Funny story: Death of MI6 officer 'a clear case of suicide?'

Death of MI6 officer 'a clear case of suicide?'

London - (Stab-in-the-Back News): Spycatcher author Peter Wright must be spinning in his grave. The gruesome death of an MI6 officer in highly dubious circumstances reads like the 'KGB natural causes' chapter from his notorious 1985 memoir. Th...
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Funny story: Pole: 5 of 4 Amerikan Stewdents Think Math is Overated

Pole: 5 of 4 Amerikan Stewdents Think Math is Overated

WASHINGTON DC - A nu Gallop pole owt today shows that moste Amerikan stewdents think that math is a waist of tym. Wen axed "Is math impotent in ur lyf?" 92% ansered "no", 47% ansered "yes", 32% ansered "I dont no" and 27% ansered "I dont kar".
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Sports First Public Erection, Before, During and After Kim Kardashian Photo Shoot

Justin Bieber Sports First Public Erection, Before, During and After Kim Kardashian Photo Shoot

Dateline HollyWOOD - Jump back Mrs. Robinson, Kim Kardashian is in town. Apparently Justin Beiber was doing a very adult type photo shoot for Elle magazine. Kim Kardashian posed in lingerie with Justin. Justin, being only 16 years old, found it impos...
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Funny story: Fiscal Falsehoods

Fiscal Falsehoods

The Coalition Government is concerned that a biased so- called study by a group of dim witted economists, known as the Institute of Fiscal Studies could distract people from the birth of the Cameron's daughter. The think tank declared that the Gov...
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Funny story: Study Reveals Idiots are to Idiocracy what Stupid People are to Stupidty

Study Reveals Idiots are to Idiocracy what Stupid People are to Stupidty

Results from a recent study, done by Bob Hoskins University, has revealed that idiots are not necessary stupid, they are just idiotic. BHU was doing a study on stupid people and decided that idiots were so close to stupid, that they expanded their...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle To Perform For Pope When He Arrives In Britain

Susan Boyle To Perform For Pope When He Arrives In Britain

The British singing sensation Susan Boyle said Wednesday she feels humbled and honored and "a little bit nerkus" by the opportunity to sing for Pope Benedict XVI during his tour of Britain. The highly unlikely pop star who shot to global fame afte...
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Funny story: Community Unites against Big Society

Community Unites against Big Society

Nohope Estate, Slagheap, Northumberland: Our reporter accompanies Condescensia Smugspeak as she takes the Big Society initiative to this bleak repository for the underclass, several members of which are standing aimlessly around in the concrete open area outside the tower blocks. Three Youths are standing at some distance from and occasionally glaring at each other. Asking the name of the neare...
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Funny story: Prostitutes Hit Hard By Inflation, Offers Special 'Quicky' Rates

Prostitutes Hit Hard By Inflation, Offers Special 'Quicky' Rates

The recession in Las Vegas and Reno, Nevado has hit not only the casinos but the world's oldest profession extremely hard. To drum up business a bit more, prostitutes are now offering quickies at bargain prices. The same thing has happened in most...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt In A Rant Over Angelina's Lovemaking, BP Oil Leak!

Brad Pitt In A Rant Over Angelina's Lovemaking, BP Oil Leak!

Actor Brad Pitt went on another rant yesterday while being interviewed and had nothing good to say about anyone or anything. "You're all a bunch of buzzards! Looking for actors to report us whenever we take a piss!" is how it began, stated reporte...
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Funny story: British MP suffers malnutrition waiting for expense claim to be paid

British MP suffers malnutrition waiting for expense claim to be paid

Doctors have confirmed that a Labour MP who was rushed to a hospital in Chelsea is suffering from malnutrition. Dennis MacShane, a Labour MP and former Minister, related his condition to delays in the system of paying MPs' expense claims. McShane...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus, Britney, Lohan, Megan Fox Among Victims Of Fake Clinic

