Funny story: Excessive Drinking 'Harmful' - Shock Revelation

Excessive Drinking 'Harmful' - Shock Revelation

A statement issued by a bunch of Harley Street Doctors earlier today sent shockwaves through the world's drinking fraternity. The statement maintained that excessive drinking could result in 'a smack in the face' in a crowded kebab shop, extended...
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Funny story: Chris Kamara Advised To Take It Easy By Herb Doctor

Chris Kamara Advised To Take It Easy By Herb Doctor

Telly football commentator and pundit Chris Kamara was given a stern warning today from a man who described himself as a 'herb doctor'. The self styled herb doctor advised Kamara not to get too worked up over nothing or he was in very real danger of...
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Funny story: Clint Eastwood is Stan Laurel's son - truth revealed at last!

Clint Eastwood is Stan Laurel's son - truth revealed at last!

Eddie Large has seen his career revitalised with the overnight success of singer Susan Boyle - many people are claiming they are one and the same- at the most and at the least identical, fraternal twins. Clint Eastwood 53, has also been dogged by...
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Funny story: Foiled Suicide Bomber Presses Assault Charges

Foiled Suicide Bomber Presses Assault Charges

A suicide bomber who shot and injured two police officers here in Kirkuk, northern Iraq has lodged an official complaint and is threatening to press charges against the men who brought him to ground and knocked him unconscious before tying his hands...
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Funny story: BGT's Sue Son Tells Best Mate To Do One

BGT's Sue Son Tells Best Mate To Do One

Heartless fiddler and Vanessa Mae wannabe, Sue Son stunned her best mate Janine Khalil in front of millions of viewers in Saturday's BGT instalment by unceremoniously ditching her. The pair initially appeared as instrumental duo, Addicted, but fol...
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Funny story: BGT's Jamie Pugh Fired From Pizza Delivery Job

BGT's Jamie Pugh Fired From Pizza Delivery Job

He may have wowed the audience, the judges, and millions of television viewers with his rendition of 'Bring Him Home' from the muscal production of Les Miserables, but Jamie Pugh, brother of Gladys from Hi De Hi was brought back down to earth with a...
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Funny story: H1N1 Sales Strong

H1N1 Sales Strong

Chicago - Sales of H1N1 were strong last week with sides of H1N1 reaching two dollars and fifty cents a pound. H1N1 bellies were up ten percent in trading with finished chops and hams up five percent as well. Feed lots have had trouble keeping up...
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Funny story: Advice from Grandpa

Advice from Grandpa

Son, if I told you once, I told you a thousand times, one man's meat is another man's poison. I realize you are just sowing your wild oats, but believe you me, if you have seen one you have seen them all, and that lady friend of yours makes me as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Sure, she may be pretty as a speckled pup under a red wagon and look pure as a mothers breast milk...
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Funny story: Obama Names First Supreme Court Nominee

Obama Names First Supreme Court Nominee

The upcoming retirement/resignation of Justice Souter will allow new U.S. President Barack Obama to name his first appointment to the United States Supreme Court. According to confidential sources within the White House, Obama considered the problem...
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Funny story: Flash Flash Mob Flash

Flash Flash Mob Flash

At the home of British Parliaments, Westminster, London, not a long way from Big Ben, some 600 plus, so-called "MPs" flashed mobbed the House Of Commons simply by turning up to "vote" to approve legislation to ban Flash Mobbing without 75 hours prior...
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Funny story: Howard Webb Dropped By Sir Alex

Howard Webb Dropped By Sir Alex

Sir Alex Ferguson admitted today that Howard Webb would be unlikely to take part in another Manchester United game this season. Following his controversial display in United's 5 - 2 home victory over Spurs, Sir Alex felt it was time for Howard Web...
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Funny story: Woman Killed by Fridge Magnets

Woman Killed by Fridge Magnets

Barnstaple - Sixty-seven year old Marjorie Givens died last week when her refrigerator toppled over on her while she was getting some milk for her tea. Forensic investigation by the local constabulary under the direction of Mike Millington has re...
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Funny story: Parents Groups Upset at "How To Get Laid" Book in School Libraries

