Funny story: Fergie bankrupt

Fergie bankrupt

"What goes up, must come down" as Sarah Ferguson found out between 1986 and yesterday after she left Camberwell Magistrates court with just £1.20 on an Oyster Card and a copy of "Budgie all at sea" - loaned to her on 'compassionate' grounds. When...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell Says: "Goodbye Cheryl Cole, Hello Jordan"?

Simon Cowell Says: "Goodbye Cheryl Cole, Hello Jordan"?

Polyfilla-pumped glamour-girl Jordan whose man-made mammaries have wowed and KO'd UK wankers for donkey's years, is a fearsome piece of made-in-a-fame-factory kit indeed, writes Bernie Bovine, Shit-Shovelling Correspondent. Jordan, who is also kno...
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Funny story: Midget Falls for Enlargement Ad, Penis Grows Disproportionately Large

Midget Falls for Enlargement Ad, Penis Grows Disproportionately Large

Hugh Jawilly is a height-challenged 18-year old male who knew in his heart of hearts that he was never going to grow any bigger. At 4'3", Hugh is now fully grown according to his physicians. But he never gave up hope that someday he'd find a treatmen...
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Funny story: Pope Says "Yes" to Gay Marriages

Pope Says "Yes" to Gay Marriages

Pope Benedict XVI announced today that gay marriage is okay. He is changing the Roman Catholic Church's homophobic stance on gay marriage, and allowing priest to now marry gay couples. "I looked at what it meant to be a priest, and I realized...
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Funny story: Michael Becker Says That The Reason Germany Lost To Spain Is Because of Its Gay Players

Michael Becker Says That The Reason Germany Lost To Spain Is Because of Its Gay Players

BERLIN - Michael Becker, who is the manager of the German National Team Captain Michael Ballack, has stated that the reason that Germany lost to Spain is because of the gay players on the German team. Becker said that the German gays spend too muc...
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Funny story: Daniel Radcliffe To Do More Nude Broadway

Daniel Radcliffe To Do More Nude Broadway

So what does Daniel Radcliffe do after completing the last couple of Harry Potter movies that end next summer? He goes back to nude Broadway, of course. "I enjoyed doing 'Equus" before and got used to acting without any clothes. I know some people...
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Funny story: Steve Jobs rescues troubled Cupertino duct tape company

Steve Jobs rescues troubled Cupertino duct tape company

CUPERTINO, California -- Apple Duct Tape had its largest order to date placed today, rescuing the troubled Cupertino company from the brink of almost certain bankruptcy, according to its founder. "My heart leaped when I saw [Steve Jobs] come throu...
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Funny story: 18 months too late - China media borrows TheSpoof.com writer shea lo's article on Inibanistan and gives it a jihadi spindian monkeys fighting in Tal

18 months too late - China media borrows TheSpoof.com writer shea lo's article on Inibanistan and gives it a jihadi spindian monkeys fighting in Tal

NEW YORK: On 5 December 2009 TheSpoof.com writer shea lo reported: "India uses highly trained monkey squads to dismantle bombs in Afghanistan". The article stated that India had taken its Security-Cooperation partnership with the US to a new lev...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

HOLLYWOOD - Two of Tinsel Town's leading producers, brothers Amaretto and Staccato Monteverdi have joined together to film the vampire epic, The Vampire Diet. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart purchased the rights to the Alec Swishtoot penned n...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Opens Marijuana Superstore

Mel Gibson Opens Marijuana Superstore

Hollywood, CA. Beating Woody Harrelson to market Mel Gibson announced the opening of the Gibson Hemp Market today in West Hollywood during a ribbon cutting ceremony that featured Seth Rogan. Gibson gave a brief statement before the ribbon was...
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Funny story: Top Gear to build world's tallest car

Top Gear to build world's tallest car

Plans are afoot to construct the worlds tallest car with the driver sitting in a 'crows-nest' up to 80ft above the road. Critics had been concerned the popular show would end up passed it's sell by date like initial classics 'Fools & Horses',...
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Funny story: MTV's "The Hills" Had Several Different Endings!

MTV's "The Hills" Had Several Different Endings!

