Funny story: American Idol Started With 100,000 And Now It's Down To 95

American Idol Started With 100,000 And Now It's Down To 95

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol started of Hollywood Week with 181 hopefuls. After the first day, that number had been whittled down to 95, with a total of 86 being sent home. Among those going home were the Tennessee farm girl Vanessa Wolfe, the self-d...
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Funny story: Katie Price Recalled By Manufacturers

Katie Price Recalled By Manufacturers

Super slut and media whore Katie Jordan Price has been sensationally recalled by her manufacturer. The recall has been issued due to a 'potentially severe and fatal component fault' within her structure. It is believed by experts that her 'air...
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Funny story: Snow! Snow! & More Damn Snow! - Obama Says He'll Have It Sent To Costa Rica So They Can Put In A Ski Slope

Snow! Snow! & More Damn Snow! - Obama Says He'll Have It Sent To Costa Rica So They Can Put In A Ski Slope

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The president says that if it does not stop snowing and pretty damn soon, he will have no choice but to have the White House moved to a much warmer climate, like San Antonio, Texas. President Obama wanted to hold an emergency me...
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Funny story: BBC to drop The News from it's schedules

BBC to drop The News from it's schedules

Long standing BBC favourite, The News will no longer be shown on BBC1 or it's sister channels BBC2, BBC3, BBC4 and BBC News. The current affairs program which stars George Alagiah and Fiona Bruce has been a regular fixture on the channel since it...
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Funny story: Killer Hemorrhoid To Strike New York City By 2015! "We're In A World Of Sh1t": Bloomberg!

Killer Hemorrhoid To Strike New York City By 2015! "We're In A World Of Sh1t": Bloomberg!

Scientists now predict that a killer hemorrhoid will strike the United States and spread around the globe in less than a year. "The hemorrhoid plague will first hit the street people in New York City it has now been determined", stated one Profess...
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Funny story: Naked Ashley Greene On Late Night Shows!

Naked Ashley Greene On Late Night Shows!

The recent scramble over Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien has brought to the surface the fact that there are either too many late night talk shows or not enough guests. "It's gotten so bad lately that we have even invited other Late Night Talk Show host...
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Funny story: Tom Tancredo's Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store

Tom Tancredo's Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store

DENVER, Colorado -- As an advocate for eugenics, former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo is hardly a trailblazer. He follows in the footsteps of pioneers such as Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and David Duke. But what Tancredo lacks in originality,...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Pornography

Grandpa Ganja On Pornography

Pornography is becoming more and more of an issue in the media-and in the minds of the people-and I say it's about time. Smut shops are on every corner. Naked bodies greet the eye everywhere one looks these days. Brazen centerfolds, dirty posters, and x-rated movies lure our unsuspecting youth to the worst kinds of degradation imaginable. Shocking! Well, if the public has been slow to come t...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Grounded?

Miley Cyrus Grounded?

Today Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus had to ground their 17 year-old daughter Miley! The Cyrus' publisist has released a statement saying Miley was grounded because "She, accidently turned on the Nickelodeon channel" Mileys contract clearly states...
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Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On Nautical Stuff

Grandpa Ganja On Nautical Stuff

A couple of years ago I decided I needed a hobby and it occurred to me it might be fun to own a boat so I went down to the boat store to look 'em over. One of 'em caught my eye right away. It was a trim little craft thirty-six feet long and capable of sleeping eight or so people depending on how big the people were. It had sails and a nifty cabin and even a full-sized pool table in the re...
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Funny story: Shock Treatment

Shock Treatment

News is just reaching us that a popular UK based news gathering website has been forced to introduce drastic measures to prevent spoof articles from sneaking through the net masquerading as genuine news stories. From today, all articles submitted...
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Funny story: Lethal Chicken Curries made by the betrayed missus, the perfect murder for cheating Hubbies!

Lethal Chicken Curries made by the betrayed missus, the perfect murder for cheating Hubbies!

