Funny story: New 'Mega-Trains' Announced

New 'Mega-Trains' Announced

A fleet of new 'mega-trains' is set to hit Britain's ageing rail tracks sometime in 2013. The hope is for the trains to drag the National Rail Network's services towards the 21st century, following years of public criticism over the sub-standard ser...
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Funny story: Batman Return Not Until 2010

Batman Return Not Until 2010

Looks like it's bad news for impatient Batman fans as the next scheduled appearance isn't until 2010. Of course, the economy crisis could bring him back sooner and Bruce could help give the United States a helping hand but it looks like 2010.
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Funny story: Gland Problem Hypothyroidism Causing Stinking Creek Man To Weigh 475 Pounds

Gland Problem Hypothyroidism Causing Stinking Creek Man To Weigh 475 Pounds

Born with a rare, debilitating glandular disorder plus a hypothyroid problem, 475-pound Stinking Creek resident, Paul Don Henderson helped himself to a fifth serving of fried catfish, mashed potatoes and popped his 21st hush puppy into his pie hole a...
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Funny story: Britain Grinds To A Halt Again - ThisTime Because It's Friday 13th

Britain Grinds To A Halt Again - ThisTime Because It's Friday 13th

Britain is once again grinding to a halt as a nation, as the most traumatic few weeks in this proud nation's history plod gracelessly to an impossibly sombre denouement. We have the credit crunch, we had the snow, we had the ice, we had the rain,...
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Funny story: England to be the 51st state of the USA

England to be the 51st state of the USA

The British parliament last night passed the bill to become the 51st state of the United States of America. Gordon Brown, the British PM, hasn't yet been able to deliver an official address to the nation/state because he has been busy receiving congr...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama To Guest With Take That At The O2 Arena

Michelle Obama To Guest With Take That At The O2 Arena

From our Washington DC correspondent, Da Man - She's made a bigger impact than her husband since he was inaugurated - Vogue covers, global press interest, fashion icon - and news has reached us that Michelle Obama is all set to extend her influence b...
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Funny story: Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt

Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt

Executives of banks taking government recapitalisation will receive their bonuses in yoghurt. The move by the Treasury to force heads of failed banks follows similar initiatives from President Barack Obama in the US. Lloyds Banking Group and Ro...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown 'considered banning biscuits'

Gordon Brown 'considered banning biscuits'

Gordon Brown planned to ban biscuits from the supermarket shelves of England and Wales before Lehman Brothers collapsed. Papers revealed on Wikipedia this afternoon revealed the PM - egged on by cheeky chef Jamie Oliver - was to defy the Cabinet a...
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Funny story: Detroit plagued with roaming potholes, threaten other states

Detroit plagued with roaming potholes, threaten other states

Detroit claims it can't get a handle on the numerous potholes plaguing the City's streets due to "roaming potholes," city officials said today. "The potholes have been moving around and are hard to keep track of", said DPW worker Tyrone Lowbrow...
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Funny story: Muslim world attacks America with shoes

Muslim world attacks America with shoes

After decades of being manipulated by the Western world, the Muslim one finally struck back at the USA by posting thousands of shoes to it. 'This will sort the Infidels out once and for all!', radical cleric Mustapha Quppa screamed, before sending...
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Funny story: Coleman and Franken Kickoff Re-election Campaigns

Coleman and Franken Kickoff Re-election Campaigns

The two mainstream candidates for U.S. Senator from Minnesota started their re-election campaigns today. Norm Coleman, who was senator until January 3, and Al Franken are in a court battle royale to determine who will represent Minnesota in the Sena...
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Funny story: Tennesee Man With Tourettes Going To See Movie Twice SH*T!

Tennesee Man With Tourettes Going To See Movie Twice SH*T!

