Funny story: TV Reject Ollie Murs Moves Into Homeless Shelter

TV Reject Ollie Murs Moves Into Homeless Shelter

(Defecated News) X Factor reject and 'bloke-with-rubber-legs Ollie Murs has vowed never to return home after his loss in the finale of the show on Sunday. Friends have reported Ollie as living in the grassy patch in Albert Square, and have seen hi...
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Funny story: BA Strike - Willie Walsh Wont Wash his Willy

BA Strike - Willie Walsh Wont Wash his Willy

(Defecated News) Union reps yesterday confirmed that all BA cabin staff registered with the union the LUC (Lazy Ungrateful Cunts) would stage a twelve day strike. In a shocking turn of events, BA Chief Executive Willie Walsh released a press state...
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Funny story: Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused by his usually loving spouse of conspiring to spoil Christmas. Anne Shuttlecock arrived home from work to catch her husband attempting to catch two wabbits in a hutch in the back garden. Assuming th...
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Funny story: George Michael in XXX-Factor Shocker!

George Michael in XXX-Factor Shocker!

(Defecated News) Pop's 'Poofy Princess From Paphos', George Michael caused a huge shock behind the scenes of last weekend's X-Factor Final. Not only did he sport a fucking shitty display of facial hair, but to everyone's disgust, Mr Michael was sp...
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Funny story: Air Crew Found Guilty Of Carrying Arms

Air Crew Found Guilty Of Carrying Arms

The demise of seven air crew could affect thousands of flights worldwide, now that they have been found guilty. It all began on Sunday evening when the crew members of flight 69 were stopping off to refuel at Bangkok's airport in Thailand. The men an...
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Funny story: Julie Postle, Tiger Mistress No#666, heads Orlando's Bad Girls Club

Julie Postle, Tiger Mistress No#666, heads Orlando's Bad Girls Club

Orlando, Fla - (Nutz for Prophet): "Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is one of the Bad Girls Club specialities!" gorgeous blue-eyed blonde charity funraiser Julie Postle said today. Twenty two year-old Postle, 34DD-22-34, was named today as Tiger Wood...
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Funny story: George Clooney Sends Note To Fans Letting Them Know He's Still Alive

George Clooney Sends Note To Fans Letting Them Know He's Still Alive

Hollywood, CA-- Actor George Clooney, 113, has sent a note to both of his fans to let them know he is still alive and kicking. George made his fame and fortune in some distant decade of the previous century. No one ever thinks about him anymore.
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Funny story: 'Animal Farm' by George Orwail

'Animal Farm' by George Orwail

'As the sun rose on another day, Napoleon and Snowball gathered all the other pigs and farm animals into a shed, as they had decided the time had come to overthrow Animal Farm's owner, Mr. Jones, and to run it themselves. 'Comrades', Napoleon said to the packed shed, 'the revolution must now begin! Jones is drunk again and hasn't fed us, we must declare the glorious Soviet Socialist Animal Farm...
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Funny story: Ahmadinejad To Open Up Iran's Nuclear Facilities

Ahmadinejad To Open Up Iran's Nuclear Facilities

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has announced this morning that he will allow United Nations inspectors to come visit their nuclear facilities just as soon as their "present project" is completed. "We welcome the UN inspectors and the whole world to come see...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Wife Elin Not Wearing Wedding Ring As Tiger Runs Around The Outside Of House!

Tiger Woods Wife Elin Not Wearing Wedding Ring As Tiger Runs Around The Outside Of House!

Tiger Woods wife was spotted in Sweden over the weekend sans her wedding ring so things haven't changed that much it appears after the two went there to get away from the circus here. Also, Tiger was reportedly seen wearing one of Elin's outfits t...
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Funny story: Brits hoping to escape horrible, dry Christmas Turkey dinners, forget it, "Britshit Airways" are on strike!

Brits hoping to escape horrible, dry Christmas Turkey dinners, forget it, "Britshit Airways" are on strike!

