Funny story: Cats And Foxes

Cats And Foxes

Dear Sir I would just like to point out that cats and foxes do not get along. In fact they have been known to fight each other quite fiercely. I once had a kitten called Rufer. He was a lovely little cat. When he was big enough to go out on his own he was attacked by a fox. He only just survived. So I let him go out again and the bastard fox ripped him to shreds. So, cats and foxes are not f...
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Funny story: Daniel Vettori Voted Greatest New Zealand Spectacles Wearer Of All Time

Daniel Vettori Voted Greatest New Zealand Spectacles Wearer Of All Time

Daniel Vettori the New Zealand Test cricketer has been voted his country's greatest spectacles wearer of all time. The prestigious award was based on the votes of the New Zealand population. Vettori polled over 20 human votes and over 30 000 sheep al...
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Funny story: Obama Voters Masturbated A Lot

Obama Voters Masturbated A Lot

Scientists have discovered that those who voted for Obama rather than McCain masturbated far more than other voters. They had greater levels of testosterone, behaved aggressively, had increased sex drives and liked to crack one off every ten minutes.
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Funny story: America Legalises Presidential Euthanasia

America Legalises Presidential Euthanasia

In a surprising development, the Southern States of the United States of America (USA) have decided that the President and the First Family may receive euthanasia at public expense! For President Barracks Obama's popularity is on the decline. M...
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Funny story: Police:Dad ran over "Iraqi-ized" daughter

Police:Dad ran over "Iraqi-ized" daughter

Peyoriah, Iraq - Police in a Baghdad suburb are looking for a man suspected of running down his daughter because she was becoming too "Iraqi-ized" and was not living according to their traditional American values. Police say 48-year-old Phil Holli...
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Funny story: Obama Sends Troops, Tanks To Surround Fox Headquarters

Obama Sends Troops, Tanks To Surround Fox Headquarters

New York, NY-- El Presidente Obama is taking quick steps to isolate and punish the terrorists at the Fox News Command Center in downtown Manhattan. Dear Leader has sent the 82nd Airborne Division, including 50,000 troops and 10,000 tanks to punish t...
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Funny story: When Times are Tough - 'win' the Texas Lottery

When Times are Tough - 'win' the Texas Lottery

When times are hard don't go to the movies or eat-out. Instead, hang out near building exhaust vents, stay late at the library, frequent swimming baths, seek out rich girl-friends, live in a mild climate, rent a banger ... the list is endless.
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Funny story: Tiny Dinosaur Species Identified

Tiny Dinosaur Species Identified

A new species of dinosaur has been identified, 30 years after its fossils were placed in a museum. Tradeuniens strikeorum, researchers say, is one of the most insignificant dinosaurs known to science. The fossils had been housed at the Scargill Mu...
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Funny story: Man gives $4 million lotto ticket to minimal wage clerk

Man gives $4 million lotto ticket to minimal wage clerk

Gullible Gulch, Texas - In a move not matched in the history of gullibility since fresh off the boat Sven Svenderson bought the Brooklyn Bridge in 1922, a 67 year old man has lost his ticket to a convenient store clerk. The real winner, apparently...
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Funny story: Family Guy's Peter Griffin outed as long lost brother of BNP leader Nick Griffin

Family Guy's Peter Griffin outed as long lost brother of BNP leader Nick Griffin

In stark contrast to the racist, anti-Semitic, holocaust denying witterings that normally are to be heard spouting from the mouth of the leader of the British Nazi Party, tonight's audience of BBC's Question Time bore witness to an amazing revelation...
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Funny story: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Sign A Unique Pre-Nup Agreement

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Sign A Unique Pre-Nup Agreement

BEL AIR, California - Newlyweds Khloe Kardashian, the socialite, and Lamar Odom, the basketball player have just announced that they have one of the most unusual pre-nuptial agreements in history. The 25-year-old Khloe who probably is noted more f...
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Funny story: All for one

All for one

Labour MP Andy Slaughter, whose constituency includes Television Centre, was outside the BBC to lend his support to the protesters against the BNP. He said: "I think it is just irresponsible. Cutting through the dinner party conversation about fre...
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Funny story: Savvy Pat Riley Trademarks Phrase "Balloon Boy"

Savvy Pat Riley Trademarks Phrase "Balloon Boy"

ORLANDO, FL - Former NBA coach and current Miami Heat president Pat Riley has trademarked the phrase, "Balloon Boy." Riley, who is famous for having trademarked other phrases, such as "Three-peat," "Oh, no you di-int!," "Up yours!" and "Get off...
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Funny story: Merger creates new Church of America

