Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Gives Tour Of Turd Palace

Queen Elizabeth Gives Tour Of Turd Palace

London-- Queen Elizabeth II was proud to give a tour of the little-known Turd Palace in a prime-time special for the Beeeeb last night. The Turd Palace houses every single turd produced by the Queen during her life. It is said to contain over 85,00...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Furious At Being Snubbed By Dancing With The Stars

Sarah Palin Furious At Being Snubbed By Dancing With The Stars

WASILLA, Alaska - Ex-Governor Sarah Palin, and now just plain citizen Sarah Palin is reportedly furious at being snubbed by the producers of the reality dancing show, Dancing With The Stars. Palin, who is currently in North Korea, is desperately t...
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Funny story: Polanski joins long list of celeb warrants stings says LA County DA

Polanski joins long list of celeb warrants stings says LA County DA

California - (Gotcha!): Years of eurotrash legal humbuggery has bombed this weekend as Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley finally got his guy. "Polanski's been as damn' slippery as that General Pinochet," Cooley told a press briefi...
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Funny story: Indonesian Baby Hercules Walked Out of Mother's Womb?

Indonesian Baby Hercules Walked Out of Mother's Womb?

Kisaran, Indonesia - With his mother rendered unconscious by the intensity of the labor pains, the 19.2 pound 24.4 inch unborn infant, still covered in his mother starched out skin, instinctively knew he had to take matters into his own hands. "I had...
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Funny story: Riddle of the Obese woman and the missing drug dealer finally solved

Riddle of the Obese woman and the missing drug dealer finally solved

Helga Schmidt, a 1.5 tonne dead woman from Austria has helped solve the mystery of a missing Innsbruck man when a recent examination of her 5 year old corpse showed that she didn't die alone. The amazing X-ray images show the body of a man who had...
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Funny story: Channel 4 consider even more pointless replacements for Big Brother

Channel 4 consider even more pointless replacements for Big Brother

Channel 4's flagship programme 'Big Brother' will cruise into the sunset after it airs for the final time next summer. Only one more dismal, fame-seeking cretin will now be able to join the illustrious list of talentless, publicity-desperate super...
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Funny story: The Detroit Lions Finally Win A Game!

The Detroit Lions Finally Win A Game!

DETROIT - The fans of the NFL Detroit Lions have finally been treated to a rare rarity - Their beloved Lions have won a football game. After going for 21 months without winning a game the Lions defeated the Washington Redskins 19-14 snapping their...
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Funny story: Italy's Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's Says The Obamas Are Suntanned

Italy's Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's Says The Obamas Are Suntanned

MILAN, Italy - Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told a crowd of supporters in Milan that President Obama and his wife go sunbathing together and that each has a great tan. Prime Minister Berlusconi who at the age of 72, kind of resembles a...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin to lead expedition to Arizona to "Kill or capture" a Chupacabra

Sarah Palin to lead expedition to Arizona to "Kill or capture" a Chupacabra

PHOENIX, AR (ABSNN) with Abel Rodriguez - Former Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, a well known wild game hunter and trapper has received funding for an expedition to Arizona to find, kill or capture a wild Chupacabra (a fierce hairy killing creature lo...
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Funny story: Homeless Sex Offenders Live in Tents North of Atlanta

Homeless Sex Offenders Live in Tents North of Atlanta

COBB COUNTY, GA (ABSNN) - Approximately one dozen convicted sex offenders who have been released from prison on parole, are being forced to live out in the woods north of Atlanta, Georgia due to the nation's most restrictive laws governing where sex...
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Funny story: Seeking Obama's Support, Eastern European Country Renounces U.S. Allegiance

Seeking Obama's Support, Eastern European Country Renounces U.S. Allegiance

Slzaczwa, Molvakia - The Prime Minister of Molvakia announced today that he is renouncing his country's allegiance with the United States. Prime Minister Zinaida Szili said it is with great regret that he takes this action, because he has long a...
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Funny story: Ex - Zulu warrior marries four women in "one-hit" and it's legal

Ex - Zulu warrior marries four women in "one-hit" and it's legal

Horny Zulu, Miltom M'belly has decided to cut the bullshit and marry his four mistresses all in one day. Under Zulu law, it's legal as long a Miltom promises to adopt his own 25 children. This Miltom has promised to do and the white wedding cer...
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Funny story: Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J.--Breasts I have appreciated

Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J.--Breasts I have appreciated

As a newly minted Monsignor, I have had the duty of looking back over my lifetime and making recompense for my sins (such as they were). I have remembered the high points in my life as well as the low points; there were many in each category. Today, I wish to make known to my parishioners as well as to the reading pubic, the best points I've ever seen, and those I haven't seen, but am certain...
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Funny story: John Lennon's Lucy In The Sky In The Sky

