Funny story: Is This Going To Be Goody Friday?

Is This Going To Be Goody Friday?

Fans of the former reality TV star Jade Goody have been clutching their radios and mobile phones close to their ears all day today, eager for news on the rapid demise of their heroine - that's heroine not heroin, you idiots! - and to see if she's man...
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Funny story: Arsenal Lifted By Fabregas Return

Arsenal Lifted By Fabregas Return

Arsenal have received a massive boost with the return to training of their captain Cesc Fabregas after a serious spitting injury. The Spanish midfielder has been out of action since rupturing his tonsils when clearing his throat gainst Liverpool...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins to star in biopic of Joseph Fritzl

Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins to star in biopic of Joseph Fritzl

MAIM executives in Hollywood today announced they were putting a biopic of the life and crimes of Austrian Joseph Fritzl into production, and that it would star Tom Cruise and Anthony Hopkins. In true Hollywood tradition it will be entirely accura...
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Funny story: BBC Cut Backs Hit Dr Who

BBC Cut Backs Hit Dr Who

The BBC has announced numerous cut backs as the recession bites. The popular sci fi series Dr Who has been radically overhauled - starting with the Tardis. The Doctor was famed for his Police Box time and space traveling machine. However, the prog...
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Funny story: Goodies Terminally Ill

Goodies Terminally Ill

The Goodies are terminally ill and are very near the end. Their sickness first came to light when they released "A Man's Best Friend Is His Duck". They were never to recover. Graham Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie have gradually wasted aw...
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Funny story: Another Austrian Nazi Story

Another Austrian Nazi Story

The US has deported to Austria a former SS man it says was involved in the Nazi killing of more than 8,000 Jews, shot in a single day and buried in pits. Nasty bastard. Josias Kumpf, 83, moved to the US from Austria in 1956, settling in Wisconsin...
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Funny story: Bush Memoirs In Full

Bush Memoirs In Full

We have managed to get an exclusive look at the soon to be published memoirs of George W Bush. He has decided to publish details of all the decisions he took himself during his time in office. And here they are. Bush has signed a deal for an undisclosed sum, but it is believed to be substantially more than the numbers of brain cells he has. So that's £3...
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Funny story: Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Cellar

Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Cellar

Austrian Josef Fritzl, who kept his daughter in a cellar for 24 years, and fathered her seven children, has been convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment in a cellar! Fritzl, 73, was found guilty of all charges against him, including rape, in...
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Funny story: Boogertown Grandma Fills Family With Lotsa Love & E.coli

Boogertown Grandma Fills Family With Lotsa Love & E.coli

Edith "Grammas" Snotgrass makes a Booger County Catfish Festival-award winning vanilla custard pie, but she won't be receiving any awards for kitchen sanitation. The 72-year-old grandmother of twelve cooked a birthday brunch on Sunday for her thr...
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Funny story: Mysterious Attack On White House; One Held

Mysterious Attack On White House; One Held

A man is helping Washington police following an attack on the White House. It is believed that a baseball was thrown through a window late last night. Security forces were quick to respond and an arrest was made. The individual was led away talking g...
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Funny story: Spanish Robo-Fish To Target British Holidaymakers

Spanish Robo-Fish To Target British Holidaymakers

It was announced today that in an attempt to cut pollution on the Spanish coast during the Summer holiday season, scientists will release robot fish which are capable of tracking down excrement from British tourists. Modelled on carp and costing...
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Funny story: African Child Witches: The Heartrending Scandal

African Child Witches: The Heartrending Scandal

Bountifully, Africa has given much to the world of journalism: AIDS, Ebola, drugs, rape, child abuse, famine, blood diamonds, genocide, Apartheid, governmental corruption and now thankfully...WITCHCRAFT Over the past few years I've heard many the occasional vague rumour of heartrending stories possibly involving children, as young as 2 hrs old being labeled as 'witches', 'wizards' and 'warlock...
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Funny story: British Army: Ill Equipped For Action

British Army: Ill Equipped For Action

Soldiers in the British army are having their lives put at risk in order to save a few quid. In a report that will shame this government, experts say that unless large sums of money are spent on the armed forces we will witness scores of unnecessary...
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Funny story: Jade Goody's condition "still" dying

Jade Goody's condition "still" dying

The nation was gripped last night at the news that Jade Goody is "still" dying of Terminal Cancer. The Reality TV star and stunt double for everyone's favourite television porker "Babe" was engaged in a particularly scandalous orgy with several m...
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Funny story: It's Geoff Boycott's Corridor of Uncertainty IV

