Funny story: News of the World buggery claim

News of the World buggery claim

London - (Rotten Ass Mess): The News of the Screws buggered over three thousand people according to a High Court judgement delivered today. But the phone buggery case cost parent company News International one million pounds after the judge said s...
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Funny story: Reverend Luscious Smith? They gotta be takin' the piss!

Reverend Luscious Smith? They gotta be takin' the piss!

Los Angeles - (ReadMyLipsNoMoreTexas! Mess): To some Jackson Memorial groupies Pastor Luscious Smith, the Bel Air reverendo with the porn star moniker, wasn't exactly your Cardinal Theodore Edgar McCarrick, Archbishop of Washington at Ronald Reagan'...
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Funny story: 'United Breaks Guitars' Becomes a Youtube Hit

'United Breaks Guitars' Becomes a Youtube Hit

Halifax, NS - An obscure Canadian band who had their guitar broken by United Airline Baggage handlers have scored a viral Youtube hit with the song 'United Breaks Guitars'. The band, Sons of Maxwell, received no satisfaction when trying to come t...
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Funny story: Scandal in Spoof Palace: Queen Offs Young Lady in Waiting/Blood On the Forum!

Scandal in Spoof Palace: Queen Offs Young Lady in Waiting/Blood On the Forum!

United Kingdom/Somewhere in a Literary Bog - The Spoof World was in shock today, as Her Royal Highness , Queen of Spoof Dominatrix , QM, easily blew off a potential challenger in the form of a cheeky 19 year old pretender. With over 10,000 Spoo...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Almost But Not Quite Pens Bad Story

Spoof Writer Almost But Not Quite Pens Bad Story

Spoof writers the world over today waited with bated breath, hugging computer screens as news leaked out that writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com Abel Rodriguez had submitted a bad story. A spokesman for the Rodriguez camp denied the allegat...
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Funny story: "Sink Immigrants' Boat" Says BNP Leader

"Sink Immigrants' Boat" Says BNP Leader

British Numpty Party leader Dick Sniffin says that the Royal Navy should slaughter immigrants at sea. "Killing a load of foreigners at sea is exactly what made Britain great in the first place" said Mr Sniffin. Such claims have caused an uproar. S...
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Funny story: Planet Earth Has Shot It's Wad

Planet Earth Has Shot It's Wad

London: A scientific group of scientists have met for three days and all have come to the same conclusion, "The earth as we know it and still being recognizable has had a fork stuck in it's ass and been turned over...twice. The recent wildfires, s...
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Funny story: Sobering Thoughts As Alcohol Deaths Rise

Sobering Thoughts As Alcohol Deaths Rise

People suffered from sobering thoughts earlier today when it was announced that drink related deaths were on the increase. Ewen Chatfield was enjoying a few jars in his local "One More Into The Wind Please" when the news broke. Chatfield was so upset...
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Funny story: Willow Palin: "Like, get over it, Paris Jackson!"

Willow Palin: "Like, get over it, Paris Jackson!"

Juneau-her, Alas!-ka - (Rotters): Willow Palin has sent Paris Jackson a sweet message of condolence after seeing her very under-rehearsed primetime coast-to-toast (sick!) debut performance on TV yesterday. The fourteen year old commiserated with J...
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Funny story: Top 12 Ways To Ruin A Star Trek Convention

Top 12 Ways To Ruin A Star Trek Convention

12. Keep announcing "The Geek Has Left The Room!" 11. Go as a Wookie with a taped loud Wookie sound you set off whenever someone tells you that Wookies were in Star WARS!! 10. "Ever hear a Ferengi fart?" 9. Go up to a Seven Of Nine as say, "I've known Seven of Nine, All Nine of Nine were friends of mine. But you Madame, are no Seven of Nine!" 8. Set joy buzzer in hand on "Stun!"...
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Funny story: Stockbroker suicide from Sir Terence Con-Artist restraurant

Stockbroker suicide from Sir Terence Con-Artist restraurant

London - (Salmonella Ass Mess): Amuse bouche?? Ya know that gut feeling feeling in the pit of yer stomach that says something was well dodgy about the king prawns alfredo? Well today a City stockbroker made the ultimate in gastronomic stateme...
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Funny story: Satirical Website Rocked By Scandal

