Funny story: Vacationing Iran scientist Shahram Amiri free to leave, says US: mixed signals from CIA and other tourguides confuse the issue

Vacationing Iran scientist Shahram Amiri free to leave, says US: mixed signals from CIA and other tourguides confuse the issue

The US insists that a missing Iranian nuclear scientist who has turned up in the country is there vacationing, the year delay caused by a wrong turn at the Universal Studios Tour, and is ready to leave. The state department rejected claims by Tehr...
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Funny story: Burka Ban Is Just The Start - Sarkozy

Burka Ban Is Just The Start - Sarkozy

President Nicolas "Au Naturelle" Sarkozy has won the first step in a year-long plan to make clothes illegal for women. On a day of confusion in France's lower house of parliament, members overwhelmingly approved a bill that would ban wearing the I...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Eating Bugs But Doing Better

Amy Winehouse Eating Bugs But Doing Better

Amy Winehouse's ex-backing dancer Heshima Thompson, a personal friend of Amy's, says people are still in love the Rehab star. Asked for the latest on Amy, who has suffered a string of health problems after battling drugs, the actor said: "I feel t...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Lady Gardeners

Isle of Wight News - Lady Gardeners

The following is an advertisement Lady Gardeners Lady Gardeners understand that women who live alone sometimes prefer if their hired help are not men, and our team of extra friendly women are on call seven days a week to visit where you need us most. Lady Gardeners can visit you in your home at your convenience, we offer the highest service and understand your needs and how to achieve your...
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Funny story: Ryan Seacrest Dumps The Dominatrix And Takes Up With Julianne Hough The Sweetheart of Dancing With The Stars

Ryan Seacrest Dumps The Dominatrix And Takes Up With Julianne Hough The Sweetheart of Dancing With The Stars

ITALIAN RIVIERA - The host of American Idol Ryan Seacrest has just admitted that yes it is true that he has dumped his girlfriend America's Got Talent's whip-cracking dominatrix Maricar and taken up with Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough. Sea...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Spotted In Japan

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Spotted In Japan

Japanese fans find Pattinson and Stewart. You can run but you cannot hide. Realizing this, they had a prepared statement sent to all their Japanese fans and also sent to reporters. The statement is as follows: "This is Robert Pattinson. Kristen...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Has Another Racist Rant

Mel Gibson Has Another Racist Rant

Mel Gibson has let himself down again. Whilst out shopping in his towns mall, he got into and altercation with the local Klu Klux Klan. Instead of walking away, he went into meltdown and raged at these innocent law abiding citizens. Klan Stewar...
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Funny story: Iran Offers To Stone Mel Gibson's Ho If He Converts To Islam

Iran Offers To Stone Mel Gibson's Ho If He Converts To Islam

Dateline Tehran: Mahmoud Ahmadinajab today volunteered the services of his professional stoners to Mel Gibson if he converted to Islam. Gibson, an ultra-conservative Catholic, has recently been making headlines for his screaming diatribes directed...
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Funny story: The Longer Wait

The Longer Wait

The wait was supposed to be over for local waiting man Seaton Carew last Friday when he had to wait a short wait hoping to be told his fate. The fate for which he had to wait for so long. But instead he spent the morning waiting. He woke before the alarm and then waited for the alarm to sound. As always, he pressed the snooze button and waited again for the alarm. Once it had buzzed for a...
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Funny story: Another waste of taxpayers hard-earned money

Another waste of taxpayers hard-earned money

Councils spent more than £160 million on paperwork and legal preparation for school rebuilding projects that were cancelled by Education Secretary Michael Gove, new figures have shown. News just out! What waste of time and money. It is hoped...
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Funny story: Roni's & Roonies baby's photographed "dribbling" (a long lost skill!)

Roni's & Roonies baby's photographed "dribbling" (a long lost skill!)