Parents Groups Upset at "How To Get Laid" Book in School Libraries

Parents groups in the California are upset about a new book that has just appeared in Public School libraries across the state. "How to Get Laid," a book by Rod Ironman, has members of the P.T.A., the Gay P.T.A., and the BiSexual P.T.A. calling for...
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Funny story: 1,000,000th Repossesed Homeowner Identified

1,000,000th Repossesed Homeowner Identified

The credit crunch showed no signs of abating when the millionth person to be evicted since the beginning of the crisis was today named. Mr Simon Cargo from Dudley in the West Midlands was forcibly evicted from his home in the early hours of Sunday...
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Funny story: Increased Erections Side Effect of Swine Flu

Increased Erections Side Effect of Swine Flu

While many people are sick or have died from Swine Flu, the survivors have noticed one side effect of this disease: longer, harder, and more frequent erections. Announcement of this by the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) has caused men of all age...
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Funny story: Hatton Unhappy With Fight Arrangements

Hatton Unhappy With Fight Arrangements

Trouble in the Ricky Hatton camp today ahead of his light-welterweight bout with Manny Pacquiao in Las Vegas tomorrow, with the Manchester boxer objecting to the start time of the fight. The fight, at the MGM Grand, is scheduled to start at 04:00...
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Funny story: Now Prince Harry confesses he hasn't bathed in "over 2 years". Close friends say he "literally pongs". Doctors fear it may be a phobia inherited from Henry VIII

Now Prince Harry confesses he hasn't bathed in "over 2 years". Close friends say he "literally pongs". Doctors fear it may be a phobia inherited from Henry VIII

LONDON, UK: First he admitted to friends that he hadn't washed his hair in 2 years. Now a sheepish Prince Harry has told friends that he actually hasn't "bathed in over two years". The spare and 3rd in line to the throne says he has just manage...
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Funny story: Latest News From Boogertown, USA

Latest News From Boogertown, USA

A Mexican man from Boogertown is recovering in the Booger Green hospital after the control unit on his electric booboo stretcher shorted out and caught on fire, according to the Boogertown Fire Department. An interpreter told the Boogertown Banner that Jose Carralas is recovering and is simply thankful that he already had 17 kids before he was ruined. Meanwhile, Boogertown's own Brother Verbe...
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Funny story: Jennifer Aniston Blows Her Top!

Jennifer Aniston Blows Her Top!

Jennifer Aniston has lost her cool completely according to her friends and showing how deeply bitter she is about her ex, John Mayer's highly publicized romp with 23-year old cocktail waitress, Scheana Marie Jancan. "He sure tries to pick them yo...
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Funny story: Dutch Queen almost assailed by anti-active euthanasia terrorist using a car

Dutch Queen almost assailed by anti-active euthanasia terrorist using a car

Amsterdam, The Netherlands - Dutch authorities have been tightlipped about releasing information on the attempted assassination of their queen by what officials are describing as sole act of a deranged lunatic bent on using his car as a lethal inject...
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Funny story: ITV Launch Britain's Got Swine Flu

ITV Launch Britain's Got Swine Flu

There has been great excitement in the showbusiness world this lunchtime, after main BBC rival, ITV, released details of a new blockbuster show that it intends to schedule into Saturday nights, Britain's Got Swine Flu. The show is a direct reactio...
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Funny story: Thousands of people catch swine 'flu today just before dying in car crashes

Thousands of people catch swine 'flu today just before dying in car crashes

Across the world today thousands of people died in car crashes, but incredibly they all caught swine 'flu just minutes before dying. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said: 'This shows how dangerous the 'flu is. The government have spent thirty...
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Funny story: Canadian Eskimo Blamed For Swine Flu

