Funny story: Fat Passengers Prevent Plane Taking Off

Fat Passengers Prevent Plane Taking Off

Chicago - A plane filled with guest stars from the Jerry Springer Show and Oprah failed to get off the ground on take-off yesterday at O'Hare Airport. Normally airlines account for some tubby passengers but count on the law of averages to ensure t...
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Funny story: Mullet museum opens, honors Patrick Swayze

Mullet museum opens, honors Patrick Swayze

The Mullets in History Museum opened in Gap-in-Knob, Ky., on Saturday to much fanfare and few sideburns with its "Business in the Front, Party in the Back" gala celebration to honor the life and career of one of the most influential mullet-wearers of...
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Funny story: Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

San Francisco, California - "You know that song about a boy and his dragon that I would sing to you all the time?" reminisced Mary Travers in a low soft-spoken voice to her family and friends and a reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that gathered...
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Funny story: Research Reveals Everything is Fabricated

Research Reveals Everything is Fabricated

A decade long study into the development of Internet information distribution has revealed that more than 99% of everything you see was made up on the spot. Where dictionaries and encyclopedias once contained unbiased, well-researched material, th...
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Funny story: President Mindmedinnerdad Hollyoaks Decrier

President Mindmedinnerdad Hollyoaks Decrier

Controversial Iranian President Achmed Afterdinnermint has brought widespread condemnation from the International community for his latest statements, after describing popular British daytime soap Hollyoaks as being "a bit rubbish" and "not as good a...
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Funny story: Chicago Bank Forecloses On Al Capone's Hideaway

Chicago Bank Forecloses On Al Capone's Hideaway

CHICAGO - The Lake Michigan Farmer's State Bank of Chicago has just announced that they have had to repossess the 407-acre hideaway complex of 1920's gangster Al Capone. The property which is valued at $2.6 million includes a two-story 20,000 squa...
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Funny story: Megan Fox Makes Marriage Vow

Megan Fox Makes Marriage Vow

Sultry, sexy Megan Fox announced today that she plans to be married at the end of April next year. However, she has not yet found a suitable mate. "I'm soooo sexy I can marry anyone I want", the 23 year old star of the new film Jennifer's Body to...
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Funny story: Mysterious X Found on Ocean Floor

Mysterious X Found on Ocean Floor

Technicians aboard the International Space Station reported to ground crews this morning that a gigantic "X" has been discovered on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. The "X" measures more than 150 miles across, is black in color, and reportedly lo...
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Funny story: 'Like a drunk in a midnight choir' as Leonard Cohen, 97, collapses on stage

'Like a drunk in a midnight choir' as Leonard Cohen, 97, collapses on stage

Valencia - (Golden Oldies Biz): A dodgy raw prawn paella was being blamed for the singer's collapse at the Luis Puig Velodrome last night half an hour after the start of the concert. The former born-again Rinzai Zen Buddhust monk fell on stage, p...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer In 50,000 Point Wipeout

Spoof Writer In 50,000 Point Wipeout

Legendary Spoof writer Abel Rodriguez, of San Antonio, Texas, tonight brought the world of Spoofery to its knees gasping for breath as he topped what is believed to be a record breaking points tally of 50,000 points scored with plenty of time to spar...
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Funny story: Flab-melt infra-red butt-crystals bunkum?

Flab-melt infra-red butt-crystals bunkum?

London - (Emperor's New Clothing Co): A UK department store is wooing the minds and arses of millions of otherwise rational women with its cellulite-busting tights and leggings. The $25-a-pop 'wonder yarn' hose have apparently been embedded with b...
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Funny story: 'Annoying Americans' to become a new Olympic sport

'Annoying Americans' to become a new Olympic sport

After decades of the rest of the world poking fun at the citizens of the United States of America, for no particular reason except to have a cheap laugh at the world's permanent failures, the International Olympic Committee today announced that a new...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Loses Money When All Cows In Ranching Operation Die

Jessica Simpson Loses Money When All Cows In Ranching Operation Die

Actress, singer, and personality Jessica Simpson's venture into ranching took a turn for the worse when her entire herd died. Simpson went into ranching because of former boyfriend Tony Romo, a member of the NFL's Dallas Cowboys. "Since he was a Cow...
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Funny story: Gers give Gazza lifeline

Gers give Gazza lifeline

Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne flew into Glasgow yesterday in an attempt to resurrect his wretched career. The former England midfielder has been without a job in football since his sacking from English Conference Division club Kettering Town in 2005, des...
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Funny story: Bummers cruise at Emirates; Clarets toast Nugget & Pumpey lose again!

