Funny story: Benches That Have Spikes A Pain In The Ass!

Benches That Have Spikes A Pain In The Ass!

A report that park officials in China have found a way to keep people from sitting on their park benches for hours while others stay on their feet has been solved by placing meters by the bench. If a coin isn't placed in after 20-30 minutes, small sp...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Ashes To Ashes third series to be filmed in Cowes

Isle of Wight News - Ashes To Ashes third series to be filmed in Cowes

Makers of the detective time traveling drama on BBC1 have decided that filming Ashes To Ashes in London is far too expensive. Finding places that look like the are still in the eighties, or dressing up sites to make them look more eighties-like, is b...
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Funny story: Look Out Males, Miley Has Announced Her Split With Liam Hemsworth!

Look Out Males, Miley Has Announced Her Split With Liam Hemsworth!

According to the latest Hollywood update, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are calling it quits. You know what that means. She's on the prowl once again and will haul you off to daddy's place any day now. Some say she sucks all the juice out of t...
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Funny story: Preston proposes to Chantelle again on Ultimate Big Brother

Preston proposes to Chantelle again on Ultimate Big Brother

Ordinary Boys singer Samuel Preston has proposed to serial wag Chantelle Houghton for the second time after the couple had been married and divorced. The romantic gesture happened in the final series of Ultimate Big Brother currently screening on...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert & Partner Drake LaBry To Marry Within A Few Weeks

Adam Lambert & Partner Drake LaBry To Marry Within A Few Weeks

The latest on singer Adam Lambert is that he and his on again, off again partner (Pun intended) is that they may become one of the couples to get hitched in San Francisco in the next few weeks, as soon as they can get a ruling. "If it doesn't, we'...
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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Turns Justin Beiber Into, Sex Slave/Boy Toy

Kim Kardashian Turns Justin Beiber Into, Sex Slave/Boy Toy

After a recent photo shoot for Elle magazine. Justin Beiber became infatuated with Kim Kardashian's, badonkadonk. Justin just couldn't get over Kim's rear end. It appears he is totally fixated on her butt and can't think of anything else. Kim has...
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Funny story: Naked Couple Arrested For Burglary After Filming Themselves Having Sex!

Naked Couple Arrested For Burglary After Filming Themselves Having Sex!

Seattle, Washington police had an easy time identifying a naked couple who broke into a house and filmed themselves having sex, because they left the camera behind. However, just to be on the safe side, the police picked out seven other couples an...
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Funny story: Jennifer Aniston Condemned For Retard Remark!

Jennifer Aniston Condemned For Retard Remark!

Jennifer Aniston is under a major attack from a disability group for using the word "retard" in a TV interview yesterday. Aniston was talking about dressing up as her favorite heroine, Barbra Streisand, for the upcoming issue of Harper's Bazaar on...
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Funny story: Barclays Bank In Bonkers Protest

Barclays Bank In Bonkers Protest

A couple mounting a protest outside a high street bank claim that the British public is being misled by TV advertising. Ken and Liz Bonkers began their protest after a visit to their local Barclay's with an inquiry about the Barclaycard contactles...
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Funny story: Queen throws a sickie as baby-brain Camerons head for annual Balmoral bash

Queen throws a sickie as baby-brain Camerons head for annual Balmoral bash

Scotland - (Rioters): Sudden terminal ingrowing toenail syndrome has hit the Queen this weekend. Three relentless gaga-googoo days in the company of the PM and family has seen HM sicken for something. Courtiers say it was bad enough when Cherr...
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Funny story: UN fears new catastrophe

UN fears new catastrophe

The way cats have been catapulted into public awareness throughout the world, due to the dastardly act of Mary Bale, when she put lovely Lola in a wheelie bin, is worrying the Police on every continent. Copycat acts of cruelty are feared and rumpu...
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Funny story: More Rain Forecast - Bank Holiday Umbrella Weekend Looming

More Rain Forecast - Bank Holiday Umbrella Weekend Looming

With a bank holiday weekend looming, the Met Office is forecasting rain, a bit more rain, followed by thundery showers, prolonged spells of wet weather, and then more rain. It will probably feel a bit colder than the seasonal average too. And p...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Defends Dr. Laura Schlessinger By Telling Her "Don't Retreat - Reload!"

Sarah Palin Defends Dr. Laura Schlessinger By Telling Her "Don't Retreat - Reload!"

