Funny story: Alleged Witch Doctor Stirs Up White Supremacists

Alleged Witch Doctor Stirs Up White Supremacists

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The House of Representatives on Tuesday formally admonished Republican Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina for shouting "you lie" during President Obama's speech to a joint session of Congress last week. The House passed a resolut...
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Funny story: U.S. Congress Address Priority Concerns

U.S. Congress Address Priority Concerns

Despite trillions of dollars of debt, struggling attempts at something very similar to socialized healthcare, and more troubles than you can, quote, "shake a stick at," the United States Congress has found an even more important issue that needs to b...
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Funny story: Cheney Enters Hospital: Thumbs Nose at Uninsured

Cheney Enters Hospital: Thumbs Nose at Uninsured

Former Vice President Dick Cheney; oh, such an unfortunate first name, entered the finest of hospitals today so that the finest of surgeons could operate on his back with the finest of medical personnel in attendance. While costs for the surgery are...
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Funny story: Kate and William to Marry

Kate and William to Marry

Senior officials at Clarence House today announced that William and Kate will marry in 2010. The long awaited announcement was made at a press conference called hastily at Clarence House. Phone calls were made to trusted reporters, whilst tabloid...
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Funny story: Patient in Barack Obama health care speech 'not dead, just pining for the fjords'

Patient in Barack Obama health care speech 'not dead, just pining for the fjords'

Washington - (Dead Parrot Sketch): A patient whose death President Obama trumpeted as an example of rubbish healthcare was still alive three years after treatment for a terminal diagnosis was reprieved by insurance reinstatement. Obama told Congre...
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Funny story: Raymond Clark III: 'We did a strip search of him and checked his mental state' says prison chief

Raymond Clark III: 'We did a strip search of him and checked his mental state' says prison chief

New Haven - (Reuterus): Annie Le murder chief suspect was reported undergoing bizarre new psychological testing after Connecticut's Lt John Bernard told the media that his mental health had been probed during a strip search. The accused was then p...
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Funny story: Merlin First With Lottery Illusion

Merlin First With Lottery Illusion

Merlin tried to convince people that he could predict the lottery 900 years before Derren Brown. It seems King Arthur's wizard friend is the originator of the trick Brown played out in front of an audience of over 4 million on Channel 4 recently.
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Funny story: Son of Star Whores axed by Capitol Hill KGB Colonel

Son of Star Whores axed by Capitol Hill KGB Colonel

Washington AC/DC - (Rasputin-Related): The Kremlin has managed to persuade its top US asset to scrap the Bush Administration's canny plan to nuke Iran from bases near Warsaw. The daftass plan would have seen Polish bases fire at random using sophi...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Glacier Mints Getting Smaller

Scientists Discover Glacier Mints Getting Smaller

Scientists have discovered glacier mints are getting smaller. The enjoyable mints, wrapped with a drawing of polar bear standing on an iceberg, or was it a fox, are likely to disappear altogether within 50 years unless drastic action is taken, acc...
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Funny story: Man misses period.

Man misses period.

A bright man who worked as a candle maker for Elster's Candle Works was let go today for missing his period. In light of poor candle sales, many felt Old Man Elster waxed the poor bloke for omitting what only can be called an unfortunate bit of bad l...
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Funny story: Australia gets its very own Joseph Fritzl

Australia gets its very own Joseph Fritzl

State of Victoria - (OMG): Just when ya thought the incest pathogen was consigned to oblivion with Austrian dungeonmaster Joseph Friztl's life sentence along comes another perv. And big time. And in Australia of all places. A court suppression or...
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Funny story: One of "Peter, Paul and Mary" Joins the "The Grateful Dead"

One of "Peter, Paul and Mary" Joins the "The Grateful Dead"

San Francisco, California - Originally forming one-third of the nation's most popular folk music groups of the 1960s, "Peter, Paul and Mary", Mary Travers, like Momma Cass, later grew to form two-thirds of the trio, having eaten, Peter, one of the f...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney To Sue Maccabees

