Funny story: Su-Bo - Susan Boyle cracks-up, goes mad, is loopy, turns ga-ga, breaks down etc!

Su-Bo - Susan Boyle cracks-up, goes mad, is loopy, turns ga-ga, breaks down etc!

Susan Boyle, 47x 12 months, has finally 'lost it' say her family, friends and me - a nosey observer...well, let's be honest, just me. The cause of her insanity is Simon Cow-Bell, who has forbidden her to sing in public, private and in the privacy of...
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Funny story: Swine Flu Latest: Monkey Woods Has It

Swine Flu Latest: Monkey Woods Has It

There was concern this evening for controversial spoof news 'writer', Monkey Woods, after it emerged that Swine Flu had arrived in the West Midlands town of Dudley, and was lodged in his throat. UK health experts say they have 'no idea' how Woods...
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Funny story: The Susan Boyle Dilemma: Barney Frank Unable To Concentrate On Job After Seeing Susan On TV

The Susan Boyle Dilemma: Barney Frank Unable To Concentrate On Job After Seeing Susan On TV

Ever since he saw and heard Susan Boyle on the telly, Congressman Barney Frank has not been the same. "Something definitely has happened to me", admitted Frank. "To be absolutely Frank (a pun there), I have always been gay but from the first night...
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Funny story: Queen's E-Mail Goes Astray

Queen's E-Mail Goes Astray

A young blogger in Canada was upset today when an email sent by the Queen failed to arrive. The email was sent to 23 young people from across the world, who have written blogs about their experiences of the Commonwealth - which is celebrating its...
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Funny story: Pakistan tops international poll as 'most untrustworthy country'

Pakistan tops international poll as 'most untrustworthy country'

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND: Pakistan came out on top of a new international poll as "most untrustworthy country", followed by North Korea, Iran and Zimbabwe. The poll considered 5 major factors: 1) non-viability of current administration Pakistan sc...
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Funny story: Bjork Works To Save Iceland From Bankruptcy

Bjork Works To Save Iceland From Bankruptcy

Pop singer Bjork (pronounced BEE-YORKKKKK, just like you are upchucking a bad pizza), always a fountainhead of new and eccentric ideas, has decided to help alleviate Iceland's terrible economic problems. Iceland, long a self reliant land, made a...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown Bullied by Polish Prime Minister Disgrace!

Gordon Brown Bullied by Polish Prime Minister Disgrace!

Poland's prime minister, Donald Tusk has upset Gordon Brown by claiming his country avoided serious damage from the financial crisis by regulating banks properly and not "living on credit". Speaking through an interpreter and Polish English he s...
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Funny story: Specter defects to Republican Party

Specter defects to Republican Party

Washington AC/DC - (Turncoat Ass Mess): After months of smoke 'n' mirrors obfuscation Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter has finally nailed his Primary Colors to the Republican Party mast. Capitol Hill insider sources immediately noted that the Se...
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Funny story: George Lucas releases another 'Star Wars' movie: "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (Torture and Rendition Edition)"

George Lucas releases another 'Star Wars' movie: "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (Torture and Rendition Edition)"

Hollywood, California In the new digitally enhanced reedited version, the Rebel Alliance captures and boards an Imperial Star Destroyer, taking Darth Vader hostage. Later at the location of their secret base somewhere in the Outer Rim, outside the...
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Funny story: Rampant hubris as Dubai's Shaikh McTomb-Raider eyes Kentucky Derby victory

Rampant hubris as Dubai's Shaikh McTomb-Raider eyes Kentucky Derby victory

Churchill Downs - (Thoroughbred Ass Mess): Dubai's top paranoid egomaniac Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider is on a roll having convinced himself that the splayed entrails on the Gogolphin Stables' gelding room floor spell a massive victory for one of hi...
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Funny story: Bea Arthur Believed To Have Been Fifth Beatle

Bea Arthur Believed To Have Been Fifth Beatle

It has been revealed, upon her deathbed, that Bea Arthur, broadway beauty and t.v. bombshell, is believed to have been the 'Fifth Beatle.' Speaking on his cell, superstar seller, Sammy Shore, agent to Ms. Arthur, exclaimed, "Bea was a Beatle. I k...
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Funny story: Chelsea Win 0-0 At Barcelona

