There were 1,259 spoof news stories published in September 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Rob Pattinson Foot Fetish Too Much for Kristen Stewart, She Reveals

Rob Pattinson Foot Fetish Too Much for Kristen Stewart, She Reveals

VANCOUVER, B.C. - While most young ladies seem to worship the ground Robert Pattinson walks one, Kristen Stewart revealed that she just does not have the stomach for her British costar's smelly feet - or his foot fetish. The 19-year-old American a...
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Funny story: Kanye Interrupts Swayze Funeral, Says Jackson's was Better

Kanye Interrupts Swayze Funeral, Says Jackson's was Better

Even as the buzz on Twitter, Facebook, and the universe of entertainment news outlets is humming with the discussion of the hip-hop star's outrageous antics at the MTV Videao Music Awards, Kanye West doubled down on his image as an outspoken and no-h...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Spotted in Maternity Wear with Kristen Stewart!

Rob Pattinson Spotted in Maternity Wear with Kristen Stewart!

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Today, for the first time ever, Robert Pattinson gave photographers a chance to snap some shots of him trying on maternity wear accompanied by gal pal Kristen Stewart! "Guys can be so competitive," explained Stewart.
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Funny story: Sugarbabes Split - again!

Sugarbabes Split - again!

Long running soap-opera popular beat combo all girl trio Sugarbabes have split. . .Again. Keisha Buchanan formed the group back in 1998 with then friends Mutya Buena and Siobhan Donaghy. The pressures of popularity, fame, wealth and as many M&...
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Funny story: Kanye West Disses Taylor Swift, and a New Word is Born

Kanye West Disses Taylor Swift, and a New Word is Born

Kanye West's antics at the Sept. 13 telecast of MTV's Video Music Awards prompted a new addition to the vernacular: to "swift" someone. Inspired by the rapper's rude interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the live telecast, the verb mean...
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Funny story: Man with World's 2nd Largest Penis Recovering from "Joint Reduction Surgery."

Man with World's 2nd Largest Penis Recovering from "Joint Reduction Surgery."

Long Branch, NJ/ Hospital News - A man, far from a " normal" man, is resting comfortably today before commencing rehabilitation exercises after having the world's first "Penis Reduction" performed by noted plastic surgeon Alex "Tight Jaws" Johnson.
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Funny story: Barbara Padilla and Susan Boyle To Record "Voices Across The Water"

Barbara Padilla and Susan Boyle To Record "Voices Across The Water"

NEW YORK CITY - The singing sensation from Scotland, Susan Boyle, and the singing sensation from Mexico, Barbara Padilla will soon be going into the recording studio and recording a song written by Sir Paul McCartney titled "Voices Across The Water."...
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Funny story: Free electricity from water

Free electricity from water

A man in Hertfordshire has invented a system for generating free electricity from water. His system is set to revolutionise power generation for many homeowners in the UK. Michael Friday explained how his system works: "It's only good for hou...
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Funny story: South African Runner Hermaphrodite Is A Bit More Man Than Woman

South African Runner Hermaphrodite Is A Bit More Man Than Woman

Caster Semenya, the South African 800m she-man at the centre of the 'is she/isn't he' Hermaphrodite scandal, has been checked-out again by doctors, who now say that the runner is a little bit more man than woman. Semenya, who became the world cham...
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Funny story: Janet Jackson To Honor Her Pussy At VMA's

Janet Jackson To Honor Her Pussy At VMA's

New York, New York - From the loft of her 'on again, off again' lover, aging thespian Robert Deniro, Janet Jackson, the singer who caused such an uproar with her wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl on February 1, 2004, has announced that she will...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent's Barbara Padilla Knocks Everyone's Socks Off!

America's Got Talent's Barbara Padilla Knocks Everyone's Socks Off!

HOLLYWOOD - The entire America's Got Talent audience as well as all three AGT judges gave Houston opera singer Barbara Padilla a standing ovation. And that standing O from the judges is extremely rare especially considering the fact that British...
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Funny story: South African Hermaphrodite Runner Pregnant With Hermaphrodite

South African Hermaphrodite Runner Pregnant With Hermaphrodite

Doctors at the centre of the South African Hermaphrodite case have revealed another twist in the already-boring tale of Caster Semenya, the 800m runner who is 'a bit of both' - she's up the duff! Semenya, 18, is expecting a child after penetrating...
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Funny story: Husband of Woman with World's Largest Vagina 'Ready' for National Breast Appreciation Day