REINDEER NUTS, Alaska - Sarah Palin speaking before members of the wildlife group known as Alaskans For The Stalking, Shooting, Skinning, and Sauteing of Moose was asked what she thought about Dr. Laura Schlessinger's recent racist diatribe and bigot...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Il back on the dating scene?

Kim Jong Il back on the dating scene?

North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il was spotted recently on a what looked like a secret date with another notorious dictator and alleged supermodel, Naomi Campbell. The celebrity pair was apparently seen holding hands at Drayton Manor Park, in Tamwor...
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Funny story: 'Liverpool Are Getting Worse, Year By Year' - Jose Mourinho

'Liverpool Are Getting Worse, Year By Year' - Jose Mourinho

"You Can't Buy History" stated the flag at the recent Manchester City v Liverpool fixture - which City won 3-0 - but detractors insist that Liverpool have been living on past glories for far longer than most of their most ardent supporters would care...
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Funny story: Democrats and Republicans Unite Against Teabaggers

Democrats and Republicans Unite Against Teabaggers

WASHINGTON, DC - As incumbents from both sides of the isle realize that most Americans despise them, they are now uniting against America's best hope - the TEA-Party. In a joint news conference today, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Senate Mino...
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Funny story: Pound to be replaced by the vole

Pound to be replaced by the vole

The government is to introduce a new vole-based economic strategy, in an effort to address its flagging popularity. David Cameron told a puzzled press conference: "We have decided to widen the scope of the Big Society by including small rodents. T...
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Funny story: Scientist Discovers Cooties are Real not Imaginary

Scientist Discovers Cooties are Real not Imaginary

A highly respected entomologist in Denmark has been studying the phenomenon of Cooties for decades and has finally ascertained that the little critters actually exist and claims he can prove it. Dr. Sven Uppenyoursen used his own grandchildren as...
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Funny story: Deal or No Deal becomes government policy

Deal or No Deal becomes government policy

George Osborne has announced a new direction for the government's economic policy. Hardly able to talk through his tears, he told a hushed press conference today: "It's no use - nothing we do works, and everyone criticises us." "I talk to the best...
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Funny story: Man's Joy At GCSE Results

Man's Joy At GCSE Results

A Manchester man awoke yesterday to the life changing news that he had achieved a whopping 10 A stars in his GCSE results. Binman, Stu Dent, 39, from Salford now plans to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a neuro surgeon. Mr Dent said "I le...
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Funny story: Keith Olbermann Announces 174th Day of Mind-Numbing Ordinariness in Columbus, Ohio

Keith Olbermann Announces 174th Day of Mind-Numbing Ordinariness in Columbus, Ohio

As every viewer of the Keith Olbermann show knows, at the very end of his show, he makes a point of counting down the days from when Bush declared "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq, the beginning of the Iraq war, and more recently, the day of the oil ri...
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Funny story: Cheryl Cole invited to join government

Cheryl Cole invited to join government

Cheryl Cole is set to add another string to her impressive bow as she enters the government as Minister for Celebrity. A spokesperson for the government said: "We decided to create the Ministry for Celebrity as we realised that we needed a departm...
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Funny story: Sexy Singer Kylie Minogue Wins Over The America's Got Talent Audience

Sexy Singer Kylie Minogue Wins Over The America's Got Talent Audience

HOLLYWOOD - As America's Got Talent Host Nick "The Pogo Stick" Cannon watched from off stage he knew that the Australian singing guest Kylie Minogue would be a hit. And judging from the reaction of the studio audience as well as from the three jud...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Horse Movement Restriction Lifted

Isle of Wight News - Horse Movement Restriction Lifted

The Horse Movement Restriction put in place in July due to the outbreak of Horse Immunoglobulin Virus has been lifted. The Council of the Isle of Wight have decreed that the outbreak has been contained, and is now only affecting horses in the sout...
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Funny story: Grubby Arthur Scargill Sacked by National Union of Mineworkers

Grubby Arthur Scargill Sacked by National Union of Mineworkers

In what must surely be a humiliating blow, slapheaded communist, Arthur Scargill, has been sacked by his own union - the National Union of Mineworkers. Thanks to his failed leadership during the 80's miners strikes, fatcat hands-in-the-till Scargi...
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Funny story: Arrest of fugitive Albanian spook chief 'unconnected' to murdered MI6 man Williams: report

Arrest of fugitive Albanian spook chief 'unconnected' to murdered MI6 man Williams: report

