Funny story: Cheryl - Ash, I'll Put My Wedding Ring Back On When You Admit You Dived

Cheryl - Ash, I'll Put My Wedding Ring Back On When You Admit You Dived

The wife of a famously belligerent celebrity footballer, who also happens to be a talent show judge (height 5'3" hair extensions and talented mime artiste) has informed her bone-headed hubby that she won't put her wedding ring back on until hubby adm...
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Funny story: The Final Ceilidh

The Final Ceilidh

The Celtic "thing" seems to be getting bigger all the time in the music world. New bands with Celtic names that have to be explained to 99% of the UK population are being formed. In Scotland every January there is a big music festival called the Celtic Connections Festival and I feel a bit excluded from this. I don't have any Celtic connections and this doesn't bother me one way or the other bu...
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Funny story: Confusion Reigns as LAPD Implicate Tupac in Biggie Murder

Confusion Reigns as LAPD Implicate Tupac in Biggie Murder

The LAPD continued to make a mockery of law enforcement this week, in their latest ill-fated investigation into the murder of Rap Legend Biggie Smalls. Long after closing the initial case, a junior officer stumbled across "Rap Beef" volumes one to...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse wants to rescue Jedward

Amy Winehouse wants to rescue Jedward

Amy Winehouse has revealed she can't wait for John and Edward to get voted out of X-factor. This is because she wants them to start performing the new songs she's written for them ASAP. She says "The sooner they're out of that stupid show, the soon...
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Funny story: Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye

Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye

Fresh from promoting the aftershave Brut, veteran boxer Henry Cooper will once again step into the ring. Our 'Enery, undefeated in 30 fights, will take on the new WBVBA Champion David Haye in a charity match to raise awareness of the Donking, said...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle Will Not Be Dancing On "Dancing With The Stars"

Susan Boyle Will Not Be Dancing On "Dancing With The Stars"

HOLLYWOOD - The host of Dancing With The Stars Tom Bergeron wants to put to rest the rumor that Scottish songstress Susan Boyle will be dancing on the next edition of Dancing With The Stars. Bergeron said that he believes that the falsehoods first...
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Funny story: Obama To Receive Special Nobel Prize For Replacing Einstein's Theory

Obama To Receive Special Nobel Prize For Replacing Einstein's Theory

President Barack Obama received a special award from the Nobel Prize committee today as his "What It Is, Is What It Is" Theory. "Where Einstein went wrong, is saying that everything is made up of energy", explained the president, with Harry Reid a...
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Funny story: Scottish People Protest At World's Lowest Wall

Scottish People Protest At World's Lowest Wall

A service attended by thousands of Scottish people turned very nasty today. They were there to protest at their lack of freedom to enter a proper country. For many, many years the tartan wearing kilt bandits have been held prisoner in their own grey...
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Funny story: The Fall Of The Wall - 20 Years On, A Look Back

The Fall Of The Wall - 20 Years On, A Look Back

20 years ago yesterday saw the final fall of the Berlin wall as loads of mad Germans attacked the structure with lump hammers and chisels in a bid to escape to the soviet bloc in search of much longed for freedom. Probably less well known, yet no...
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Funny story: Berlin Wall renamed as EU Wall

Berlin Wall renamed as EU Wall

On the 20th anniversary of the falling of the Berlin Wall, the foundations have been laid for a new bigger, better and longer EU wall. Swathes of deforestation has taken place from the Baltic to the Black sea to make room for the footings. NASA...
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Funny story: Shopping at "Woe Is Me Mart" ; Great Sport for Spoofers!

Shopping at "Woe Is Me Mart" ; Great Sport for Spoofers!

On a crisp fall day, probably in a town like Georgetown, South Carolina, our aging writer, former athlete, man about town, now fallen on severe disrepair due to the irreversible process of aging, decided to buy a bicycle and return to the days of his infancy...yet one more brief step away from diapers and a life approaching full circle. Finding that walking has now become a chore due to yet und...
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Funny story: Mormon Church to Allow Pornography

Mormon Church to Allow Pornography

The Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints announced today that pornography is natural and healthy and all lay members of the church will be encouraged to read or watch pornographic videos. "We are all the products of horny men and women", said a spok...
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Funny story: Mad Hatter Jim Carrey plays Scrooge and Dickens turns in his grave!

