Funny story: X Factor Judges talk Shit - it's official!

X Factor Judges talk Shit - it's official!

Chronic Masturbators around the UK are in uproar today, after Cheryl Cole and Daniiiiii Minogue accused flibberty-gibbets and strumpets "Kandy Rain" of being too shameless, slutty and getting their minges out on Saturday's X factor. The idiot-chil...
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Funny story: Human food best food for your dog and cat

Human food best food for your dog and cat

Denver, CO - According to my source, Mary Anibalcay, edible human food can be very good for your pet. Fa get about store-bought food, and just think "food" -- think human food . Tons of pet owners fear feeding felines, for example, anything but pe...
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Funny story: Bonkettes Blow Sydney With The Full Inch

Bonkettes Blow Sydney With The Full Inch

Wow! They did it again! Earlier this evening the sexiest girl band on the planet, the Bonkettes, rocked the socks off Sydney with a mind-blowing show at the legendary Sydney Opera House. Some critics wondered if the girls could possibly recover fr...
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Funny story: The KKK Is Now Accepting Black Members

The KKK Is Now Accepting Black Members

WHITE POWDER, Mississippi - The Ku Klux Klan's exalted Grand Wizard Dragon Nathan Bedford Bamboodle, 51, (Mississippi chapter) has told the biased media that the national KKK organization is in deep deer do-do due to the economic crisis. Bamboodle...
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Funny story: Gorillas Stage Rooftop Protest At Palace Of Westminster

Gorillas Stage Rooftop Protest At Palace Of Westminster

An estimated 47 Rwandan lowland silverback gorillas today stormed the Palace of Westminster to protest against climate change. The gorillas reached the roof and got up to lots of gorilla malarkey, such as throwing down turds on watching policemen...
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Funny story: Pope canonizes Obama - calls him a real saint

Pope canonizes Obama - calls him a real saint

THE VATICAN - Pope Benedict added 5 new saints to the Catholic Saints roster on Sunday then before he rested he added one more name to the list - that of US President Barack Obama. The Pope said he got the idea to include Obama's name after canoni...
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Funny story: Mrs. Dorothy Smith of Torbay awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Mrs. Dorothy Smith of Torbay awarded Nobel Peace Prize

In a surprise move today, the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Mrs. Dorothy Smith of Torbay, Devon, England. Speaking from the garden in front of the white-stoned hotel she runs with her husband Alfred, Mrs. Smith graciously thanked the judge...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Patents Golf Club

Donald Trump Patents Golf Club

Think Big and Kick Ass self-made multi-billionaire Donald Trump has successfully patented the golf club. On hearing the news Donald Trump immediately assigned the patent rights to DT Golfing Enterprises, located in South Ossetia, a region now us...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh To Marry Chelsea Clinton

Rush Limbaugh To Marry Chelsea Clinton

Vero Beach, FL-- Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh announced his surprise engagement to Chelsea Clinton on his radio program today. It will be the ninth marriage for Mr. Limbaugh, 58, and the first for Ms. Clinton, 29. The pair met brie...
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Funny story: EU Official Confused by Democracy

EU Official Confused by Democracy

A new exhibition opened yesterday at the European Commission in Brussels charting the progress of democracy on the continent since the year 1900. "Essentially it charts the way in which national and international institutions have become more acco...
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Funny story: As A Result of Obama's Peace Prize, California Has Suddenly 'Gone Sweden'

As A Result of Obama's Peace Prize, California Has Suddenly 'Gone Sweden'

Sacramento, CA - In a new development that has environmentalists, sociologists and linguists puzzled the world over, California has suddenly 'gone Sweden' as water turns to aquavit, people have become more pacifist and Governor Schwarzenegger's accen...
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Funny story: Tony Romo Blames Jessica Simpson's Breasts for Poor Performance, Fumbling Snaps, and 'Incompletions!"

Tony Romo Blames Jessica Simpson's Breasts for Poor Performance, Fumbling Snaps, and 'Incompletions!"