The annual exodus of escaping Brits wishing to avoid dry Turkey dinners, brussel sprouts, vile stuffing, disgusting Christmas pudding, the stormy , wet , windy weather and their kids sitting like Zombies on their X Boxes, Playstations and new mobile...
View 'Brits hoping to escape horrible, dry Christmas Turkey dinners, forget it, "Britshit Airways" are on strike!'
Funny story: Obama to Pay Bailed Out Executive in IOU's

Obama to Pay Bailed Out Executive in IOU's

Washington, D.C. - After criticizing bailed out banks for not making loans to jump start the economy, Barack Obama announced another measure to issue tough love to the banks in order to keep them honest and responsible in their business dealings.
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Funny story: 'Global Cooling' advocates emerge at Copenhagen

'Global Cooling' advocates emerge at Copenhagen

'Our perspective on the world's climate has been consistently ignored by the AGW (anthropogenic global warming) climate consensus', says Jill Morgenstern, the CEO of the 'Our Planet Has A Fever Project' (OPHAFP). 'All these people are running arou...
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Funny story: Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 2

Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 2

Previous Chapters| Part 1 Part 2 Charlie walks along the footpath on his way to work in the chimney factory, head held low and cap pulled down tightly over his ears to protect himself from the biting cold. He passes the candy shop and stares in the paneled window at the children inside buying packets of "Wanker Chocolate Shit". The Candyman, a tall, queer fellow (modern day meaning in t...
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Funny story: 8 Reasons To Love Tiger Woods

8 Reasons To Love Tiger Woods

(Defecated News) 8 - His job is pretty boring so life at home should be 'exciting' 7 - He dresses like a geek, and we all love geeks, right? 6 - He has very white teeth - how lovely 5 - He can still find reasons to fuck other women even when his wife is HOT BEYOND BELIEF! 4 - He shaves with Gilette, apparently, and obviously that is the 'best that man get get'. 3 - He's called Tig...
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Funny story: New Line of Elin Nordegren Woods Golf Clubs Announced

New Line of Elin Nordegren Woods Golf Clubs Announced

A press conference was hastily called this morning by Samurai Sports to announce the newest line of golf clubs; just in time for Christmas Day delivery. Addressing a speechless and bedraggled muckraking cohort of reporters, Hiroshima Andrews, V.P...
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Funny story: X-factor's Joe McElderry Reveals All

X-factor's Joe McElderry Reveals All

As promised, X-factors Joe McElderry has revealed all to Katarina Frogpond (that's me.) Now Katarina Frogpond is going to tell you all about the revelations that he revealed to her. After an extensive under cover investigation, which took Joe, the...
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Funny story: Rapping Superstars rebel against "Homo's" - At last, someone is!

Rapping Superstars rebel against "Homo's" - At last, someone is!

Super Rap stars, Trick Trick (Eminem's great friend), Beenie Man, Eminem himself (in the past) and other Rappers have been villified by the global "PINK" entertainment press (run by GAYS By the WAYS) for "outing" their views against "Gays"! It's w...
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Funny story: Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 1

Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 1

A timeless children's classic gets the Jesus Budda treatment for this jolly Christmas Season. Ho ho ho! Part 1 As darkness descends over the old town, a young boy makes his way home from a long hard day slogging in the chimneys. Covered from head to foot in soot and dirt, he dances around gayly ( ye olde worlde meaning) and skips past puddles of filthy black sewerage. "Tra-la-la-t...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer 'Lucky Donkey' Disappears In Sweden After Tiger Woods Story

Spoof Writer 'Lucky Donkey' Disappears In Sweden After Tiger Woods Story

New Spoof writer, 'Lucky Donkey', a new writer for a spoof site has disappeared somewhere in Sweden after heading there to find what is going on with golf great, Tiger Woods. Lucky had told some of his fellow writers that he wanted to get off to...
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Funny story: Obama Uses Fear of Gun Control Laws to Enact De Facto "Bullet Control"

Obama Uses Fear of Gun Control Laws to Enact De Facto "Bullet Control"

Washington, D.C.- Gun rights supporterss have been shocked by the release of an internal campaign memo showing Obama planned to restrict gun access through fear and free market principles. The memo, drawn up in early 2008 with the help of Nobel Laure...
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Funny story: Angelina Gobbling Brad On Their 5th Anniversary After Missing Thanksgiving

Angelina Gobbling Brad On Their 5th Anniversary After Missing Thanksgiving

Hollywood's most-talked about couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed a very romantic night out to celebrate their five-year anniversary as a couple, while their kids stayed at home with a sitter this past weekend. "I was busy on Thanksgiving...
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Funny story: Silvio Berlusconi Undergoes Surgery Following Assault

Silvio Berlusconi Undergoes Surgery Following Assault

(Defecated News) Troubled controversial Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, yesterday underwent major reconstructive facial surgery following the horrific attack by a 'toy-church-wielding psychopath'. The 73 year old billionaire suffered fa...
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Funny story: Climate Change [The Fairy Tale]: "And They All Lived..."