For six seasons, fans of MTV's The Hills have wondered about the show's authenticity. Is it a reality soap or just a scripted soap opera? In the season finale, things got even worse. "That was a great show to have such a weird ending!" stated o...
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Funny story: Mass Murderer Digs Up Police

Mass Murderer Digs Up Police

Mass murderer Peter Tobin, has spent the night digging in his garden in an attempt to try and find police. Mr.Tobin explained. "The police came here some time ago to dig for my victims and now the police have gone missing. They are not pinning thi...
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Funny story: UK BP Helped Lockerbie Bomber: Ho Hum

UK BP Helped Lockerbie Bomber: Ho Hum

A spokesman for Prime Misistser David Cameraon has issued a statemet regarding the UK and BP's involvement in the release of Megrahi, the mastermind of the Lockerbie bombing. "Of course, we played a part in his release! Do you know how much oil Li...
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Funny story: Cameron defends Raoul Moat's Facebook fan club

Cameron defends Raoul Moat's Facebook fan club

Gay prime minister David Cameron has defended facebooks fan page of cuddly geordie Raoul Moat saying "He has more bloody friends than me but he looks so cute" Speaking in the house of commons the PM has denied reports that a deal has been done with t...
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Funny story: French Bastille Day is called hypocritical by flop French footy players and Human Rights activists, pourquoi?

French Bastille Day is called hypocritical by flop French footy players and Human Rights activists, pourquoi?

Bastille Day celebrated by the French in memory of the storming of the Bastille and sparking off the French Revolution has been criticised from some strange quarters as being hypocritical? Firstly the present French government led by that lovable...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber To Star In Two and A Half Men As Charlie Sheen's Long Lost Son Tabasco Harper

Justin Bieber To Star In Two and A Half Men As Charlie Sheen's Long Lost Son Tabasco Harper

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of the number one rated American television sit-com Two and A Half Men are thrilled to announce that they have signed Canadian teen idol Justin Bieber to join the cast of the top rated comedy. Justin will be portraying Ty...
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Funny story: Michael Savage To David Cameron: "Go (Sexual Congress) Yourself."

Michael Savage To David Cameron: "Go (Sexual Congress) Yourself."

Dr. Michael Savage, the conservative American talk-show host who was inexplicably banned from entering the United Kingdom last year by Home Office Secretary Jacqui Smith, of whom Savage spoke quite fondly, takes aim at Prime Minister David Cameron.
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Funny story: What Do Male Mosquitoes Do When the Females are off Vamping?

What Do Male Mosquitoes Do When the Females are off Vamping?

Scientists at the Manual Noriega Malaria Research Institute in Panama City, Panama spend all their time chasing information about female mosquitoes while the male mosquito is virtually ignored. The mosquito research tabulates massive data about the...
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Funny story: Redheaded Spy Anna Chapman To Do Special 2011 Calendar For US, European Markets

Redheaded Spy Anna Chapman To Do Special 2011 Calendar For US, European Markets

Famed Russian spy Anna Chapman says she will be paid over one million dollars by a certain U.S. magazine to pose for a new calendar for next year. Anna basically says that she never had much to report for her spying efforts even though she sought...
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Funny story: Sexy Lisa Snowdon bares all and gets her gripes out

Sexy Lisa Snowdon bares all and gets her gripes out

Lisa Snowdon is whinnying that she has left it too late to have kids. The 39-year-old model and radio presenter admits she is part of the growing trend of SAS daters - shaggable, attractive and succsexful women with everything but a fella. 'I w...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Tries to become Jewish Black Woman

Mel Gibson Tries to become Jewish Black Woman

Mel Gibson has reportedly been calling the late Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons to quote-unquote "reverse the process". Post the airing of Gibson's latest rant on the Ryan Seacrest bimbo megaphone channel, Gibson's left with few options. Gone are...
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Funny story: Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...
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Funny story: OMG! Anna Chapman is Carla Bruni's daughter!

OMG! Anna Chapman is Carla Bruni's daughter!

Moscow - (Na Zdrawie!): France's Premiere Madame has tested DNA positive for being Anna Chapman's mother, KGB sources said today. That makes the failed 'Ukranian' spook a 99.9% contender for Silvio Berlusconi's grand-daughter, sparking fears of ye...
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Funny story: Madhuri, the Indian elephant giving lizards bungee jumping experience

Madhuri, the Indian elephant giving lizards bungee jumping experience

Madhuri, an Indian elephant living in India's Corbett National Park, has been photographed swinging lizards around by their tails. He picks them up in his trunk and swings them up, down and sideways. The lizards are a little dizzy when they are p...
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Funny story: England Ranked 13th In FIFA World Cup Rankings

England Ranked 13th In FIFA World Cup Rankings

The England football team may not have won the World Cup in South Africa, but their progression into the second stage of the tournament has lifted them into a lofty 13th place in the FIFA World Cup rankings, and coach Fabio Capello says the team dese...
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Funny story: Gorillas play games similar to humans, scientists discover

