Funny story: Oh, Deere, Cockshutt Shut Out!

Oh, Deere, Cockshutt Shut Out!

GLENROCK, WYO., USA Things took a turn for the worse during the annual Patriotic Olde Tyme Tractor Pull and Parade which kicked off Redneck Days 2009 when long time entrant and four time tractor pull grand champion Ives Trophez, 76, lined up for the...
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Funny story: First Ronnie Biggs, then the Lockerbie bomber; will the Yorkshire Ripper be next?

First Ronnie Biggs, then the Lockerbie bomber; will the Yorkshire Ripper be next?

HMP Belmarsh - (Jim'll Fix It Mess): A hale and chipper Ronnie Biggs was still partially comatose today after knocking back yet more gallons of prescription Stolly-Bollies*. A five day bender celebrating of his 80th birthday get-out-of-jail card/t...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Outburst Not Silent, But Deadly

Hillary Clinton Outburst Not Silent, But Deadly

Hillary Clinton cleared the room after ripping off a chord on the butt tuba during a question and answer session in the Congo. The toxic release apparently occurred after a Congolese student was misinterpreted as asking what her husband, Bill, though...
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Funny story: Longknob searching for Pirates off Sussex Coast

Longknob searching for Pirates off Sussex Coast

The British Navy, at the request of the Russian Government has despatched its secret weapon - "Thor Longknob" aka Noel Thomas, Gatwick's most feared Viking re-enactor to hunt down and kill the Swedish pirates operating in the English Channel. Long...
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Funny story: Dennis the fanny

Dennis the fanny

Dennis the Menace, the loveable young rapscallion is returning to British screens soon but as what happens with most of the things people love, He is having a slight re-think. Yes it seems the Political Correctness group of bored overprotective T.
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Funny story: Sir Bobby to Manage Heaven XI

Sir Bobby to Manage Heaven XI

The late Newcastle United manager Sir Bobby Robson has announced today that he will be holding trials to represent Heaven United FC in the upcoming grudge match against AFC Hades. In a press conference by the Heaven FA yesterday, Sir Bobby was confi...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus' Pole Dancing Pole Is Now On eBay

Miley Cyrus' Pole Dancing Pole Is Now On eBay

LOS ANGELES - The dancing pole that Miley Cyrus used during her "Dancing In The USA" number on The Teen Choice Awards Show has been put up on eBay. The show's director Colton Mandalay said that 24 hours after it had been posted the top bid for the...
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Funny story: Adam Lambert and Kevin Skinner To Record An Album

Adam Lambert and Kevin Skinner To Record An Album

LOS ANGELES - The managers of Adam Lambert and Kevin Skinner have sent out a press release that the two singers will be going into the recording studio and making an album. The producer of the album is the highly talented Chad Butterbeer who has p...
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Funny story: Massive Cock Seen from Space Station

Massive Cock Seen from Space Station

NASA and the European Space Agency have today announced that staff on the International Space Station have proof of alien visitation to earth. Brad Cunnilinga of Nasa's Press relations team said today, "At 04:45 hrs today Anatoly Felchski Commande...
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Funny story: Wizard of Oz Resigns

Wizard of Oz Resigns

In a totally unexpected development, The Wizard of Oz has announced his resignation, effective immediately. Standing in front of a hot-air balloon at a hastily put together press conference, The Wizard raised his hands to silence the virtually non-ex...
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Funny story: Jaime Pressly's Public Pee?

Jaime Pressly's Public Pee?

Newly-engaged actress Jaime Pressly is laughing off reports that she was caught urinating in public, insisting the photos that were shown on the internet actually show her carrying out a party dare from her wedding shower. In the photographs, Pres...
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Funny story: High School Musical linked to new disease

High School Musical linked to new disease

Adolescents the world over, when they aren't stealing hooded tops, snorting alcopops and bumming Grannies, are huge fans of High School Musical. My own feckless brood can often be found staring slack-jawed at the TV marvelling at the antics of gr...
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Funny story: Rabbis' swine flu over the cuckoo's nest

Rabbis' swine flu over the cuckoo's nest

Tel Aviv - (Yom Kippur Mess): A motley gangbang of fundamental rabbis, Jewish mystics and assorted biblical nutters have denied multiple c[o]unts of gross indecency 30,000 feet above the Negev desert aboard an El Al Nudist Airways Airbus-300. The...
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Funny story: Polo Knockoff Knocked Out

Polo Knockoff Knocked Out

A company in China has been calling it's new men's cologne, Jockey, which claims that the odor is that of Polo. However, the Ralph Lauren Company has sued the Chinese over their product. A judge in the hearing late last year ruled that the Chinese...
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Funny story: Health Care Screamers Swamp ERs

Health Care Screamers Swamp ERs

Emergency Rooms are treating a brand new ailment-one they have temporarily dubbed "Town Hall Throat" - a painful condition brought on by the crescendo of choreographed Town Hall screaming by opponents of health care reform. "Our ER admissions fo...
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Funny story: Shocking Weight Loss Program Takes America by Storm

Shocking Weight Loss Program Takes America by Storm

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans are suddenly getting fitter than ever as town hall debates over health care energize people to get off their fat asses and be heard, according to a recent study. Add to that the fact that many Americans are simply too...
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Funny story: Bizarre Attacker Stalks Suffolk Town

Bizarre Attacker Stalks Suffolk Town

In the early hours of Sunday Morning (9th August 2009) near Ipswich Railway Station a young woman was attacked by a mysterious stranger. Local woman Edna Horatio was woken from her alcoholic slumbers by the woman's screams, and immediately dialled...
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Funny story: Jaime Pressly Denies Peeing In Public

