Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden (OBL) was allegedly seen over the weekend on a security video at an International Airport. Security officials refuse to comment but confirms it is investigating OBL sightings on Sunday. According to the CIA, the tipoff came in the...
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Funny story: Black & White Minstrels to Reform

Black & White Minstrels to Reform

Old TV variety favourite The Black and White Minstrel Show ought to be revived, claimed an academic yesterday. 'Sometimes you have to look back to move ahead', insisted Liam Twatte, the Noel Edmonds Professor of Idiocy at the University of Whitsta...
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Funny story: Huge Wave Sweeps Across The UK

Huge Wave Sweeps Across The UK

A huge wave of apathy has swept across most of Britain today. It started in the early hours this morning when James Deakins of Hastings couldn't be arsed to get up for work. The wave quickly swept across southern Britain with a million people thro...
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Funny story: "All Aboard...."

"All Aboard...."

The Buffet Car became suddenly empty. Bargis lept off his stool and made a rapid exit. Even Father Fergus had moved away from the bar. Morse was puzzled. "That priest looks like he was practically born at the bar. Why has he moved? And why am I talking to myself?" Just then it hit him. The smell! It was the worst he had ever encountered. What on earth was it? "Pardon me, is this seat free?" A r...
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Funny story: The Beatles Actually Were Bigger Than Jesus

The Beatles Actually Were Bigger Than Jesus

When John Lennon claimed that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, everyone laughed. But it has now been confirmed that the stupid scouse twat was telling the truth: the Beatles were actually bigger than Christianity's favourite bearded son. Usi...
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Funny story: Boy Born In The Shape Of Leighton Buzzard

Boy Born In The Shape Of Leighton Buzzard

Doctors in Truro have announced that a baby boy born in the Cornish town's hospital, is shaped like Leighton Buzzard, in Bedfordshire. The baby boy, named Derek Almaston, by his parents Dave and Alan Spinks is said to already be running the Bedfo...
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Funny story: The Queen "To Go Nude" For 2011 Calendar

The Queen "To Go Nude" For 2011 Calendar

The Private Secretary to the Queen has confirmed reports that the Queen Elizabeth has agreed to go nude for the 2011 Royal Family calendar. The Queen's secretary also said that the shoot will be tastefully done, although no specifics were revealed...
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Funny story: Serena Williams wears no knickers at Aussie Open, her bum flashed all over the world causing a male heart-attack pandemic!

Serena Williams wears no knickers at Aussie Open, her bum flashed all over the world causing a male heart-attack pandemic!

Serena Williams, pretty good tennis player and wearer of flashy tennis wear has really shocked the world this time out! Down-under is not "DOWN-UNDER" any more, Serena has flashed it all. Every time she received, bent over, grunted, smashed, se...
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Funny story: S.O.S. Messages From Around the US Arrive On Obama's Doorstep Commenting on his Policy To Bankrupt America!

S.O.S. Messages From Around the US Arrive On Obama's Doorstep Commenting on his Policy To Bankrupt America!

Distressed citizens responded today to Obama's continued assault on the economic well being of the country, by sending thousands of personal S.O.S. messages back to the door step of the Out of Touch President. Obama, busy crafting a new give awa...
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Funny story: Johnny Come Lately Came Early

Johnny Come Lately Came Early

Local man, Johnny DeLaid, who has the unenviable reputation for being late for everything, shocked dinner party hosts Bert and Ivy Gladioli by showing up three hours early. Too polite to tell Johnny to come back later, the suburban couple invited...
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Funny story: Chemical Ali executed and has joined Saddam in "The Great One's" heaven"!

Chemical Ali executed and has joined Saddam in "The Great One's" heaven"!

