Funny story: STD Epidemic Strikes

STD Epidemic Strikes

Recently, a new STD has swept the state of Connecticut and New York. It is terribly unfortunate and has taken, thus far, about 200 lives. This is a new type of STD that no one has ever seen before. It seems to mock the existence of a human, prancing...
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Funny story: Government Cash for Clits Program Abandoned Amidst Amoral Allegations

Government Cash for Clits Program Abandoned Amidst Amoral Allegations

WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industr...
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Funny story: Joanna Lumley To Star In 'Some Like It Hot' Remake

Joanna Lumley To Star In 'Some Like It Hot' Remake

Gurkha Goddess and erstwhile star of Absolutely Fabulous, Joanna Lumley is rumoured to be taking the lead role in a Barry Norman directed remake of Billy Wilder's classic 1959 comedy laugh riot, 'Some Like It Hot.' Lumley will play the Sugar Kane...
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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Fuming over Tour De France Finish

Lance Armstrong Fuming over Tour De France Finish

Paris, France - Lance Armstrong revealed today the depth of his despair in finishing third in the recently completed Tour De France. "I just can't bring myself to dismount from my bike even though the race ended last Sunday," said the seven time...
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Funny story: Flogging a Dead Face

Flogging a Dead Face

Today many prominent businessmen and people from the worlds of entertainment, sport and science were meeting at a Flogging a Dead Face convention in New York City, to find ways of coming to a peaceful solution to the battle for control of endlessly mentioning and talking about Michael Jackson. Convention host Donald V. Corleone announced to the delegates: 'People, we must keep this thing going...
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Funny story: Is Ike a Raving Looney

Is Ike a Raving Looney

The World has more conspiracy theorists now than ever before. Some of the best known conspiracy theories at present include a cover up of 911 (because there have been reports that the two towers came down like controlled explosions), the alien th...
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Funny story: Michael Schumacher makes shock return to host TV Gameshow

Michael Schumacher makes shock return to host TV Gameshow

The BBC are celebrating today, following the announcement that former F1 driver, Michael Schumacher, will be returning to host the hit TV Gameshow - "The Generation Game". The show is expected to pull in record audiences when the first episode air...
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Funny story: T.P. Evangelist Anal Roberts Envisions Sea of Feces

T.P. Evangelist Anal Roberts Envisions Sea of Feces

TULSA, OK, USA Noted toilet paper evangelist Anal Roberts recently appeared on a television broadcast of Kenneth Crapland's Believer's Voice of the Fatally Flatulent and claimed to have experienced a vision in which "Smoke, and vapor, and a rolling...
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Funny story: Led Zeppelin To Record A Christmas Album

Led Zeppelin To Record A Christmas Album

LONDON - The manager of Led Zeppelin Christopher Dutchmill has stated that in lieu of going on tour, the heavy metal British band will instead record a Christmas album. Dutchmill stated that the reason that LZ decided against going on tour was due...
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Funny story: New Conservative Retirement Plan: Keep Working till you Drop Dead!

New Conservative Retirement Plan: Keep Working till you Drop Dead!

Washington, DC - A novel retirement plan for the people of America is under consideration in Congress. The plan put forth by conservative members of Congress is decidedly straight forward and simple. Aptly named the 'Keep Working Until You drop D...
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Funny story: Fat Federline May Get Own Reality TV Show

Fat Federline May Get Own Reality TV Show

As Kevin Federline continues to pack on the pounds, he's now about 250 some say, he's in the process of landing his own reality show. The show would feature K-Fed along with girlfriend Victoria Prince and sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, eatin...
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Funny story: Twilight Actress Leaving Before Eclipse

Twilight Actress Leaving Before Eclipse

According to the latest "confirmed" rumor, Bella Swan will have a new antagonist in Twilight: Eclipse, as Bryce Dallas Howard will be replacing Rachelle Lefevre as the Bella-hating Victoria in next year's third installment. Rachelle's exit from th...
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Funny story: Musharraf shuns Supreme Court summons, launches new Pervez Musharraf League (PML)