Curry seems to be the favourite way of getting rid of cheating, lying, lovers and husbands amongst the Indian fraternity in the UK and India. Jealous Indian women just love making their Curry specials for their partners after they come home compla...
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Funny story: Al Sharpton Insists Nigeria Should Change Its Name

Al Sharpton Insists Nigeria Should Change Its Name

The Reverend Al Sharpton, an American Civil Rights Activist and general big-mouth, has insisted that the African countries of Nigeria and Niger change their name, along with the name of the Niger river. Sharpton said that these three places soun...
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Funny story: Body of Jimmy Hoffa Found in Giant Stadium Demolition

Body of Jimmy Hoffa Found in Giant Stadium Demolition

Jimmy Hoffa, the former union leader and mob boss who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, had been found. It was long believed that he was buried under Giant's Stadium (a.k.a. The Meadowlands), but no body was ever discovered. With the cu...
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Funny story: A 4.3 Earthquake Hits Chicago - Kirstie Alley Is In Los Angeles

A 4.3 Earthquake Hits Chicago - Kirstie Alley Is In Los Angeles

CHICAGO - Every weatherman in the 'Windy City' is reporting that a 4.3 earthquake hit Chicago at 3:59 a.m. Wednesday. Many Chicago residents said that they were sound asleep when it hit and they quickly woke up to find things like chairs, lamps, s...
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Funny story: Ellen Degeneres In Trouble For Mooning Contestants On American Idol

Ellen Degeneres In Trouble For Mooning Contestants On American Idol

Ellen Degeneres, the newest judge on American Idol, is still trying to find her place on the show, according to the director. This may explain why she found it necessary to moon the contestants during one of the tryouts on Hollywood week. Assista...
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Funny story: Megan Fox Admits She Was Naked Under Soap Bubbles During Super Bowl Commercial

Megan Fox Admits She Was Naked Under Soap Bubbles During Super Bowl Commercial

Actress and star of the Transformers movies Megan Fox admitted that she was naked in that bathtub in her Super Bowl commercial. Fox was pictured in a bath tub full of soap bubbles and was hawking a product that no one really cared about. "I wante...
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Funny story: The Dallas Dominatrix Gets Booted Off American Idol

The Dallas Dominatrix Gets Booted Off American Idol

HOLLYWOOD - The Kodak Theater in Hollywood was the scene of lots of joy and lots of tears as the 2010 edition of American Idol presented its famed 'Welcome To Hollywood' show. Ryan Seacrest introduced the new kid on the block, Ellen DeGeneres who...
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Funny story: Binyam was arrested and tortured 'for calling Blair a tosspot'

Binyam was arrested and tortured 'for calling Blair a tosspot'

London - (Waterboarding Mess): The Court of Appeal has sided unanimously with Guantanamo torture victim Binyam Mohammed after spooks admitted his only crime was calling Tony Blair a raving wanker. The adjudication by the Lord Chief Justice and two...
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Funny story: More Car Industry Troubles: Reliant Robin's Recalled

More Car Industry Troubles: Reliant Robin's Recalled

The motor industry is in turmoil over the recall of several leading manufacturer's shitty cars but it now emerges that the most beloved vehicles of them all - the Reliant Robin - has also serious flaws that require a return to the garage. The Rel...
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Funny story: Historians Discover Barack Obama's Old G.I. Joes

Historians Discover Barack Obama's Old G.I. Joes

Historians and archaeologists at a dig in Nigeria have discovered the boyhood toys of United States President Barack Obama. The group, digging at a remote site about eighty miles from the capital, unearthed an old ammo box with the President's name...
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Funny story: Cars with faulty airbags filled with helium have been causing several near misses with landing 747's!

Cars with faulty airbags filled with helium have been causing several near misses with landing 747's!

