Funny story: BNP Leader Couldn't Fight His Way Out Of A Wet Paper Bag, Claim Opponents.

BNP Leader Couldn't Fight His Way Out Of A Wet Paper Bag, Claim Opponents.

People in the UK are always saying that 'Eggs is eggs' according to popular folklore. But for BNP Leader Nick Gryphon these words turned out to be portentous. Gryphon was pelted with eggs and almost omelettised by outraged protesters in Westminste...
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Funny story: Blair To Return From Political Wilderness, Like Jesus, To Save The World

Blair To Return From Political Wilderness, Like Jesus, To Save The World

"Hang on, I didn't exactly say that," former Prime Minister Tony Blair told a packed room of international journalists. Including us. "I didn't say I was going to return from the political wilderness to lead my people to the promised land. Unlike som...
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Funny story: Katie Price is dating Lindsay Lohan

Katie Price is dating Lindsay Lohan

Katie Price and Peter Andre. Once Britain's favourite celebrity couple, rivaled only by Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Now days,they detest the ground they walk on. Today. 'Crapfest Magazine' can exclusively that Katie Price has found new love with...
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Funny story: Walking Bad For Mental Health

Walking Bad For Mental Health

The worlds leading Psychologists today released a report stating that walking may be bad for your mental health. This shocking 600 page document is based on recent interviews given by former Astronaut Edgar Mitchell. Mitchell was part of the 1971 Apo...
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Funny story: Airlines Given Head

Airlines Given Head

Reminiscent of the rising fuel costs and the seizing of the credit markets in 2008, coupled with the stock market plunge of early 2009, airlines have been faced with many difficult financial issues. The recession that began in early 2008 has clearly...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds, With Heavy Head, Says He & Wife Splitting Up?

Barry Bonds, With Heavy Head, Says He & Wife Splitting Up?

Barry Bonds and his beauty of a wife, Liz Watson, are reportedly splitting up. This is according to several showbiz internet sites and radio sports talk that are reporting that Watson has already filed for a legal separation. Bonds, as every base...
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Funny story: Suicide Watch 911 Therapist Concludes: Probably Better Off!

Suicide Watch 911 Therapist Concludes: Probably Better Off!

The recent suicide/accident of popular actor David Carradine has led to a rash of calls on the Suicide Watch Line and after more than 10,000 calls, responder Doctor James Houchins says "They may be right." "You look around at this country with ten...
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Funny story: N. Korea Threatens Global Warming

N. Korea Threatens Global Warming

Pyongyang N. Korea (FTB newswire) Next month world leaders will gather in Istanbul Turkey for the redundant Global Conference on Global Warming 2009. Notably absent will be Kim Jong Il of North Korea. Jong Il, dictator for life, of the world's newes...
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Funny story: Harry Potter and the Evil Warlock of Downing Street

Harry Potter and the Evil Warlock of Downing Street

As Harry finished his homework for the day, writing an essay about the importance of saving gender awareness whales from being harpooned by sarcastic satirists, the telephone rang, and it was his girlfriend Hermione on the line. 'Come round to my place now, Harry!', she said, 'an evil warlock has been spotted in my garden!', for she lived in Downing Street in Westminster, and soon the pair were...
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Funny story: Schoolboy Jailed for Stealing 'Weed'

Schoolboy Jailed for Stealing 'Weed'

A 7-year-old schoolboy had the 'find of his life' when he discovered no less than a 7-leafed clover. Alexander Burns was skiving from school when he took his dog for a walk with his father, a poacher, on private land adjacent to a nature reserve a...
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Funny story: English failures at major sports highlighted by the shameful defeat of Dutch National Cricket team (who!), whatever next?!

English failures at major sports highlighted by the shameful defeat of Dutch National Cricket team (who!), whatever next?!

A series of catastrophic failures and defeats in a never ending sequence of ineptitude continues to dog British sports, ultimating in a shameful defeat by Holland (who? Do they play cricket anyway?!). Newly appointed Sports Minister Skoob 1999 has...
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Funny story: British people vote with their eggs

British people vote with their eggs

As vile, embarrassing BNP leader Nick Griffin attempted to act as if he is a real political leader, and has anything to do with 99.9% of the British people's views and attitudes, he received that ultimate British political sign of being despised, and...
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Funny story: Doctor's Say Eaten Chicken Nugget Undergoes Very Little Change

Doctor's Say Eaten Chicken Nugget Undergoes Very Little Change

According to a Dr. Perford Fong at MYN University in Rockport, Illinois, the common chicken nugget passes though a person's body with very little change. "After entering through the mouth, past the flapping tongue and going into the esophagus, the...
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Funny story: BNP leader Nick Griffin pelted with eggs outside Parliament

BNP leader Nick Griffin pelted with eggs outside Parliament

London, UK - As the result of a failed cooking show outside parliament featuring chef Jamie Oliver and vegetarian advocate Heather Mills-McCartney, BNP leader Nick Griffin pelted with eggs outside Parliament, having been caught in the crossfire betwe...
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Funny story: Parky remains silent - World is shocked