Proud Dad's Rooney and Roni are on holiday after the stresses, trials and tribulations of playing anti-football in South Africa. As usual the paparazzi are following their every movements and their partners are quite happy to oblige. A bikini f...
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Funny story: After It Is All Said and Done, Mel Gibson May End Up Working As a Wal-Mart Greeter In Des Moines, Iowa

After It Is All Said and Done, Mel Gibson May End Up Working As a Wal-Mart Greeter In Des Moines, Iowa

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Mel "The Self-Destructing Old Fogey" Gibson has shown the world that he is about as nice a person as Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, Adolf Hitler, and Raoul Moat all put together. Gibson, aka "The Bossy Aussie" has uttered the "F" word,...
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Funny story: Hell Hath a New Underboss: George Steinbrenner Dies

Hell Hath a New Underboss: George Steinbrenner Dies

Contrary to all indications, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner does have a heart, which was proven today when it exploded like a hand-grenade in his chest, killing the 80 year-old. A representative for the Steinbrenner family has released a statem...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Plays the Race Card at NAACP Convention, Further Divides Nation!

Michelle Obama Plays the Race Card at NAACP Convention, Further Divides Nation!

Barry forgot to tell Michelle to say on point during her recent fiery address to the NAACP where she urged members to intensify their efforts to put pressure on government to grant more entitlements and encouraged more felons to get out and vote.
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Funny story: Mutya Buena 'Slams' Heidi Range

Mutya Buena 'Slams' Heidi Range

Mutya Buena has slammed her former Sugababes bandmate Heidi Range, claiming she has "killed off the group". In an interview with Loose Women, Buena said "I don't have anything to do with her at all. I stand by what I said at the time Keisha left.
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Funny story: The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

HM Probation Service, London: As part of attempts to keep down the cost of the criminal justice system, the probation watchdog has suggested that Murders and other serious crimes committed by prisoners such as Raoul Moat, released early from jail, m...
View 'The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public'
Funny story: Nelson Mandela to play Morgan Freeman in new film

Nelson Mandela to play Morgan Freeman in new film

Long time prisoner Morgan Freeman has said he is delighted that penpal Nelson Mandela will play him in a new Spielberg blockbuster Hollywood film. Speaking from his maximum security prison cell Freeman said "I'm delighted" Morgan Freeman best kno...
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Funny story: Anti-Semitic malcontent swamp trash, Mel Gibson thrashed in garish outback goulash bush tucker backlash

Anti-Semitic malcontent swamp trash, Mel Gibson thrashed in garish outback goulash bush tucker backlash

Police have said they are evaluating claims that Hollywood star Mel Gibson shouted at Oksana Grigorieva, his ex-girlfriend, and threw his dinner at her, that she had just moments earlier prepared for him while on a camping trip in the wilds of Austra...
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Funny story: Average age will soon be 100

Average age will soon be 100

Great scientific advances will be heralding in a time when 100 is the average age. The Queen is worried she will have to send so many messages of congratulation that she will run out of paper and Prince Charles, becoming frustrated at waiting so long...
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Funny story: FDA Bans Sale Of Cereal Variety Packs

FDA Bans Sale Of Cereal Variety Packs

The US Food and Drug Administration, taking the unprecedented step of barring the manufacture and sale of a perfectly legal product, has banned the manufacture, sale or use of cereal variety packs. " 'Big Cereal' has taken advantage of moms, value...
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Funny story: Lineker To Be Replaced by Octopus

Lineker To Be Replaced by Octopus

The BBC today announced major changes to it's Match of the Day programme next season. The flagship show shown on Saturday nights will have a new pundit presenting it with the news that Paul the German octopus fresh from his success at predicting resu...
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Funny story: Drunken Australian bronco rider rides 5m croc and then legged it on one!

Drunken Australian bronco rider rides 5m croc and then legged it on one!

Totally plastered and banned from the boozer, an Australian wannabee Crocodile Dundee attempted painfully to bronco ride a 5m large saltwater croc. He wanted to break it in because that's what brave drunken Australian idiots do. The croc, sligh...
View 'Drunken Australian bronco rider rides 5m croc and then legged it on one!'
Funny story: Police train for alternative employment

Police train for alternative employment

Police are preparing for inevitable cutbacks in the force by developing skills whilst still serving. The latest idea is to become skilled gardeners and they are digging gardens to practice for this valuable task. 'You never know, we might find...
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Funny story: Immigrant steals British man's job at knifepoint

Immigrant steals British man's job at knifepoint

The police have launched an extensive nationwide manhunt for the man they believe responsible for stealing a British man's job at knife point. A Scotland Yard spokesman said; "Kinfe crime is one thing but to steal a man's livelihood is beyond evil. W...
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Funny story: Jimmy Savile Implicated In Nigeria World Cup Match-fixing Scandal