Satirical Website Rocked By Scandal

Satirical website TheSpoof.com was today left reeling under a stormcloud of controversy as contributors scrambled to get to the bottom of the Chamone mystery. Spoof writer, Chamone, who appeared within the last few days posted a captivating avatar...
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Funny story: Consumer Alert: Hyperbaric chamber Recall

Consumer Alert: Hyperbaric chamber Recall

Hyperbarics R Us, the manufacturers of the oxygenated chambers designed to prolong human life, have issued a product recall. All consumers who purchased a hyperbaric chamber product between 1990 and 1999, are asked to contact the manufacturer so...
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Funny story: Real Madrid Change Name To Ronaldo Madrid

Real Madrid Change Name To Ronaldo Madrid

Real Madrid, Spanish football legends, have changed their name to Ronaldo Madrid. It is believed to be the ultimate example in marketing taking over top flight football. Madrid great Alfredo Di stefano said "we have truly sold our soul. Nothing re...
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Funny story: Shhhhhh....Jackson's body was flown for burial under the Vatican

Shhhhhh....Jackson's body was flown for burial under the Vatican

Los Angeles - (Rioters): As a one billion global tv audience watched the Jackson family circus on primetime coast to coast on Tuesday Michael Jackson's remains were secretly flown by private chartered aircraft for internment in a special child molest...
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Funny story: San Francisco Onion Proposes "3-Way" with BuckwheatsButt, Chamone

San Francisco Onion Proposes "3-Way" with BuckwheatsButt, Chamone

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The founder of the San Francisco Onion has noticed that BuckwheatsButt and Chamone are spending a lot of time together lately, nestled together "all warm and snuggly," having spent more than 2 days now at the number 6 and 7 positi...
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Funny story: Fury As Thomas The Tank Engine Goes to War

Fury As Thomas The Tank Engine Goes to War

Furious parents are marching on Westminster today to protest the perceived "Militarisation" of children's television, and the "Theft of innocence." Since MPs voted to introduce the under-five's curriculum, current affairs will be making an appeara...
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Funny story: Wanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012

Wanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012

The noble art of masturbation is amongst a number of proposed events to be considered for inclusion by the 2012 Olympic games in Britain. Wanking is believed to be the most popular pastime amongst males between the ages of 13 to 99 - with female p...
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Funny story: Bird that's Seldom Seen No Longer the Most Admired

Bird that's Seldom Seen No Longer the Most Admired

Ornithologists have decreed null and void archaic the law that states that seldom seen birds are to be admired above those that are quite commonly spotted. Woody Woodpecker, the head ornithologist at St. Anus' College, Manchester, said that the an...
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Funny story: Worlds first Machine designed for Photocopying Arses Goes on Sale Today

Worlds first Machine designed for Photocopying Arses Goes on Sale Today

Electronics' experts Tic-Tech have released the worlds first copy machine specifically designed for recording high-grade images of office workers' bare naked arses. The device comes with a bucket seat and steps for easy access for drunken employee...
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Funny story: Superman's Career Ruined as final Telephone Box Removed

Superman's Career Ruined as final Telephone Box Removed

No more will the cry of "is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Superman!", be heard in the tiny fishing village of Glamogylly, Wales as its last telephone box was removed yesterday due to commercial reasoning. The worst hit will be local mild-man...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson to be Buried at Graceland

Michael Jackson to be Buried at Graceland

Dead pop star Michael Jackson is to be buried at the legendary home of Elvis Presley at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee. A plot has been especially dug by Lisa Marie Presley to accommodate the large gold coffin of her former husband. The two l...
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Funny story: Brooke Shields Tipped for Oscar Glory after Jackson Memorial Performance

Brooke Shields Tipped for Oscar Glory after Jackson Memorial Performance

Actress Brooke Shields has been tipped to win the Oscar in the Best Supporting Actress category after her whirlwind performance during the Michael Jackson memorial concert yesterday. Shields managed to laugh AND cry during her 5-minute rambling s...
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Funny story: Spoof writers union threaten strike if any more Whacko stories are published!

Spoof writers union threaten strike if any more Whacko stories are published!