Musharraf shuns Supreme Court summons, launches new Pervez Musharraf League (PML)

LONDONISTAN, UK: Former dictator and "winner of losing wars" (e.g. Kargil), little man Musharraf has decided to shun Supreme Court summons and upon the advice of his new "Best best friends" (cronies) has launched his own political party -the Pervez...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson doctor smuggled into Balmoral Castle on Diprivan mercy mission

Michael Jackson doctor smuggled into Balmoral Castle on Diprivan mercy mission

Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Rioters): Michael Jackson's anaesthetist has been secretly airlifted to the Queen's Scottish squat after the NHS refused to top up her Diprivan drip following a hunting accident to her ass. Er, nose! Conrad Murray...
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Funny story: Obama Family To Vacation In West Philly Crackhouse

Obama Family To Vacation In West Philly Crackhouse

Philadelphia PA-- The Obama Family will vacation in an exotic location this year--West Philly. President Obama considered Marthas Vineyard, Palm Beach and Maui, but decided they were 'too white.' He also wanted his two kids to experience life the w...
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Funny story: Local Couple have Sex-Change

Local Couple have Sex-Change

Local couple John and Mary Morris from number 64, Swallows lane, have gone out and got themselves a sex change to celebrate each others 40th anniversary. The loving couple felt they needed a change to spice up their tired love life and there is no...
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Funny story: Hellmouth Opens in Grounds of Knebworth House

Hellmouth Opens in Grounds of Knebworth House

The Occult News is reporting that about 50,000 demons have been spotted rampaging around the grounds of Knebworth House near Stevenage, prompting fears that a new Hellmouth has opened. The demons, many of them pasty teenagers or pot-bellied middle...
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Funny story: Local Man Can't Stand Heat - Decides to Get out of the Kitchen

Local Man Can't Stand Heat - Decides to Get out of the Kitchen

Local man Jerry Umbridge, of number 6 Colchester Avenue, has exited his kitchen after noticing his wife, Tania, was reading shit UK ladies magazine 'Heat' at the kitchen table. The man stormed out in disgust after he could no longer take listening...
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Funny story: Local Man Doesn't Know how To Turn His Computer On

Local Man Doesn't Know how To Turn His Computer On

Local pensioner Tom Baxstard, 82, has been struggling to get to grips with modern life. The sprightly old coot used his life savings to purchase a used Commodore 64 computer. But poor Tom hasn't a fucking clue how to switch the blasted thing on! "...
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Funny story: Local Man Likes Being Photographed From the Right Hand Side Only

Local Man Likes Being Photographed From the Right Hand Side Only

Local man Peter Arsewipe has told the local papers that he will only allow himself to be photographed facing towards the left - or the photographers right. The well-known ladies man is regularly photographed for pictures that appear on occasional...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict Calls For Peace on TheSpoof.com

Pope Benedict Calls For Peace on TheSpoof.com

The Holy Father, Pope Benedict has called on all the writers from TheSpoof.com to come together in a spirit of friendliness and harmony. The former Nazi and lover of 1970's Funk -particularly James Browne's 'Sex Machine' phase - asked that the feu...
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Funny story: Tomatoes Linked To Pizza By Scientific Researchers

Tomatoes Linked To Pizza By Scientific Researchers

Scientists at UK research facility Porton Down today revealed that there is in inextricable link between pizza and tomatoes. Pizzas, a fast food staple in most developed countries, originated in the city of Naples (or Napoli) where Diego Maradonna...
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Funny story: Hull City Totally Outclass Beijing Guoan

Hull City Totally Outclass Beijing Guoan

There was much cause for celebration amongst the hordes of travelling Hull City fans tonight when, playing in the Barclays Premier League Asian Trophy, the Tigers trounced the Chinese side, Beijing Guoan, 1-1 in the Workers Stadium. City took the...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Are Actually Biological Brothers

Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Are Actually Biological Brothers

MANHATTAN, New York - After years of mounting speculation, it is now official that GOP mouthpieces, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are indeed biological brothers. Vigoroso "Parmesan Pete" Petaluchi who is the owner of the Brooklyn-based I See Youse,...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck and the Birthers-New Album Released

