Funny story: Condemnation mounts of deadly talking guinea pigs

Condemnation mounts of deadly talking guinea pigs

ELDON IA - Mothers here are condemning local guinea pigs for killing thousands of kids. Organized packs of guinea pigs reportedly attacked Eldon, killing nearly 3,160 children, more than Eldon even has. Most of the victims were chewed beyond recognit...
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Funny story: Spate of deaths following vaccinations unrelated, FDA says

Spate of deaths following vaccinations unrelated, FDA says

FORT DETRICK, MD - FDA officials assured surviving citizens in the US that the spate of deaths following vaccinations were unrelated to the vaccinations. "Just because someone dies after being vaccinated, for all we know they would have lived a s...
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Funny story: Pamela Anderson Says She Is Returning Her Stimulus Package

Pamela Anderson Says She Is Returning Her Stimulus Package

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Actress, model, and succulent sex symbol Pamela Anderson has just stated that she will be returning the Presidential Stimulus Package check that she recently received in the mail. She said that luckily she does not need the money...
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Funny story: Three Restaurant Chains To Merge Due To Economy

Three Restaurant Chains To Merge Due To Economy

Three of the world's largest restaurant chains, each one the biggest in their food niche, have decided to merge due to the difficult economy. The change will become official at the beginning of 2010. The menus and marketing campaigns will also unit...
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Funny story: Missing Johnny Cash Song Discovered

Missing Johnny Cash Song Discovered

A long rumored song by Johnny Cash has been discovered in a trunk in Nashville, Tennessee. The song was supposedly the original lyrics to "I Walk The Line" and uses the same music. It is also a rare 1950's tune in support of the gay community. B...
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Funny story: Vatican Bans Erections On Sundays

Vatican Bans Erections On Sundays

Vatican City-- The Catholic Church now forbids erections on Sundays for all men over the age of eighteen. The new Papal Decree--officially called the Hardonicus Stopicus was issued by Pope Benedict XVI today. It is believed to be the most controver...
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Funny story: Obama sends Scareforce One to spring Polanski from Switzerland!

Obama sends Scareforce One to spring Polanski from Switzerland!

Washington - (Dead Kennedys Biz): Sure, it's been widely billed as a 20 hour round trip to Copenhagen's 2016 Olympic Games presentation show, ha ha. But is the White House really readying the Presidential runabout for a madcap dash to Denmark?...
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Funny story: Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon, Who's Gone!

Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon, Who's Gone!

TLCC has confirmed on Tuesday that Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be renamed "Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon Who's Gone", beginning in November. Reportedly it will continue to focus on the eight kids' lives but with a deeper focus on Kate's role as a singl...
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Funny story: Pen and Paper Becoming Rare

Pen and Paper Becoming Rare

Once a necessity in every household, recent studies have revealed that fewer than 1 in 25 homes today have a writing instrument and tablet available to write things down. Gone are the the days of to-do lists, which have been replaced by the much m...
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Funny story: Michelle to Dump Bam; Marry Harry

Michelle to Dump Bam; Marry Harry

In a story having grave implications for the traditional special bonds that unite the UK and the USA, Michelle Obama is reported to have kicked over the traces and become a cougar. With her sites on Prince Harry, the first lady has gleefully dumpe...
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Funny story: Retro-engineered UFO inspired Emperor Nero's rotating banqueting hall

Retro-engineered UFO inspired Emperor Nero's rotating banqueting hall

Rome - (X-Files): An astrologically aligned circular bonking hole, er...banqueting hall! - built for Rome's Emperor Nero bares all the hallmarks of a retro-engineered UFO according to archaeological reports. The Palatine Hill discovery forms part...
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Funny story: NY Times to Sell Publishing Operations

NY Times to Sell Publishing Operations

The New York Times Company has announced that it is seeking a buyer for its failing publishing operation. This follows in the footsteps of the news that Time Warner, Inc is considering selling its publishing operations, which include Time Magazine,...
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Funny story: Elephant charges crowd at Hindu ceremony

Elephant charges crowd at Hindu ceremony

Southern India: An elephant participating in a Hindu ceremony today surprised everyone by suddenly charging. Several people were injured in the confusion. Eye witnesses claim that the elephant began demanding 100,000 Rupees per person to watch hi...
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Funny story: Madonna to marry her baby, Jesus!