UK, serious (what!) Spoof writers are threatening strike action if any new Whacko, Jacko stories are published. Led by their spokesman Skoob99, the union better known as "ABUNCHOFWANKERS AND EX COALMINERS" will start strike action immediately. Man...
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Funny story: Ghost of Michael Jackson Says Memorial Service Was Crap

Ghost of Michael Jackson Says Memorial Service Was Crap

The Ghost of Michael Jackson was not impressed with his memorial service and has lodged a complaint with God and the television networks. "There was too much stupid nobodies I barely knew getting up on stage and talking crap", said Jackson's ghost...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson's Kids become new Faces of Wine Gum Adverts

Michael Jackson's Kids become new Faces of Wine Gum Adverts

Sweet makers have signed up the children of pop star Michael Jackson to appear in their new adverts for their popular 'Wine Gums' brand. A company representative noticed that the children were chewing continuously all the way through the memorial...
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Funny story: Welsh Boy Wanders onto Stage at Jackson Memorial Concert

Welsh Boy Wanders onto Stage at Jackson Memorial Concert

The World watched in horror as a Welsh boy somehow managed to get up and perform on the stage at Michael Jackson's memorial concert. By the time he was eventually dragged off stage by burly security staff, the Welsh boy had managed to not only com...
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Funny story: G8 Summit Leaders Set Two Degree Global Warming Limit

G8 Summit Leaders Set Two Degree Global Warming Limit

World leaders at the G8 Summit Meeting approved a motion to limit global warming to a maximum of a two degree celcius increase. This is the first agreement on any matter pertaining to global warming among the group. Outside of the meeting, United...
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Funny story: IMF Expects World Economy to have Slow Recovery

IMF Expects World Economy to have Slow Recovery

In an interview in his Paris office, Jim Phelps of the IMF said that he thought that the world would have a slow recovery from the current bad economy. He added, however, that this was not his field of study and that we were probably interviewing th...
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Funny story: Repeal on hunting ban to beat recession stress

Repeal on hunting ban to beat recession stress

The Tories revealed today that their main priority during the recession will be to launch a campaign to repeal the ban on fox hunting. Conservative Shadow Justice Minister Egbert Garnier said the ban on hunting with hounds, which came into force in F...
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Funny story: Is Kristen Stewart Pregnant By Robert Pattinson?

Is Kristen Stewart Pregnant By Robert Pattinson?

That's what all the fans are trying to find out after the story and a photo of Stewart's little round belly appeared in an Australian publication, News Weekly. The story has now been picked up here in the U.S. and was touched upon by the New York...
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Funny story: Tomb is empty

Tomb is empty

Three days after he died, sources near the Jackson family report that they went to visit his crypt and found it open and empty. According to one anonymous woman who was close to The King of Pop's entourage, she went to visit the tomb before dawn...
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Funny story: Crystal Defanti To Make Appearance At G8 Summit

Crystal Defanti To Make Appearance At G8 Summit

L'Aquila, Italy - Crystal Defanti, the American school teacher who unwittingly included her own personal sex tape in a DVD she gave to her students, will make an appearance at the G8 summit in Italy. She is a guest of Prime Minister Berlusconi, noted...
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Funny story: Jet Airways To Offer Standing Room In Luggage Compartment

Jet Airways To Offer Standing Room In Luggage Compartment

Toledo, OH - An upstart American discount charter carrier, Jet Airways, is ready to offer its customers standing room in the luggage compartments of it's Boeing 737 aircraft for an incredibly low price of $19.99 US return. Said company media rep,...
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Funny story: Man With The Wold's Smallest Penis To Be In Play

Man With The Wold's Smallest Penis To Be In Play

Penis Minus(not his real name) has agreed to star in a new stage production, The Pecker Of Dorian Gray. "I've gotten my courage up after marrying my sweetie pie", Penis Minus who will play Dorian Gray, only in this version, a portrait of Penis Min...
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Funny story: Boogertown Apocalyptic Group Meet

Boogertown Apocalyptic Group Meet

In order to boost morale after yet another unfulfilled apocalyptic prophecy of nuclear proportions, members of the Movement To Hallow Earth After Destruction in Boogertown(B-T-HEAD/BOTOWN) emerged from their compound and walked down the road apiece, stumbling into trees and falling over each other as they adjusted to daylight, to Rudy's Bar in Booger Green for Happy Hour -- $2 beers, $3 drinks and...
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Funny story: Says Dad To Lily Collins - 'Stay Away From Adam Lambert'

Says Dad To Lily Collins - 'Stay Away From Adam Lambert'

London, UK - Celebutant Lily Collins, daughter of drummer Phil Collins, has been told by her father to stay away from American Idol Adam Lambert. Said father Phil, "Adam Lambert is a football hooligan, a lout. I don't want him anywhere near my daught...
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Funny story: Harry Potplant and The Chamber of Skunk

