Funny story: New Evidence Suggest Karl Marx was a Thespian

New Evidence Suggest Karl Marx was a Thespian

Berlin, Germany - Archeologist searching for evidence of ancient Roman brothels in the German village of Schlipinvagina have instead uncovered a tantalizing mystery. While excavating where a broken down brick out house once stood they discovered a rusted tin box which contained prints of naked Victorian woman and a diary that had belonged to Karl Marx, the father of communism. Professor Wilhel...
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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part Ten.

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part Ten.

"Those Tacos were delicious, Mr the J-Man," Nick says. "Look and learn," the J-Man says. He leaves the room and comes back hefting a huge suitcase. "My, that's a big one," Lola says, borrowing a line from a Dirty Harry movie. "Yes, I know that," the J-Man says. "But let's just concentrate on the suitcase. For now..." His gaze wanders to Fran's damp cleavage, and then to Angie's damp cl...
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Funny story: Study Suggests Walking, Chewing Gum at Same Time Still Okay

Study Suggests Walking, Chewing Gum at Same Time Still Okay

BALTIMORE, MD - A recent study suggests that people who attempt to complete multiple tasks at the same time often don't accomplish a damn thing, especially compared to those who prioritize and attempt to complete tasks one by one. Despite this, mu...
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Funny story: Usain Bolt could be banned for being Martian, fans claim racism

Usain Bolt could be banned for being Martian, fans claim racism

Berlin, Germany. Questions are being raised over humanness of Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt after he set new world records in 100 and 200 meters track races last week. Bolt has been running with superhuman abilities, which has caused some physicia...
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Funny story: If God texted the 10 commandments

If God texted the 10 commandments

1. no1 b4 me. srsly. 2. dnt wrshp pix/idols 3. no omg's 4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r) 5. prnts ok - ur m&d r cool 6. dnt kill ppl 7. sx only w/ m8 8. dnt steal 9. dnt lie 10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
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Funny story: Edward Kennerty:an Obituary

Edward Kennerty:an Obituary

Edward Kennerty, who died in Boston, Massachusetts today, aged 143, had a long and distinguished career as a Democrat politician. His life began in 1866, when he was born to father Tedward Kennerty, a bootlegger and gangster, and mother Edwina Rosie Lee Parnassus Boulevard McHimmler O'Guiness O'Reilly Obama OmacDonald Hadjafarmski Kennerty. In his twenties he enrolled in Harvard College, but fa...
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Funny story: Russians Admit Hijacked Ship May Have Had Mystery Cargo

Russians Admit Hijacked Ship May Have Had Mystery Cargo

Moscow (Kremlin Secret Files) The Russian government has admitted that the hijacked ship 'The Arctic Sea' may not have been carrying just timber. There has been increasing speculation as to what-or who-was on board the vessel. FSB spokesman Houdyanic...
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Funny story: Prescott Backs Release Of Bomber

Prescott Backs Release Of Bomber

Veteran Labour politician John Prescott has backed the controversial decision to release the Lockerbie bomber. Speaking from his home in Hull, Prescott said "I have no objectifications regarding releasifying a person who may, or may not, have bee...
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Funny story: Celebrity Drug Addict Arrested For Assault

Celebrity Drug Addict Arrested For Assault

A celebrity who must remain nameless has been arrested for assault. The troubled celebrity was recently axed as the face of a supermarket chain following cocaine taking revelations. The latest incident further damages the celebrity's reputation.
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Funny story: Twitter Sues Cell Phone Company Promoting "Twatter"

Twitter Sues Cell Phone Company Promoting "Twatter"

Twitter, one of the fastest growing communication methods on the planet, has filed a class action suit in Federal Court against manufacturers of a new system called "Twatter." An attorney for the group said "This is obvious trademark infringement.
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Funny story: Man With World's Smallest Penis Makes BIG Discovery!

Man With World's Smallest Penis Makes BIG Discovery!