Dallas,TX/ Broke Back Mountain Quarterback News - The Cowboy's 'aw shucks' quarterback, Tony Romo, with T.O. gone, and Jessica Simpson abandoned in a PETA shelter the day before her 29th birthday, is still blaming his former bad luck charm for less t...
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Funny story: The Fonz Arrested For Stealing

The Fonz Arrested For Stealing

Arthur Fonzarelli (a.k.a. the Fonz, a.k.a. Fonzie) was arrested for theft in Minnesota's Mall of America. 72 year old Mr. Fonzarelle was witnessed by a security guard to approach a vending machine, hit the side, and get a free drink. The Fonz has b...
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Funny story: Governor Schwarzenegger Develops Swedish Accent Overnight - Obama's Peace Prize Is Blamed

Governor Schwarzenegger Develops Swedish Accent Overnight - Obama's Peace Prize Is Blamed

In probably the most alarming manifestation that California has 'Gone Sweden', Governor Schwarzenegger has developed a Swedish accent. According to his wife, Maria Shriver, his accent changed from Austrian to Swedish overnight. The phenomenon...
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Funny story: Jackson Doctor Confesses To Murder

Jackson Doctor Confesses To Murder

Long time doctor and personal friend of pop idol Michael Jackson has confessed to murder this morning. Nose specialist and cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Cho Hmung, has confessed to killing Jackson's nose. "I could no longer hold it back. Achoo! Bless me.
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Funny story: Retinal Tears "Perfectly Natural"- Brown Aide Says

Retinal Tears "Perfectly Natural"- Brown Aide Says

The condition of Gordon Brown's one working eye was "no cause for concern" a No.10 spokesperson said today. "It's perfectly natural for a person in a leadership position to shed a few tears now and again. Margaret Thatcher did it, Tony Blair did...
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Funny story: UK Obssessed By Faeces And Ablutions

UK Obssessed By Faeces And Ablutions

Researchers at the University Of Chicago (South Side) have recently unveiled the results of years of research into the 'unique' British sense of humour. Professor Egon Offagin announced the results to a packed house of TV and Movie scriptwriters a...
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Funny story: Moon People Celebrate Death of Wicked Witch

Moon People Celebrate Death of Wicked Witch

Lunar Base One-The people of the Moon are celebrating the unexpected death of a evil citizen whom some described as a "wicked witch". A Volkswagen-sized piece of machinery fell from the sky and crushed her as she was tormenting her diminutive fellow...
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Funny story: European Union to Ground Witches

European Union to Ground Witches

In its wisdom, the European Union have written some legislation which is forcing witches to file a flight plan before September 30th - a whole month before their favourite night, so that they can know where each and every individual crone will be any...
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Funny story: Gordon Denies claiming £50,000 Panda on expenses

Gordon Denies claiming £50,000 Panda on expenses

Gordon Brown has denied buying a Chinese Panda bear for £50,000 and then claiming it back on expenses. He said he didn't even mean to buy the panda. He says he only wanted to sponsor a penguin at Edinburgh zoo but, due to his failing eye site he got the two mixed up. "Its very easily done" said his spokesperson. "They are both the same colour and they hang out in the same places" "Really...
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Funny story: The British Connection - Mafia Ring Probed

The British Connection - Mafia Ring Probed

After a morning of dramatic dawn raids across the UK, Scotland Yard's top detective, Mycroft Holmes confirmed that the mafia had taken root in the UK. Reputed mafia kingpin, Don Il Jaggedoni, formerly of south east London, was taken away in a poli...
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Funny story: Never, ever upset Liverpool Football Club, Michael Owen!

Never, ever upset Liverpool Football Club, Michael Owen!

Earlier this week Micheal Owen, the former Liverpool player in praising Sir Alex Ferguson, added life at Old Trafford was "everything you would expect of a top team, probably the biggest club in the world". Straight away, Michael Owen has put his...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Says She Received An Email From Roman Polanski

Miley Cyrus Says She Received An Email From Roman Polanski

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has confessed to one of her best friends Tiffany Tiffacaloochi that she has received an email from Roman Polanski. The Tiffster, as her high school PE teacher calls her, asked Miley who the heck Roman Polanski is. Mil...
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Funny story: Cheney, Inspired By Successful 'Iron Man' Movie, Creates His Own Super Hero

Cheney, Inspired By Successful 'Iron Man' Movie, Creates His Own Super Hero

Inspired by the success and the popularity of Marvel Comics 'Iron Man' movie series, Dick Cheney has decided to use the millions he gathered during his tenure as the head of Halliburton and as the shadow head of the United States of America to reinve...
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Funny story: Obama "Wurst President Ever" - Glenn Beck Momentarily Ecstatic

Obama "Wurst President Ever" - Glenn Beck Momentarily Ecstatic

There was no room for doubt at the annual meeting of the Premium Sausage Makers Association of America held this year in Madison, Wisconsin. "Sales of our products to the White House have increased 400% since January 20", one DC-based delegate said.
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Funny story: Nine Lies in Gore's ' An Inconvenient Truth' Go Unanswered as 500 Journalists Freeze Their Arse Off During Global Warming Conference in Madison, WI!