Miley Cyrus, Britney, Lohan, Megan Fox Among Victims Of Fake Clinic

A fake clinic just outside Los Angeles has been raided by the sheriff's department and five people taken in for questioning. Yes, these are the same crooks that set up the fake boutique in New York before, but they were already out of jail for that...
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Funny story: MI6 - Shock News

MI6 - Shock News

MI6 is desperate to keep the true facts about the death of secret agent Gareth Williams from the public. They fear a backlash could come from the unpleasant truth. However, your intrepid reporter risking everything in the interests of humanity, ca...
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Funny story: National Breast Appreciation Day Goes International in 2010

National Breast Appreciation Day Goes International in 2010

Originally sponsored by the National Institute of Plastic Surgeons based in Hollywood, California, several other international organizations and manufacturers have cupped their hands in support for International Breast Appreciation Day this coming Mo...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent: Prince Poppycock Performs Dressed As A Sailor, and Little Anna and Patryk Burn Up The Dance Floor

America's Got Talent: Prince Poppycock Performs Dressed As A Sailor, and Little Anna and Patryk Burn Up The Dance Floor

HOLLYWOOD - America's Got Talent Host Nick "The Yardstick" Cannon said that the competition is really heating up. The lucky man who is married to the extremely talented and sexy Mariah Carey said that two of the top acts are Prince Poppycock (PP)...
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Funny story: Abandoned alligators roam Northern American states searching for a rodent or two!

Abandoned alligators roam Northern American states searching for a rodent or two!

Abandoned alligators have been increasingly seen roaming the streets of several Northern US cities miles away from their normal environment. The abandoned alligators are now being used by state rodent/stray dog catchers to clean up the cities rod...
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Funny story: Kate Gosselin Reveals Her Secret Desire: She Wants A Man To Boss Her Around

Kate Gosselin Reveals Her Secret Desire: She Wants A Man To Boss Her Around

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin had just returned to her home after dropping off her eight kids at school which was filmed for an upcoming episode of Kate Plus 8. She was sitting in her living room watching a couple on one of the soap operas...
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Funny story: Her Name Was Lola!

Her Name Was Lola!

Scenes resembling those of an angry mob storming the Castle Dracula have broken out in a normally quiet cul de sac in Coventry after spinster,Mary Bale,59 was identified on CCTV dumping a cat named Lola into a wheelie bin! Animal lovers worldwide...
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Funny story: Red Rum 'found'

Red Rum 'found'

Residents in the sleepy town of Bedworth awoke today to find themselves at the centre of a mystery that has baffled police for over 30 years, as a residential garden was excavated following an anonymous tip off. Police were alerted to the house...
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Funny story: Hooters girls get sack because they're too "top heavy"!

Hooters girls get sack because they're too "top heavy"!

Hooters, the restaurant chain always "busting" at the seams with male punters attempting to have their food served from the opposite side of the table have decided to sack two of their waitresses for being too "top heavy"! The "busty wenches" were...
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Funny story: Hilary Duff Ruins Knees, Husband's Career by Yaffling His Yogurt Cannon.

Hilary Duff Ruins Knees, Husband's Career by Yaffling His Yogurt Cannon.

Have a nice week, Hilary? - Everyone knew that pop star embarrassment Hilary Duff ruined the career of Edmonton Oilers Center Mike Comrie after accepting a million-dollar engagement ring from him; until this weekend, however, we didn't know how. F...
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Funny story: Local Man Stunned By Wife's Arrival

Local Man Stunned By Wife's Arrival

A Leeds man was stunned yesterday when his wife came home from work at the usual time. Lorcan O'Twat was so surprised by the incident that he had to sit down and have a stiff whisky to revive himself. The incident occurred at around 6pm as Mr O...
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Funny story: Coventry going down the pan

Coventry going down the pan

Residents of a Coventry suburb awoke yesterday to the shock news that they had been flushed down the toilet over two years ago, following the death of a pet goldfish. This news came just two days after a Coventry woman was caught putting a cat int...
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Funny story: Rod Blagojevich to Auction Hair on Ebay

