Funny story: Coin marks Gordon Brown anniversary

Coin marks Gordon Brown anniversary

The Royal Mail today issued a limited edition 5p coin, to mark what seems like 500 years since Gordon Brown ascended to Downing Street. A few of the 'coins fit for a cheapskate' feature the flabby figure of the PM, and carry the words 'General Sine S...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan and 'Bikini Girl' To Star In "The Lolitas"

Lindsay Lohan and 'Bikini Girl' To Star In "The Lolitas"

HOLLYWOOD - Clint Eastwood has just announced that he will be directing Lindsay Lohan and Katrina Darrell aka "Bikini Girl" in the Amaretto Monteverdi production of The Lolitas The film is based on the story by Danielle Sweetwater. The original mo...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert Admits He's Dating A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader

Adam Lambert Admits He's Dating A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader

SAN DIEGO - American Idol's call in vote runnerup, but Electoral College vote winner, Adam Lambert confided to TV personality blogger Perez Hilton that he has in fact been secretly dating a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. The beautiful hazel-eyed blon...
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Funny story: Newcastle United Saved by Peter Theo

Newcastle United Saved by Peter Theo

Peter Theo, the legendary footballer from Arsenal, Millwall and Ajax as stepped in to save Newcastle United from Oblivion. Peter Theo, fat, has created a multi pie empire and has reportedly agreed to share his pies with the young and athletic Mike...
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Funny story: Prostrate Pratt could mean Jade Goody sequel, many fear

Prostrate Pratt could mean Jade Goody sequel, many fear

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Reality TV star Heidi Pratt was taken to a Costa Rican hospital Saturday after complaining of an unidentifiable "cancer-like pain." Pratt, current star of "One MTV Hill," was supposed to compete on "You're a Celebrity? Get out...
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Funny story: Stephanie Seymour, Peter Brant's Divorce Turning Really Froggy!

Stephanie Seymour, Peter Brant's Divorce Turning Really Froggy!

Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant's divorce is getting really ugly a close friend has reported. "It's like the civil war going on over there!" Apparently, police were phoned three times after the supermodel was shoved into a door by one of Brant's...
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Funny story: Pamela Anderson Auctions Off One of Her Bikini Thongs On eBay

Pamela Anderson Auctions Off One of Her Bikini Thongs On eBay

MALIBU BEACH - Pamela Anderson, actress, model, author, and universal sex symbol called a press conference, which was held in her Malibu Beach living room. Pamela said that due to the economic crisis she has had to sell off one of her Beverly Hill...
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Funny story: 'A Children's Tale' by President Barack Obama

'A Children's Tale' by President Barack Obama

'Once upon a time, in a land far, far away from reality, there were many girls and boys, and all the boys and girls were unhappy. And do you know why they were unhappy? Because their mommies and daddies had lost their jobs at digging holes in the ground and recycling air, and the few coins they'd saved up for feasting had been stolen by the wicked Baron Greenbank. And some of their mommies and...
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Funny story: 'Professor Moriarty and the Cabinet Murders'

'Professor Moriarty and the Cabinet Murders'

Somewhere in West London, or possible East-by-West-by-East-by-South-West London, detective Sherlock Holmes was reading his new copy of 'PlaySleuthBabes', and eating a slice of housekeeper Mrs. van Helsing's barley and rhubarb leaf cake, when the door opened and his colleague Dr Watson entered the room. 'Ah Watson,' Watson wrongly said to himself, 'have you seen this?', and he passed himself tha...
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Funny story: Statue Of Liberty Begins Weeping

Statue Of Liberty Begins Weeping

New York, NY-- The citizens of New York have seen just about everything by now. But even the most jaded New Yorker was stunned by the sight of The Statue Of Liberty silently weeping on Saturday morning. Giant tears rolled down the famous statue's l...
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Funny story: The Apprentice Final