Penis Minus Wilson (Not his real name) has made a discovery that has him all aglow and the first thing he did was share it with his wife, Halletta, an Efe pygmy. Then she was all aglow too. "After all these years of being on the receiving end o...
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Funny story: President Obama's Healthcare Ace in the Hole.

President Obama's Healthcare Ace in the Hole.

Washington DC (Neuters) - With support sinking fast for systemic healthcare change, specifically the Dems favored public option via single payer, during a recent appearance at the Press Club Mr. Obama desperately strove to turn the tide. Inovkin...
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Funny story: Man arrested for driving with Big Eyes

Man arrested for driving with Big Eyes

When the police first broadcast their recent advert warning drug-drivers that big eyes would give them away at the wheel, innocent Barry Walsh of Walthamstow could not have predicted he would be arrested himself. "I used to be stopped and searche...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown Has Fence Post Up Arse

Gordon Brown Has Fence Post Up Arse

Gordon brown invited journalists to his garden this week where he held court, from his seat on the garden fence. He bravely claimed, several days after everybody else, to have been repulsed over the scenes of celebration in Tripoli, following the arr...
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Funny story: Senator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck

Senator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck

HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - Senator Ted Kennedy has left his prized, pride and joy yacht The Silver Sage of The Sea to Fox Network political TV show host Glenn Beck. Speaking from the Kennedy Hyannis Port Compound family spokesperson Oliver Tere...
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Funny story: New Kennedy Conspiracy Theory Gains Momentum

New Kennedy Conspiracy Theory Gains Momentum

Chappaquiddick (Bridge Water Leggit) The death of Ted Kennedy may not have been due to natural causes, it has been suggested. The veteran senator may have fallen victim to the infamous Kennedy curse. Leading cancer specialist Dr Pat Pocock said "I re...
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Funny story: FSA breaks old ground

FSA breaks old ground

The reeling UK Regulator today revealed the first in its big gun response to Tory criticism. Sir Grenville Mann-Gland spokes-person for the Regulator, speaking from the organisation's glistening HQ in East London, said today: "We have been under f...
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Funny story: Ted Kennedy's Funeral To Be Broadcast on Cable Television

Ted Kennedy's Funeral To Be Broadcast on Cable Television

The funeral for the late Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy will be broadcast on cable television for the world to watch. The brother of former president JFK passed away Tuesday evening due to complications from several health conditions. The funeral w...
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Funny story: Big Brother Given The Chop - Man With Europe's Largest Penis Devastated

Big Brother Given The Chop - Man With Europe's Largest Penis Devastated

Big Brother has been axed, and that's official. The once popular Channel 4 TV programme has been axed as a result of plummeting ratings figures. The move is not surprising, considering that where we once had such luminaries as Jade Goody, Michael...
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Funny story: Ted's a Dead Kennedy (80's punk band also!), so f******g what!

Ted's a Dead Kennedy (80's punk band also!), so f******g what!

Ted is dead and will certainly not be joining his brothers in heaven! The world should not be upset about Ted dying, Ted was a bit of a nifty character carrying a manslaughter nightmare around his neck. He managed to avoid going in the slammer...
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Funny story: The Latest Federal Program: "Cash For Stash"

The Latest Federal Program: "Cash For Stash"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. government noting that the "Cash for Clunkers" program and its "Cash for Cluckers" program were both very successful has proposed a new program called the "Cash for Stash" program. This innovative project which will pay...
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Funny story: West Ham vs Millwall

West Ham vs Millwall

West Ham vs Millwall. There hasn't been this much of a fuss after a football match since 'The Taliban Tornadoes' took on the 'Yankee trading Goliath's' in the summer of 2000. Bin laden swore his revenge against the western football champions after th...
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Funny story: Muhammad Ali Meets Ricky Hatton - No Fighting Involved