Canadian Eskimo Blamed For Swine Flu

Mexico City, Mexico [UPI] - A native Canadian Eskimo, or Inuit as is the preferred term, is being blamed as the source of the H1M1 virus, or so-called 'Swine Flu' by Mexican health authorities. "We believe Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad H...
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Funny story: Prince Philip Posts Video Of Naked Windsor Sex Romp Couple On Youtube

Prince Philip Posts Video Of Naked Windsor Sex Romp Couple On Youtube

Windsor, U.K. [UPI] - In what may be considered a first in Royal circles, a couple having sex on the lawn out front of Windsor Castle have had their escapade taped via Royal webcam and posted on Youtube by HRH Prince Philip. "You could say it was...
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Funny story: Britain names first-ever female 'Pot Laureate'

Britain names first-ever female 'Pot Laureate'

London [UPI] - The first-ever female 'Pot Laureate', 23 year-old Jessica Farnsworth, has been named to the Royal Household. Her job is to celebrate the use of cannabis through poetry, during special occasions, weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and ot...
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Funny story: The Inconvenient Billionaire: Al Gore Turns Myths Into Millions!

The Inconvenient Billionaire: Al Gore Turns Myths Into Millions!

Chicago, Illinois/ Carbon Counting Capitol of The World - Thanks to to Global Warming Hysteria, in part created by the Minister of Hot Air himself, Al Gore, worth $1m in 2000 and now worth $100,000m is soon to be a Billionaire! A finely orchestra...
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Funny story: It's the apocalypse, but "don't panic" - UN

It's the apocalypse, but "don't panic" - UN

Officials in Washington admitted yesterday that the apocalypse is upon us, but urged people not to panic as, "that might make things worse". Earthquakes, floods, pestilence, global warming, war and economic doom have coincided with a 200% increase...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Wants Dad To Apologize To Ronson

Lindsay Lohan Wants Dad To Apologize To Ronson

Sam Ronson-free, but definitely not liking it, Lindsay Lohan actually blames her dad Michael Lohan for triggering her breakup with Samantha Ronson with those endless headline-making cracks about his daughter's boy-oh-boy great love affair with the Br...
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Funny story: Bourbon Expected To Top $80 Per Liter By This Fall!

Bourbon Expected To Top $80 Per Liter By This Fall!

Better watch out for the price of liquor to skyrocket by this fall, many predicting that Kentucky bourbon could go as high as $80.00 per liter or even higher. Walter Belcher, spokesman for Ezra Brooks agrees with recent statements by the makers of...
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Funny story: West Side Bernie Madoff all the rage for Kentucky Derby

West Side Bernie Madoff all the rage for Kentucky Derby

Churchill Downs - (CIA Trojan Whorse Ass Mess): Stalking whorse extraordinaire West Side Bernie Madoff can win today's 135th Run for the Guns 'N' Roses to redeem all those missing $$$ billions lost in the eponymous Ponzi scamster's Mossad pension fun...
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Funny story: Britains Got Talent - Susan Boyle is Liar and Cheat says Sid 'Supersonic' Little

Britains Got Talent - Susan Boyle is Liar and Cheat says Sid 'Supersonic' Little

Supersonic Sid made a startling outburst this morning, by branding Susan Boyle both a liar and cheat, as he believes she is his former comedy partner, Eddie Large. Sid who is a devout Christian demonstrated this by showing us a bible and singing...
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Funny story: President Obama switches to become Republican

President Obama switches to become Republican

In a move that has shaken the US political system, President Barack Obama has announced this morning that he has become a Republican. In a press conference this morning, the President described the reasoning for his shock decision. "I always prom...
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Funny story: Swine Flu Has Mutated!

Swine Flu Has Mutated!