Gorillas play games similar to humans, scientists discover

By studying footage recorded in zoos, the team found that the great apes would hit a playmate and then run away, chased by the gorilla they had struck. In other instances, it was noticed that one gorilla would hang around the watering hole and com...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Tours The Florida Panhandle Proclaiming - We Are Winning The Damn Oil Spill Battle, There Are No Tar Balls on Malibu Beach, Santa Monica Beach, or Capistrano Beach

Michelle Obama Tours The Florida Panhandle Proclaiming - We Are Winning The Damn Oil Spill Battle, There Are No Tar Balls on Malibu Beach, Santa Monica Beach, or Capistrano Beach

PANAMA CITY, Florida - First Lady Michelle Obama, aka "Da First Mama" was in town speaking before a meeting of The Panama City Mothers For Nice, Clean, Tidy Tar Ball Free Beaches. She was asked if she feels that her husband's administration is doi...
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Funny story: Louise Minchin To Be Interviewed By Oprah Winfrey For Mature Women Illustrated Magazine

Louise Minchin To Be Interviewed By Oprah Winfrey For Mature Women Illustrated Magazine

LONDON - The presenter for BBC News at One and BBC Breakfast, Louise Minchin has verified that she has signed to do an interview with the American women's publication Mature Women Illustrated. The 42-year-old good-looking English lady, Louise Minc...
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Funny story: Muslim veil banned on safety grounds

Muslim veil banned on safety grounds

The face covering veils know as 'Niqab' or shuttlecock 'Burqa' are to be banned on health and safety grounds. The ruling marks a breakthrough for the Health and Safety executive who have not been able to pass any 'common sense' laws since the abol...
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Funny story: SuBo, Bono and Sting headline new Raoul Moat tribute album

SuBo, Bono and Sting headline new Raoul Moat tribute album

Susan Boyle and veteran rockers U2 are said to be delighted to perform on a new concept album dedicated to the memory of Raoul Moat. The album entitled The Love Moat also includes contributions from Coldplay and Phil Collins, who will be singing f...
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Funny story: Apple Labs put under a fatwa

Apple Labs put under a fatwa

With the release of their new devices, the iRaq multiple computer system and the iRan, the GPS enabled iTunes player for joggers, the Middle East is up in arms, and have issued a fatwa on the computing giants. "We feel Apple are taking the piss ou...
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Funny story: Asylum Seekers Monthly Editor E. Scape

Asylum Seekers Monthly Editor E. Scape

Welcome. Dis month, I am tellin you regardin de Mr Onikubu an hees entry into the England country. Mr. Onikubu, am comin from the Nigera an very sad he say he is criminal. when I am ask why, he say in England country, if fall off back of lorry, is criminal. He come here back of skip lorry, when it get to Dover, it tip him out, he really did fall off back of lorry! Poor Mr. Onikubu, he no...
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Funny story: Stella McCartney appointed creative director of Team GB Olympic outfits for 2012

Stella McCartney appointed creative director of Team GB Olympic outfits for 2012

"Designer Stella McCartney has been appointed creative director of Team GB's Olympic outfits for the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games." So reads the headline. Women athletes are 'thrilled to bits' at the news just out from ADIDAS. Many...
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Funny story: Mobile Phones cannot possibly work on trains

Mobile Phones cannot possibly work on trains

Fresh from proving that butterflies are incapable of flight due to their wind rigidity being far too low, Valdimar Procrastinov has turned his attention to mobile phones and trains, proving beyond doubt that mobile phones cannot work on a moving trai...
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Funny story: US senators blast BP for Lockerbie bomber fiasco, Raoul Moat, Derrick Bird, Stephen Griffiths and Cheryl Cole mosquito bite, etc

US senators blast BP for Lockerbie bomber fiasco, Raoul Moat, Derrick Bird, Stephen Griffiths and Cheryl Cole mosquito bite, etc

Washington AC/DC - (Crude News): "A rotten, putrid deal between the UK and the Libyan governments!" That's how four US senators have described smoke 'n' mirrors whorsetrading that secured the early release of the Lockerbie bomber. In a damning...
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Funny story: Republicans May Have Their Black Man to Run Against Obama in 2012

Republicans May Have Their Black Man to Run Against Obama in 2012

Republican leaders are finally getting hip to the jive as to what is going to help them gain momentum going into the 2012 elections. They are going to need to have a black man of their own to run up against Obama. Although some thought that Micha...
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Funny story: Russia keeps Anna

Russia keeps Anna

In a pitiful action Britain has given in to Russian pressure and stopped the beautiful spy Anna Chapman coming back to Britain. Her lover, Raoul Moat, knew she wasn't going to return and took his own life after being teased about it by heartless p...
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Funny story: Ethnic swapping the answer to BPs woes?

Ethnic swapping the answer to BPs woes?

