Funny story: Stool Softening TV Advert to be made into a Comedy-Drama Series

Stool Softening TV Advert to be made into a Comedy-Drama Series

An advert for a brand of medicine to soften stools where four women discuss their bowl movements over coffee is proving to be so popular that it will be made into a TV series later this year. The show will be based around the lives of four differe...
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Funny story: 'Jim Brown's Schooldays' by John Browne

'Jim Brown's Schooldays' by John Browne

'James Brown was feeling good - he had known that he would, like the sugar and spice that his mother had kindly sent him in his POW parcel from distant Bedfordshire, how he wished he could escape from this concentration camp for schoolboys in Berkshire - Blackfriars Stalag Luft VII College for Unwanted Second Sons. 'Oh well', he thought, 'at least I have the soccer match against the Eton Rifles...
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Funny story: 'Heavy Rain' - Lancashire Software Firm Launch Serious Rival Title - And It's Cheaper!

'Heavy Rain' - Lancashire Software Firm Launch Serious Rival Title - And It's Cheaper!

A Lancashire software developer has released a console game for PS3 enthusiasts which looks set to rival 'Heavy Rain' as the most ambitious console game ever. Jason Etherington, CEO of RinkyDinkyGames Inc told us from his Rishton office: "Our g...
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Funny story: Skull and Bones - The Mr X Files

Skull and Bones - The Mr X Files

When George W Bush was asked by a TV interviewer about being in the secret organisation SKULL & BONES Bush replied "Its so secret I don't want to talk about it". So what do we know about Skull & Bones. Mr X spoke to a Private Investigator who had secret video footage he took from inside Bohemian Grove were the secret organisation meets. The Investigator who prefers to remain anonymou...
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Funny story: Dissident Nationalists Call for Full "80's Revival"

Dissident Nationalists Call for Full "80's Revival"

The political stalemate in Ulster was shaken to within inches of its life today when revivalist nationalists once again showed why all car insurance ads carry the caption "Excludes NI". In a coded statement, the retro-obsessed terrorists, gave war...
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Funny story: Cole Dropped - Bridge Expected To Be Called Up

Cole Dropped - Bridge Expected To Be Called Up

The world of football was rocked to its foundations today with the shock dropping of Chelsea Left Back, Ashley Cole, from the Girls Aloud 5-A-Side competition. Cole, who shares a name with fellow Chelsea player, Joe, was dropped after straying off...
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Funny story: Scientists scorn film-makers for being totally unscientific and using too much "fantasy" in their films, the Aliens are protesting!

Scientists scorn film-makers for being totally unscientific and using too much "fantasy" in their films, the Aliens are protesting!

Scientists in the US have openly scorned film-makers for using too much fantasy in their blockbuster films (dunno what they're on about??). Aliens, Jaws, Armageddon, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Titanic, King Kong, etc, have too much fantasy in t...
View 'Scientists scorn film-makers for being totally unscientific and using too much "fantasy" in their films, the Aliens are protesting!'
Funny story: Gordon Brown Claims He Didn't See Reporter He Knocked Down, Stepping On Camera

Gordon Brown Claims He Didn't See Reporter He Knocked Down, Stepping On Camera

PM Gordon is apparently still in a bad mood as he had a screaming contest with a waiter at London's Per Se II and then flattened a reporter who got a photograph of him, shouting in the waiter's face. "Oh, he claims he didn't see me but he's just u...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Splitting From Husband Ashley Over Sex

Cheryl Cole Splitting From Husband Ashley Over Sex

British TV personality and singer Cheryl Cole is splitting up with her husband Ashley as reported on Yahoo, Drudge and several sites today. In sending our own reporter, Ass Reporter, Danny Hilliard, someone accepted a little contribution to give...
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Funny story: Peter Andre: I'm On Team Tweedy

Peter Andre: I'm On Team Tweedy

Team Andre have been instructed to support Cheryl Cole, following this afternoon's predictable announcement that the nation's sweetheart has separated from her wayward husband Ashley. Immediately after the announcement was made Peter tweeted an i...
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Funny story: Warm Spell Continues To Ruin Russian Winter

Warm Spell Continues To Ruin Russian Winter

The warm spell which has brought an end to the traditional Russian winter looks set to continue for at least another week. Temperatures have reached an unusually high -2 and people are starting to panic buy sun block. The government is concerned t...
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Funny story: German High Priestess gets pissed and runs God down!