It's Geoff Boycott's Corridor of Uncertainty IV

We have had a letter from a reader. And it's a corker Dear Mister Boycott I hope you can help me, I am a big fan even though my Dad says you were quite slow and boring. I am in the Under-15s and wearing a box when I'm batting is now starting to hurt. I get quite sore and swollen and when Mrs Prior was umpiring last week I became faint and had to be retired hurt. Should I stop wearing a...
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Funny story: Lenny Kravitz wins childrens' award

Lenny Kravitz wins childrens' award

Lenny Kravitz is a singer/songwriter who has had many hits over the years, which are notable for their unique guitar playing and imbecilic lyrics. In fact because of his guitar style and black skin, he has often been compared to Jimi Hendrix. But rec...
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Funny story: "Virus rights" bombers jailed

"Virus rights" bombers jailed

Three activists were today jailed for the firebombing of a research facility in Cambridge which specialised in looking for a cure for AIDS. The activists were members of "Viruses, Infections And Germs' Rights Association" (VIAGRA), which is running a...
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Funny story: Darling "Will Never Recover" Doctors Say

Darling "Will Never Recover" Doctors Say

Doctors treating Alistair Darling said today that they feared he will never recover. He is already in the advanced stages of Bullshitisimus and there appears to be no hope. Dr Andi Medix, of the Dennis Healey Foundation For Economic Crackpots said...
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Funny story: Beyond Your Ken

Beyond Your Ken

My Transcendant Wholistic Anti-Dualistic Dharmic Law of Everything, which I refer to by the acronym, A.B.A.T., is beyond your ken. How could it not be, since it is Dharmically-Revealed, Integral Virtually Everything Law - the product of an Integrally-Developed, Integrally-Overarching Theorist? I came to the A.B.A.T. only after many, many years of deep meditation, studying at the feet of hund...
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Funny story: Pacific Volcanic Eruption Narrowly Misses Spoof Pirate Ship

Pacific Volcanic Eruption Narrowly Misses Spoof Pirate Ship

A bit of a mad volcanic eruption out there somewhere in the Pacific ocean was believed to have only missed the Spoof ship, HMS Buggerall by a matter of inches. There is reportedly no cause for concern, since Earl Grey has finally submitted his rib...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Arrested Again

Rush Limbaugh Arrested Again

The St Lucie County Sheriffs Department have just confirmed the arrest of right wing celebrity blowhard Rush Limbaugh. It's been revealed that Mr. Limbaugh was arrested in a Fort Pierce Walgreens drive thru, in the early hours this morning demandi...
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Funny story: Asterix the Scab

Asterix the Scab

Many, many years ago, all Gaul was ruled by the Strikers. All? Not quite all, for in one tiny part in the north-west lived Asterix the Scab, and his friends and their families, all of whom refused to be told what to do by the Strikers. Taking a swig of magic potion that the local druid Horlix had prepared, to give him the strength to hide behind corners when the Strikers marched past, Asterix s...
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Funny story: Below Decks Chapter 17: A New Arrival

Below Decks Chapter 17: A New Arrival

Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen Recover from the celebrations? Some bloody chance. Earl Grey was in limbo. Somewhere between life and death. His head belonged to so...
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Funny story: Dev Patel, Is Sharon Stone Still Chasing Him?

Dev Patel, Is Sharon Stone Still Chasing Him?

Sharon Stone's latest "Innocent" victim is 18-year-old, Slumdog Millionaire star Dev Patel, say insiders, who first brought it to attention of reporters in February. According to Patel's text messages to friends, the "older woman" came on to him a...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Discredited By Richard Head

Spoof Writer Discredited By Richard Head

Not one, but three notable thespoof.com writers were today attacked and discredited by 'so far up my own arse it's unbelievable' Spoof writer, mucky duck, who was named after a disreputable pub in Portsmouth, Hampshire, just down the road from Portsm...
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Funny story: Meh wins 'Expression of Nonchalance' award for second year

Meh wins 'Expression of Nonchalance' award for second year

In a hard fought battle, the word Meh has just pipped a silent shrug to the title of Expession of Nonchalance 2009. Meh has been a favourite for the title since it easily beat the previous titleholder Whatever in 2007. At the awards held in Londo...
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Funny story: Natasha Richardson? She looked an awful lot like Kim Cattrall say fans

Natasha Richardson? She looked an awful lot like Kim Cattrall say fans

New York - (RIP Ass Mess): Were they indeed twins, parted at birth, only to re-emerge as umbilical cord siblings following the tragic demise of La Dolce Richardson? That is the uppermost question troubling LA FagHagSlagMag editors this week after...
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Funny story: That Clock Is Slow, Just Like Your Son. By: Neil Gerhard, Dean of Admissions

