Funny story: White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises Issues Daily Press Release

White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises Issues Daily Press Release

The White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises issued the following statement for Tuesday, July 28th, 2009: "On this day, a day like any other day in our free and racially equal land where things like a man's birth place and skin color don'...
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Funny story: California Bi-Athlete Tries for Dual Titles: Fudge Packing/Weenie Gulping!

California Bi-Athlete Tries for Dual Titles: Fudge Packing/Weenie Gulping!

San Francisco, California/Wrinkled Scrotum News - Due to the recent $26B state Bankruptcy , local Fudgies are rooting for one of their own in this internationally acclaimed Fudge Packing Event, and hope other ass holes flocking to the event wil...
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Funny story: World Champion Fudge Packer Admits He Wanted to Be a Cowboy

World Champion Fudge Packer Admits He Wanted to Be a Cowboy

Thomas Craig, formerly of San Fagcisco but now in Washington, D.C., is the current title holder World Champion Fudge Packer. In a meeting in the White House Press Room to introduce him as a new worker in the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty...
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Funny story: World Champion Fudge Packer Moves to Washington D.C.

World Champion Fudge Packer Moves to Washington D.C.

Thomas Craig, world champion fudge packer from San Fagcisco, California, has taken a presidential appointment and will be relocating to Washington, D.C.. Craig, who will work in the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises, is excited by th...
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Funny story: World Fudge Packing Champion to Appear on Oprah Winfrey

World Fudge Packing Champion to Appear on Oprah Winfrey

Thomas Craig, winner of the World Fudge Packing Championships, will appear on the Oprah Winfrey talk show this week. The news was announced by show spokesperson Barbarbara Gurt. Craig, a native of San Fagcisco, was excited by the prospects of app...
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Funny story: La Toya Jackson Wants Barney Miller To Investigate Michael Jackson's Murder

La Toya Jackson Wants Barney Miller To Investigate Michael Jackson's Murder

Los Angeles, CA La Toya Jackson had a press conference outlining her wish to have several famous names in law enforcement and crime investigation to come forward and aid in the investigation of the murder of her brother, Michael Jackson. Ms. Jacks...
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Funny story: Jackson nominated for Nobel Piss Prize

Jackson nominated for Nobel Piss Prize

Cyberspace - (Wacko Jacko Mess): An internet campaign is petitioning to give Michael Jackson a posthumous Nobel Piss Prize for supplying the LAPD with a DNA sample via an involuntary opening of both the urethral and external anal sphincters. Hunrd...
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Funny story: Local Man to Compete in World Fudge Packing Championship

Local Man to Compete in World Fudge Packing Championship

(Newsdesk, San Fagcisco, California) Local champion Thomas Craig is nervous about his competition this week as he contends for a world title. "When I look at the other men, it just makes me so twittery and spastic," said Craig. "I just hope that my...
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Funny story: Innovative Canadian Automobile runs on Meat Pellets

Innovative Canadian Automobile runs on Meat Pellets

Ottawa - Canada has long lagged behind the US and Asia in development of innovative modes of transportation. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper now believes that the latest technological developments engineer by Canadian scientist will leap frog the old internal combustion engine and bring Canada much deserved fame and fortune. Developed in conjunction with the Royal and Ancient Association...
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Funny story: Pork And Cheese Lady Disputes Pigs Recollection Of Henry Gates Break-in

Pork And Cheese Lady Disputes Pigs Recollection Of Henry Gates Break-in

Cambridge, MA - A lady of Pork And Cheese descent, the caller who dialed 911 on that uppity Harvard professor, Henry Gates, is claiming the Pigs are lying when they say she identified Professor Gates as a black dude. Ms. Whelan, the caller, says...
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Funny story: Doctors Warn Of New Swine Flu Source

Doctors Warn Of New Swine Flu Source

Doctors in the United States and Liechtenstein have come to the same conclusion, the Swine Flu can now be spread by sending messages through the internet. In fact, this very message has given you a 50/50 chance of it but how would you know if it was...
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Funny story: Wedding Aisle Dancers Kicked Off Dancing with the Stars

Wedding Aisle Dancers Kicked Off Dancing with the Stars

New York, NY - The entire wedding party dancers from the now infamous wedding of Kevin and Jill Heinz have been thrown off Dancing With the Stars on ABC when it was learned that they were scheduled to be finalists on So You Think You Can Dance on...
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Funny story: McDonald's Ronald Quits!

McDonald's Ronald Quits!