Husband of Woman with World's Largest Vagina 'Ready' for National Breast Appreciation Day

OSHKOSH, B'Gosh - This morning on Wake the Hell Up America, Johnson Octopops let loose about his bitter break-up with the woman with the world's largest vagina, who he said, "would only beat me off... and smelled like fish." The television "person...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama's Birth Certificate Is Missing

Michelle Obama's Birth Certificate Is Missing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Michelle Obama has reportedly informed Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi that her birth certificate appears to be missing. Mrs. Obama said that she recently went to look for her birth certificate when daughter Malia s...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Denies Rob Pattinson Bonkathon Rumour

Kristen Stewart Denies Rob Pattinson Bonkathon Rumour

Twilight starlet Kristen Stewart today emerged from her trailer at MGM studios in Hollywood to deny rumours that she had taken part in a three day bonkathon with co-star Robert Pattinson. "It's just not true," a tearful Stewart told the assembled...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Offers Rob Pattinson a Breath Mint

Kristen Stewart Offers Rob Pattinson a Breath Mint

VANCOUVER, B.C. - Kristen Stewart took her offscreen relationship with costar Robert Pattinson one step further today when she supplied the brooding actor with a much-needed breath mint. The act of kindness took place shortly after Stewart was ale...
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Funny story: NFL Says Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to Go Topless for National Breast Appreciation Day

NFL Says Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to Go Topless for National Breast Appreciation Day

Monday Night Football on September 28th will be the concluding event in the day long celebration of National Breast Appreciation Day. To conclude the huge festivities, the NFL has announced that the Dallas Cowboy and Carolina Panther Cheerleaders wi...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Celebrates National Ass Appreciation Day

Kristen Stewart Celebrates National Ass Appreciation Day

Since September 28th has been designated National Breast Appreciation Day by stories all over the web, it appears that on Friday the 25th of September, Kristen Stewart may have created National Ass Appreciation Day. Apparently Kristen and some of...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Wins The Whole (Chicken) Enchilada!

Kevin Skinner Wins The Whole (Chicken) Enchilada!

HOLLYWOOD - Kevin Skinner and Barbara Padilla stood side-by-side on the America's Got Talent stage. And then host Nick Cannon announced the winner of the $1 million first prize...Kevin Skinner! Skinner started crying, Padilla started crying, and G...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent's Kevin Skinner and Lawrence Beamen Trade Chicken Jokes

America's Got Talent's Kevin Skinner and Lawrence Beamen Trade Chicken Jokes

HOLLYWOOD - America's Got Talent's two top male singers Kevin Skinner and Lawrence Beamen were back stage at the AGT finals and to pass the time before their final performances they were trading chicken jokes. Skinner asked Beaman what chicken not...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Wins $1 Million Gets Marriage Proposal From OctuMom

Kevin Skinner Wins $1 Million Gets Marriage Proposal From OctuMom

LA HABRA, California - About ten minutes after Kevin Skinner won America's Got Talent's top prize of $1 million he got a congratulatory phone call from none other than OctuMom. An unnamed reliable source said that Kevin and Octy had gone out on a...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama's Weight Gain Alarms White House

Michelle Obama's Weight Gain Alarms White House

Washington DC-- Michelle Obama is putting the White House staff in full panic mode because of her startling weight gain in recent weeks. The First Lady has ballooned into a hippopotamus-sized freak almost overnight. Photo shoots and TV shows have a...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Finally Admits Martha Stewart Is Her Biological Grandmother

Kristen Stewart Finally Admits Martha Stewart Is Her Biological Grandmother

NEW YORK CITY - After months of lots and lots of speculation, intonation, contemplation, and guesstimation, unnamed reliable sources have stated that Martha Stewart is in fact Kristen Stewart's biological grandmother. Martha who is 68, and Kristen...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent's Grandma Lee Gets A Standing O

America's Got Talent's Grandma Lee Gets A Standing O

HOLLYWOOD - The feisty 75-year-old Jacksonville, Florida grandmother Grandma Lee brought the America's Got Talent house down with her comedy routine. She said that her fantasy is still to go out on a date with either Piers Morgan or David Hasselho...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson's Pussy Snatched By Phoenix Coyotes

Jessica Simpson's Pussy Snatched By Phoenix Coyotes

Phoenix, AZ - Jessica Simpson's pussy has been snatched by a member of the Phoenix Coyote hockey team, and they want to make it their mascot. An unknown member from the Phoenix Coyote hockey club went unannounced to Jessica Simpson's hotel room la...
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Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Antioch, California - Despite what is being reported in the mainstream media, Jaycee Lee Dugard did attempt to escape, only her abductor's gardening skills frustrated and foiled her endeavors. "Each morning that sick bastard -- I mean the gentlema...
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Funny story: Brown Freshman Week kinky initiation ritual for Emma Watson and Scout LaRue Willis!