Mad Hatter Jim Carrey plays Scrooge and Dickens turns in his grave!

Mad Hatter Jim Carrey playing Scrooge in the Dicken's classic, A Christmas Carol has rocketed to Nr.1 in the US and made Charles Dickens turn in his grave. Carrey, better known as an ACE, RIDDLER mending CABLES whilst wearing a strange MASK, LYING...
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Funny story: Britney Spears Launches A "Flamin' Stinker" Down Under

Britney Spears Launches A "Flamin' Stinker" Down Under

Many Aussie fans and even some politicians were left upset and unimpressed by Britney Spears lip-synthing and want their money refunded. "She doesn't even sing. Just shows her tits! The old lady could do that!", stated one disgruntled fan who walk...
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Funny story: Many X-Factor Fans Are Calling For Simon Cowell To Be Arrested

Many X-Factor Fans Are Calling For Simon Cowell To Be Arrested

LONDON - Literally tens of thousands of viewers and fans of the British musical reality show X-Factor are angrily asking that one of the shows judges Simon Cowell be arrested. Furious fans and vehement voters from all over the United Kingdom are b...
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Funny story: Teachers "heading" for the Philippines beware, kidnappers there enjoy the game of "Headball" with teachers heads!

Teachers "heading" for the Philippines beware, kidnappers there enjoy the game of "Headball" with teachers heads!

Teachers "heading" towards the Philippines beware, you could end up being "headless" and be forced into participating in the new Philippinian Kidnappers Folks-sport called "Headball"!! Muslim Kidnappers target international teachers because they f...
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Funny story: Jedward Feel Guilty Over Knocking Lucie Jones Off The X Factor

Jedward Feel Guilty Over Knocking Lucie Jones Off The X Factor

The twins John and Edward Grimes say they know they are not as talented as the gal they have grown fond of, but that's the way the show works. "Lucie definitely has loads of talent", stated Edward, we think. "She deserves a shot on a show or a rec...
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Funny story: PsychoTown - Part 2

PsychoTown - Part 2

Psycho Town Recap: Part 1 5.04am Rain washes down as the front headlights of a pink Cadillac comes into view reflecting off the deserted city streets. The car screeches to a halt outside a rundown brownstone building. O' Halloran steps out, scratching his balls as he makes his way inside the city morgue. "What's the cause of death, Doc?", he calls out as he tosses his well-worn trench coat...
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Funny story: German government approves plans for new "Berlin Super Wall" stretching from the Baltic to the Mediterranean!

German government approves plans for new "Berlin Super Wall" stretching from the Baltic to the Mediterranean!

After celebrating the "fall of the wall" Germany has now approved the building of an even higher, safer, longer, stronger wall stretching from the Baltic sea to the Mediterranean sea. To be exact, starting at the Polish border and ending on the Cr...
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Funny story: The Pope in scandal about Jedward

The Pope in scandal about Jedward

It is becoming more and more obvious, as week follows week that the Irish twins,'singers' John and Edward Grimes, a.k.a. Jedward will eventually win the X Factor. The boys, who hail from Londonderry are good old Roman Catholic ex-choirboys and with...
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Funny story: PM and the one-eyed trouser snake

PM and the one-eyed trouser snake

Prime Minister Gordon Brown today 'apologizered' for the letter he wrote to the mother of a dead war hero that contained a number of schoolboy 'misteaks'. He told Mrs Janes (he had written to Mrs James) that because he only had one eye - his right...
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Funny story: Football's Offside Rule altered

Football's Offside Rule altered

The offside rule in football, which nobody has ever fully understood no matter how many times it has been explained to them, was changed today, and first came into effect at the crucial match between Chelsea and their visitors Manchester United. P...
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Funny story: Metropolitan Police not institutionally racist