Rod Blagojevich to Auction Hair on Ebay

CHICAGO, IL - Rod Blagojevich announced today that he was auctioning his hair on Ebay to help pay for his next trial. When one reporter asked the ex-governor of Illinois why he wouldn't donate his hair to charity, Mr. Blagojevich responded: "I...
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Funny story: Two Old Woman Stuff Larry King Into Wheelie Bin & Seal Lid

Two Old Woman Stuff Larry King Into Wheelie Bin & Seal Lid

Caught on video surveillance, two unknown blue-haired old ladies are seen walking down the street and, upon meeting CNN's Larry King, looked around quickly, grabbed him by the suspenders and tossed him into a nearby Wheelie Bin in New York City. N...
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Funny story: Porn Shops in Baghdad: "Mission Accomplished"

Porn Shops in Baghdad: "Mission Accomplished"

The Baghdad Bulletin,Iraq's only English language newspaper is running with a banner headline this morning that reads: Porn Shops in Baghdad: "Mission Accomplished" "Finally," the article states, "American-style democracy comes to Iraq as por...
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Funny story: Stench: Chapter 1

Stench: Chapter 1

He couldn't find his nose. Sebastian Bremwalter, awoke this morning and it was no longer resting comfortably upon his face. The facial equivalent of his manhood for thirty-five years was now missing and it felt very strange to say the least. His nose was present during his first sexual experience inhaling the scent of perfume and feminine rapture. His nose was present when the powerful aroma of sm...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Released Into the Wild

Lindsay Lohan Released Into the Wild

LOS ANGELES, CA - After what seemed like forever, Lindsay Lohan was released into the wild from her court-mandated rehabilitation at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles yesterday. Lindsay was like ordered by Judge Marsha Revel to serve 90 days in r...
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Funny story: Cat in a Wheelie Bin? ...What a Fuss!

Cat in a Wheelie Bin? ...What a Fuss!

Mary Beale, the bank worker captured on CCTV depositing a cat in a wheelie bin, defended her actions today by insisting that it was simply a prank. 'It was meant to be a laugh', she insisted earlier, 'I thought the cat would simply see the funny side...
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Funny story: Celebrities Flood To Help Pakistan

Celebrities Flood To Help Pakistan

Celebrities are lending their talents to help flood ravaged victims in Pakistan in the wake of the terrible rains recently. Katie Price was launched late last week, and it is hoped she will reach Pakistan sometime this week. She is hoping to provi...
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Funny story: Grandma's advice

Grandma's advice

'Hello, Penny. I'm glad to see you.' 'I'm glad to see you Grandma. How are you?' 'I'm alright if I take the right pills at the right time. If I'd lived in the 19th century I'd be dead by now.' 'You certainly would. You would have to be over 110.' 'No. I mean the progress in research has meant they can keep people alive who would have died from the same thing in the past.' 'So, in s...
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Funny story: Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Long thought to be different names for the same eternal and fiery destination, Florida pornography producer, polygamist and convicted drug smuggler, Bernie Smurphwank says "not so". During a recent golf event, Smurphwank was struck by lightning on t...
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Funny story: Barry George Bush blames police stitch-up

Barry George Bush blames police stitch-up

Fulham - (Forensic Mess): A wrongful imprisonment compensation appeal has heard Barry George Bush finger 'lunatics' in the Met for framing him in the Jill Dando murder case. George spent eight years behind bars because of 'trumped up' forensic evi...
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Funny story: British Military announce formation of 'Gay' Regiment

British Military announce formation of 'Gay' Regiment

Whilst the British military have allowed openly gay service for just over a decade, many gay soldiers serving in the armed forces continue to report widespread examples of bullying, intimidation and general 'mickey-taking'. In order to combat this...
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Funny story: Oil-Eating Microbe Attacking Swimmers

Oil-Eating Microbe Attacking Swimmers

Scientists have discovered a new oil-eating microbe in the Gulf of Mexico that seems to be flourishing. It appears to be gobbling up oil in the Gulf at a surprising rate and yet not depleting the water body's oxygen level. They are saying it is nothi...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight Research Sensation

