Funny story: David Garrard named "Athlete of the Year" by Crohn's Disease Monthly

David Garrard named "Athlete of the Year" by Crohn's Disease Monthly

JACKSONVILLE, FL-Though his team will be watching the playoffs at home, Jaguars quarterback David Garrard was able to enter the off-season with his head held high, capturing Crohn's Disease Monthly's coveted "Athlete of the Year" honor for a record f...
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Funny story: President Cuckolded on Christmas Eve

President Cuckolded on Christmas Eve

Maui, Hawaii -- President Barack Obama returned last Christmas Eve from an arduous and disappointing day on the Powder Beach Golf Course to his secluded twenty-room villa in Kailua Town, only to find that Tiger Woods was scoring a hole-in-one with hi...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Finds An Image of Simon Cowell On Her English Muffin

Cheryl Cole Finds An Image of Simon Cowell On Her English Muffin

LONDON - Over the years people have claimed to have seen all kinds of images of famous people on various food items. There have been reports of individuals finding images of the Virgin Mary on Hostess Twinkies, Joan of Arc on a corn flake, and Br...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, And Amy Winehouse To Perform On 47-City U.S. - U.K. Tour

Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, And Amy Winehouse To Perform On 47-City U.S. - U.K. Tour

LOS ANGELES - The On The Road Again Concert Promoters Agency of Pasadena, California has just informed the music media that Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Amy Winehouse have all agreed to a 47-city concert tour of the United States and the United Kin...
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Funny story: JK Rowling 'most entertaining KGB hoax of the decade'

JK Rowling 'most entertaining KGB hoax of the decade'

London - (Philosphers Stoned): Serial children's fiction plagiarist JK Rowling has been named the most entertaining security intelligence diversion of the decade according to a Pole in today's Daily Broadshiite. A Mr Lech Walesa II is quoted as sa...
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Funny story: Gang Kills People For Their Fat!

Gang Kills People For Their Fat!

A gang has been arrested overseas that have been charged with harvesting the body fat of human beings and selling them for cosmetics. Police told UP2 that the gang used the jungle there to hide out after kidnapping fat people who are never seen again...
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Funny story: X-Factor Winner Joe McElderry To Record A Duet With Sir Paul McCartney

X-Factor Winner Joe McElderry To Record A Duet With Sir Paul McCartney

LIVERPOOL, England - Joe McElderry was in Liverpool visiting his maternal grandmother Effie Chipinham when he received a phone call asking him what he thought about Paul McCartney saying that he wanted to record a song with him. Joe appeared stunn...
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Funny story: Ferguson Fumes at the Fu*+!ng Ref

Ferguson Fumes at the Fu*+!ng Ref

Manchester United supremo Sir Alex Ferguson was left fuming at the referee following his team's shock exit in the FA Cup to one time rivals Leeds United. Five minutes additional time was awarded by the fourth official, but Ferguson fumed "there sh...
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Funny story: "Operation Send in the Clowns" aims to win hearts, scare crap out of Afghans

"Operation Send in the Clowns" aims to win hearts, scare crap out of Afghans

Kabul, Afghanistan - US Military Forces have announced a new phase of the surge strategy in Afghanistan, code named "Send in the Clowns". Under this strategy the US will send the 32nd Clown Expeditionary Force into the country to win the hearts of Af...
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Funny story: Dallas Cheerleaders Will Now Be Wearing Bikini Thongs Instead of Short Shorts

Dallas Cheerleaders Will Now Be Wearing Bikini Thongs Instead of Short Shorts

DALLAS - It has been announced that due to the thousands of emails, text messages, and phone calls that he has been receiving lately, a top football team decided to drop the cheerleaders standard white short shorts and replace them with white bikini...
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Funny story: Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.

Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weeke...
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Funny story: 'Back In The USA' by The Beatles rereleased

'Back In The USA' by The Beatles rereleased

As the USA is a gift to the world's satirists, The Beatles today rereleased their 'White Album' song 'Back In The USA': 'Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC Didn't get to sleep last night On the way I kept an eye on my neighbours' bags Man, I had a chicken shit flight I'm back in the USA You don't now how childish you are, folks Back in the USA Been away so long I almost grew up Gee, it's...
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Funny story: Leeds Utd stuff Man Utd and "Fergy" cries all the way home, even his Rolex stopped!