Jimmy Savile Implicated In Nigeria World Cup Match-fixing Scandal

World football's governing body, FIFA, are this morning following a new line of enquiry into the Nigeria World Cup match-fixing scandal by interviewing the pioneering former Radio 1 DJ and TV presenter Jimmy Savile OBE. Savile, real name Sir James...
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Funny story: Sinkhole the Size of Tennessee Threatens to Cut Florida in Half

Sinkhole the Size of Tennessee Threatens to Cut Florida in Half

Tampa, FL - Mildred and Juan Scoleri were outdoors on their patio surveying the excavation work that the pool company had just finished before laying the foundation for the pool they've been saving for ever since Juan was still working three janitor...
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Funny story: Fern Britton Rampage Story 'Simply Not True'

Fern Britton Rampage Story 'Simply Not True'

A story reporting that the former TV show host Fern Britton had 'gone on the rampage', is not true it has emerged. The story, written by satirist Daryl Beech, was investigated and found to contain 'not a grain of truth'. Beech has been warned of h...
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Funny story: George Steinbrenner Names Billy Martin as Manager of Team Made in Heaven

George Steinbrenner Names Billy Martin as Manager of Team Made in Heaven

George Steinbrenner, contentious owner of the New York Yankees baseball team, was back arguing with Billy Martin, the manger he loved to hate, in heaven today. Steinbrenner's late arrival at the pearly gates was announced by Bob Sheppard, 99, lon...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Newby is on the map at last

Isle of Wight News - Newby is on the map at last

Newby, Isle of Wight, is most definitely on the map at last. Residents of this small village gathered in the Community Centre last evening, bringing all maps they possessed which had The Isle of Wight showing. As requested by the village counci...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Says That Several Weeks After Attending The World Cup Soccer Games He Can Still Hear Those Darn Vuvuzelas

Justin Bieber Says That Several Weeks After Attending The World Cup Soccer Games He Can Still Hear Those Darn Vuvuzelas

GULFPORT, Mississippi - Justin Bieber had just finished performing before a standing room only crowd and Gulfport's Cotton Plantation Coliseum when he was asked about his trip to South Africa to attend the World Cup Soccer Finals. Bieber said that...
View 'Justin Bieber Says That Several Weeks After Attending The World Cup Soccer Games He Can Still Hear Those Darn Vuvuzelas'
Funny story: UK House prices: Surveyors lay blame on Ginger bird from Scissor Sisters

UK House prices: Surveyors lay blame on Ginger bird from Scissor Sisters

Surveyors are expecting house prices to fall in the coming months due to Ana Matronic of Scissor Sisters fame. Research commissioned for Andrews Estate Agents in Burnley showed a distinct link between Matronic's activity and the sale of terraced h...
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Funny story: Toys Rn't Us - Shops take advantage of new sex ed plans

Toys Rn't Us - Shops take advantage of new sex ed plans

Following news that the government plan to introduce sexual education to children aged 8, one toy shop has decided to cash in with their own brand of dildos. A representative of the popular toy shop stated: "The new dildo range is purely for edu...
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Funny story: Swimming Pools Set To Close For Ramadan

Swimming Pools Set To Close For Ramadan

A local council has announced moves to close ALL swimming pools for the duration of the Islamic tradition of fasting during Ramadan. Council leader Duncan Goodhugh said "There is a very real danger that ravenous Muslims will imbibe chlorinated wat...
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Funny story: Descendent of Paul Revere Declares, 'The British Keep Coming!'

Descendent of Paul Revere Declares, 'The British Keep Coming!'

Thomas Jefferson George Revere, widely known but not necessarily respected for being the great, great, great, great grandson of noted Revolutionary War figure Paul Revere, continues to warn residents of Boston proper about the never ending invasion o...
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Funny story: 'Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine

'Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine

Northumbria - (RIP Mess): The effigy of Northumbria's temporary police boss bears an uncanny resemblance to the red cloaked alien from the 1996 comic science fiction movie. "Except for the green eye shadow, of course," Rothbury local Mavis Clutch...
View ''Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine'
Funny story: Mel Gibson & Charlie Sheen Claim Latest Homicidal Rants Attributed to "Getting in Character" for Next Movie Role!

Mel Gibson & Charlie Sheen Claim Latest Homicidal Rants Attributed to "Getting in Character" for Next Movie Role!