A phone-in caller may have provided BP with the answer to its increasingly dire problems concerning the Gulf Spill or 'The Spulf' as it is fast becoming known among US citizens with a penchant for single syllable labels. The caller, known only as...
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Funny story: Radioman and Octopus Paul to star in remake of 20 000 Leagues Under The Sea

Radioman and Octopus Paul to star in remake of 20 000 Leagues Under The Sea

"Radioman - so called because he wears a large radio around his neck - is a cult figure thanks to his appearance in a string of movies. He has been photographed with hundreds of Hollywood stars and is on friendly terms with everyone from Russell Crow...
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Funny story: Letters To The Editor - From Fictional American TV Characters

Letters To The Editor - From Fictional American TV Characters

Sir, I was a rich TV star way back in the 1960's, and let me tell you, it weren't all that diff'rent to what them folks go through today. Why, even back then, I done had me a stalker. Her name wus Miz Hathaway, and she worked to the bank. And she was as pug ugly as a bloodhound with a spinnin' cactus plant stuck up his ass. Mostly had fun doin' it - but Ellie May would not gosh durn it put out.
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Funny story: Mashie Monster, Serial Killer, at Large in Saint Andrews

Mashie Monster, Serial Killer, at Large in Saint Andrews

Saint Andrews Golf Course, Scotland. The serial killer named the Mashie Monster attempted to claim another victim last night but was foiled when the sprinkler system came on and his prey, a night grounds keeper, escaped. The drenched Mashie Mons...
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Funny story: Ulrika Jonsson reveals how she got so skinny

Ulrika Jonsson reveals how she got so skinny

Ulrika Jonsson, Celebrity Big Brother winner, star of Shooting Stars, Swedish hottie and former lover of Sven Goren Erikson, is to reveal how she shed ten stone (sixty three kilos) in a new book due out in Autumn. Last year, Jonsson felt that she...
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Funny story: Tony Hayward Awarded Coveted Geologist of the Year Award

Tony Hayward Awarded Coveted Geologist of the Year Award

BP CEO, Tony Hayward has just been announced the winner of the Arthur L. Day Medal given by the Geological Society of America for what they claim is his outstanding contribution to bringing geology to the forefront of America's hearts and minds throu...
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Funny story: Meddlesome writes memoir: The Turd Man

Meddlesome writes memoir: The Turd Man

Once more a politician pours oil onto the burning facade of his own creation and cries out,'It wasn't my fault guv, it was his. Poor Gawd Blimey, he never realised the fundamental truth, your SCOTTISH man! Did you really think you could be P.M. fo...
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Funny story: Brock Kelly Is Dating Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas Is Green With Envy

Brock Kelly Is Dating Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas Is Green With Envy

BUFFALO, New York - Brock Kelly and Ashley Greene were in Buffalo visiting beautiful Niagara Falls and purchasing some nifty souvenirs for Ashley's 91-year-old grandmother Greta Greene. The couple have stated that they are in fact a couple and tha...
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Funny story: Letters To The Editor - From Fictional British TV Characters

Letters To The Editor - From Fictional British TV Characters

Sir Whatever happened to reflective shop windows? I used to have oodles of fun with them. I'd sort of position myself in a certain way, and then stretch out an arm and a leg, and the semi-reflection made it look as if I was a star shaped, levitating human person. Or something. You don't see them any more. Shame about that. It was really funny. Harry Worth, Wembley. Sir I for one don't...
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Funny story: SuBo Chooses Sally Cohn (SaCo) as Duet and Possible Life Partner

SuBo Chooses Sally Cohn (SaCo) as Duet and Possible Life Partner

Susan Boyle, aka SuBo is still scouting for a singing partner to record an album of duets with and many are certain that her most recent consideration may just be the one that sticks-a Yank by the name of Sally Cohn. Sally Cohn, soon to be dubbed...
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Funny story: After Ryan Seacrest Dumps Her Maricar The Dominatrix Has Now Moved In With Mel "The Aussie From Hell" Gibson

After Ryan Seacrest Dumps Her Maricar The Dominatrix Has Now Moved In With Mel "The Aussie From Hell" Gibson

HOLLYWOOD HILLS -Less than 24 hours after being dumped by American Idol's Ryan Seacrest, America's Got Talent's Maricar the whip-cracking dominatrix has moved in with Mel Gibson. A close friend of Mari Mari, as Ryan called her, said that Domi, as...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Stoat Population Explodes

Isle of Wight News - Stoat Population Explodes

Conservationist Ken Keeley reports that stoat sightings are up overall this year on the island which is positive news for tourists, many who plan their visit specifically to catch sight of the elusive creatures. Keeley says that this year is the p...
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