Leeds Utd stuff Man Utd and "Fergy" cries all the way home, even his Rolex stopped!

Sir Alex Ferguson was inconsolable as he burst out of Old Trafford in a rage after losing in the FA Cup to lowly Leeds Utd today. He kicked the cleaning lady, Roonie's Ferrari, threw a thermos flask at the groundsman, binned his golden Rolex, stuc...
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Funny story: William Shatner Arrested By Bathroom Police

William Shatner Arrested By Bathroom Police

Popular actor William Shatner was arrested on two charges this morning at the Los Angeles Airport by the Bathroom Police after spending more than 45 minutes in there. "The Governor, Mr. Schwarzenegger, told us to arrest anybody who stayed in the b...
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Funny story: Reality Town, Twilight Series In The Works

Reality Town, Twilight Series In The Works

Reality TV producers are planning a new series based on the Washington state town where the Twilight films are set, according to a tip received by two of our UP2 reporters. We checked some recent bits and it appears to be true and is already in the p...
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Funny story: London Bridge is Falling Down

London Bridge is Falling Down

Unconfirmed reports have predicted the collapse of one of London's most legendary constructions. Groups of local human children have been spreading rumours about the imminent destruction of London Bridge. "London Bridge is falling down, Falli...
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Funny story: Health and Smafety

Health and Smafety

Shock has spread to the streets of Wales today after last nights tragic events leading to the death of Dolly the hooker. The tragedy unfolded when Dolly's client requested her to put a condom on with her mouth, a trick she well famed for amongst the...
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Funny story: Erroneous Fusion

Erroneous Fusion

In rural areas, sex education is free of charge; boys and girls learn all they need to know about sex before they walk. For instance, in horse-breeding farms, the excitement reaches a climax when a clumsy stallion misses the orifice and desperately needs a Homo sapiens' hand. The thrill reaches its height when a female worker is asked to grip the male organ like a jet black baseball bat to facilit...
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Funny story: Frosty The Snowman Lives Longer

Frosty The Snowman Lives Longer

Frosty the Snowman is living longer this year because of all the frost and snow in various parts of the world which has been lying longer this year due to the very long cold spell we have been having. "Every year in winter time I am regenerated li...
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Funny story: Global Warming Hits The UK!

Global Warming Hits The UK!

Forecasters Warn Of A Freezing January - Britain's freezing Arctic weather is expected to continue well into January, forecasters have warned. Temperatures are not likely to get much above 0C across many areas of the country over the next 10 days...
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Funny story: Planet X seen on Xmas day

Planet X seen on Xmas day

A whistleblower at NASA claims that they have discovered planet X or Nibiru and have calculated that it is heading our way. Scientists at NASA claim that Planet X showed up clearly on Xmas day on various powerful telescopes throughout the World bu...
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Funny story: Fans Angry Foreign Student Athletes Just Coming to Campus to Learn

Fans Angry Foreign Student Athletes Just Coming to Campus to Learn

Indianapolis, Indiana- The NCAA is facing criticism from college sports fans that foreign student athletes are coming to American college's primarily to get an education they couldn't afford otherwise. A recent NCAA survey found that most foreign stu...
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Funny story: One Kansas Farmer Feeds 126 People, But are They a Wise Holiday Meal?

One Kansas Farmer Feeds 126 People, But are They a Wise Holiday Meal?

Samhain, KS - As recently reported in the Kansas Anthropophagi Home Journal, December issue, it appears Kansas farmers were a holiday dinner favorite for many Sunflower Stater again this year. Possibly attracted to the abundant white meat, those extr...
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Funny story: New Game Wii Handyman Introduced

New Game Wii Handyman Introduced

Fresh off the success of the Wii Fit which simulates sports such as snow boarding, ski jumping and kitten chasing based on an interactive stand-on platform, Wii Handyman is the latest offering on the cards at next months Asia-Pacific technology fair.
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Funny story: First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive Opening Soon

First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive Opening Soon

Beverly Hills - (Upstream Gal!): The reclusive billionaire couple who own 85% of Chevron Corp and 72% of ExxonMobil are relocating their sovereign hydrocarbons fund to a new Rodeo Drive shopfront. First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive will be c...
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