Funny story: IRA Terrorist Group Shaft Police

IRA Terrorist Group Shaft Police

In Northern Ireland, the real IRA are commencing a strategic array of fatal surgical strikes. The defecation of the the once proud Irish Police Burger is now the primary focus of this terrorist group. The policeman's burger was bummed. A youth ca...
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Funny story: Lohans Va-Jay-Jay breaks silence

Lohans Va-Jay-Jay breaks silence

(West Hollywood): Long missing from the tabloids, La-Lohan's vagina is ready to mount a comeback. Kitty - formerly known as fire crotch - wants to prove she is ready to work. Often seen at night club openings and dining hot-spots, the troubled st...
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Funny story: Hell, all this stimulation is screwing over the country Bank of England Governor tells Brown

Hell, all this stimulation is screwing over the country Bank of England Governor tells Brown

London - (Fiscal Ass Mess): Bank of England governor Mervyn King warned today that even if the printing presses keep churning out tens of billions in brand new fifty quid notes 24/7 for the next 10 years the country is so screwed over that the word b...
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Funny story: Sudoku Man Dies After Failing To Complete Fiendishly Difficult Puzzle

Sudoku Man Dies After Failing To Complete Fiendishly Difficult Puzzle

News just in from Japan about a man who has died attempting to complete a Sudoku grid, highlights the determination and intensity with which the people in that part of the world endeavour to play the tricky number puzzle game. Tushuro Hakamoto, a...
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Funny story: Fist and foot in mouth Jade to be celebrated; Full English to be followed by some hard core Swedish

Fist and foot in mouth Jade to be celebrated; Full English to be followed by some hard core Swedish

To Ongar in Essex where a cloud of melancholy hangs over the town following the premature death of its most celebrated resident, Jade Goody. The Essex horizon, normally obscured by the smoke from burning tyres, schools, mattresses or abandoned ve...
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Funny story: Men like coffee more than girls!

Men like coffee more than girls!

… You can make coffee as sweet as you desire. … A cup of coffee always looks good. … Coffee smells good. … Coffee tastes good. … Coffee doesn't take up half your bed. … You can have a good conversation with coffee. … You can have coffee anywhere, anytime, and not get arrested. … You can have as many coffees as you desire. … Coffee doesn't care what you look like.
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Funny story: Boy George Forms A Prison Band

Boy George Forms A Prison Band

LONDON - George Alan O'Dowd, better known as Boy George, lead singer of the 80's band Culture Club has reportedly formed a prison band. O'Dowd is serving a 15 month prison sentence at London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes for reportedly handcuff...
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Funny story: Tom's Cruise Blooming Awful Says Critic

Tom's Cruise Blooming Awful Says Critic

One of the World's top movie critics has blasted Tom's cruise - using harsh words such as 'boring', 'weird' and 'simply awful' - definitely NO thumbs up! Roger Ebert, who has the easiest job in the world, told family and friends that his next door...
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Funny story: Dwain Chambers in new drug enhancement suspicion

Dwain Chambers in new drug enhancement suspicion

Disgraced sprinter Dwain Chambers was at the centre of a storm when it was revealed he had been caught speeding. "It wasn't the fact he was 10 miles an hour over the 30 mph limit that aroused suspicion, it was the fact he was on foot at the time."...
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Funny story: Jade Goody biopic planned

Jade Goody biopic planned

Renee Zelwegger has been chosen to play Jade Goody in the upcoming Hollywood feature. "I'll be able to use my Bridgit Jones accent again although I will have to Dick Van Dyke it up a lot." said miss Zellwegger. Madonna will be playing Jade's moth...
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Funny story: George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Vagina - Brad Pitt Doesen't Give A Toss

George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Vagina - Brad Pitt Doesen't Give A Toss

Actor Brad Pitt is said to be 'not bothered' after catching best friend and heterosexual actor George Clooney stroking his wife's vagina when he returned home early from filming his latest movie. Clooney, who is a frequent visitor to the home of J...
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Funny story: Fritzl monument to be erected

Fritzl monument to be erected

The small township of Amstetten, Austria, have revealed plans to erect a small statue dedicated to the infamous Joseph Frizl What the local council, led by Mr. Hans Pedo Pfile, declined to mention was it would be constructed entirely out of used t...
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Funny story: English women to replace men in their national football team

English women to replace men in their national football team

The FA today announced that women were to replace its men as players in the national team. 'Well', FA chief Donald Duckov said, 'when we've been reduced to playing people like John 'Buster Keaton' Terry and David 'Can only take free kicks' Beckham...
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Funny story: Brad Pitts Pilots Pineapple-Shaped UFO