Chemical Ali has been put to sleep swinging and has joined his infamous cousin Saddam at the side of "The Great One". He was actually welcomed into heaven by "The Great One" personally and other Martyr's of the Islamic faith including Khomeni.
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Funny story: The Saints Beat The Vikings 31-28: Brett Favre Retires One More Time

The Saints Beat The Vikings 31-28: Brett Favre Retires One More Time

NEW ORLEANS - In a game that went back and forth more than Kirstie Alley and an ice cream shop, the Saints (once the Ain'ts) pulled it out 31-28 on a field goal by their 16-year-old kicker. As he watched the ball sail through the uprights one coul...
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Funny story: Motel Hiring Human Bed Warmers

Motel Hiring Human Bed Warmers

International hotel chain Motel Fourteen (it's twice as good as Motel Seven) is offering a trial human bed-warming service at four hotels in Britain this month. Upon request, a willing staff-member, and all are guaranteed to sport huge staffs memb...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Eliminates Executive and Legislative Branches Of Government Appoints Goldman Sachs

Supreme Court Eliminates Executive and Legislative Branches Of Government Appoints Goldman Sachs

In a decision that is sure to change The United States of America for all time, the Supreme Court announced that it is eliminating the executive and legislative branches of government and is appointing Goldman Sachs to replace them. In a five to...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Visit South Coast Satirist Skoob En Route To IOW

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Visit South Coast Satirist Skoob En Route To IOW

A big surprise today for the UK's south coast satirist (?) Skoob, when Twilight teen idols, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart - now confirmed as a romantic item - dropped in at his humble abode for a cup of tea, en route to a househunting trip to...
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Funny story: Mars, Roman God of War, Opposes The Sun As Blair Takes Chilcot Inquiry Stand

Mars, Roman God of War, Opposes The Sun As Blair Takes Chilcot Inquiry Stand

London - (Illuminati Mess): It's billed as astrology's Clash of the Titans as the stars align for Friday's apocalyptic Mars-opposition-Sun setting at the Chilcot Inquiry. With the fiery Roman god of war at 10 degrees Leo - celestial sign of majest...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Says She's Trying To Decide Between Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas

Selena Gomez Says She's Trying To Decide Between Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas

LAKE PLACID, New York - Selena Gomez was in town to perform at the newly painted Adirondack Mountains Convention Center on the last leg of her Selena "Go-Go" Gomez East Coast Snow White Winterized and Glamorized Tons of Snow Tour. She was asked ho...
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Funny story: Calais - Now A London Suburb

Calais - Now A London Suburb

Outrage in London this afternoon as the French port of Calais trumpeted a marketing ploy aimed at the 2012 Olympic Games and naming itself as an ideal base for Olympic spectators and competitors during the games. Mayor of Calais, David Dubonnet, t...
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Funny story: Lily Allen Wins Great Britain's Title of "Miss Cellulite Thighs"

Lily Allen Wins Great Britain's Title of "Miss Cellulite Thighs"

NOTTINGHAM, England - Electropop singer Lily Allen has just been named Great Britain's "Miss Cellulite Thighs." Ms. Allen, who is only 24, literally ran away with the title receiving a total of 98 out of a possible 100 points. The second place...
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Funny story: Acceptance of "Spartacus" by BBC Clears Way for New Naked Drama "Life at Moorview' to be Screened!

Acceptance of "Spartacus" by BBC Clears Way for New Naked Drama "Life at Moorview' to be Screened!

The BBC announced today they would be screening the raw episodes of the latest US Tits & Arse soft porn series, 'Spartacus' under the guise of 'Historical Validation', a decision which had an immediate effect in convincing Spoof Writers to adopt...
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Funny story: Frank Miller: NOT the fake hero of Mumbai!

Frank Miller: NOT the fake hero of Mumbai!

A rebuttal of claims of fakeness by Frank Miller. I'd like to put to rest the rumors negating my heroic deeds during the Mumbai terrorist attacks last year. During the ordeal, I rescued over 250 people by making rope (allowing them to climb to safety) made from spunk; spun to make silk. It makes remarkably strong rope when woven together. That's no easy trick! Do you know how much wankin...
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Funny story: Dr David Kelly 'went to meet his dealer', bumped into David Cameron!

