Funny story: Tiger Woods Breaks His Penis

Tiger Woods Breaks His Penis

It as been reported, that Tiger Woods was recently hospitalized and released with a broken penis, in a attempt to make up for all that sex he has missed during the big, "to do" with his, now ex wife. Tiger has been burning the candle at both ends sin...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Hicks, Flies

Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Hicks, Flies

With Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" in town on Saturday Washington DC was beset by an invasion of unwashed hicks, rubes, hayseeds, yahoos, hillbillies, and rednecks. The foul-smelling horde of knuckledraggers besmirched the National Mall towards the...
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Funny story: Data Vapor: New Affliction Causes Everything From, Frustration to Mass Murder

Data Vapor: New Affliction Causes Everything From, Frustration to Mass Murder

A new term has been added to the English vernacular, "Data Vapor". The term encompasses the full range of aggravation, caused by the loss of electronic data. Hard drive crashes, software glitches, computer hardware failure, cell phone theft and inter...
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Funny story: Stupid NYC Suicide Bomber's Fake Snoopy Blimp Blows Prematurely

Stupid NYC Suicide Bomber's Fake Snoopy Blimp Blows Prematurely

George Peay, also know as Habib Dibob, had everything worked out but the wind as he had built his own blimp and had some kid paint a big Snoopy on the side of it. His goal? Who knows but he was definitely determined to blow up something in New...
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Funny story: Nude Photographs Of Justin Bieber Now Sold On Black Market Magazine

Nude Photographs Of Justin Bieber Now Sold On Black Market Magazine

A magazine sold on the street that no one seems to know anything about, The Black Market Magazine, has some of it's street vendors selling copies of #213 this week, containing nude photographs of a seven-year-old Justin Bieber. Although reps from...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Builds Her Love Nest 100-Feet From Parents House

Miley Cyrus Builds Her Love Nest 100-Feet From Parents House

If you like Miley Cyrus and want the next job at her new house in Los Angeles, she now has an opening just for you. But you must have the right qualifications! Since building her dream house and kicking out poor old Liam Hemsworth, Miley is shopp...
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Funny story: Jails Minister Crispin Blunt Reveals He's Gay, Leaves Wife & Heads for Prison Showers

Jails Minister Crispin Blunt Reveals He's Gay, Leaves Wife & Heads for Prison Showers

Although not exactly a big surprise given his name (99% of public school toffs with twats names like Crispin, Tarquin etc. are surely gay), a medium surprise given the fact he was educated at Sandhurst Military School or indeed even a tiny little sur...
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Funny story: Taliban attack on David Cameron prompts urgent security review

Taliban attack on David Cameron prompts urgent security review

It has emerged that the Taliban came within a tribesman's whisker hair of shooting down the British Prime Minister's helicopter during David Cameron's recent visit to Afghanistan. The news has sent shockwaves through Whitehall and a review of the...
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Funny story: The Night Nicole John Pooped on my Carpet

The Night Nicole John Pooped on my Carpet

I come home late one night and my roommate has people over. I'm sober, but none of them are. I decide to sit down and have a few beers with them before heading to bed. When I walk in my room there are a few people passed out on the floor. I walk over them, climb into my bed and pass out right away. I'm dead asleep when I feel someone poking me. I open my eyes and it's my friend Derek who i...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck Organizers of D.C.'s "I Have A Dream Rally" Have Booked Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz To Provide The Music

Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck Organizers of D.C.'s "I Have A Dream Rally" Have Booked Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz To Provide The Music

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The two organizers of the Washington D.C. "I Have A Dream" rally Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin have expressed a little bit of concern that some people, and not just African-Americans, but Norwegians, Peruvians, Asians, and some Amish...
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Funny story: Mascherano Signs for Barcelona's Deaf Contingent

Mascherano Signs for Barcelona's Deaf Contingent

After weeks of debate, spat dummies, brinkmanship and multi-million pound offers for the diminuative Argentinean defensive midfielder; Javier Mascherano has finally agreed to 'sign' for Barcelona. Apparantly, Barcelona has one of the highest conti...
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Funny story: Slob Husband: "I'm protected by religious law"

Slob Husband: "I'm protected by religious law"

Allan Homgrund of Sioux Falls, IA says it's a shame his wife doesn't respect his religious beliefs. His wife Katy claims that Homgrund is a slob, leaving dirty underwear on the living room floor and spilling beer on the carpet, which he asser...
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Funny story: Ringo Starr's Advise For Adult Diaper Rash!

