Funny story: Chinese Banks At Karmic Epicenter of Friday's Capricorn Solar Eclipse

Chinese Banks At Karmic Epicenter of Friday's Capricorn Solar Eclipse

London - (Off-the-Wall-Street): The 07.11GMT occultation at 25 degrees Capricorn is expected to be the defining moment of the new decade. The dramatic celestial floorshow will be followed swiftly by the 09.02am suspension of global markets as a fl...
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Funny story: Palin to Join the Liberal Media!

Palin to Join the Liberal Media!

In breaking news today, Fox News announced that it has signed former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to a multiyear deal. According to sources at FOX, Palin will be a frequently featured commentator. Additionally, she is expected to take on...
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Funny story: President makes TheSpoof.com mandatory reading in schools

President makes TheSpoof.com mandatory reading in schools

In news today it was learned that the President has ordered that TheSpoof.com is now to be made mandatory reading for all school children, grade 8 and above. The president feels that the information in the pages of TheSpoof.com are important for t...
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Funny story: Melanie Slade Rejects £140,000 Ferrari From Boyfriend Theo Walcott

Melanie Slade Rejects £140,000 Ferrari From Boyfriend Theo Walcott

LONDON - Melanie Slade who is a tonsillectomy student at St. Georgie Porgie Hospital in Wembley has turned down her boyfriend's birthday gift of a 2010 cherry red Ferrari for which he paid £140,000 [U.S. $276,000]. Melanie's boyfriend, Theo Walcot...
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Funny story: Mr Freeze is freezing the World blames Batman

Mr Freeze is freezing the World blames Batman

News is reaching us from Gotham City that Mr Freeze pissed off with Batman who has caught him every time in the past is continuing his campaign to f-f-f-freeze the world. Batman And Robin both agree that they are at fault in not catching Mr Freez...
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Funny story: 'One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich' by Alexander Solzhenitsyn republished

'One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich' by Alexander Solzhenitsyn republished

'Ivan Denisovich checked he had his only possession safely in the pocket of his tattered coat - a stainless steel spoon - and then went out into the yard with the other prisoners of the Macsow Gulag labour camp. As always it was bitterly cold with ice and snow packed onto the ground by months of feet walking over it, feet like Denisovich's which were only wrapped in bits of dirty cloth. 'Putin,...
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Funny story: Tiger FKS UP again!

Tiger FKS UP again!

Tiger Woods is picking up new sponsors even though he is going through a very rough time right now. One maker of small golf carts for children, wants to endorse the golf great. So far Tiger has not responded as to whether or not he wants to accept...
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Funny story: White House Party Crashers Spotted on Space Station

White House Party Crashers Spotted on Space Station

Washington D.C. social climbers Michaele and Tareg Salahi who recently managed to crash the White House state dinner for the Indian Prime Minister have somehow managed to get aboard the International Space Station. Recent NASA photos show the cou...
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Funny story: Gordon And Barack Drop Another Hot Tune

Gordon And Barack Drop Another Hot Tune

Following the runaway success of Gordy B and BO's reworked pro-war song 'WAR', which has been on the UK and US top spot for more than three weeks now, the boys are planning to release a new single. Gordy B spoke to us from his Mayfair hotel. "We j...
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Funny story: Katona Hot Tin Roof

Katona Hot Tin Roof

Kerry Katona has hightailed it from her fat fighting rehab course. The portly pie bin was seen trying to scale a security wall at the rear of the Kent weight loss centre. She had only been in there for three days, but had evidently had enough. Or...
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Funny story: World's Largest Tequila Maker Signs Tila Tequila To Be Its Spokesperson

World's Largest Tequila Maker Signs Tila Tequila To Be Its Spokesperson

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - El Sombrero Grande Tequila Company, which is the largest producer of tequila in the world, has just announced that they have hired noted U.S. Tweeterer Tila Tequila to be its new company spokesperson. The 29-year old nativ...
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Funny story: President unhappy with new Underwear

President unhappy with new Underwear

President Obama has been informed about the production of a new underwear that is now underway to be sold worldwide. The company that manufactures Under Wear for men in a humorous light has come up with a catchy name for their newest line. It...
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Funny story: Everything Back To Normal With Angelina After Brad Pitt Gets His Spanking