Chelsea Win 0-0 At Barcelona

It was a great night for English football in the Nou Camp Stadium as London's finest, Chelsea, emerged victorious from their Champions League battle with Barcelona with a famous 0-0 win over the Catalan superstars. The game had been billed as one...
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Funny story: Fox Network Introduces "Males Hit In The Balls"

Fox Network Introduces "Males Hit In The Balls"

Fox TV will have a new summer show starting in July about a bunch of guys of all ages getting hit in the balls. "We already know we have a 'hit' on our hands", stated the executive producer of "Males Hit In The Balls" as this is always the ones th...
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Funny story: Citigroup to sell staplers to raise financial capital levels

Citigroup to sell staplers to raise financial capital levels

Following an expected announcement due in May that Citigroup's banking division Citibank are operating with insufficient levels of financial capital, the CEO, Vikram Pandeet ordered the bank to begin its emergency, and to this point, secret "capital"...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle proven to be Man after anagram solver finds secret to riddle

Susan Boyle proven to be Man after anagram solver finds secret to riddle

A spokesman for Simon Cowell's organisation has admitted that Susan Boyle, worldwide phenomenon is in fact a man. The spokesman was responding to increasing levels of rumour to Boyle's gender following a letter to a daily newspaper by Enid Johnso...
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Funny story: Looking Beyond Uranus; Successful business entrepreneur thinks universally, acts locally

Looking Beyond Uranus; Successful business entrepreneur thinks universally, acts locally

North Carolina's soaring unemployment rate may get a little help later this year from little green men, pod people or whatever else may be up there. "The truth is out there" says Jimmy Fred Hudson, founder and CEO of the Upper Cleveland County Ali...
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Funny story: Medical community deems left-handers to be 'disabled'

Medical community deems left-handers to be 'disabled'

The American Medical Association has officially deemed left-handedness the newest disability in the US. In spite of their best efforts to be accepted, lefties are being lumped in with sex addicts and lupus sufferers in a category called 'mockable han...
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Funny story: "Swine Flu" is anagram of "Fuel Wins" - Conspiracy theorists go into overdrive

"Swine Flu" is anagram of "Fuel Wins" - Conspiracy theorists go into overdrive

The "chatter" amongst conspiracy theorists through the internet has quadrupled in activity in the last 24 hours as the fact that "Swine Flu", the disease crippling mankind, is an anagram of "Fuel Wins", leading the theorists to the only sensible conc...
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Funny story: Swine flu infects Angelina Jolie's Chihuahua before being swept away by tornado

Swine flu infects Angelina Jolie's Chihuahua before being swept away by tornado

Angelina Jolie's six-pound Chihuahua has been reunited with her owners after a 70-mph gust of wind picked the puppy up and tossed her out of sight. The puppy is currently receiving treatment for the notorious swine flu. Angelina and Brad Pitt cred...
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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson describes "terrible, crippling boredom" in role

Sir Alex Ferguson describes "terrible, crippling boredom" in role

A despondent Sir Alex Ferguson claims to have lost all motivation and interest in his job as manager of Manchester United, the world's most valuable sport club. In an open and frank interview with Sir David Frost, Sir Alex admitted that he had rec...
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Funny story: NASA Scientists Snap Most Distant Object in Universe

NASA Scientists Snap Most Distant Object in Universe

NASA scientists were celebrating today after snapping a picture of the most distant object in the universe. The object, designated Swineflu 91, is barely visible to the naked eye, fuzzy in a pair of 10x50 binoculars, and jumps around a lot when viewe...
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Funny story: Official : Swine Flu bigger than Susan Boyle and Shaheen Jafargholi combined

Official : Swine Flu bigger than Susan Boyle and Shaheen Jafargholi combined

Simon Cowell is apparently furious today that the new craze sweeping the world - the lethal Swine Flu, is out-googling both Susan Boyle and Shaheen Jafargholi combined. Rumours suggest that Cowell who had intended the current series of Britain's G...
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Funny story: New York City Flyover Pilot Revealed To Be Obama

New York City Flyover Pilot Revealed To Be Obama

It has been revealed that the pilot of the President's plane that flew over New York City, the one that was accompanied by several military jets, the one that sent thousands of workers out of office buildings and running wildly in the streets, was ac...
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Funny story: 100 Year Old Man marries 100th Wife, also 100.

