Funny story: Merger Looms For Many Letters.

Merger Looms For Many Letters.

The MD of DFS today spoke of a totally hypothetical bid to merge with the MFI, M&S and B&Q. This would possibly make them DFS&MFI&M&S&B&Q. We spoke at TGI's over a BLT and G&T. Lyndon Stubbs, 48, used to work for th...
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Funny story: 'From Russia With Free Love' by Ian Flaming

'From Russia With Free Love' by Ian Flaming

James Bond walked into his office in Central London this morning with a sense of futility, for he could hardly stand another day of doing paperwork. 'Morning, James', his secretary Miss Moneylaundry said to him, but he merely grunted a reply and went through to his desk. 'There's a memo for you from M', she called through to him, and his eyes lit up as he realised another mission was about to b...
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Funny story: Rod Hull Is Alive. Then He's Not.

Rod Hull Is Alive. Then He's Not.

For two days the world was on the edge of it's seat. It was believed that the popular and much loved children's TV presenter and Emu worrier Rod Hull was alive and well and not dead. However, investigations into the exact circumstances of the rumo...
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Funny story: Carrie Prejean Finally Admits It - She Has Fallen Madly In Love With Herself

Carrie Prejean Finally Admits It - She Has Fallen Madly In Love With Herself

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - The ex-Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was in Cheyenne on the western leg of her book signing tour for her book Still Standing But Listing Badly. Miss Prejean stopped to have lunch at a local Taco Terrifico Diner. She was chat...
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Funny story: Springsteen Forgets To Zip Up, What State He's In

Springsteen Forgets To Zip Up, What State He's In

At the rock concert over the weekend by the Boss, Bruce Springsteen, he stopped to say, "Hello Ohio!". Then he repeated the Ohio references several times until guitarist Steve Van Zandt whispered in his ear that they were in Michigan. "Sorry! Gett...
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Funny story: Texas Governor Rick Perry Ready To Give Major Nidal Malik Hasan a Quick "Texas Drive-Thru Trial"

Texas Governor Rick Perry Ready To Give Major Nidal Malik Hasan a Quick "Texas Drive-Thru Trial"

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry recently spoke from the back porch of the Governor's Mansion in a one-on-one interview with Dusty Nelson, a reporter for Austin's KICK Channel 82. The governor said that he is prepared to give the Fort Hood Shooter, Ma...
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Funny story: Spoof Club Part Deux

Spoof Club Part Deux

"The Bitters Bordello" It was 2:00 AM Brussels time when I made my way out of the Skoob & Thistle, still waiting for the burn to stop from the Jalapeno cheese burger I had consumed minutes before. I followed McCarthy's instructions down the alley towards the door with the glow of a red neon light washing over hand hewn cobblestone. McCarthy wasn't kidding. The neon tube had been twiste...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart's Bad Sex Memory At Thanksgiving

Kristen Stewart's Bad Sex Memory At Thanksgiving

While several of us were allowed recently to talk with some of the cast of Twilight: New Moon, the group somehow got onto Thanksgiving, being this time of year, and some great memories they had. Probably, the other reason was because everyone was...
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Funny story: Scotland's new national soccer manager must be red haired, have freckles and wear a kilt!

Scotland's new national soccer manager must be red haired, have freckles and wear a kilt!

After sacking their national soccer manager George Burley, Scotland have had enough of "Anglo-cised" managers constantly cocking it up. The new search criteria is as follows: 1) He must be red-haired and have ginger freckles! 2) He must wea...
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Funny story: Jay Leno Books Queen Elizabeth II, The Rolling Stones, Charles Manson, and Fidel Castro.

Jay Leno Books Queen Elizabeth II, The Rolling Stones, Charles Manson, and Fidel Castro.

HOLLYWOOD - In what Hollywood insiders are calling a desperate measure to try and improve the ratings for the fledgling Jay Leno Show NBC has announced that it has booked some heavy hitters to share the TV screen with Jay (pronounced "J"). The sho...
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Funny story: PsychoTown - Part 7

PsychoTown - Part 7

Psycho Town Recap: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 "So let me get this straight in my mind before I attempt to explain this shit-storm to the Chief", Lieutenant Kowalski spits as he circles the room on his unicycle. "You released a seven-foot female witness and directed her to go to a sleazy Motel on the shitty side of town where a body is found in her room minus a head a...
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Funny story: US Santa 2009 is black! KKK, Aryan Brotherhood and other White Power groups cause national riots!

US Santa 2009 is black! KKK, Aryan Brotherhood and other White Power groups cause national riots!

For the first time in the history of Santa Claus it has been annouced the official US Santa 2009 will be black. Another bastion of white supremacy has finally capitulated and as for a White Christmas in 2010 it will also be black! This has caus...
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Lose: Tony Romo Says He Wants Jessica Simpson Back

Dallas Cowboys Lose: Tony Romo Says He Wants Jessica Simpson Back

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo sat in the Cowboys locker room disheartened, dejected, and depressed after their lackluster effort (showing) in their 17-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers who were 4 and 4 coming into the game...
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Funny story: Labour show true colours again !

