Funny story: Former FDA officials confess aspartame is poison

Former FDA officials confess aspartame is poison

WASHINGTON, DC - Former FDA officials, who wish to remain unnamed, confided to this reporter that the FDA knew all along that aspartame was poison, but was directed by the National Security Council to approve it to reduce the number one security issu...
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Funny story: Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day. 7. Dogs find...
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Funny story: Man City To Sign Lookalikees

Man City To Sign Lookalikees

Fed up Manchester City manager Mark Hughes says he's tired of wasting his efforts pursuing football's top names and will instead form a team made up entirely of lookalikees having this week signed the likes of Kaka, Ronaldo Messi and 1966 World Cup w...
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Funny story: Prince Charles, Camillo To Use Private Jet On "Green Tour"

Prince Charles, Camillo To Use Private Jet On "Green Tour"

Prince Charles was accused of hypocrisy last night for using a private jet on an 'environmental' tour of South America. The prince will travel to the region next month in a visit costing an estimated £300,000 as part of his personal crusade agains...
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Funny story: Hip Hop Harry arrested for indecent exposure

Hip Hop Harry arrested for indecent exposure

In breaking news, Hip Hop Harry was arrested today for allegedly exposing himself, and masturbating in front of a rack of Barbie Dolls at a Meijer's Thrifty Acre Superstore located in Detroit, Michigan. Details were still coming in at this hour, but...
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Funny story: Kiss My Mistress

Kiss My Mistress

Iconic glam rock band Kiss have released a single called My Mistress which has gone straight into the US singles charts at number four. The group, which has re-formed many times and in many different line-ups since their debut in 1973, is famous for...
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Funny story: Hip Hop Harry, Sponge Bob Squarepants and C-Funk arrested for hit on Barney

Hip Hop Harry, Sponge Bob Squarepants and C-Funk arrested for hit on Barney

There is breaking news this morning out of Compton, California where police just arrested Hip Hop Harry, C-Funk, and Sponge Bob Squarepants for the drive-by shooting of Barney, the purple dinosaur loved dearly by millions of children nationwide. W...
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Funny story: California gangs move into 21st century

California gangs move into 21st century

Gangs across California have moved into the 21st century by becoming more tolerant of differences in human sexual behaviors. At least 3 gangs in northern California have started gay and lesbian chapters as a way to increase membership, turf territori...
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Funny story: Octuplets Mom Is A Proper Dog

Octuplets Mom Is A Proper Dog

She should never have done it. She should have just left it alone. But she didn't. The mother of EIGHT babies, all at once, Nadya Sillywoman, of Witless Ca, unemployed, with six kids already and jobless, had the effrontery to pose for photographs...
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Funny story: Steven Seagal Injured in Guitar Hero Accident

Steven Seagal Injured in Guitar Hero Accident

Action movie star Steven Seagal was admitted to hospital last week after suffering a sprained testicle while playing the popular Guitar Hero game on the Xbox 360. Seagal is claimed to have been attempting the elusive 'Double Whammy-Bar Deflect wit...
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Funny story: Virtual-Rape Computer Game Pulled

Virtual-Rape Computer Game Pulled

A shocking rape-simulator computer game has been pulled from shelves after the game's manufacturer received widespread condemnation for its contents. Players of "Rapelay" that was created by a Japanese production house, stalk and sexually assault...
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Funny story: Firehouse Burns To The Ground...Again!

Firehouse Burns To The Ground...Again!

Believe it or not, a fire station in Syke, Germany, was destroyed last week after it burned to the ground. It took six fire engines with it along with equipment, cost over # million dollars by early estimates, according to the Austrian Times. The...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Wins Them Over!

Jessica Simpson Wins Them Over!

Jessica Simpson opened for Rascal Flatts at Madison Square Gardens Friday night without forgetting the lyrics to her songs and crying. Jessica was wearing a skirt. She explained between songs that sometimes when she was wearing pants or short...
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Funny story: Shilpa Shetty voodoo hex blamed for Goody woes

Shilpa Shetty voodoo hex blamed for Goody woes

London - (Karmic Crap Mess): BNP fans of Jade Goody's 2007 Celebrity Racist Big Brother rant are in hiding this weekend after blaming a Shilpa Shetty 'voodoo hex' for the stricken reality TV contestant's woes. "Shetty invoked the wrath of Kali, go...
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Funny story: Scotland Adopts Prohibition