Dr David Kelly 'went to meet his dealer', bumped into David Cameron!

London - (Illuminati Mess): Secret analysis of mobile phone records has thrown up a shocker in the latest unravelling of the Iraq WMD weapons inspector's 2003 mystery death. Apparently Mossad sources had been bugging the MoD scientist's link to lo...
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Funny story: Spencer Pratt On Heidi Montag

Spencer Pratt On Heidi Montag

Although he may have objected to wife, Heidi Montag's last nine plastic surgeries, Spencer Pratt says that when it comes down to it, she always does as she wishes. "I've been against the last nine", Spencer told UP2 ass reporter, Dan Hilliard. Kis...
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Funny story: Social Networking 'Suicides' On The Increase

Social Networking 'Suicides' On The Increase

Social networking sites - a great idea, with limitless potential for users to make virtual "friends" from all over the world, with whom to exchange chit-chat, gossip, and mutual entertainment. But apparently all is not well in the garden of twatte...
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Funny story: Bristol Palin Sues Levi For Child Support

Bristol Palin Sues Levi For Child Support

Apparently during all the news about Sarah Palin giving up her governorship of Alaska and writing a bestseller and helping to raise grandson, Tripp, someone forgot to tell Tripp's father that he owes child support. Levi Johnston, who has just fini...
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Funny story: Brangelinaton: Jenn & Angie Agree on Custody of Brad's Joint!

Brangelinaton: Jenn & Angie Agree on Custody of Brad's Joint!

Despite tabloid accounts to the contrary, "It ain't over yet" according to a lawyer for the Fetching Three Some of Angelina, Brad, and Jennifer! Apparently the third person in bed during the 6 year liaison between Brad and Angelina, in which they...
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Funny story: Ashley Cole In Botox Injection Riddle

Ashley Cole In Botox Injection Riddle

Chelsea left back Ashley Cole today denied that he has had a botox injection. Fans at Stamford Bridge first began to suspect that he may have indulged in a spot of Botox therapy when he bent over to tie his bootlaces. "His arse was fucking enormous!"...
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Funny story: Catch them if you can

Catch them if you can

1000 days and 48 unanswered questions. In an attempt to raise money for their dwindling "Madeleine" fund the McCanns have come up with a novel way to raise their profile. The answers to the 48 questions that Kate McCann refused to answer are being...
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Funny story: Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

A Spanish woman has been acquitted by a Spanish court of murdering her husband on the grounds of recently discovering that she has hands. Carla Santiago (32, Spanish, has hands) had described Dr Sanchez Moldova as her guardian angel for identifyi...
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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez travels to Salam Massachusetts

Jennifer Lopez travels to Salam Massachusetts

While visiting Salam Massachusetts Jennifer Lopez recalls the life of her ancestral aunt Wilma Elvira Lopez who in March of 1692 was arrested for inappropriate behavior and then castrated by the courts. A month after her castration she was tarred and feathered before anxious onlooker. Wilma Lopez was a great ancestor of Jennifer from her father's side of the family. She was born in Katmandu and...
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Funny story: Man With Incredible Intelligence But Poor Motivation Finally Finishes Death Ray

Man With Incredible Intelligence But Poor Motivation Finally Finishes Death Ray

Local man Terry Hutchins, 34 who is said to have an I.Q of 300 has today finished a death ray he had been working on since he was 12. The death ray witch is said to be powerful enough to blow up a planet is now collecting dust in the garage of Mr...
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Funny story: Apple Tablet iSlate Viewed by Biblical Prophet Moses

Apple Tablet iSlate Viewed by Biblical Prophet Moses

Apple Inc. was the target of comments made this past weekend by biblical prophet Moses, back from the dead. A crowd of New Yorkers was startled to see the ancient celebrity holding a press conference on the main concourse of Grand Central Station.
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Funny story: Andy Dick arrested in West Virginia for groping cop