That Clock Is Slow, Just Like Your Son. By: Neil Gerhard, Dean of Admissions

Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Dawkins, please have a seat. How are you on this lovely day? I take it you are here to discuss the eligibility of your son, Barry, to attend this fine university? I have perused your son's transcripts, along with his essay numerous times, and...you know what I love doing? I love spinning in my chair. Yep. I love spinning in my imported Italian Leather chair and looking aro...
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Funny story: Chinese nuclear submarine crash behind 'Tonga ocean volcano eruption' story

Chinese nuclear submarine crash behind 'Tonga ocean volcano eruption' story

Pacific ocean - (Seismic Fishy Tales Mess): A tense standoff between the US Navy surveillance ship Impeccable and the Chinese fleet's flagship Who Flung Dung nuclear submarine resulted in a massive underwater crash today. Pentagon sources immediat...
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Funny story: Nationwide strike hits France

Nationwide strike hits France

Millions of workers across France were on strike again today, to protest against what one union leader called 'the government taking professional economic advice, and using tried and tested methods to deal with the current situation in France. This m...
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Funny story: Brown & Darling in Another Fine Mess

Brown & Darling in Another Fine Mess

Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling are to feature in a new childrens book which will be distributed to schools throughout Britain and will teach children about good money management. In the book entitled "Another Fine Mess" they assume the characters...
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Funny story: Mass Arrests Follow Web Sting Operation

Mass Arrests Follow Web Sting Operation

An unprecedented 18 million UK residents have been arrested today by Police, following a major sting operation. In a combined covert operation managed by the Labour Party, MI5 and the Serious Organised ThoughtCrime Unit of the Metropolitan Police,...
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Funny story: Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch spoofs London bomb disposal cops

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch spoofs London bomb disposal cops

London - (Holy Ass Mess): A Monty Python & the Holy Grail film prop, left over 30 years ago under a fire hydrant cover in Shoreditch, East London, spoofed London's bomb disposal cops and caused thousands of office workers to be evacuated today.
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Funny story: Fabregas Has Hyperactive Salivary Glands Claims Wenger And Arsenal

Fabregas Has Hyperactive Salivary Glands Claims Wenger And Arsenal

Arsene Wenger and various executive suits at the Arsenal Desperates (Degenerates?) Stadium today issued a statement to the effect that, following accusations that skipper Cesc Fabregas spat at Hull City assistant manager Brian Horton, AND at kraut ca...
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Funny story: Indiana Mother of Three asks President to Stop Talking About Her

Indiana Mother of Three asks President to Stop Talking About Her

An Indiana mother of three who recently lost her job and doesn't know where her rent check will be coming from recently asked the President to stop talking about her. "It's pretty embarrassing" said the woman and added "I know the stimulus pac...
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Funny story: Historian Claims Adam Sandler Was Once Funny

Historian Claims Adam Sandler Was Once Funny

Dr. Marshall Turner from The University of California has made a startling claim that may turn Hollywood upside down. He claims that Adam Sandler actually used to be funny. Dr. Turner, who smokes a pipe, says that through some hard searching,...
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Funny story: Dancing On The Ceiling's Not On Either Warns Doris Johnson

Dancing On The Ceiling's Not On Either Warns Doris Johnson

Hot on the heels of warnings about dancing in the street, London Mayor, Doris Johnson today added this chilling rejoinder: "Dancing is the street is obviously wrong, but dancing on the ceiling is even worse. If you're dancing on the ceiling then f...
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Funny story: Bank Holiday chaos predicted in Government Gnome Coning Fiasco

Bank Holiday chaos predicted in Government Gnome Coning Fiasco

Geoff Hoon the Secretary of State for Transport was forced to apologise to the house this morning after a disastrous mix up in a secret Government laboratory in Croydon. Due to a spelling error by a junior staff member the Human Genome Cloning pro...
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Funny story: Liam Gallagher To Bring Back Shell Suit

Liam Gallagher To Bring Back Shell Suit

One-time rock and roll hard man, Liam Gallagher, has launched his new clothing line 'Pretty Green' because he couldn't find the kind of clothes he likes in the high street. "It's mental man" the mouthy Mancunian told reporters today. "Primark used...
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Funny story: Brian Clough to become Prime Minister

Brian Clough to become Prime Minister

After years of two sycophantic and simpering Labour Prime Ministers, the Queen invited Brian Clough to Buckingham Palace today, to take Gordon Brown's place as Premier. 'By 'eck', he said, after talks with Her Majesty, 'you've got to 'and it to th...
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Funny story: Is LeAnn Rimes Having An Affair?

