Funny story: Bar Owner Fined For Playing 1930's Music

Bar Owner Fined For Playing 1930's Music

A bar owner in Lubbock, Texas is being sued by a copyright company for allowing local bands to play music that was out sixty or seventy years ago. "Your Cheatin' Heart", a classic Hank Williams song from the early 1950's is named in the suit along...
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Funny story: Octogenarian White Racist Goes Mental At Museum

Octogenarian White Racist Goes Mental At Museum

Washington, D.C. - 89 year-old white supremist, James Von Brunn, today shot and killed a security guard at the Holocaust Museum in the capitol. Initial reports indicate that it was a random act of a deranged gunman who, after carrying years of hate t...
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Funny story: Blowjobs refusal strips Carrie Prejean

Blowjobs refusal strips Carrie Prejean

California - (Horny Ass Mess): Weeks of schmoozing, drooling, cajoling, pleading and begging on his goddam sodding knees have ended with Donald Trump, 69, stripping Carried Prejean. In public. Right from the start Prejean, 22, was adamant that...
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Funny story: Pattinson And Stewart Work Out Problem Together

Pattinson And Stewart Work Out Problem Together

After Robert Pattinson was caught in a compromising position with stunt-double Heather O'Brien recently, things almost got out of hand, admit the "Twilight" couple. "I've talked all this over with Robert and then I had a good talk with Heather and...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie the Untold Story

Angelina Jolie the Untold Story

Fourty-one year old minor league supermodel, Jenny Shimizu, says she had sex with Angelina Jolie to punish her for the unnatural cravings Jolie had for younger women. During a recent interview at a costume party, Shimizu came dressed as the termi...
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Funny story: Bill Killed

Bill Killed

There was controversy in a Bangkok wardrobe this week, when David Carradine, the former Kung Fu legend, was found dead in amongst his clothes at one of the city's top hotels. Carradine, real name Bill, was staying at the 5-star Swissotel Nai Lert...
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Funny story: Air France bomb outrage: Carla Bruni did it?

Air France bomb outrage: Carla Bruni did it?

Atlantic Ocean - (AssoCIAted Mess): A top FBI lawyer investigating Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's patronage of North Korea's nuclear weapon testing program may have been the main target of last week's Air France bomb. The leagle eagle had been on Carla's t...
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Funny story: A-Rod And Kate Hudson A "Natural"

A-Rod And Kate Hudson A "Natural"

Kate Hudson was spotted making out with Yankees star Alex Rodriguez aka A-Rod, according to some late leaving fans who told the New York Parade. "We saw Kate Hudson at Yankee Stadium in the stands earlier and a bartender was asking patrons not to...
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Funny story: Mosley coroner slams drug dealers' customer service

Mosley coroner slams drug dealers' customer service

London - (Smack Bong Wallop Mess): Rotten customer service by get-rich-quick fly-by-night drug dealers was strongly criticised at Westmonster Coroners Court today. An inquest into the drug death of Nazi S&M fetishist Max Mosley's son Alexander...
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Funny story: New Anti-Social Networking Site 'What You Lookin' At?' is launched

New Anti-Social Networking Site 'What You Lookin' At?' is launched

After the success of Facebook, Twitter and Ireallyneedablowjob.web, the latest of many social networking sites has been launched, but this time with a subtle twist. To suit the needs of 21st century urban living, 'What You Lookin' At?' allows user...
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Funny story: New health minister Andy "Bum-ham" tells the Beeb the jurrasic NHS is perfect apart from a 640 million quid debt!

New health minister Andy "Bum-ham" tells the Beeb the jurrasic NHS is perfect apart from a 640 million quid debt!

After being burdened with the worst possible ministerial position in the UK government, new health minister Andy Bum-ham gave his first upbeat interview on our fav breakfast show hosted by cuddly "Billy Boy" and Kate "the Bitch next door." Cuddly...
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Funny story: Zsa Zsa Gabor named Tsar Tsar

Zsa Zsa Gabor named Tsar Tsar

Hungarian legend and wedding cake-makers' favourite, actress and good-time-had-by-all girl Zsa Zsa Gabor, was today made the UK's official Tsar Tsar. 'There where so many Tsars being created', Prime Minister Gordon Brown said, 'that we needed to c...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Disses The McCain's, Limbaugh, Coulter, and Tina Fey

Sarah Palin Disses The McCain's, Limbaugh, Coulter, and Tina Fey

BALTIMORE - In a move right out of Romancing The Stone, Frost Nixon, and The Titanic, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin waltzed right into the Orioles Nest Hotel's Brooks Robinson Convention Room and literally stole the show at the GOP Fundraising Dinner.
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Funny story: Britney Spears and Madonna to open Autoerotic Sex Clinic in London