Nine Lies in Gore's ' An Inconvenient Truth' Go Unanswered as 500 Journalists Freeze Their Arse Off During Global Warming Conference in Madison, WI!

Madison, WI/ Special from the Weather Channel/ Disaster Update w/Jim Cantori - On what was supposed to be just another balmy October day in picturesque Madison, Wisconsin, 500 environmental Journalists huddled together as temperatures plunged to 25 d...
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Funny story: 2012, Lack Of Passing Obama Health Care Bill, Not End Of The World, Says Mayan

2012, Lack Of Passing Obama Health Care Bill, Not End Of The World, Says Mayan

Apolinario Chili Predixion says that he is tired of being bombarded with wild frantic questions about the Mayan calendar supposedly "running out" on Dec. 21, 2012, and President Obam's health care bill not being passed. After all, it's not the end o...
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Funny story: Wisconsin Kid Mugged For Wearing Brett Favre Viking Costume On Halloween.

Wisconsin Kid Mugged For Wearing Brett Favre Viking Costume On Halloween.

Gregory Tearny of Oconomowoc, Wisconsin encountered towering difficulties going trick or treating Halloween night when his mother made the lame-brained decision of buying him a Brett Favre Viking costume. Unfortunately, the proud, Packer backing neig...
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Funny story: Space clown is kicked into orbit by fellow astronauts fed up with his "clowning around space antics"

Space clown is kicked into orbit by fellow astronauts fed up with his "clowning around space antics"

Multi- Billionaire Space clown Guy Laliberte has been booted out into orbit after fellow astronauts got sick to death of his "Orbital clowning around" in the space station ISS! Guy paid ca. $50 million for the pleasure of galactic entertaining his...
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Funny story: Obama Bends Over, Reaches Out To The Gay Community

Obama Bends Over, Reaches Out To The Gay Community

Recent conservative attacks on some of President Obama's gay nominees could temper the impatience the gay and lesbian leaders and activists showed as he spoke to a major gay civil rights group Saturday night, but the widespread restlessness still is...
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Funny story: Letterman loses voice

Letterman loses voice

David Letterman has partially lost his voice. When asked about this he said: "fsdddddddddd fj dj dj wk foie ewo q fe fpepq rweo ewor rweu reer ere reihadsexwithmystaffsad safffdouisffduiof duiofiousduoif uiosdfandithinkilikeditds fudsfsidfsudsio...
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Funny story: Obama 'Not A Shagger' - Official

Obama 'Not A Shagger' - Official

Barack Obama is 'Not a Shagger', according to the Association of Presidential Stereotypes, said an official today. "We divide Republicans into two categories, Crooks or Buffoons and the Democrats into Shaggers or Nice Guys. Obama is now only the s...
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Funny story: Distraction in Dnipropetrovsk: Erin Andrews Forgets to Turn Off Helmet Cam During Locker Room Shower Interviews!

Distraction in Dnipropetrovsk: Erin Andrews Forgets to Turn Off Helmet Cam During Locker Room Shower Interviews!

Dnipropetrousk/Ukraine - US soccer fans got more than they bargained for last night as striking Peep Hole Princess, Erin Andrews, new ESPN late night soccer co anchor, forgot to turn her helmet cam off following England's shocking 1-0 loss on a bloo...
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Funny story: Lord Ron Paul in £38,000 expenses swindle

Lord Ron Paul in £38,000 expenses swindle

London - (Cash-for-Plonkers): Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's top House of Lords cheerleader Lord 'Ron' Paul is being probed about a £38,000 expenses scam. Paul, 69, claimed the money for maintaining a bijou Westmonster apartment in a plush portered...
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Funny story: Napoli's Pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, wins "Nobelli Pizza Prize" on a Norwegian oil rig and pukes!