Is LeAnn Rimes Having An Affair?

Has LeAnn Rimes been caught having an affair with her "Northern Lights"onscreen love interest? That's the shocking allegation made by US Weekly about the country cutie who's accused of falling for her Lifetime TV movie Northern Lights costar Eddie...
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Funny story: Brian Clough Film Re-writes History

Brian Clough Film Re-writes History

The wife of legendary football manager Brian Clough, has hit out at a film of his life, based on a book that she claims is "complete garbage" The film 'The Damned United' appears to make the controversial claim that Clough, whose nickname was "Gob...
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Funny story: Elimination At "American Idol" Now Down To Ten

Elimination At "American Idol" Now Down To Ten

Fans of "American Idol" eliminated Alexis Grace from the show's eighth season on Wednesday night when they cast the fewest votes for the Memphis singer's rendition of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" during the show's country music-themed week. "She just d...
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Funny story: April Fool's Day!

April Fool's Day!

Happy April Fool's Day to all The Spoof! readers Did you notice the tricks we played on you to celebrate April Fool's Day this year? Have a look through the articles on the main pages of TheSpoof.com and I'm sure you will notice that all is not as it first appears. Found the April Fool's stories? They are mixed up with all the others, but you will probably be able to pick them out if you c...
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Funny story: Famous person dies, family "devastated"

Famous person dies, family "devastated"

Today we can sensationally reveal that the family of a famous dead person are devastated at their passing. After literally hours of extensive research (mostly conducted in the business lounge at London's Heathrow Airport waiting for the next service...
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Funny story: Dancing In The Street - It's Not On, Warns Met Police Chief

Dancing In The Street - It's Not On, Warns Met Police Chief

Following an announcement that summer's here and the time is right for dancing in the street, Met Police Chief Arnold Grumble warned potential street dancers: "It does matter what you wear. We will not tolerate shoddy, ill fitting clothing. Just a...
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Funny story: Muhammad's Carpet to be Auctioned

Muhammad's Carpet to be Auctioned

A carpet, purchased 150 years ago to decorate the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad in Media is due to be auctioned today. The carpet, which is largely red and blue and decorated with pearls, was made in the 1860's and was bought by the Prophet's desce...
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Funny story: UK paving slabs in euro madness

UK paving slabs in euro madness

In a move expected to cost £18million, EEC commissioners have announced that all Britain's paving slabs will have to be changed as they are all slightly undersized. The standard European regulation size is 45 x 45 centimetres, and the UK's are 40...
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Funny story: Prime Minister bitten by Snake - Snake dies! Police hunting rare Poisonous Monkey!

Prime Minister bitten by Snake - Snake dies! Police hunting rare Poisonous Monkey!

Prime minister Gordon Brown was last night bitten by a Gaboon Viper and given a Chinese burn on his wrist by a rare poisonous monkey concealed in an Indian takeaway. The takeaway had been ordered by The Chancellor but was mistakenly delivered to N...
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Funny story: Jamie Oliver "Well Up Fer It" With Barack Obama

Jamie Oliver "Well Up Fer It" With Barack Obama

Jamie Oliver is said to be "well up fer it" after Downing Street announced that Gordon Brown is planning to take Barack Obama to his restaurant 15, when he comes to the UK for the G20 Summit. It is thought that security teams visited the restauran...
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Funny story: Kerry Katona "Did Not Start Fire of London"

Kerry Katona "Did Not Start Fire of London"

Fire investigators will be going into a listed building in central London later today, to try to find out what caused a fire in the early hours of this morning. Fire crews were called at around 2am to a blaze in a 15 bedroom 17th century house, cu...
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Funny story: Max to Sue Neeson

Max to Sue Neeson

Tabloid publicist Max Cash has today announced that he is to sue the estate of Natasha Richardson, who tragically died yesterday following a skiing accident. In a statement released through his solicitors Frameup, Chasem & Ambulance, Mr Cash s...
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Funny story: Fossil shows Jesus used condom: Pope in shock

Fossil shows Jesus used condom: Pope in shock

The fossilised remains of Jesus's penis have been examined by scientists at the University of Cock in Sweden. They claim that remnants of sheep stomach cells can clearly be found in the folds of his rather prodigious member. DNA testing proves that t...
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Funny story: IBM to buy Sun

IBM to buy Sun

IBM are said to be in talks regarding a possible purchase of the Sun. The technology company sees the Sun as being essential for all life in the solar system, and therefore of great potential value. Sources suggest that IBM would look to develop...
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