Funny story: Russell Brand Wants To Eat His Own Ejaculate

Russell Brand Wants To Eat His Own Ejaculate

Prancing, mincing, flouncing, waspish wag Russell Brand is desperate to eat his own sperm, writes Dick Fidler, Prattling Egomania Correspondent. In last night's show at the West End Mockney Vampyre Theatre, Brand - who, as well as being a parasiti...
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Funny story: Man on the Street: England Loses 2018 World Cup Bid to Russia

Man on the Street: England Loses 2018 World Cup Bid to Russia

FIFA executives have announced that Russia will host the FIFA World Cup in 2018, beating favourites, England, the home of the game. What do you think? Peter Mattes, New York (Rubber-On-Pencil Pusher) - The football world cup? I never knew there was a football world cup! I didn't even know other countries played... oh. The fake football. The communist one. Oh. Screw you. Leonard Scott, Gla...
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Funny story: List of 2011 United States National Dangers Released

List of 2011 United States National Dangers Released

NEW YORK - The Shuttleworth Institute of Research have compiled data about the top 200 (of 200 million) dangers to national security. Several dangers from last year have reappeared, such as The Tea Party, Stubborness and many others. Here are s...
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Funny story: Mick Hucknall: "My Mother Was A Ginger-Tentacled Gorgon Who Drove Me To Sleep With 3000 Women."

Mick Hucknall: "My Mother Was A Ginger-Tentacled Gorgon Who Drove Me To Sleep With 3000 Women."

Simply Red crooner Mick Hucknall has spurted out a pubic, sorry, public apology to the 3000 women he slept with between 1985 and 1988, writes Lena Bacon, Raddled Lothario Confessionals Correspondent. The ginger-syruped bag of spanners-a-like whose...
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Funny story: Superheroes Call General Strike

Superheroes Call General Strike

NEW YORK - Superhuman vigilantes, commonly known as superheroes, have called a general strike over their work. The first ever supoerhuman who used his powers for good was George Washington, having the ability to run nations. Superheroes and their...
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Funny story: Sepp Blatter Revealed To Be High Class Hooker

Sepp Blatter Revealed To Be High Class Hooker

FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...
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Funny story: Sean Ryder resurrects bad habits on Celebrity

Sean Ryder resurrects bad habits on Celebrity

Ex Happy Mondays frontman Sean Ryder cleaned up at the penultimate Bush Tucker Trial, Rank Banquet. Both the other contestants, Jenny Eclair and Stacy Solomon, were faced with eating a variety of gross objects including Kangaroo Arsehole, Fisheyes...
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Funny story: Oprah To Follow Martha Stewart To Prison?

Oprah To Follow Martha Stewart To Prison?

It's hard to believe that someone like Oprah Winfrey could spend any time in prison but the same was true for Martha Stewart and for the same crime. Federal authorities are examining whether multiple insider-trading episodes on Wall Street have be...
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Funny story: Republican House Ask Pelosi To Be Majority Leader

Republican House Ask Pelosi To Be Majority Leader

Before daylight, a small group from the Republican House caucus gingerly approached the doorstep of present Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi as she reached for the morning paper. They inquired whether she would consider becoming their elected majori...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber's Mother: Justin May Belong To Billy Ray Cyrus

Justin Bieber's Mother: Justin May Belong To Billy Ray Cyrus

Pattie Mallette, the single mother of Justin Bieber, admits that her son, who was born in Stratford, Ontario on March 1, 1994 could be the son of singer/actor Billy Ray Cyrus. Of course, Billy Ray Cyrus denied the whole thing until a sperm bank in...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Seen At Party With Kate Gosselin!

Tiger Woods Seen At Party With Kate Gosselin!

Tiger Woods was his old self on the golf course yesterday and maybe it's because he is once more anchored, really anchored to reality. What happened? Several people have reported that Tiger is being seen around Florida lately with actress Kate...
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Funny story: UK window cleaner is fined for wearing Bin Laden mask whilst cleaning windows?

UK window cleaner is fined for wearing Bin Laden mask whilst cleaning windows?