Merger creates new Church of America

Salt Lake City, Utah - In an unprecedented merger, expected to have massive ramifications for spirituality in America, several major off-brand sects of Christianity have all joined together into one monolithic faith. At a summit held by the Church...
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Funny story: Nick Griffin? He's Ratzinger's son says cops

Nick Griffin? He's Ratzinger's son says cops

London - (Sieg Heil): BNP leader Nick Griffin has been outed as the son of Pope Jos Ratzinger and Mrs Thatcher. Anti-terror cops have had the rabid fascist under surveillance ever since he sprang out his mother's putrid vagina some fifty years ago...
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Funny story: FSA Try to recapture bolting horse

FSA Try to recapture bolting horse

In a move that has astonished nobody, the wastes of skin at the FSA have announced that they intend to get "tough" on Mortgage Brokers and the Mortgage Industry, who they claim have been exploiting consumers for "a very long time". As families acr...
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Funny story: Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith has brush with death

Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith has brush with death

Los Angeles, California - Yesterday, 81 year old Hannibal Smith, leader of the notorious A-Team, had yet another brush with death. For the seventh time in as many weeks, the Grim Reaper came to collect this fugitive of over three decades. This ti...
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Funny story: Serial Do-Gooder taunts police

Serial Do-Gooder taunts police

Omaha, Nebraska - A serial do-gooder has been hunting the students and faculty of Creighton University, and for some time been taunting the police, it was admitted today. In a hastily called press conference, Chief Andrew Wiles confirmed what the...
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Funny story: Queen gives her backing to AC/DC singer's Boyzone decision

Queen gives her backing to AC/DC singer's Boyzone decision

Her Majesty the Queen has stamped her seal of approval on AC/DC singer, Brian Johnson's decision to join forces with depleted boyband 'Boyzone'. Buckingham Palace today held a press conference, at which members of the UK media were told to 'shut...
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Funny story: Man Arrested For being Naked In Own Kitchen

Man Arrested For being Naked In Own Kitchen

A man is facing prosecution for being spotted naked in his own kitchen. Dwayne Scrotum of Houston, Texas, is facing charges of indecent exposure following complaints from a passing mother and her young daughter. Scrotum said "Hey, man, my housema...
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Funny story: BNP Picketed By Anti-BBC Protesters

BNP Picketed By Anti-BBC Protesters

The British National Party headquarters has been picketed by anti-BBC protesters. Angry scenes have taken place as a result of party leader Nick Griffin agreeing to appear on a BBC television program. The BBC is a controversial organisation, accused...
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Funny story: How NOT to look good naked!

How NOT to look good naked!

After watching a TV programme; GOK: How to Look Good Naked, a Springfield, Virginia, man has been arrested. He was seen by a woman, making coffee in his own kitchen in the nude. The incident happened at around 5:30 a.m. on Monday morning and if foun...
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Funny story: Travel Guide: Liverpool

Travel Guide: Liverpool

There can be fewer more beautiful cities than the jewel on the Mersey that is Liverpool. Once home to the Beatles, this lively metropolitan city sees regular visitors from all over the world who visit Penny Lane, Strawberry Fields and search in vain for Abbey Road (which is in London). The Cavern is a Mecca for these travel weary Beatles fans, though the original club has long since become a tr...
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Funny story: Breaking News: Republicans to hold 2012 Convention In Phone Booth

Breaking News: Republicans to hold 2012 Convention In Phone Booth

A source inside the Republican National Committee has confirmed that the RNC is planning to hold the 2012 convention in a telephone booth. With the steep decline in the number of Americans who now declare themselves Republicans, the RNC has been face...
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Funny story: Female Sex Addiction therapy - a solution in search of a problem

Female Sex Addiction therapy - a solution in search of a problem

Peoria, Illinois - At the Addiction Recovery Institute of Illinois, (A feminazi think tank) they have treatment regimens for all manner of addictions. One such has particularly raised eyebrows, though. And that's the treatment for Female Sex Addict...
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Funny story: Anger and the 'bad' number

Anger and the 'bad' number

Why am I angry? If you ask yourself this question, have a think - could you have recently been exposed to the 'bad' number? Remember when Sudoku was all the rage a few years back? Notice now how it's all not the rage? In 2005 a government research team found that people who played excessive Sudoku on their morning train commute were subjected to prolonged exposure to the 'bad' number;...
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Funny story: Far-Right Leader Banned From BBC's Question Time in 1940

Far-Right Leader Banned From BBC's Question Time in 1940

There was controversy yesterday when the BBC announced that its September 1940 edition of Question Time would not include Adolf Hitler, the Leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party and Leader of the Third Reich. "We don't believe that...
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Funny story: Windows 7 Launch Produces Problems within Hours

