Funny story: The 2009, #1 Selling Scariest Halloween Trick or Treat Mask - Roman Polanski

The 2009, #1 Selling Scariest Halloween Trick or Treat Mask - Roman Polanski

WAPAKONETA, Ohio - The Great Grandma Buckeye Halloween Costume, Mask, and Outfit Company of Wapakoneta has just announced that the number one selling scariest Halloween Trick or Treat mask for 2009 is the Roman Polanski mask. Company President Sax...
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Funny story: "Shoot-your-own" baboon restaurant opening soon

"Shoot-your-own" baboon restaurant opening soon

Macho foodie critic A A Gill is to open his own restaurant in the monkey enclosure at London Zoo. Called The Funky Gibbon it will offer diners a new opportunity - to shoot their own dinner. Guests, who will be CRB checked, and must own a firearm...
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Funny story: A Day in the Life Of Barack Hussein Obama

A Day in the Life Of Barack Hussein Obama

7:00 Wake up after dreaming I'm Abraham Lincoln 7:10 Switch off tape of 'How to Speak Like a 1700s preacher' that's been running all night beside my bed 7:15 Have breakfast of organic, freetrade Guyanan coffee, and a slice of old, feeble baloney 7:30 Receive daily phone call from Israel, telling me what to do today, and reminding me that the next set of tanks are now due for delivery, as...
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Funny story: Man killed in restaurant for eating pie

Man killed in restaurant for eating pie

The case for the Manchester pie killing was closed yesterday with a guilty verdict against the staff of London based 'Boobies Family Steakhouse' of killing Manchester man and pie lover Anthony Morgan after he was caught eating a pie. Mr Morgan (56...
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Funny story: Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

A four year old boy is in intensive care today after a five hour operation to restore his brain back into his head. The boy's mother told us, "I kept telling him not to pick his nose because his brain will fall out, but he wouldn't listen!" Dr...
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Funny story: Phonetap 'shows Karadzic discussing Muslim daughter'

Phonetap 'shows Karadzic discussing Muslim daughter'

The Hague - (Kay-Four): The International War Crimes tribunal today heard wiretap evidence of Radovan Karadzic 'discussing his Muslim daughter'. The genocide trial of the fiendish Bosnian Serb ex-leader was stunned by the new testimony which Prose...
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Funny story: London destroyed by space meteor - actually a hoax

London destroyed by space meteor - actually a hoax

This week, 24 hour world news coverage has been depicting London as a huge flaming crater after a devastating meteor impact. But when humanitarian aid arrived in London today at a cost of £300,000,000,000.97 everything seemed fine with no evidenc...
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Funny story: Cowell Defends Talent Show Judge Choice

Cowell Defends Talent Show Judge Choice

With The X-Factor reaching it's climax, concern mounts over what critics call 'an absolute bloody farce', after Cowell named his choice for a special guest judge to join the team for the final show. Speaking from his home in Bracknell, Cowell, yel...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse's New Boobs Put Fear Of God Into Gay Photographer

Amy Winehouse's New Boobs Put Fear Of God Into Gay Photographer

Amy Winehouse's boob job may be old news to seasoned hacks, but for gay papparazzi member Johnson Love III a spot of overexposure has led to sleepless nights, tremours, and bouts of delerium. Johnson's ordeal began two nights ago when he went off...
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Funny story: "Boomerang" Anglicans Return to Episcopal Church - Blame Vatican's 'Bait and Switch'

"Boomerang" Anglicans Return to Episcopal Church - Blame Vatican's 'Bait and Switch'

Citing classic "bait and switch" tactics, Episcopalian defectors the world over have returned to their original churches, leading Catholics to dub them "Boomeranglicans" or boomerang Anglicans. Father Phillip G. Christopher, pastor of the Church o...
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Funny story: HarperCollins estimates 1 out of 200 U.S. citizens are idiots

HarperCollins estimates 1 out of 200 U.S. citizens are idiots

New York City, New York - At HarperCollins, researchers have shown that the proportion of idiots to Americans is approximately 1 out of 200. Therefore, they are getting ready to release 1.5 million hardcover editions of "Going Rogue" by *ahem* Sara...
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Funny story: Maddie McCann conceived via IVF donor embryo? Nah...

Maddie McCann conceived via IVF donor embryo? Nah...