Madonna to marry her baby, Jesus!

Millions have flocked to a weeping Madonna as she announces she wishes to marry her baby, Jesus. Yes it's true, Madonna has decided to come clean and admitted she never really loved Joseph, left me "like a virgin" and then she told her Papa, "Papa...
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Funny story: MacKenzie Phillips To Dance With Len Goodman On Dancing With The Stars

MacKenzie Phillips To Dance With Len Goodman On Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Actress MacKenzie Phillips wrote a book about her years of working as a cleaning woman for her father's Hollywood housecleaning service. The ex-employee of the housecleaning service named The Mess Fixers has been asked to make a specia...
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Funny story: Saudi Hooligans lashed in public after rioting because they were listening to "Heavy Metal" music

Saudi Hooligans lashed in public after rioting because they were listening to "Heavy Metal" music

On a religious holiday in the Saudi Kingdom 20 odd youths/hooligans called the "SHITS" (SAUDI HOOLIGANS IN THOBES & SANDALS, scary!), dared to listen to "Heavy Metal" music and were promptly attacked by Saudi police. Being on the edge of Saudi...
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Funny story: Man Forced To Move House After Smell Of Neighbour's Fanny Becomes Unbearable

Man Forced To Move House After Smell Of Neighbour's Fanny Becomes Unbearable

An unemployed Dudley man has been forced to move out of his council house in the town because of the rancid smell of his next-door-neighbour's fanny, it has been reported. Reginald Dorkins had lived in the same rented accommodation for more than 4...
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Funny story: Conan O'Brien Bumps His Head Injuring His Cowlick

Conan O'Brien Bumps His Head Injuring His Cowlick

HOLLYWOOD - Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien, 46, was racing Teri Hatcher, 44, star of Desperate Housewives, on his show when she tripped him causing him to slip on the shiny, expensive, slippery Tonight Show stage. O'Brien, who was not wearing a h...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Claims She Wrote Book In The Nude

Sarah Palin Claims She Wrote Book In The Nude

Sarah Palin, the former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential candidate, has finished her memoir just four months after the book deal was announced, and the release date has been moved up from the spring of 2010 to Nov. 17, of 2009, her pu...
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Funny story: Birthers question Jesus place of birth-demand certificate

Birthers question Jesus place of birth-demand certificate

In a stunning announcement that surely will raise an outcry from many mainstream religeous leaders a spokesman for The Birther movement has isuead a statement that maintains that Jesus was not born in Bethlehem in Jerusalem as has been believed for...
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Funny story: President Obama Disrespects New York Governor Paterson

President Obama Disrespects New York Governor Paterson

BROOKLYN - President Barack Obama was in Brooklyn talking before an enthusiastic crowd of Presidential Stimulus Package Program Fund donors. He thanked them for their generous support and he assured them that every single dime that was donated wou...
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Funny story: Royal Rat Coronated

Royal Rat Coronated

Earlier today, its Royal Ugliness Pigcess Spahr (the three millionth) was coronated. The ceremony took place in the royal rathouse a.k.a. the shed. Many celebrities attended the event, including Priscara, the smelly queen of Mouseland, and the royal...
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Funny story: Conan O'Brien Back On Tonight After Getting Brained

Conan O'Brien Back On Tonight After Getting Brained

Talk Show host, Conan O'Brien was back on the Tonight Show last night even though the lick on his head he suffered still shows through the make-up. He attempted to turn his head-bashing accident last week into some laughs at his own expense by sho...
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Funny story: The Cuckoos Nest

The Cuckoos Nest

In 2010 the Houses Of Parliament is to be renamed The Cuckoos Nest. The House of Lords has decided that referring to the Houses of Parliament as "The Cuckoos Nest" is politically and legally acceptable because it is a very descriptive way of what...
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Funny story: The Many Loves Of John Edwards, 13 & Counting