Parky remains silent - World is shocked

In a change to his normal recent behaviour, outspoken former Chat show host Michael 'Parky' Parkinson has remained silent. Following recent out-bursts about things that should not concern him, the friend of Sting, Katie Melua, Miss Piggy, and Bill...
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Funny story: Geese From Canada Crashed US Airways Flight 1549

Geese From Canada Crashed US Airways Flight 1549

Washington, DC - The office of Homeland Security issues the following directive to states bordering on Canada. FACT: Geese originating from Canada caused the near disaster of flight US Airways 1549. FACT: The border of Canada and the U.S. is po...
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Funny story: Pigs won't fly

Pigs won't fly

The International Air Transport Association, at a highly secret unpublicised public meeting in Upper Kalskag, Alaska, today announced a world-wide policy to protect the public from the dreaded SWINE FLU VIRUS. Speaking at a press conference after...
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Funny story: Professor Moriarty and the Cabinet Murders [continued]

Professor Moriarty and the Cabinet Murders [continued]

As Sherlock Holmes came to in the Musician's' Ward in St. Paddington's hospital, in Darkest Belgravia, he was for a second puzzled about his whereabouts. 'Watson', he said to that doctor, who was examining the chest of a female nurse in the corner of the room, 'stop what you're doing, we need to get back to finding Moriarty.' 'But Holmes', Dr Watson said, as the girl put her blouse back on, 'su...
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Funny story: Five More Planes Land In The Hudson River Over The Weekend

Five More Planes Land In The Hudson River Over The Weekend

After Captain "Sully" Sullenberger's amazing landing in the Hudson River earlier this year, he has been on every news network and several talk shows plus there's even talk of a book and/or movie. Many were afraid that several more pilots would try...
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Funny story: Brown-Sugar spooky Stones lyrics premonition

Brown-Sugar spooky Stones lyrics premonition

London - (Sorcerer's Apprentice Ass Mess): "Yeah, kinda prescient 70s hunch I guess," was Mick Jagger's comment today following the announcement that Sir Alan Sugar had been appointed official government smack dealer to the unruly. "Sure, ya gotta...
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Funny story: Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-6

Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-6

Major decided to get a better feeling of what had actually happened to his poor uncle, so gave the man enough rope to play until the woman said, " Yusef can you teach me wife donkey riding?' Now, Major's adrenaline level reached its peak, but self-controlled himself so that his long awaited plan would not be jeopardized; therefore, he, as calmly as he could, said, "Yes. Let me put on my shoes."...
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Funny story: Milliband Announces Radical New Foreign Policy

Milliband Announces Radical New Foreign Policy

Foreign Secretary David Millipede has announced a radical shakeup of international policy, following a recent conversation with James Naughtie on the 'Today' programme. Announcing the new policy, Mr Millipede said that the new approach signified '...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover New Super-Hard Fabric

Scientists Discover New Super-Hard Fabric

Scientists have manufactured a material which they claim is the hardest substance ever known or created by mankind, according to reports today. Scientists at St Anal's College Oxford created the material, which they believe has significant potenti...
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Funny story: Oil Companies Show True Patriotism By Raising Oil Prices

Oil Companies Show True Patriotism By Raising Oil Prices

U.S. oil companies showed true patriotism this week as they committed to their traditional summertime raising of gas prices at a time of great recession and economic difficulties. As millions struggled with layoffs, high debts, foreclosures and unemp...
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Funny story: Mariah Carey Unafraid to Eat Now That She Found the Secret

Mariah Carey Unafraid to Eat Now That She Found the Secret

Pop star Mariah Carey is bragging about how much she has been ramming down her maw while making her latest album. The soon to be released Full Piehole has inspired Carey to cram her gush with more bulk than she usually puts up her tush. When...
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Funny story: Kung Fu Teaches Grasshopper Auto Erotic Asphixiation

Kung Fu Teaches Grasshopper Auto Erotic Asphixiation

David Carradine as the wise martial arts guru of the old hit show Kung Fu taught his disciple Grasshopper many valuable life lessons about grabbing rounded stones from the palm of the master, defending the innocent and the defenseless with pointy sti...
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Funny story: New Supernatural Reality Show: Who Wants to be the Reincarnation of the Dalai Lama

New Supernatural Reality Show: Who Wants to be the Reincarnation of the Dalai Lama

After Survivor, Big Bother, Millionaire and Dance, Sing, Puke and Shit, most telly critics were predicting that the reality show had run its course. When I'm a celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Preferably in a Limo hired disgraced Illinois Gov Rod Blago...
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Funny story: D-day Renamed During Anniversary Commemoration

D-day Renamed During Anniversary Commemoration

This year on Omaha Beach on the blood blessed shores of Normandy, British, French and American veterans of the D-day invasion gathered to memorialize their fallen comrades. What made this year different was not just the presence of Obama, Sarkozy and...
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Funny story: Dalai Lama Names Successor: Hello Dalai

Dalai Lama Names Successor: Hello Dalai

The world of world religions was shocked by the unorthodox practice of the Dalai Lama appointing his own reincarnation. the revolutionary move appears to have been prompted by the Chinese government's refusal to acknowledge the recognized leader of T...
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