100 Year Old Man marries 100th Wife, also 100.

Hunter "100" Cent, the 100 year old man from Brooklyn, New York has set a number of new records today as he married his 100th wife. Cent, 100 years old, famous in part for owning 100 buildings in Brooklyn, married his new bride Jacqueline Fuentes,...
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Funny story: Swine Flu is man-made weapon shock, thwarted by Mi6 agent

Swine Flu is man-made weapon shock, thwarted by Mi6 agent

Mi6, the UK's external intelligence agency have revealed today that the epidemic of "Swine Flu" which has gripped the world, was part of a man made effort to bring the world to its knees. A spokesman for the agency described how the initial belief...
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Funny story: Mexicans caught flu from falling into Rio Grande

Mexicans caught flu from falling into Rio Grande

Laredo,Texas - Billy Bob Figges,US Border Guard and lay Methodist preacher,today revealed his own personal theory on the cause of the Mexican flu outbreak. "Makes sense to me" drawled Figges, who is known to Mexicans and the local Latino community...
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Funny story: Hendry shocks Snooker World with break of 195

Hendry shocks Snooker World with break of 195

Stephen Hendry has hit a fantastic run of today in the Snooker World Championship as he shocked the snooker world by pocketing a record break of 195. Hendry, 40, who of course has won the annual tournament already 38 times, produced a stunning fra...
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Funny story: Water-boarding becomes 2012 event

Water-boarding becomes 2012 event

The world was shocked today at the announcement that the torture method of "water boarding" would indeed become an event for the 2012 games. In what is being suggested is an administrative error, the announcement came following a number of campaig...
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Funny story: 'In Hiding' - Chris Moyles panics at Swine Flu Outbreak!

'In Hiding' - Chris Moyles panics at Swine Flu Outbreak!

Chris Moyles, sixty stones of rancid pork fat jammed into a 35 stone body and a face like Miss Piggy's snatch, is in hiding due to the recent outbreak of Swine Flu. Listeners to his program were surprised to hear Chris Moyles had not left his ho...
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Funny story: North Korean scientists claim they have cloned 'glowing' Kim Jong-Il

North Korean scientists claim they have cloned 'glowing' Kim Jong-Il

NORTH, KOREA: North Korean scientists state they have successfully cloned a 'glowing Dear Leader', using DNA from Kim Jong-il and mutant beagle puppies. The head of the experiment said: "Everybody thinking maybe Dear Leader die or maybe have strok...
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Funny story: "Mexican flu won't amount to much"claims professor

"Mexican flu won't amount to much"claims professor

Dublin, Ireland - Paddy O'Normal the controversial Irish professor of Medicine has today caused uproar by asserting that the Mexican flu outbreak is nothing to get worried about. "Mexico is a long way from here" declared the Professor "And anyway...
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Funny story: Alan Shearer Sacked - Alan Sugar To Be Next Newcastle Boss

Alan Shearer Sacked - Alan Sugar To Be Next Newcastle Boss

Newcastle United boss, Sir Alan Shearer, was relieved of his temporary post this afternoon, after the Magpies could only draw 0-0 with Portsmouth at St James Park last night. They have not won under Shearer, and are now in real danger of dropping int...
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Funny story: Mexican Tourist Board Announce 'Record Holiday Bookings'!

Mexican Tourist Board Announce 'Record Holiday Bookings'!

Juan Miguel Porky; Mexican Minister for Tourism announced on Mexican TV today that there has been a 2000% increase in holiday bookings for 2009. "Our hotels are fully booked" he said, "it seems this pig flu has really put us on the map". Supportin...
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Funny story: President Wants New Name For Swine Flu

President Wants New Name For Swine Flu

United States President Barack Obama in an emergency session with his cabinet again today over the Swine Flu, has requested that from now on to begin calling it, "Miss Piggy Flu". We're hurting here", stated Obama. "We depend on tourism and ...TOU...
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Funny story: Southampton Mayor Defiant

Southampton Mayor Defiant

In what will go down as a disastrous week in the history of the City of Southampton, a week which sees the very real possibility of Southampton Football Club fading into extinction, should ballerina Wayne Sleep's rescue package fall through, the Lord...
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Funny story: Swine Flu From Rendering Hog Fat?