The Apprentice Final

Sir Alan Sugar has been talking about how hard it was for him to decide who would take away this years coveted title of the apprentice. This years final was hotly contested between Yasmina Siadatan and Louis Walsh's blond niece Kate Walsh. For...
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Funny story: North West, Yorkshire elect BNP MEPs; vote to secede from United Kingdom over slavery

North West, Yorkshire elect BNP MEPs; vote to secede from United Kingdom over slavery

The British National Party were celebrating today after both the North West and Yorkshire voted to place a BNP MEP in the European parliament. Polling a total of just over 250,000 votes, the BNP rightly claimed to be a party that has tapped into the...
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Funny story: Fergie Waxed by Blears

Fergie Waxed by Blears

News has just reached us that Fergie, the author of the books about Budgie the Helicopter is to have her wax-work melted to form Hazel Blears. The popular former wife of Prince 'Randy Andy' Andrew has not been in the news lately, so it was felt th...
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Funny story: Laura Ingalls reads a children's story

Laura Ingalls reads a children's story

'Once upon a time there was a place that the British, and the French, and the Spanish, and everyone and their dog, sent their surplus people to, to have a rest from fighting wars, where they quickly felt very important. And this place became full of fanatical Christians, that actually believed that the place was somehow important to the British, the French, and the Spanish. It wasn't. But th...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Shows Her Stuff On New Vanitee Flair

Jessica Simpson Shows Her Stuff On New Vanitee Flair

Not only does Jessica Simpson show off her new "best you can buy" sexy body on Vanitee Flair's June issue, but she answers questions on everything from her ex Nick Lachey to her relationship with her father. Here's a look at the upcoming interview: Ex-Husband Nick Lachey, and Whether or Not the "Newlyweds" Affected Their Marriage: "I have not spoken to him in over a year or two and a half. I...
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Funny story: Latest European election results on Sky News

Latest European election results on Sky News

'Here are the latest European results', said Sky presenter B B C Sackedme. 'In last place are the British National Party, with no seats, and then it's UKIP, with none either. In third place are the Liberal Democrats, who haven't won a seat, then it's the Conservatives. With a 0% swing towards them, they remain at 0 seats. And Labour still have no seats. James.' 'Thank you. Jim.' Thank you. Now,...
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Funny story: Denise Richards Says She's Had Three Boob Jobs

Denise Richards Says She's Had Three Boob Jobs

Reality TV star Denise Richards reveals she's had three boob jobs so far: "I was only 19 at the time, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done for her. "Meanwhile, I was flat as a board, and I thought 'Whoa, you can just BUY them.' and I stupidly had them done! Then I even more stupidly had them done again. "The next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not go...
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Funny story: Pete Wentz Completes Promised Lullaby Album

Pete Wentz Completes Promised Lullaby Album

Pete Wentz who said he was planning to write lullabies for his son months ago has finally got it finished. He told the press that becoming a father to Bronx Mowgli has "inspired him" to write an entire album after he wrote a song to help his baby fall asleep. The lullaby in question is going to be included on the new album, but he has finished writing the complete album of these sweet baby song...
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Funny story: Politician Wounded in Terror Attack

Politician Wounded in Terror Attack

The Government has acted swiftly in response to what it called a 'vicious and unprovoked attack' on a Labour MP by a newly-formed terrorist organisation. The attack, on former Home Secretary David Blunkett, left him with a broken rib and severe br...
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Funny story: 'The Adventures of Nick the Slug'

'The Adventures of Nick the Slug'

'Once upon a time there was a huge slug called Nick, and the slug had no place to call home, as nobody liked slugs. It slithered from garden path to refuse tip, from abbatoir to sewage plant, but could never find anywhere to stay for long, as when people saw it they booted it away from them, as slugs are very slimy animals indeed. And then one day the slug had an idea - why not find a garden th...
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Funny story: Sir Alan Sugar is not being made a Lord

Sir Alan Sugar is not being made a Lord

The rumour that Sir Alan Sugar is to be made a Lord has been rejected by the Government. The Prime Minister, taking time out from worrying about the state of Britain's got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle's health, has said that he intends to take it...
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Funny story: Brown blames Labour's Euro defeat on Thatcher

Brown blames Labour's Euro defeat on Thatcher

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has come out fighting after Labour's disastrous performance in the Euro elections which saw it fall to third place behind UKIP. Mr Brown said: "I take full responsibility for these results. It's all Mrs Thatcher's fault...
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Funny story: Is Android Young of Oxfordshire PCT actually a Time Lord?