Paul McCartney To Sue Maccabees

Sir Paul McCartney is to sue indie stars The Maccabees over the use of his name. The former bass player with 60s quintet The Beatles says he is sick and fed up of weedy young people cashing in. He insisted the other four Beatles would feel exac...
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Funny story: Bill O'Reilly has stroke; IQ soars

Bill O'Reilly has stroke; IQ soars

News pundit Bill O'Reilly suffered a stroke late thursday evening shortly after the broadcast of his nightly show. He was quickly rushed to the hospital and was stabilized. A Cat Scan revealed and tests revealed that he had a jump in his IQ fr...
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Funny story: Bank to takeover Federal Reserve System

Bank to takeover Federal Reserve System

Sioux Falls (DP) - In an unanimous vote, the Senate approved a privately owned bank to takeover the Federal Reserve to manage the nation's money supply. Obama said, "It is time to cut the friction of the middleman out and work directly with the n...
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Funny story: Google to launch "Cyclops" - a replacement for all social media

Google to launch "Cyclops" - a replacement for all social media

Mountain View (DP) - Google has plans to launch a revolutionary product to merge all social networking into a single interface. The product, aptly named Cyclops, is an ultra thin webcam that affixes to one's forehead with Velcro tape. It uses mobile...
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Funny story: AUS-sies and AUS-trians tend to keep it in 'the family'

AUS-sies and AUS-trians tend to keep it in 'the family'

The latest incest scandal that has shocked the world and the cornerstones of all family foundations comes from AUS-sie land rapidly following the last one from AUS-tria. Scientists are examining this fact and have delved into satanic sexual liter...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Wins $1 Million Gets Marriage Proposal From OctuMom

Kevin Skinner Wins $1 Million Gets Marriage Proposal From OctuMom

LA HABRA, California - About ten minutes after Kevin Skinner won America's Got Talent's top prize of $1 million he got a congratulatory phone call from none other than OctuMom. An unnamed reliable source said that Kevin and Octy had gone out on a...
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Funny story: Polly Toure warns Man Utd

Polly Toure warns Man Utd

Homeless Man City Captain Polly Toure has run his mouth before the much anticipated Manchester derby. Polly Toure suggests Man Utd will have a supposedly "difficult" 90 minutes when the two teams face off on Sunday 20 September. Man City has spe...
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Funny story: Kayne West Interupts Barack/Michelle's Tender Moment In Bed

Kayne West Interupts Barack/Michelle's Tender Moment In Bed

No one knows how he got past six (now unemployed) guards positioned at different entrances to the White House, but Wednesday night Kayne West suddenly appeared at the bedside of President of the United States and the First Lady to interrupt a very te...
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Funny story: The Vagina Monologues to be Renamed in Honor of National Breast Appreciation Day

The Vagina Monologues to be Renamed in Honor of National Breast Appreciation Day

The Vagina Monologues, the long running Broadway play, will be renamed for September 28th in honor of the celebration of National Breast Appreciation Day. Production assistant Lisa Naugahyde said that "we feel that, just like our performances enligh...
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Funny story: France follow Kenya and clear out their slum in Calais full up with, well, crap

France follow Kenya and clear out their slum in Calais full up with, well, crap

France has followed a Kenyan initiative and agreed to clear out its major slum in Calais (appropriately known as "the Jungle!"), filled with vermin, rubbish, crap, (and that's just the illegals!) dried up turds and pools of stenching piss, etc! Fo...
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Funny story: Kendra Wilkinson, Hank Baskett Headed For Indiana Jones?

Kendra Wilkinson, Hank Baskett Headed For Indiana Jones?

Kendra Wilkinson is giving up bagels & cheese for "Indy racer cars". Just two days after being let go by the Michael Vick popular Philadelphia Eagles, Kendra Wilkinson's husband Hank Baskett is all set to sign with an even bigger Super Bowl fa...
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Funny story: Kanye & Taylor, Sittin' in a Tree...