Harry Potplant and The Chamber of Skunk

All the stars turned out last night for the premiere of the new Harry Potplant film. Harry Potplant and the Chamber of Skunk has the hero do battle with the munchies at the 24hour garage near Hogwarts. The munchies attack following the discovery o...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Cologne - 'Perpetuity' To Hit Stores Soon

Michael Jackson Cologne - 'Perpetuity' To Hit Stores Soon

Beverly Hills, CA - In an effort to cash in on the overwhelming popularity of the recently deceased Michael Jackson, 'The King Of Pop', marketers are preparing to release a new cologne. The cologne will be called Michael Jackson - 'Perpetuity'. Sa...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson is well and alive and living at Disneyland Paris

Michael Jackson is well and alive and living at Disneyland Paris

"I thought no one cared," said Michael Jackson as he watched his funeral on the television set in the lounge of the five-star hotel in Disneyland Paris where he now lives. The pop star arrived at the theme-park outside the French capital eight hou...
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Funny story: Birth Of A Super Hero

Birth Of A Super Hero

It was Monday morning. Wheelie bin day in West Cheam. The residents had all dutifully left their bins at the edge of their properties. Nobody had over-filled. The dust cart travelled around the narrow streets with care. The crew were working fast-Mondays were always busy. Charlie and Dave moved with ease, placing the bins on the back of the cart. Steve was at the wheel. An experienced driver, he k...
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Funny story: Harry Potter Frustrated In NYC!

Harry Potter Frustrated In NYC!

Daniel Radcliffe, alias Harry Potter, doesn't appreciate the drinking age in the United States because he's still not old enough to go into liquor stores or to party legally, according to The Daily News. Since he's been living in New York City be...
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Funny story: Secrets Revealed From The Spoof Slumber Party

Secrets Revealed From The Spoof Slumber Party

Friday evening, on the eve of the Fifth Annual Spoof Magazine Writer's Picnic (the first in Texas), police officers were sent to the home of Madeline (Madame) Bitters to break up a domestic disturbance. Investigating officers at the scene report tha...
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Funny story: New Chrysler adds "Real Horsepower"

New Chrysler adds "Real Horsepower"

(AP) Detroit - The newly restructured Chrysler Corporation has wasted no time taking a unique lead in vehicle propulsion, completely eliminating the pollution producing internal combustion engine. "Beginning in 2010 all Chrysler vehicles will be...
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Funny story: Chinese Leader Leaves G8 Summit In Disgust

Chinese Leader Leaves G8 Summit In Disgust

Chinese leader Sun Leeve Job walked out of the G8 summit in disgust earlier today. He is said to have been very disappointed at the standard of protests in Italy. One insider said "He came here feeling a little homesick. He wanted some really big rio...
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Funny story: Oscar Mayer Bites the Big One

Oscar Mayer Bites the Big One

MADISON, WI - Oscar G. Mayer, third Oscar Mayer in a family that created an artificially preserved, mechanically separated food product empire, died today at the age of 95, having achieved nearly twice the shelf life of his company's hot dogs. Ask...
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Funny story: Dick Cheney shoots own pecker off

Dick Cheney shoots own pecker off

In what is being described by Republican sources as a "freak hunting accident," on July 8 former US Vice President Dick Cheney inadvertently fired a .22 rifle at himself while on a duck-shoot in the Chesapeake Bay area, causing severe gunshot injuri...
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Funny story: New MI6 C In "Filthy" Internet Pictures

New MI6 C In "Filthy" Internet Pictures

London, Rooters - The new head of MI6, Sir John Sawyers, has been immersed in further scandal as it emerged his wife has posted pictures of the couple taking part in "unusual sexual activity" on internet social web picture talk dirty site Vicebook.
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Funny story: Palin Leaving Office to Take Politikal Science Klasses

Palin Leaving Office to Take Politikal Science Klasses

KOTZEBUE, AK - Sarah Palin, governor of America's last frontier, spoke to a cheering crowd of 300 in a remote Alaskan village 30 miles North of the Arctic Circle today, finally addressing speculation concerning her seemingly inexplicable decision to...
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Funny story: The Ashes "No Repeat Of 2005"

The Ashes "No Repeat Of 2005"

Australian captain Ricky Pointless has said that he does not expect a repeat of 2005. "In 2005 the cricket was excellent and everybody got excited and had a great time. That level of enthusiasm will not be around this time. Playing the first test in...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown "Don't Say That You're With Us"