German High Priestess gets pissed and runs God down!

After a wild binge drinking session German protestant "High Priestess", Frau Kaessmann, admitted to being totally plastered, jumping in her VW Phaeman, driving through 5 red lights and hitting a lampost dressed as GOD! (well in her state she would ha...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie and Her Father Jon Voight Reconcile: The Two Will Star In The Film "The Story of Richard and Lindsay Lohan"

Angelina Jolie and Her Father Jon Voight Reconcile: The Two Will Star In The Film "The Story of Richard and Lindsay Lohan"

VENICE, Italy - After a nine year estrangement Angelina Jolie has finally reconciled with her father actor Jon Voight. Jolie said that she had not spoken to her father ever since the night of the Academy Awards in 2001. Voight, who was presenting...
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Funny story: Siamese Twins Separated In Delicate Operation

Siamese Twins Separated In Delicate Operation

The Siamese twins Ashley and Cheryl Cole have undergone an operation to separate them. Doctors at the Mass Media, Hype and Ring You Agent Hospital spent several hours working to free the pair. Hospital spokesman Clax Mifford said "It's early days...
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Funny story: Al Qaeda In The Park

Al Qaeda In The Park

British citizens have been advised to exercise vigilance when going for a walk in the local park - as they may well stumble upon an Al Qaeda cell, either in training or on operational duty. This despicable Al Qaeda trend began with the emergence o...
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Funny story: Crack Dealing Monks To Welcome Addicts To Monastery

Crack Dealing Monks To Welcome Addicts To Monastery

The crack dealing monks of the remote Dencrack monastery are to welcome drug addicts from UK prisons. The scheme has been dreamt up (possibly while under the influence) by Jack Straw. The idea is to remove prisoners who have a drug habit, thus saving...
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Funny story: U.S. Olympic Medal Winner Scotty Lago Banned From Vancouver For Lewd Photo of A Girl Kissing His "Bronzy"

U.S. Olympic Medal Winner Scotty Lago Banned From Vancouver For Lewd Photo of A Girl Kissing His "Bronzy"

VANCOUVER - United States Winter Olympic medal winner Scotty Lago has been banned from Vancouver and told to return back to his hometown of Seabrook, New Hampshire. Lago, who is known as "The Great Scot" got carried away with his elation and jubil...
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Funny story: Criss Angel being stalked by stalker

Criss Angel being stalked by stalker

The famous Las Vegas Magician, Criss Angel has a serious problem. He is being stalked, by a stalker. The Las Vegas Police Department daily log book shows a complaint by the famous entertainer that he has someone following him wherever he goes, "e...
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Funny story: Ofcom Rules That Nasty 'Dancing On Ice' Judge Jason Gardiner Will Not Be Fired

Ofcom Rules That Nasty 'Dancing On Ice' Judge Jason Gardiner Will Not Be Fired

LONDON - Ofcom, which is the United Kingdom's communication industry's regulator, has ruled that Dancing On Ice judge Jason Gardiner did not violate any established rules, regulations, or bylaws. The executives of Dancing On Ice received well over...
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Funny story: 'Headless Body In Topless Bar' Guy Denied Parole

'Headless Body In Topless Bar' Guy Denied Parole

The man behind one of the most sensational news headlines ever, Charles Dingle has been turned down for parole 27 years after he unforgettably hit the headlines in 'The New York Post'. Dingle, then 23 robbed 'Herbie's Bar' a New York topless water...
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Funny story: Stalin Only Cryogenically Frozen. Expected To Succeed Putin

Stalin Only Cryogenically Frozen. Expected To Succeed Putin

Joseph Stalin is back. Or at least he might be come the spring, when the thaw sets in. Kremlin insiders have revealed that Uncle Joe is cryogenically frozen and they are just waiting for the right moment to release him into world politics again. S...
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Funny story: General Election 2010: Day Deleted!