Everything Back To Normal With Angelina After Brad Pitt Gets His Spanking

While everyone knows that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have their 'ups and downs', few know about the spankings that have been a rumor for many years among Hollywood insiders. "I first heard about it from Billy Bob, Angelina's former husband", sta...
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Funny story: Jay Leno quits show to aid America

Jay Leno quits show to aid America

Without Jay Leno the tonight late night talk show would be nothing more than a stand up comedian in a tuxedo telling jokes. Fans of Jay Leno are scrambling to cancel their cable and Dish contracts to coincide with the ending of the Jay Leno show.
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Funny story: Hawking's Never Ending Theory

Hawking's Never Ending Theory

What is the answer to life the universe and everything? This is the question that Stephen Hawking, theoretical physicist and professor of mathematics at Cambridge for thirty years has been working on for most of his life. Professor Hawking, despit...
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Funny story: New Census study being studied by the Senate Today!

New Census study being studied by the Senate Today!

A ruckus in the Census is getting senators in an uproar. No one seems to know what to label certain individuals without offending someone. All the little squares that must be checked by the census taker has to be especially careful now that there...
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Funny story: Griffin admits he was at reggae club

Griffin admits he was at reggae club

BNP leader Nick Griffin admitted today that he did indeed attend a London reggae club as reported a few nights ago but it's okay, because reggae is apparently British and white although he still denies shaking his groove thing. According to his e...
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Funny story: Nick Clegg to nation-we are NOT irrelevant

Nick Clegg to nation-we are NOT irrelevant

At a recent press conference Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats hit back at accusations that his party was irrelevant. "Just because we will never ever hold government does not make us irrelevant" he told a rather apathetic crowd of around 2 pe...
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Funny story: Jackman, Clooney Voted Sexiest Men in the World

Jackman, Clooney Voted Sexiest Men in the World

Following typical US focused voting and tally procedures by People Magazine and others, a new format "sexiest man" competition has been expanded to include votes from across the globe. Recently announced 2010 winners will include Hugh Jackman and Ge...
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Funny story: Kazakhstan's 'No Lesbians' rule means Ava-Monroe Johnson's adoption 'was illegal'

Kazakhstan's 'No Lesbians' rule means Ava-Monroe Johnson's adoption 'was illegal'

New Jersey - (BabyOiled): "Maybe she fake the heterosexuality test!" the Adoption Services of Kazakhstan sources said today as pharma heiress Casey Johnson was finally laid to rest by her family. The Kazakh baby agency was responding to questions...
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Funny story: Balloon Boy Dad Abused in Prison

Balloon Boy Dad Abused in Prison

Or at least that what his memoirs will say, after Richard Heene serves his 90 days for perpetrating an expensive hoax on state and local authorities for the benefit of press coverage and almost endless self promotion. Sinking to depths most hard w...
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Funny story: Famous chocolate company to make a mold of Warren Beatty's penis

Famous chocolate company to make a mold of Warren Beatty's penis

Hollywood "Hot Shot" Warren Beatty stays in the news by the skin of his "penis". A recent news story brought to light a chocolate company producing "Tiger's chocolate balls" and doing a brisk business with the females in all states. Not to be...
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Funny story: "Pants Day" in New York leaves some "Big Apples and Bananas" freezing!

"Pants Day" in New York leaves some "Big Apples and Bananas" freezing!

"Pants Day" in freezing New York needed a lot of very brave and loony participants today as New Yorkers dropped their pants or left them at home to "bare" the ice-cold temperatures. The subways full of commuters without their pants on was certainl...
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Funny story: Scientist with Lisp refuses to use his Robot

Scientist with Lisp refuses to use his Robot

A scientist with a prominent speech impediment has refused to use his robot for fear that he will be teased. Professor Robert Robson-Ross has a lisp which has afflicted him since childhood. He cursed his parents for naming him Robert and for havin...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift to Taylor Lautner: "I've seen bigger on a three-month old!"

Taylor Swift to Taylor Lautner: "I've seen bigger on a three-month old!"

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) -- What was to be a fantasy come true, two Taylors in one bed, making hot, sweaty sex (and for one, the first time) became a bitter, howling fist fight that landed both stars in the NYC pokey! Things began well enough, said s...
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Funny story: Football Manager Sacked For Innapropriate Togo Gag

Football Manager Sacked For Innapropriate Togo Gag

Football manager, Juan Knill, has been sacked with immediate effect after making a joke about the Togo national team shooting at a press conference. Speaking in his usual incomprehensible West Country accent, Knill said: 'Before we start this pres...
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Funny story: The 18-Year-Old Male/Female Group, 'Five Nudes' Release CD "No Nudes Is Bad Nudes"!