Brown Freshman Week kinky initiation ritual for Emma Watson and Scout LaRue Willis!

Providence, Rhode Island - (Poison Ivy League Mess): 'A lot like the Skull And Bones but without the osteoporosis'. That's how acolytes describe the ceremonial that awaits Scarlet Letter actress Scout LaRue Willis and Harry Potter star Emma Watson...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent's Grandma Lee Says She Voting For Barbara Padilla

America's Got Talent's Grandma Lee Says She Voting For Barbara Padilla

HOLLYWOOD - Seventy-five-year-old Grandma Lee confided to America's Got Talent co-host Nick Cannon that after hearing Barbara Padilla sing on the shows finale she is voting for the gal from Guadalajara, Mexico. Abuela Lee as Barbara calls her sai...
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Funny story: Lambert's Liner Has Litterally Become His Signature

Lambert's Liner Has Litterally Become His Signature

Reporters caught up today with American Idol contestants Adam Lambert and Kris Allen, only to find that they couldn't even sit in the same room together without being able to cut the tension with a knife. After a long moment of questions followed...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star in "The Hors D'oeuvres"

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star in "The Hors D'oeuvres"

LONDON - Two of the most popular individuals on the face of the Earth, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are set to start filming a new motion picture The Hors D'oeuvres. The latest offering from famed British director Sir Alfred Burgess Braxt...
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Funny story: Grandma Lee Livid, Says She's Quitting Show Business

Grandma Lee Livid, Says She's Quitting Show Business

HOLLYWOOD - Less than 24 hours after Grandma Lee lost to Kevin Skinner and Barbara Padilla on America's Got Talent, the Jacksonville, Florida grandmother has said that she is quitting show business. Speaking from her room at The Sisters of St. Cel...
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Funny story: Grandma Lee and Barbara Padilla in Huge Catfight!

Grandma Lee and Barbara Padilla in Huge Catfight!

LOS ANGELES, CA, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 …… Grandma Lee's remarks to Barbara Padilla backstage at the America's Got Talent Semi-Finals clearly hit a nerve for the always composed lyric soprano, widely considered the contest frontrunner. "Grandma Lee w...
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Funny story: 90% Of Attendants To Mary Travers Funeral Believed To Be On Medicinal Marijuana

90% Of Attendants To Mary Travers Funeral Believed To Be On Medicinal Marijuana

Danbury, Connecticut - It has been estimated that the vast majority of the prospective attendants to the Mary Travers funeral are on medicinal marijuana, local marijuana grower Hodge Podge has stated. Therefore the church where the funeral is being h...
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Funny story: Sean Lennon & Girlfriend Pose As Famous Nude John/Yoko Photo

Sean Lennon & Girlfriend Pose As Famous Nude John/Yoko Photo

John's son, Sean Lennon and a naked Kemp Muhl (a model and said to be his girlfriend) have recreated the memorable Rolling Stone cover of Lennon's parents, Yoko Ono and John Lennon, taken by Annie Leibovitz, just hours before Lennon was shot to death...
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Funny story: Mackenzie Phillips to Oprah: "The 'Kama Sutra' is just not a very good bedtime storybook at all."

Mackenzie Phillips to Oprah: "The 'Kama Sutra' is just not a very good bedtime storybook at all."

Chicago, Illinois - "Despite what you may hear from me here today about my relationship with my dad," said sober Mackenzie Phillips, offering up dating advice to the young women in the Oprah Show audience after her spine tingling, jaw dropping, mouth...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson's Dirty Little Secret

Robert Pattinson's Dirty Little Secret

Hot on the heels of the shocking revelation that Twilight star and teen heart throb, Robert Pattinson rarely washes his hair, comes a further damaging revelation from his own mother! It seems that Pattinson isn't all that keen on washing his feet...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie's Sudden Weight Loss Concern To Many

Angelina Jolie's Sudden Weight Loss Concern To Many

Fans of Angelina who have seen the popular star lately say they are shocked at her weight loss in the past three months. Angelina is five foot seven but some say she has dropped below the one-hundred pound mark. "Her whole appearance has changed",...
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Funny story: Macy Gray, The Dancing With The Stars "Bleep-Bleep" Girl Goes Bye-Bye