The Many Loves Of John Edwards, 13 & Counting

A new bombshell exploded underneath two-timing presidential candidate, John Edward's ass yesterday when, upon the stand confessing to a special committee, Andrew Young stated under oath that the North Carolina Senator had as many as 13 mistresses.
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Funny story: Mandelson Speaks like a Girl

Mandelson Speaks like a Girl

Your ace spoof reporter covered the Labour Party Conference in Brighton yesterday and along with everyone else there was surprised that Peter Mandelson speaks like a little girl sparking rumours he is having hormone therapy before a sex change operat...
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Funny story: Paul's Mum Cautioned over Poo Policy

Paul's Mum Cautioned over Poo Policy

Police confirmed that they had issued a formal caution to Paul's Mum for allowing her son's friends to do a poo at her house. "The fact that she allows child bowel movements to take place in her home requires her to be a properly qualified and re...
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Funny story: Brown & Smellie On The Brighton Line

Brown & Smellie On The Brighton Line

On Monday 28th September, The Crown Prosecution Service decided that there is sufficient evidence to charge Police Sergeant Delroy (Tony) Smellie with the offence of assault by beating of Nicola Fisher on 2 April 2009 at a demonstration in the City o...
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Funny story: Chair Caning Workshop at the 4-H club tonight

Chair Caning Workshop at the 4-H club tonight

PARKER, CO - Come out to the Grange tonight and learn the art of chair caning this evening from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. in the main hall, invites 4-H club president, Mr. Unsbey Tingsey. The workshop is open to the public. Come early and either borrow a chair, or bring your own chair. If you bring $50.00, you can get your first pick. There will plenty of cane for everyone. This type of caning o...
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Funny story: Martha Stewart Lashes Out At Jessica Simpson For Losing Her Dog

Martha Stewart Lashes Out At Jessica Simpson For Losing Her Dog

NEW YORK CITY - Business magnate, entrepreneur, and TV host Martha Stewart has lashed out at Jessica Simpson for not watching her little dog more closely. Stewart who is 68, said that if Jessica had been watching her little pooch instead of worryi...
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Funny story: White House Issues Sheet Music to all School Teachers for Appropriate Hymns to Obama

White House Issues Sheet Music to all School Teachers for Appropriate Hymns to Obama

WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - The White House Office of Propaganda issued new guidelines for songs to be sung before classes begin in all schools in the US that receive Federal Education Funding. There is only one approved song allowed to be sung...
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Funny story: Denton Boy Runs When Texas Girl Shows Him Her Golden Triangle

Denton Boy Runs When Texas Girl Shows Him Her Golden Triangle

Tommy Staffless, a local Denton boy who went missing for two days and caused a statewide Amber alert, said that he ran away due to a little girl. Texas Department of Public Safety officers, Denton city police and county sheriff's departments, and vo...
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Funny story: Obama Says Stimulus is Working

Obama Says Stimulus is Working

Washington, D.C.-President Obama, today, claimed that the stimulus is working. The exchange took place at the daily press briefing, where the president made a surprise appearance to announce the resignation of one leftist, and the addition of another...
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Funny story: Environmental Republic of Gaia Declares Independence

Environmental Republic of Gaia Declares Independence

Santa Catalina CA: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has sold a two square mile corner of Santa Catalina Island to a group of extreme environmentalists for $42 billion. This amount exactly equals the state's current budget deficit. An int...
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Funny story: Jenny Slate F-word copy cat's in the news

Jenny Slate F-word copy cat's in the news

NEW YORK NY - You hear it on every news show now. Nicely dressed news bimbos dropping the F-word and then pretending to be embarrassed by it. Dr. Rudepey, staff psychologist to the Broadcasters network, told us to expect this for a few weeks until...
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Funny story: Obama Wants Year-Long Schooling, More M&M's In Packages

Obama Wants Year-Long Schooling, More M&M's In Packages

The summer vacation that American students long for all year is in danger of becoming a very short one if the President has his way. Obama says American kids spend too little time in school, putting them at a disadvantage with other students arou...
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