Bummers cruise at Emirates; Clarets toast Nugget & Pumpey lose again!

Thomas Vermaelen and David Nugget were Saturday's individual stars as ARSE-enal made light work of Wigan at the Emirates and Burnley kept up their 100 per cent home record with a 3-1 win over Sunderland. Portsmouth continue to 'look up' at the res...
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Funny story: Cola Company Executive Pulls a Fast One on President Obama

Cola Company Executive Pulls a Fast One on President Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. - This week, the results of a study were released concerning public health and the economic benefits of taxing sugar-sweetened beverages. Research suggests that a tax on sugary soft drinks would provide a virtually unlimited sourc...
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Funny story: Hill Street Booze

Hill Street Booze

Liverpool - (Captain Furillo Biz): A prominent Liverpool Crown Court judge faces possible ritual disrobing on DUI charges. Officers Renko and Hill apprehended 69 year-old His Honour Judge Bruce Macmillan after catching him pissed behind the wheel...
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Funny story: Ralph Nader's Brother, Gator, Finally Has A Girlfriend

Ralph Nader's Brother, Gator, Finally Has A Girlfriend

Gator Nader, the brother of oft presidential-candidate Ralph Nader, announced yesterday that, after 40 years, he finally has a girlfriend. While everyone seems to know Ralph Nader, his brother Gator also immigrated from Lebanon at the same time a...
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Funny story: Governor Perry Sends The Texas Rangers To The Mexican Border

Governor Perry Sends The Texas Rangers To The Mexican Border

AUSTIN - Texas Governor Rick Perry has announced that he will be sending the Texas Rangers down to the Texas-Mexico border town of Laredo. At first several newspapers were set to report that it was the American Baseball League Texas Rangers. Th...
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Funny story: Elderly should not touch animals, scientist says

Elderly should not touch animals, scientist says

Caretakers should not allow over-eighty-fives to touch animals at petting farms, a child psychologist has said amid acting-out fears involving four cities. Prof Enningtonpey said old people were the most likely people to touch animals but the hard...
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Funny story: Manchester United v Manchester City

Manchester United v Manchester City

The city of Manchester is a pretty atmospheric place to be right now. Fans of both legendary clubs aren't really sure which way this match will turn out. Local rivalries, mainly deriving from which part of town you come from really come to the for...
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Funny story: Goverment puts the cabash on Ooogling Books

Goverment puts the cabash on Ooogling Books

Washington DC - The US Just-Us Department has urged a New York court to reject a deal that would allow book company Boogle to publish millions of books online. The deal raised protection and family issues, the mob said, and should be rejected in i...
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Funny story: People Who Want Sex At Bedtime Aren't Really All That Tired

People Who Want Sex At Bedtime Aren't Really All That Tired

The Society Of Sleepyheads today released the results of a five year survey into sex and bedtime. Results revealed that people go to bed at all hours of the day and night, primarily to have sex. But it also revealed that quite often, couples go to...
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Funny story: Kanye West Adds Penis Extension To His Crib

Kanye West Adds Penis Extension To His Crib

Kanye West has splashed out on on an extension to his new Hollywood crib - in the shape of a penis. The diminutive R&B rapper, or whatever he is, is back in the news once again for acting like a total knob. But he was determined he would th...
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Funny story: Fall in rain attributed to the world econimic criisis

Fall in rain attributed to the world econimic criisis

Government figures released show that rain has fallen 30% less this year than the same period last year. Officials blame the current world economic crisis for the drops in rain fall. Minister for weather, Mrs Suni Day said "We are seeing an incredibl...
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Funny story: Value Voters; Two For the Price of One

Value Voters; Two For the Price of One

As the Value Voters Convention packed up and left Washington DC today the Convention & Visitors Bureau was inundated with complaints from hotels and restaurants that the coventioneers had skipped out on their bills. Hotels and restaurants were...
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Funny story: Government introduces cash for shoppers program

Government introduces cash for shoppers program

Washington DC - Thrilled with the tremendous success of the economic recovery so far, President Odamnbu has announced a new government program to stimulate the economy. We interviewed the President yesterday and are now revealing some of the details...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Unknown Outside Of The USA

Kevin Skinner Unknown Outside Of The USA

Kevin Skinner, recently the winner of America's Got Talent, is unknown outside of the US, it has been reported. Skinner, 35, won the show with a gripping rendition of the Aerosmith ditty I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, after receiving more than 90% of...
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Funny story: US to sell President to Iran - UK US relations worsen - President for sand deal.

