Funny story: Prophet Mohammed Makes A Profit In Gaza

Prophet Mohammed Makes A Profit In Gaza

The Prophet Mohammed - may he be treated like a god, like Christians treat Jesus - today thanked the Israeli Defense Force for making his religion a healthy profit. 'Yes', he said, 'things weren't looking so good for me, then the Israelis started...
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Funny story: Crop Circles Found In Woman's Hair

Crop Circles Found In Woman's Hair

A Shropshire woman had the shock of her life yesterday, when she woke from her slumbers to find crop circles in her hair. Half-asleep mother-of-two, Mary Smith, was making breakfast for her children Amy, 4, and Jack, 2, when her daughter suddenly...
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Funny story: Obama Airlifted to Walter Reed Army Hospital Suffering from Panic Attack after Security Briefing!

Obama Airlifted to Walter Reed Army Hospital Suffering from Panic Attack after Security Briefing!

Washington,DC/ Office of the Surgeon General - Democrats are in a turmoil today after President Elect Obama collapsed, in what is being called a severe "Panic Attack" after receiving a joint briefing from the CIA, FBI, SEC, Homeland Security and hea...
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Funny story: BBC announces new presenters

BBC announces new presenters

After a disastrous year for the BBC, with scandals involving many of their overpaid and talentless presenters, today it announced that Messers Brand, Ross and Clarkson, and others, were to be replaced by new presenters. 'Top Gear' will now be pres...
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Funny story: Prince Harry Pocket Money To Be Stopped

Prince Harry Pocket Money To Be Stopped

Heir to the throne, Prince Charles, has told journalists he was "disgusted" with the racist comments made by his son, Prince Harry, and that he has stopped his pocket money "to focus his mind". Speaking this morning from the balcony at Buckingham...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton confirms she is a virgin once again

Paris Hilton confirms she is a virgin once again

Paris Hilton, chairman of the World Airhead Society, and for some very bizzare reason, known only to readers of trashy gossip magazines and newspapers without much news in (but plenty of bare breasts), a famous person, has announced that she is defin...
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Funny story: No Man Is an Island: A Critique of Individualism

No Man Is an Island: A Critique of Individualism

When I came into this world, I was a part of someone. My mother squeezed me out of a small, dark, aqueous environment inside her, and I burst forth into a strange, bright new world of air and unlimited space. My life as a true individual only began the moment the doctor cut the umbilical cord shared by my mother and me. I was helpless; instincts, instructions programmed into the genetic materia...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Out On The Lash Again

Amy Winehouse Out On The Lash Again

St Lucia, the Caribbean - Troubled diva Amy Winehouse has been seen here at her exclusive resort hideaway chugging on strawberry daiquiris like there's no tomorrow, and frequently ducking into the undergrowth with new squeeze 'Josh' for a series of s...
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Funny story: Richard Gere Now California's Biggest Gerbil Breeder

Richard Gere Now California's Biggest Gerbil Breeder

Actor Richard Gere has now gained the distinction of being the largest breeder of gerbils. The small animals are sold in pet stores for pets and as food for snakes and other reptiles. They are also used in scientific experiments and drug testing.
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Funny story: The Dartfast Diet

The Dartfast Diet

The World Darts Organisation today brought out its diet book, 'The 7-Day Dartfast Diet', and this is a summary - Day One: Have 20 fried eggs, 20 slices of toast, and smoke 60 cigarettes Day Two: Start the day with 1 chip buttie, followed by 20 ham sandwiches with mustard, then eat 57 bars of chocolate Day Three: 60 black puddings, 60 plates of chips, and 60 cups of sugary tea Day Four:...
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Funny story: How to speak about men and be politically correct

How to speak about men and be politically correct

He does not have a beer gut - He has developed a liquid grain storage facility He is not a bad dancer - He is overly Caucasian. He does not get lost all the time - He investigates alternative destinations. He is not balding - He is in follicle regression. He does not act like a total ass - He develops a case of rectal-cranial inversion. It's not his crack you see hanging out of hi...
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Funny story: How to speak about women and be politcally correct

How to speak about women and be politcally correct

She is not a babe or a chick - She is a breasted American. She is not easy - She is horizontally accessible. She is not a dumb blonde - She is a light-haired detour off the information superhighway. She has not been around - She is a previously-enjoyed companion. She does not nag you - She becomes verbally repetitive. She is not a two-bit hooker - She is a low cost provider.
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Funny story: MMR nutter Wakefield and pals up before the GMC

MMR nutter Wakefield and pals up before the GMC

London - (Raving Bonkers Mess): Three former Royal Freak Hospital quacks are up before the General Medical Council today defending their autism and legal aid gravy train scam. Dr Andrew Wakefield, Prof Simon Murch and Prof John Walker-Smith are ch...
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Funny story: The Word Chocolate Deemed TOO Offensive by European Union.