The worldwide fast-food outlet's Ronald McDonald has unmasked himself after being abused on the internet by hundreds of children via his Facebook homepage. The Man behind the make-up said to the President/Director of McDonalds "I have been abused...
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Funny story: Peter Andre tells Jordan to go F*ck Herself

Peter Andre tells Jordan to go F*ck Herself

ATPN, London - Peter Andre, spurned lover of former page 3 silicone ridden Jordan IfThePriceIsRight (aka Katie), vowed this week to sue the bitch for hinting that he'd hidden another lover in the dungeon of their Brighton lovenest. "What she's sai...
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Funny story: Wacko Jacko's Faux Nose Repo'ed!

Wacko Jacko's Faux Nose Repo'ed!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Citing witnesses who saw the late King of Pop Michael Jackson's body on the autopsy table, a report in the August issue of the "Rolling Stone" magazine reveals that Jackson did indeed wear a prosthetic nose, and it was missing...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Catches Wife 'At It' With Another Man

Spoof Writer Catches Wife 'At It' With Another Man

A writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com was released from police custody this morning after finding his wife in bed with another man. The writer was arrested following a vicious assault on his naked victim. Reports reached us that the writer...
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Funny story: British Government to rename the Taliban

British Government to rename the Taliban

Gordon Brown's government have decided to rename the terrorist group "Taliban" to the friendlier sounding "Moderate Taliban". This is a major step forward in the government's policy of downgrading difficult situations with a more user friendly wo...
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Funny story: Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Has Not Been Buried Yet

Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Has Not Been Buried Yet

The top 10 reasons why Michael Jackson has not been buried yet are: 10. The family figures it can milk far more sympathy c.d. and memorabilia sales this way. In life, Michael Jackson struggled for decades to reach the record-smashing sales he achieved with 1983's landmark "Thriller" album. But since his unexpected passing on June 25 at the age of 50, the self-proclaimed King of Pop has once aga...
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Funny story: Paula Abdul Replaced by Susan Boyle

Paula Abdul Replaced by Susan Boyle

The Fox Network has just reported that Paula Abdul is out and Susan Boyle is in as the next American Idol judge. When asked what she thought about spending a few months seated next to Simon Cowell, Boyle replied, "Well, if I can't have Piers, then I...
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Funny story: More Differences between an American and a Canadian

More Differences between an American and a Canadian

America fought a war to secure their freedom from England Canada prefers to remain as serfs to England and the 'royal family' America fought a Civil War to end the business practice of slavery introduced by England Canada prefers to remain as serfs to England and 'royal family' American citizens speak hundred of languages from around the world Canada's citizens, unable to understand eac...
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Funny story: Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young To Open For Adam Lambert

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young To Open For Adam Lambert

LOS ANGELES - The Stampeding Stallions Management Agency which manages the 70s icon band, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young has just issued a news release stating that CSN&Y has signed to tour in September as Adam Lambert's opening act. The to...
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Funny story: World War II: the real story

World War II: the real story

In mind blowingly staggering news, World War II has been exposed as a cinematic fake recreated on several Hollywood sound stages by directors including John Ford, Cecil B DeMille, Howard Hawks and even Charlie Chaplin. All the momentous events fr...
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Funny story: Led Zepplin's Plant 'a train wreck waiting to happen'

Led Zepplin's Plant 'a train wreck waiting to happen'

London - (Toxic Mess): An addiction therapissed (sic) has slammed Led Zepplin frontman Robert Plant as a 'train wreck waiting to happen' after colliding with him on North London's notorious Harrowing Road. Dave Skag, crack counsellor with celeb re...
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Funny story: New posthumous Michael Jackson single causes uproar and cries of bad taste

New posthumous Michael Jackson single causes uproar and cries of bad taste

As a testament to his concern for children worldwide, Michael Jackson has posthumously released an album of nursery rhymes, the proceeds from which are to go to children's charities throughout the world. Even Jonathan Ross, one of the UK's foremos...
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Funny story: Re-scheduled Michael Jackson concerts announced

Re-scheduled Michael Jackson concerts announced

Following the recent death of pop star Michael Jackson from lack of breathing, the re-scheduling of his string of previously cancelled concerts has been announced. The tour kicks off in late August for a week at the 400,000-seat Zombie Stadium in...
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Funny story: A Series of Unfortunate Events

A Series of Unfortunate Events

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA A panel of top scientists which convened in Los Angeles this week has issued a unanimous statement in which they unequivocally attribute the recent series of unusual natural phenomena to the repeated attempted burials of the late...
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Funny story: Danica Patrick Wins NASCAR'S Yucatan 800