Is Android Young of Oxfordshire PCT actually a Time Lord?

Androids Last week our intrepid inquirers reported back on their findings that Android Young and Lubja Stikupyerarze of Oxfordshire PCT (Primary Care Trust) had discovered something more important than life or death. Teapot In a shock new develop...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown phones Jack Tweed to check he's OK

Gordon Brown phones Jack Tweed to check he's OK

In another pathetically desperate attempt to appear hip, soon-to-be-outgoing prime minister Gordon Brown phoned The People's Twat, Jack Tweed, to check he was OK upon his release from prison. Brown said: "I just wanted to check he was doing alrigh...
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Funny story: PM Blames Susan Boyle for Euro election defeat

PM Blames Susan Boyle for Euro election defeat

As the main political parties digest the results of the European Elections, beleaguered Prime Minister Gordon Brown blames Susan Boyle for the poor election results. Showing a poor understanding of the electoral systems he said in a press confer...
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Funny story: Yet another flu nobody will catch

Yet another flu nobody will catch

Emerging out of North America this week, is a terrible new form of flu that has struck fear into the hearts of lexicographers everywhere. Beautiflu is a mutated form of the word Beautiful, and has been spotted as a misspelling on thousands of webs...
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Funny story: BNP Leader sets out his plans as newly-elected Euro MP

BNP Leader sets out his plans as newly-elected Euro MP

Ron Nasty, leader of the BNP has set out his plans following his election to the European Parliament. Aside from his pressing engagement with European parliament accountants to claim enormous expenses, his first task, is a planned march to take ov...
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Funny story: PM Hospitalised After Assault

PM Hospitalised After Assault

Prime Mincer Gollum Brown is in hospital today following a serious assault. Doctors describe his condition as serious but stable. The incident happened in Arramanches, in northern France, in the hours following the commemoration ceremony for the 6...
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Funny story: Labour Suffers Historic Election Loss

Labour Suffers Historic Election Loss

Prime Minister Gordon Brown's position is under increased threat again today, after Labour suffered its worst election performance in almost a century. Results from the European elections saw Labour lose the lead vote-share in Wales in a Parliamen...
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Funny story: Larry King Interviews Susan Boyle

Larry King Interviews Susan Boyle

LOS ANGELES - CNN talk show host Larry King recently interviewed Scottish songtress Susan Boyle, whom many felt was a virtual shoe-in to win Britain's Got Talent. But alas it was not to be as she came in second behind the all-male dance troupe Diversity. LARRY: Hello Susan. You're looking spiffy. SUSAN: Thank you Mr. King and you look somewhat dashing yourself. LARRY: Thank you. You can c...
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Funny story: Tomato Sales Ripe With Success

Tomato Sales Ripe With Success

Camden NJ: Sam Smith Jr. narrowly escaped from his house, only moments before it collapsed due to structure overload. No one was reported injured. Since being downsized from his job at the Campbell's Tomato Soup Factory Sam has had lots of free ti...
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Funny story: Gilles Marini To Star With Angelina Jolie In "008"

Gilles Marini To Star With Angelina Jolie In "008"

HOLLYWOOD - French actor Gilles Marini, who was the runnerup in this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars has just signed to star opposite Angelina Jolie in the James Bond motion picture 008. Marini said that he is looking forward to working w...
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Funny story: "Grasshopper" dies trying to make "Muskrat Love"

"Grasshopper" dies trying to make "Muskrat Love"

Bangkok, Thailand Thai coroners have ruled the cause of death of the former "Kung Fu" TV master, David Carradine, as death by assisted suicide, which seems to contradict earlier reports that the 1970s actor died by autoerotic asphyxiation. "We...
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