Macy Gray, The Dancing With The Stars "Bleep-Bleep" Girl Goes Bye-Bye

HOLLYWOOD - Macy Gray, the official "Bleep-Bleep" girl of Dancing With The Stars has found herself "Gone-Gone." Gray the neo soul, alternative hip hop singer became the first female to be eliminated from the ninth season of DWTS. Her partner Jo...
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Funny story: Man with The World's Smallest Penis Arrested For Flashing

Man with The World's Smallest Penis Arrested For Flashing

Known as the man with the world's smallest penis, Penis Minus Wilson (Not his real name) was arrested Friday for flashing. "It was all a big mistake", Penis told the National Inquisitor. "I ain't got nothing to show." Apparently it all starte...
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Funny story: Toby Keith To Kanye West: Come Take My Microphone B*y

Toby Keith To Kanye West: Come Take My Microphone B*y

NASHVILLE - Country singer Toby Keith is fit to be tied. The highly popular singer says that he would like for Kanye Wuss (West) to jump on the stage the next time he receives an award and take the microphone away from him like he did from sweet litt...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle And Grandma Lee's Backstage Shouting Match

Susan Boyle And Grandma Lee's Backstage Shouting Match

HOLLYWOOD - While Kevin Skinner was being crowned The America's Got Talent winner and recipient of a check for $1 million and a Las Vegas performing contract two elderly ladies were backstage shouting up a storm. Scottish singing sensation Susan B...
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Funny story: Derren Brown Pulls Off Greatest Illusion To Date

Derren Brown Pulls Off Greatest Illusion To Date

Derren Brown tonight, on British television, performed the most sensational illusion of his illustrious career, perhaps more astounding even than correctly predicting last Wednesday's six winning lottery balls, when he seemed to have made the very es...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart To Star In "The Kristen Stewart Story"

Kristen Stewart To Star In "The Kristen Stewart Story"

LONDON - It has been announced that Kristen Stewart is to star in Reginald Chiswickett's The Kristen Stewart Story. Chiswickett is considered to be one of England's most respected producers. He produced four of the James Bond films including Rwand...
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Funny story: "Kentucky" Kevn Skinner Makes Piers Morgan Cry!

"Kentucky" Kevn Skinner Makes Piers Morgan Cry!

HOLLYWOOD - One of the toughest males in show business, Piers Morgan was reduced to tears on the latest edition of America's Got Talent. Morgan, who is in the same league as fellow Englishmen Simon Cowell, when it comes to being downright mean, ca...
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Funny story: Man found in flat with penis stuck in mouth

Man found in flat with penis stuck in mouth

A man has been found in a flat with another man's penis stuck in his mouth - literally! It is believed that the man who was having oral sex performed on him, was worried that he would not be able to "cum". He, thus, devised a plan where whilst rec...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Found ALIVE!

Michael Jackson Found ALIVE!

There were scenes of jubilation, combopulation and paedoration outside the Neverland ranch this afternoon, after it was announced that, despite the fact that a grand funeral was held to bury him last week, the King of Pop, Michael Jackosn, was today...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Offers Ex-Boyfriend Tony Romo Lots of Money To Take Her Back

Jessica Simpson Offers Ex-Boyfriend Tony Romo Lots of Money To Take Her Back

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Singer Jessica Simpson, still depressed about the dognapping of her dog by the California Chupacabra has reportedly called up ex-boyfriend Tony Romo and told him that she will give him a blank check if he takes her back. Tony sti...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Possessed By Michael Jackson?

Robert Pattinson Possessed By Michael Jackson?

According to Kristin Stewart, co-star Robert Pattinson has began acting very strange of late. "At first, I thought Rob was just screwing around, something he always enjoys, and singing some of Michael Jackson's songs. I mean Michael was great and...
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Funny story: Serena Williams enters heavyweight boxing title fight by mistake

Serena Williams enters heavyweight boxing title fight by mistake

American tennis player Serena Williams today mistakenly entered the WBO heavyweight boxing title fight in Madison Square Garden, New York City, thinking she was entering the US Open tennis championships. 'I had spent the morning working on my tric...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars' Maksim and Karina Call Off Their Wedding Engagement

Dancing With The Stars' Maksim and Karina Call Off Their Wedding Engagement

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars dancers Maksim Chmerkovskiy (pronounced Coors) and Karina Smirnoff (pronounced Vodka) have called off their wedding engagement. Fellow dancer and close friend Cheryl Burke said that she was shocked to hear the ne...
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Funny story: Google to Celebrate Boob Day with New Logo