Britney Spears and Madonna to open Autoerotic Sex Clinic in London

London, UK - Britney Spears and Madonna announced today their plan to open an autoerotic sex clinic in London. The clinic is to be called "Carradine's". Banking on their names as hot, sex-driven celebrities, the two have each invested over $1 mil...
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Funny story: Gordon Ramsay: Transformer

Gordon Ramsay: Transformer

In breaking news, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has announced that he has become a physiological phenomena, a transformer. Yes, the foul mouthed Scot says he can transform himself into GORDON RAMSAY malevolent mysoginistic homophobic narcissistic mon...
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Funny story: Scientists report - Horoscopes are accurate

Scientists report - Horoscopes are accurate

In a report published today, scientists based at the University of California (Los Angeles) claim that research has proven horoscopes to be accurate. In a striking section of the 600-page document, a survey of Taurus and Gemini subjects activities...
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Funny story: Pixel Liberation Army

Pixel Liberation Army

It started back in the 1970s when Pacman ate his first ghost. Within a year, aliens were being decimated in their thousands across the world as they marched down computer screens in arcades. With the advent of games like Doom, and latterly World o...
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Funny story: Foreign Secretary perfects dumbed-down elocution

Foreign Secretary perfects dumbed-down elocution

Oxford and Harvard educated David Millipede has perfected street-cred speech mannerisms that stand comparison with Tony Bliar at his coolest. Speaking yesterday on the Today programme, Mr Millipede demonstrated near-perfect use of the glottal sto...
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Funny story: "Slim Jim" Snaps Into One Too Many Mechanically Separated Beef Snacks

"Slim Jim" Snaps Into One Too Many Mechanically Separated Beef Snacks

GARNER, NC - James "Slim Jim" Mumford is missing and two others are dead following a massive explosion at the Mechanically Separated Jerky Treats factory in North Carolina Tuesday morning. Mumford had already eaten more than one-hundred of the com...
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Funny story: Prime Minister Apologises - Resigns

Prime Minister Apologises - Resigns

Embattled Prime Minister Gordon Brown came to the front door of No 10, Downing Street at 1155 am today and spoke to a small group of passing tourists. It is worth noting that Downing Street has been opened to the public as a demonstration of the n...
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Funny story: BNP to allow "Slightly coffee coloured people" in new membership drive

BNP to allow "Slightly coffee coloured people" in new membership drive

BNP HQ today released a statement announcing a slight adjustment to their membership criteria. "Slightly coffee coloured people" are to be allowed to join the party on a trial basis announced Mr.Griffin with one eye looking at me whilst the other...
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Funny story: Piers Morgan to join Government

Piers Morgan to join Government

Piers Morgan has admitted that his best friend Gordon Brown has offered him a job in the Government. Rumours about the appointment started after the gregarious ex Daily Mirror editor talked about it incessantly on numerous TV programmes. Gordon's...
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Funny story: English Gets Its Millionth Word

English Gets Its Millionth Word

NEW YORK CITY, NY - The English language contains more words than any other on the planet, and it added its millionth early Wednesday morning, according to the Global Language Monitor, a web site that uses a mathematical formula to predict the freque...
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Funny story: Tube Strike-Latest

Tube Strike-Latest

Today is the first day of a planned 48 hour strike by London's beleaguered tube drivers. This will put London into chaos and affect millions of honest hard working commuters trying to get in to work and try to keep the economy ticking along. RMT u...
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Funny story: "Shady" Malik Rips Off British Taxpayers

"Shady" Malik Rips Off British Taxpayers

Shadik Nomar Malik may have used British taxpayers' money to have multiple offices, surgeries, hairdresser salons and suspicious massage parlors across the United Kingdom and around the world. Shady Malik's name has appeared on more leases across...
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Funny story: Russell Crowe to Star in "NottingJustaHam" If He Can Get Rid of Ridley

Russell Crowe to Star in "NottingJustaHam" If He Can Get Rid of Ridley

Russell Crowe has asked Universexual Pictures to remove his long time secret lover, director Ridley Scott from his latest heroic film enterprise. Crowe crowed to Universexualist execs that if he could just get rid of Ridley he could truly become Robi...
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Funny story: Farm Animals Blast Senate Democrats, Republicans

Farm Animals Blast Senate Democrats, Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the Senate, key negotiators broke up a session Monday, prompting American farm animals to criticize senators from both parties, who they claim "have the taxpayer feedbags on again." With the protracted debate of health care o...
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Funny story: General Motors to Prevent Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

General Motors to Prevent Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

Car companies have been choking consumers with inflated prices and high pressure sales techniques since time immemorial. For as long,they have been polluting city and countryside with their poisonous products. Now that Mr Economic Trouble has come ar...
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Funny story: Iran Declares War on Saudi Arabia

Iran Declares War on Saudi Arabia

Tehran Iran: Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced today that a state of war exists between the Islamic Republic of Iran and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. King Abdullah could not be reached for comment. Saudi Arabian environmentalists have convinc...
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