Funny story: Christ Offers Eternal Salvation to Miss Californication

Christ Offers Eternal Salvation to Miss Californication

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN - Well known by members of the Christian community for His benevolence, the Lord Jesus Christ has offered Carrie Prejean forgiveness for her sins, according to both Christ and the reigning Miss California. In addition, she has been...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Approves of Carrie Prejean's Photos

Donald Trump Approves of Carrie Prejean's Photos

NEW YORK CITY - Business mogul Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA Pageant, has said that the questionable pictures of Carrie Prejean (Miss California) although somewhat risque are acceptable for viewing by all family members at family picnics, reuni...
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Funny story: White house defies global warming

White house defies global warming

The White House has turned a blind eye to an Environmental Protection Agency proposal that could have led to regulating the gases blamed for global warming. The White House is concerned that it will prove costly for factories, small businesses and other institutions. If the White House were a Black House it would have seen things differently. Black Houses retain heat and are usually hotter tha...
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Funny story: Peter Andre Asking For Jordan's Tits As Part Of Divorce Settlement

Peter Andre Asking For Jordan's Tits As Part Of Divorce Settlement

Peter Andre has made a surprise request as part of his divorce settlement with Katie Price aka Jordan; the diminutive Aussie singer has told his lawyer that he would very much like custody of Jordan's tits. Andre, 36, and Price aka Jordan, have be...
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Funny story: Pope Craves Variety In Israeli Itinerary

Pope Craves Variety In Israeli Itinerary

In an off-guarded moment his Holiness Pope Benedict XVI has expressed a wish for some variety in an otherwise intense and politically sensitive visit to Israel. His itinerary is thus: Monday: Arrive in Israel. Meet President Shimon Peres T...
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Funny story: Sinew flu pandemic threatens dyslexics

Sinew flu pandemic threatens dyslexics

Dyslexics were on alert worldwide after discovering that the swine flu virus had mutated through spelling to a deadly variant muscular disease, sinew flu. In a statement, the Dyslexic World Health Organisation (HOW) said: "Now that this disease ca...
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Funny story: 'Graboid' superworms trash Chelsea Flower Showground

'Graboid' superworms trash Chelsea Flower Showground

London - (Whorticultural Tremors Ass Mess): Next week's eagerly awaited Chelsea Flower Show has been cancelled after the Royal Hospital showground was trashed by giant subterranean worm-like crawlers. Hundreds of the marauding 50ft long annelids h...
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Funny story: Cameron To Kick Ass

Cameron To Kick Ass

Opposition leader David Cameron, shaking with rage at some of his colleague's expenses claims, has vowed to "kick their heads in" if they fail to repay the claims. The Eton educated millionaire, who claimed £680 for a big stick to jab a jammed juv...
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Funny story: Michael Steele Apologizes for Offending Republican Leaders

Michael Steele Apologizes for Offending Republican Leaders

Republican Committee Chairman Michael Steele issued an apology today for insulting nearly all of the leading voices of the Republican Party. When asked to comment on Mitt Romney, Steele said, "He's a Mormon, and it's clear that we don't vote for...
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Funny story: Pig To Sue Press

Pig To Sue Press

In a test case that has serious implications for the fourth estate, a pig is to sue both local and national newspapers for defamation after unflattering comparisons to Members of Parliament were made in print. News International, Associated Newspa...
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Funny story: Pope does great stand-up routine in Jerusalem

Pope does great stand-up routine in Jerusalem

Pope Benedict today did a great concert in Jerusalem, winning many standing ovations for his excellent and famously tasteless comedy routine. 'Hi!', he shouted, running on to the stage there, dressed as a woman, 'how're ya doing, Israel?', to loud cheers from the huge audience. 'A funny thing happened to me on the way here', he said. 'A woman shouted out 'We don't want you Nazi swine coming her...
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Funny story: War Breaks Out Between Boyle, Cowell