Muhammad Ali Meets Ricky Hatton - No Fighting Involved

Boxing legend and three time World Heavyweight Champion, Muhammad Ali, of Louisville, Kentucky, today paid a visit to Mancunian mauler Ricky Hatton at his Hyde gymnasium. A frail looking Ali, the best fighter of a very tough generation was said to...
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Funny story: Rhode Island Governor Says: Rhode Island Is For Sale

Rhode Island Governor Says: Rhode Island Is For Sale

PROVIDENCE - Rhode Island Governor Donnie Carcaluchi is saddened to have to say that due to the economic hardships that his state is facing he has no choice but to put the little state up for sale. At first the governor felt that closing down the...
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Funny story: Bikini Clad Sarah Palin Foils Hi-Jacking

Bikini Clad Sarah Palin Foils Hi-Jacking

Sarah Palin, on vacation and in Pensacola Beach, Florida, was sunbathing and swimming with her family Tuesday when, after the family went for some barbecue supplies, she was suddenly approached by a stranger with a gun, demanding the keys to the fami...
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Funny story: Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 9

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 9

"Boy, are we glad to see you, whoever you are. Shit, I already know who you are. What the hell am I talking about here? You're Abel Zorro Rodriguez, master swordsman and defender of the truth. Glad you showed up when you did Abel." "I'm not glad," says Madame Bitters. Johnny Boy has rolled off her and she feels unfulfilled, like she's been cheated. Angie can't think straight. Her nipples are...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga: He, She or Nee?

Lady Gaga: He, She or Nee?

Lady Gaga's actual sex, which has generated much speculation which finally resulted in violent rampaging though the streets of London last week, now has a definite conclusion according to experts at Southend University today. I asked Dr Comely (BS...
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Funny story: Curse of the Kennedys Act 666, Scene 9/11 as Jackie-O sibling busted for paedo porn

Curse of the Kennedys Act 666, Scene 9/11 as Jackie-O sibling busted for paedo porn

South Oregon - (Pervy Ass Mess): A Michael Jackson C[o]unty grand jury has indicted James Auchincloss, half brother to Jackie Kennedy Onassis and Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield Radziwill, on 25 child porn charges. Auchincloss and Eagle Point resid...
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Funny story: Soviet Invasion of Manchester: Plans Revealed

Soviet Invasion of Manchester: Plans Revealed

Manchester (Wet Soggy North) The Soviet Union drew up plans for an invasion of Manchester during the Cold War. Professor Cantona of Old Trafford College recently studied the plans. "The detail is amazing. Yes, they used ordinance survey maps and sate...
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Funny story: West Ham And Millwall Have A Jolly Good Evening Out Together

West Ham And Millwall Have A Jolly Good Evening Out Together

Many local residents feared the worst when West ham United and New Cross rivals Millwall, were drawn against each other. Both club's fans have a violent history and Metropolitan Police officers in full riot gear attended the fixture in large numbe...
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Funny story: Jessica Biel's Hot Ass May Yield Cyber-Infections, Says Study

Jessica Biel's Hot Ass May Yield Cyber-Infections, Says Study

HOLLYWOOD, CA - When I Now Pronounce You Buck and Harry hit movie theatres, it created vast new legions of Jessica Biel fans; millions of adolescent boys rushed home to rub one out, frantically searching for visual aids featuring the curvacious bombs...
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Funny story: Greens protest against Climate Control, Police Ready

Greens protest against Climate Control, Police Ready

Police are preparing for a long couple of days this week when Green protesters have vowed to plague the London with their Climate Conference this week. Green party leader Mr Peter Green (no really) told me, "we're going to talk about climate stuff...
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Funny story: Senator Kennedy Indicted For Murder, Drops Dead

Senator Kennedy Indicted For Murder, Drops Dead

Chappaquiddick MA-- Senator Teddie Kennedy was indicted today for the murder of Mary Jo Kopechne in 1969. Mr. Kennedy was served with an arrest warrant for the grisly murder at his bedside early this morning. Senator Kennedy was so shocked by the n...
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Funny story: Big Brother to be Axed