Google to Celebrate Boob Day with New Logo

Mountain View, CA - The internet search behemoth Google, well-known for altering their logo to commemorate such events as Thomas Edison's birthday and the 20th anniversary of Zero Wing, has secretly commissioned graphic designers to alter their logo...
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Funny story: Pointless Chav Upstaged by even bigger Chav

Pointless Chav Upstaged by even bigger Chav

Girls Aloud "Phenomenon" Cheryl Cole was left speechless on her birthday after being upstaged by a knickerless cavernous crotch flash by her own Mum. The Girls Aloud crotch-rotter hit the town to celebrate her 26th birthday with disease-ridden se...
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Funny story: John Phillips Ex Wives Say that He Really Wanted Valerie Bertinelli, Not Daughter Mackenzie

John Phillips Ex Wives Say that He Really Wanted Valerie Bertinelli, Not Daughter Mackenzie

Two ex wifes of the late John Phillips said that the Mamas and the Papas singer never wanted to sleep with his daughter Mackenzie. Instead, Papa John really wanted to be with her cute, pixie like One Day at a Time co-star Balerie Bertinelli. Mama...
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Funny story: South African Runner Crowned Hermaphrodite 800m World Champion

South African Runner Crowned Hermaphrodite 800m World Champion

South Africa's 800m world champion Caster Semenya has undergone gender tests that have concluded the 18-year-old is a Hermaphrodite, and has all the best qualities of both sexes, it has been revealed. The tests were undertaken just hours before s...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle: the new Snow White

Susan Boyle: the new Snow White

Has anyone noticed how white Susan Boyle is? Susan Boyle - a white virginal old maid - became an instant star when her rendition of 'I Dreamed a Dream' on Britain's Got Talent was posted on the internet's popular youtube. Most of the youtube hits ca...
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Funny story: Obama Calls Kanye a Jackass

Obama Calls Kanye a Jackass

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After almost two-and-a-half centuries of repeatedly slamming American politicians for being untrustworthy, pundits across the world are ushering in a new era of complaint by blasting the President for being completely honest. Pr...
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Funny story: Jon & Kate Gosselin Attempt To Join Mile-High Club Before Divorce Final?

Jon & Kate Gosselin Attempt To Join Mile-High Club Before Divorce Final?

After months of speculation, the 10-year marriage of Jon & Kate Plus 8's stars Kate and Jon Gosselin appears to be coming to an end, or so my sources tell me. However, they may have just given it one last try, although according to the passengers...
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Funny story: Great White Sharks Tag Massachusetts Marine Fisheries Workers

Great White Sharks Tag Massachusetts Marine Fisheries Workers

CAPE COD, MA - The Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries has been tagged by two great white sharks off Cape Cod, state officials said Sunday. Friday evening's event marked the first time a great white shark has successfully tagged a human in...
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Funny story: Serena Williams Tries to Explain Away Her Potty Mouth

Serena Williams Tries to Explain Away Her Potty Mouth

Flushing Meadows, New York - "I don't know what happened," said Serena Williams as she took her seat at a table covered in microphones at a press conference she called to explain her unsportsmanlike comments to a tennis courtside judge at the U.S. Op...
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Funny story: Grandma Lee, 75, Agrees To Be Adam Lambert's Opening Act

Grandma Lee, 75, Agrees To Be Adam Lambert's Opening Act

SAN DIEGO - Adam Lambert has confirmed that America's Got Talent's comedian Grandma Lee has in fact been signed to be the opening act in his upcoming 'Lambert Loose on The Land of Music Tour.' The 75-year-old Jacksonville granny makes no secret ab...
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Funny story: Lady GaGa drops everything in Paris for a bit of Moulin Rouge, I CAN CAN, ooohh!

Lady GaGa drops everything in Paris for a bit of Moulin Rouge, I CAN CAN, ooohh!