The 18-Year-Old Male/Female Group, 'Five Nudes' Release CD "No Nudes Is Bad Nudes"!

The Five Nudes have included a Free 150 page photo magazine and Video of performances with their new CD, "No Nudes Is Bad Nudes" and think that, at only $10.95, you're getting a bargain. "We've had 500,000 pre-orders stated Sherry "Boom Boom" Lan...
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Funny story: Warren Beatty is happy fans are still interested in his Penis

Warren Beatty is happy fans are still interested in his Penis

Movie Stars favorite magazine is most decidedly The Starrs. I recently conducted a poll asking the "stars" of Hollywood to email us their favorite publication and it was The Starrs, with TheSpoof.com running a close second. Tom Jones was the fi...
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Funny story: Balls: "No Cabinet Split. We All Hate Brown"

Balls: "No Cabinet Split. We All Hate Brown"

Johnny Balls, the Secretary of State for Childrens Television Presenters, has told critics of the cabinet to think again. Following the recent failed plot to remove Gordon Brown, Balls called for unity. "Let's all unite against Gordon. If we can stic...
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Funny story: Hamilton In Pussy Cat Pit Stop Crash

Hamilton In Pussy Cat Pit Stop Crash

Lewis Hamilton's relationship crashed in the pit lane earlier today, leaving one pussy cat with a badly bruised ego and slightly smudged make up. Hamilton was said to be upset that he had lost control and was blaming it on the wrong choice of tyres.
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Funny story: BBC News and Weather

BBC News and Weather

'And that was the ten o'clock news. Now here's the weather lack of forecast with someone from some token minority that nobody in Britain cares about, and stop laughing at his ridiculous-sounding name - Mkoko Mbollawolla-BirdNoise of that African Area We Conquered. Mkoko.' 'There is no let up to the tripe the BBC keeps issuing as weather forecasts, it's very cold in a country where the city of A...
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Funny story: President Obama Joins The "Save The Monk!" Campaign

President Obama Joins The "Save The Monk!" Campaign

At his Monday press conference, President Barack Obama told his audience that we may be at war in several places around the world and the economy going to pot...literally...but the most important thing on his mind this morning was that the USA Networ...
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Funny story: "White House Is Melting" says Obama

"White House Is Melting" says Obama

Barack Obama has recently claimed that The White House is melting, as a direct result of global warming. Mr Obama, who became the 44th actor to assume the role of The US President in 2008, told press: "If we do not act against this terrible s...
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Funny story: Jonathan Ross To Leave BBC Because He's Not Gay Enough

Jonathan Ross To Leave BBC Because He's Not Gay Enough

The BBC's highest-paid star, chat show host Jonathan Ross, is to leave the corporation in July after 13 years because he is not gay enough. The news was announced last week, and Ross will leave his Friday night BBC1 slot in the summer, and his rad...
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Funny story: Man Chokes On Steamed Carrot - Almost Dies

Man Chokes On Steamed Carrot - Almost Dies

(BANGKOK, Thailand) There was confusion surrounding the details of how a British man living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was involved in a near-fatal incident involving a new electric steam cooker and a carrot yesterday. The man, who is masquera...
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Funny story: Hull City Happy With Chelsea Result - Brown

Hull City Happy With Chelsea Result - Brown

PL strugglers Hull City are 'over the moon' with the result of their postponed fixture with leaders Chelsea at the weekend, says manager Phil Brown. City's match was called of due to ice and snow, not on the pitch, but in areas surrounding the KC...
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Funny story: Salt shortage hits Downing Street

Salt shortage hits Downing Street

WITH parts the nation's travel network still reeling due to the freezing weather, it has been revealed even Downing Street has not been left unaffected by the big freeze that has gripped the UK. At an emergency Downing Street press conference cal...
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Funny story: Myleene has Klass

Myleene has Klass

Myleene Klass is first class according to members of The W C Society in London who follow the beliefs of the comedian W C Fields who said "Anybody who hates children and dogs cannot be all bad" This follows an incident at Myleene Klasses home wher...
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Funny story: Gordon Baboon is still Primate minister