Danica Patrick Wins NASCAR'S Yucatan 800

X-CAN, Yucatan - Danica Patrick the first American female NASCAR driver to race in Mexico has just won The 2009 Yucatan 800. This is one of the most prestigious auto races in all of the Republic of Mexico. The Y-800 is sponsored by the makers of T...
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Funny story: Flintoff Admits to Demons

Flintoff Admits to Demons

Andrew Flintoff yesterday admitted what many had suspected for some time. In a remarkably frank interview in a darkened bar in the centre of Manchester, the 6'3" 32 stone fast drinker stated that he wanted to, "put some demons behind me." "Yes, I...
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Funny story: Grumpy Geezer from Govan Glasgow

Grumpy Geezer from Govan Glasgow

A Grumpy pensioner from Govan in Glasgow has caused major disputes between neighbours because he has complained about children and dogs. David McGregor fed up with dogs fouling in his garden and with pesky little gits who keep ringing his doorbell th...
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Funny story: Felipe Massa Runs Into Michael Jackson's Nose - Crashes

Felipe Massa Runs Into Michael Jackson's Nose - Crashes

Budapest, Hungary - Ferrari F1 driver Felipe Massa was hit by Michael Jackson's nose while doing time trials at the grand prix in Hungary this past weekend. He is currently in a drug induced (Propofol) coma after having undergone surgery to relieve s...
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Funny story: The Six Million Dollar Pop Star

The Six Million Dollar Pop Star

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The world was stunned today when concert promoters AEG unveiled their cyborg, the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Scavenging the portion of Jackson's brain previously in custody of the Los Angeles medical examiner's office,...
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Funny story: Thatcher Admits Her Hate List

Thatcher Admits Her Hate List

Margaret Thatcher has finally admitted she hates the French, the Germans and anybody north of London. She hates the Welsh, the Irish, the Scots who she gave the poll tax to first and she further said she does not like geordies and believes they shoul...
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Funny story: Where's Wacko?

Where's Wacko?

NYC, NY, USA The publishing industry was given fresh hope of recovery today when Martin Handford, British creator of the wildly popular "Where's Waldo?" series of children's books announced the release of a new series of books titles "Where's Wacko?"...
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Funny story: Teleportation Device - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

Teleportation Device - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that teleportation will be possible within the next sixty years. A hand helded device about the size of a mobile phone will be available to everyone to teleport to wherever they want on the planet. No more trying to find a parking space for your car in a busy city centre or waiting for hours on a bus only for ten to come at once.
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Funny story: Samantha Ronson & Lindsay Lohan On Us Weekly's Annual Swimsuit Issue

Samantha Ronson & Lindsay Lohan On Us Weekly's Annual Swimsuit Issue

She [Samantha Ronson, people!] is on the cover of Us Weekly's annual swimsuit issue and she is Samantha Ronson! Oh, wait! There is also Lindsay Lohan! The two girls 'decided' according to execs in the magazine to do this photoshoot ''together beca...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Get Long In The Hair- Oh, Where's The Air?

Miley Cyrus Get Long In The Hair- Oh, Where's The Air?

Brat Miley Cyrus sported new hair extensions while enjoying a walk with new on/off boyfriend/unemployed artista, Javier Booboota, on July 27 in Toluca Lake, California. The 16-year-old actress hit up Ken Paveis' salon in West Hollywood last night.
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Funny story: Dr.90210: "Miley Cyrus Under The Knife Is Nothing New!"

Dr.90210: "Miley Cyrus Under The Knife Is Nothing New!"

In her few years on TV and on stage, doll Miley Cyrus has already done more than many other celebrities twice her age have accomplished; we're talking plastic surgeries here. Though, she star was lately quoted as saying, "My dad won't let me fix...
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Funny story: Under Pressure, Army Unleashes New Recruiting Campaign

Under Pressure, Army Unleashes New Recruiting Campaign

With Defense Secretary Bobert (Bob) Gates calling for an increase of 22,000 soldiers, concerns are growing that the graying pitch of ARMY STRONG might not get the job done. "Though that guileless slogan had caught the eyes (and recruiter assiste...
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Funny story: Queen Launches New Twitter Diary

Queen Launches New Twitter Diary

Her Majesty The Queen announced yesterday that she is to launch her own entry on Twitter! "One is surrounded by buffoons, inbeciles and twits, and in a world where we are all equal, it is of great importance to me that my subjects have a glimpse i...
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Funny story: Chancellor wants Banks Money