Labour show true colours again !

A massive row has broken out after an Essex Labour candidate "need we say any more ?" called the Queen a "parasite" and likened her to "vermin". Peter White, or Comrade "oh" Shite as he is now known in Labour circles, used the arsebook networking...
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Funny story: Mad Men Couple Heating Up TV Screen

Mad Men Couple Heating Up TV Screen

The couple on the hit television drama "Mad Men" that have been doing some pretty raunchy sex set scenes should be, and have been, given a pass from many of the TV censors for a good reason. The ABC Emmy-winning show featuring John Slattery and Ta...
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Funny story: Carrie To Market "Peace In The Valley" Sex Toys To Christian Book Stores.

Carrie To Market "Peace In The Valley" Sex Toys To Christian Book Stores.

Carrie Prejean held a press conference today to announce a new product line that she will market to Christian book stores all across the country. "There is nothng in the bible about breast implants and there is nothing in the bible about persona...
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Funny story: Mariah Carey Has Kirstie's Disease!

Mariah Carey Has Kirstie's Disease!

Fans of Mariah Carey are wondering what's up with the lady besides her 45-pound gain? "She is very much in danger of passing the 200-pound milestone if she doesn't get her weight in check", stated a source this morning after Carey made a brief but...
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Funny story: Carrie Prejean Proud of Her Christian Implants

Carrie Prejean Proud of Her Christian Implants

In multiple interviews this past week, ousted California beauty queen, Carrie Prejean says that she is "proud" of her breast implants and that they fall under, or more appropriately stated, rise to the guidelines set forth by her church leadership.
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Funny story: Scandal: Doctor Dolittle Arrested.

Scandal: Doctor Dolittle Arrested.

One time naturalist and animal lover Doctor John 'Fishy' Dolittle has been arrested and charged with the murder and mutilation of over 16 people over the past 6 years. The doctor, who had a brief spell of fame with his 'talking to the animals' tri...
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Funny story: Ann Coulter Cloned in Secret Republican Hospital Wing

Ann Coulter Cloned in Secret Republican Hospital Wing

Following the investigative report by Spoof staffer NickFun on Ann Coulter's Adam's apple removal, nurses at the same D.C. hospital report seeing a bevy of small female children with long bleached-blonde hair running the halls of a private wing. W...
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Funny story: Doctor Who Not A Real Doctor Shock!

Doctor Who Not A Real Doctor Shock!

The old head of Doctor Who's University has shockingly revealed that the time travelling wonder geek never finished his studies and so is not infact a qualified doctor. Barry Trent, 96, claims "that fraudster has been getting away with it for long...
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Funny story: Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

In a shock discovery by Terry O'Flannell, 54, Brussels sprouts have been proven to be the creation of Satan. Long thought of as the tiny cousin of a cabbage, sprouts are known for their potent gas making capabilities and foul and disgustingly horr...
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Funny story: Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel reality TV star dead

Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel reality TV star dead

Oklahoma - (Rotters): Brooke Phillips was found dead in an Oklahoma City arson attack this weekend following a fledgeling debut in the 'Cat House' reality TV series. The 21 year-old, whose TV screen name was Hoyden Brooks, was one of four found sh...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle To Perform Duet With Elvis Presley

Susan Boyle To Perform Duet With Elvis Presley

New York, NY-- Modern technology is once again performing miracles and pairing two singers from distant decades together. Sad, strange, Scottish songbird Susan Boyle will duet with the King Himself--Elvis Presley. The dazzling duo will perform a du...
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Funny story: Delroy Grant's 'gonad retry' defence

Delroy Grant's 'gonad retry' defence

London - (Crimebotch): Accused 'Night Stalker' perpetrator Delroy Grant has appeared before magistrates and blamed a dyslexia hex for a string of alleged crimes. The 69 year-old has been charged with multiple sex offences which he says are the res...
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Funny story: Worlds Largest Cupcake Hits "Bit Of A Problem."

Worlds Largest Cupcake Hits "Bit Of A Problem."

An attempt on the world record for worlds largest cupcake has hit "a bit of a problem" says event organiser Gordon Ramsay, 72. "We had the mix, we had the paper cup, we even had the mixing equipment," he expunged whilst doing that thrusting thing...
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Funny story: Some bloke reveals - Dinosaurs never existed

Some bloke reveals - Dinosaurs never existed

In a shock and unprecedented outburst of absolute honesty, Gregory Hammer, chief historian at the Natural History Museum, London - Earth, admitted today that dinosaurs never existed and that all evidence suggesting so was merely fabricated by over ea...
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Funny story: The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

London - (Rotten Fruit): An emergency coup d'etat will see the cancellation of the Queen's Peach on Wednesday. The prediction comes from self-confessed shagger of 'no more than 30 women' cum-Lib/Dem mouthpiece Nick C Legg-Over, 69. "All the sig...
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Funny story: Winehouse Eats Dog Live On Air.