Rothley - (Sunny Side Up): 'Maddie a triplet, conceived from a donated embryo,' Halo! magazine sources claimed today as Praia da Iluzion wingnuts' latest whopper began doing the rounds. The story speculates she has 'disappeared' to join her identi...
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Funny story: Farting reaches danger levels in the EU

Farting reaches danger levels in the EU

The European Commission is proposing new levels of total allowable fart (TAF) for each member state of the Union. The proposal is based on scientific advice from the Carbon Control Group CCG about the level of farting in the EU reaching dangerous lev...
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Funny story: Ghosts Open Furniture Moving Company

Ghosts Open Furniture Moving Company

Philadelphia, PA - Some local ghosts are ignoring the recession and have decided to open up their own furniture moving company. 'The Other Side Moving Company' opened their doors to business last month and they are scaring away all the competition.
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Funny story: Windows 7 is a virus

Windows 7 is a virus

Microsoft has released its new operating system Windows 7. Here are a few tips on what to look out for. Step 1: Can you upgrade? For starters, you need to check with your GP whether you are fit to cope with a system upgrade stress which proved rather worrying last time you upgraded from XP to Vista. Your GP may advise you to stay put instead of risking a permanent damage to your brain for th...
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Funny story: Bordello Falls 8: The Alamo pales into insignificance as Bordello Falls into it's "Last Stand"

Bordello Falls 8: The Alamo pales into insignificance as Bordello Falls into it's "Last Stand"

The Streets Of Bordello Falls Chapter Eight The Alamo pales into insignificance as Bordello Falls into it's "Last Stand" Recap: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 The passing topsy - turvy years had cast a scar across the windswept, dusty mainroad linking east with west through Bordello Falls. Times were quieter, but on this particular b...
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Funny story: IAU counter-sued by Patrick Phair

IAU counter-sued by Patrick Phair

Paris, France - Patrick Phair, son of the now deceased Venetia Burney, the girl who had been the only woman on Earth to name a planet, is counter-suing the International Astronomical Union for damages. In dispute again is Pluto, and whether it sho...
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Funny story: U.N. Peacekeeping forces take over KFC

U.N. Peacekeeping forces take over KFC

Louisville, Kentucky - This city received quite a surprise when it was occupied to day by peacekeeping forces deployed from the United Nations. The mulitnational force from India, Sweden, Italy and Russia quickly overwhelmed the local police and Nat...
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Funny story: Donny Osmond's Railroad Jitterbug On Dancing With The Stars Earns Him Three 8's

Donny Osmond's Railroad Jitterbug On Dancing With The Stars Earns Him Three 8's

HOLLYWOOD - Donny "The Stormin' Mormon" Osmond once again showed that the Man from Utah is a virtual dancing machine. Donny and his dance partner Kym Johnson pretty much covered every square foot of the studio dance floor with their jitterbug rend...
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Funny story: Somali pirates hijack story is a hoax says canoe man Darwin

Somali pirates hijack story is a hoax says canoe man Darwin

HMP Wormwood Scrubs - (Fishy Tales): Jailed canoe accident faker John Darwin has told inmates the highjacking by Somali pirates of Tunbridge Wells couple Paul and Rachel Chandler "is probably a fake". "Hahaha," Darwin chuckled, "maybe that's where...
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Funny story: Jordan to not visit British soldiers to boost Taleban morale

Jordan to not visit British soldiers to boost Taleban morale

Plastic-chested model and television celebrity Katie Price, who calls herself Jordan after her obvious heroine from the 1970s, today announced she was going to Afghanistan to boost the morale of the hard-pressed Taleban soldiers there. 'Who's Jord...
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Funny story: Southend To Drop The 'U' From Their Name, And Add An 'E'

Southend To Drop The 'U' From Their Name, And Add An 'E'

Officials from HM Revenue and Customs have said that Southend United should drop the 'u' from Southend, and add an extra 'e' after they sought to place the League One side into administration because of an unpaid tax bill. They would be known as S...
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Funny story: Opting Out Of Earth....T-Baggers & Birthers In Mass Exodus To Moon

Opting Out Of Earth....T-Baggers & Birthers In Mass Exodus To Moon

In a stunning announcement today, a spokesman for The T-Bagger and Birther movements stated that they were leaving in mass to emigrate to the moon. "We have had enough" said the spokesman, "and we're not going to take it any longer. We are going...
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Funny story: The Obama Book of Revelation