Brad Pitts Pilots Pineapple-Shaped UFO

Cape Canaveral FL-- NASA officials were alerted today about a bizarre UFO sighting on a beach adjacent to this historic launching site. A giant "pineapple shaped" UFO was observed buzzing along the beach by dozens of startled onlookers. To make th...
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Funny story: Golden Balls

Golden Balls

All over the UK there is one type of establishment that is bucking the trend and expanding fast. Pawnbrokers are spreading rapidly and as the recession bites, they are becoming the preferred way for thousands of people to raise much needed cash. Some of the success is due to the change in the public's perception of Pawnbrokers. A few years ago, Pawnbrokers were seen as unscrupulous places whic...
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Funny story: Police Hunt Cold Cure Criminals

Police Hunt Cold Cure Criminals

Following the story this week regarding the Fishermen's Friend robbery, and the excellent coverage afforded on this site, more details are emerging regarding the group thought to be responsible. Rather than the confectionery thieves first considered...
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Funny story: Hoodwinked A.I.G. Bonus

Hoodwinked A.I.G. Bonus

A.I.G. executives received bonuses after threatening the nation's economy. Hello? Even the Queen of Hearts must be scratching her head. Since when is incompetence rewarded with a bonus? Short answer: When the incompetents guard the hen house, the pig...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse To Portray Ann Coulter

Amy Winehouse To Portray Ann Coulter

HOLLYWOOD - Producers of the Warner Brothers motion picture Ann Coulter - The Wicked Witch of The Yeast have signed Amy Winehouse to play the lead. They said that the resemblance is amazing. Both women are 6 foot 3, both weigh 87 pounds, and neit...
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Funny story: Theo Walcott Banned!

Theo Walcott Banned!

Theo Walcott has been banned for life from playing football, even for his home town team, after he proved positive for actually being a whippet. The Arsenal player, who plays unders Terry Henry's old number, is in fact a rare form of whippet. This...
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Funny story: The news celebrates its 100th birthday

The news celebrates its 100th birthday

News has been around for a very long time. Prior to the colonisation of the American continent by Europeans, the phenomena of News was know simply as "Sss" but in keeping with their standard renaming policies the early settlers changed the term to "N...
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Funny story: 'Scotland doesn't rule England, honest!', Brown's ridiculous claim

'Scotland doesn't rule England, honest!', Brown's ridiculous claim

Prime Minister Gordon Brown today made the ridiculous claim that England is not ruled by Scotland. 'It's ruled by Pakistan and Brussels! Sorry, only joking. No, England is ruled by the English, honestly, it is. When English football fans stopped f...
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Funny story: Small Woodland Creatures On Ice

Small Woodland Creatures On Ice

Hard to credit it now, I know, but that first pilot of what became Small Woodland Creatures On Ice did point the way to the future of television. In an age when even the most sautéed couch potato was growing weary of the vainglorious and talentles...
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Funny story: Comments From Andy Rudey

Comments From Andy Rudey

What is it these days with people serving you at restaurants or at a grocery deli putting on rubber gloves? It's like they're going to have to operate on the chicken you ordered before they serve it to you. It always makes me apprehensive. What if, say, the night before two people were in the back room or kitchen secretly about to have sex and the woman suddenly says, "I won't do it unless...
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Funny story: Prosecutor Calls Phil Spector "Demonic Maniac"

Prosecutor Calls Phil Spector "Demonic Maniac"

A prosecutor told a jury that Phil Spector's history of violence against women was like a game of Russian roulette that ended with the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson at his hilltop mansion, her remarks bringing forth a grimace and long forke...
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Funny story: Barack Obama makes speech on American rescue plan

Barack Obama makes speech on American rescue plan

Here is the President's speech, made at the Alhambra Lincoln roadhouse in Washington DC: 'I have a dream, brothers and sisters, and Klansmen, I have - uhm mmm, baby - a dream that one day Bushes and Obamas can stand together, and make phoney speeches about things they know nothing about. I have a dream!' And as an old lady burst into applause at this, he continued in a Messianic Luther King...
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Funny story: Woolworths to open again!

Woolworths to open again!