Ringo Starr's Advise For Adult Diaper Rash!

Hello. Hello. Hello. "Will you still feed me, will you still need me, when I'm sixty four?" Remember that? A big hit for me and the boys. But now that I'm 70, I'd like to pass along a little "Help from my friends". I'm talking about adult diaper rash and it's a serious subject. You could lose you family jewels through infection. Here goes: Keep the skin dry with powder and make sure the s...
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Funny story: FDA Finds E. Coli in EPA

FDA Finds E. Coli in EPA

WASHINGTON DC - After the EPA agreed to consider banning lead bullets, the FDA completed their investigation of EPA. The findings of the FDA investigation cited evidence of E. coli present in the mountain of SH*T that the EPA considers to be in th...
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Funny story: Man Still Honors Promise to Almost Girlfriend

Man Still Honors Promise to Almost Girlfriend

It's been 30 years, but Allen Parswitz still remembers it like it was yesterday. And it might as well have been, thanks to an unfortunate commitment he made to a virtual stranger he met on a party line in August of 1980. When a girl Parswitz kn...
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Funny story: It's New, It's Exciting: It's CarC*ck, The Love-Lumber for your Luggage Rack.

It's New, It's Exciting: It's CarC*ck, The Love-Lumber for your Luggage Rack.

Overweight nerds with six-figure incomes and short c-list celebrity-types rejoice; a new company will allow you to take to the streets in a stunning phallic representation, at 1/3 to 1/2 the cost of an International CXT Pickup. Did You Know? That...
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Funny story: Jimmy Fallon Replaces Obama in White House and No One Notices

Jimmy Fallon Replaces Obama in White House and No One Notices

To many, Jimmy Fallon is one of the best celebrity impressionists in show business today. In order to prove just how effectively he can impersonate someone, his agent set up a gig for him that had him serving as President of the United States while P...
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Funny story: Chipmunk Arrested For Impersonating Obama

Chipmunk Arrested For Impersonating Obama

Not since the movie Caddy Shack has a rodent created such havoc. Chipmunks, like most mammals, cannnot be easily stereotyped. Mostly by their appearance, they are identified as being somewhat arrogant and mischievious. Here, in the snooty encl...
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Funny story: There is No God: Selena Gomez Vid Hits 60 Million Views on Youtube.

There is No God: Selena Gomez Vid Hits 60 Million Views on Youtube.

Card-carrying, water-dunking Born-Agains are spitting their eucharist into the sink after Youtube announced definitive proof that God does not exist: Selena Gomez's music Video for her song "Naturally" has been viewed sixty-million times.Did You K...
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Funny story: President Obama Honors Katrina as "The Most Successful Hurricane Of All Time"

President Obama Honors Katrina as "The Most Successful Hurricane Of All Time"

VINEYARD HAVEN, Mass. - President Barack Hussein Obama will use the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina to honor it as "The Most Successful Hurricane Of All Time". Obama will end his tenth vacation in three months to head for New Orleans to cel...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Claims She Can Be as Apolitical as the Next Politician

Sarah Palin Claims She Can Be as Apolitical as the Next Politician

As Glenn Beck's sidekick for Saturday's highly-hyped event "Restoring Honor Rally" expected to draw lots of white people to the nation's capital on the 47th anniversary of one of the most significant events in black history, Sarah Palin says for that...
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Funny story: Tiger's game improves so he can pay ex-wife

Tiger's game improves so he can pay ex-wife

Tiger Woods is playing great golf again, and it is leaving a lot of people scratching their heads. "I picked up my game because I need to pay the bills. It is as simple as that," Tiger Woods said to reporters on Thursday. Tiger Woods isn't ly...
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Funny story: Dickwad Now Applies to All Politicians, Male and Female Alike