The Obama Book of Revelation

This is the Book of Revelation of Obama, written by the scribes of Cheney in the year two score and three. And in the land there were many false prophets and charlatans, and many spake ill of one another, and the people were sorely puzzled, and some wished for a saviour. 'Where is our Messiah?', they cried, and rent their clothes and gnashed their teeth, for there was much unhappiness across th...
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Funny story: Adolf Hitler to become new president of the European Union

Adolf Hitler to become new president of the European Union

Former German dictator and Nazi leader Adolf Hitler is to become the European Union's first president. Speaking at the annual Nuremberg rally to commemorate the 1923 beerhall putsch in Munich, Hitler said to 125,000 fanatical Nazis: 'Look, um, hi,...
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Funny story: Paranormal TV show star to show breasts on British television

Paranormal TV show star to show breasts on British television

Broadcasters of popular spoof TV comedy ghost hunter programme, Least Haunted, hit back, today, at public criticism of the show's immensely talented and articulate, yeah, right, main presenter, Yvonne Batting's decision to show her breasts on British...
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Funny story: Hull City Manager Phil Brown Caught Shopping For Strange Items In Hull Market

Hull City Manager Phil Brown Caught Shopping For Strange Items In Hull Market

Hull City manager Phil Brown was again the focus of intense media attention this week, when several confused shoppers spotted him hunting for strange, mythical items. Brown is under pressure to keep the Tigers in the Premier League, a task looking...
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Funny story: Spoof Consortium Takes over Icelandic Fast Food Franchises; Forced to Swallow Massive Debt for Liverpool and Man U For Dessert!

Spoof Consortium Takes over Icelandic Fast Food Franchises; Forced to Swallow Massive Debt for Liverpool and Man U For Dessert!

Reykjavik, Iceland/ Financial Botulism Capitol of the World - Calling it 'the chance of life time', a consortium of Spoof Writers from around the globe have jumped in to purchase the rights of 3 failed McFrugal hamburger joints, and in the process al...
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Funny story: People Don't Like X-Factor's Danyl Johnson Because He Looks Like Richard Nixon

People Don't Like X-Factor's Danyl Johnson Because He Looks Like Richard Nixon

LONDON - Simon Cowell is furious that his protege, Danyl Johnson was in the bottom two of the last edition of X-Factor. Cowell said that 27-year-old Berkshire native Danyl along with America's Adam Lambert are the two best singers he has heard in...
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Funny story: FA Introduce Revolutionary Rule

FA Introduce Revolutionary Rule

Following the many unfair decisions made by referee's the FA has decided to trial a fairer time keeping scheme which will ease the pressure on the referee allowing him to make the trickier decisions without the worry as to how long the game is taking...
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Funny story: Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

"Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood." - This was the typical response that climate change experts experienced when lobbying a random cross-section of trees during last months investigation into the possibiliti...
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Funny story: The Jay Leno Show May Be Moving To 3 A.M. (Eastern), 2 A.M. (Central)

The Jay Leno Show May Be Moving To 3 A.M. (Eastern), 2 A.M. (Central)

LOS ANGELES - NBC executives are really starting to worry as the ratings for The Jay Leno Show continue to drop. Last week TV Guideline Magazine critic Wallace Foofulecki noted that the Leno Show had been beaten by The Condiment Channel. And no...
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Funny story: Change your name or get sued

Change your name or get sued

History is littered with companies that have been forced to change their names because somebody else got there first. The most recent high profile case was The World Wrestling Federation attempting to wrestle the name WWF off the World Wildlife Fund.
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Funny story: Sean Penn seeks Manson interview

Sean Penn seeks Manson interview

Corcoran, California - Sean Penn is seeking an interview with a personal hero and idol of his, Charles Manson, who he has said he regards as "his father". Sean is said to want to star as Manson in a movie he hopes to make about his life and vision.
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Funny story: Tory woman's affair with a tree

Tory woman's affair with a tree

A Conservative parliamentary candidate faces deselection over an affair she had with a tree more than four years ago. South West Norfolk Conservative Association members are angry Elizabeth Truss did not let them know about the affair. Party lead...
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Funny story: Raymond Jessop: "I am a tool of The Lord!"

Raymond Jessop: "I am a tool of The Lord!"

