Funny story: Corrupt Bastards Club Bill Allen goes down for three years

Corrupt Bastards Club Bill Allen goes down for three years

Anchorage - (Bong Hits 4 Juneau!): Karma caught up with former VECO and Corrupt Bastards Club grand master Bill Allen today. US District Court Judge John Sedwick sent him down for three years and fined him three quarters of a million dollars for...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Stars In "The Attack of The Chupacabra"

Amy Winehouse Stars In "The Attack of The Chupacabra"

HOLLYWOOD - Silver Screen Films an independent movie company has announced that they have just finished shooting the full-length motion picture The Attack of The Chupacabra. The movie was filmed on location in the town of Dime Box, Texas. Dime Box...
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Funny story: One Night Stand - A Halloween Story

One Night Stand - A Halloween Story

Barton looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair looked great, clean-shaven, and with his favourite blue silk shirt on he was bound to pull a bird tonight . He thought he'd try that new snazzy wine bar that had just opened in town, Bar Chique. Barton lived for sex. Sex with strangers excited him. At thirty-three he had notched up well over two hundred casual lays on his bed-pos...
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Funny story: Oxford English Dictionary has now 111 words

Oxford English Dictionary has now 111 words

We had reported earlier this week that Oxford English Dictionary had been rewritten and redesigned offering an up to date and real language database. The latest edition published this morning is again only 15 pages thick but contains one new word...
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Funny story: Drug Manufacturer Reveals Swine Flu Vaccine Actually Placebo

Drug Manufacturer Reveals Swine Flu Vaccine Actually Placebo

Dr. Harvey Patel decided to do the right thing according to his conscience and blow the whistle on the H1N1 vaccine. Patel admitted to television reporters on several morning television shows that the swine flu vaccine currently being distributed wo...
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Funny story: Vegetarian discovers benefits of GM crops

Vegetarian discovers benefits of GM crops

The old adage, "you are what you eat", has a great deal of meaning for Corinna Mill, of Spurrfeld, Ore. In fact, this 98-years-young vegetarian credits her longevity to insisting on eating nothing but Genetically Modified (GM) food. GM food is made from crops which have DNA engineered to give them special attributes which farmers have been seeking ever since the 1940s. "Since I have been e...
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Funny story: Jackson 5, Mach 2

Jackson 5, Mach 2

LAS VEGAS, NV - Jackson 5 patriarch Joe "ol' Devil Eyebrows" Jackson claims to have found the next big thang in music, i.e., God help us, a new Jackson 5. The five, who range in age from 4 to 39, all were found in and around Las Vegas - two failed...
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Funny story: Scientists Prove Theorom

Scientists Prove Theorom

For many years, people have accepted the theorom "the angle of the dangle is equal to the heat of the meat." A government sponsored research group at M.I.T., after three years and at the cost of over four hundred million dollars, has proven this to...
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Funny story: Chat show chair in tragic spontaneous combustion

Chat show chair in tragic spontaneous combustion

Yesterday, "The Jeremy Kyle Show" was rocked by the news that one of its chairs had spontaneously combusted following a special edition of the controversial chat show, which usually sees families and friends airing their problems in front of a live s...
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Funny story: James May causes controversy over Airfix Spitfire

James May causes controversy over Airfix Spitfire

Top Gear presenter, James May, never quite got over his childhood ambitions and so the BBC have created a reality TV series in which the 46-year-old can indulge in some of his obsessions. In the latest showing of James May's Toy Story, he decided to...
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Funny story: The Doctor is Marrying WHO?

The Doctor is Marrying WHO?