Kanye & Taylor, Sittin' in a Tree...

In a move that probably everyone saw coming, Badboy of Rap Kanye West has announced his engagement to America's Newest Sweetheart, Taylor Swift. "Yo-yo, I just had to, know-um-sayin' " said the always-articulate Mr. West. "I dissed her, then I k...
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Funny story: Former Vice-President Dick Cheney Is Having Back Surgery

Former Vice-President Dick Cheney Is Having Back Surgery

BALTIMORE - Dick Cheney, the man who was President George W. Bush's vice-president, well at least on paper, has entered The Mrs. Lord Baltimore Hospital where he will undergo back surgery. Cheney, who for eight years probably said a total of about...
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Funny story: Obama's Anti-Missile Shield Was Eyesore Waiting To Happen

Obama's Anti-Missile Shield Was Eyesore Waiting To Happen

Documents relating to Barack Obama's U-turn over an anti-missile shield in central Europe reveal neighboring countries believed it would prove a massive eyesore. Poland, Czech Republic and Germany all felt that a giant shield made out of old missi...
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Funny story: White House Admits Sending 'Unmanned Drone' Jimmy Carter to Blow Up "GOP Racists!"

White House Admits Sending 'Unmanned Drone' Jimmy Carter to Blow Up "GOP Racists!"

Washington, DC/ Somewhere in a Cave Outside the Capitol - President Barack Hussein Obama, responded to critics today and tried to explain why he launched the DEMs unguided missile, Former President Jimmy Carter , on a mission to blow up the GOP wit...
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Funny story: Gordon Ramsay Is Blackberry Fool

Gordon Ramsay Is Blackberry Fool

Top chef Gordon Ramsay proved himself a BlackBerry fool yesterday by baking a pie full of the top of the range mobile phones at his posh New York restaurant, Knob. The foul mouthed and, some say, glorified cook served up a four letter tirade over...
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Funny story: Congressman Bacchus introduces new health care legislation

Congressman Bacchus introduces new health care legislation

After months of behind-the-scenes negotiation, Congressman Bacchus (I-Rome) unveiled a massive health care bill. The CBO reports that the bill could cost the government almost 50,000 denarii, although Bacchus himself puts the estimate at closer to 60...
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Funny story: Wild New Book About President Bush

Wild New Book About President Bush

Matt Moore, whom no one on the Bush staff can recall and neither can the former president himself, is putting out a new book that reviewers say is very embarrassing to George W. Bush. In fact, top officials from the Bush White House are greeting...
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Funny story: PETA Celebrates Kevin Skinner's Win of America's Got Talent - Chickens Rejoice Worldwide - KFC is Devastated

PETA Celebrates Kevin Skinner's Win of America's Got Talent - Chickens Rejoice Worldwide - KFC is Devastated

PETA organizations worldwide are celebrating the victory of Kevin Skinner, a chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky, who won America's Got Talent, the popular reality television entertainment contest. PETA, an acronym for People for the Ethical...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Wins The Whole (Chicken) Enchilada!

Kevin Skinner Wins The Whole (Chicken) Enchilada!

HOLLYWOOD - Kevin Skinner and Barbara Padilla stood side-by-side on the America's Got Talent stage. And then host Nick Cannon announced the winner of the $1 million first prize...Kevin Skinner! Skinner started crying, Padilla started crying, and G...
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Funny story: F-Mart To Go Topless To Bring Back Customers

F-Mart To Go Topless To Bring Back Customers

In a desperate move to try and bring customers back to their stores, F-Mart has announced plans to go topless at their cash registers. This announcement comes on the heels of National Breast Appreciation Day (September 28th), and that will also be t...
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Funny story: President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'

President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'

Peanut Brittle, GA/ More News from The Nut - Former President 'Jimmie' Carter continued his crusade against Racism today when he came out strongly against Retail Economic Recovery, saying traditional 'January White Sales ' only encourage underlying...
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Funny story: Manchester United v God at The Old Bailey?