London - (Spysnatcher news): Ilir Kumbaro was arrested today on an extradition warrant for the kidnap and torture of three men in Tirana. The ex-Albanian intelligence service CEO had been hiding out in a Fulham council flat after successfully evad...
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Funny story: Crap happy Jappy chappy in sassy Brit bashing trashtalk happening

Crap happy Jappy chappy in sassy Brit bashing trashtalk happening

The "Shadow Shogun" has been shooting off at the mouth in an attempt to get some publicity ahead of his bid to become Japan's leader. The loony ex lefty spouted a stream of nonsensical non sequiturs that were so apropos of nothing that they appea...
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Funny story: Kerry Katona Kalls Time On Celeb Life

Kerry Katona Kalls Time On Celeb Life

PR and personal management gurus and magazine editors were panicking last night following the news that pain-in-the-arse Z-list sleb Kerry Katona was retiring from public life. They fear that the former Atomic Kitten's shock decision may influence...
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Funny story: Chilean Miners stuck for four months demand overtime

Chilean Miners stuck for four months demand overtime

The Chilean miners trapped after a mine collapsed on them have today demanded overtime at double the normal rate of pay. Trapped miner and Union leader Mr Juan Diagio said "We normally work nine to five thirty Monday to Friday with an hour off for...
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Funny story: Breast Insurance: It's For You

Breast Insurance: It's For You

This is going to sound strange, and in fact I can hardly bring myself to say it, but I just got my breasts insured. Okay, I said it was going to sound strange, but before you think I'm a nut, let me tell you what happened. So, I was having a meeting with an insurance agent-look, I'm getting up there in age, and I gotta start thinking about stuff like this-and he said, "You know, many wo...
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Funny story: The Bill Reprieved! Moves To Hog Jaw As Latest CSI.

The Bill Reprieved! Moves To Hog Jaw As Latest CSI.

Fans of doomed Brit cop show The Bill were celebrating last night following the announcement that it had been reprieved. Its new home will be Hog Jaw, Arkansas, USA. The ITV show, about the hard-pressed cops at Sun Hill nick in London, was set...
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Funny story: Next Japanese PM says "Brits are not nice, but OK as Prisoners of War"

Next Japanese PM says "Brits are not nice, but OK as Prisoners of War"

Ichiro Ozawa, the former secretary-general of Japan's ruling Democratic Party, also said he values US democracy but dismissed the American people as "simple-minded" He especially hates their television programs, like the Simpson's and has called...
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Funny story: TV's Alice Roberts Keeps Clothes On!

TV's Alice Roberts Keeps Clothes On!

Thinking man's TV crumpet Alice Roberts is facing a viewers' backlash over her new archaeology show. In the show, Digging for Britain, Dr Roberts visits archaeological sites around Britain and discusses the historical facts they reveal. But vie...
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Funny story: Indians sore at losing Ms Universe Title

Indians sore at losing Ms Universe Title

Indian Human Resource Development Minister Kapil Syllable is likely to face bricbats and catcalls from the Indian Opposition when Parliament reconvenes tomorrow. The nation is agitated that their hopeful to the Miss Universe Contest, a lady from Beng...
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Funny story: Gary Barlow And Robbie Williams Together Again - 'Not Worth The Wait' Say Fans

Gary Barlow And Robbie Williams Together Again - 'Not Worth The Wait' Say Fans

The much awaited single release by Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams - a sort of Brokeback Mountain, man-love buddy-buddy homage to something or other was greeted this morning by overwhelming indifference by fans. "Not really worth the wait," one fa...
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Funny story: Elin Nordegren Blames Harry Potter For Tiger Woods Divorce

Elin Nordegren Blames Harry Potter For Tiger Woods Divorce

Speaking exclusively to Hollywood Masters magazine, Elin Nordegren today denied that she was ever aware of her husband's indiscretions during their time together, but blamed the golf star's indiscretions on his Magic Wand. A source told us that Ti...
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Funny story: Spurs Brush Young Boys Aside In Favour Of Bigger Boys

Spurs Brush Young Boys Aside In Favour Of Bigger Boys

Champions League - White Hart Lane - On a wet Wednesday night there was jubilation in Tottingham as Spurs became the third London club to reach the Champions League group stages, although a side from the capital is yet to win the coveted trophy. S...
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Funny story: Pet Fashion Week in NYC Turns Chaotic, Dogs Protest

Pet Fashion Week in NYC Turns Chaotic, Dogs Protest

The Metropolitan Pavilion in Manhattan was the scene of a protest yesterday as a group of dogs barked, ran around, and refused to continue to participate in the various activities of Pet Fashion Week. Disgusted owners, frustrated spectators, and furi...
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Funny story: Axed Shirlena To Return To X-Factor Singing 'Crazy For You'?