Napoli's Pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, wins "Nobelli Pizza Prize" on a Norwegian oil rig and pukes!

Napoli's most famous pizza baker, Bollacka O-Mama, has just won the world's most coveted and very prestigious "Nobelli Pizza Prize" on a Norwegian oil Rig middle in the North Sea! The prize was handed over by Exon's blond, buxom, pigtailed, Viking...
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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden killed by moon men!

Osama Bin Laden killed by moon men!

Moon. 31 October 2099 - Osama Bin Laden, our world hero, has been killed by the moon men who planned to destroy NASA. He was armed with numerous weapons of mass destruction, including Chuck Norris and a Palin09 Rifle. David Letterman said it was...
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Funny story: Osama plans to save planet, NASA and FOX

Osama plans to save planet, NASA and FOX

The world's most loved man, Osama Bin Laden, has announced that he plans to save the planet from moon creatures who want revenge on NASA for blowing up their internet, their fun and 18andover.web This comes as a shock to everyone, especially David...
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Funny story: Rafa Benitez on the Magic Roundabout with mither!

Rafa Benitez on the Magic Roundabout with mither!

ANFIELD, LIVERPOOL - At the heart of the unfolding story of Liverpool Football Club's poor start is Rafa Benitez, which is also the tale of the 'Rafalution'. Many have wondered what, when and where the 'Rafalution' started, will start or has starte...
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Funny story: NASA crash satellites into Winehouse in search of water

NASA crash satellites into Winehouse in search of water

In their continuing search for water or, indeed, signs of life, NASA have crashed two unmanned craft into the surface of the singer Amy Winehouse. They hope to discover whether there is currently, or maybe has been in the past, water inside Winehous...
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Funny story: Outbreak of 'Tory'itis in Witney

Outbreak of 'Tory'itis in Witney

A small Oxfordshire town named Witney which is on the edge of the Cotswolds has this week been declared as being infected with a local Tory council. It is feared that if voters are not careful at the polling station at the next general election, this...
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Funny story: Mexico Bans The Traditional Running of The Bulls

Mexico Bans The Traditional Running of The Bulls

AGUASCALIENTES, Mexico - Mexican President Nacho Winslow (pronounced WEENS-Lo) has just issued a presidential directive strictly prohibiting the aged old, traditional, and downright stupid practice known as 'the running of the bulls.' President Wi...
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Funny story: Self-Charging Car - a British Thirst

Self-Charging Car - a British Thirst

A new electric car manufacturer "Electric Cars" (trademark applied for) has developed an electric car that runs on nuclear batteries. Spokesperson Ophelia Bumgardner commented, "This car avoids the inconvenience of looking for a recharge socket".
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Funny story: Roman Polanski's Lawyer Fears If RoPo Is Not Released, He May Start Eating Himself

Roman Polanski's Lawyer Fears If RoPo Is Not Released, He May Start Eating Himself

ZURICH, Switzerland - Roman Polanski's court-appointed Swiss attorney Burgdorf Zingen has informed the news media that he is afraid that if his client in not released on bail, and soon, Polanski may start eating himself in protest. Zingen, said th...
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Funny story: NASA to Fire Probe at Michelle Obama's Ass

NASA to Fire Probe at Michelle Obama's Ass

Kennedy Space Center - Stinging from a failed attempt to shoot a bomb at the moon to detect signs of water last week NASA scientists today announced plans to shoot an unmanned space probe at Michelle Obama's ass to search for signs of cellulite. S...
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Funny story: David Letterman Cancels His Talk Show's Christmas Party

David Letterman Cancels His Talk Show's Christmas Party

NEW YORK CITY - The owner of the catering company that every year caters The Late Show with David Letterman Christmas Party has just stated that Letterman called him up and told him that he has cancelled this year's traditional festive event. Myro...
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Funny story: Elvis Appears at an Environmentalist Meeting

Elvis Appears at an Environmentalist Meeting

Fairbanks AK: A tall thin older gentleman with long white hair, wearing a blue parka bedecked with rhinestones, carrying a "Teddy Bear" showed up at an environmentalist protest meeting here. He looked vaguely familiar to the assembled throng, which g...
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