Funny story: Pilots not on the plane

Pilots not on the plane

The pilots of a commercial passenger jet that overshot its destination by 150 miles have claimed that they were not on the plane. They were having a drink at the airport bar and lost track of time. Air traffic controllers attempted to contact the...
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Funny story: Suck my Pollocks, says UK sweet company

Suck my Pollocks, says UK sweet company

A British confectionery and beverage company has pulled the rug from under its competitor's feet by launching a new boiled sweet to commemorate the life of American lunatic artist and random paint thrower, Jackson Pollock. Pollock, born in Wyoming...
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Funny story: The Colorado Balloon Boys Have Been Signed To Appear In "The Three Stooges - The Early Years"

The Colorado Balloon Boys Have Been Signed To Appear In "The Three Stooges - The Early Years"

HOLLYWOOD - Chula Vista Pictures has just signed the three Heehaw brothers, also known as, The Colorado Balloon Boys to star in a full length motion picture entitled, The Three Stooges - The Early Years. The film's director Winslow Windowfelt said...
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Funny story: Jason Statham gets booked

Jason Statham gets booked

Hollywood hard man Jason Statham will visit his home town of Buckinghamshire to sign copies of his autobiography: "Bucking Tough Guy". Statham, star of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, denies he wrote the book in a bid to make some cash and...
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Funny story: Alive II - The Story of the Andy Survivors

Alive II - The Story of the Andy Survivors

Chicago, Illinois - In a region of the nation known for it's flatness, four brave yuppies dared to challenge Andy Hill, a rough hill that soars up 4,500 feet above sea level, and towers over the prosperous suburb below, on and all around it. These...
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Funny story: Beckhams become bog brush

Beckhams become bog brush

David has spent many years impersonating a footballer and Victoria has spent many years as a nagging wife, a celery stick and professional shop-o-holic. However, due to David Beckham's dilapidating career, and Victoria Beckham's fame obscurity, t...
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Funny story: UK is going gay, but "gay bashers" refuse to give in!

UK is going gay, but "gay bashers" refuse to give in!

Gay policemen, gay politicians, gay catholic priests, gay sportsmen/women, gay shop assistants, gay teachers, gay anybody in fact! The UK is turning into one great gay island, but there is a problem, gay bashers refuse to give in to this latest fa...
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Funny story: Cuba to construct an auto industry in the year 4009

Cuba to construct an auto industry in the year 4009

September 12, 4009 - Cuba today has announced they will be embarking on a plan to build the first auto manufacturing plant in its history. Cuba says their car manufacturing plant will rival that of Japans and they plan on making cars that are tech...
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Funny story: Irish bastion for "Real Hunky Men" collapses and is infiltrated by "Gays"!

Irish bastion for "Real Hunky Men" collapses and is infiltrated by "Gays"!

Another bastion of real, hunky, mega-manhood has been infiltrated, breached and destroyed, that world renowned Irish sporting pastime called hurling. Irish superstar, womens pin-up and ex-impotent Casanova, Donal Og Cusack, has come out from betw...
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Funny story: Ex-Kamikaze Pilot to Consult With Republicans for 2010 and 2012

Ex-Kamikaze Pilot to Consult With Republicans for 2010 and 2012

Colonel Yokado Nakamura, formerly of The Japanese Air Force and an instructor for Kamikaze pilots in World War 2 has been hired by the NRC to consult on the 2010 and 2012 elections. Mr. Nakamura now lives in Santa Clara California and is a floral...
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Funny story: The Pope Will Die This Halloween

The Pope Will Die This Halloween

Rome - (Trick Or Treat): A Maginot Line of Vatican resistance workers is planning a Halloween trick or treat surprise for Pope Joe Ratzinger. Fed up with a compulsory Diet of Worms in the Pontifical works canteen staff are planning on spiking Joe...
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Funny story: Man Utd 'Torre-s-mented' by Spanish Armada and a sinking Rio Grande!

Man Utd 'Torre-s-mented' by Spanish Armada and a sinking Rio Grande!