Chancellor wants Banks Money

The Chancellor Alistair Darling is to meet Bank Bosses today to persuade them to lend to small businesses. He said that banks are still not lending enough to small businesses and he is going to see the bank bosses to see if a scheme can be set up...
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Funny story: Canadian Harpoon Ship

Canadian Harpoon Ship

A cruise ship arrived at the Port of Vancouver with a dead whale lodged on its bow.Christine Gibson, a campaigner against the Canadian Seal slaughter is furious claiming that Canadians are now using Cruise Ships as harpoons. Christine claimed she...
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Funny story: Olympic Funding Deficit

Olympic Funding Deficit

An investigation is underway as to why there is a 100 million pound funding deficit for the London Olympics of 2012. Some fundraisers are claiming the total was raised so they are mystified as to why 100 million seems to be missing. A spokesper...
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Funny story: Lumley Declared Queen

Lumley Declared Queen

Gurkha rights campaigner Joanna Lumley got a heroes welcome in Nepal yesterday because of her campaign to allow Gurkhas to stay in the UK. Lumley is to be declared Queen of Nepal and will start her campaign to bring the entire population of Nepal...
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Funny story: Joanna Lumley Arrested In Nepal

Joanna Lumley Arrested In Nepal

Actress Joanna Lumley has been arrested by police after arriving in Nepal for a week-long visit. Hundreds of protestors - among them scores of Gurkha veterans - gathered to voice their anger at the former Absolutely Fabulous star who was single-ha...
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Funny story: One Star Bandit Hunted Down In North Carolina

One Star Bandit Hunted Down In North Carolina

The notorious TheSpoof.com one star bandit was today tracked down to a motel in North Carolina by a self confessed stupid drunk-most-of -the time Spoof contributor known as Skoob 1999. As the cops screeched up in a variety of vehicles, Skoob, a du...
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Funny story: Muslims Are Correct About Pigs

Muslims Are Correct About Pigs

The Western world is agreeing with the Muslim world this morning after the Swine Flu epidemic pandemic virus has threatened to infect everyone on the Earth due to Westerners eating too much pigs. In Islam people are not allowed to eat pork because...
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Funny story: Florida Bans The Phrases 'See You Later Alligator' and 'After A While Crocodile'

Florida Bans The Phrases 'See You Later Alligator' and 'After A While Crocodile'

SARASOTA, Florida - PETA has won yet another battle. Dr. Oliver V. Chamski director of the Florida branch of PETA said that after a long fought battle the Florida supreme court has finally ruled in favor of PETA's demand that the state prohibit its c...
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Funny story: Nicolas Sarkozy Identified As Source Of Swine Flu

Nicolas Sarkozy Identified As Source Of Swine Flu

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has been identified as the source of Swine Flu in France after he was taken ill whilst out jogging in Paris today. The 54-year-old pig was running around the Chateau of Versailles, when he started to have convulsio...
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Funny story: Kate and Octomom the New Pitt and Jolie

Kate and Octomom the New Pitt and Jolie

Celebrity's newest couple, Kate Gosselin and Octomom, are quickly becoming the new Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie when it comes to adoption. By joining forces, sources close to the couple say that it is almost certain that Kate will adopt Octomom'...
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Funny story: Jack Meoff dead at 69: Conservative MP's death a "Toss Off-Toss Up" says ME

Jack Meoff dead at 69: Conservative MP's death a "Toss Off-Toss Up" says ME

Conservative MP Jack Meoff was found dead in his London flat Sunday, the apparent victim of a "Toss Off," said the Queen's Medical Examiner, Sir Ron Paul VI. "Whether or not Jack Meoff died as a result of excessive masturbation is, at this time, unk...
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Funny story: Octomom and Kate Create 'Momopoly' on Reality Shows

Octomom and Kate Create 'Momopoly' on Reality Shows

Octomom, and Kate Gosselin, of Jon and Kate Plus 8, have joined forces to create what may be the first momopoly of motherhood-related reality shows. With 22 kids between them, they've decided to pool the insane amounts of money being thrown at th...
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Funny story: French President, Sarkozy, Hospitalized with Erection Lasting Over 4-hours

French President, Sarkozy, Hospitalized with Erection Lasting Over 4-hours

Paris, France - French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, collapsed while jogging today. Reports are that it was shortly after he and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy had a lover's quarrel over lovemaking. Sarkozy disclosed to his attending physician at the hos...
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