After a dramatic turn of fate Woolies is to re-open. William Woolworth, the last of the Woolworths is to start over selling what Woolworths was famous for, wool. In recent times, with help of the recession, wool sales are on the rise. 'People love to...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan: "It Would Be Nice If People Knew The Real Me..Me Too

Lindsay Lohan: "It Would Be Nice If People Knew The Real Me..Me Too

From all appearances, all that time in the unsolicited spotlight hasn't left Lindsay Lohan unscathed. The frequently hounded star has spoken out exclusively to a whole group of reporters that follow her everywhere she goes! News, relaying that...
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Funny story: David Letterman Finally Gets Maried

David Letterman Finally Gets Maried

David Letterman said he and long long long longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko had a bumpy trip to matrimony last week, last year, last 23 years in fact. During a taping Monday of CBS' "Late Show," Letterman said he and Lasko married March 19 at the...
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Funny story: England To Set Up Border Fences And Patrols To Stop Immigrants From Scotland Reaching London To Beg

England To Set Up Border Fences And Patrols To Stop Immigrants From Scotland Reaching London To Beg

The UK Government has announced plans to set up a border fence to run parallel with the ancient Roman wall built by Adrian Mole and have armed border guards to patrol it to deter illegal Scottish Immigrants reaching London Tube Stations. "Everyday...
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Funny story: UK Terror Threat Rises

UK Terror Threat Rises

The threat to the UK from terrorist groups has increased, according to a new report on counter-terrorism published today. The report said that it had become easier than ever before for such groups to create a "dirty bomb" which could cause widespr...
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Funny story: Sleeper agent discovered under bridge

Sleeper agent discovered under bridge

LOS ANGELES -- Federal prosecutors have charged alleged El Quattro sleeper agent Jimenez Villalobo with lying on official documents and to an FBI agent, failing to register with the Justice Department as a foreign agent and engaging in money launderi...
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Funny story: Charles' Margaret Thatcher Infirmary opening coronary for tragic reality monarchy queen

Charles' Margaret Thatcher Infirmary opening coronary for tragic reality monarchy queen

London - (Sordid Tories' Ass Mess): "We found her puking her guts out and writhing in excruciating agony on the throne room floor," a Palace flunkey told reporters following the news that the Queen had had a severe reaction to Prince Charles' offici...
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Funny story: Fritzl in cheeky lawyer request

Fritzl in cheeky lawyer request

It has been revealed today that evil Austrian All-Rounder Jo Fritzl attempted to get representation by a British semi-professional legal company due to their 'No Win; No Fee' policy. CEO Fathima Clalve explained, "We received a phone call from a...
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Funny story: Rescue plan for hostages slowly coming to fruition

Rescue plan for hostages slowly coming to fruition

Relief of the 1500 Greenodd residents held hostage by Somali pirates in Mogadishu is materialising day by day. Superintendent Harry "snapper" Organs of Q Division is in charge of forming ideas and coming up with suitable remedies to the ongoing crisi...
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Funny story: War Hero Beaten by Teenage Gang

War Hero Beaten by Teenage Gang

A war hero was in shock last night as he was beaten by a gang of hoodie clad teenagers in the UK's final of 'Antiques Roadshow - Name your price'. The one off charity special gave the contestants the chance to guess the value of the objects on displa...
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Funny story: Nation's Toxic Assets to be Stored at Nuclear Waste Facility

Nation's Toxic Assets to be Stored at Nuclear Waste Facility

President Obama announced today that the nation's toxic assets will be stored at Yucca Mountain Repository, to remain undisturbed for tens of thousand of years. "It is hoped," Obama said, "That by that time somebody will have developed the ways and m...
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Funny story: First Dog/Human Face Transplant Performed

First Dog/Human Face Transplant Performed

(Port Charles NY) Doctors at General Hospital performed the world's first dog to human face transplant yesterday. The patient's name is Michelle Critter and she is said to be resting comfortably. Ms. Critter now has the face of a pit bull and she...
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Funny story: Fungal disease team beat India to win the second test.

Fungal disease team beat India to win the second test.

A major talking point ahead of the second Test between New Zealand and India has been the launch of new fungal team, NZ prepare to launch against India. The pitch for the match starting on Thursday emerged as a potential concern when New Zealand C...
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Funny story: Is coffee better than women? We explain why!

Is coffee better than women? We explain why!