Torres Torre-s-mented Utd all afternoon and sent a broadside across the bows of Sir Alex's half-Nelson Victory sinking in the Straights of Scouseland, better known as "Washed up at Anfield near The Mersey"! Mancunians were jumping overboard whilst...
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Funny story: President Obama Surprised At The Resignation of Secretary of Sex Stormy Daniels

President Obama Surprised At The Resignation of Secretary of Sex Stormy Daniels

TWIN FALLS, Idaho - President Obama was speaking at a conference of The Idaho Amalgamated Potato Growers Guild when he was informed that the Secretary of the Department of Sex, Stormy Daniels had resigned her position. As soon as the conference en...
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Funny story: Gandhi Returns from Grave, Seen with Elvis and Jacko

Gandhi Returns from Grave, Seen with Elvis and Jacko

Memphis, TN - Furthering conspiracy theories about faked deaths of certain entertainers and world leaders, residents near a popular Burger King in Memphis, Tennessee now report to have seen Mahatma Gandhi eating lunch there. Coupled with other re...
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Funny story: Woman in penis exploding 'blow job' drama

Woman in penis exploding 'blow job' drama

Daniel Smith got more than he bargained for when he persuaded female co worker Connie Suckhimer (pictured right) to give him a blow job. The hapless Daniel had mistakenly assumed Connie was acquainted with the fact that in this context 'blow' does...
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Funny story: Spics reject Mick

Spics reject Mick

Taos, New Mexico - In this sleepy town of 5,000 potheads, new agers, spics, injuns, liberals and ne'er-do-wells, strode in a new Sheriff, this one who bought a run down hotel for 2 million, and thought it was his for having done so. Not so, shriek...
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Funny story: "New Wars Demand New Ways" - Pentagon Whizzes Out New Water Based Armor

"New Wars Demand New Ways" - Pentagon Whizzes Out New Water Based Armor

In super-secrete tests the Pentagon whizz kids have rolled out a new kind of battle armor for a new kind of war. On proving grounds in secret locations on the Isle of Wight, the army boys have unleashed their most potent defense against projecti...
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Funny story: Jimmy Carr almost apologises to Ann Widdecombe. Almost.

Jimmy Carr almost apologises to Ann Widdecombe. Almost.

Comedian Jimmy Carr has apologised to former Conservative MP for Maidstone and the Weald, the fragrant Ann Widdecombe for lewd, distasteful and downright bloody disgusting comments he made on terrifically jolly TV politics quiz show 'Have I Got News...
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Funny story: Sexy Activities Beat Boner Drugs for Erectile Dysfunction

Sexy Activities Beat Boner Drugs for Erectile Dysfunction

INTERCOURSE, PA - Sexologists at the teaching hospital of Bonair University have announced their findings that engaging in sexy activities work just as well toward achieving an erection as taking Viagra or Levitra, and without the unpleasant side-eff...
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Funny story: X-factor judging in total chaos at weekend as judges vote each other off

X-factor judging in total chaos at weekend as judges vote each other off

Well, the world of X-Factor came tumbling down at the weekend where the obsecene amounts of money being made by Simon Cowell and his cohort of judges is plainly going to their heads. In an almost bizarre scene that could have been from Carry On Ta...
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Funny story: 'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

'Roll Tax' Proposal Slammed By Tories

The new manifesto promise by Labour to add a tax of £1 on each toilet roll sold in the UK has been dismissed by David Cameron as, "taxing crap". The controversial measure announced by Gordon Brown earlier in the week was launched as a "flagship ma...
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Funny story: Lisbon Trick Or Treaty? Conspiracy Theorists Blame Maddie McCann-Of-Worms

Lisbon Trick Or Treaty? Conspiracy Theorists Blame Maddie McCann-Of-Worms

London - (Pie-in-the-sky)): Wingnuts lobbying for an immediate release of May 2007 US spy-in-the-sky satellite imagery of the Algarve region claim the Pentagon is deliberately blocking release of vital evidence. One tracking expert told reporters...
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Funny story: Chavs to require separate country by 2050, experts warn.

Chavs to require separate country by 2050, experts warn.