A cheeky London window cleaner who loves wearing his Bin Laden mask whilst on the job has been cautioned and fined by the police after several of his customers thought he actually was Bin! Stephen Taylor loves a prank or two, but this one certainl...
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Funny story: No Committee, Commission, Review For Obama's Basketball Game

No Committee, Commission, Review For Obama's Basketball Game

While President Barack Obama appears to rely on appointed committees, commissions and reviews to decide how to move forward making decisions on START, DADT, Bush tax cuts, the deficit, you name it, he fails to require a consensus when deciding to pla...
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Funny story: Balotelli in Tupac tribute

Balotelli in Tupac tribute

Italian wildchild and wantaway Man Cty ace Mario Balotelli, has controversial plans to wear a tribute to late rapper Tupac Shakur on his Manchester City kits. Balotelli is understood to be a massive of the ganagster scene and it is well known that...
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Funny story: 'Freezing' Terry Waite pleads to be reunited with radiator

'Freezing' Terry Waite pleads to be reunited with radiator

Terry Waite has made a dramatic plea to be reunited with the Islamic radiator that was central to his captivity at the hands of Jihadists in 1987, saying he was seeking sanctuary from the inclement weather conditions. The plea comes as temperature...
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Funny story: Mike Shanahan: McNabb Cost Me My Record Of 26 Seasons Without a Black Quarterback.

Mike Shanahan: McNabb Cost Me My Record Of 26 Seasons Without a Black Quarterback.

Mike Shanahan is not angry at Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb because he is a big fat oaf, or is a terrible leader, or because he can't throw two accurate passes in a row. Instead, his frustration comes from McNabb breaking his NFL-record 26 cons...
View 'Mike Shanahan: McNabb Cost Me My Record Of 26 Seasons Without a Black Quarterback.'
Funny story: Monsignor Francois DuBois Placed Under House Arrest Again

Monsignor Francois DuBois Placed Under House Arrest Again

Huntington, West 'By God!' Virginia Sheriff's Department today confirmed that hell raising former Jesuit priest Monsignor Francois DuBois has been placed under house arrest again. Mainly for being 'meddlesome' and 'causing trouble.' This isn't...
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Funny story: Putin Put-in Economy Following Big Freeze

Putin Put-in Economy Following Big Freeze

English fans eat your heart out. A slice of justice today as the Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, was served a slice of revenge as he left Moscow to Zurich to celebrate the country's victory. The irony? He had to fly Easyjet. Due t...
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Funny story: Donovan McFlabb Upset Over Questions Regarding His Body Mass Index.

Donovan McFlabb Upset Over Questions Regarding His Body Mass Index.

Donovan McFlabb's life since joining the hapless Redskins has been a blur of criticism, condemnation and fatty foods. And, judging from McNabb's furious lashing out during his weekly after-loss press conference, it seems to be getting to him. Here we...
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Funny story: Russians air video of drunken, hallucinating squirrel, celebrating Russia's winning bid to host 2018 World Cup

Russians air video of drunken, hallucinating squirrel, celebrating Russia's winning bid to host 2018 World Cup

The Russians are airing a recent video of a drunken, hallucinating squirrel, apparently celebrating Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. The squirrel has bulging eyes and is staggering about mumbling incoherently in Russian. It cannot be conf...
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Funny story: England 2018 failed World Cup bid - the truth.

England 2018 failed World Cup bid - the truth.

Well, according to the local newspapers, the England bid was stitched up from the start by the Russian mafia that according to Wikileaks run the place. Good for them I say. Compared to the UK, they know how to run a country. No one moans over there a...
View 'England 2018 failed World Cup bid - the truth.'
Funny story: Thieves steal snowman in the UK and the police set up road blocks!

Thieves steal snowman in the UK and the police set up road blocks!

Nasty thieves in Kent, UK, have stolen a snowman from under the nose of it's owner as she was sweeping the snow in her front garden the thieves jumped over the garden fence and whipped the snowman, with a carrot as his nose, away. The irate woman...
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Funny story: Madonna opens gym in Mexico City

Madonna opens gym in Mexico City

Hundreds of fans turned out to see singer and fitness fanatic Madonna open her first gym in Mexico City. Madonna, 52, who is hoping to open a chain of gyms, said she chose to Mexico City for the first one because she likes the poverty and needines...
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Funny story: World War Three Starts Over FIFA 2018 World Cup

World War Three Starts Over FIFA 2018 World Cup

LONDON & MOSCOW - After revelations that Russia is hosting the 2018 World Cup, Britain have started WW3 with Russia. David Cameron, coming to Cabinet in a drunken stupor, mostly to drown his sorrows of the lost investment, ordered his Cabinet...
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Funny story: Single mother evicted as snowman deemed as additional occupant

Single mother evicted as snowman deemed as additional occupant

Borough of Ealing council has caused outrage following claims they evicted a single mother with two young children because a snowman they built was deemed to be an additional tenant. The council acted on a tip off from a bitter neighbour who had p...
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Funny story: Gay Teenager Feels He May Be Turning Right-Wing