Swine Flu From Rendering Hog Fat?

The International Monetary Fund, who have their noses stuck up everyone's behind of late, predicts a shrinking world economy over the next few years. This troubling news has sent the price of lard and hardtack futures skyrocketing. A special sess...
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Funny story: Jade Goody's mother Jackiey sparks security alert at airport after joking 'I've got a pig'

Jade Goody's mother Jackiey sparks security alert at airport after joking 'I've got a pig'

Jade Goody's mother Jackiey Budden sparked a security scare at Gatwick airport yesterday after joking that she was carrying a pig in her luggage. The 51-year-old was strip-searched and questioned for 45 minutes after making the ill-advised quip du...
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Funny story: Casey Aldridge Recovering, Moved out of ICU

Casey Aldridge Recovering, Moved out of ICU

Doctors at the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, Mississippi, planned to move Casey Aldridge out of their intensive care unit as early as last night or this morning. "They said it was borderline whether he needed surgery or not,...
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Funny story: Small Earthquake In Cumbria - Nobody Hurt

Small Earthquake In Cumbria - Nobody Hurt

Ulverston, Cumbria - A small earthquake, 3.4 or so, give or take, happened here in Cumbria this morning. Reporters from all over the north of England and southern Scotland flooded the area but were to be disappointed. There was no evident structur...
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Funny story: Trio cleared over 7/7 attacks

Trio cleared over 7/7 attacks

Three man have been cleared of helping to plan the 7/7 London bus bomb attacks. A jury at Westminster Crown Court found Tony Blair, John Prescott and Gordon Brown not guilty of conspiring to plant fake terrorist bombs on London buses to alarm citizen...
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Funny story: Lampard And Terry In Barcelona Airport Race Row

Lampard And Terry In Barcelona Airport Race Row

Controversy erupted here at Barcelona Airport as Chelsea footballers en route to their CL semi-final tie at the Nou Camp made allegations of racist abuse against fans of the Catalan giants. A spokesman for the Guardia Civil told us: "Allegation...
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Funny story: Steptoe And Son To Ride Again?

Steptoe And Son To Ride Again?

The BBC are expected to confirm within the next forty eight hours that a new series of the Galton and Simpson penned classic sitcom Steptoe and Son is to commence filming before the end of the month. "Pre-production is complete," a Beeb spokesman...
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Funny story: Arabian tour-operators officially open the high-season for heavenly cruises to paradise!

Arabian tour-operators officially open the high-season for heavenly cruises to paradise!

Arabian Tour-operators have spruced up their fleets of luxurious, crap wooden boats for the opening of the high - season called Exodus from that shithole called Africa. They are expecting record numbers of Black African tourists better known as the "...
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Funny story: Plane Stupid - Photo Op Freaks Manhattan

Plane Stupid - Photo Op Freaks Manhattan

Presidential plane Air Force One accompanied by a fighter jet yesterday swooped low over Manhattan and New York harbour in search of photo opportunities, sparking panic among office workers who feared another 911 scenario. "People came flooding ou...
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Funny story: Millions Of Mexicans Mass At US Border

Millions Of Mexicans Mass At US Border

Live - as it happens - Reports are flooding in that millions of Mexicans fleeing the swine flu pandemic are massing at the US border and apparently planning a mass breakout into the US. US Border Patrols are said to be alarmed by the sheer weight...
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Funny story: Could pig flu save Gordon Brown?

Could pig flu save Gordon Brown?

Whispers are spreading through Westminster that the prime minister is intending to use the swine flu danger to gain electoral advantage. Just as Tony Blair was able to push aside fuel protestors when foot and mouth created a national danger in 200...
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Funny story: Wayne Sleep To Rescue Saints?

Wayne Sleep To Rescue Saints?