John Lennon's Lucy In The Sky In The Sky

Virtually unknown Lucy Vaden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatles' classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," has died after a long battle with lupus. She was 46. Luckily, she was one of the few who had not been molested by Roman Polan...
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Funny story: Barack Obama wows the world with his magic show

Barack Obama wows the world with his magic show

Magician Barack Obama once again had his worldwide audience astounded and amazed as his latest tour began this week. Obama, who has already stunned people by his magical conversion from a rich, highly-educated lawyer into a po' hungry Negro and ba...
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Funny story: Man finds miracle weight loss cure

Man finds miracle weight loss cure

A British man claims to have come up with a quick, easy, and surefire way to lose weight - and fast. The former lard-butt has lost five stone (70 lbs / 32 kg) over the past six months, and he did it by obeying two simple rules. As most fatsos a...
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Funny story: Roman Polaxski receives lifetime outstanding award for "Bedding" a 13 year old and being on the run ever since

Roman Polaxski receives lifetime outstanding award for "Bedding" a 13 year old and being on the run ever since

Roman Polaxski, better known as Rosemary's Baby's daughter's rapist, was given a lifetime award for outstanding achievements in Switzerland yesterday. The prize awarded is in honour of his lifetime achievement as being the US's most wanted paedoph...
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Funny story: New control method for London trams goes amusingly wrong

New control method for London trams goes amusingly wrong

Yesterday, a new cost saving initiative to remove drivers from the London Tram network was unveiled. A spokesman explained, "The principle is much like an old Hornby train set. A five year old boy sits on top of a high tower where he has total vi...
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Funny story: Roman Polanski Sitting In A Swiss Slammer

Roman Polanski Sitting In A Swiss Slammer

ZURICH, Switzerland - Swiss authorities have arrested filmmaker Roman Polanski when he stepped of a plane in Zurich to attend a film festival. The 76-year-old ex-California babysitter was in Switzerland to receive a lifetime achievement award.
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Funny story: Starburst & Snickers are rubbish names proven by scientists

Starburst & Snickers are rubbish names proven by scientists

Scientists today announced that Starburst and Snickers were worse than the original British names for these products. Both had different names on British shores and there was a massive out cry when they were changed. Now it seems we should change bac...
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Funny story: Papal Black Widow dies of poisoning after bite

Papal Black Widow dies of poisoning after bite

Prague - (Tangled World Wide Web): A Black Widow spider died in hideous agony from food poisoning after biting the Pope today. Reporters watched mesmerised as the 3 inch diameter arachnid crawled up the pontifical vestments while Papa Ratzi ramble...
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Funny story: Polanski in a pickle

Polanski in a pickle

Famous film director and even better known deviant, Roman Polanski, has been charged with violating the body of a sow that he purchased, intending to making a film. The pig, whose age has not been revealed, was harmlessly rolling around in mud in...
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Funny story: Bush Boost for Brown

Bush Boost for Brown

While the rest of America thinks Prime Minister Gordon Brown has done a despicable thing by freeing convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Al Megrahi, supposedly in return for securing cheaper oil prices and vast oil reserves from Libya and Col Gadaff...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Admits To Having Consensual Sex With An Underaged Donut

Michael Moore Admits To Having Consensual Sex With An Underaged Donut

New York, New York - On the David Letterman show in conjunction with a tour of his latest film, "Socialism for Sissies", Michael Moore admitted in front of a live studio audience that he had consensual sex with an underaged donut during his early yea...
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Funny story: Lamar Odom, Khloe Karkashian Tie Knot, Have Sex

Lamar Odom, Khloe Karkashian Tie Knot, Have Sex

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian have tied the knot in Los Angeles and have apparently ran off to have sex somewhere. Apparently both of them are into this bondage thing, say friends, and they enjoy tying those knots. The 29-year-old Los Angeles...
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Funny story: Early Paul McCartney Writings Discovered In Liverpool

Early Paul McCartney Writings Discovered In Liverpool

A chance discovery in a Liverpool library recently has revealed that Paul McCartney's talent for writing was winning him prizes when he was just 10 years of age, though for an essay about the queen, rather than a hit song, although it could qualify a...
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Funny story: Post-G20 Shock: Sarkozy to demolish Eiffel Tower!

Post-G20 Shock: Sarkozy to demolish Eiffel Tower!

French president Nicolas Sarkozy has announced that he is to demolish the Eiffel Tower. Its 7,300 tonnes of steel will be used in the construction of housing for France's poor and homeless. "The President considers this a major step in fighting po...
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Funny story: Britain is a Tramp!

Britain is a Tramp!