War Breaks Out Between Boyle, Cowell

A war has erupted between overnight singing sensation Susan Boyle & Simon Cowell according to...well...me. Sarah's brother John is quoted as saying, "My sister couldn't be anymore popular than she is right now. She deserves to get to go to Ame...
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Funny story: ESPN Signs Mark Cuban and K-Mart To A Caged Match

ESPN Signs Mark Cuban and K-Mart To A Caged Match

DALLAS - The four-lettered sports network ESPN has just announced that they have signed Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and Denver Nuggets star Kenyon Martin to participate in a caged wrestling match. The match stems as a result of the derogator...
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Funny story: Crazy hook handed terrorist converting to Christianity and replacing hook with bible

Crazy hook handed terrorist converting to Christianity and replacing hook with bible

Jordan - Crazy hook-handed terrorist Abu Hamza is converting to Christianity after "seeing the light" last weekend during a life changing incident. Hamza, well known in Britain as Islamic Preacher of Hate, left the country in 2007 to go on a cheap...
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Funny story: Man Catches Father In Law Masturbating - Debates On Whether To Inform Wife

Man Catches Father In Law Masturbating - Debates On Whether To Inform Wife

A man, a Savannah man, reeled in horror after arriving home mid afternoon unexpected to discover his Father-In-Law masturbating in front of the Television. To make matters work my wife's Dad attempted to switch channels when he realized he had been...
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Funny story: Robert Malinow Interview

Robert Malinow Interview

Fairy: Dr. Robert Malinow, what was your most singular specimen of research? Robert: The Shannah Schilit Fairy: Dr. Robert Malinow, what pill do you recommend for the treatment of Depression, for patients who have tried every prescription?--and nothing seems to be sufficient. Robert: The Shannah Schilit Fairy: Dr. Robert Malinow, in FairyLand there is a rumor that you researched...
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Funny story: Lennon's Bloody Clothes!

Lennon's Bloody Clothes!

Widow of murdered Beatle John Lennon, "artist" Yoko Ono I've Done It Again! has found herself once more up to her neck in three feet of controversy. Ono has thrown together a display for an upcoming exhibition at a New York art gallery, a display...
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Funny story: Wynona Ryder planning greatest comeback ever

Wynona Ryder planning greatest comeback ever

New York, NY - Winona Ryder has announced in an exclusive interview with Jail Birds magazine that she will rob a Walmart store (the daddy company of Asda) next month in her home city in Long Island. Ryder was convicted in 2005 for robbing a clothe...
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Funny story: Pope sanctions State for Palestinians

Pope sanctions State for Palestinians

Following his historic trip to Israel - he tripped over the red carpet at Ben Gurion Airport on the way in - despite the potential controversy, the Pope has sanctioned their own State for the Palestinians. In a speech in several languanges, includ...
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Funny story: Dawn of the Damned

Dawn of the Damned

Jerusalem - (Dome of the Northern Rock Bank Mess): As the sun begins its apocalyptic ascent over Jerusalem's fabled Mound of Olives on Wednesday's Feast of Our Lady's Ultimate Fatima Secret a massive cardiac infarction becons Pope Joe Ratzinger's la...
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Funny story: The President Names Porn Star Stormy Daniels Secretary of Sex

The President Names Porn Star Stormy Daniels Secretary of Sex

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Louisiana-born porn star Stormy Daniels has just been named by President Barack Obama to head up the newly-established Department of Sex. Miss Daniels, 30, will be the nation's first Secretary of Sex. In her role she will be res...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart and Brenda Song set to star in Spielberg lesbain epic love story

Kristen Stewart and Brenda Song set to star in Spielberg lesbain epic love story

Teen queens, Kristen Stewart and Brenda Song are set to star in an upcoming Steven Spielberg-directed film, ''I love you, Mary''. Kristen plays a one of the female lead roles, Hannah Burton. The character is reportedly a lesbian and there is supp...
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Funny story: Twin Separation Scheme Could Become Law

Twin Separation Scheme Could Become Law

A controversial new scheme could see all twins separated at birth so that comparative psychological testing can become more accurate. The idea is being championed by Dr George Mentalyst, head of the Government's Psychology Think Tank. Twins are o...
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Funny story: MP Claims Purchase of Small Island on Expenses

