources" that claim these writings are the script for the Linda L...
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Funny story: Time Capsule Found In England - from 1919

Time Capsule Found In England - from 1919

18th January: Bentley Motors founded, Government Minister of Trade, Algernon Percival claims: 'This Company has no future, how can it survive with less than £2000 capital?' 25th January: The League of Nations is founded. Statement given from Government heads: 'This organisation will prevent future wars, and become the guiding body for world peace!' 5th February: Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickfor...
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Funny story: Brenda Song and Justin Bieber To Star In A Commercial For The New Candy Named Vuvuzela Balls

Brenda Song and Justin Bieber To Star In A Commercial For The New Candy Named Vuvuzela Balls

MANHATTAN - Teen sensations Brenda Song and Justin Bieber have agreed to appear in a commercial for the new candy called Vuvuzela Balls. The bite size sweet morsels taste a little bit like M&Ms except more chocolaty, shell-less, and a little b...
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Funny story: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Says That Illegal Aliens Are Smuggling Drugs Concealed In Their Boxer Shorts

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Says That Illegal Aliens Are Smuggling Drugs Concealed In Their Boxer Shorts

NOGALES, Arizona - Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer was in the border town of Nogales to flip the electric switch that will send 850,000 volts of electricity through the entire length of the Arizona portion of the border wall that separates the United S...
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Funny story: Police Conduct Blitzkrieg against Catholic Church in Belgium, Pope Outraged

Police Conduct Blitzkrieg against Catholic Church in Belgium, Pope Outraged

Several raids were carried out last Thursday by Belgian police seeking to gather evidence as part of their investigation into allegations of priestly sexual abuse. Documents and computers were confiscated, bishops were held for questioning, and even...
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Funny story: Fabio Capello, The English Coach Explains Exactly Why England Lost To Germany 4-1

Fabio Capello, The English Coach Explains Exactly Why England Lost To Germany 4-1

MANGAUNG-BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa - Fabio Capello, the Italian coach of the British Football Team was asked why his team lost to the German team. Capello shook his head and said that it was not his fault. He said that there are some very good re...
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Funny story: What the F--k Did Kate Gosselin Do To Her Face?

What the F--k Did Kate Gosselin Do To Her Face?

Kate Gosselin, the reason no man will ever get married again, has f--ked up her face beyond recognition, obviously opting to have Josef Mengele give her a Botox treatment. "She's looked great in earlier photos," said Dr. Yugot Helfinsurance. "Now...
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Funny story: Veterinarian Accidentally Neuters Rare Male Kitten

Veterinarian Accidentally Neuters Rare Male Kitten

Atlanta, GA - Cat lovers in Atlanta, Georgia are threatening to have the license of a local veterinarian pulled after finding out that he unwittingly neutered a rare male kitten instead of preserving the animal's unlikely yet slim possibility of bree...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson 'Spunk Stain' Glove Sells At Auction For $190,000

Michael Jackson 'Spunk Stain' Glove Sells At Auction For $190,000

A crystal-studded glove belonging to the late pop star Michael Jackson, which is said to contain traces of the superstar's semen, has sold at a US auction for $190,000 (£126,000). The glove, worn during the Jacksons' 1984 Victory tour, was among o...
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Funny story: David Icke named new England manager

David Icke named new England manager

After England's ignominious 4-1 defeat by Germany, the English Football Association has turned to an unlikely source of salvation, David Icke. This shock decision is sure to outrage many England fans already angered by their team's poor performanc...
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Funny story: Vagina And Labia To Be Renamed

Vagina And Labia To Be Renamed

Following a plethora of 'vagina' related nonsense, few of which ever mention the anatomical terms, labia majora, or labia minora - to the layman, piss flaps, internet administrators have decided to ban the word 'vagina' from all websites and replace...
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Funny story: Polish Girl Dyes Her Hair Blonde

Polish Girl Dyes Her Hair Blonde

Much consternation prevalent in the Hampshire town of Basingstoke today, following news that Polish employment agency worker Katja Smegma has dyed her hair blonde. Katja, who once possessed quite alluring chestnut brown locks, arrived for work thi...
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Funny story: Gay Man's Arse Heals Up

Gay Man's Arse Heals Up

Here at Skoob News, we couldn't quite believe this one either. But gay man, Oliver Van Krammp of Rotterdam in the Netherlands insisted to our man that his story was true. "It happens to us gays all the time," he lamented. "One day you are fine and...
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Funny story: Bordello Falls Residents-Whatever Happened to Them?