Metropolitan Police not institutionally racist

No, from today onwards and forever more, the Met have confirmed they are happy to go with the simple term 'racist', to more accurately reflect the organisations character. A official statement from the Metropolitan Black Police association has con...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle Destroys Set On Dancing With The Stars

Susan Boyle Destroys Set On Dancing With The Stars

Susan Boyle can sing with an angelic voice and be quite charming but after being told by one of the dancers on Dancing With The Stars that her face had been hit with a three-pronged ugly stick, went for his throat and tore up most the stage before th...
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Funny story: Bush Reflects on Bush in Personal Memoirs

Bush Reflects on Bush in Personal Memoirs

George W. Bush is close to releasing a book of his personal memoirs, one former presidential insider claims. "The content will be completely introspective and based on his numerous accomplishments". The short pamphlet was released to his editors...
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Funny story: Cadberry and Krafft Close to Merger Agreement

Cadberry and Krafft Close to Merger Agreement

The two food processing giants are close to formal agreement for merger, says one insider to the negotiations. Working through the last details, executives are close to decisions affecting both companies, including paint colors for the merged office...
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Funny story: "Undead" political leaders cause chaos in north

"Undead" political leaders cause chaos in north

Stoke, UK. The authorities, i.e. Police, Army, Oxfam volunteers, are warning all citizens to stay in their homes tonight following the gruesome death toll wrought by what some are describing as the "undead". In unprecedented events, around an est...
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Funny story: Jurassic Park 4 gets Director and loses raptors?

Jurassic Park 4 gets Director and loses raptors?

Joe Johnston has said that he is accepting an offer to direct the fourth Jurassic Park movie because it has "a great story". The filmmaker, who steered the third franchise instalment, told Ain't It Cool News that the Jurassic Park 4 script takes t...
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Funny story: David Hay gets beaten up... By his mum!

David Hay gets beaten up... By his mum!

Newly-crowned heavyweight champion of the world, David 'The Hayemaker' Haye has come home to face being told off by his mum. Having beaten the 7' 2" Russian giant Nicolai Valuev at the weekend, the 'Eastender' flew home to a hero's welcome - that is...
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Funny story: The truth behind real estate mogul Nathaniel Sandusky

The truth behind real estate mogul Nathaniel Sandusky

"How do you do it Sandusky?" "Trade secrets my friends, trade secrets." That's the question of the hour. How has Nathaniel Sandusky created a modern day empire out of zilch? In fact, where does Nathaniel Sandusky come from? Those are the questions we've set out to answer, and answer them we will to the best of our ability. The Problem: Nathaniel Sandusky is not a registered American citiz...
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Funny story: George Bush on his predecessor, Barack Obama.

George Bush on his predecessor, Barack Obama.

During a recent sit down with Major Garrett of FOX News, Mr. Bush was asked to narrow down to one word, if he could, what best distinguished him from the present occupant of the White House. "Butt!" emphatically replied Mr. Bush. The interviewer looked clueless. "That's affirmative, Major" affirmed the President, breaking the prolonged silence. "Uh, that word," asked Garrett, "is it t...
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Funny story: Fort Hood 'ticking timebomb' shooter: the George W Bush connection

Fort Hood 'ticking timebomb' shooter: the George W Bush connection

Texas - (Freudian Flip): The Fort Hood shrink was on the mental health certification panel that passed Bush's 1994 Texas gubernatorial Pioneer funraisers as 'clinically sane', according to reports. And Pentagon Bonesmen colleagues - who erased Geo...
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Funny story: Megan Fox : "I'm running out of statements!"

Megan Fox : "I'm running out of statements!"

Megan Fox has revealed that she will say anything to get her name in print. The Jennifer's Body star, who plays a murdering, cannibalistic cheerleader in the film, said that she found it easy to say anything but was running out of statements to sh...
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Funny story: Morse: Can You Crack It...