Windows 7 Launch Produces Problems within Hours

Computer giant, Microsoft, have finally launched their new operating system, Windows 7. The much anticipated software was launched at PC World in London at midnight today. Geeks from all parts of the city queued for up to five hours to get their...
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Funny story: 'Postman Pat and the 1980s Time Warp'

'Postman Pat and the 1980s Time Warp'

Pat sat drinking tea with his cat Jess on his lap in Mrs. Miggins' living room. He was taking his usual thirteenth break of the morning as, of course, part of his job as a postman was to chat with all the people in Glendale. 'Well, Pat', Mrs. Miggins said, passing him another slice of carrot cake, 'I expect you'll be wanting to get back on your rounds soon'. 'I suppose so', he replied, yawning...
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Funny story: Skoob Goes 'in depth' With Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleaders: Erin Andrews Looks On!

Skoob Goes 'in depth' With Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleaders: Erin Andrews Looks On!

While ESPN's crack locker room reporter Erin Andrews was engaged in intimate and revealing up close and personal portraits of the Tampa Bay Bucs' players prior to this Sunday's matchup at Wembley Stadium with the New England Patriots, her co-host, S...
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Funny story: Reverse polarity to have adverse effects on human behaviour

Reverse polarity to have adverse effects on human behaviour

Forecasters who have been predicting a complete reversal of the Earth polarity have come up with startling new claims. Scientists at the Centre for Research And Prediction, better known as C.R.A.P. have recently discovered that a 180 degree flip i...
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Funny story: Pope's 5 Year No-Divorce Guarantee for Catholic Weddings

Pope's 5 Year No-Divorce Guarantee for Catholic Weddings

The Pope shocked the world's religious organisations, when he announced, yesterday, that he was offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches. This desperate move comes as figures are published to suggest th...
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Funny story: Former Punker evaluates Goths

Former Punker evaluates Goths

Rapid City, South Dakota - A grumpy old man, who back in the day (1965) was a Punker, has finished his study of Goths, after having learned that his grandson was one. Here are his findings. Goths are a bunch of spoiled, over-indulged pretentious...
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Funny story: Man catches bank in fraud

Man catches bank in fraud

Hartford, Conn. - A man walked into the bank yesterday, and said that he had some money that he wanted to have kept safe, and how much would they charge him to guard it for him. He was quite surprised when he was told that they would pay him, and...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown 'To Wear Paper Bag On Head' - Labour Spokesperson

Gordon Brown 'To Wear Paper Bag On Head' - Labour Spokesperson

Following private polling by the Labour Party, it has been announced that the Prime Minister will be wearing a brown paper bag with two eyeholes over his head. "We've realised that every time people saw Gordon Brown on the television that we lost...
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Funny story: It's Star Trek, Jim, But Not As We Know It

It's Star Trek, Jim, But Not As We Know It

William Shatner thinks that he should be in Start Trek 2. I'm sorry, but Star Trek 2?! How many films have there been? Rather more than 2. And his character has been killed off. So what on earth (or not) is going on? Have the Klingons decided to send a boarding party and only James T Kirk can save us? "Beam me up Scotty", except he can't as he's already been beamed up himself. William Shatner?...
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Funny story: Copycat plunge as British nuclear expert in 120ft mystery death fall?

Copycat plunge as British nuclear expert in 120ft mystery death fall?

Vienna - (Fallout): "Absolutely no suspicious circumstances" was how one UN spokesman described the death of yet another UK official from the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty Organization. The mysterious plunge took place during tense discuss...
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Funny story: Skinny smokers are laughing at you fatties

Skinny smokers are laughing at you fatties

Every City, U.S.A. - Up until the eighties it was the glory days for smokers. Ash trays on every desk, ash trays outside of elevators, doctors walking through hospitals smoking, planes, trains, buses...it was a thing of beauty. However, nothing t...
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Funny story: 'Jenson and Black Bernie's Treasure', by Herge

'Jenson and Black Bernie's Treasure', by Herge

As Captain Pitstop started his eighth Irish whiskey of the day in the Mansell Monkey bar in downtown Kuala Lumpur, his friend Jenson walked in with his dog Kimi. 'Ah, Cap'n', he said, 'come quick. There's trouble afoot!', and the Captain sighed. 'When I've finished thish drink', he said, but Jenson insisted. 'It's Black Bernie Ecclescake and his evil men, they've taken over the island of Grand...
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Funny story: First Earth Battalion's General Albert Stubblebine 'recruited NASA spy Nozette'