Isle of Wight Research Sensation

Top Isle of Wight people have welcomed academic research which has established the geographical nature of the holiday destination. Research published by Ryde University yesterday proves that the island is completely surrounded by water. "This i...
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Funny story: India says Obama isn't American

India says Obama isn't American

New Delhi: Barak Obama may not be American, after all, according to India's Department of Human Resources. Even as the American president is set to visit India, the Ministry of HRD, popularly called Horrid Reactionary Duffers by the bemused publi...
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Funny story: Indian King was a Jew

Indian King was a Jew

Washington: In a press-conference that has jolted the East, the West, and the Holly Roler Catlik Church, Researchers in Alabama declared that the Great Emperor Asoka of India, was in fact, an Israeli spy for the Mossad. "It's very clear that A...
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Funny story: John Travolta Only Real Star on Dancing with the Stars this Season

John Travolta Only Real Star on Dancing with the Stars this Season

After all the drama caused by Kate Gosselin on Season 10 of Dancing with the Stars, the show's producers are looking for more of the same. Forget talent, forget fox trots done with finesse, the show is out to prove that if they (reality stars) can ca...
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Funny story: Mrs Schrödinger confirms Copenhagen interpretation, Mr Schrödinger furious.

Mrs Schrödinger confirms Copenhagen interpretation, Mr Schrödinger furious.

All merry heck has broken loose in the Schrödinger household since Mrs Schrödinger was caught on CCTV putting a cat in a box, allegedly in an attempt to shut her husband up. 'Oh he wouldn't stop banging on about it' stated a clearly irate Mrs Schr...
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Funny story: Betty White Up in Arms over Kate Gosselin's Salary

Betty White Up in Arms over Kate Gosselin's Salary

HOLLYWOOD, California - Every time a new article comes out spilling the beans on how much actors make on their respective series, someone gets a puss on. This time it's Betty White. After learning that the Situation earns $60,000 per episode of 'Jers...
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Funny story: Mass evacuation as Kerry Katona threatens to adopt child

Mass evacuation as Kerry Katona threatens to adopt child

In scenes reminiscent of World War 2 a mass evacuation of children to the countryside has begun following Kerry Katona's claim that she would like to adopt a child. "It's the only way to ensure the safety of our children" commented Home Secretary...
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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden ask US for flood relief assistance

Osama Bin Laden ask US for flood relief assistance

Osama Bin Laden has asked the American Government for assistance with flood relief in Pakistan. In an undated and unconfirmed taped statement found floating in the floodwaters of Pakistan, the Taliban leader pleaded to the kindness of the US Gover...
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Funny story: Men To be Abolished By 2013

Men To be Abolished By 2013

Have you watched the television recently? I mean really watched it? Actually taken notice of what the adverts are implying? Not just what they're selling you, but the way in which they put their point across? I have, and I have noticed an extremel...
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Funny story: Kent Man Sues Tommy Cooke For 'Ruined Holiday'

Kent Man Sues Tommy Cooke For 'Ruined Holiday'

A major holiday company is being sued by a holidaymaker from Kent, due to an alleged misleading advertisement for a family holiday, in it's brochure. Peter Biddle, 38, took his family to Crete for a week in July, and had what he describes as 'the...
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Funny story: A plea from the heart (and I ought to add the word VAGINA in order to get you to read this)

A plea from the heart (and I ought to add the word VAGINA in order to get you to read this)

Hi there! This is more than a magazine article....rather - it is a plea from my heart...yes...I have one....I just want to beseech you to 'embrace' the new writers (as you did when I joined the site) and welcome them to this wonderful site. OK....I know many of you do that already....thanks. Sometimes - stories of vaginas put some folk off....not ME...I quickly figured out who YOU were, you...
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Funny story: Bibi and Me at the Peace Talks