Reports of vehicles being recalled because of faulty airbags has caused a world-wide panic. Recently cars have been seen drifting heaven-wards after crashes. It seems their airbags were mistakingly filled with HELIUM, causing them to rise like...
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Funny story: Local Man In Whistling Kettle Terror

Local Man In Whistling Kettle Terror

Local man Martin Shuttlecock was left in tatters today, his nerves in shreds following wife Anne's attempt to reduce the family's carbon footprint by buying a whistling kettle from an internet auction site. The whistling kettle, which reduces ener...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Hands In Her Speech To Teabaggers

Sarah Palin Hands In Her Speech To Teabaggers

Sarah Palin's hypocrisy has been exposed and everyone from the Democrats, to the late-night talk show hosts, to the 12-year old science teacher that taught the ex-governor everything she knows, is having a ball shedding light on Crib-Notes Palin.
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Funny story: James Holzier Discusses "Facts & Favs"

James Holzier Discusses "Facts & Favs"

Popular rising celebrity James Holzier discusses his facts and favs with me, Debbie P. Favorite age or time in your life: "All the time.." Favorite time of year: "Fall." Favorite Holiday: "Christmas." Favorite snack: "Pizza." Favorite cereal: "Cookie Crisp." Favorite TV show of all time: "Friends, when I was growing up." Favorite album: "Bob Marley" Favorite gift to give: "...
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Funny story: How To Get Rich Doing Nothing At All

How To Get Rich Doing Nothing At All

Contrary to what many people have come to believe, Nobel Prizes and research grants of taxpayer dollars are not all frivolous rubbish. For example, here is a list of some of the most important contributions to humanity's scientific knowledge that have been awarded the Nobel Prize: 1. The 1996 prize was shared between two Norwegian professors who had investigated the influence of ale, garlic,...
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Funny story: Bruce Forsyth Unveils New Catchphrase

Bruce Forsyth Unveils New Catchphrase

Bruce Forsyth, old git and loathsome presenter of various televisual game shows throughout this and the last century, has sensationally revealed his new catchphrase during filming of Stricly Come Dancing. The doddery old fart told us from his huge...
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Funny story: 'SEXY' Kebab Introduced By Entrepreneur

'SEXY' Kebab Introduced By Entrepreneur

History making purveyor of fine kebabs, pizzas, fried chicken and fish and chips, Ali Bullo today turned the fast food world right on its head with the introduction of the 'SEXY' kebab, which according to analysts will propel the Ali Bullo Organisati...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Still Dead

Michael Jackson Still Dead

In a shocking announcement made at Neverland Ranch yesterday, friends and family of Michael Jackson have revealed that the legendary pop icon is still dead. "We tried everything," said Jose Artula, President of the Michael Jackson Fan Club. "We ev...
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Funny story: Goombah Brothers Arrested In Hayling Island Pizza Joint Incident

Goombah Brothers Arrested In Hayling Island Pizza Joint Incident

Police arrested a pair of Italian brothers at an incident in a Hayling Island Pizza shop in the early hours of this morning. The brothers, Guiseppe and Guillermo Goombah, who gave home addresses in the city of Palermo, on the island of Sicily were...
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Funny story: Bertie Bassett talks about Weeping Basset and casualties of War

Bertie Bassett talks about Weeping Basset and casualties of War

Bertie Basset knows that it takes Allsorts to make a World but it still does not put him of being one of the worlds most outspoken critics against war. Bertie points out that evil arms dealers make billions of dollars from war by selling arms to both...
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Funny story: Al Quada and The Taliban sue under the Freedom of Information Act (FoIA)

Al Quada and The Taliban sue under the Freedom of Information Act (FoIA)

ACLU spokesman Donna McKay, Director of Institutional Advancement and Special Projects announced today that they have recently accepted a joint Al Quada-Taliban request to file suit against the United States Department of Defense on their behalf und...
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Funny story: Brown goes to Tarot Reader and gets the Hanged Man

Brown goes to Tarot Reader and gets the Hanged Man

Gordon {I am Still Klinging On to power} Brown went to visit tarot reader Psychic Tony from Tottenham in London today to see if he could get good news about his election chances. After shuffling the cards Brown handed the cards to Tony for his int...
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Funny story: Racism Quiz: Are You A Racist? Find Out Here!