First Earth Battalion's General Albert Stubblebine 'recruited NASA spy Nozette'

NASA HQ, Groom Lake, Nevada - (Dark Side of the Moonies): Monday's arrest of top NASA 'remote viewer'/psychic spy Stewart Nozette has rattled the ectoplasm out of his paranoid, precient ass. And now Ronnie Raygun's head of Roswell retro-engineerin...
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Funny story: Fat Family Children Taken Into Care

Fat Family Children Taken Into Care

All 7 children from a family have been taken into care amid fears that the parents might eat them. The children, including a newborn child, are to sent to different foster homes throughout Britain in a bid to give them a chance to have a decent life.
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Funny story: BNP Leader Withdraws from Question Time Appearance

BNP Leader Withdraws from Question Time Appearance

British National Party Leader Nick Griffin has sensationally withdrawn from his scheduled appearance on Question Time this evening, it has been announced. A spokesman for the BNP explained that Mr Griffin was 'unwell' and would therefore not be in...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Hears Anal Arguments in Cross Case

Supreme Court Hears Anal Arguments in Cross Case

Washington,D.C.-On an unusually warm October Monday, dust motes floated in the rays of the sun which were streaming through the windows of the Courtroom. A fan whined lazily in the background while spectators yawned and fidgeted during what seemed li...
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Funny story: Car Park Giant to buy the M6

Car Park Giant to buy the M6

In a bold move, the UK car-parking giant, Terrific Car Parks (TCP) have made an audacious bid to buy the M6 off the Highways Agency. Whilst they plan to keep most of the main arterial motorway exactly the same, motorists can expect some changes to...
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Funny story: Dean Koontz book writing instructions found!

Dean Koontz book writing instructions found!

Newport Beach, California - A small child who lives next door to one of America's most prolific thriller writers, made a startling discovery when he went to Koontz's backyard to retrieve his ball. He found what he thought was a "Mad Lib", but what...
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Funny story: Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter Heading For Splitsville

Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter Heading For Splitsville

NYACK, New York - Rosie O'Donnell and her wife of five and a half years Kelli Carpenter's marital cruise ship may be heading for some choppy waters. From all appearances it looks like their 'Love Boat' may have hit an iceberg and is taking on wat...
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Funny story: Man arrested for sex with horse - blames the horse!

Man arrested for sex with horse - blames the horse!

Colombia, Tenneesse - A man who police say was caught on tape having sex with a horse and later arrested told them in an interview that the horse came on to HIM first. "She gave me this look and I knew she wanted it. We were meant to be. She to...
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Funny story: Nerd yearns for the dead to rise up

Nerd yearns for the dead to rise up

Evans City, Pennsylvania - Stan Hebeman, 42, is a self-described expert on what he calls "Dead" films, and secretly has been yearning for a zombie uprising for years. Stan knows, and can intelligently comment on, all five of George Romero's "livin...
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Funny story: World's housewives condemn Nobel Committee

World's housewives condemn Nobel Committee

Igloo #23, Scandahoovia - The Nobel Awards Make Better Living for All (NAMBLA) is reeling under criticism, but this time not for Obama. "Herta who?", is the cry that is resounding from all over the world, as housewives, homosexuals and nancy boy...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle eats Mr Big on Sex and the City

Susan Boyle eats Mr Big on Sex and the City

Toronto, ON - Miss Susan Boyle - the Scottish virgin songbird from Britain's Got Talent - ate Mr Big while watching Sex and the City on her TV. She later developed a severe tummy ache after eating the enormous size candy bar and called 911 to be tak...
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Funny story: The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Four)

The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Four)

The streets of Bordello Falls Chapter Four Sally deals in Death Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three The tumbleweeds blew aimlessly across the end less line of railroad tracks, the sun setting in the west, directly in the eyes of the stranger. Setting side saddle on a hybrid Missouri Mule which stood at least 15 hands high, the dark stranger plodded on immune to the dust, the sun,...
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Funny story: The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Three)

The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Three)

The streets of Bordello Falls Chapter Three Welcome To Bordello Falls - Home of the All-You-Can-Eat Tortilla Soup Buffet Chapter one | Chapter two The twin hombres Buck and Diablo Poontang Pissgums were as happy as a couple of woodpeckers in a lumber yard to finally arrive at Bordello Falls. For the past three miles all Diablo Poontang had heard was brother Buck saying how much he was s...
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Funny story: Obama appoints a Porno Czar

Obama appoints a Porno Czar

President Obama announced today his appointment of an Porno Czar. Many American industries are experiencing an economic depression, and the porn industry is no exception. Recently, it has fallen on hard times and has become dysfunctional. Obama feels...
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