Britain's chavs are reproducing at such an alarming rate in that to prevent a UK population crisis they must eventually be granted their own territory. The dire warning, from researchers based primarily in Essex and South Yorkshire, revealed their fi...
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Funny story: Shake A Leg Glasgow Rangers Tell Sheik Over Club Shake Up

Shake A Leg Glasgow Rangers Tell Sheik Over Club Shake Up

A Saudi sheik who showed an interest in buying Rangers Football Club has been asked to reveal what school he went to. Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, owner of the Abu Dhabi United Group and already in ownership of Manchester City FC, was shock...
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Funny story: Free

Free

Results of a recent survey have corroborated that the word 'free' is a particular favourite among Britons, and is quite popular across the Atlantic, in the land of the free. Free, as a word, was invented by the rock band Free, who sang 'All Right...
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Funny story: Oddly named quarterback's odd affliction keeps team from winning.

Oddly named quarterback's odd affliction keeps team from winning.

Woe be unto the Rams, American football's St. Louis Rams, that is. Seven games played, seven games lost. So bad is the team, it's been outscored by a whopping 151 points, 211 to 60! What the hell is going on? What could be derailing this team's efforts to be competitive? Well, start with one of the organization's prominent players, and look no farther. It's hard enough for any team in the NFL t...
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Funny story: Premiership Focus

Premiership Focus

What a big week in football it has been! Firstly, the FA has today announced it will take the unusual step of suing both teams from the Hull City v Portsmouth game for allegedly "not playing a game football when contracted to do so" a spokesperson for the football association said today. The move could see both clubs lose up to £1 million each - proceeds will go towards gym memberships for the...
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Funny story: Obama releases 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' single

Obama releases 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' single

US President Barack Obama, elected on a promise of taking US troops out of their illegal occupation of Iraq, today released his version of John Lenin's 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over) to try and boost his feeble Presidency, and these are the lyrics: 'So this is Christmas And what have I done? Another year over A new one begun And so this is Christmas I hope you have fun Me and Dick Cheney Th...
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Funny story: Old Adage Rings True

Old Adage Rings True

Foetid Crotch-Rotter of the Monthly Cycle's Business Pages reports: My old Estonian Grandfather once told me the greatest misnomer in life was Military Intelligence. Well, I can only imagine that the UK regulator everyone loves to despise, the FSA is following this adage to the letter. They recently married their "much-feared" Enforcement section to their toothless Financial Crime and "In...
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Funny story: Miss Frank voted out of X Factor

Miss Frank voted out of X Factor

Girl group Miss Frank have become the latest act to be booted off ITV1 talentless show The X Factor. The London trio found themselves in the sing-off against hotly-tipped solo artist Danyl I love myself as well as men Johnson after receiving only...
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Funny story: Commuter rant worker gets promoted

Commuter rant worker gets promoted

An underground railway worker who was seen yelling at an elderly passenger in a video has been promoted to head of customer service. A spokesman said Ian Outthecreases, a customer service assistant, was promoted for his skills on a small incident...
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Funny story: Lloyd Webber treated for being ugly

Lloyd Webber treated for being ugly

Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, 61, has been diagnosed with being ugly, it has been disclosed. His spokesman said in a statement that the condition was currently in its very ugly stages. "Andrew is now undergoing a facelift and expects a young g...
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Funny story: Umpires to be replaced by robots

Umpires to be replaced by robots

NEW YORK NY - Baseball fans are turning purple after reading a new scientific survey that shows that the recent playoffs were determined not by the skill of the players, but by the lack of skill of the umpires, according to my source, an ex commissio...
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Funny story: UN sends peace keepers to Fox studio

UN sends peace keepers to Fox studio

GENEVA - Secret UN leaders, according to my Swiss confidential source, have dispatched UN peace keeping forces to Fox studios to intercede between US forces and Fox studio security involved in a tense standoff. Currently US forces are in control o...
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Funny story: The Drowning Pool: Madoff ponzi scam billionaire Jeffry Picower dead

The Drowning Pool: Madoff ponzi scam billionaire Jeffry Picower dead

Florida - (Rotters): So far there have been no reports of any rampant nymphomaniacs or Paul Newman-lookalike private investigators at risk from some dodgy water-filled hydrotherapy room. But police probing billionaire philanthropissed Jeffry Picow...
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Funny story: Sherrif Joe sends posse to White House

Sherrif Joe sends posse to White House

PHOENIX AZ - In response to Federal efforts to restrain Sherrif Joe, Joe is sending his posse to the White House to check for illegal aliens. According to my source, Joe, the posse is looking for forged birth certificates. "I don't care what peop...
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Funny story: X-Factor: Danyl Stays, Miss Frank Goes, Cheryl Shows 'Em