Gay Teenager Feels He May Be Turning Right-Wing

BIRMINGHAM - Robert Hedley, 15, is just like any other gay teen his age. However, lately, he feels different. "Oh..." he said. "It was horrible. I wanted to do things to other people. I felt wierd inside... I wanted to rip out my soul." Hedley,...
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Funny story: Vomiting bug hits wards at Furness General Hospital

Vomiting bug hits wards at Furness General Hospital

The BBC reports that a vomiting bug has accessed three wards at the hospital. The Spoof has visited the hospital and found out that the bug is actually a Stag Beetle with a bad case of gastric flu. Having puked up on both staff and patients the...
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Funny story: David Beckham Says His Wife Victoria's 'Drawers' Are Always Open

David Beckham Says His Wife Victoria's 'Drawers' Are Always Open

PARIS - David and Victoria Beckham were in Paris where they had gone to buy some plaster of Paris for a home project they are working on. David was asked if it was true that he is an obsessive compulsive who has tremendously strong disorder tenden...
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Funny story: Wikileaks Documents Verify That Ron Jeremy Has The Biggest Penis In The USA

Wikileaks Documents Verify That Ron Jeremy Has The Biggest Penis In The USA

CHICAGO - A spokesperson for Wikileaks has informed the main stream media, the Left Coast paparazzi, the Right Coast news hounds, Clay Aiken, Adam Lambert, and Richard Simmons that porn star Ron Jeremy has the largest taco tickler in the entire count...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron has informed his grandmother, Brunicia Flossie Efron, 87, that he will soon star in a movie with Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton. Efron told his grandma that he will be portraying Chauncey Pepperbiffle, a...
View 'Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"'
Funny story: UK to Pull out of FIFA over World Cup Fiasco: "Reds, Frogs, Quatar and Somali Pirates Can Go Play with Themselves" says Wills!

UK to Pull out of FIFA over World Cup Fiasco: "Reds, Frogs, Quatar and Somali Pirates Can Go Play with Themselves" says Wills!

Shortly after it was announced that the next two World Cup sites had been awarded to Russia and Quatar (wtf), as an Act of God, a spokesman for The Disappointed Three Lions Negotiating Committee, said "quits" to the corrupt Federation International...
View 'UK to Pull out of FIFA over World Cup Fiasco: "Reds, Frogs, Quatar and Somali Pirates Can Go Play with Themselves" says Wills!'
Funny story: Obama Signs New Jim Crow Bill into Law

Obama Signs New Jim Crow Bill into Law

Washington D.C. - Continuing a perfect record of being a doormat for the Neo-Fascists, President Obama signed a reverse civil rights bill into law today. Specifically, the bill addresses the ire of restaurant owners who are tired of serving pesky col...
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Funny story: 106 year old Quits Smoking

106 year old Quits Smoking

German actor Johannes Heesters, who is 106 years old, has quitted smoking. He says he has done it for love as his 62 year old wife Simone Rethel, who has been living with the actor since 1992, wants him to. She has taken her time persuading Johann...
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Funny story: NASA Claims Leftovers in Back of Fridge Source of Alien Life

NASA Claims Leftovers in Back of Fridge Source of Alien Life

Americans were on pins and needles Thursday afternoon awaiting the much anticipated announcement by NASA regarding new sources of astrobiological life here on Earth. Many scientists believed that NASA would more than likely discuss the findings of a...
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Funny story: The Real and Silly As Hell Reason Why Christina Aguilera Filed For Divorce

The Real and Silly As Hell Reason Why Christina Aguilera Filed For Divorce

BAD AXE, Michigan - Christina Aguilera was visiting a friend in Michigan when she was asked about her divorce. At first Lady Ah Ah did not want to talk about it since she said that it brings up sad memories that make her cry and cause her eye make...
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Funny story: Don't blame Putin corruption for England 2018 crap bid

Don't blame Putin corruption for England 2018 crap bid

London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it. A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio. Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely rais...
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Funny story: Sign of NEW life form discovered on earth-could it be Spoof Writers?

Sign of NEW life form discovered on earth-could it be Spoof Writers?

I was sitting 'catching up' on The Spoof this morning, the t.v. Canada Morning news magazine was on and out of the corner of my ear I heard the newscaster speaking to a female scientist on the discovery of a new life form. The woman being intervie...
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Funny story: Kerry Katona - Prostate Relapse

Kerry Katona - Prostate Relapse

Kerry Katona has suffered a setback on her self-titled 'Road to recovery'. According to sources close to the former celebrity, Katona is said to have hit the cocaine 'like a city banker on pay day', after learning she didn't have a prostate. On...
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Funny story: Spoof Announces Drive for Gender Equality After Lib Dem Calls Site 'Sexist!"