Dickwad Now Applies to All Politicians, Male and Female Alike

It is official. According to the results of a recent survey conducted by the non-partisan political polling group known as NMWIOWSF (No Matter Who's In Office We're Still Fu*ked), America is being run by a bunch of dickwads. There was no indication t...
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Funny story: Baby tiger found in airport bag, Mary Bale may be involved

Baby tiger found in airport bag, Mary Bale may be involved

Airport customs in Bangkok found a two-month-old tiger stashed in a bag, filled with stuffed tiger toys, which was checked-in for an international passenger flight, authorities said on Friday. Mary Bale, who is currently under police guard, althou...
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Funny story: Cat Woman Mary Bale 'Might Have' History

Cat Woman Mary Bale 'Might Have' History

Mary Bale, the bank worker that 'inadvertantly' placed a cat in a wheelie bin in Coventry this week, is to be further investigated by police after it was alleged by local people that she 'may have' a history of mistreating animals. Bale, 45, was s...
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Funny story: Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

Peoples Republic of Merseyside - Liverpool Finally Gets Self Determination

"We're not English, we're Scouse" has been the mantra for decades and in a defiant act sure to infuriate the middle class shandy drinking homo's in the South of England; Liverpool have finally woken up the fact that they are much better off (and inde...
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Funny story: Doc Martin Did Not Deliver The Cameron Baby

Doc Martin Did Not Deliver The Cameron Baby

Port Wenn, Cornwall - Local GP, Doctor Martin Ellingham today stiffly denied that he had officiated at the birth of the Cameron baby earlier this week as he addressed hordes of pressmen on the doorstep of his surgery. Doc Martin - as the locals ca...
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Funny story: Sal Monella Rescued By Jersey Devil

Sal Monella Rescued By Jersey Devil

Federal agents and detectives from the American KFC, surrounded a house in Little Egg Harbor last night. A small township in Ocean County, NJ. They wanted to question the lone resident at the property. A ninety year old who is the only living relativ...
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Funny story: Donkey Found In Wheelie Bin Near Mary Bale's House

Donkey Found In Wheelie Bin Near Mary Bale's House

In what may yet turn out to be a 'copycat incident', police say that a donkey has been found stuffed into a wheelie bin in the same area of Coventry in which cat-dumper Mary Bale lives, sparking speculation that she may have been at it again. The...
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Funny story: Hitler uniform wins Catholic school fancy-dress show in Perth, Australia!

Hitler uniform wins Catholic school fancy-dress show in Perth, Australia!

A Catholic school in Australia held a fancy-dress contest for mums and dads and the child dressed as Hitler won it hands down and right arm up! The majority of parents voted for the slightly controversial uniform and it won ahead of the second pla...
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Funny story: Pakistan Flood - Taleban Score Another Spectacular Own Goal

Pakistan Flood - Taleban Score Another Spectacular Own Goal

The Taleban scored yet another spectacular own goal in their quest for global domination this week when they threatened to kill foreign aid workers attempting to bring relief to victims of the Pakistan floods. Islamic fundamentalists continally le...
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Funny story: Cats Gather Outside Mary Bale House

Cats Gather Outside Mary Bale House

Police in Coventry say that "thousands of cats" have started to gather outside the home of Mary Bale, the woman who was seen by billions of internet users dumping a cat in a wheelie bin for fun. The cats have been sidling up to the Bale residence...
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Funny story: BT's Adam & Jane - Voters Demand Credit

BT's Adam & Jane - Voters Demand Credit

Telecomms giant BT is in trouble with customers who expect credit for choosing the direction of the TV advertising campaign for their broadband service. The campaign features the developing relationship between divorced mother-of-two Jane and bach...
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Funny story: Labour Leadership Campaign Slumbering on

Labour Leadership Campaign Slumbering on

The competition to overcome watching paint dry as being the most boring experience has been challenged by the contest by the five candidates to become Leader of the Labour Party. According to insiders one of the Miliband brothers is likely to win,...
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Funny story: Big Brother - "So Shit It's Unbelievable" - Says Buffty Ginslinger

Big Brother - "So Shit It's Unbelievable" - Says Buffty Ginslinger

Big Brother, Big Brother The Ultimate - it all makes very little difference to Skoob Entertainment News showbiz correspondent Buffty Ginslinger, who has slammed the show from its inception as; "So shit, it's unbelievable." Filing his latest report...
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Funny story: GOP Out of Closet: "Who'd of Thunk it?"