X-Factor: Danyl Stays, Miss Frank Goes, Cheryl Shows 'Em

LONDON - There were all kinds of surprises on the latest edition of X-Factor. Danyl Johnson the odds-on-favorite found himself in the bottom two and did a Brett Favre - Glenn Beck tear-shedding display. The trio of Miss Frank also found themsel...
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Funny story: Macy Gray To Star In The Life of Condoleezza Rice

Macy Gray To Star In The Life of Condoleezza Rice

LOS ANGELES - A representative for Universal Pictures has just informed the entertainment media that the first female victim of this year's Dancing With The Stars reality show Macy Gray has just signed to portray former secretary of state Condoleezz...
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Funny story: Emergency declared: swine flu deaths too low

Emergency declared: swine flu deaths too low

WASHINGTON DC - Emergency declared. Swine flu is not killing as much as hoped, according to my confidential source at the GAO, General Accounting Office. The millions of dollars spent sequencing the virus from the recovered 1918 samples will not be...
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Funny story: TV Sports Analyst Bob Griese Apologizes For His "Taco" Comment

TV Sports Analyst Bob Griese Apologizes For His "Taco" Comment

KALAMAZOO, Michigan - College Football Sports Analyst Bob Griese did the old open-mouth-insert-foot routine while he was doing the play-by-play announcing of an NCAA college football game between Great Lakes of Michigan College and Solid State Univer...
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Funny story: Hull City Manager Phil Brown To Face FA Ban For Talking Shite

Hull City Manager Phil Brown To Face FA Ban For Talking Shite

It's not been easy for Hull City manager Phil Brown, and things got even harder for him today after the Football Association announced it has started an investigation into Brown's after-match interviews in which he regularly talks shite. Brown, wh...
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Funny story: Hull Man Rescued After Becoming Disoriented In Bang Yai Tesco

Hull Man Rescued After Becoming Disoriented In Bang Yai Tesco

There was drama 'in store' for shoppers at a large supermarket chain in Thailand on Thursday, when a Hull man became lost in amongst the superstore's vast number of aisles, and had to be rescued by a search party. Monkey Woods, originally from Hul...
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Funny story: Nick Griffin And David Duke Order Curry In Brick Lane Bangladeshi Restaurant

Nick Griffin And David Duke Order Curry In Brick Lane Bangladeshi Restaurant

BNP leader Nick Griffin, and Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke were spotted by gossip columnist, Angastura Bitters, entering A Bangladeshi restaurant in Brick Lane, East London, and having a curry together. Madame Bitters told me: "I couldn'...
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Funny story: Timeless headlines revealed

Timeless headlines revealed

Capitol City, North American Confederacy - CrossTime travellers to the region known some times as the United States at any time between the 1950s and 2050s are given the same briefing as to what headlines they can expect to see. In the Internation...
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Funny story: Sewage plant in 'free money' giveaway

Sewage plant in 'free money' giveaway

SEWAGE company WaterWaste has joined forces with The Bun to giveaway FREE money. The establishment which celebrates its centenary this year will award the funds to the first 200 readers who write in. "This is no gimmick" insisted CEO Harvey Bob...
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Funny story: Boobs to March Against Bare Boobs in Washington DC

Boobs to March Against Bare Boobs in Washington DC

Washington DC: The Anti Boobs Coalition (ABC) plans a million women march in the nation's capital, to protest against women going bare breasted. ABC has "its tits in a wringer" over those recently formed topless women's advocacy groups that claim...
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Funny story: Spiders with Massive Webs Start New Business

Spiders with Massive Webs Start New Business

Scientists had no sooner discovered a special type of spider that spins HUGE webs than these spiders decided to open a global business, "Snare The Bad Guys." What this unique spider service does is to grab up offending people and/or products, s...
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Funny story: Pats Open Can Of Whup-Ass On Sorry Bucs But Tom Brady Flees London In Fear

Pats Open Can Of Whup-Ass On Sorry Bucs But Tom Brady Flees London In Fear

Pats QB Tom Brady, who earlier led his team to a standout victory over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers by a 35-7 margin tonight fled London after apparent security threats compromised his personal safety. Brady was rushed directly from Wembley Stadium to...
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