Scotland Adopts Prohibition

Scotland has decided to adopt radical new alcohol prohibition laws. Under the scheme it will become illegal to serve, sell or drink alcohol anywhere in Scotland apart from on New Year's Eve. The new laws, which come into effect on May 1st 2009, wil...
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Funny story: Scientists Identify New Disability

Scientists Identify New Disability

Scientists and Medical Doctors have identified a new disability that was formerly considered another form of laziness. This is good news for an estimated 250,000 people in the world that suffer from this syndrome. "Microwave Programmers Disabilit...
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Funny story: Darts could star in 2012 Olympics

Darts could star in 2012 Olympics

Olympic organisers are meeting today to discuss the possible inclusion of new sports for the 2012 Olympics. Senior officials from the governing bodies of various sports will make a case for their applications to be included. A vote will determine w...
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Funny story: Jade Goody all set for role in Eastenders

Jade Goody all set for role in Eastenders

Cancer ridden tabloid cod piece Jade Goody was said to be delighted after the make a wish foundation granted her wish of appearing in long running BBC television show eastenders. It's thought the former big brother, celebrity big brother and racis...
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Funny story: Olympic construction delay: Brown's wallet found

Olympic construction delay: Brown's wallet found

Workers carrying out construction work on the 2012 Olympic Games site in London were forced to halt duties for some time after a worker discovered a wallet bearing the name of UK Prime Minister Mr Gordon Brown. A phone call was made by the constr...
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Funny story: "Antimacassars Useless" claims What Chair? magazine

"Antimacassars Useless" claims What Chair? magazine

Antimacassars, the small material or crocheted pads designed to fit on the headrests of chairs, have been proven not to work. In extensive testing, What Chair? magazine found that they did very little to prevent upholstery infestation by the Common...
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Funny story: Moon Splits in Two

Moon Splits in Two

In a dramatic St Valentine's Day Event the Dark side of the Moon separated from the Light and slowly slipped off to its own orbit on the opposite side of Earth. Lovers all over the World stood and watched in awe and wonderment as the Luna Severin...
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Funny story: Roy 'Chubby' Brown Sued Under Trade Descriptions Act

Roy 'Chubby' Brown Sued Under Trade Descriptions Act

The world of show business went into a blue funk today as news emerged that a Doncaster man was suing 'comedian' Roy 'Chubby' Brown under the Trade Descriptions Act. "This man bills himself as a comedian," Mr Patrick Bollix, of Doncaster told us.
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Funny story: Parliament Toilets To Be Fitted With Thrutching Bars

Parliament Toilets To Be Fitted With Thrutching Bars

Parliament this morning authorised a £10 million scheme to fit thrutching bars in all toilet stalls in the house, prompting calls from opposition MPs for the resignation of Gordon Brown and the abolition of slavery. Dave 'do nothing' Cameron decli...
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Funny story: Jacko Seen Lurking Near Octuplets

Jacko Seen Lurking Near Octuplets

Nowhere CA -- Former King of Pop, Micheal (Jacko) Jackson, has been seen hanging around the hospital floor where the famous octuplets were born last week. The bizarrely dressed Jacko "looked like something from Night of the Living Dead." according t...
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Funny story: Obama's $787 Billion Economic Stimulus To Be Wired To Nigerian Accounts

Obama's $787 Billion Economic Stimulus To Be Wired To Nigerian Accounts

WASHINGTON (FMLIVEWIRE) -- The US Congress approved the $787 billion economic stimulus bill on Friday sought by the Obama administration, with the proviso that the money will first be wired to special Nigerian offshore accounts as recommended by seni...
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Funny story: New Chelsea Drama As 'Guus Hiddink' Discovered To Mean Something Rude In Holland

New Chelsea Drama As 'Guus Hiddink' Discovered To Mean Something Rude In Holland

There was a new twist to the Chelsea managerial saga this morning, when language experts who had worked through the night discovered that the strange-sounding name of the new boss, Dutchman Guus Hiddink, means something rude in Holland. Hiddink,...
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Funny story: Obama's shocking "stimulus package" for Bankers

Obama's shocking "stimulus package" for Bankers

With the Senate finally approving Barak Obama's $787billion stimulus package for the economy, a little-read sub-section in small print on page 492 has come to light. $8000 of the money is to be used to "stimulate" the testicles of Bank executives...
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Funny story: French Answer to Illegal Immigration