SOMEWHERE NEAR CHICAGO, US - A writer for online satire sensation TheSpoof.com has announced her engagement to yummy actor David Tennant, best known for his intense portrayal of the 10th incarnation of The Doctor in the seminal British sci-fi series...
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Funny story: Griffin Vows To 'Spice-Up' Final Big Brother

Griffin Vows To 'Spice-Up' Final Big Brother

'Big Brother is essentially repetitive, voyeuristic nonsense. The public is fed up with nobodies lounging around and moaning every time they have to dress up as a shrimp or a matador to do a task. Next year, if I'm successful, Britain will finally se...
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Funny story: Bargis Tryhol Spotted Dating Lorena Bobbitt

Bargis Tryhol Spotted Dating Lorena Bobbitt

Bargis Tryhol, the acknowledged record holder as the man with the world's largest penis (length, girth, total weight, flacid, and erect) was spotted in a New York City night club with Lorena Bobbit. After drinking and dancing, they were seen leaving...
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Funny story: Obama Approves Dingleberries As Fruit On School Lunch Menu

Obama Approves Dingleberries As Fruit On School Lunch Menu

During the 1980's, President Reagan and his administration received a large amount of bad publicity for naming ketchup a vegetable on the school lunch menu. Thus far, there has been no backlash at Barack Obama adding dingleberries to the list of app...
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Funny story: Pirates capture lilo of the coast of Dover

Pirates capture lilo of the coast of Dover

A lilo has been spotted by the British Navy off the coast of Dover,UK in the search for a British couple thought to have been captured by pirates. A spokesman said their warships were in "close vicinity' and radar range but were keeping their dist...
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Funny story: MacBarfers secret BigBarf burger recipe revealed

MacBarfers secret BigBarf burger recipe revealed

MacBarfers, the American multinational company that has for years tried to poison the world's teenagers, was today in crisis when an undercover reporter managed to find out the carefully hidden secret recipe for their multi-million selling BigBarf burger. The reporter - who for reasons of security we will call John MacDonald of 23a Wisteria Avenue, Basingstoke, Westhamlostagain - disguised as a...
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Funny story: England won final massive drinking Test to regain The Ashes

England won final massive drinking Test to regain The Ashes

After one of the closest and hardest-fought Tests of alcoholic consumption between England and Australia since the 1970s, England finally emerged victorious to regain The Ashes at the Kennington Oval in London this summer. Speaking from the Englan...
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Funny story: No more 'Beach Ball Parties' at Liverpool matches, as Special victim trauma helpline installed!

No more 'Beach Ball Parties' at Liverpool matches, as Special victim trauma helpline installed!

ANFIELD, LIVERPOOL: Today at a special news briefing at Liverpool Football Club, Rafa Benitez flanked by Police Officer's from Merseyside's top Police Football Division, including P.C. Dixon of The Docks-Liverpool, made this formal statement; "My name is Rafa Benitez, the Manager of Liverpool Football Club. This special news conference has been called today, as Merseyside Police have today la...
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Funny story: Tennis star admits crystal meth binge

Tennis star admits crystal meth binge

After today admitting taking crystal meth (methamphetamine) in 1997, then lying through his dentally enhanced teeth by telling the ATA that someone had, and I quote, 'contaminated' his glass. Tennis star, Andre Gaseous told reporters. "I am so, lik...
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Funny story: Five Star reappear

Five Star reappear

Long-forgotten manufactured English kiddie pop band Five Star have made a comeback this year, and tonight they will be appearing at London's Jacko McWacko Theatre for the Deaf.. 'It was, like, like, like so ... so ...' 'Interesting?, a passing rio...
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Funny story: 'This Is Shit' premieres today

'This Is Shit' premieres today

Fans and family of the late entertainer Michael Blackyawn - if you can call it entertaining, prancing about squeaking on stage with lots of children - were queuing in their tens across the world today for a last chance to see their hero looking like...
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Funny story: Due to Inflation, Genie's Reduce Bottle Release Wishes to Two

Due to Inflation, Genie's Reduce Bottle Release Wishes to Two

If you find a bottle, rub it, and discover that a Genie (Djinn) has magically appeared before you in a cloud of smoke, you can no longer expect to receive the customary three wishes. Edna Talmud, spokesman for Genie's Local 182, has announced that G...
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Funny story: Farmer's Wife In Jail For Cruelty To Animals