The Word Chocolate Deemed TOO Offensive by European Union.

Following the comments made on an old video made by Prince Harry, while serving in the British Army as a cadet Officer at Sandhurst, the word 'Chocolate' is now considered to be TOO offensive by the European Union. Do-gooders in Brussels have said; "...
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Funny story: Congress Approves Stool Tax To Fight Global Warming

Congress Approves Stool Tax To Fight Global Warming

(Washington DC) Congress approved today a special Stool Tax to help fight global warming. A $10.00 tax on stools was issued for everyone over the age of eighteen. The new law was the last one signed by George W. Bush and takes effect immediately.
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Funny story: Harry's rehabilitation kicks off with 'Slumdog II' star role

Harry's rehabilitation kicks off with 'Slumdog II' star role

London - (Racist Ass Mess): Prince Harry's is to star in a Bollywood sequel 'Slumdog Millionaire II'. The offer to rehabilitate himself from a foul-mouthed racist Nazi thug to a multiculturally diverse-thinking ethnically-sensitive new puppet mona...
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Funny story: Pierced Testicle Craze Sweeps University Campuses

Pierced Testicle Craze Sweeps University Campuses

At first, the only thing that people (mostly women and sailors) had pierced was their earlobes. This traveled all around the ears and eventually migrated to tongues, lips, eyebrows, nipples, and other body parts. The latest craze is now the pierc...
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Funny story: Alec Baldwin Admits To Addictions In New Book

Alec Baldwin Admits To Addictions In New Book

Alec Baldwin, known for his movie roles in The Hunt For Red October, The Good Shepherd and The Departed, admitted in a new book out by Christopher Kennedy Lawford, that not only has he had to overcome alcohol addiction but also snorting coke and spen...
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Funny story: Auto Show Shocker

Auto Show Shocker

Old-time radio hobbyists are abuzz over the latest prototype vehicle from Chrysler which was unveiled today at the 2009 Detroit Auto Show. Marking the 110th anniversary of the event, the Motor City's third biggest car maker showed off its revolutiona...
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Funny story: Obama Ignores Bible, Will Swear In On Koran

Obama Ignores Bible, Will Swear In On Koran

When Barack Hussein Obama is sworn in as President of the United States, he will not have one hand on the Bible (a tradition dating back to George Washington). He will, instead, take the oath of office with one hand on the Koran (the scripture book...
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Funny story: Portsmouth abandon Manchester City clash

Portsmouth abandon Manchester City clash

Saturday's Premiership clash between Pompey and Manchester City was abandoned when referee Mike Dean visited Frampton Park ahead of the game and discovered a tribe of Inuit living on the pitch. The Inuit normally live in Alaska, but had chosen to...
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Funny story: German Meteorologists Warn Against Peircings In Record Cold

German Meteorologists Warn Against Peircings In Record Cold

After Slovenia set a low record temperature of -49C this past weekend, Slovenia Media have reported recommendations of the meteorological institute of Germany, which says that body piercings could cause people who venture outside in very cold weather...
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Funny story: Shock and awe at Golden Globe awards

Shock and awe at Golden Globe awards

There was as much astonishment and surprise as there was traditional admiration at this year's Golden Globe awards handed out in Hollywood recently. T he usual toasting and glad handing for winners (and unlucky nominees) was witnessed and everybod...
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Funny story: Prince Harry Liberates Millions Of Ordinary People Who Thought They Were Being Racist

Prince Harry Liberates Millions Of Ordinary People Who Thought They Were Being Racist

Prince Harry, the nation's favourite ginger-haired person, is being vaunted as a liberator this morning, after it was officially announced by the government that his racist comments about Pakis weren't racist at all, but just good, clean, wholesome f...
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Funny story: Verne Cleans Up in Big Bro

Verne Cleans Up in Big Bro

HE MAY be microscopic in stature but Big Brother hot favourite Verne Troyer is making big noises in the Big Brother house. Verne, measuring in at 2ft 8 inches tall, needs special assistance to make himself heard in the Diary Room. He can't re...
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Funny story: Windows Seven Released