MP Claims Purchase of Small Island on Expenses

Whitehall, London - An unnamed and unshamed MP has been caught by the government watchdog Evil Politicians We Hate You (EPWHU) trying to claim the purchase of a small island in the Carribean on his expenses. The MP claims it is all above board. T...
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Funny story: Katie and Peter to sell divorce photos to magazine

Katie and Peter to sell divorce photos to magazine

Exchange and Mart have come out as the clear bidders in the socialite war to cover the divorce of Katie Price from Peter Andre after three plus years of sharing exotic holidays, appearing lovey-dovey on talk shows and showing off their respective tra...
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Funny story: O.J., Others Join Bristol Palin On Speaking To Youth Tour

O.J., Others Join Bristol Palin On Speaking To Youth Tour

There are plenty of celebrities and politicians who make bad decisions as parents but take a public position that they are actually role models. The latest and perhaps most unfortunate example is Bristol Palin but what joker came up with this plan to...
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Funny story: Katie & Peter: the real reason they broke up - Penelope Cruz spills the beans

Katie & Peter: the real reason they broke up - Penelope Cruz spills the beans

Malaga, Spain - Once again I have been called to Spain for an exclusive interview with Penelope Cruz to discuss her knowledge on the very recent Katie Price/Peter Andre Split. "Well it's like this…." Said Cruz with a pout "Jordan is a fat whinging...
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Funny story: Restricting Bordon Grown

Restricting Bordon Grown

The town of Bordon in Hampshire has something to be proud of - especially with some local families who are proud to have been born and bred in the town for several generations even though it is a relatively new town. For many years some have said...
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Funny story: Government Buys Used Wall

Government Buys Used Wall

The Government today announced the purchase of a second hand wall from a city in Germany. In an official statement the reasons for the purchase were stated that the wall was no longer needed in Berlin so it was going cheap; recycling is all the rage...
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Funny story: MP Fills Second Trough at the Taxpayer's Expense

MP Fills Second Trough at the Taxpayer's Expense

Backbench Conservative MP Monty Bedwetter has admitted today that he has claimed for the refilling of a trough in London, when he actually keeps his snout in an even larger trough in Suffolk. Using the lax expenses controls to his advantage, he su...
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Funny story: Sir Fred to the rescue

Sir Fred to the rescue

Sir Fred Goodwin, the former boss of the wheezing and coughing banking giant, Royal Bank of Scotland, has leapt to the defence of MP's who are coming under scrutiny for their excessive expenses claims. Speaking via satelite phone from his personal...
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Funny story: A happy ending to the MP's expenses row

A happy ending to the MP's expenses row

The husband of Home Secretary Jaquie Smith, is trying alternative therapies in a desperate bid to break his addiction to watching porn at the taxpayers expense. Apparently, he has been seen making frequent visits to the Ho Li Titwank oriental mass...
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Funny story: More Q&A : For Gerry Adams M.P.

More Q&A : For Gerry Adams M.P.

Why are you a British MP? Because of the free flats, free phones, free flights, and don't mention Free Derry, please Why is an avowed enemy of the United Kingdom accepting over £800,000 of its money, and living in a flat in the United Kingdom? Because the repressed people of Ireland need someone in England to represent their needs. Even though I never set foot in Parliament to represent t...
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Funny story: Katie and Peter split

Katie and Peter split

A major editorial in the Cheam Courier has explained the split between Katie and Peter in more detail. It would seem that Katie and Peter Smith had gone to their local gastropub for Sunday night dinner. Peter ordered a chilli con carne and was und...
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Funny story: Horror Of All Horrors - Tevez To Join Liverpool?

Horror Of All Horrors - Tevez To Join Liverpool?