Shocking the Parisien Paparazzi takes a lot but even they were reeling as Lady GaGa appeared wearing only a pair of hot black panties revealing her hot pink carpet and very "hot lips." She announced to the world that she was on her way to the Moul...
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Funny story: Mackenzie Phillips: druggy incest with father soothed pre-wedding nerves

Mackenzie Phillips: druggy incest with father soothed pre-wedding nerves

Los Angeles - (Reuterus): "Incest, a game that all the family can play? I guess that's why they called the band The Mamas and the Papas," lyricist's daughter Mackenzie Phillips said on TV on Wednesday. The recovering addict was quoting from a memo...
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Funny story: Kanye West Told Jay Leno He'll Agree To Wash Taylor Swift's Tour Bus

Kanye West Told Jay Leno He'll Agree To Wash Taylor Swift's Tour Bus

LOS ANGELES - Kanye West appeared on Jay Leno's new 9 P.M. Show (10 P.M. Eastern Time, 8 P.M. Mountain Time). He was dressed in the same clothes that he wore on the MTV Music Awards Show. Kanye, with his weird maze-looking haircut, sat slouched on...
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Funny story: "Kanya West Was Absolutely Right" Says Obama

"Kanya West Was Absolutely Right" Says Obama

Washington DC-- President Obama waded into another controversial subject this morning, about the events last night at the VMA (Violent Music Awards). During the award ceremony, rapper Kanya West grabbed the microphone from winner Taylor Swift and st...
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Funny story: Marilyn Manson Purchases Michael Jackson's Humanitarian Record

Marilyn Manson Purchases Michael Jackson's Humanitarian Record

LOS ANGELES, CA - In an effort to raise money to pay for the King of Pop's funeral, the cash-strapped Jackson family auctioned off Michael's humanitarian record today to the highest bidder. Going once, going twice... Sold, to Marilyn Manson! Th...
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Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard Held at Area 51

Jaycee Lee Dugard Held at Area 51

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA In a press conference at the FBI's Los Angeles office, Tina Dugard, the maternal aunt of Jaycee Lee Dugard, the California woman who mysteriously disappeared eighteen years ago, revealed that Jaycee has been sequestered along wi...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Suffering Morning Sickness?

Kristen Stewart Suffering Morning Sickness?

Kristen Stewart has been having to stop some filming scenes of late to hurry to the bathroom on the run. This has set the tongues to wagging as an inside source repeated what he had been hearing, Monday. "Several of the ladies say she is pregnant...
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Funny story: Masturbation is good for you and could be compulsory by 2010

Masturbation is good for you and could be compulsory by 2010

In Medical News the Government's new Surgeon General Sir Felchington Throb-Gland has announced that Masturbation is good for you, it is also believed that it could be compulsory by the next general election. In a speech from his Hampstead Heath M...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle's Restraining Order On Kanye West

Susan Boyle's Restraining Order On Kanye West

A judge has ordered Kanye West to desist from attempting to contact worldwide sensation Susan Boyle. Security was stepped up at the recent America's Got Talent final, with guard dogs positioned around the studio perimeter in case Kanye West attemp...
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Funny story: Danyl Johnson Receives Advice From Susan Boyle

Danyl Johnson Receives Advice From Susan Boyle

Danyl Johnson, a 27-year-old schoolteacher from Reading, England, who was sent packing from England's "The X Factor" when he first tried out in 2006, had even judge Simon Cowell floored by his recent performance on the talent show. "That was fanta...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift And Kanye West To Record A Country-Rap Christmas Album

Taylor Swift And Kanye West To Record A Country-Rap Christmas Album

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift's management agency, Wyomissing Missing Nothin' Productions, has just released word that their client has just signed on to record a country-rap Christmas album with rapper Kanye West. Bucker Bob Tuttle, executive with Swi...
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Funny story: Vikings Quarterback Brett Favre In One Hell Of A Mess!

Vikings Quarterback Brett Favre In One Hell Of A Mess!

HOUSTON - Texas Rangers Rufus Cutshaw and Dusty Youngwood took Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre into custody immediately following the Vikings 17 to 10 victory over the Houston Texans on Monday Night Football. Cutshaw said that a complain...
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Funny story: Chicago Bank Forecloses On Al Capone's Hideaway

Chicago Bank Forecloses On Al Capone's Hideaway

CHICAGO - The Lake Michigan Farmer's State Bank of Chicago has just announced that they have had to repossess the 407-acre hideaway complex of 1920's gangster Al Capone. The property which is valued at $2.6 million includes a two-story 20,000 squa...
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Funny story: George Hamilton's Son Ashley Bounced Off Dancing With The Stars

George Hamilton's Son Ashley Bounced Off Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Ashley Hamilton, the son of actor George Hamilton and professional wife Alana Hamilton Stewart was the first male contestant to be voted off of Dancing With The Stars. The 34-year-old Hamilton was asked why he thought he lost. He smile...
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Funny story: President Obama Says He Didn't Call Kanye West A Jackass, He Called Him A Dumbass