Manchester United v God at The Old Bailey?

After lengthy deliberation, supporters of crisis-hit Manchester United are considering legal action against God having won only four pieces of silverware after a dismal 2008/09 season for the north-west giants. The atmosphere was tense in the slee...
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Funny story: Harry Potter To Search For Kanye West's Horcruxes

Harry Potter To Search For Kanye West's Horcruxes

Atlanta, Georgia - Embattled singer Kanye West will never die - ever. The world's number one egomaniac has split his soul into a million pieces. Lord Voldemort is the only other person known to have achieved this feet. An advanced understanding...
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Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens Explains Nude Photos Once Again

Vanessa Hudgens Explains Nude Photos Once Again

Since it was all the way back in 2007 when the nude photographs of Vanessa Hudgens first began appearing on the internet, you'd think that the story would be old by now but she has now decided to "tell the whole thing". "Maybe others will learn fr...
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Funny story: Obama To Give Stunning Speech On UFOs

Obama To Give Stunning Speech On UFOs

Washington DC-- President Obama will give the most remarkable speech of his career tonight to a joint session of Congress. The incredible speech will confirm the existence of UFOs. President Obama plans to release the most Top Secret reports of all...
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Funny story: ACORN Members to Replace Secret Service Agents

ACORN Members to Replace Secret Service Agents

Washington DC: President Obama held a news conference today. He made two brief announcements about ACORN members replacing his current security detail and the new Ministry of Propaganda. The president took no questions from the White House Press Corp...
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Funny story: Wild Horses Drag Susan Boyle Away After All

Wild Horses Drag Susan Boyle Away After All

Wild horses yesterday dragged Susan Boyle away from the America's Got Talent studios in what police are describing as an orchestrated attack. Ironically, the orchestra backing Susan Boyle during her performance of the song Wild Horses did nothing...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle's Restraining Order On Kanye West

Susan Boyle's Restraining Order On Kanye West

A judge has ordered Kanye West to desist from attempting to contact worldwide sensation Susan Boyle. Security was stepped up at the recent America's Got Talent final, with guard dogs positioned around the studio perimeter in case Kanye West attemp...
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Funny story: New Training for ACORN Employees

New Training for ACORN Employees

Introduction: Offering Illegal Advice 1. Our job is to offer advice to government applicants so they are better able to utilize every service available even if it may not apply to them or be illegal. 2. We compiled the best advice available from top legal minds, Obama's best work as a lawyer was done here at ACORN (!), to use in order to help circumvent unfair government regulations. 3. R...
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Funny story: 5 Million Dollar Prize

5 Million Dollar Prize

MacBurger has announced a prestigious new annual arts prize for the fastest texted irreverent joke following any tragic event. The clock will be started once a celebrity dies, a building collapses, a film actress forgets her underwear or any other internationally symbolic moment. Category awards will be available: 1. Fastest and funniest. 2. Fastest and most sexist. 3. Fastest and mo...
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Funny story: Norfolk man attempting to sue major drinks companies

Norfolk man attempting to sue major drinks companies

After a night of excess Terry Spalding, 32, is launching a legal attack on four producers of alcoholic beverages for not listing the possible side effects that may occur when consuming their product. Mr Spalding, of Gumford near Kings Lynn, feels...
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Funny story: Acorn Executive Quoted As Saying "Nuts!"

Acorn Executive Quoted As Saying "Nuts!"

Faced with mounting evidence that ACORN employees all over the country have been using their positions to further tax evasion, smuggling, child slavery, encouraging prostitution rings, and not turning off the lights when leaving the room, the executi...
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Funny story: Hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya, Endorses Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids

Hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya, Endorses Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids

Johannesburg, South Africa - If successful, a generation of men will never know the humiliation of having their mothers show family, friends and their girlfriends their naked baby pictures, because no longer will millions of mothers have to take pict...
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