Bibi and Me at the Peace Talks

It's so nice of the State Department to send Imam Abdul Rauf, the "Ground Zero Imam" on a taxpayer paid goodwill tour through the Middle East. No doubt it's money well spent. Speaking in the capital of that country, Manama, Rauf loudly proclaimed that he's out to "Americanize Islam," What he exactly meant by this wasn't clarified. Some skeptics might say he was momentarily confused and meant t...
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Funny story: Son, I'm Not Happy You're Getting Laid Tonight

Son, I'm Not Happy You're Getting Laid Tonight

I'm sure you're surprised to see me here, but are you any more surprised than I am to see you here? What kind of a boy did I raise that he would end up in this house of ill repute on a Saturday night with his roughhousing friends? Haven't I always said they were bad influences on you? Now I have proof positive. And is that alcohol I smell on your breath? As for what I'm dong here, I'm tempted t...
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Funny story: A plea for stories on 'ear lobes' to take us away from vaginas for a while

A plea for stories on 'ear lobes' to take us away from vaginas for a while

I am so tired of reading stories about vaginas and penis(es| and am making a plea to writers to come up with some interesting takes on ear lobes. I have just read (or heard-I can't remember which) that if you have your earlobes made 'smaller' you will definitely look much younger. That would mean you may be more attractive to women (you guys) before they even catch a glimpse of your nethe...
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Funny story: One of the Ladettes

One of the Ladettes

The rise of the 'Ladette Culture' is causing problems. The binge drinking and casual unprotected sex indulged in by these young girls is causing problems. By imitating what they think men are like, they consider they are developing women's emancipati...
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Funny story: George Michael is Praying for time

George Michael is Praying for time

Jail time that is. Michael, real name Georgios Panayiotou, appeared amid heavy security at the magistrates' court after having been told that the next time he comes back, could mean for keeps, and the pop star couldn't be more delighted. 'I just n...
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Funny story: Greenland Drifts into Upper New York Bay

Greenland Drifts into Upper New York Bay

NEW YORK CITY, New York -- Scientists are surprised, but not completely surprised, by Greenland's arrival early Tuesday morning in the Upper New York Bay. Apparently, scientists had already been monitoring the progress of a massive island of ice m...
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Funny story: WNBA Playoffs and the loss of productivity

WNBA Playoffs and the loss of productivity

LOS ANGELES (LAT) - Hugh Rilcher understands that sales at his Raleigh Durham, NC.,-based mortgage lending company will dive with the start of the WNBA Playoffs set to begin on Wednesday. Instead of trying to convince workers to not check online f...
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Funny story: Weathergirl Reports Cold Front Headed for Texas without So Much as a Giggle

Weathergirl Reports Cold Front Headed for Texas without So Much as a Giggle

Dallas T-Vue Live-Eye Storm Team Meteorologist, Sally Cowley last Monday reported that a cold front was heading to Texas and was expected to reach the state later in the week. Ms. Cowley was able to give this forecast without the slightest giggle eve...
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Funny story: Fears of a Dr David Kelly-style postmortem cover-up as MI6 spook's body found in holdall

Fears of a Dr David Kelly-style postmortem cover-up as MI6 spook's body found in holdall

London - (Anna Chapman News): Murdered in his bath and then 'stufffed inside a large sports bag' is how police have described it. This morning the Pimlico flat of a dead MI6 officier was under tight wraps amid fears of a potential Establishment co...
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Funny story: J-Lo Releases Death Metal Album

J-Lo Releases Death Metal Album

Jennifer Lopez is hoping to be back in the charts this year with a new direction she describes as "shocking." Insiders tell us that this new direction is in fact deathgrind - a sub-genre of death metal that J-Lo came across on a trip to Norway rec...
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Funny story: Michael Cera to push acting range, play whiny teenager

Michael Cera to push acting range, play whiny teenager

LONDON (AFP) - While promoting his most recent film, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Michael Cera said he would like to take on more challenging teenager roles. In a television interview set to air on Wednesday on BBC, Cera had this to offer, "Where...
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Funny story: Govt urges people to boycott "Chess" because it's racist, classist and homophobic

Govt urges people to boycott "Chess" because it's racist, classist and homophobic