General Election 2010: Day Deleted!

Within weeks after the date of this year's general election was announced, it has been cancelled - but in a much more complicated way than usual. Brown's government would not want to be seen as cancelling the election, as it would make Brown be vi...
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Funny story: Chelsea Says She Is Not Moving Wedding Date Up Because She Is Preggers

Chelsea Says She Is Not Moving Wedding Date Up Because She Is Preggers

Friends of Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, say she is NOT pregnant! Apparently the rumor started when she kept asking the people who are supposed to be in her big wedding plans, if they minded if the ceremony took place...
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Funny story: Frozen Hurricane To Obliterate East Coast

Frozen Hurricane To Obliterate East Coast

2010's first hurricane has formed--and she is one cold bitch! Hurricane Aaaagh formed last night off Miami and she will take a run up the chilly East Coast in the next few days. Hurricane Aaaagh will bring 200MPH winds, 200 inches of snow, and deva...
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Funny story: Bakery names Tiger Tarts

Bakery names Tiger Tarts

Famous Bakery, Windemere, FL- The Tiger Woods saga has touched many hearts, as well as many types of industries since the onset of the scandal. Capitalizing on the famous golfer's downfall is a small town bakery in Windymere, FL which is now produ...
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Funny story: New Celebrity reality show announced

New Celebrity reality show announced

The world leaders in reality TV production, have announced their latest venture which will pit has-been and barely known celebrities against wild animals, as well as each other. Celebrity Colosseum is anticipated to be the highlight of this summer...
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Funny story: Has 'Saint' Cheryl's Halo Slipped?

Has 'Saint' Cheryl's Halo Slipped?

As the great British public suddenly take a backwards step and start to seriously examine the evidence put before them by the tabloids and the internet, a steady sea-change in opinion appears to be gathering momentum. People appear to be asking th...
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Funny story: Rickshaws to be introduced in UK City Centres

Rickshaws to be introduced in UK City Centres

In a madcap bid to save the planet (and shorten the dole queue) Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has backed an audacious plan to ban all motorised vehicles from UK City Centres. The plan, developed by the IPCC, is to make use of the thousands of rick...
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Funny story: A Change to Tonight's TV Schedules

A Change to Tonight's TV Schedules

7.00 - The Simpsons Jeremy Paxman guest stars in this episode when Bart learns to swear after watching Newsnight so Marge starts a one woman protest to get Paxman removed from the TV. 7.30 - Friends The one where Jeremy Paxman tells Rachel to fuck off. 8.00 - Britain's Got Talent A new series of the questionable talent show with new judge Jeremy Paxman, who controversially makes an eight...
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Funny story: TW Golf Carts to become top line soon

TW Golf Carts to become top line soon

A struggling new golf cart company named TW Golf Carts in a little little known town of Many Mistresses, Virginia always has jokes made about their town when people refer to them as being in Vagina, instead of Virginia. However, when looking on th...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics in prayer vigil

SuBo fanatics in prayer vigil

Susan Boyle fanatics around the world were praying last night after it was revealed SuBo had grazed her little finger. The incident happened at her Scottish home while grating cheese. She was rushed to her bathroom for a Band-Aid. She is reported to...
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Funny story: Derek Hough And Cheryl Cole - Dirty Dancing?

Derek Hough And Cheryl Cole - Dirty Dancing?