GOP Out of Closet: "Who'd of Thunk it?"

When news of Ken Mehlman's declaration that he was gay was announced yesterday, no one was more shocked than those that had met him at gay bars all across the country. "The dude said he was doing research," said one gentleman that met him at a gay ba...
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Funny story: Prison Warders Oppose Drugs Crackdown

Prison Warders Oppose Drugs Crackdown

Prison warders at some of England's largest prisons have threatened a long term walk-out over plans to increase drug testing and searching in their prisons. An inside spokeswoman told Spoof, "Warders are at the lowest end of the pay scale and if t...
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Funny story: Cat Found In Wheelie Bin With Vuvuzela Stuck Up Its Arse

Cat Found In Wheelie Bin With Vuvuzela Stuck Up Its Arse

Animal Rights campaigners are up-in-arms tonight after a cat in Coventry, West Midlands, was found in a wheelie bin with a World Cup-style vuvuzela shoved right up its little arse. The cat, Tabby, was discovered by its owner, Maud Grimsdyke, after...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton's Burglar Parada's Confession Using the Bed Bug Defense

Paris Hilton's Burglar Parada's Confession Using the Bed Bug Defense

Yesterday Nathan Lee Parada, 31, was arrested outside of Paris Hilton's home in the gated community of Mulholland Estates. How did he get over the gates? Was it an inside job? If it was a burglary why did Nathan Lee Parada knock on the front door and...
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Funny story: Stench: Chapter 2

Stench: Chapter 2

Chapter 2 I really should mention a little about myself, after college I went home to Madagascar for a break from academia and the stress of watching way too many people doing way too much for way too little. College should expand the mind not shut it down or worse, program it. I find the whole idea of spending thousands of dollars on college way too bizarre of a concept. No one has yet given m...
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Funny story: Loonies In Power - LIP Service

Loonies In Power - LIP Service

The Monster Raving Loony Party has recently decided to name its five key people who are behind the running of the party as Glory, Moron, Navy, Penis and Tart. This will enable key elements of the party's manifesto and policies to come over to the gen...
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Funny story: Heidi Montag's Plastic Gate Update - She Says She Is Afraid Her Nose Will Fall Of Like Michael Jackson's Did

Heidi Montag's Plastic Gate Update - She Says She Is Afraid Her Nose Will Fall Of Like Michael Jackson's Did

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, California - Heidi Montag was in The San Fernando Valley to purchase some peaches so she could make her favorite desert Caramelized Peach Cobbler Parfait. When asked how she was doing she replied that she was doing very bad si...
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Funny story: Wigan Chairman in Google Shock

Wigan Chairman in Google Shock

Wigan Athletic chairman, Dave Whelan, was stunned after discovering the true nationalities of his playing staff. Whelan, a former Miss Blackburn and owner of DFS Fitness Warehouse, downloaded the popular Google Earth application to see if his own hea...
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Funny story: MI6 cryptographer death 'waterboarding' clues?

MI6 cryptographer death 'waterboarding' clues?

London - (Espionage Mess): Was the dumping of Gareth Williams' body in a safe house bath a deliberate coded signal? MI6 Internal Affairs today dismissed the symbolism as cranky, although controversial Iraq waterboarding dossiers remain strictly of...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Sets Her Sights On Russell Brand

Miley Cyrus Sets Her Sights On Russell Brand

And if she isn't, she should be. So says eccentric English film producer/director Buffty Ginslinger, speaking from a seedy central London pub as he swilled large G&T's and sucked on a Benson in open defiance of the smoking ban. Ginslinger r...
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Funny story: Slayer To Release Covers Album

Slayer To Release Covers Album

Slayer, the seminal Bay Area thrash metal superstars, are to release a new album of cover songs this autumn. The four piece band, whose songs include 'Reign In Blood', 'Dead Skin Mask' and 'God Hates Us All', have decided to re-record some of thei...
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Funny story: I was fired from Hooters