Winehouse Eats Dog Live On Air.

Horse faced pop strumpet Amylia Winehouse sensationally ate a dog live on air this morning, on This Morning, today. She was being interviewed by Phillip Schofield, 45, when the hapless pup strolled across the set. Incensed that the dozy dog had st...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie and Octomom spark Mid East security alert

Angelina Jolie and Octomom spark Mid East security alert

Hollywood superstar Angelina Jolie and Nadya Suleman sparked a massive security alert when they got involved in an altercation at Damascus Airport. Nadya, known as "Octomom" because she has fourteen children, became furious when she discovered she an...
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Funny story: Ladies: No Pants in Paris Please

Ladies: No Pants in Paris Please

In an unprecedented move France's Ministry of Interior has acted on a parliamentary vote and made it illegal for women to wear pants in Paris. The No-Pants-In-Paris rule, passed unanimously in the French parliament, will become applicable on Dece...
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Funny story: Fishy Conspiracy

Fishy Conspiracy

After considerable research, it can be revealed that the fisheries agencies around the world have been lying to us about Salmon and Tuna. They have maintained that the two are separate species, but this is in fact a lie. Tuna are adult Salmon...
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Funny story: Giant baby destroys Norwich

Giant baby destroys Norwich

A state of emergency has been declared in the county of Norfolk after a 30 foot infant run amok in Norwich city centre, smashing buildings and sucking on parked cars. The origins of the gigantic baby are unknown and it has so far evaded capture. I...
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Funny story: Dai Laffin - Remembering a mediocre life.

Dai Laffin - Remembering a mediocre life.

Today is the 200th anniversary of the death of the Welsh poet Dai Laffin. This much maligned and forgotten poet left the earth on this day in 1809. He had many, many poems in his repertoire, most of which respectable publishers identified as the...
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Funny story: Blossoming like a Rose

Blossoming like a Rose

No wonder if men have loved so much their mom. For instance, Neal E. Boyd, the winner of $1-million prize of America's Got Talent, 2008, during his audition, repeatedly cried, shed tears and emphasized his love for his mom. Man comparatively differs pretty much from other members of the animal kingdom, to the extents that one doubts a common creator. The female of this species, somehow differs...
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Funny story: Survivor Samoa: "It Does Not Effen Taste Like Chicken, It's A Friggin' Rat!"

Survivor Samoa: "It Does Not Effen Taste Like Chicken, It's A Friggin' Rat!"

OPOLU ISLAND, Samoa - The petite, bikini-clad Southern gal Natalie hunts, stalks, traps and finally shoots a raging rat. The others see it as a varmint, but Natty the Belle of the South sees it as dinner. And although not quite in the Big Mac leag...
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Funny story: X-Factor: The Show Must Go On But Without Jamie Archer

X-Factor: The Show Must Go On But Without Jamie Archer

LONDON - As they say in show business, 'the show must go on.' And that also happens to be the song that Jamie Archer chose to sing in his 'sing off' with Lloyd Daniels. Simon Cowell cast his vote for Jamie. He said that Jamie not only was the best...
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Funny story: Obambi to issue new currency on Hitler's Birthday

Obambi to issue new currency on Hitler's Birthday

BEJING China - Upon his arrival in China this evening, according to my source Noyen Tubuyca, Obambi declared that the US Treasury would issue its own currency independent of the Federal Reserve, the country of China, and the Bilberberg cabal. The...
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Funny story: Piers Morgan In Powdered Custard Melee

Piers Morgan In Powdered Custard Melee

Well known spiv, ex-Mirror Editor and general ponce, Piers Morgan, was caught on CCTV on several occasions last Thursday, trying to eat "raw" Custard in a number of supermarkets and a Butchers. Morgan was then chased into a local Pet Shop by several...
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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Moon Romo After HE Shows HIS Ass in Loss to Packers!

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Moon Romo After HE Shows HIS Ass in Loss to Packers!

In an ultimate showing of disrespect, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders mooned star crossed Quarterback Tony Romo after yet another dismal showing. Unable to get untracked from the highly publicized break up with Texas Free Ranging Cow, Jessica Simps...
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Funny story: Aliens...they do exist among us!

Aliens...they do exist among us!

Aliens do exist and are walking among us! Sound like fantasy? It's not. A researcher at Noncomprendia University has found startlingly strong evidence that aliens from parallel universes are indeed present on earth. Dr Honor Benda has spent sever...
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Funny story: Jon Ate Bird Shit Claims TV Lady With Eight Kids

Jon Ate Bird Shit Claims TV Lady With Eight Kids

An actress who asked that her name not be mentioned, has told this reporter that her ex-husband, Jon, the scumbag, ate bird shit. "I actually saw him do it and it made me gag", stated the unknown actress who will continue a TV show about eight kid...
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