What a feeling! Our wires are buzzing with unconfirmed reports that Cheryl Cole spent her last night in LA alone with dancer Derek Hough - who without doubt will become tagged 'Dirty Derek' by the tabloids before the day is out. So what were they...
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Funny story: Toy Company gets complaints on "Talking Tiger"

Toy Company gets complaints on "Talking Tiger"

Toys That Talk - This new toy industry is just beginning to reap the harvest of the Tiger Woods saga in it's new creation, "The Talking Tiger". Parents are somewhat dismayed with the toy company's representation of their newest talking creation si...
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Funny story: Sarah Harding 'At Breaking Point'

Sarah Harding 'At Breaking Point'

Friends of Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding have confided that the bikini wearing beauty is 'close to breaking point' over the tabloid merry-go-round enveloping her close friend Cheryl Cole and the fact that she has yet again not been lampooned by any...
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Funny story: Winter Olympics officials introduce new sport Snowball Throwing

Winter Olympics officials introduce new sport Snowball Throwing

Winter Olympics officials are going to introduce a new sport to see if they can generate some interest as all events so far have been so boring that some spectators have fallen asleep. Two officials sitting having a drink the other night were look...
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Funny story: From fandom, with love: Bog roll for Boyle

From fandom, with love: Bog roll for Boyle

In anticipation of her 49th birthday in April, American fans of Scottish singer Susan Boyle are preparing the "perfect" gift for a woman who now has everything: a superstar-sized parcel of 49 packages of toilet paper, all wrapped together in a giant...
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Funny story: Nadal turns down $2 million to appear in nude Cheryl Cole single video

Nadal turns down $2 million to appear in nude Cheryl Cole single video

London - (Hawkeye): "Ain't pimping my suntanned grand slam ass for no midget-sized talent like Mrs Ashley Cole," Rafa told reporters today. The macho Spanish athlete was responding to reports that Cheryl flaccid solo career could get a shot in the...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Caught In Clinic Attic With Secretary

Tiger Woods Caught In Clinic Attic With Secretary

"Just trying to taper off, heh heh!" was the only excuse Tiger Woods could offer his counselor yesterday after the two were discovered when they rolled between boards and fell naked into group therapy. If it wasn't for the fact that he is Tiger Wo...
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Funny story: Disney's 'Alice In Wonderland' Boycotted By UK Cinemas

Disney's 'Alice In Wonderland' Boycotted By UK Cinemas

Two leading UK cinema chains have elected to boycott screening Disney's 3D blockbuster 'Alice In Wonderland' in a dispute over DVD release dates. Disney want to release the film on DVD after 12 weeks as opposed to the regular 17 weeks - which in t...
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Funny story: Ferguson Has His Eye On Jack Rodwell And Dan Gosling

Ferguson Has His Eye On Jack Rodwell And Dan Gosling

In an off guard moment at Manchester United's Carrington training complex this morning, Sir Alex Ferguson refused to deny that he had an eye on Everton strikers Jack Rodwell and Dan Gosling, who played major roles in destroying United at Goodison Par...
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Funny story: Row Over World's Tallest Dog Intensifies

Row Over World's Tallest Dog Intensifies

The row over just which dog is the world's tallest intensified yesterday as rival claims fought for the attention of the keepers of the world record books. Officially, George the Great Dane from Tuscon, Arizona, USA has been declared the tallest a...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown Would Love To Give Chavez A Slap

Gordon Brown Would Love To Give Chavez A Slap

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has aroused the ire of British PM Gordon 'The Gorgon' Brown by calling on Britain to return the Falkland Islands (Las Malvinas) to Argentinian sovereignty at a summit of South American nations. Looking a bit comica...
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Funny story: Queen Bans Sex Education

Queen Bans Sex Education

In the light of the recent media whirlpool regarding the various views on how undiluted the Sex Education syllabus should be taught, the Queen has decided that "Enough is enough!", and that she had always thought that it was a bad idea, and was impro...
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Funny story: Davis-Mothman Air Base jet cemetery 'conceals vast UFO retro-engineering lab'