Racism Quiz: Are You A Racist? Find Out Here!

I know what you're thinking: another one of those stupid quizzes with even more stupid scenarios to supposedly decipher whether or not you are a screaming racist, right? That's right! It's the only way to tell. Just asking you whether or not you consider yourself a Nazi will most likely, make you run and hide your nationalistic tendencies where the sun can't get at them. Take the test, and...
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Funny story: Valentine's Day astrology bedazzles Chinese New Year of the Tigress

Valentine's Day astrology bedazzles Chinese New Year of the Tigress

London - (Hong Kong or King Kong?): A magnificent Valentine's Day conjunction of the Sun, Moon and Neptune this Sunday promises an apocalyptic start to the Chinese New Year. Dazzling portents herald the Return of the Tigress, a rare twist on tradi...
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Funny story: Chocolate Idea melts before St Valentines Day

Chocolate Idea melts before St Valentines Day

Business flop Charles Roberts from South Africa has had as many failed business ideas as Gordon Brown has had complaints about his leadership of the Labour Loony Party. Charles ordered 100,000 boxes of chocolates from Cadburys or is it Kraft to be...
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Funny story: Cameron Clan tell David Cameron he is a disgrace to the name

Cameron Clan tell David Cameron he is a disgrace to the name

Ewan Cameron from Inverness a spokesperson for Clan Cameron has spoken out against David Cameron current leader of the Tories and the Tory Twit who is destined to be next Prime Minister of the UK. Ewan has historical records that show that the Cam...
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Funny story: Health Care Summit in D.C. Is Planned, TV Prep Takes Center Stage

Health Care Summit in D.C. Is Planned, TV Prep Takes Center Stage

Before Feb. 25, the planned date of the summit (the summit which will include President Obama as well as members of Congress), there's much work to be done. "This is our big chance to make our case on television before the American people," House...
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Funny story: Dr Dolittle talks to Mike Batt

Dr Dolittle talks to Mike Batt

Dr Dolittle spoke to Mike Batt at a Pub in Wimbledon yesterday not far from Wimbledon Common where the Wombles originate from. Dr Dolittle asked "is it true your going to bring the Wombles to Glastonbury this summer and if so will Great Uncle Bulgaria be there." "No" said Mike "you are mixing me up with another Mike Batt I dont even like the Wombles even if they are from near here on Wimbledon...
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Funny story: US Forces Launch Secret Offensive By Announcing It To Everyone

US Forces Launch Secret Offensive By Announcing It To Everyone

US and Allied Forces in Afghanistan have begun initial actions to initiate the next phase of US President Barack Obama's new counter insurgency (COIN) operations plan by announcing it to the enemy. Under the new plan, announcing what, when, where,...
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Funny story: Naked Airport Body Scanner Image Photo Of Lady Gaga Proves Groin Inconclusividity

Naked Airport Body Scanner Image Photo Of Lady Gaga Proves Groin Inconclusividity

CHICAGO - Lady Gaga finished performing a sold out concert at Chicago's How About Dem Cubs Convention Center and headed out to O'Hare Airport for her flight to her next concert performance at The Willie Nelson Smoking Is Allowed Auditorium in Austin,...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Has Single-Handedly Brought Back The Art of Palm Writing

Sarah Palin Has Single-Handedly Brought Back The Art of Palm Writing

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Sarah Palin was in the big O speaking to a convention of The Unemployed Cheddar Cheese Makers of Wisconsin. She told the assembled members that what they do, or rather, used to do, is more important than what Katie Couric, Bri...
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Funny story: American Idol Sends Kellie Pickler Wannabee Vanessa Wolfe Back To The Tennessee Farm

American Idol Sends Kellie Pickler Wannabee Vanessa Wolfe Back To The Tennessee Farm