Jaime Pressly Denies Peeing In Public

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The star of My Name Is Earl, Jaime Pressly adamantly denies that she urinated in public. West Hollywood Police Officer Elvio V. Yerbabuena said that at approximately 2:31 a.m. he spotted the 32-year-old blonde starlet squatting in...
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Funny story: New Phone aimed at Women

New Phone aimed at Women

Sony Ericsson yesterday announced a new phone, the Dolce & Gabbana Jalou, aimed solely at the fairer sex in an effort to get more women involved in technology. For years now women have allegedly struggled with technology, often thinking that t...
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Funny story: Vatican Condemns Greed: Puts Money Where Mouth Is

Vatican Condemns Greed: Puts Money Where Mouth Is

After condemning Italy's National Lottery for promoting greed and love of money, the Vatican decided today to set the good example by taking steps to clean its own house. "We have been sadly remiss", stated a highly placed Vatican spokesman today.
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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Adored By Billons

Nancy Pelosi Adored By Billons

San Francisco, CA-- Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most adored person in human history. She easily beat Jesus, Buddha and Bart Simpson in popularity, according to the latest survey. She is simply the most wonderful person to ever wa...
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Funny story: Obama to Kill All Elders: Report

Obama to Kill All Elders: Report

The Wonderous and Excitable Union of Brown Shirts United (WEBSU) released details of the Obama administration's health insurance proposal today. Received in an extremely private message by the group's leader Genghis the Toker, the plan reputedly tout...
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Funny story: Mangelson - The Megalomaniac Ventriloquist

Mangelson - The Megalomaniac Ventriloquist

This morning's Today programme "interview" of Dark Lord Peter Mangelson has resulted in the Business Secretary being sectioned under the Mental Health Act. Repeatedly during the interview, the recently created peer interrupted and argued with hims...
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Funny story: Why, I Otter!

Why, I Otter!

DRUMMOND, WI, USA Iggotte Nein-Pantzer, 51, sought emergency medical services after skinny dipping in Lake Owen near Drummond last Wednesday. The Altach, Austria resident was on her annual vacation with her husband, I. De Weere-Pantzer, a native of...
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Funny story: Angelina And Brad Screw In Trees Using Tadpoles For Lube

Angelina And Brad Screw In Trees Using Tadpoles For Lube

In a cringemaking interview, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have issued lurid details about their sex lives. "The last time we did it" says Brad, "I sprained my left elbow getting out of the stirrup". Angelina laughs delicately at this and comments...
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Funny story: Misguided Anti-Terrorist Group Tries To Kill Off Stephen King, John Carpenter

Misguided Anti-Terrorist Group Tries To Kill Off Stephen King, John Carpenter

In a noble but misguided effort, members of a Vigilante group from Texas attempted to kill both Stephen King in Maine and John Carpenter -back visiting his home place in Kentucky where he had returned to see the family and the place where he grew up...
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Funny story: Katie Price cuts her rate

Katie Price cuts her rate

As a result of her break up from Peter André, Katie Price has been told that she must halve the rates she charges for personal recommendations, talk show appearances, writing drivel for tabloid newspapers,cheap celebrity magazines and all other Jorda...
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Funny story: Victoria Beckham Snaps: Light Breeze To Blame

Victoria Beckham Snaps: Light Breeze To Blame

'Posh' Spice Victoria Beckham was hurt today when she left a hotel in LA. She had just stepped out onto the street when a slight draft blew up. Conscious of Miss Beckham's current state of thinness, photographers rushed over to catch what happened...
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Funny story: Kathy Griffin Wants To Have Levi Johnston's Baby

Kathy Griffin Wants To Have Levi Johnston's Baby

LOS ANGELES - The star of the Bravo Network reality show, My Life On The D-List Kathy Griffin has announced that she wants to have Levi Johnston's baby. Johnston, is the 19-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby Tripp. When Levi was asked where h...
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Funny story: Spoof hijacker blamed in missing Russian ship fiasco

Spoof hijacker blamed in missing Russian ship fiasco

Atlantic Ocean - (Fishy Tales Mess): A leading Spoof writer and self-proclaimed Brest-man is the top suspect behind the seizure of a 3,988-tonne Russian cargo ship, the Arctic Sea Marie Celeste. The cyberspace-registered vessel was carrying a £10...
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Funny story: Bean Flicking in Crumpet Dean

Bean Flicking in Crumpet Dean

Women of all ages from around the sleepy village of Crumpet-Dean in Gloucestershire will today be joining the locals on the green for an unusual event to flick-start the harvest season. Today marks the annual 'Flicking Of The Bean'- a competition...
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Funny story: Were celebrity's near-fatal burns caused by Spontaneous Human Combustion?

Were celebrity's near-fatal burns caused by Spontaneous Human Combustion?

CHARLESTON, WV -- Ten weeks after the late May fire that resulted in 2nd and 3rd degree burns that very nearly killed pseudo-celebrity Tijuana Ramada, West Virginia Arson Investigators have tentatively ruled the blaze that gutted the entire 5th floo...
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Funny story: Nazi's and Train robbers

Nazi's and Train robbers

Some people, long haired people believe the world and everything that comes with it is all held at an equal balance. A metaphorical set of scales being looked over by fate and karma, when one person dies another is born (over population proves otherwise but we can gloss over that), when a good deed is done a bad deed must follow. And it seems that this week the universal balance has been clear for...
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Funny story: The 87-Year-Old Snake Choker

The 87-Year-Old Snake Choker

In Tampa, Florida, an 87-year-old great grandmother had had it with what she called "the motherloving snakes on her motherloving porch." So when a seven-inch pygmy rattlesnake slithered up to Ms. Hester Flooring's door and bit her on the hand, sh...
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