President Obama Says He Didn't Call Kanye West A Jackass, He Called Him A Dumbass

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama today issued a statement saying that he did not call rapper Kanye West a jackass. The president said that what he did call the rappin' bro was a dumbass. The president was quick to point out that there is a funda...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Finally Admits To "Vitamingate"

Robert Pattinson Finally Admits To "Vitamingate"

LONDON - Robert Pattinson, actor, model, singer, and part-time crumpets taster has admitted to BBC's Louella Buckinghamshire that he has been successfully treated for an addiction to vitamin pills. Pattinson said that he first started taking vitam...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle's Album "Since His Penis Came Between Us" Tops Charts

Susan Boyle's Album "Since His Penis Came Between Us" Tops Charts

The best-known Britain's Got Talent contestant by far, Susan Boyle, should be really happy to know that her debut album, "Since His Penis Came Between Us" has topped the bestsellers list before its release, according to Radio Music. The album tit...
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Funny story: Pattinson, Stewart Go To See Medium About Vampires

Pattinson, Stewart Go To See Medium About Vampires

A source has told this reporter that Robert Pattinson and gal favorite, Kristin Stewart thought it would be a lark to go to see a real medium just for the fun of it, and inquire about vampires. Apparently they were told about an old lady in Canada...
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Funny story: New Moon Leaked, Girls' heads' Explode!

New Moon Leaked, Girls' heads' Explode!

There was outrage today from parents whose teenage daughters' heads exploded after watching The Twilight Saga: New Moon full movie which was leaked on the internet. Seven girls, aged from 13-17, were watching the movie, which was due to come out o...
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Funny story: Banana Shaped Penises linked to Brain Power

Banana Shaped Penises linked to Brain Power

THE shape of a man's penis can reveal how sexually and mentally alert he will be in later life, according to new research by the University of Glasgow. Sexologists found that men with more banana shaped penises were less likely to experience a slo...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil Psychoanalyses Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor

Dr. Phil Psychoanalyses Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor

"You got to be the sickest bastard I've ever psychoanalyzed," said a visibly shaken Dr. Phil after psychoanalyzing Philip Garrido, Jaycee Lee Dugard's abductor via close circuit TV during a commercial break. "In fact, you're so sick that now I'll pro...
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Funny story: 78 year old man gets four hour erection--donates

78 year old man gets four hour erection--donates

A seventy-eight year old man in Louisburg, NC has reported that after taking erectile dysfunction medicine, he has regularly experienced a four hour erection. Warnings about this condition appear regularly on the TV ads regardng this and other ED med...
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Funny story: Naked Man Holds Burglar At Penis Point For Four Hours

Naked Man Holds Burglar At Penis Point For Four Hours

In Lake Charles, Louisiana - Authorities here said a naked 81-year-old man was able to hold a drunken intruder, who may have been trying to burglarize the place, at pecker point until deputies arrived, nearly four hours later. Gladstone Gandhi jum...
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Funny story: Taliban Groupie Gets Her Naked Ass Whipped Again

Taliban Groupie Gets Her Naked Ass Whipped Again

Assera Abida, an Iraqi woman who has a kink for having her naked ass beaten by rods, went through another wonderful episode again Monday, according to a village leader who, from risk of losing his tongue, wanted to remain anonymous. According to t...
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Funny story: Polanski joins long list of celeb warrants stings says LA County DA

Polanski joins long list of celeb warrants stings says LA County DA

California - (Gotcha!): Years of eurotrash legal humbuggery has bombed this weekend as Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley finally got his guy. "Polanski's been as damn' slippery as that General Pinochet," Cooley told a press briefi...
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Funny story: Wolf Blitzer Weighs In on His Devastating Loss at Celebrity Jeopardy

Wolf Blitzer Weighs In on His Devastating Loss at Celebrity Jeopardy

New York, New York - CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer is saying "It's my turn!" after fielding a blitz of media and internet mockery following his humiliating last-place finish on Thursday's edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. Blitzer lost Double Jeopardy with...
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Funny story: Daisy Dog Simpson Found in Desert

Daisy Dog Simpson Found in Desert

Los Angeles, CA: After an intense 4-day search, Jessica Simpson's dog was found alive, 150 miles from where it was reported dognapped. Daisy, a 5-year-old Maltipoo, was dehydrated and dazed, but otherwise had remarkably few injuries for its ordeal.
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Funny story: Khloe Kardashian Loses Her Virginity