1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good. 2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it. 3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 5. You can always warm coffee up. 6. Coffee comes with endless refills. 7. Coffee is cheaper. 8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 9. Coffee never run...
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Funny story: Women In Tech: Ada Lovelace Day

Women In Tech: Ada Lovelace Day

So apparently today is Ada Lovelace Day, when we should "publish a blog post on Tuesday 24th March about a woman in technology whom we admire". This is, of course, something I'm happy to do - many women have driven the advancement of technology over the years. So, in the spirit of the event, I'd like to dedicate this post to a woman who, I feel, contributed significantly to the development of t...
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Funny story: IPL vs IPL

IPL vs IPL

Stake Holders: Indian Politician, BCCI, Cricket South Africa, ECB Recent event folding between Indian Politician League and Indian Premiere League is turning out to be an embarrassment for the entire 1.1 billion population if the news source are to be believed. Anyhow the match is going on and I am bring you some of the live commentary of this game directly to your computer no matter where...
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Funny story: The Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Got Married

The Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Got Married

CHOTEAU, Montana - The 61-year-old host of The Late Show with David Letterman has married his longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko, 48. The newlyweds exchanged vows on March 19, at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, a small town of about 1,700 residents northwest of Great Falls. Choteau is noted for three things, nothing, nothing, and nothing. Last November someone stole the to...
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Funny story: A Rebuttal to "Jade Goody"

A Rebuttal to "Jade Goody"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody. Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody, Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody - Jade Goody Jade Goody Jad...
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Funny story: Raspberry Sherbert's Photo of Albino Asshole Wins Picture of the Year

Raspberry Sherbert's Photo of Albino Asshole Wins Picture of the Year

Great novelist and recent renowned corpse Kurt Vonnegut became famous for comparing blood on snow to raspberry sherbert. Now his bastard son by one of the many cartoon figures from the Saturday morning animation, Strawberry shortcake, Raspberry Sherb...
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Funny story: Strip Searches of 13 year olds Incorporated in No Child Left Behind

Strip Searches of 13 year olds Incorporated in No Child Left Behind

In the final days of the Bush- Whips-Cheney administration, a school regulation allowing the strip search of 13 year olds was wriiten into the NCLB law. Administration lawyers just before they would be unemployed and looking for jobs as deplorers of...
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Funny story: 'Morning-After-Bush-is-No-Longer-President Pill' Sweeps the Nation

'Morning-After-Bush-is-No-Longer-President Pill' Sweeps the Nation

A federal judge has decided that the Morning After Bush is No longer president pill (RNTUHAP) should be released to the world wide public. The medicinal formula developed by Less & Less Murkier allows, when taken properly, a clear perspective...
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Funny story: Below Decks - An Aside - The Cook's Reflections

Below Decks - An Aside - The Cook's Reflections

The ship's cook, that mangy scurvy seadog Skoob, slumped over the table, head in hands, looking terribly disturbed, which in truth was not an unfamiliar situation for him. Having battled with the French, navigated the red mist, turned out the most excellent leg of man (with Leeds United tattoos on the skin) Skoob was feeling rather like a man defeated. Upon entering the galley, Bosun McCarth...
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Funny story: Legal Age Of Smoking And Drinking To Be Lowered To Help Stimulate Economy

Legal Age Of Smoking And Drinking To Be Lowered To Help Stimulate Economy

The Government have voted unanimously to lower the age of drinking and smoking to 14 in a bid to aid the ailing economy. Gordon Brown is expected to announce the new measures on Wednesday. A spokesman said "It is a great idea - the more kids we...
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Funny story: President Obama - an equal opportunity offender!

President Obama - an equal opportunity offender!

Los Angeles, CA - President Barack Obama offended many Americans the other night when speaking 'off the cuff' to 'Tonight Show' host, Jay Leno. When asked how he looked while bowling at the White House, the President stated, "It looks like the Speci...
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Funny story: Pirate Ship Runs Aground - Spielberg In A Blue Funk

Pirate Ship Runs Aground - Spielberg In A Blue Funk

Panic ensued today in Hollywoodland as rumours that the much vaunted TheSpoof.com magazine section story, 'Below Decks' was reputed to have run aground. Executive Producer/Director Matt Spielberg was reportedly in 'a blue funk', according to the w...
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Funny story: Japan Bombs United States! (again...)

Japan Bombs United States! (again...)

USA - Yesterday, March 22nd, 2009. A date which will live in infamy! The United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the baseball forces of the Empire of Japan. The United States was at peace with that nation, and, at the...
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Funny story: Are Manchester United In Meltdown Mode?

Are Manchester United In Meltdown Mode?

Following Manchester United's second defeat in a week, and Liverpool's triumphant resurgence, scoring four against Real Madrid, four at Old Trafford against United, and five at Anfield against Aston Villa, pundits have been asking the question: Ar...
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Funny story: Goody stuffed in Unnatural Hystery Museum expo

Goody stuffed in Unnatural Hystery Museum expo

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Jade Goody is to be stuffed in a new cryptozoology exhibition at London's Unnatural Hystery Museum. The legendary self-publicist's post-taxidermy body will form part of a spectacle of creatures from myths, lege...
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