Gordon Brown "Don't Say That You're With Us"

Gordon Brown has sent an email to Labour Party members urging them not to admit that they are members. In the email Brown says that they should "try to avoid" admitting membership of the Labour Party when writing to the press. Brown urged them to be...
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Funny story: Human Sperm Created In Newcastle Laboratory

Human Sperm Created In Newcastle Laboratory

Scientists have made a major breakthrough by creating human sperm. However, the claim is not without some controversy. Critics have claimed that it is not genuine human sperm and there are also those who believe that scientists should leave well alon...
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Funny story: Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Queen Latifah To Record A Michael Jackson Tribute Single

Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Queen Latifah To Record A Michael Jackson Tribute Single

LOS ANGELES - Michael Jackson's sister Janet Jackson has stated that she will be entering the recording studio and recording a tribute song to her brother with Mariah Carey and Queen Latifah. The song which was co-written by Smokey Robinson and Si...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga To Cover Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean", Dance The Moonwalk

Lady Gaga To Cover Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean", Dance The Moonwalk

Up-and-coming artist Lady GaGa is set to perform Michael Jackson's 1980s hit single "Billie Jean" on her upcoming tour dates. She will also dance the famous Moonwalk, mixed with a bit of Tecktonik and salsa. Lady GaGa said she was "very sad for...
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Funny story: President Barack Obama Names Rev. Al Sharpton To Be His Speech Writer

President Barack Obama Names Rev. Al Sharpton To Be His Speech Writer

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama, after hearing the Rev. Al Sharpton's tribute speech to Michael Jackson during the Michael Jackson Memorial Service has asked him to join his cabinet as chief speech writer. As the president watched Rev. Sharpton...
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Funny story: Brooke Shields Proposed To Michael Jackson

Brooke Shields Proposed To Michael Jackson

HOLLYWOOD - Brooke Shields has just revealed a very intimate secret that she has kept inside of her for fifteen years. The statuesque star stated that in 1994 she fell in love with Michael Jackson while the two of them were having M&M Blizzar...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert: Michael Jackson Cloned Me

Adam Lambert: Michael Jackson Cloned Me

Sources close to Michael Jackson the King of Pop and the Preposterous have reported that he was obsessed with the desire to clone himself in the hope that his genetic duplicate given a different environment might turn out to less of a freak. American...
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Funny story: Ecclestone to Run Motor Racing at Auschwitz

Ecclestone to Run Motor Racing at Auschwitz

Herr Bernhard Ecclestone has announced that the next running of the Race Cars will be in Poland. Ecclestone long an admirer of the efficiency of fascist dictators has become increasingly frustrated with the careless sense of time and organisation...
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Funny story: "Mammy" Ramirez Ejected for Indecent Exposure

"Mammy" Ramirez Ejected for Indecent Exposure

Since the artless Dodger Manny Ramirez has returned from his fifty game suspension for having a performance enhancing female sex hormone in his bloodstream, things have just gone downhill. Ramirez now known as " Mammy" because of the bodacious tatas...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Fans Disrupt Memorial at Staples Center

Michael Jackson Fans Disrupt Memorial at Staples Center

Los Angeles, California - A relatively small but outspoken group of true Michael Jackson fans in attendance of the ticketed event only at the Staples Center for their namesake fallen hero, The King of Pop, disrupted the memorial proceedings today by...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Vajay Found Holding Missing Jewels and Bikinis

Lindsay Lohan's Vajay Found Holding Missing Jewels and Bikinis

Lately whatever Lindsay Lohan models goes missing... First jewels and now five bikinis... Missing that was until a suspicious private dick started to pry into the shadowy crevices where ladies like Lohan like to hide their hot wares. Sure enough...
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Funny story: Congress Compromises on Affordable Health Care

Congress Compromises on Affordable Health Care

Washington DC: Congress has finally reached a compromise on a Health Care bill to cover all Americans. This reform bill balances the level of care and cost, such that President Obama is expected to sign it into law. The bill considers only the gov...
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Funny story: Shields tipped for Oscar success following Michael Jackson Memorial

Shields tipped for Oscar success following Michael Jackson Memorial

Following today's emotional Michael Jackson memorial concert, Hollywood insiders have been speculating that friend of MJ and fellow childhood deity, Brook Shields, could actually receive an Oscar nod for her live speech which clearly reached out touc...
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