Attorneys for embattled Follywood actors Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen have proposed a new and unique defense psychiatrists have dubbed "breathtaking" in the aftermath of death threats to their wives and lovers! Both actors are now claiming the rec...
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Funny story: Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Stephen King Novel Breaks All Sales Records!

Sales of Nolnt, the new novel from master of horror, Stephen King, have broken all records in Middlesbrough, from where the writer hails, with two copies even having been purchased in nearby Redcar. The novel, written entirely in Teesside Fonetix,...
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Funny story: Ethnic minority numbers to rise to 20% due to breeding, whitey is dying off.

Ethnic minority numbers to rise to 20% due to breeding, whitey is dying off.

Ethnic minorities are set to make up a fifth of the population a University study predicts. It says the proportion of ethnic minorities will rise from 8% of the population to 20% by 2051 because the naughty foreign sexpots cant keep their pants on...
View 'Ethnic minority numbers to rise to 20% due to breeding, whitey is dying off.'
Funny story: Larry King: "I'll Step Down, Just As Soon As...'

Larry King: "I'll Step Down, Just As Soon As...'

Larry King: "I'll step down, just as soon as someone tells me if this dress makes me look fat." Larry King, who has hosted Larry King Live since the fall of the Roman Empire, has moved up the timetable for his retirement, and sources say that it i...
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Funny story: Woman humiliated online for cold hard cash

Woman humiliated online for cold hard cash

The international fraud reporting centre has revealed it was contacted by more than 15,000 people who said they had been victims of scams in the first six months of this year. One woman tells how she was duped. Rhonda Porker is an unlikely victim...
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Funny story: Katie Price to "sell own faeces."

Katie Price to "sell own faeces."

Katie Price - aka Jordan - earlier announced plans to bottle and sell her own waste products. "It just made sense," she told assembled journalists and perverts. "Every other aspect of my life is a financial commodity, so I figured - why not my sh...
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Funny story: Katie Price Marriage In Turmoil Already - Nobody Gives A Feck

Katie Price Marriage In Turmoil Already - Nobody Gives A Feck

Sources inform us that Katie Price has announced that she is becoming increasingly dissatisfied with her matrimonial status with cage building cross fighter Alex Reid. But nobody gives a flying feck. Media insiders inform us that newspaper edit...
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Funny story: Jesus Christ: The Final Interview... (Part 2)

Jesus Christ: The Final Interview... (Part 2)

Jesus Christ: The Final Interview... (Part 2) Q: Do you regularly smite people? A: Every once in a while. I dusted off the whole Malaria thing for Cheryl Cole. She annoys me. Normally, the whole free-will thing kinda doesn't work if we're throwing lightning bolts at people every time they screw up. It is a person's sense of right and wrong that keeps people straight. Q: Ok,here's goes...
View 'Jesus Christ: The Final Interview... (Part 2)'
Funny story: Followmeontwitter the most popular baby name of 2010

Followmeontwitter the most popular baby name of 2010

The name Followmeontwitter has jumped 214% for baby girls and 195% for baby boys since 2009, putting it in the top ten names for both genders in the year 2010. Statisticians are thrilled to see such an unusual name make such a large jump in populari...
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Funny story: As The Raoul Moat Tributes Pour In - PC David Rathband Faces Fight To Save His Sight

As The Raoul Moat Tributes Pour In - PC David Rathband Faces Fight To Save His Sight

As the Raoul Moat inquest opens today, and as the tributes and sympathy messages pour in, some commentators have requested to the news media that amidst all the recriminations, accusations, and outpourings of grief for the unfortunate gunman that per...
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Funny story: Jesse Jackson In Stupidity Rehab After Remarks Concerning LeBron James

Jesse Jackson In Stupidity Rehab After Remarks Concerning LeBron James

Rev. Jesse Jackson, the oft-arrested, misspeaking civil rights activist and Baptist minister, has been for check into stupidity rehab, after blasting Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, comparing him to a "slave master." Sources state that a Lo...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva star in 'What Women Don't Want'

Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva star in 'What Women Don't Want'

HOLLYWOOD, California - Mel Gibson has had a bad year, and What Women Don't Want isn't going to make it any better, according to this reviewer. The romantic tragedy, set in modern day Malibu Hills, seems atypical at first glance -- from Brave Hea...
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Funny story: Puerto Rico Will Soon Occupy Arizona, As Per President Obama's Presidential Directive, and It Will Be Renamed New Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico Will Soon Occupy Arizona, As Per President Obama's Presidential Directive, and It Will Be Renamed New Puerto Rico