Khloe Kardashian Loses Her Virginity

A blushing Khloe Kardashian walked down the aisle today with basketball star Lamar Odum. She admitted reservations about losing her virginity. "I've been saving myself for marriage", the 25 year old star of Keeping Up With the Kardashians told th...
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Funny story: Macy "Bleep-Bleep" Gray Drives The Dancing With The Stars Censors Crazy

Macy "Bleep-Bleep" Gray Drives The Dancing With The Stars Censors Crazy

HOLLYWOOD - The raspy-voiced neo soul singer Macy Gray only managed to score 15 points out of a possible 30 on the Ladies Night version of Dancing With The Stars. And although she may not capture the coveted "Mirror Ball Trophy" she will certainly...
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Funny story: President Obama Mispronounces Daughter Malia's Name, Calls Her Jennifer

President Obama Mispronounces Daughter Malia's Name, Calls Her Jennifer

NEW YORK CITY - The president of the United States Barack Obama was in the Big Apple to appear on a live telecast on CNN, the network that he says has 20 times more nicer 'peeps' than the Fox Network does. The president was discussing the origins...
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Funny story: It's A Cruel World - Writer With Miniscule Penis Goes For A Long Walk

It's A Cruel World - Writer With Miniscule Penis Goes For A Long Walk

Concerns raised today regarding the well being of Spoof contributor Skoob, who was gutted that fellow Spoofers betrayed him when they made public his concerns over being the not very proud possessor of a Tom Thumb penis. Skoob had aired his anguis...
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Funny story: Venus Williams Makes a Woman of Caster Semenya

Venus Williams Makes a Woman of Caster Semenya

In a surprise development, tennis star Venus Williams announced her engagement to embattled South African runner Caster Semenya. Caster, who has endured numerous questions about her gender, eagerly showed off the 5 carat engagement ring at a press co...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton Dumps Wills: Finally Shows Some Sense

Kate Middleton Dumps Wills: Finally Shows Some Sense

In a startling development today, Kate Middleton, heretofore suspected by some of being a hologram rather than a person, called a press conference during which she told William, Lord Prince of All He Surveys, to buzz off. "I mean to say," she sai...
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Funny story: Kevin Skinner Unknown Outside Of The USA

Kevin Skinner Unknown Outside Of The USA

Kevin Skinner, recently the winner of America's Got Talent, is unknown outside of the US, it has been reported. Skinner, 35, won the show with a gripping rendition of the Aerosmith ditty I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, after receiving more than 90% of...
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Funny story: GOP Contemplates Psychological Intervention as Obama's ADHD Revealed!

GOP Contemplates Psychological Intervention as Obama's ADHD Revealed!

Washington, DC/ Walter Reed Army Hospital/ Top Secret Medical Update - Political Pundits throughout the nation's capitol huddled in small groups and spoke in whispers discussing a top secret medical report leaked by Joe Biden, confirming what everyon...
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Funny story: Hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya, Endorses Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids

Hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya, Endorses Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids

Johannesburg, South Africa - If successful, a generation of men will never know the humiliation of having their mothers show family, friends and their girlfriends their naked baby pictures, because no longer will millions of mothers have to take pict...
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Funny story: Kanye West Hijacks President Obama's Microphone

Kanye West Hijacks President Obama's Microphone

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Kanye West took the microphone from President Obama during a Monday press conference just as the President was being mercilessly grilled about health care. Both the press and the President voiced strong disapproval of West inter...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen Faces Down "Debunkers" on Larry King Live

Charlie Sheen Faces Down "Debunkers" on Larry King Live

Los Angeles-Actor Charlie Sheen stirred controversy Thursday night during an appearance on "Larry King Live". Dressed in nothing but a pair of briefs and a tin foil hat, Sheen lived up to his commitment to a panel of three "so-called" 9/11 "debunker...
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Funny story: PETA Celebrates Kevin Skinner's Win of America's Got Talent - Chickens Rejoice Worldwide - KFC is Devastated

PETA Celebrates Kevin Skinner's Win of America's Got Talent - Chickens Rejoice Worldwide - KFC is Devastated

PETA organizations worldwide are celebrating the victory of Kevin Skinner, a chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky, who won America's Got Talent, the popular reality television entertainment contest. PETA, an acronym for People for the Ethical...
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Funny story: Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

San Francisco, California - "You know that song about a boy and his dragon that I would sing to you all the time?" reminisced Mary Travers in a low soft-spoken voice to her family and friends and a reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that gathered...
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