Spoof Announces Drive for Gender Equality After Lib Dem Calls Site 'Sexist!"

The bicycle riding, toasted cheese sandwich, pickle egg sucking editor of the Spoof.Com today, said he was giving in to new government demands to include more women and the 'less articulate' in addition to other 'minorities' in a drive to provide 'a...
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Funny story: Find a date today

Find a date today

The Christmas period is upon us, and it's a time for much happiness and joy to spread across Earth. Ironically, it's also a time of much misery and sadness, especially for those people who are alone at Christmastime. However, a new initiative star...
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Funny story: Stacey Solomon Offered Lead In Remake Of Stephen King's 'The Shining'

Stacey Solomon Offered Lead In Remake Of Stephen King's 'The Shining'

The latest rumour sweeping London town is that I'm a Celeb and X-Factor starlet, Stacey Solomon, is to be offered the lead role in a reworking of Stephen King's magnum opus (apart from The Stand) The Shining. Stacey has apparently been pencilled i...
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Funny story: SuBo fanatics sue common cold virus!

SuBo fanatics sue common cold virus!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are suing the common cold virus. The suit, filed with the Loonyville Supreme Court, accuses the virus of causing "deliberate embarrassment to 'Lady' Susan by invading h...
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Funny story: Snowbound Man Waits For Train

Snowbound Man Waits For Train

A remarkable tale of survival against all the odds has emerged, amidst the absolute chaos that the UK's transport network has descended into. A local man, Arthur Crapper, has been found sitting in the waiting room of the snowbound railway station,...
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Funny story: Howard Stern Rumors Heat Up as His Old Contract Cools Down

Howard Stern Rumors Heat Up as His Old Contract Cools Down

How do you create a ground swell with nary a sound? If you're Howard Stern and Crew you play it decidedly confused and tight lipped. Stern claims to have no clue as to what the next move is for him and his rather large staff, assuming there is an...
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Funny story: Call Turkey on your Mobile only 1p per Minute!

Call Turkey on your Mobile only 1p per Minute!

The latest mobile deal is upon us, ready for the Christmas season. Crazy low rates are being offered by one mobile operator which is offering unlimited Turkey calls for just 1p per minute. The seasonal offer from Turkey-Mobile is hoped to raise ov...
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Funny story: Wikileaks bombshell: Osama doesn't exist! Biggest hoax created by GOP Admin to justify invading Iraq-Afghanistan!

Wikileaks bombshell: Osama doesn't exist! Biggest hoax created by GOP Admin to justify invading Iraq-Afghanistan!

Just when you thought you had read everything there was to know about how the US has destroyed world peace with its duplicity; sleeping with the enemy; funding terrorists; outright lies and generally offensive machinations, here comes the biggest bombshell! That elusive scoundrel "Osama" simply does not exist! Not because he's dead - but because he has never existed! Previous such allegations...
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Funny story: Wikileaks reveals who voted for English World Cup bid

Wikileaks reveals who voted for English World Cup bid

According to Wikileaks, England could have had three votes in the World Cup selection, however, Wikileaks reveals that there was only two bids, with England's bid going to Spain and Portugal instead of England. "We're lucky we got one," said David...
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Funny story: Blooming Time

Blooming Time

In the garden of Eden, Lord God was holding the stem of a four-o'clock flower to examine its petals. Every now and then, he glanced at Man' children on planet earth. He could see the Adam's children were wearily walking towards the deep valley of total destruction. He heard them saying in unison 'LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground. Then at Adam's request, Lord made him a mate by ta...
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Funny story: Wikileaks Reveal That England World Cup Bid Failed Because Wayne Rooney Is A Bad Example To Young Players

Wikileaks Reveal That England World Cup Bid Failed Because Wayne Rooney Is A Bad Example To Young Players

As the terrible news that England's 2018 World Cup bid had failed started to sink in this morning, the Wikileaks website announced that the reason behind the snub was that FIFA officials believe that Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney...
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Funny story: Office Of Fair Trading Warns On Misleading Offers

Office Of Fair Trading Warns On Misleading Offers

The OFT has warned that it plans to take severe action against high street stores and online retailers who break the law by not making price offers clear. One common practice the OFT is particularly worried about is "drip" pricing, where compulsor...
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Funny story: World Cup Vote Sex Allegations Reaction