HOLLYWOOD - A total of 86 American Idol contestants were sent packing after the Hollywood round. One of these was 19-year-old Vonore, Tennessee resident Vanessa Wolfe. At her Hollywood performance Randy Jackson told her that she was just too pitc...
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Funny story: English Teacher Breaks "Good Morning" Record

English Teacher Breaks "Good Morning" Record

The record book was thrown out of the window today when a teacher at a Bangkok school broke the all-time "Good morning" record before most decent folk were even out of bed. Moys Kenwood, an English teacher at a local primary school, was forced to...
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Funny story: New Jersey Votes To Make Pizza The Official State Food

New Jersey Votes To Make Pizza The Official State Food

TRENTON - The New Jersey State Senate has just passed legislation by a 97-3 vote to make Pizza the state's official food. Prazzo Pagazzano a spokesperson for one of the state's leading pizza manufacturers, The Leaning Tower of Pizza Company, said...
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Funny story: Sweet Tooth Link To Obesity

Sweet Tooth Link To Obesity

Doctors in the United States have said that they have established a link between children with a sweet tooth and obesity. While most children in society these days like sweets, those with an extra sweet tooth may become fat, the researchers say. T...
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Funny story: Katie Price - Billions Of People Just Don't Care!

Katie Price - Billions Of People Just Don't Care!

It may come as a surprise to millions of Britons, and will especially come as a HUGE surprise to Katie Price, but research carried out by a team of Oxford statisticians reveals that there are billions of people who neither know, nor care less what th...
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Funny story: Obama Announces 100 Million Green Jobs Created Or Saved

Obama Announces 100 Million Green Jobs Created Or Saved

"WE HAVE CREATED OR SAVED over 100 Million jobs," announced President Obama today, "and this is the really good part: they're all 'green jobs'." This announcement follows last weeks' new Securities and Exchange Commission rule that all U.S. Corporat...
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Funny story: Islamic Porn Cable Network Underway

Islamic Porn Cable Network Underway

HAMA SAMWICH, SAUDI ARABIA (Spoof Wire Service) Sources within the official news agency for such groups as Hamaas and Al Qaeda have confirmed that plans are in the works to turn the Islamic news agency into a 24-hour Islamo-Porn cable TV franchise.
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Funny story: Local Man Makes Complete Ass Of Himself In Valentine's Day Cock-Up

Local Man Makes Complete Ass Of Himself In Valentine's Day Cock-Up

Local man Martin Shuttlecock today narrowly averted making a complete and utter arse of himself on Valentine's Day thanks to an eagle eyed mate of his who'd popped round for a cup of tea on his way to the shops for a paper and a bottle of milk. Sh...
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Funny story: American Idol's Simon Cowell Says He Won't Grab Ellen DeGeneres' Thighs Underneath The Table Like He Did Paula Abdul's

American Idol's Simon Cowell Says He Won't Grab Ellen DeGeneres' Thighs Underneath The Table Like He Did Paula Abdul's

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol Judge Simon Cowell has stated that he will not be grabbing Ellen DeGeneres' thighs underneath the judges table like he did last year when Paula Abdul was sitting next to him. Simon said that for one thing, he was very clo...
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Funny story: Pope Tells Charity, "You Go to War With The Salvation Army You Have, Not the Salvation Army You Want."

Pope Tells Charity, "You Go to War With The Salvation Army You Have, Not the Salvation Army You Want."

The Salvation Army was founded in 1865. Its first converts were alcoholics, heroin addicts, prostitutes and other "undesirables" unwelcome in polite Christian society. And for nearly 150 years, these undesirables have been running one of the most luc...
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Funny story: Iran To Announce First Contact With The Romulans February 11

Iran To Announce First Contact With The Romulans February 11

Tehran, Iran-- The Islamic Revolutionary Government of Iran certainly plans to live up to its pledge to 'stun the West' on February 11th. Iran is to announce first contact with an extraterrestrial species--the Romulans. Iranian President Mahmoud Ia...
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