Its official Britain is the tramp of the western world! We have dived in to recession so badly we are now just like the tramps you see in the street picking up used cigarette ends! Leading European political economist Dr Ivan Aufulfeelin explained...
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Funny story: Cold Case Crime Blotter: Polanski nabbed! Dangerous fiend still on the loose.

Cold Case Crime Blotter: Polanski nabbed! Dangerous fiend still on the loose.

32 years on the lam has come to an end for renowned filmmaker Roman Polanski. Back in 1977, perp Polanski pleaded guilty to having unlawful sex with a minor, served six weeks in lock-up for evaluation while awaiting sentencing, but got cold feet...
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Funny story: West Ham And Millwall Settle Differences

West Ham And Millwall Settle Differences

West Ham and Millwall, the two teams at the centre of an FA investigation into violence after their recent Carling Cup match at Upton Park, have decided to settle their long-standing differences, to shake hands and to let bygones be bygones. The t...
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Funny story: New barn door policy announced at Labour conference

New barn door policy announced at Labour conference

A major announcement was, er, announced by the Prime Minister at the Labour conference this week. Speaking to a packed audience of Labour supporters (the Conservatives and Lib Dems hadn't been invited due to their political leanings) Mr Brown outl...
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Funny story: Texan Chupacabra corpse linked to Irish dog fighting syndicate

Texan Chupacabra corpse linked to Irish dog fighting syndicate

Detectives in Texas have issued photo-fit descriptions of three Irish Nationals they would like to interview in connection with the discovery of the body of a Chupacabra. The three men, in their mid to late twenties, stayed two nights at the trav...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama's Birth Certificate Is Missing

Michelle Obama's Birth Certificate Is Missing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Michelle Obama has reportedly informed Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi that her birth certificate appears to be missing. Mrs. Obama said that she recently went to look for her birth certificate when daughter Malia s...
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Funny story: Iran Friggin' Fires Three Missile Test Drills

Iran Friggin' Fires Three Missile Test Drills

TEHRAN, Iran - Iran's Revolutionary Guard Air Force commander, General Hohofu Hezbaloni, 71, has informed the world's media that his beloved country (who's name has a subject and a verb) has just successfully fired off three standard-sized test drill...
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Funny story: Prime Minister Gordon Brown Staunchly Denies Pill-Popping

Prime Minister Gordon Brown Staunchly Denies Pill-Popping

LONDON - Top political reporter Andy Market stunned Prime Minister Gordon Brown during a live conference by asking him if he took any kind of pills in order to help him get through the hectic day. The British prime minister gave Market a stern loo...
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Funny story: Jenny Slate to teach Sunday School

Jenny Slate to teach Sunday School

LOS ANGELES CA - Jenny Slate had been showered with compliments and congratulations since airing the F-word recently on TV. Most letters coming in praise her for her honesty in using the word that everyone knows was the most appropriate for the sk...
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Funny story: Giant Indonesian Baby May Reach "Terrible Twos" Stage in Matter of Days

Giant Indonesian Baby May Reach "Terrible Twos" Stage in Matter of Days

Kisaran, Indonesia - The body of the mother of a giant Indonesian baby was discovered in her house in a mummified state today, just days after she gave a caesarian birth to a 19.2 pound 24.4 inch baby boy and released from the hospital. "Despite...
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Funny story: Royal Navy nets "lifetime supply" of cocaine

Royal Navy nets "lifetime supply" of cocaine

SCARBOROUGH England - Royal Navy spokesperson Captain Eallyrey Aygey says the Navy here has seized £4,523 billion worth of cocaine. The Scarborough-based frigate HMS Igodda Puke confiscated more than 2,400,333 tonnes of the drug from a 10,000 ft A...
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Funny story: G20 Protestor Angered to Find His Car Vandalized

G20 Protestor Angered to Find His Car Vandalized

Pittsburgh, PA - A G20 protestor returning to his car from a busy day of protesting capitalism found his car with a smashed window and missing its radio. Troy Kleagle of Portland, Oregon had driven himself and three other activists across the co...
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Funny story: Khloe Kardashian Loses Her Virginity

Khloe Kardashian Loses Her Virginity

A blushing Khloe Kardashian walked down the aisle today with basketball star Lamar Odum. She admitted reservations about losing her virginity. "I've been saving myself for marriage", the 25 year old star of Keeping Up With the Kardashians told th...
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Funny story: Drop 50 pounds in one week with the new A-O diet?!

Drop 50 pounds in one week with the new A-O diet?!

FARGO - ND - The whole town of Fargo is on a new diet that is turning them all into buff hunks and twiggy babes. Key to the diet plan? Ice cream. Yes, according to Dr. Perlsrenth here eating a triple-scoop cone with me, this special ice cream is t...
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