World Cup Vote Sex Allegations Reaction

Britain's "red-top" papers have reacted to the FIFA vote to give the 2018 World Cup to Russia in a satisfyingly predictable way. One banner headline reads: "Russkies Take Blatter Up The Arse In Vote Fixing Scandal!" Another blames CONCACAF pow...
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Funny story: Spider-Man Is in a Web of Trouble

Spider-Man Is in a Web of Trouble

He's stepped in it now, for sure. And all the webs in the world may not be able to get him out of it. Fans are disgusted that Spider-Man seems to be having so many problems with his new Broadway show. The first preview performance didn't go...
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Funny story: Death Toll Mounts as Fr Francois DuBois Tests His New Power Scooter

Death Toll Mounts as Fr Francois DuBois Tests His New Power Scooter

The City of Huntington, West Virginia Police Department has issued an all points bulletin to be on the lookout for a Jesuit Priest who has not yet gotten the hang of his brand new mobility power scooter. So far, the scooter-happy priest has mown thro...
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Funny story: Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Investigators in Florida are trying to determine why beloved celebrity doggie Pluto committed the first reported murder in Celebration, Florida; a distinctly creepy, Stepford-Wives-type knit town that was conceived and built by the Walt Disney Co.
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Funny story: Palin Presidency Assured in 2012

Palin Presidency Assured in 2012

Political analysts said today a new poll of American politicians indicates Sarah Palin will be the next President of the U.S., due solely to the fact no one will run for the job. The poll found any American with brains would be leaving the countr...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert Sends Taylor Lautner Copy Of His Scanner Photo!

Adam Lambert Sends Taylor Lautner Copy Of His Scanner Photo!

The latest in the Adam Lambert/Taylor Lautner story is that Adam has recently sent a copy of his scanner photo to Lautner, who has finished filming his last scene as a werewolf in Twilight. Lambert and his latest friend, Gym Laswell were asked at...
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Funny story: Tramp Stamp Barcodes Slow Spread of STD's

Tramp Stamp Barcodes Slow Spread of STD's

Tramp stamps are predicted to reduce STD's by 75% over the next 5 years thanks to a new barcoding system that can quickly pull up your new lover's STD history. The technology is still new, but the idea is spreading like herpes on a pirate ship.
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Funny story: Boston Transplant Brings Wicked Hardcore Phrases to Tampa Area

Boston Transplant Brings Wicked Hardcore Phrases to Tampa Area

Sean McGinn moved to the Tampa Bay area 6 months ago, leaving behind his Boston roots for some fun-in-the-sun. Locals cannot decide if they dislike his haircut or dumb accent worse. "Everything with this asshole is like; yo, that's wicked hardcor...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Identity Thieves Target Elderly

Isle of Wight News - Identity Thieves Target Elderly

Identity Theft seems like a problem of the computer age but more and more non-computer users seem to be targeted. The elderly in particular are increasingly reporting becoming victims of this new crime. Marjorie Stevens of 10 Bettsworth Cresent ha...
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Funny story: Wow: World's First Porn Circus - A Review

Wow: World's First Porn Circus - A Review

The world's first porn circus has rolled in to town in Grimsby this week, causing quite a stir with the locals. Barry Craddock's Big Arsed Bizarre Fucktacular prides itself as being the first traditional live porn circus show to hit the road. Featuring an array of acts such as the Mighty Wanger's, a family of trapeze artists, famed for their high altitude fellatio, the Arse Clowns, an all male...
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Funny story: Horror: One Hundred And Eighty Is Easier To Write As 180

Horror: One Hundred And Eighty Is Easier To Write As 180

As a spoofer reached his one hundred and eightieth story, it occurred to him to write 180 instead. Nick Hobbs, spoofer of spoofs, had been awaiting a story of some substance when he realised spoof number one hundred and eighty had crept up on him...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Furious At Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar

Kristen Stewart Furious At Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar

A controversial Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar created by an Argentine artist duo has fired the ire of Twilight starlet Kristen Stewart, writes Val Cano, Prepostorous Recycling For Cash Correspondent. Kristen's ire was fired in England, where she ha...
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Funny story: Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

Shock: Drunk 'Lady' Has too Much To Drink And Gets Drunk

A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight. The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...
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Funny story: Wikileaks Posts Secret Hot-or-Not Ratings of World Leaders

Wikileaks Posts Secret Hot-or-Not Ratings of World Leaders

WASHINGTON - "Angela Merkel is risk-averse and rarely creative, but get her in a strapless evening gown and she's the Bavarian Alps! And I bet she's a cougar, ready to pounce. Give her a nine." So states one of countless U.S. diplomatic cables tha...
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