Following relegation at the weekend, a ten point deduction for next season, a bid from bitter rivals Portsmouth to buy their stadium, and a seven day deadline in which to find a buyer or face extinction, things were looking pretty bleak for Southampt...
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Funny story: Joan Collins Wins Hell's Kitchen

Joan Collins Wins Hell's Kitchen

London - Following two weeks of torture, celebrity chef sackings and viewer votes, a winner was finally announced on the latest series of Hell's Kitchen. Following a tense cook off involving such culinary delicacies as fried egg on toast, jam butties...
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Funny story: Earthquake In Lancaster After Spoof Boss Reboots Site

Earthquake In Lancaster After Spoof Boss Reboots Site

There was terror and pandemonium in the northwest of England at lunchtime today, after an earthquake struck the Lancashire town of Lancaster, home of the UK's premier news and bullshit outlet, TheSpoof.com. The quake, measuring 0.0zero on the Rich...
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Funny story: Prime Minister loses Famous London Landmark in Poker Game

Prime Minister loses Famous London Landmark in Poker Game

Paris - Britain is to give its third most famous tourist attraction, Tower Bridge, to France. The transaction is a result of a poker game between Prime Minister Gordon Brown and President Nicholas Sarkozy. Brown initially wanted the prize to be t...
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Funny story: Taliban trap Pakistan with 72 virgin promise

Taliban trap Pakistan with 72 virgin promise

Guys, I am dead serious about the above statement. Make no mistake in judging it. It's just a matter of time and the form in which Taliban will appear in Islamabad. Going by the history of Pakistan- from the concept of creation to the surrender in hand of Taliban, it was just a matter of time. When and How? Consider few facts: 1. Pakistan was created by people who thought of Islam in their mind...
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Funny story: Germany asks Ferguson to become Chancellor

Germany asks Ferguson to become Chancellor

After over sixty years of democracy, a referendum in Germany today gave the result that surprised nobody in Europe, and Sir Alex Ferguson was asked to become the new Chancellor there, with the people giving a resounding 98% 'yes' vote. 'For too lo...
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Funny story: Is Jesus Coming Back on Tuesday?

Is Jesus Coming Back on Tuesday?

Is Jesus coming back today (4/28/2009)? Those of us who are keeping track of the prophecies of the Mayans where it is said that the end of this age will end on Friday December 21, 2012. In the Book of Revelations there is a tribulations period of time that will last 7 years. This period of time is divided into two half's each 3 ½ years. The number 666 represents the Anti-Christ and on 4/28...
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Funny story: 'Michael Barrymore' mocks 'Susan Boyle' he is to be flogged!

'Michael Barrymore' mocks 'Susan Boyle' he is to be flogged!

I wrote last week a 'predictable' prediction (pleonasm - I know), that Michael Barrymore would be used as a scapegoat for Susan Boyle's lack of success throughout her long life. Because the press already have vilified him, old Barrymore is a soft target. All media darlings need an opposing villain. Shilpa and Jade, Sadam Hussein and the World, Jade and Jade and now Boyle and Barrymore. I wa...
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Funny story: Elton John is straight - ex reveals all

Elton John is straight - ex reveals all

Buckinghamshire, England - "Elton John is straight" that's the startling statement, Elton John's ex-boyfriend Benny Anthejets has made to Gaytime is Goodtime Gossip Magazine. Anthejets spilled the beans on his sordid affair with John back in the...
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Funny story: Bankers could be extinct within 10 years - unless we act NOW

Bankers could be extinct within 10 years - unless we act NOW

Wall Street, New York - Bankers could be extinct by 2020 - that's the startling prediction one top economist, Peter Dollar-Pound, has made. "We have to do something now!" claimed Mr Dollar-Pound "We can't just sit around doing nothing! If we don...
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Funny story: New Strain of Swine flu Rampant in Wigan

New Strain of Swine flu Rampant in Wigan

A new virulent strain of Swine Flu know as Mexican-Swine-Bee-flu is apparently causing havoc in Wigan with reports of lots of sneezing, wheezing and a coughing going on across the length and breadth of the town according to latest reports. I spoke...
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Funny story: Dossier Reveals USA Invaded the Wrong Country - Spelling Mistake Changed History