Glenn Beck and the Birthers-New Album Released

Branson, MO - Many people may not know that Glenn Beck fancies himself a singer. Some who've heard him say "you either like him or you don't, there's no middle ground." His voice is sometimes likened to a high-pitched whine, while simultaneousl...
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Funny story: Palin To Use Kryptonite on Obama

Palin To Use Kryptonite on Obama

Former governor Palin is still being coy about her plans to run for the presidency in 2102 however top Republicans confide that she is secretly mobilizing for a serious run at president Obama. Starting at the grass roots level Palin has organized...
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Funny story: New Movie For Selena Gomez Also Co-Starring Zac Efron

New Movie For Selena Gomez Also Co-Starring Zac Efron

Selena Gomez is set to star in a new movie called "Gasper" and that has nothing to do with the friendly ghost. On the contrary, it will be a bit racy according to 20th Century Fox who will produce and promote the movie. Another tween cutie is also...
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Funny story: Tarantino explains Inglourious basterds film title

Tarantino explains Inglourious basterds film title

Quentin Tarantino announced today that he spent 6 months locked in a room thinking for a agonizing over the title for his new film Inglourious basterds where a crack team of Jews scalp nazi's in the second world war. When interview recently he sa...
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Funny story: Group Questions Limbaugh's Genus

Group Questions Limbaugh's Genus

In the absence of hard evidence to the contrary conspiracy theorists continue to claim that Rush Limbaugh is not a member of the genus Homo sapiens. The group is demanding that Limbaugh certify that he in fact qualifies as modern man. Their initial i...
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Funny story: Shatner Does Palin Once

Shatner Does Palin Once

Everyone who caught the Conan O'Brien Show got a rare treat on Monday night-William Shatner reciting Sarah Palin's farewell speech in the style of a 50's beat poet. Dressed fittingly in black, Shatner had a little trouble with the iambic penta...
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Funny story: America's Got Talent Shocker: Kari Callen and 9-Year-Old Guitarist Sent Home

America's Got Talent Shocker: Kari Callen and 9-Year-Old Guitarist Sent Home

HOLLYWOOD - Two of the America's Got Talent contestants who many felt would at least make it into the Top Ten have been eliminated. The middle-aged Seattle singer Kari Callen who was born with a bio-lateral lip cleft and palate has fallen by the w...
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Funny story: Gossip Cop Gives TheSpoof 99% Accuracy

Gossip Cop Gives TheSpoof 99% Accuracy

Gossip Cop, The New Snopes Of What's Real In Gossip, Says TheSpoof 99% Accuracy! No don't turn there for this article because it's 99% right so why believe them if they now come back and say TheSpoof is 99% wrong. I mean, how could you ever believ...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown strikes back at swearing Tories

Gordon Brown strikes back at swearing Tories

Today Gordon Brown instantly struck back against the Tories blatantly swearing to attract younger votes. On the radio today David Cameron replied when asked about Twitter "The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it - too many twits might ma...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson seen buying fish and chips in Scarborough

Michael Jackson seen buying fish and chips in Scarborough

Michael Jackson the former king of pop was today seen buying his favourite meal of Fish and chips in a chip shop in Scarborough. It was widely known the former king of pop's favourite meal was fish and chips but no one was prepared for him coming ba...
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Funny story: Judge Sotomayor Arrested By Dogcatcher

Judge Sotomayor Arrested By Dogcatcher

Washington DC-- Supreme Court nominee Judge Sotomayor was briefly detained by a DC dogcatcher while she was taking a stroll last night. The judge was walking on the Mall when she found herself being tasered and tossed into the back of a dogcatcher's...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus to change her name by deed poll

Miley Cyrus to change her name by deed poll

Teen singing sensation Miley Cyrus is to change her name by deed poll next week. Her manager said that the singer was getting totally fed up with the rhyming schemes and slang the tabloid newspapers continued to use. She said that she could ju...
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Funny story: The Mystery of The Magus