US to sell President to Iran - UK US relations worsen - President for sand deal.

The US announced only minutes ago that it will sell President Obama to Iran in a move that is seen as retaliation for the sale of the Internet and the English language to Iran by the UK. The sale of the president is said to be worth one thousand...
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Funny story: UK to sell English Language to Iran - Language for carpets deal - America angry again.

UK to sell English Language to Iran - Language for carpets deal - America angry again.

The UK government is now in the final stages of selling the English language to Iran, a move which has again outraged the American's especially after coming hard on the heels of the recent Internet sale to Iran by the UK. According to the UK gover...
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Funny story: Bargis Tryhol Gets Evicted

Bargis Tryhol Gets Evicted

Bargis Tryhol, world record holder as the man with the world's largest penis, was evicted from his Florida apartment this week. Tryhol was put out by his landlord, Lowell Markham. Mr. Markham stated that there was a problem between Tryhol and ano...
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Funny story: Revision to Monoploy, Terroropoly sees huge sales.

Revision to Monoploy, Terroropoly sees huge sales.

A decision by the makers of Monoploy to give the seventy year old board game a revision to bring up to date has been a great success, says the company. The new game 'Terroropoly' is based on the old game but has been changed to appeal to modern b...
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Funny story: Joe Wilson Goes On "You Lie!" Tour

Joe Wilson Goes On "You Lie!" Tour

Popular Republican Congressman Joe Wilson has announced that he is going on a "You Lie" tour for most of the rest of the year. Being encouraged by his home state of South Carolina, Rep. Wilson will begin the nationwide part of the tour with a mass...
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Funny story: Bargis Tryhol Celebrity Guest At National Surfboarding Championships

Bargis Tryhol Celebrity Guest At National Surfboarding Championships

Porn film star, secret agent, and world record holder Bargis Tryhol is the official celebrity judge and guest at this year's National Surfboarding Championships in Honolulu, Hawaii. He will grade surfers on their abilities in riding the tube, the pi...
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Funny story: Student reveals bingo ball counting strategy - Bingo as we know it finished

Student reveals bingo ball counting strategy - Bingo as we know it finished

A math student who discovered and put into practice a bingo ball counting system at casino's, winning thousands in coverall jackpots in the process, has revealed the secret behind his system. The system which found a major flaw in the way that bingo...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Blows It Again!

Miley Cyrus Blows It Again!

Miley Cyrus has responded once again to the photo that some have said was racially offensive. This time Smiley was signing autographs in Nashville after a recent show and there was a visiting group from Japan, mostly teens and their mother escorts...
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Funny story: America rages at UK decision to sell the Internet to Iran - Internet for Oil deal.

America rages at UK decision to sell the Internet to Iran - Internet for Oil deal.

American and UK diplomats are trying to settle a huge row that is forming over the sale of 85% of the 95% of the shares the UK holds in the Internet to Iran. The sale which consists of about one trillion barrels of oil and some cash was signed secret...
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Funny story: CIA's 'magnificent seven' ride again!

CIA's 'magnificent seven' ride again!

Langley, Virginia - (Cover-your-ass Mess): A classic paranoid over-reaction by ex-CIA directors - including George Bush Tenet and Harry Porter Gross - has seen the Agency's 'magnificient seven' write to President Obama ahead of being probed for incom...
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Funny story: New Labour To Be Renamed Conservatives

New Labour To Be Renamed Conservatives

New Labour have outlined their manifesto for the next election under their new party name, The Conservatives. Gordon Brown's party came up with the plan to help them win the next election, last night in the House Of Common's lapdancing bar. Bro...
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Funny story: Jack Tweed Tells Jordan "I'm not Scottish!"

Jack Tweed Tells Jordan "I'm not Scottish!"