Dossier Reveals USA Invaded the Wrong Country - Spelling Mistake Changed History

Washington DC - Secret government documentation uncovered by top undercover reporters yesterday, reveals that the United States, in the quest for the "war on terror", invaded the wrong country. The document, labelled "Top Secret" in bold red lette...
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Funny story: Swine flu vaccine 'not to be given to vegetarians'

Swine flu vaccine 'not to be given to vegetarians'

The government confirmed today that vegetarians would not be given the swine flu vaccine as 'it's only fair.' An official statement released this morning said 'Basically, if you live by the sword you die by the sword. Millions of people in this co...
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Funny story: Hog Warts, Restless Pig Syndrome Also on Rise

Hog Warts, Restless Pig Syndrome Also on Rise

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as the World Health Organization struggles to contain a recent outbreak of swine flu, a startling number of other swine related diseases and illnesses have begun to crop up across the globe. "This latest development is esp...
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Funny story: Bobby Charlton wins 'Young Player of the Year' Award

Bobby Charlton wins 'Young Player of the Year' Award

Bobby Charlton yesterday picked up his PFA 'Young Player of the Year' award and dedicated the honour to Sir Alex Ferguson. "Sir Alex has nurtured me through my career and without him I don't think that I would still be a professional footballer. I...
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Funny story: French and Saunders - "We are funny"

French and Saunders - "We are funny"

BAFTA Lifetime award winners Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders insisted yesterday that they were actually funny at some stage of their career. An emotional Saunders said "I realise that we haven't really made people laugh for 20 years or so, but I...
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Funny story: Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-1

Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-1

When he retired as major, Cavalry, Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes, also known as Ajax, was just forty. With the best education, military and non-military, Antonius could have made a general. His reasons to quit were numerous. The first and foremost: his commanders' stupidity. The last but not the least: the inefficiency of his subordinates. Furthermore, he left his community as well, and became a se...
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Funny story: Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Lifts Ban On Sex Without Commitment

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Lifts Ban On Sex Without Commitment

Bravo TV's Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has now released a statement that she is lifting her long standing policy of abstinence, and that she will no longer forbid sex between her matches, without there being a committed relationship between...
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Funny story: 'Mocking' - Michael Barrymore looked up Susan Boyle's skirt in 1995

'Mocking' - Michael Barrymore looked up Susan Boyle's skirt in 1995

Mad-cap comedian, Michael Barrymore (who is more mad than cap) has been 'outed' as peeking up Susan Boyle's skirt in 1995. During the filming of "My Kind of People", Susan Boyle who was thirty-five at the time sang "I don't know how to love him,"...
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Funny story: The Boogie Man Retires

The Boogie Man Retires

Hell, Michigan: After over 2000 years in business the Boogie Man has retired and is moving to Kissimmee FL, near Disneyworld. "This Michigan town freezes over every winter and I am sick of it," he was heard saying! Others cautioned that where he was...
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Funny story: Melissa Rivers Suffers Breakdown After Getting The Boot On The Celebrity Apprentice

Melissa Rivers Suffers Breakdown After Getting The Boot On The Celebrity Apprentice

Melissa Rivers suffers nervous breakdown after being fired by Trump on "The Celebrity Apprentice". The daughter of comedian Joan Rivers was found pacing Wilshire Blvd. and rambling incoherently. Police summoned to the scene state that Ms. Rivers...
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Funny story: Emos Infest Mexico City to Meet Their Maker

Emos Infest Mexico City to Meet Their Maker

Mexico City,Today - In a story that's 100% CERTAIN to remind you of this one here, Police and tourist chiefs are reporting an influx of suicidal 'Emos' into Mexico City. Hairy faced Coño Del La Puta, of the Mexican Tourist board said she had wit...
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Funny story: J.K. Rowling to write 8th Harry Potter book

J.K. Rowling to write 8th Harry Potter book

J.K. Rowling, during a series of press conferences yesterday, declared that she would be writing an eighth book in a series of seven Harry Potter books. Rowling initially said, shortly after the 7th came out, that no more were to be had (much to...
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Funny story: President Clinton caught kissing own wife

President Clinton caught kissing own wife

In a startling turn of events Sunday, former President Bill Clinton was seen, in full view of the public, the press and several foreign dignitaries, to kiss his wife lightly on the cheek! Oh, the horror! As most will know, President Clinton was im...
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