It was the major worry amongst health experts, the thing that they all feared would happen, and today, critically, it's happened - Swine Flu has mutated! The virus that has caused so much trouble was named Swine Flu by health officials who had bee...
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Funny story: Swine Flu Threat To Cup Final

Swine Flu Threat To Cup Final

A Press statement is expected to be released later today that may have severe implications for the FA Cup final between Chelsea and Everton at Wembley on 30 May. It's thought that, because of developments in the Swine Flu crisis, with the virus no...
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Funny story: The Swine Flu Causes The Canceling of "Cinco De Mayo"

The Swine Flu Causes The Canceling of "Cinco De Mayo"

DALLAS - The United States Mexican Heritage Awareness Federation has announced that due to the negative publicity that Mexico has been getting lately because of the you-know-what it has decided to cancel Cinco De Mayo this year. The decision has a...
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Funny story: Crime Fighting Baroness Thatcher's Duel Identity Shocker

Crime Fighting Baroness Thatcher's Duel Identity Shocker

Although recently enjoying a true hero's departure the epoch making truth of her amazing split personalitied adventures can now finally be revealed to an awestruck world. Was A Bit Of A 'Special' Child Her exact birth date is lost in the mists...
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Funny story: The Swine Flu 'Free Tacos' Promotion

The Swine Flu 'Free Tacos' Promotion

LAREDO, Texas - The largest Taco Restaurant chain in the United States, Tacos, Tacos, & Mucho More Tacos, has just announced that it will be conducting it biggest promotion in its 59 year franchise history. Restaurant owners Mr. and Mrs. Edmun...
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Funny story: Melissa Rivers: The Tantrum The Celebrity Apprentice Cameras Didn't See

Melissa Rivers: The Tantrum The Celebrity Apprentice Cameras Didn't See

LAS VEGAS - Melissa Rivers, still steaming and fuming from being fired by Donald Trump told a reporter for The Las Vegas Light Beacon about some of the behind the scenes action that the Celebrity Apprentice cameras did not get. The "CA" castoff to...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Wins Right to Secretive Druggin' and Drinkin'

Amy Winehouse Wins Right to Secretive Druggin' and Drinkin'

A British court attended by magistrates with wigs pulled down over their eyes like sheep in wolves clothing has agreed to ban reporters from observing the multiple felonies and desperate druggin' and drinkin' bouts of Amy Winehouse and her imaginary...
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Funny story: Boyle-Cowle Tongue Kiss Caused Swine Flu

Boyle-Cowle Tongue Kiss Caused Swine Flu

Rumours have abounded for weeks that music world twit Simon Cowle was involved with frumpy falsettoed Scot Susan Boyle. Paparazzi have wasted rolls of film and pounds of memory cards trying to capture the curious couple on film with little or no...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton invites Miley Cyrus to a celebrity sleep over

Paris Hilton invites Miley Cyrus to a celebrity sleep over

Following an evening out with Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus was spotted braving the snow all bundled up as she left Paris Hilton's New York City apartment this afternoon after a celibrity sleep over. Dressed in casual garb, Miley did her best to go wi...
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Funny story: H1N1: Mexican Monarch Butterflies blamed for spreading influenza to US

H1N1: Mexican Monarch Butterflies blamed for spreading influenza to US

Tijuana, Mexico - U.S. boarder patrol agents are armed with a new weapon to stop illegal crossing into the United Sates of America from Mexico: butterfly nets. With those nets in hand, boarder agents stand ready not only to stop illegal immigrants, b...
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Funny story: Every Time You Have a Wank Obama Cries!

Every Time You Have a Wank Obama Cries!

Every time, yes, every time you practice self-abuse Obama weeps sad tears of pain. It's as painful to him as a crown of thorns. As hurtful as spikes being driven through his wrists or a spear wound to his side. It's as if you are scourging Obama's back with each desperate indulgence. The harm you are doing is beyond sinfulness, and though Obama's tears can douse the flames of hell, it is you w...
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Funny story: AMWCLU Lawsuit Brought Against Saudi Arabia

AMWCLU Lawsuit Brought Against Saudi Arabia

Washington DC: A lawsuit was filed against Saudi Arabia and all the world's Arab and Muslim states that deny women their rights. The Arab Muslim Women's Civil Liberties Union (AMWCLU) was formed because of the shameful behavior of the United Nations...
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