Andy Dick arrested in West Virginia for groping cop

HUNTINGTON, WV (ABSNN) -- Sometimes funnyman, Andy Dick was arrested in this western West Virginia university town yesterday after kissing three men -- one a bouncer, and one a Huntington Police Officer. "This dick guy is a real Dickhead," said t...
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Funny story: Old Man Farve Pounds Sand; Youth is Served for 999,999th Time

Old Man Farve Pounds Sand; Youth is Served for 999,999th Time

Looking like an old man trying to give one to the Gipper, Farve hipped, hopped, flipped and then flopped in his bid to play in the big one with Real Super Bowl Contenders. Farve, in the first half did make a genuine but feeble effort, flicking a...
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Funny story: Schools Urge Expansion of Zero Tolerance Policies

Schools Urge Expansion of Zero Tolerance Policies

Prominent public education leaders from across the nation called for an across the board expansion in Zero Tolerance policies in public schools today after a two week symposium. The leaders found the mandatory expulsion and suspension from schoo...
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Funny story: 'All Quiet On The Western Front' by T.V. Fictional-News

'All Quiet On The Western Front' by T.V. Fictional-News

As darkness fell on the huge battlefield at Ypres in France in May, 1918, US Army Corporal Henry Unvunny sat peering at the letter he had finished writing to his family back in Inbreddible, Montana. 'Dear Mom', it said, 'I am here in France, and man, how I hate this place! Them Frenchies have already lost over a million men fighting the Germans and show no sign of giving up, and the British are...
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Funny story: Charity Stops Haiti Donations

Charity Stops Haiti Donations

"We knew coming into Haiti that providing aid would definitely be a delicate balance and we seem to have overshot our mark." "The sudden explosion in aid has been overwhelming and for that generosity we thank everybody, especially George Clooney, Chris Martin and Coldplay." "When we first came to Haiti it was one of the most horrific disasters we have ever encountered however thanks to the m...
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Funny story: President Has A Secret Habit

President Has A Secret Habit

President has a silly habit reports the First Lady - Michelle didn't want any one to find out about this, but one day the housekeeper happened to come into the Presidential Bedroom while the White House War Head was still sleeping. She thought ever...
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Funny story: Obama Switches Parties

Obama Switches Parties

President Barrack Obama abruptly switched political parties Monday, stating that he can no longer support the racist policies of his former Democratic colleagues. The announcement comes just days after Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid(Drunk-Ari...
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Funny story: Obama, Limbaugh Regret Realtor's Mistake

Obama, Limbaugh Regret Realtor's Mistake

A Honolulu based realtor mistakenly booked radio personality Rush Limbaugh, and President Barrack Obama into the same Hawaiian vacation condo at the same time. The mistake was discovered after Mr. Limbaugh arrived and tried to take possession of the...
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Funny story: F*cking A**hole Boss Bin Ladin Takes Credit For Something He Didn't Do

F*cking A**hole Boss Bin Ladin Takes Credit For Something He Didn't Do

Karachi, Pakistan - Osama bin Ladin, the fancy pants boss of Al Qaeda, claimed credit for the attempted bombing of an Detroit bound plane Christmas day. While the plot failed it was widely praised in the terrorism community for it's effect of scaring...
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Funny story: O'Bomba to Focus on Jobs & Economy

O'Bomba to Focus on Jobs & Economy

And to get things kicked off right, Wal Mart, the Retailing and profits giant of America, made their own announcement the same day. At Wal Mart owned Sam's Clubs across the U.S. more than 11,000 staffers will be laid off as the retailer seeks lower w...
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Funny story: 'The Old Lack of Curiosity Shop' by Charles Blickens

'The Old Lack of Curiosity Shop' by Charles Blickens

'Nell carefully swept the floor of her grandfather's curiosity shop in West London with a broom, West London with a broom being the unfashionable part of that city, and sighed to herself. For she was only 14 but always curious about things and wanted to know why the British had put so much effort into defeating Napoleon Bonaparte, and why Tottenham Hotspur would never really achieve anything no...
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