Gordon Baboon is still Primate minister

T J Hacker the worlds greatest computer hacker has hacked into the British government computers and altered the face of Gordon Brown to that of a baboon. Hacker has also hacked in to the Tories' website and changed the picture of a guy called Came...
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Funny story: New range of items from the Susan Boyle "SuBo" Collection

New range of items from the Susan Boyle "SuBo" Collection

Susan Boyle, runner up in the UK Britain's Got Talent banking division of the Syco corporation, has announced a new range of items being marketed under the SuBo brand name. Available from tomorrow, the range includes some vital items for today's modern woman, including: SuBo Tights - a range of patterned support stockings SuBo Pinny - a brightly coloured pinafore for cooking those dreadfu...
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Funny story: New Bin Laden message

New Bin Laden message

Osama Bin Laden, a family friend of the Bush family and one who lived in the USA for many years, and took cocaine with George W. Bush and dated hostesses there, today released his latest evil message from a cave in Outer Moronicamericanistan. 'People of the West', he said, in a suitable Hollywood 'bad beardy guy' accent, 'I will destroy you all! Only little children would believe in this messag...
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Funny story: Global Freezing killed Off Neanderthals

Global Freezing killed Off Neanderthals

Recent research by scientists suggests that Neanderthal Man who roamed the earth 50,000 years ago were wiped out by global freezing. Neanderthals were thought to be stupid but there is now evidence that they actually made tools and used make up an...
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Funny story: The Al Gore Mystery

The Al Gore Mystery

A former school friend of Al Gore claims you should ignore his global warming theories because Gore was hopeless in school with anything to do with weather. Charles Brown who was in the same class as Gore at School explained that Gore was hopeles...
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Funny story: New sex robot dubbed a schizo

New sex robot dubbed a schizo

Las Vegas - (Ass Mess): A new mechanical life-size rubber doll may be prematurely withdrawn from the market after its inventor revealed the automaton 'comes with five personalities'. The 'Roxxxy' made its debut at the Adult Entertainment Expo this...
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Funny story: Tiger Gets something right

Tiger Gets something right

The opening match of the football competition of the Africa Cup of Nations got underway yesterday despite the fact three people including two players for the Togo national team were shot dead only a few days ago. The opening match between Angola...
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Funny story: Travolta Is Cage Shock.

Travolta Is Cage Shock.

Documents have been uncovered in a San Pablo medical centre pertaining to an operation performed in 1996. The operation was commissioned by a Mr. J Woo and involved a Mr. J Travolta and a Mr N Cage Esq. Early evidence suggests that Mr Travolta's f...
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Funny story: Sir Alex Happy

Sir Alex Happy

After a cup game against Halifax Town, where the scores were even after 90 minutes and in the 65th minute of injury time, Manchester United were granted special permission to bring on their 12th substitute and Sir Bobby Charlton hit the winner. Si...
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Funny story: Horror: Pandemic Sweeps Snow Battered Britain!

Horror: Pandemic Sweeps Snow Battered Britain!

Doctor's today confirmed that Britain is in the grip of a potentially fatal 'stupid' disease. Dr. Mo Hislop, 36, said "early signs are showing a massive pandemic spreading south through the country." The disease has caused many deaths in Britai...
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Funny story: The Invisible Man turns up on a beach in Lanzarote

The Invisible Man turns up on a beach in Lanzarote

Hundreds of holiday makers on a beach in Lanzarote were astonished when they saw movement at the waters edge but could not see what was causing it then suddenly a pair of shoes appeared in the sand emerging from the water but there was no sign of any...
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Funny story: Laptops for Layabouts

Laptops for Layabouts

Free Laptops for Layabouts and fraudsters with Free internet connection is Labour's latest Loony policy as announced by Ed Balls. The laptops are supposedly for school children from poor families but as we know every single benefit is the target f...
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Funny story: The Jay Leno Show Cancelled - To Be Replaced By "Nadya and Kate Plus 22"

The Jay Leno Show Cancelled - To Be Replaced By "Nadya and Kate Plus 22"

LOS ANGELES - NBC has finally decided to cancel The Jay Leno Show. A representative for NBC said that the ratings had gotten so bad that other stations were beating Jay with shows like The Cloris Leachman Ailments Hour, and reruns of reruns of sh...
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Funny story: The Nation's Economic Mess Hits The Hell's Angels