After the fiasco about banning Medal of Honour on the ground that it encourages players to kill British soldiers (even though there are apparently no British soldiers in the game), the government now wants people to stop playing chess! The governm...
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Funny story: History Review: Red Plenty, by Francis Spufford

History Review: Red Plenty, by Francis Spufford

Ken Lucid writes: In 1979, Leonid Vitalyevich Kantorovich shared the Nobel Prize for economics for his work on the optimal allocation of scarce resources. He pioneered the technique of linear programming, having developed the first model in 1939. Complete and utter bastard! By the time I was taking O-level maths, linear programming was on the syllabus and I hated it. Just could not get...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Arrested 45 Seconds After Release From Rehab

Lindsay Lohan Arrested 45 Seconds After Release From Rehab

Surprising absolutely no one, red-headed skank-pad Linsday Lohan was arrested less than a minute after being released from Rehab. "Lindsay Lohan had been released from the Neuropsychiatric Hospital," said an LAPD spokesperson. "And just seconds af...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Suffers Nip Slip at Exclusive Hamptons Resort

Hillary Clinton Suffers Nip Slip at Exclusive Hamptons Resort

Reporters are picking up a story being circulated among the hired help at an exclusive Hamptons, NY Resort where Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton and her husband, former President Bill Clinton vacationed this weekend. According to unofficial r...
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Funny story: Shocking! H&R Block Subsidiary Gives Bad Tax Advice, Costs Client $19 million.

Shocking! H&R Block Subsidiary Gives Bad Tax Advice, Costs Client $19 million.

Like a drunk freshman at a frat party, a billionaire hedge fund manager has been f--ked over by someone who promised not to hurt them. In this instance, the f--king cost the, er... f--kee nineteen million dollars. The cad who did the f--king? N...
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Funny story: Cat dumps 45 year old woman in bin - and posts video on YouTube

Cat dumps 45 year old woman in bin - and posts video on YouTube

There has been outrage among Human Rights organisations after a cat was seen dumping a 45 year old woman in a litter bin. The woman, Mary Bale, was effortlessly picked up by the moggy, shaken and unceremoniously dumped in the trash can in Coventry, w...
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Funny story: Rogue Astronomer Claims Mirror Effect Makes Universe Appear Infinite

Rogue Astronomer Claims Mirror Effect Makes Universe Appear Infinite

Danish Astronomer Olaf Spokking claims that the universe is not only not made up of millions of stars but that in reality, there are only about two or three other solar systems in the whole of space. Spokking believes that the mirror effect is respon...
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Funny story: Republican Leaders Using Too Much Pot

Republican Leaders Using Too Much Pot

There is worry in this country that too many in the Republican leadership have been smoking too much pot for too long. Evidence is mounting indicating that many of their leaders are suffering from short and long term memory loss. An example of th...
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Funny story: H&R Block Digs $1/2 Mil. Out Of Sofa Cushions, Spends It On Politicians

H&R Block Digs $1/2 Mil. Out Of Sofa Cushions, Spends It On Politicians

H&R Block Inc., the tax preparation company that has frozen DM raises for two years in a row because of "tough financial times", spent $500,000 in the 2Q of 2010 to lobby the US government to create a consumer financial protection agency and othe...
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Funny story: Turd-Kish looking Turkish Terrorist Prematurely Blows Himself Into Warm Back Hole

Turd-Kish looking Turkish Terrorist Prematurely Blows Himself Into Warm Back Hole

According to the Home Land Security office Moehavmudd Soilyuself, A Turkish terrorist entered the country in a suicide bomber mission, He arrived at Birmingham international airport in Alabama last week. From there, he was suppose to meet his accompl...
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Funny story: Saudi punishment for "Cat Binning" woman

Saudi punishment for "Cat Binning" woman

In a move that will please Saudi Arabia's justice system, the Coventry woman who threw a cat into a wheelie bin, will herself be thrown into a wheelie bin for fifteen hours. "It is a victory for common sense!" Said the cat's owner. Saudi Arab...
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