I was fired from Hooters

It is true. I was fired from my job at Hooters last week because my boobs were considered to be too small. I have been suffering from pain in my shoulder area and have been visiting my doctor on a regular basis. He did not have a problem examining my boobs and did not see why Hooters would have felt it necessary to fire me. My boobs are natural and I have NOT had any surgery. OK...I do ad...
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Funny story: "Tahoe Bar and Girl" Features Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear

"Tahoe Bar and Girl" Features Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear

Admitting to creating a play on words twice in the same sentence, Nevada real estate developer and entrepreneur, Manny Slongenhard, will be opening a new multi service entertainment establishment in Lake Tahoe next spring called the Tahoe Bar and Gir...
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Funny story: Big boobed Chantelle 'heart aches' for Preston. Doc says, "Boobs too big."

Big boobed Chantelle 'heart aches' for Preston. Doc says, "Boobs too big."

Its all go in the Big Booby Brother house, Nadia has them, Makosi has them and then Chantelle went out and got some too. But now Chantelle has revealed that she regrets having a boob job after she got divorced from Preston. She was heard to say "...
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Funny story: Sex and the City - 2

Sex and the City - 2

The mood is set…The city is New York…The money is flowing…The locales of Madisson city and Times Square are breathtaking… Now for the real, honest review- Sex and the City -2 tackles many relevant social issues such as the status of women if men who hold power in society let them hold the same power, should you hire a nanny for your kids who wears a bra, or one who doesn't, Whether you should h...
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Funny story: Villa's Nightmare Returns

Villa's Nightmare Returns

Aston Villa crashed out of Europe to Rapid Vienna for the second year running, in desperate bid to maintain some level of normality at the tumultuous Birmingham club. After Martin O'Neill's latent boredom rose to the surface, forcing him to quit,...
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Funny story: Drugged Tiger Cub Rescued by Thai Police in Soft Toy Horror

Drugged Tiger Cub Rescued by Thai Police in Soft Toy Horror

Poor Little Tyke Was Bleary-eyed and Stank of Booze, says Eye Witness. The soft toy world is reeling in shock following reports of a second scandal in three days. Earlier this week Australian police seized a British teddy bear caught behaving susp...
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Funny story: That's It, I'm Ready for a New Way to Reproduce

That's It, I'm Ready for a New Way to Reproduce

I've had it up to here with the way you have kids in this world. You'd think by now we could come up with a way to get a family without having to bring into the picture a lazy slob who wants to sit in front of the TV all day and make comments about even bigger slobs who wear tights and slap each other around on the rear. I mean, that's the kind of thing you have to put up with just to bring into e...
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Funny story: Hog Jaw Restaurant has new item added to menu

Hog Jaw Restaurant has new item added to menu

Yes, it's true. The Hog Jaw Restaurant has, indeedy, added a new item to its menu. This is, indeed, a great surprise to residents of Hog Jaw, who have lovingly enjoyed choosing from the five items on the regular menu for over three decades. T...
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Funny story: Putin puts on macho media roadshow crossbow fiasco

Putin puts on macho media roadshow crossbow fiasco

Russia's Prime Minister for life, Vladimir Putin has given his latest display of machismo - this time tracking endangered whales. Speeding across rough Pacific waters with his weapon in his hand, Mr Putin managed a media double whammy by enhancing...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight residents appeal to Dr. Phil for help with unruly teenagers

Isle of Wight residents appeal to Dr. Phil for help with unruly teenagers

Residents of The Isle of Wight have turned to the media to assist them in handling their 'out of control' teenagers. They have contacted 'Dr Phil', the American Talk-Show host with over 30 years' of experience dealing with whatever comes his way. Dr. Phil has agreed to visit the Isle of Wight, with his crew, wife and 'top of the line psychologists' in an attempt to offer a glimmer of hope to...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News Teenager Grounded

Isle of Wight News Teenager Grounded

For the first time in the history of The Isle of Wight, a teenager has been 'grounded'. It sounds like a scene from an American movie. A mother, Gwenny Limbert, has found the strength to 'ground' her daughter, Ann, for a week. When interviewed for the IOW News Gwenny admitted that she was feeling a little bit over-awed after watching a recent episode of the American show 'Dr PHIL'.
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Funny story: News from Nowhere