The Mystery of The Magus

When renovation was carried out on an old tudor house reputed to be one of the most haunted houses in England workmen discovered that there was a loose piece of stone flooring which when lifted led to an underground chamber. The chamber contained the equipment and manuscripts of a medieval alchemist and MAGUS called Geoffrey Carlyle. The Magus was known in history for conjuring up demons...
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Funny story: Twenty20 Football

Twenty20 Football

The Premier League chiefs stunned the world with a football version of the twenty20 cricket tournament. Premier League officials keen to profit from the success and popularity of crickets twenty20 tournament format have announced plans to have thei...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck calls Obama "a racist": But I meant it in a good way!

Glenn Beck calls Obama "a racist": But I meant it in a good way!

Right wing broadcaster Glenn Beck called President Barack Obama "a racist" on Tuesday morning's airing of Fox and Friends. When the Federal Communications Commission threatened to fine him, Beck back pedaled and said, "Well, I meant it in a good way...
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Funny story: Michael Vick Signs With The Detroit Lions

Michael Vick Signs With The Detroit Lions

DETROIT - Recently released convict Michael Vick has just been signed by the Detroit Lions. The Lions who last year had the worst record in the history of the National Football League at 0-16 are thrilled beyond belief to land the services of this...
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Funny story: Bo Obama a Cuban spy

Bo Obama a Cuban spy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a shocking press conference at the White House this morning, underqualified Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced that Bo Obama - the President's dog, is in fact a confirmed cuban spy. Sources report that the dog has been opera...
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Funny story: "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner Makes America's Got Talent Top 40

"Kentucky" Kevin Skinner Makes America's Got Talent Top 40

LOS ANGELES - The former chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky has made it into the top 40 of America's Got Talent. The three judges all said that they truly feel that Kevin has the potential to make it all of the way. Judge David Hasselhoff...
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Funny story: Hey Pistelero, There Is No "Ass" in "Astna"

Hey Pistelero, There Is No "Ass" in "Astna"

MADRID, SPAIN Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong of America, who had criticized his Astana teammate Alberto Contador of Spain as being inexperienced earlier this year, responded on Twitter to fresh criticism leveled by Contador. C...
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Funny story: Is Corn-Fed K-Fed Too Well-Fed?

Is Corn-Fed K-Fed Too Well-Fed?

COTO DE CAZA, CA Kevin Federline got a lot of attention when he attended Ryan Sheckler's X Games Celebrity Skins Classic at the Cota de Caza Golf and Racquet Club on Monday, July 27, 2009 in Coto De Caza, California. Just not the kind he's used to g...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Says Fans Make Him Sick And That He's Had Enough

Rob Pattinson Says Fans Make Him Sick And That He's Had Enough

Superstar and erstwhile vampire actor Rob Pattinson today announced that he was sick to death of his so-called fans and said he'd had enough of the showbiz industry. Allegedly. He allegedly - but as yet unconfirmed - told me, and me alone: "...
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Funny story: Obama: Yes, I'm an Alien.

Obama: Yes, I'm an Alien.

In a shocking statement to the press, Barack Obama finally admitted that he was not born in Hawaii. "I am," he said, "a brother from another planet." Obama confessed that he used his alien time machine to go back to 1961 and fake his own birth certif...
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Funny story: Dallas Police Looking For Illegal Lawn Waterers

Dallas Police Looking For Illegal Lawn Waterers

DALLAS - The Dallas Police Department has issued a warning that anyone caught illegally watering their lawns will be subject to a fine. The city of Dallas which is home to the Cowboys, the Mavericks,and the Tall Texan Condom Company is looking as...
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Funny story: Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-11

Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-11

Having reached the camp, the new truck driver was tied to the same post. Now, the gag was removed. The man started swearing. Major's command, "Captain, testicles" silenced the man. Now, Major said: o Do you know who I am? o No. o I am Yusef's nephew, and this man was my late uncle's boss you stole his herd. Remember? o No, Sir. You're mistaken. I am a poor truck driver. I am not a thief. Now...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson analysis communism