Climate Change [The Fairy Tale]: "And They All Lived..."

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, where no man had boldly gone before, in a land where the sun never set and the climate never changed, lived a lovely young princess called Airwick. Wherever she went, gaily tripping around the land, singing her sweet songs, and dancing her pretty little dances, the air was fresh and clean smelling. And the good folk who inhabited the land were happy a...
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Funny story: Local Man Lambasted In Duvet Furore

Local Man Lambasted In Duvet Furore

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused of hogging the duvet by his ever loving wife, Anne. Standing in the street, in her underwear, Anne told us: "He's a nightmare. Especially when he's had a few beers. He thinks he's still walking u...
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Funny story: Federal Regulations Proposed to Protect Us from Ourselves

Federal Regulations Proposed to Protect Us from Ourselves

Washington DC: Congress and the president appear unable do anything about important issues such as the economy and jobs, thus requiring concentration on things that have little or no impact on most Americans. New legislation will allow the federal government to regulate thrill seeker activities, as follows: Skiing: Required to have parachutes in the ski boots and front and rear air bags Ligh...
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Funny story: Juan Carlos Pardons Don Quixote Writer

Juan Carlos Pardons Don Quixote Writer

Seville - King Juan Carlos has issued a written pardon to Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote for wrongful imprisonment in the sixteenth century under the rule of King Mark. Evidence of a transcript of the proceedings has come to light showing Cervantes was the subject of the wrath of local peasantry who brought personal grievances with Cervantes to King Mark leading to his imprisonment.
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Funny story: Shocking Santa Activities and Identity Revealed

Shocking Santa Activities and Identity Revealed

A revealing new expose about Santa Claus has North Pole public relations management team scrambling for answers and a potential spin on recent New York news reports. Found in multiple after-hours clubs in and around New York this past weekend, an...
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Funny story: Mother-in-law based film: Avatar. Is old Gladys to blame?

Mother-in-law based film: Avatar. Is old Gladys to blame?

With 'Avatar' appearing in cinemas on the 17th December, we thought we'd catch up with James Cameron, the director - or producer - we're not too sure (or bothered). Cameron is previously known for 'Titanic', the biggest grossing film to date, with a brilliant Kate Winslet and a suspiciously hunky Leo DiCaprio as the main roles. However, 'Avatar' is animation, and "nothing we have ever seen bef...
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Funny story: Larry Ellison / Oracle Taking over the Software World

Larry Ellison / Oracle Taking over the Software World

While Oracle is in the final stages of consuming another competitor, critics of the move are concerned about the lack of federal involvement in what can be argued as monopolistic practice. "It's a technology survival battleground out there", says...
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Funny story: Catherine Zeta-Jones / Carina-Eta on Broadway

Catherine Zeta-Jones / Carina-Eta on Broadway

With dual personality traits revealed on stage during her recent Broadway premier, Catherine Zeta-Jones was forced to answer questions about styles of speech and mannerisms matching those of famous satirical writer Carina-Eta. Names seemingly desi...
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Funny story: Italian PM hit in face - and not before time!

Italian PM hit in face - and not before time!

At a rally in Milan Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berladultery was yesterday whacked in the face by some nut job, breaking his nose and losing him some teeth. Berladulterys ex wife and that teen nymph he was sniffing round a while back are said to...
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Funny story: Eldrick Tont Woods Signs with China Golf Association

Eldrick Tont Woods Signs with China Golf Association

Newcomer Eldrick Tont has signed a lucrative 5 year contract with the burgeoning China Golf Association, also becoming its spokesman for strengthening golf programs and the CGA brand across China and the Asia Pacific region. Far removed from PGA e...
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Funny story: New document found exposes Irans nuclear trigger.Its definitely not a fake either.

New document found exposes Irans nuclear trigger.Its definitely not a fake either.