Axed Shirlena To Return To X-Factor Singing 'Crazy For You'?

Axed X-Factor contestant Shirlena Johnson 30, should be allowed to return to the show singing something appropriately wacky, such as 'Crazy For You' by Madonna, or 'Crazy' by Patsy Chuppatti. So says Skoob News showbiz correspondent, Buffty Ginsli...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus' Shocking Confession: She Has Dumped Her Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth

Miley Cyrus' Shocking Confession: She Has Dumped Her Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth

HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus has confirmed reports that she has in fact dumped her Australian boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. The two first met on the set of the motion picture, The Last Song back in June of 2009. They quickly fell in love and became quite a...
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Funny story: Thinning The Herd: The Joaquin Medina Story

Thinning The Herd: The Joaquin Medina Story

Thank the good Lord for His wisdom: Whenever the collective intelligence of a particular herd drops perilously low, Nature will find a way to thin the herd, ensuring its survival. Such was the case of California ranch worker Joaquin Medina, 28, wh...
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Funny story: Omaha Man Believed to Be Last Demographic Hold-Out

Omaha Man Believed to Be Last Demographic Hold-Out

Marketers and researchers scratched their heads again this week as the most intensive efforts yet to profile an Omaha, Nebraska man once again proved futile. Roger Talmack, 33, a resident from Mason St. in Morton Meadows, is now believed to be the...
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Funny story: US Navy's Newest Headache: Terror Infant-ry

US Navy's Newest Headache: Terror Infant-ry

(UPIS) The oceanic divisions of the United States Armed Forces-the Navy, Marines, Coast Guard, and Seals (both Regular and Elephant)-could be facing a brand-new threat: killer anchor babies. The State Department today issued a warning detailing th...
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Funny story: "Cat Binning" becomes craze

"Cat Binning" becomes craze

Police are becoming concerned that a new craze called, "Cat Binning" is sweeping the nation's council estates. Participants in the craze, inspired by Coventry maniac- Mary Bale, walk their neighbourhood searching for cats to drop into bins. The c...
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Funny story: Catwoman To Deal With Cat Woman

Catwoman To Deal With Cat Woman

Catwoman, the fictional character associated with DC Comics' Batman franchise, has said she is "appalled" by the behaviour of the woman who dumped a cat in a wheelie bin, and intends to "deal with her personally." The woman who threw the cat into...
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Funny story: Cat Woman Mary Bale Inundated With Job Offers

Cat Woman Mary Bale Inundated With Job Offers

Mary Bale, the woman who dumped a cat in a wheelie bin near her home in Coventry earlier this week, claims she has been inundated with job offers from people who feel they can no longer look after their feline companions. Bale, 45, claimed she slu...
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Funny story: Cat Woman Mary Bale "Sorry" For Mistake

Cat Woman Mary Bale "Sorry" For Mistake

Mary Bale, the evil, 45-year-old woman who threw a cat into a wheelie bin in Coventry this week, has admitted she made a monumental mistake in doing so, and says she will be a damned sight more careful next time. She told me: "It was a monument...
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Funny story: Hog Jaw's Newest Billionaire Interviewed

Hog Jaw's Newest Billionaire Interviewed

Little Rock AR: Fox News Channel reporter Bill O'Reilly held a short interview with Warren Smorgasbord, the newest and youngest, US billionaire at his offices overlooking the Arkansas River in this southern city. The overarching question was how did...
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Funny story: Cat Bin Woman To Face Prosecution From City Council For Putting Cat In Wrong Bin?

Cat Bin Woman To Face Prosecution From City Council For Putting Cat In Wrong Bin?

Mary Bale, the evil woman who dumped a cat into a wheelie bin earlier this week, is now to face prosecution from the city council for disposing of the pesky moggy into the wrong-coloured bin. The cat, Lola, was thrown into a green bin, which, acco...
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Funny story: US military begins Operation Buckshot Yankee

US military begins Operation Buckshot Yankee

US Defense officials have launched "Operation Buckshot Yankee" to replace dangerous USB drives with harmless 3.5" floppy disks. Air Force cargo planes that once flew in Operation Iraqi Freedom, now deliver emergency supplies of floppy disks to air...
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