In Knoxville, Tennessee, local Tourettes Syndrome victim Joe SH*T! Bob Crabtee, 32, confirmed with friends Wednesday that he planned to see the 7:15 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. showings of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at the Regal Cinema 12 on East Cl...
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Funny story: Ball Shall Go To The Ewe

Ball Shall Go To The Ewe

A testicle grown in a laboratory on the back of a genetically modified mouse called Atlas has been successfully transplanted into a female sheep. The sheep can now reproduce without the requirement for mating or artificial insemination. Scienti...
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Funny story: Madoff's Ponzi scam wife legs it with $15.5 million

Madoff's Ponzi scam wife legs it with $15.5 million

New York - (Mossad Pension Fund Mess): Ruth Madoff has vanished along with $15.5 million in 'monthly housekeeping funds' that she withdrew from her Lehman Brothers-affiliated hedge fund checking account just hours before husband Bernard was busted fo...
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Funny story: Cardiff Take Giggs

Cardiff Take Giggs

Cardiff City Football Club made a dream signing today when they bought Welsh legend Ryan Giggs from Manchester United for a fee of £5million pounds. Cardiff City have bought Ryan Giggs, that was just a dream right? No, it is true, Ryan Giggs ha...
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Funny story: Mick Jagger lands J Howard Marshall III role in Royal Opera House's Anna Nicole Smith life story

Mick Jagger lands J Howard Marshall III role in Royal Opera House's Anna Nicole Smith life story

London - (Wrinkly Ass Mess): Ageing sexagerian crooner Mick Jagger is to play the role of Texan oil billionaire J Howard Marshall III in the Royal Opera House's production of Anna Nicole Smith's life story. The title role is still up for grabs alt...
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Funny story: Kevin Costner & Stacy Keibler To Host TV's "Dancing With The Wolves"

Kevin Costner & Stacy Keibler To Host TV's "Dancing With The Wolves"

BURBANK, California - Kevin Costner, actor, director, and producer will be one of the hosts of a new dance show on the Fox Network. The show is basically a spin-off on ABC's "Dancing With The Stars" and is titled, "Dancing With The Wolves." Co...
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Funny story: Another Friday the 13th omen as Russian and US satellites collide

Another Friday the 13th omen as Russian and US satellites collide

Space - (Ominous Mess): World leaders' shattered nerves were dealt yet another blow today with the news that US and Russian communications satellites collided in space after crossing Comet Lulin's earthbound trajectory. The American Iridium satell...
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Funny story: Hitler comes out of retirement to become Israeli president

Hitler comes out of retirement to become Israeli president

As the shambles of the Israeli election continued, Adolf Hitler today announced he was returning to politics to lead Israel. Waving to thousands of cheering Israelis at Tel-Aviv airport, the former Fuhrer spoke to his adoring new fans. 'People of...
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Funny story: Banned Dutch racism row politician has black roots

Banned Dutch racism row politician has black roots

The Hague, Netherland - (Double Dutch Rant Mess): Banned Dutch Islamophobe wingnut MP Geert Wilders has black roots according to top media sources. Wilders, 69, has been photographed from every conceivable angle and has clearly not retouched his b...
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Funny story: Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

London - (Sordid Cold Whore Mess): Bitter and twisted mobster's moll Princess Margaret died from complications linked to Aids and cocaine addiction after becoming contaminated by her gangster crack dealer lover John Bindon according to a TV docu-dram...
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Funny story: Anneka Rice presents 'Democracy Hunt' on Israeli TV

Anneka Rice presents 'Democracy Hunt' on Israeli TV

The hit TV show 'Treasure Hunt' was revived in Israel today, but with Anneka Rice presenting a slightly different version of the programme. 'We have a couple here, Mr and Mrs Levin from Jerusalem, and they have one hour to find democracy in Israel...
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Funny story: Queen relaunches spoof British monarchy website

Queen relaunches spoof British monarchy website

London - (Third Reich Ass Mess): Spoof UK monarch Queen Elizabeth II has relaunched her pet online vanity publishing project with the help of acclaimed world wide web mythologist Tim Berners-Lee. The spoof site is full of beastly little whoppers c...
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Funny story: Story of Octupletes' Mom inspires changes to "The Bachelor" TV show; next season to feature simply a canister of frozen Sperm, say producers