Davis-Mothman Air Base jet cemetery 'conceals vast UFO retro-engineering lab'

Arizona - (X-Files): Officially the gigantic 'Boneyard' recycling silo is run by the USA's 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group. But beneath the vast desert hangars lurks a massive subterranean NASA complex shielding the $100bn cutti...
View 'Davis-Mothman Air Base jet cemetery 'conceals vast UFO retro-engineering lab''
Funny story: The Curious Case of The Horrors of Milk or White Poison

The Curious Case of The Horrors of Milk or White Poison

Once upon a time milk sold in America was fine but in recent years Americans have been injecting dairy cattle with a bovine growth hormone which increases milk production up to 25% but the side effects are horrendous. The dairy cattle are now all ill and the milk produced is referred to by those in the know as White Poison as the milk produced includes PUS, BLOOD, ANTIBIOTICS and CARCINOGENS.
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Funny story: Gordon Brown Admits "I Studied Leadership At The Putin Academy"

Gordon Brown Admits "I Studied Leadership At The Putin Academy"

The bullying row continued at 10 Downing Street yesterday as Gordon Brown denied being a bully. He has, however, admitted to attending a short course in leadership at the Putin Academy, Moscow. "I attended for a week. I am not a full time student the...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Arrives Back In UK To Fierce Criticism

Cheryl Cole Arrives Back In UK To Fierce Criticism

Cheryl Cole, who by now surely needs no introduction, arrived back at Heathrow this morning, where it became quickly apparent that not everybody in this country stands by her as she endures a very public marital crisis. Still reeling from revelati...
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Funny story: Rambling Loonies start uni course

Rambling Loonies start uni course

In a daring attempt to entice the Rambling Loonies into a formal education program, the University of Blackburn, West Lothian, Scotland has released details of their degree course leading to the award of BA in Subo culture. The course has been in...
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Funny story: Lord of the Illuminati is Lord Mandelson the Dark Lord

Lord of the Illuminati is Lord Mandelson the Dark Lord

Peter Mandelson has an amazing 35 cabinet committee posts his influence some would say control over Government decisions is supreme. Undercover reporter Harry Holmes has discovered that Lord Mandelson is a top member of the Illuminati and is know...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown stole my Kit Kat

Gordon Brown stole my Kit Kat

As the furore over the claims that Gordon Brown is a bully heightens, an eminent cabinet minister has fuelled the flames by confirming that the PM took a finger of his favourite tea time snack without asking. During a conversation with a colleagu...
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Funny story: Old People More Likely to Start a World War

Old People More Likely to Start a World War

Latest research from the University of Camberwick has shown that people over the age of 85 are more likely to start a serious world war than people half their age. In a paper published in "Which War" Magazine, top scientists claim that out of 5000...
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Funny story: Al Gore asks Obama to use Atomic Bombs at the polar ice caps

Al Gore asks Obama to use Atomic Bombs at the polar ice caps

Desperate Global Warming Guru Al Gore has pleaded with President Obama to use Atomic bombs at the polar ice caps to melt some snow and ice as some people are actually beginning to think that Global Warming evidence is flawed. They have been tellin...
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Funny story: SuBo's home town turned into theme park

SuBo's home town turned into theme park

Susan Boyle fanatics were partying last night when her Scottish home town officially became a theme park. SuboLand was opened by HM The Queen, and attended by hundreds of menopausal fanatics and their wealthy husbands. American sisters Happy and C...
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Funny story: Iran claims the Moon is to be a Muslim Moon

Iran claims the Moon is to be a Muslim Moon

Iran who recently launched their own rocket into space now claim they have the technology to go to the moon and will be there within the next six months. They are preparing their new rocket ALLAH 1 to go to the moon and claim the moon for the Musl...
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Funny story: Professor Carlton the Nutty Professor talks about H2O, or water