News from Nowhere

Terry's Dad was in good form. He had just completed a soduko puzzle and smiled happily at Penny as she came through the door. 'I've just come from nowhere.' said Penny. 'Better than here.' 'Sure. I realy liked the idea in that book 'News from Nowhere' you lent me, of turning the Houses of Parliament into a gigantic facility for manure.' 'Yes. That's one of William Morris's best ideas.
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Funny story: Radical cures for Obesity

Radical cures for Obesity

The growing popularity of operations to deal with the obesity problems besetting some over large people have caused a business man to put forward schemes he feels would be more straightforward, and very effective. 'We have ample hotel vacancies in...
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Funny story: London 2012 Olympics threatened by British Gun laws

London 2012 Olympics threatened by British Gun laws

David Cameron has said that he will not be altering the British gun laws ahead of the 2012 Olympics in London. The gun laws outlaw the firing of any kind of firearm other the shotguns on grouse hunts, and prohibit the importing of guns into the count...
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Funny story: War Of Words Brewing In Real Ale World

War Of Words Brewing In Real Ale World

A schism is developing in the beer world - about the image of real ale lovers. In-fighting within long-time protector of Britain's real ale traditions, the Campaign for Real Ale (CamRa) threatens to break out into war, with the creation of a rival...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck Believes He's More Popular than Jesus AND the Beatles

Glenn Beck Believes He's More Popular than Jesus AND the Beatles

Glenn Beck originally attacked John Lennon posthumously for his quote "We are more popular than Jesus now." However, Beck recently admitted he now knows exactly what Lennon was referring to when he said those words. Beck now believes that not only is...
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Funny story: Outed former GOP head: "If you can't beat 'em, join em!"

Outed former GOP head: "If you can't beat 'em, join em!"

WASHINGTON, D.C.-Former Republican National Committee Chairman and George Bush's 2004 re-election campaign manager Ken Mehlman outed himself as a gay man Thursday, disclosing to reporters that he feels the GOP's opposition to gay rights is doomed...
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Funny story: Scientists Find Super-Earths; Regular Earth Way Bummed

Scientists Find Super-Earths; Regular Earth Way Bummed

Scientists revealed Thursday that a seven-planet solar system located 127 light-years away in the constellation Hydrus may include multiple super-earths that would dwarf our puny excuse for a celestial body in comparison. Earth, already plagued wi...
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Funny story: Two Thousand Dead Passengers Recovered At Helicopter Crash Site

Two Thousand Dead Passengers Recovered At Helicopter Crash Site

Early this morning a helicopter that left Yeager airport in West Virginia was lost from the radar and never reached it's destination. Now news is coming out that the helicopter crashed in an isolated area of the Appalachian mountains near the Kentuck...
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Funny story: WWE McMahon announces Mel Gibson signing

WWE McMahon announces Mel Gibson signing

WWE boss, Vince McMahon announced this morning that he is to sign Australian actor, Mel Gibson to a three year wrestling contract. Part time actor- full time racist- Mel, is said to be, "overjoyed" with the opportunity. Gibson will debut some...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Meltdown Occurs at Ventnor Dairy

Isle of Wight News - Meltdown Occurs at Ventnor Dairy

Residents of Ventnor were evacuated to Shanklin and Sandown this morning as the Favourable Dairy experienced a meltdown. The meltdown is reported to have occurred due to an operator in the control booth falling asleep during the night shift causing cooling rods in the butter vat to overheat causing a chain reaction in the butter which quickly escalated into an out of control critical situation...
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Funny story: Last American Optimist Finally Defeated

Last American Optimist Finally Defeated

Jennifer Doogan had always looked at the glass as being half full, even in the most dire situation. Wednesday's events show that even the most positive people have a breaking point. Ladies and Gentlemen, America has officially eliminated the last o...
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Funny story: "The damage they have caused me and WikiLeaks is enormous,"

"The damage they have caused me and WikiLeaks is enormous,"

Mr. Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks', on Thursday said that the handling of rape and molestation allegations against him by Swedish prosecutors has caused enormous damage to his person. "Currently there are millions of websites around the world...
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67
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50
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69
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40
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46
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46
31st
53
 

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