Story of Octupletes' Mom inspires changes to "The Bachelor" TV show; next season to feature simply a canister of frozen Sperm, say producers

Hollywood, California - Made deaf, dumb and apparently blind by the ticking away of their biological clocks, women bent on waiting so long for Mr. Right to come along that they let all the sand in their egg timer run out have once again allowed produ...
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Funny story: Chalk and Cheese Resolve Differences

Chalk and Cheese Resolve Differences

Some put it down to Chalk having lost its dominance in education. Others say Cheese has mellowed over the years. Whatever the reason, it seems that Chalk and Cheese have become less diverse. The idea that there were insurmountable differences be...
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Funny story: KFC Secret Recipe Stored In Great Pyramid, Fort Knox or Mammoth Cave Area?

KFC Secret Recipe Stored In Great Pyramid, Fort Knox or Mammoth Cave Area?

In Louisville, Kentucky Colonel Sanders' handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky home Tuesday after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret, following a terrorist chicken outfit believed...
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Funny story: T'New Commandments

T'New Commandments

With the imminent resignation of God from the position of....well, God, Deus-Elect Mustapha Kamir has thrown his flat cap into the ring, and produced a set of New Commandments. 1. Yorkshire Puddin' is to be eaten as t'first course, not just dumped on t'plate wi' main course. Y'can 'ave it wi' jam then. Tha Mam's Yorkshire Puddin' is the bestest, an' any folk 'oo say diff'rent can be clouted - e...
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Funny story: Rabbits were Ours' - Pak admits

Rabbits were Ours' - Pak admits

After several weeks of careful study of the behavioral aspects of those rabbits that India has recently caught alive at the border, Pak has admitted that the rabbits tentatively, physiologically and culturally "somewhat" resemble their mountain-born,...
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Funny story: Canadian vet arrested for alleged racism

Canadian vet arrested for alleged racism

Edmonton, Alberta. After a particularly busy winter amputating the legs of stray moose, veterinarian Dr John Biggott made a phone call to his colleague. Little did he know the phone call was being taped by the CIA. Dr Biggott is recorded as saying...
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Funny story: Darwin's Theory of Evolution Has Changed Beyond All Recognition, Scientists Say

Darwin's Theory of Evolution Has Changed Beyond All Recognition, Scientists Say

Researchers at the University of Lyef near Amsterdam were astounded today when, during their celebrations to mark Charles Darwin's 200th Birthday, they realised his Theory of Evolution is no longer similar to the original. Scientists were observing...
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Funny story: Church leaders deny existence of Genesis

Church leaders deny existence of Genesis

In a shock statement issued today, the Church Leaders have now denied the existence of Genesis. I what is likely to prove a very controversial new debate, the Church Leaders have been asked to explain their theory behind the long-standing, and up...
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Funny story: Peru's Zoo Zigzag Zebra

Peru's Zoo Zigzag Zebra

Peru's main zoo, the Lemur Lima Zoo has a new addition this week, when Zelda the Zebra gave birth to a healthy zebra that keepers have named Deborah. Normally more famous for the lemur collection, the Peruvian zoo has caused an international stir...
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Funny story: Film-Maker Banned from the UK

Film-Maker Banned from the UK

A controversial film-maker has been banned from entering the UK, just hours before he was due to speak to Parliamentarians early next week and show his film. It has emerged that following threats of protests, the Home Office has rescinded Mr Steph...
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Funny story: Bee of the Bang to be dismantled

Bee of the Bang to be dismantled

After a third injury in two years, the iconic Manchester sculpture the Bee of the Bang is to be dismantled and sold for scrap. The sculpture looks like a frozen firework, but though impressive, current engineering technology has made this ambitiou...
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Funny story: Dog uses ladder to climb up on roof