Professor Carlton the Nutty Professor talks about H2O, or water

Professor Karl Carlton the scientist others call the Nutty Professor gave a lecture in London today on H2O otherwise known as water. In the lecture Professor Carlton explained that water is the source of all life without water it would be difficu...
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Funny story: Obama Bows and Submits

Obama Bows and Submits

Consistent with the second rate status of the United States,compared to the Mother Country, The president has offered this not so Modest Proposal. From major newspapers here is the full text of the President's announcement. OBAMA APPOINTS NEW CZAR SUPREMO The Dark Skinned White POTUS has appointed an author from The Spoof, a highly regarded magazine on the internet, to supervise the comp...
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Funny story: Drunken Neighbour In Rambling Rant

Drunken Neighbour In Rambling Rant

Only just midday in the Moscow suburbs. The sun was shinning and it had finally stopped snowing. A pleasant day for National Defender of the Nation Day. Or so I thought. The doorbell rings. I'm in the middle of a work project. I ignore it. My wife is out, I'm not expecting company and I've work to do. The doorbell rings again. Once more. Again. I decide to open the door. Big mistake. It's Iv...
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Funny story: Tebbit Appointed Ambassador To Peking

Tebbit Appointed Ambassador To Peking

Norman Tebbit is the surprise choice as new Ambassador to China. The news was celebrated outside his Bury St Edmunds home with a Chinese style party. Tebbit joined in the festivities and introduced one Chinese child to the traditional Chingford game...
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Funny story: Homer Simpson joins the Buildaburgers Club

Homer Simpson joins the Buildaburgers Club

After being refused entry into the Bilderberg Club Homer Simpson has started his own club the Buildaburger Club. Entry is open to most people in the World who want to sit around building big big burgers,drinking lots of Duff beer and not really gi...
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Funny story: Bizarre Accident at Massage School Reported

Bizarre Accident at Massage School Reported

Henderson Nevada: Police are investigating what caused a bizarre accident at the Pleasure Circle Massage School early Sunday morning. The police and paramedics were called to a residence in the 2200 block of Pleasure Circle Drive at about 4:00 a.m...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Hunting

Grandpa Ganja On Hunting

I used to hunt but I gave it up. I decided I just couldn't shoot poor Bambi, and the thought of blowing Thumper away is even more appalling. The furry and feathered creatures of the forest are safe from me and will remain so until I'm actually starving at which time I'll quickly revert to time-honored atavistic principles and happily shoot anything that moves and looks edible. It wasn't alwa...
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Funny story: MacKenzie Phillips Signs Anti-Meth/Using Safer Drugs, Commercials

MacKenzie Phillips Signs Anti-Meth/Using Safer Drugs, Commercials

Mackenzie Phillips, who made headlines last year in a book about her experiences with her dad, Papa John Phillips has agreed to a three year contract with the makers of cocaine and heroin. "Of course, I have no idea about...what was I..oh..about w...
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Funny story: Barack Obama Owns Nairobi Villa

Barack Obama Owns Nairobi Villa

The JOURNAL's crack investigative reporter, Detrick "DT" Detwiler, has uncovered information that links Democratic presidential nominee, Barack Obama, to ownership of a palatial villa in the Gold Coast region of Kenya. Earlier this week it was report...
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Funny story: Monica Lewinsky Will Be Chelsea Clinton's Maid-of-Honor

Monica Lewinsky Will Be Chelsea Clinton's Maid-of-Honor

Philadelphia, PA-- Chelsea Clinton has secretly named Monica Lewinsky to be her maid-of-honor at her wedding this summer. Chelsea is the daughter of President Bill Clinton, while Monica was the central figure in President Clinton's sex scandal.
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Funny story: Pub Darts "To Go By The Board"?

Pub Darts "To Go By The Board"?

A new guide claims that Britain's national sport Pub Darts could soon become extinct. The Cockney Alcoholic's Handbook reckons that dartboards are vanishing from London pubs faster than the boozed-up brain cells of their "knees up Mother Brown" Ma...
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