Robert Pattinson analysis communism

Robert Pattinson today gave an interview on his concepts of communism and capitalism. Pattinson explains that Capitalism helps Communism because Capitalism deteriorates an enemy's social structure. Robert Pattinson explains that Capitalism causes...
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Funny story: Naughty Monkey Strikes Again

Naughty Monkey Strikes Again

As Sarah Palin was speaking at a picnic in her hometown, Wasilla, AK, on July 26, delivering her farewell address to an audience of mostly supporters and admirers, she closed her statements by attacking the press for "making things up." She then led...
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Funny story: The Spy With The World's Largest Penis Writes A Poem

The Spy With The World's Largest Penis Writes A Poem

The spy with the world's largest penis, Bargis Tryhol, working out of MI6 on the South Bank of the Thames, near Waterloo Station has elected to stop serving the ladies with a portion in order to concentrate on poetry. Tryhol, somewhat dapper in a...
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Funny story: Biedermann Beats Our Boy in Arena Astro-glide Suit!

Biedermann Beats Our Boy in Arena Astro-glide Suit!

ROME, ITALY At the World Swimming Championships in Rome today, German Paul Biedermann finished more than a second ahead of 14-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps of America to win the 200-meter freestyle. It was the first time in four years tha...
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Funny story: Large Penis/Vagina Stories With Lots Of F***ing Swearing Unlikely To Succeed In Rating Chart Say Spoof Administrators.

Large Penis/Vagina Stories With Lots Of F***ing Swearing Unlikely To Succeed In Rating Chart Say Spoof Administrators.

Administrators from satirical website TheSpoof.com today informed their lunatic contributors that satirical articles involving extreme bad language, with words such as 'fu*ck' and 'cu*nt' and 'her*ring' would not be tolerated much longer as such prac...
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Funny story: Tree hugger arrested for sex with sapling

Tree hugger arrested for sex with sapling

Paul Bunyan claims to love trees;at least that is what he says. Forestry police claim he loves trees too much--to the point he has sexually assaulted a very young tree, a sapling, in fact. Bunyan was arrested for illegally fondling a fir tree Wedne...
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Funny story: UK Going Mad For Naziism Communism Egalitarianism, Any Ism Aside From Thatcherism

UK Going Mad For Naziism Communism Egalitarianism, Any Ism Aside From Thatcherism

As the UK reels under the devastating onslaught of a lack of 'isms' causing widespread suffering among a populace tragically deprived of 'isms' international observers have stepped in with an amazing 'ism' stimulus package. Naziism was proposed by...
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Funny story: Verne Troyer Catches Up With Jalapenoman at Las Cruces Taqueria

Verne Troyer Catches Up With Jalapenoman at Las Cruces Taqueria

LAS CRUCES, NM - A fast food fiesta turned into a midget massacre today when Verne Troyer finally caught up with Jalapenoman at El Taco Timbre in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Reports indicate the 2' 8" American actor and stunt performer was "burned up"...
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Funny story: Palin Re-Joins Alaska Independence Party-Wants to be PM of Canada

Palin Re-Joins Alaska Independence Party-Wants to be PM of Canada

Wasilla, AK - Former Gov. Sarah Palin has reportedly re-joined the Alaska Independence Party as party leader saying "I've had enough of those there ungrateful Americans. God willin' with me as leader of the AIP, we're not only gonna secede from the...
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Funny story: Government Phone Call to a Senior Citizen Reported

Government Phone Call to a Senior Citizen Reported

Peoria IL: Mandatory "End-of-Life" counseling for seniors by a state-appointed practitioner is included in House Speaker Pelosi's Health Care Reform Bill. Senior citizens will soon be receiving telephone calls from the federal government. Teleph...
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Funny story: Fans Demand King of Poop Nod for Nobel Taking the Piss Prize

Fans Demand King of Poop Nod for Nobel Taking the Piss Prize

OSLO, NORWAY A Los Angeles student is leading a campaign of Michael Jackson fans who hope to land the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola a Nobel Peace Prize nomination. Over 2000 Jacksonites have signed on-line petitions in support of the campaign in th...
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