Windows Seven Released

Microsoft unveiled Windows 7 on Saturday, demonstrating the multitude of features that the new version of the operating system has to offer. The overwhelming of the download servers is not Microsoft's biggest headache for the new product though. "...
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Funny story: Snowman Goes Berserk And Attacks Two Kids

Snowman Goes Berserk And Attacks Two Kids

Madison WI-- An angry snowman lost its mind over the weekend and began attacking the two boys that created it. Madison detectives say the snowman became enraged after the boys used a carrot to make its nose. The little brothers weren't hurt. They...
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Funny story: New Apple Toaster

New Apple Toaster

Apple have decided to move out of the computer lab and into the kitchen - Apple's latest invention is the iToast toaster. "We've examined the concept of the toaster from the ground up to see what people really want out of a toaster, and built a ma...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell To Interfere In Snooker Demise

Simon Cowell To Interfere In Snooker Demise

Simon Cowell, the X-Factor judge, and of many other such trashy, throwaway talentless competitions, is tonight involved in consultations with Snooker's governing body, to thrash out a rescue plan for the dying sport. Yes, that's right, "a dying sp...
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Funny story: Kate Winslet Wins Award

Kate Winslet Wins Award

Kate Winslet won two awards last night. The actress won a Golden Globe for her portrayal of somebody or other in a film which was almost certainly about something or other. But more significantly, the actress picked up the award for 'Most Nause...
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Funny story: Snoop Dogg Millionaire Wins Award At Carlisle Film Festival

Snoop Dogg Millionaire Wins Award At Carlisle Film Festival

The short film, 'Snoop Dogg Millionaire' has won an award at the fourth annual Carlisle Film Festival. The eight minute film, directed by Fred Spielburger won the award for 'Best Film About A Talentless Rapper Who Made Millions Out Of Preaching St...
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Funny story: Army A Racist Institution - Shock, Horror

Army A Racist Institution - Shock, Horror

Hot on the heels of Prince Harry's racist video shame, in which he used such endearingly affectionate terms as 'Paki' and 'Raghead' come allegations that the army is a racist institution. Professor Finneas Fogg of Liverpool University (surely a co...
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Funny story: Man Arrested Sexual Charges

Man Arrested Sexual Charges

Poland - A contortionist was accused of having sex with himself pleaded not guilty to charges Friday. Chelsey Bindle, 19, of Richedile, is accused of having multiple sex with himself that began when he was able to bend over backwards. Bindle wa...
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Funny story: Accrington Alien Invasion Ends With A Whimper Not A Bang

Accrington Alien Invasion Ends With A Whimper Not A Bang

Accrington - It is with some relief that this reporter can confirm that the alien invasion of Accrington Lancs is finally over. Following days of ray gun fire, death ray useage, light sabre duelling, golf club abuse and other related malarkey, the...
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Funny story: Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...
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Funny story: Twin Brother Goes Against the "Bros Before Hos" Code

Twin Brother Goes Against the "Bros Before Hos" Code

Dearest Madame Bitters, I'm so upset with my twin brother and my girlfriend that I just don't know what to do! "Staci" and I have been going together since junior year of high school and she's the only girl I've ever loved. We're both 20 now and lately we've been talking about marriage. I thought everything was fine but three days ago she told me that she and my brother "Keith" have been have b...
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Funny story: BATF raids FDA over its aspartame

BATF raids FDA over its aspartame

WASHINGTON, DC - Mr. Joe Shexpeck, cab driver, reported that heavily armed agents from the BATF raided the offices of the FDA last night. Dr. Strangedeath of the FDA explained: the BATF being the agency responsible for the control of alcohol, they...
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Funny story: Kicked Down Under

Kicked Down Under

Canterbury - A skateboarder and a teenage grandfather survived separate genital attacks in New England this morning, just two weeks after a taxi driver was believed to have been kicked in the testicles by a large Kangaroo in the country's west end.
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Funny story: Darts Player Pins Opponent To Board

Darts Player Pins Opponent To Board

There was chaos tonight during the final of the British Darts World Championship when one of the finalists threw a dart at his opponent, pinning him to the dartboard with his first dart, and then scoring two match-winning bullseyes with his second an...
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Funny story: Revolution in Venezuela Reported

Revolution in Venezuela Reported

Washington DC: It is being reporting that a revolution has taken place in Venezuela. Confirmation has been received from Speedy Gonzalez the leader of the Junta of Army Generals, which deposed President Hugo Chavez in a bloodless coup. President...
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