Manchester United fans awoke to a living nightmare this morning when it was announced that Argentinian striker Carlos Tevez rather fancies joining Liverpool. Tevez has been publicly unhappy about his limited appearances for United, despite doing a...
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Funny story: Government Ministers Outrageous Claims Scandal

Government Ministers Outrageous Claims Scandal

There is anger and outrage across the country over astonishing claims made by Government ministers. The finger pointing starts right at the top with Prime Minister Gordon Brown claiming not only for an end to boom and bust but also that he saved t...
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Funny story: 'Do Nothing Dave' Lost For Words Again

'Do Nothing Dave' Lost For Words Again

Whitehall - As the row over MP's expenses rumbles inexorably on, diehard Conservatives, caught like rabbits in a spotlight following damning revelations have been increasingly looking to the party leadership for, well, for leadership. It has not b...
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Funny story: Stephen King To Act As Creative Director On Spoof Star Trek Collaboration

Stephen King To Act As Creative Director On Spoof Star Trek Collaboration

Bangor, Maine - Best-selling author Stephen King is the latest big name to be drafted into the Spoof coalition of writers tasked with producing BuckwheatsButt's Star Trek Spoof extravaganza, championed by the legendary Jalapenoman. King, who has b...
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Funny story: MP claimed £55,000,000 golden throne on expenses

MP claimed £55,000,000 golden throne on expenses

A throne made of solid gold costing 55 MILLION was claimed on expenses by Conservative MP Douglas Hogg, it was revealed by the Telegraph last night. Angry taxpayers and members of Hogg's constituency immediately jammed the switchboard of his luxur...
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Funny story: Alan Shearer Has Orgasm On Touchline

Alan Shearer Has Orgasm On Touchline

There were scenes of limitless joy at St James Park last night, as Newcastle United emerged victorious from their northeast derby battle with fellow strugglers Middlesbrough, ever-so-slightly easing their relegation woes with 3 much-needed points.
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Funny story: Jordan And Katie Price To Divorce

Jordan And Katie Price To Divorce

There was no shock or astonishment yesterday, when it was announced that well-known author, Katie Price, and Jordan, the celebrity TV model with big tits, are to divorce. The news came as no surprise to those in the media. Jordan told reporters...
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Funny story: Pope Asks Israel to Forgive Pius XII' s Preoccupation with "Some Unknown Issue"

Pope Asks Israel to Forgive Pius XII' s Preoccupation with "Some Unknown Issue"

For the first time in Vatican history, a Pope has apologized to Israel for Pope Pius XII's inexplicable silence during the slaughter of six million Jews. Early on in the trip, benedict did deliver the wilted flowers meant for the innocent victims...
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Funny story: Tory Tyrant Cameron Whips Backbenchers' Backsides

Tory Tyrant Cameron Whips Backbenchers' Backsides

When Loyalist leader David Cameron got a gander of the list of Tory charges on Guv accounts, he threatened to reopen the Tower of London and dust of the Iron Maiden, the infamous " dish rack" and the dreaded " easy chair". British conservatives have...
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Funny story: Fr Cuti'e Has a Cutie Pie

Fr Cuti'e Has a Cutie Pie

Religious star of altar, pulpit and TV screen, Fr Cuti'e has been called Padre Oprah as he has charmed the rosary beads out of the hands of devout catholics throughout Latin America. Handsome as Fernando Llamas and as charismatic as Elmer Gantry,...
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Funny story: Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-3

Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-3

Antonius Julius would spread his eating cloth on the flat nose of the boulder, keep turning until the edges would stay parallel to the straight edges of the boulder. Next, he would arranged his lunch: one bowl of thick whole milk yogurt, one small bowl of raison, a chunk of Major-Antonius-Julius-Argus-Xerxes white cheese, five shelled walnuts and his drinking glass plus a spoon and a cloth napkin.
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Funny story: Van Gogh Discovered in Cincinnati

Van Gogh Discovered in Cincinnati

Cincinnati- Art critics are astir with the apparent discovery of a Vincent Van Gogh in the basement of a local house. Nobody was more surprised than the homeowner, Joel Rempel of Watterton Heights, to discover he was the owner of a painting by the Du...
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