Unlike the laptop found with Iranian nuclear secrets on a while ago that turned out to be a Mossad fake this time its claimed the documents regarding irans nuclear trigger are genuine. Having had the docs translated it can be revealed they state t...
View 'New document found exposes Irans nuclear trigger.Its definitely not a fake either.'
Funny story: Clinton probed on Tiger Woods paternity

Clinton probed on Tiger Woods paternity

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - (Reuterus): A sordid Hellfire Club cover-up involving Bill Clinton and a Bajan/Dominican BBC newsreader is still whitewashing Tiger Woods' DNA. According to documents released under the UK's Freedom of Disinfor...
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Funny story: Berlusconi's ratings helped by bloody PR job

Berlusconi's ratings helped by bloody PR job

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is today recovering in the polls after a carefully-arranged PR stunt left his face covered in blood, and left Italian newspapers and TV stations covered in publicity for him. He suffered a few cuts and poss...
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Funny story: Cheating Sponsor Breaks Up With Tiger Woods by E-Mail

Cheating Sponsor Breaks Up With Tiger Woods by E-Mail

ORLANDO, Florida - A major sponsor for Tiger Woods sent him a "Dear John" e-mail Sunday to "clear the air" and let the beleaguered golf star know they "have been working with a new spokesman" in the wake of a recent shit storm of controversy swirling...
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Funny story: Longknob to enter X Factor in 2010

Longknob to enter X Factor in 2010

Brighton's leading Viking Re-enactor "Thor Longknob" is currently in training and hopes to lead the charge in next years X Factor competition! He is currently working with his faithful assistant "Joy the Unflapplable" on the application form which...
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Funny story: Mrs. Tiger Woods Says Tiger Is Toast After Christmas

Mrs. Tiger Woods Says Tiger Is Toast After Christmas

ORLANDO - Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs. Tiger Woods, has made it crystal clear to "Tiggy" that she will stick around and celebrate Christmas with him for the sake of the kids, but on December 26, it's adios mother effer and her and the two kiddoes are bou...
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Funny story: 18-Year-Old Joe McElderry Captures X-Factor's £1 Million First Prize

18-Year-Old Joe McElderry Captures X-Factor's £1 Million First Prize

LONDON - Joe McElderry, the 18-year-old native of South Shields, Tyne and Wear, England has been crowned the winner of the 2009 edition of X-Factor. Young Joe was thrilled beyond belief and became even more noticeably thrilled when he received a s...
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Funny story: Failed NBA Player Sues Baby Mamas for Child Support

Failed NBA Player Sues Baby Mamas for Child Support

Newark, New Jersey - Former New Jersey Nets recruit ReJean Barry Jackson filed lawsuit against the three mothers of his illegitimate children, seeking custody and child support. Rejean, a former college basketball player for the Kansas Jawhawks, said...
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Funny story: Amanda Knox Says That She Hates Being In Jail Because It Is So Damn Boring

Amanda Knox Says That She Hates Being In Jail Because It Is So Damn Boring

PERUGIA, Italy - Convicted murderess Amanda Knox confided to one of her jail guards Benzo Benzatalini that she does not like being in jail because it is so damn boring. She also said that the stinking place is extremely scary. Benzatalini, who las...
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Funny story: Volvo and Ikea no longer trusted brands

Volvo and Ikea no longer trusted brands

Stockholm, Sweden. Authorities here are on alert following the revelations that anything carrying the name Volvo or Ikea is equivalent to fatal brands such as Trebant or even Titanic. The fuss was caused by a story appearing in the International T...
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Funny story: Al Gore Causing Global Warming!

Al Gore Causing Global Warming!

Copenhagen - (Rooters) Fighting to be heard over chants of "Al Gore, shut your mouth!" and "Save our planet, gag Al Gore!" Dr. Johannes Finklestein, head of the UN Climate Summit finally released the truth about global warming. Dr. Finklestein, a fin...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!

Robert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!

It has been confirmed that Robert Pattinson, yes THE Robert Pattinson has been arrested in New York City overnight because of identity theft. "Of all things", Pattinson told reporters early today, myself among them, "I get arrested for attempting...
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Funny story: Subo/Brown mixup.

Subo/Brown mixup.

President Barry Obama has today apologised to British PM Gordon Brown after mistaking him for Subo during a recent Whitehouse visit. "C'mon" said Barry "This fat,ugly lump of flesh speaking Scottish waddled into my office and i made a natural erro...
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Funny story: FTSE to TOOTSIE

FTSE to TOOTSIE

To make the boring old always-banged-on-about 'FTSE 100' more interesting, they have decided to move on to something ten times bigger and ten times better: TOOTSIE - 10. The head of FTSE claims: "It just wasn't appealing to the generation, so I t...
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