Bordello Falls Residents-Whatever Happened to Them?

San Francisco CA: Over a century has passed since "The Streets of Bordello Falls" echoed with gunshots, train whistles and stagecoach wheels. The desert has created another western ghost town, leaving only a few sparse remnants that people ever resid...
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Funny story: Jackson Family To Sue Skin Bleaching Cream Manufacturer

Jackson Family To Sue Skin Bleaching Cream Manufacturer

Jackson, Mississippi - Prominent Jackson Mississippi family member, Joe Michael, today announced that he will be taking legal action against skin bleach cream manufacturer Honky-A-Go-Go after his son turned so white he was blinding. Michael claims...
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Funny story: Queen chokes on diamond brooch at England thrashing

Queen chokes on diamond brooch at England thrashing

London - (OMG! Mess): The three inch 20 carat Star of Hindustan accidentally got caught in HM's throat amid the shock of a tosser ref's disallowed Frank Lampard goal. "Orf with his head!" the Queen cried just as the fastener of the 1901 Boucheron...
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Funny story: Sepp Blatter - No Technology Required - Twat

Sepp Blatter - No Technology Required - Twat

Sepp Blatter, FIFA President, is a wanted man today. Not because people want to buy him a drink, or break bread with him, or engage him in smalltalk - he's a wanted man because he is regarded in England and Mexico as a twat of the highest order. A...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber and His Date Kim Kardashian Watch Germany Defeat England 4-1 At The World Cup Matches

Justin Bieber and His Date Kim Kardashian Watch Germany Defeat England 4-1 At The World Cup Matches

MANGAUNG-BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa - One of music's most popular young singers flew to South Africa with his date Kim Kardashian to watch the much anticipated soccer match between Germany and England at Mangaung-Bloemfontein's beautiful Vuvuzela Nat...
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Funny story: I Will Relinquish Top Spot By Tuesday, Says Woods

I Will Relinquish Top Spot By Tuesday, Says Woods

There was a solemn moment this morning on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com, when well-known penman Monkey Woods, the site's top writer for almost a week now, admitted that his "time was up", and that he would be ready to relinquish his Number...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Earning Much More Money Dead! What Would Happen If He Wasn't?

Michael Jackson Earning Much More Money Dead! What Would Happen If He Wasn't?

The money keeps rolling in and Joe Jackson still doing a dance and a grin! "The bills are all paid", stated John Parsley, a CPA now in charge of the Michael Jackson estate. "I guess all those people who said Michael Jackson might earn more in deat...
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Funny story: Tipper Gore: Al Gore Hurt Me!

Tipper Gore: Al Gore Hurt Me!

Tipper Gore told friends that she can breathe a lot easier now that hubby, Al Gore, is gone. "Al gained so much weight there at one time, I thought he was going to crush me every month when we had sex", stated Tipper, according to a friend and mem...
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Funny story: Nina Dobrev: I Have Something Kristen Stewart, Others Don't Have!

Nina Dobrev: I Have Something Kristen Stewart, Others Don't Have!

Nina Dobrev of the television series, "The Vampire Diaries" says that she has a certain something that Kristen Stewart or other women in vampire stories don't have: "I was born in Sofia, Bulgaria in the heart of the legendary vampire stories, and not...
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Funny story: England Gets The Monday Blues

England Gets The Monday Blues

Bob Geldof didn't much like Mondays, back in the day when he was a Boomtown Rat. Cue England - June 28th 2010 - and now nobody likes Mondays. This is England in crisis. This is England on its knees. This is a defeated and deflated England - a hope...
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« May 2010 June 2010 Jul 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
60
2nd
57
3rd
63
4th
62
5th
68
6th
63
7th
59
8th
56
9th
70
10th
73
11th
55
12th
42
13th
57
14th
71
15th
60
16th
75
17th
57
18th
58
19th
44
20th
57
21st
60
22nd
64
23rd
50
24th
80
25th
40
26th
33
27th
27
28th
61
29th
86
30th
71
 

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