JADE Goody's widower Jack Tweed has sent a message to model Katie Price, aka, Jordon (when you have to explain who they are they are not really famous), to say that he is "not Scottish". "Tweed The Weed" as he is universally known among his pal (a...
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Funny story: 'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

Parents should not allow under-fives to breath fresh air, an ologologist has said, in a bid to earn a fiver to buy his fake degree, or at least to get the next round in. Professor Hugh Hee said toddlers were 'most likely to run around and breath f...
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Funny story: Man Stuck In Pub After Watching Derren Brown On TV

Man Stuck In Pub After Watching Derren Brown On TV

A man has spoken of his relief after failing to come home to his wife last night, because he was hypnotised by famous illusionist Derren Brown. Brown is in hot water again following his Lottery illusion. He enacted his latest trick on Channel 4...
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Funny story: Madonna Reinvented

Madonna Reinvented

Following in the footsteps of Michael Jackson, Madonna is rumoured to have considered going under the knife. Its believed that 89 year old Madonna wants to reinvent not only her failing music career and book writing but her image also and coming b...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Come Back Special With Elvis

Michael Jackson Come Back Special With Elvis

According to an insider of the Jackson family who we only known as Marlon who asked us not to give out his name. Michael Jackson has allegedly been in talks with Elvis Presley of Memphis who agreed to do a 1 off special which will be broadcast at...
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Funny story: Usain Bolt Discovered To Be Hermaphrodite

Usain Bolt Discovered To Be Hermaphrodite

There was a shock in the world of athletics today, when it was announced that Jamaican Olympic 100m and 200m sprint champion, Sir Usain Bolt, was a hermaphrodite. A hermaphrodite is a person whose genetic make-up has been jumbled so that they do n...
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Funny story: Florida Woman Busted For Extortion

Florida Woman Busted For Extortion

A Florida woman woke up to a somber idea this morning. Her plot to extort $50,000 from her husband not only failed, but she is going to have to adjust to wearing jailhouse blues. In a farce that began on September 4th, when she, and her young lov...
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Funny story: Maradona's Earrings Not Worth The Paper They're Printed On

Maradona's Earrings Not Worth The Paper They're Printed On

Argentinian football coach Maradona's earrings were deemed worthless yesterday after being confiscated by Italian police in an effort to recover unpaid taxes. Maradona's earrings were nabbed while he was resting at a health clinic, to help pay bac...
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Funny story: Foil Terrorists At Gas Mark 7 For Best Results

Foil Terrorists At Gas Mark 7 For Best Results

Good old fashioned foil - such as Bacofoil and stores' own brands - has become a key to foiling terrorists, CNN has learned. Once wrapped in the silvery cooking accessory, terrorists feel warm and fuzzy and are said to be less likely to become ag...
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Funny story: Grandma Lee Livid, Says She's Quitting Show Business

Grandma Lee Livid, Says She's Quitting Show Business

HOLLYWOOD - Less than 24 hours after Grandma Lee lost to Kevin Skinner and Barbara Padilla on America's Got Talent, the Jacksonville, Florida grandmother has said that she is quitting show business. Speaking from her room at The Sisters of St. Cel...
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Funny story: Hot Monkey Love!

Hot Monkey Love!

All the town of San Diego is buzzing about one thing: Hot Monkey Love! Charley and Chim Chim, two new monkeys just brought into the San Diego Zoo went at it the first five minutes together, say zoo officials. "But then they have been at it with...
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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi's Plastic Surgeon Designs World's Longest Suspension Bridge

Nancy Pelosi's Plastic Surgeon Designs World's Longest Suspension Bridge

Chile - The three kilometer Malavarra Narrows is soon to be spanned by the longest suspension bridge in the world thanks to the efforts of Bernie Stanke whose only claim to fame until now has been plastic surgeon to Nancy Pelosi. The narrows which...
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Funny story: Serial Killer, "Murderous Monsignor" Sashays Out of the Confessional!

Serial Killer, "Murderous Monsignor" Sashays Out of the Confessional!

West 'By God' Virginia: The citizens of Hawkhole Hollow, WV can now rest a bit easier now that the serial killer- known as the Murderous Monsignor- has been captured and is safely behind bars. Frankie Thej, 63 (but insists he's 35) has been charge...
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Funny story: John Leslie accused of rap - by Kanye West

John Leslie accused of rap - by Kanye West

Professional disgraced 'bad boy' John Leslie who serves as a warning to all young cassanovas - 'what you do at twenty catches up with you at forty' has been accused of rap by motor mouth rapper Kanye West. Leslie 51 and now seedy looking (as the...
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Funny story: Man Strains So Hard He Craps Out His Soul

Man Strains So Hard He Craps Out His Soul

Vatican officials have confirmed a man in East Lansing, Michigan crapped out his soul while straining too hard on a commode yesterday. Two priests and a plumber were brought in by the local diocese to help the man, but the whereabouts of the soul...
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