Texas - (Rotters): Dismissing pre-trial arguments that Warren Jeff's sidekick is 'a divine instrument' Judge Larry Seidlin - er...state District Judge Barbara Walther! - told the accused "Don't screw with the law!" The Yearning For Zion polygamy n...
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Funny story: Jacko vault armed guard amid Halloween necrophilia orgy fears

Jacko vault armed guard amid Halloween necrophilia orgy fears

Los Angeles - (Trick or Treat): Grave concerns may be behind a mystery Skull And Bones Club sperm donor's decision to post a 24-hour armed guard around Michael Jackson's Glendale mausoleum. The anonymous benefactor, a resident at Predator Chapel R...
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Funny story: 'Lost pilots were using laptops' a Mile High Club cover-up?

'Lost pilots were using laptops' a Mile High Club cover-up?

Minneapolis - (High In The Sky): "Had their frickin' faces where at 30,000 feet?" a Gay Mile High frequent flyer commented today amid an official Air Transportation Safety probe. The inquiry is checking claims of poor visibility conditions being...
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Funny story: Colossal Sea Monster Unearthed

Colossal Sea Monster Unearthed

A colossal sea monster, thought to be the biggest ever found, has been discovered on the Dorset coast. The Prescottsor was originally thought to have been found in the North Sea in the Hull area. However, archaeologists now believe that it travelled...
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Funny story: Glimmer of Hope for Obama's Basketball Dilemma

Glimmer of Hope for Obama's Basketball Dilemma

Given the recent anti-woman, demeaning, and altogether beastly evidence of men-only pickup basketball games at the White House, a local woman has written to President Obama, offering him an opportunity to diversify. Dear Mr. President: As a member of the tall fat white woman lobby, I would like to offer to play on your basketball team. I have to warn you that I can't run, I can't dribbl...
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Funny story: Obama lies to troops

Obama lies to troops

Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Florida - President Obama addressed a crowd of GIs about the variety of plans for Afghanistan, none which involve withdrawing as a certain African American candidate had promised over a year ago. He brought smiles a...
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Funny story: Senate to add 'pubic option' to healthcare bill

Senate to add 'pubic option' to healthcare bill

Washington DC -The Majority Leader of the Senate, Hairy D. Weed of Los Vegas, stated to my secret Senate source that his healthcare bill would include the "pubic option." The provision would allow the federal government to legislate the mandatory...
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Funny story: Heather "The Ice Princess" Mills Says She'll Win "Dancing On Ice"

Heather "The Ice Princess" Mills Says She'll Win "Dancing On Ice"

EAST SUSSEX, England - Speaking from her palatial home, Heather Mills, ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney said that she has been practicing eight hours a day in preparation for her participation on the ITV celebrity skating contest Dancing On Ice Th...
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Funny story: Local Man Off Work For A Week With Haemorrhoids

Local Man Off Work For A Week With Haemorrhoids

Gomer Pyle, a local fork lift truck driver was astonished when his doctor informed him that he was suffering from piles, or haemorrhoids, and gave him a sick note for a week, because piles are no laughing matter, as the doctor knew only too well, bei...
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Funny story: Eggs Make Farts Smell Even More Rancid Than Usual

Eggs Make Farts Smell Even More Rancid Than Usual

In a new report commissioned by FIFA (Farting Is For All) eggs have been identified as the principal cause of fart potency. The fart potential of eggs - especially boiled eggs - has been found to affect fart pungency even more than beer, Brussels...
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Funny story: Economists, Sociologists Defend Stray Jet Pilots' Use of Laptops While Flying

Economists, Sociologists Defend Stray Jet Pilots' Use of Laptops While Flying

Sociologists and economists worldwide have come to the defense of pilots whose laptop use in the cockpit caused them to fly 150 miles beyond their destination. Federal safety officials reported Monday that the flight overshot its scheduled landing...
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Funny story: "Baby Einstein" refund sets bad precedent

"Baby Einstein" refund sets bad precedent

The announcement of a refund to all parents who had ever bought an instructional video for their babies that was supposed to make them a genius has some industry leaders worried. Apparently the entertainment giant had offered a video that would al...
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Funny story: Obama Defeats Women at Basketball

Obama Defeats Women at Basketball

To counter his critics who have accused him of having a "testosterone driven" Presidency, President Barack Obama held a basketball game today against his most trusted female cabinet members. Obama beat the females 118 to 2. The female players inc...
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Funny story: Shock: Breathing can keep you alive say scientists

Shock: Breathing can keep you alive say scientists

Scientists at Hackney University say it may now be possible to live forever. Remarkable research, published this week, will show that by inhaling air into the lungs, it may be possible to maintain life. Team leader Dr Margaret Dung, who led th...
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