Farmer's Wife In Jail For Cruelty To Animals

Mrs. Cecilia Scoggins, wife of Farmer John Scoggins, has been arrested on charges of cruelty to animals. The police report states that on September 31st, Mrs. Scoggins apprehended three blind mice in her kitchen and cut off their tails with a carvin...
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Funny story: English Anger Over Being Ruled By Scotland

English Anger Over Being Ruled By Scotland

Sadly inadequate English citizens, that have relied on Scottish oil and whisky taxes for decades to make themselves stay rich, this week decided to shoot themselves in the foot by using feeble criticisms of a tiny nation of 5 million people that rule...
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Funny story: Woody Allen walked out of the Church of Scientology

Woody Allen walked out of the Church of Scientology

Woody Allen walked out of the Church of Scientology. He has officially denied any association with the church saying that he has nothing to do with church or science and that he had walked in the building mistaking it for a new brothel. Allen exp...
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Funny story: Tony Blair to move to Buckingham Palace

Tony Blair to move to Buckingham Palace

It has been revealed that Tony Blair, once he becomes the EU President, intends asking the EU Commissioners to allow him, and Lady Blair, to reside at Buckingham Palace, as befits his new role, as the all-powerful President of Europe. Her Majesty,...
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Funny story: Tony Blair turns down presidency

Tony Blair turns down presidency

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has shocked European leaders by refusing the nomination of EU President. Blair who, behind-the-scenes has been lobbying hard for the role, is said to have made the U-turn after talks with aides. Blair was said t...
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Funny story: 'Jingle Bells' by Barack Obama released in Israel for Christmas

'Jingle Bells' by Barack Obama released in Israel for Christmas

In honor of the peaceful and democratic people of Israel, and their sensitive handling of a handful of armed gangsters in the Gaza Strip there, US President Obama today released his own version of 'Jingle Bells' for his Israeli fans: 'Dashing through the sand In a one-man open tank O'er stolen Pali land Laughing as we slay Can't hear a US voice Telling us what's right Oh, what fun it...
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Funny story: Lenny Henry to re-open Crossroads

Lenny Henry to re-open Crossroads

Comic relief and funnyman Lenny Henry is to re-open Crossroads. The self-styled 'Birmingham buffoon' is already the face of the 'Anyone Inn' but having caught the B&B bug is now branching out on his own. Crossroads, the 1970s soap opera fam...
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Funny story: Swine Flu Could Wipe Out Football Season

Swine Flu Could Wipe Out Football Season

Following the outbreak of swine flu at Blackburn Rovers there are fears that the football fixture list could be decimated. Sam Allardyce, the Rovers boss set the blame squarely at the door the of the Premier League, and hinted that the infection m...
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Funny story: World War II veterans incensed by Transatlantic slight

World War II veterans incensed by Transatlantic slight

WWII veterans across the country are joined in mutual condemnation of what they see as an erosion of the mother tongue that they fought for, and many of their contemporaries died for. Ex Corporal Tommy Atkins, late of the 7th Essex Carrier Pigeons...
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Funny story: The next thing drivers cannot touch

The next thing drivers cannot touch

The Great British Police force is attempting to have a law passed to make the roads safer for all concerned. "We have analysed the statistics," said DI Phil Inns, of the Greater Manchester Police Department Traffic Division. "A while ago, we notic...
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Funny story: Obama Hires Ghostbusters To Rid White House Of Lincoln's Ghost

Obama Hires Ghostbusters To Rid White House Of Lincoln's Ghost

(Washington DC)-- President Obama is finally doing something presidents should have done many years ago. The Obamas are hiring some ghostbusters to rid the White House of an obnoxious spirit--the spirit of President Lincoln. The unhappy ghost has h...
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Funny story: Solar Powered Vibrator Rattles Store Shelves this Christmas

Solar Powered Vibrator Rattles Store Shelves this Christmas

Sacramento, CA. - Sensitive to public interest in energy conservation and a reduction in hazardous landfill waste including discarded AA to D sized batteries, Happy Time Latex Products announced the availability of a full line of alternatively fuelle...
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Funny story: Signs you may be addicted to your online networking site:

Signs you may be addicted to your online networking site:

....You're in a hot tub having sex with two supermodels and all you can think about is getting out to Tweet about it. ....You just confirmed Osama bin Laden and Bernie Madoff as Facebook friends. ....You just got a tattoo that says "Born to Twitter". ....You killed a drifter just so you could have something interesting to post. ....You just changed your relationship status to involved...
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Funny story: IRS denies hope to the poor

IRS denies hope to the poor

Infernal Revenue Service HQ, Underground Lair - The IRS announced today a new program to dash the hopes of the poor and middle class workers of America, and the upper-middle class Americans to boot. A new program is being developed to specifically...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown offers naming rights for number 10

Gordon Brown offers naming rights for number 10

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has today announced that the government will sell the naming rights to Number 10 Downing Street in a bid to raise much-needed cash for the ailing British economy. The successful bidders will be able to incorporate their...
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Funny story: Andre Agassi: my crystal ball myth

Andre Agassi: my crystal ball myth

Blushing Meadows - (YouCannaBeSerious!): Eight times grand slam champ Andre Agassi has denied reports 'some sort of crystal ball' was behind his astonishing sporting presicence. The retired tennis pro has put down his extraordinary psychic ability...
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Funny story: George P. Bush to follow family legacy

George P. Bush to follow family legacy

Ponderosa, Texas - George P. Bush is young, telegenic and in a deliberate plan to appeal to America's fastest growing minority, half-Hispanic. He is also in the Reserves, carrying on the proud tradition of keeping American towns free of aggressive i...
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Funny story: Tom defends Scientology

Tom defends Scientology

Clearwater, Florida - Tired of crazy allegations that they believe in a Galactic Warlord named Zenu, Tom went on Oprah Winfrey's show to set the record straight. "No", said Tom, "We do not believe in Zenu. His name is Xenu, and he is an intergala...
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Funny story: President Obama Instructs Congress to Reduce Spending

President Obama Instructs Congress to Reduce Spending

In a fleeting moment of sanity on Capital Hill today President Obama addressed Congress giving instructions for the up coming budget. Obama stressed that the federal government must do the same as the American people are having to do in these difficu...
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Funny story: X-Factor Stars Announce New Contract

X-Factor Stars Announce New Contract

X-Factor contestants John and Edward have announced a new advertising contract, it was announced today. John and Edward Grimes, the nineteen-year-old twins who have entertained X-Factor audiences with their unprecedented lack of talent, have offic...
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Funny story: Monsanto Invents Vegimal, A Pet You Can Eat

Monsanto Invents Vegimal, A Pet You Can Eat

There has been a lot of hoohah about Genetically Modified Food, and the dangers of tampering with a plant's gene code, but Monsanto have just announced the imminent release of a project they have been working on for several years. Gene Rottenberry...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift Performs On Dancing With The Stars Without Incident

Taylor Swift Performs On Dancing With The Stars Without Incident

HOLLYWOOD - Country music's little sweetheart Taylor Swift was a guest on Dancing With The Stars. The 19-year-old performed two songs without any incident. One of the shows producers Bernadette Penderlicki said that the show hired six undercover s...
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Funny story: Sports Commentator Bob Griese Suspended For His "Taco" Remark

Sports Commentator Bob Griese Suspended For His "Taco" Remark

NEW YORK CITY - College Football Broadcaster Bob Griese has been suspended by ESPN Sports for making an out-of-line taco remark during the Great Lakes of Michigan College and Solid State University football game in Kalamazoo, Michigan. ESPN Spokes...
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Funny story: "John McEnwho?", asks many

"John McEnwho?", asks many

Clayton, Missouri - The latest National Car Rental commercials have most people in America asking, "Who's the old dorky guy?" In a move that baffles industry experts, the car rental company has chose to hire a "compensated endorser" who is as much a...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict forgives the heathen

Pope Benedict forgives the heathen

Vatican City - Pope Benedict, taking a lesson from those who forgave his complicity in the Holocaust, has chosen to receive a divine revelation, allowing him to forgive those who strayed from Christ's message of idolatry and popery. "It is time to...
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