Big Brother to be Axed

Channel 4 bosses have admitted that the current series of Big Brother will be the last ever, despite making the same claim at this point last year. The beleaguered show has lost its prime-time slot to a show about how to choose carpet and a comedy...
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Funny story: Large, Angry British Women on the Attack

Large, Angry British Women on the Attack

London, England, UK Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Humans (RSPCH) has issued a warning about the dangers of provoking groups of large, angry women after at least four people were trampled to death in the past two months by...
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Funny story: Ted Kennedy to be buried in Marilyn Monroe vault

Ted Kennedy to be buried in Marilyn Monroe vault

Los Angeles - (Some Like It Hot Mess): The new owner of the $4.6 million Westwood Village Memorial Park burial vault holding Marilyn Monroe's remains was named as Sen Edward Kennedy who died today. The former top IRA fundraiser and Democratic Mas...
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Funny story: IRA mourns King of Terror

IRA mourns King of Terror

Washington AC/DC - (Mary Jo Mess): Tributes are pouring in for top Capitol Hill piss artist Senator Edward Kennedy. The leading US apologist for IRA terror and associated Opus Dei child sex cover-ups finally croaked today a fortnight after his da...
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Funny story: Camelot is Dead - or is it?

Camelot is Dead - or is it?

Just in, with the recent death of long standing Senator Edward Moore "Teddy" Kennedy (Dem) of Massachusetts, Camelot will live on. It has come to this reporters attention through sources close to the family that Kennedy himself has it in place wh...
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Funny story: Gangsta ATMs in South Central

Gangsta ATMs in South Central

Los Angeles, Ca, UEssay A trial program of placing specialty Automatic Teller Machines (ATMs) designed for specific neighborhoods began in South Central Los Angeles this week. The modifications were inspired by a similar program in Great Britain whi...
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Funny story: Andre To Sing For Ali

Andre To Sing For Ali

Stoke (Potteries Relegation Battle) It has been announced that Peter Andre is to sing at a private dinner in honour of Mohammad Ali. The dinner will take place at Stoke City football club. It is the biggest challenge ever for Ali. In his prime the gr...
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Funny story: Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco To Star In Their Own Reality Show

Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco To Star In Their Own Reality Show

ATLANTA - A press release has been released stating that ex-major league baseball stars Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco have been signed to appear in a reality show. It was announced that the show will revolve around cooking and is named Roger and...
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Funny story: Warning Issued for Nickelback Flu

Warning Issued for Nickelback Flu

Atlanta - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning for Nickelback Flu. In recent months thousands of people across the country have gone to the hospital with flu like symptoms. Tests on those patients came back negativ...
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Funny story: Glenn Beck Asks President Obama For A Stimulus Package Bailout

Glenn Beck Asks President Obama For A Stimulus Package Bailout

NEW YORK CITY - Political talk show host Glenn Beck has stated that he never in a million years would have thought that almost all of his shows sponsors would jump ship as they did. Beck stated that he figured that one or six would perhaps abandon...
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Funny story: Butane Prices Set to Skyrocket -- Stoners on Alert

Butane Prices Set to Skyrocket -- Stoners on Alert

A "Rolling Stone" article a few weeks ago exposed an international banking house, Goldman Sachs, and how they engineered the last dozen financial bubbles in the U.S., such as the Internet Bubble in 2000, the Housing Bubble in 2007, and last summer's...
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Funny story: Hollywood's Aging Stars Turn into Salespersons

Hollywood's Aging Stars Turn into Salespersons

Hollywood CA: The intensity of celestial stars fades over the millennia before they go super nova and explode. A similar situation occurs to Hollywood stars, as they age and must seek other employment by migrating to Madison Avenue. Jessica Simps...
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