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - The people of Puerto Rico have held an election and overwhelmingly agreed to take the place of Arizona, once President Obama disqualifies it from being a state. President Obama has spoken to Puerto Rican Governor Luis "Loui...
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Funny story: Rupert Murdoch Buys Rush Limbaugh's Penthouse Condo as Love Nest

Rupert Murdoch Buys Rush Limbaugh's Penthouse Condo as Love Nest

New York, NY - Rupert Murdoch has had his eye on Rush Limbaugh's penthouse condo in NY ever since he found out it had murals of naked ladies on the ceilings and fully-mirrored bathrooms, not to mention a disco ball that retracted from the ceiling eve...
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Funny story: The Miley Cyrus - Taylor Momsen Teen Feud Is Getting Downright Nasty!

The Miley Cyrus - Taylor Momsen Teen Feud Is Getting Downright Nasty!

HOLLYWOOD - Two teen stars are going at each other as if they were a couple of has been wrestlers trying to stir up interest in their 'over-the-hill' careers. "Gossip Girl" Taylor Momsen 16, fired the first salvo at Miley "The Lap Dancer" Cyrus, w...
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Funny story: Al Qaeda Will Open Up Its First American Branch Office In Phoenix, Arizona

Al Qaeda Will Open Up Its First American Branch Office In Phoenix, Arizona

KABUL, Afghanistan - Osama Bin Laden, CEO of the radical sunni muslim organization has stated that he plans on opening up the very first Al Qaeda business office in the United States in Phoenix, Arizona. Bin Laden, says that after conferring with...
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Funny story: BP CEO Searches For Solution to Gulf Leak by Examining Woman's Tonsils in Texas Bar

BP CEO Searches For Solution to Gulf Leak by Examining Woman's Tonsils in Texas Bar

British Profiteering (BP) has spared no expense in trying to find a way to stave the damage caused when they turned the Gulf Of Mexico into a petroleum vinaigrette, and the research goes all the way up CEO Tony Wayward. In fact, Wayward spent a b...
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Funny story: BP have at last figured it out

BP have at last figured it out

BP have at last figured out how to cap the oil spill. Mud and cement! So bloody easy, a 4th grader could have figured it out, and indeed, DID. There has been a worldwide competition going on, underneath the mainstream news bulletins.....school-chi...
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Funny story: Pet Wabbit 'Liberated' By Animal Rights Knobheads

Pet Wabbit 'Liberated' By Animal Rights Knobheads

Little Jemimah Fuddlepuck of West Wittering was inconsolable this morning following the 'liberation' of her pet rabbit 'Willy Bonka' by animal rights activists. Jemimah went out into the back garden to give the rabbit some oats only to find the hu...
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Funny story: Raoul Moat Tributes Flood In

Raoul Moat Tributes Flood In

Tributes have been flooding in praising deceased gunman Raoul Moat, who died in controversial circumstances in the early hours of Saturday morning following a tense stand-off with armed police officers in Rothbury. One website recorded some 18,000...
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Funny story: Switzerland Thumbs Its Nose At America and Releases Roman Polanski - The U.S. Plans To Invade Switzerland

Switzerland Thumbs Its Nose At America and Releases Roman Polanski - The U.S. Plans To Invade Switzerland

ZURICH - Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, which is Swiss for chickensh*t, has announced that she has decided not to extradite child molester Roman Polanski to America, and to grant him his full freedom instead. Widner-Chump stated t...
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Funny story: Sex Pest Paedophiles Offered 'Safe Haven' In Switzerland

Sex Pest Paedophiles Offered 'Safe Haven' In Switzerland

Travel agents in the UK and US were this morning reporting a massive increase in the number of enquiries from paedophiles who wished to visit Switzerland, after the country announced that it had offered a 'safe haven' to sexual deviants who have expr...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Hanging Basket Vandalised On Ryde Esplanade

Isle Of Wight News - Hanging Basket Vandalised On Ryde Esplanade

Ryde - Isle Of Wight - Police detective and one-time pirate, Doctor Victor Nicholas, along with his trusty sidekick, Inspector Morse, today revealed that they were conducting exhaustive investigations into an incident in which a hanging basket was va...
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