Morse: Can You Crack It...

Dot dot dot dash dot dash dot dot dot dot dash dot dash dot dot dot dot dot dash dot dot dot / dash dash dash dash dash dot dot dot dash dash dot dash dash / dot dot dash dot dash dash dash dot dash dot dash dash dot dot dash dot dash dot dot dot dash dash dot dash dot dot / dot dash / dash dash dash dash dot dash dash dot / dot dot dot dot dash dot dash dot dot dash dot...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil Blames 40 Years of Sesame Street's Cookie Monster for Kid Obesity

Dr. Phil Blames 40 Years of Sesame Street's Cookie Monster for Kid Obesity

"You do realize that some critics hold you solely responsible for the current epidemic of obesity in American children today," said Dr. Phil as he spoke with Sesame Street's 'Cookie Monster'. "Now I wouldn't go that far as to blame just you. Diet and heredity has a lot to do with kids gaining weight, too, But, and that's a big but, no pun intended, I do hold your eating disorder and obsession wit...
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Funny story: Social Networking for Vicars

Social Networking for Vicars

The Church of England has decided to join the twenty-first century with the launch of it's brand new Social Networking site for its clergy. However, there has been some controversy over the choice of name that has landed the Anglicans in hot water...
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Funny story: X-Factor: Jedward Stays, Lucie Jones Goes

X-Factor: Jedward Stays, Lucie Jones Goes

LONDON - Jedward, the Irish lads that Simon Cowell did not like, but then said that he kinda liked found themselves in the botton two along with Welsh singer Lucie Jones. The twin boys were saved from elimination by the pubic vote. The 'tell it l...
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Funny story: Chris Brown Says "Rihanna She Be Lying"

Chris Brown Says "Rihanna She Be Lying"

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Chris Brown in town for a rap concert at The Cotton Pickin' Arena said that he is tired of people looking at him as if she is a bad guy or something. Brown said that Rihanna has been telling reporters that he beat her, and bi...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Mother Announces She Will Take Lindsay's Place

Lindsay Lohan's Mother Announces She Will Take Lindsay's Place

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - In a dramatic and highly unprecedented move Lindsay Lohan's beautiful look-a-like mother, Dina Lohan has announced to the entertainment media that she will be taking her daughter's place. The elder Lohan stated that for the past...
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Funny story: Strictly Come Dancing's Craig Kelly Told To Dance On Out The Door

Strictly Come Dancing's Craig Kelly Told To Dance On Out The Door

LONDON - Craig Kelly is this season's Strictly Come Dancing's eighth casualty. The Lancashire native was asked to dance right on out of the Blackpool Tower Ballroom His partner Flavia Cacace said that she will miss Craig's cute little way he wo...
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Funny story: Great Government Philosphers (Part 2) - Post Magna Carta

Great Government Philosphers (Part 2) - Post Magna Carta

I have previously outlined some of the major philosophers that laid the foundations for the system of modern government, particularly in western countries. Dillayus, Burocrates, Futilius and Obstrucius all played a major role in this early phase. After the classic era, there followed the Dark Ages, where the teachings of these wise men were forgotten and consequently chaos ruled. Decisions were...
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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Files Lawsuit Against Former Hubby Who's Selling Sexy Films Of Their Marriage

Jennifer Lopez Files Lawsuit Against Former Hubby Who's Selling Sexy Films Of Their Marriage

In a a lawsuit Jennifer Lopez claims that her ex-husband Ojani Noa is planning to release a movie about them from hours of footage he took of them while they were married. In the lawsuit, filed only this week in L.A. County Superior Court, Lopez c...
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Funny story: Shock Corporate Announcement - CEO makes sense, company shares plummet!

Shock Corporate Announcement - CEO makes sense, company shares plummet!

Smith Enterprises Chief Executive Officer, Brad Smith, left the business community reeling yesterday. Mr Smith made his latest quarterly report speech using nothing but plain English. Mr Smith told his audience that sales were increasing and that...
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