French Answer to Illegal Immigration

The French Government, has teamed up with Eurostar to cure their illegal immigrant problem . A new "Sangatte " is to be built, with funding from Eurostar, not at Calais, as first suspected, but in Paris. The location is to allay fears in Britain...
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Funny story: MuckDonalds wins first prize in toilets survey

MuckDonalds wins first prize in toilets survey

A survey conducted by almost two people, over the last seventeen and a half minutes, has found that the organisation that has done the most to further international hygiene over the last decade has been MuckDonalds. No other organisation has built...
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Funny story: Obamative Action

Obamative Action

Once upon a time in America, it took pressure, politics and some pretty aggressive pissing matches to up the quota of black actors, teachers, lawyers, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. Now that the US has found that black is beautiful enough t...
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Funny story: University Opens A-Roid Stadium

University Opens A-Roid Stadium

The University of Nowhere has a long history of cheating in sports, from 35 year old ringers at QB to a locker room more juiced up than a Florida orange grove. When Alex Rodriguez offered to be the benefactor behind their new college baseball sta...
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Funny story: R&B Chris Brown Re-Arrested in Tussle with Sesame Street's Elmo

R&B Chris Brown Re-Arrested in Tussle with Sesame Street's Elmo

Once so squeaky clean, that he did the old soft shoe with Sesame Street star Elmo, Chris Brown is just about drowning in a date violence quagmire of his own making. Brown has been arrested for beating up his girlfriend and once singing partner Ri...
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Funny story: Gerbil and Richard Gere Nominated for Awards for Nights in Rodent-he

Gerbil and Richard Gere Nominated for Awards for Nights in Rodent-he

Author of potboilers, Nicholas Sparks entered new turf when he penned the boy meets rodent, boy loses rodent (up his ass) and then boy really loses rodent (dead you know). Now the incredible love journey of a gerbil up the rear view of a Hollywood st...
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Funny story: China to demonstrate Arab hijacker demolishing CCTV building

China to demonstrate Arab hijacker demolishing CCTV building

Beijing's biggest fire for eleventeen years has presented a huge problem. China's most prestigious building currently under construction, the new CCTV offices and studios, were gutted earlier this week. Deciding whether to destroy the building, or...
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Funny story: People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots Rally in Washington DC

People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots Rally in Washington DC

Washington DC: People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots (PETI) staged a protest outside the White House and on Capitol Hill. PETI's membership roles also include morons and fools. A PETI founder, Britney Dumbbunny, said "the organization was formed...
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Funny story: What?

What?

What do you want? Sorry mate you must have wandered in here by mistake. Now don't get a strop on mah sahn or I'll have no option but to sort it. This is the Magazine section, yeah? And I'm having a fag innit? You want points then go to to the Headlines page. Makes no fackin odds to me. Jast fack orf or I'll fackin give yer a good levverin. You can't come in here without a t...
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Funny story: 10 Things To Do After Logging On To TheSpoof.com

10 Things To Do After Logging On To TheSpoof.com

There's no point in adding tags here because nobody ever reads the Magazine section anyway. Where was I? Oh yes... 10 things to do after logging on to TheSpoof.com: 1:- Go to the fridge for another beer. 2:-Shake your head in bewilderment and wonder to yourself: What the hell is wrong with these people? 3:- Think to yourself - hang on, this is kind of funny. Ish. 4:- Think to...
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Funny story: Solitary Reader of 1116 Page US Stimulus Package Found Dead: Suicide Suspected!

Solitary Reader of 1116 Page US Stimulus Package Found Dead: Suicide Suspected!

Washington,DC/ Washington Post /AP - The only elected official in Congress who read the entire Stimulus Package prepared by Democratic Ghost Writers, was found dead today in a Washington park under mysterious circumstances. The Senator, who's name...
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Funny story: Witch Doctors Sold Tainted Love Filled Chocolates

Witch Doctors Sold Tainted Love Filled Chocolates

Welldidja Siyatcoming, Idaho - What began as a not as friendly as it should have been treat between lovers quickly turned to a town reeking of Utter Indifference today. Chocolates filled with the fabled Love Potion #9, and marketed directly by the Wo...
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Funny story: Man speaks fluent African tongue after boil bursts

Man speaks fluent African tongue after boil bursts

A Crystal Palace man, who must remain nameless for legal reasons, started to speak fluently in the K'Naggit language of the Bakongo people of Angola when a boil on his backside burst. His wife Susan, a language teacher, thought she recognised some wo...
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