The Nation's Economic Mess Hits The Hell's Angels

MILPITAS, California - The leader of the Northern California chapter of the Hell's Angels Corbin "Zoom Zoom" Knoxcross has stated that due to the continuing downward spiraling economic situation his organization has had to make some adjustment change...
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Funny story: Magnificent Robot created for everyday tasks

Magnificent Robot created for everyday tasks

The University of San Taskamonia recently have patented a new device for automated wanking. This new robot was designed by one student, a Dr. Ivana Tinkle. "I, among many other students of the university, have much trouble wanking at night, so...
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Funny story: Copenhagen Talks spark conflict

Copenhagen Talks spark conflict

During the talks that took place in Copenhagen recently, almost all of the nations taking place in the talks became disgruntled with Norway's stance on climate change and most of the participating nations agreed to declare World War Three. The pow...
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Funny story: Kevin Rudd's illnesss continues

Kevin Rudd's illnesss continues

The Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is currently in hospital today after suffering an acute attack of being tongue twisted due to a speech he made recently. The following is a snippet from the tricky speech: "Part of the problem lies in wh...
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Funny story: Heather Mills Heats Up The Ice Rink On Dancing On Ice

Heather Mills Heats Up The Ice Rink On Dancing On Ice

LONDON - The ex-wife of Paul McCartney, Heather Mills literally burned up the ice rink with her fabulous ice skating. The 41-year-old native of Aldershot, Hampshire, along with her skating partner Matt Evers really impressed the judges with their...
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Funny story: The Latest and Newest Airport Scanner Is So Advanced It Can Tell If A Female Is A Virgin

The Latest and Newest Airport Scanner Is So Advanced It Can Tell If A Female Is A Virgin

LOS ANGELES - LAX is the first airport in the United States to install the new Micro-X77 Body Scanner. The Double 7 as it is called was developed by a biologist from Kingston-Upon-Hull, England. Dr. David Faddlefish invented the Double 7 two y...
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Funny story: Writers Protest Over Not Being Able to Put Phuck in the Newspaper

Writers Protest Over Not Being Able to Put Phuck in the Newspaper

"Those candy-assed, lily-livered editorial censorship twits are at it again!" complained the largest group ever assembled of paid newspaper writers that refuse to write for the tabloids. The entire crowd of three, who attended the protest planning...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Strips and Rips at Hethrow; Several Casualties Known

Amy Winehouse Strips and Rips at Hethrow; Several Casualties Known

The Facial Shock Diva was apparently cussing and strutting through airport security with something other than her naturally sickening 30-22-23 figure when Air Marshals insisted that she strip to reveal what she was hiding under her bra. The smirking...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen In Trouble Again - Steals A Colorado Snowmobile And Drives It To L.A.

Charlie Sheen In Trouble Again - Steals A Colorado Snowmobile And Drives It To L.A.

ASPEN, Colorado - The star of the number one situation comedy TV show in America is at it again. It seems that Charlie Sheen appears to be a magnet for trouble. After spending Christmas day in jail for getting into an altercation with his wife it...
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Funny story: Disney Takes Over World

Disney Takes Over World

The Disney company, famous for such characters such as Mickey Mouse and Goofy, has declared ownership of the world this morning. "We've bought out Marvel, New Horizon Interactive and DNA testing labs, so why not the world?" said a representative t...
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Funny story: Woman Arrested At Animal Clinic After Demanding That They Neuter Her Chia Pet

Woman Arrested At Animal Clinic After Demanding That They Neuter Her Chia Pet

KANKAKEE, Illinois - A Mrs. Julia Burpee, 89, of Kankakee walked into the It's Raining Cats & Dogs Animal Clinic with a Chia pet tucked underneath her arm. She told the receptionist that she had seen a TV infomercial about getting your pets s...
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Funny story: The Nasty Effect of Global Warming

The Nasty Effect of Global Warming

A nasty effect of Global warming is the raising of sea levels in one place and the reduction of ice caps in another. Land that has previously been held trapped for millennia under ice, is now exposed and some has even broken free. Such a place...
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Funny story: Singer Pink To Perform But Brother Punk Not Invited To Attend

Singer Pink To Perform But Brother Punk Not Invited To Attend

While the singer Pink will be doing at least one number at the Grammys later this month, her nutty brother Punk has been told that he will not be invited, even to the audience. "Punk will do anything to get people's eyes off his sister. He's extr...
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