Dog uses ladder to climb up on roof

Manchester police say they get lots of calls about wild animals but this one was different. A milkman reported a dog on the roof of a house licking its testicles. Animal control officer Dick Stick said the ladder in the back garden of the dog's owner...
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Funny story: Texas Like Ancient Thebes Caught in a Curse

Texas Like Ancient Thebes Caught in a Curse

The myths of the ancients tell and retell of how the sins of the leaders visit upon the innocent citizens a shitload of hell to pay. Even as in the Oedipus tale the hero is totally unaware of his transgression a plague can torment the people. Man...
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Funny story: ChiTown Vampiress Dresses and Undresses First Dark First Lady

ChiTown Vampiress Dresses and Undresses First Dark First Lady

The confluence of wildly popular vampire novels and films and a swarthy first lady and her fashion consultant and consort have fueled the fires of rumor, speculation and down right bull shit. yet many gossip columnist and private dick believe that a...
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Funny story: Huge Outpouring of Sympathy for grieving Jennifer Anniston

Huge Outpouring of Sympathy for grieving Jennifer Anniston

There has been a huge outpouring of sympathy from fans and stars alike for Jennifer Anniston upon her discovery of a "rogue colourless strand of grey hair" Jen had a message of condolence from famous trollop Madonna whose hair has come out of a bo...
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Funny story: Derren Brown denies influencing Premier League goal chances

Derren Brown denies influencing Premier League goal chances

'Stay with me now'. We've all heard him say it and we've all watched him do it. But none of us can work out how he does it. Yet, despite the quite unbelievable number of missed goal scoring chances across the Premier League last weekend, the TV magic...
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Funny story: NCAA Selection Committee Announces New Guidelines for Basketball Tournament

NCAA Selection Committee Announces New Guidelines for Basketball Tournament

The NCAA selection committee, the group responsible for picking and seeding the men's and women's basketball tournaments, has announced new guidelines for this years 64 team March Madness field. Chuck DeFry, executive secretary for the group, made t...
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Funny story: Madoff's Wife Carries Away Loot

Madoff's Wife Carries Away Loot

A Boston Newspaper reports that the wife of accused Wall Street swindler Bernard Madoff pulled $15 million in twenty-dollar bills out of a brokerage account only days before her husband was arrested, Massachusetts' top securities regulator said on We...
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Funny story: Top Swimwear Model Announced

Top Swimwear Model Announced

She turned the head of actor Leonard DiCaprio and now Bar Refaeli will have men around the world turning the pages of Sports Illustrated, as the model with 4 Buttocks bared mostly all for the cover of the magazine's widely-read swimsuit issue. Ref...
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Funny story: Obama Calls Food Manufacturing Company Racist

Obama Calls Food Manufacturing Company Racist

Barack Obama, newly sworn in President of the United States, has stated that manufacturers of the condiment mayonnaise are all racists and need to work to change their image. From the White House Press Room, he delivered the following statement.
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Funny story: Madonna dating "Satan"

Madonna dating "Satan"

Photographs of Madonna passionately kissing model Satan Sux have been released. In the pictures, the 50-year-old singer is seen lying on top of the 22-year-old Brazilian devil and looking on as he towels himself down. The images appear in a 46-...
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Funny story: Sperm Bank Seeks Government Handout

Sperm Bank Seeks Government Handout

WALLA WALLA, WA - Wankers Trust, the nation's largest sperm bank, is looking to the Federal Government's Troubled Masturbation Relief Program (TMRP) to see it through an unprecedented crisis. Chairman of the bank, Hans Job, said, "Due to the publ...
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Funny story: De-Luxe Superjobcentres To Cater For Unfortunate Professionals?

De-Luxe Superjobcentres To Cater For Unfortunate Professionals?

Calls were made today by powerful lobby groups in Westminster for the establishment of Superjobcentres at strategic locations around the country, which would cater for the legions of unemployed professional white-collar workers, many of whom have bee...
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