Funny story: Oracle to buy Sun, Will Then Sell Bits to HP

Oracle to buy Sun, Will Then Sell Bits to HP

Following the revelation that IBM was considering buying the Sun, the negotiations have broken down and IBM has withdrawn from the purchase. However, enterprise software giant Oracle has jumped in on the act and has said it will now buy the Sun inst...
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Funny story: Disgraced Chris Moyles' beard is really his pubic hair shock!

Disgraced Chris Moyles' beard is really his pubic hair shock!

Chris Moyles, sixty stones of pork fat in a 35 stone body has revealed the unsightly neck hair on his unsightly goitre laden neck, is actually his pubic hair. The man known as Miss Piggy's vagina broke down on his radio program when someone commen...
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Funny story: Obama 'defecates' to show unity to new pet

Obama 'defecates' to show unity to new pet

White house officials have confirmed that President Barack Obama has taken the unusual step of defecating on the front lawn of the white house in a bid to show the world his ability to relate to animals as well as people from all walks of life. Ob...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Starts New Career As Cat Whisperer

Spoof Writer Starts New Career As Cat Whisperer

A TheSpoof.com writer announced seconds ago that he is to relinquish all previous employment activities in order to pursue a new career as a professional cat whisperer. The writer in question, who wishes to remain anonymous, is to start his new ca...
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Funny story: Shaheen Jafargholi Gives Susan Boyle Her Second Kiss

Shaheen Jafargholi Gives Susan Boyle Her Second Kiss

LONDON - Two of the top contestants on this year's "Britain's Got Talent" are 47-year-old Susan Boyle and 12-year-old Shaheen Jafargholi. After Miss Boyle revealed to the judges that she had never been kissed Angelina Jolie quickly arranged for Br...
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Funny story: Kenny Dalglish Being Lined-Up As Next Liverpool Manager

Kenny Dalglish Being Lined-Up As Next Liverpool Manager

There were rumblings all across Merseyside tonight, as Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish was rumoured to be returning to the club to take up a position in the Reds' youth set-up, but some people at the club believe there is more to it than that. Dal...
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Funny story: Da Vinci Code sequel "The Lost Symbol" will be last book

Da Vinci Code sequel "The Lost Symbol" will be last book

The billionaire author has announced today that following the release of the sequel to the Da Vinci code - "The Lost Symbol", he will never write another book. Instead the writer will be taking on the infinitely more difficult task of spending his...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle, Rolling Stones To Do Altamont Speedway Concert II On Anniversary Of The Event

Susan Boyle, Rolling Stones To Do Altamont Speedway Concert II On Anniversary Of The Event

With this being the fortieth anniversary of the infamous Altamont Speedway Free Concert, Sausan Boyle has been signed up to join with the Rolling Stones to redo the free concert. "I'm looking forward to being up there with Mick and the boys", stat...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking to fake his own death 'just like Princess Diana'

Stephen Hawking to fake his own death 'just like Princess Diana'

London - (Preposterous Ass Mess): Shrinks at London's Royal Freak Hospital are poised to section Prof Stephen Hawking after his ex-wife complained that he was about to fake his own death 'just like Princess Di'. Elaine Hawking has told social work...
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Funny story: CO2 successfully eradicated

CO2 successfully eradicated

AP Wires - Lagos, Nigeria: For the first time in recorded history the Nigerian Government has announced that a project with no internal corruption has been a success. According to Dr. Uday Muballa, whose father was unfortunately killed in a rebel...
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Funny story: New Dan Brown Novel "The Lost Symbol" plot secrets revealed

New Dan Brown Novel "The Lost Symbol" plot secrets revealed

The sequel to the international super-book "The Da Vinci Code" will be released in September. "The Lost Symbol" as it has been provisionally titled, will see the return of the Robert Langdon character and follow him on a 12 hour journey. However...
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Funny story: New Allotment Tax to Commence July 13th

New Allotment Tax to Commence July 13th

Gordon brown announced today that the proposed Nationwide Allotment Tax will come into force July 13th 2009 in time for the peak growing season. Allotment holders will be charged £75 per plot, per year, based on an average plot of 300 sq. mtr. Mu...
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Funny story: Sammy Lee defends "Arrogant" Rafa Benitez, Liverpool FC Manager

Sammy Lee defends "Arrogant" Rafa Benitez, Liverpool FC Manager

Sammy Lee, the assistant manager of Liverpool FC has defended Rafa "Arrogant Chief Akimwolo" Benitez against Alex Fegusons recent outbursts. "The King is not an arrogant man" Sammy explained, "He takes lunch with us fortnightly and has heard many...
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Funny story: Shop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!

Shop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!

In an effort to get to the top of the supermarket charts, Wartnose - the upmarket - super-market - have come up with a unique add-on-service. Philip McBasket, marketing director of Wartnose said, " We have been looking for an edge, a way of usurp...
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Funny story: UN Walkout After President Ahmadinejad Farts

UN Walkout After President Ahmadinejad Farts

There was near-pandemonium at the UN anti-racism conference in Geneva this afternoon, when dozens of diplomats headed for the exits after Iranian leader President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad interrupted his speech, to let rip with an enormous fart. The tr...
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Funny story: Prejudiced Chris Moyles gets his wrists and trotters slapped!

Prejudiced Chris Moyles gets his wrists and trotters slapped!

Fat, grotesque, crotch-stain Chris Moyles has had his wrists and trotters ineffectually slapped by his bosses. Although an angry mob called for his public spit-roasting with an apple in his mouth. Bosses ignored the masses of hungry licence fee pay...
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Funny story: Shaheen Jafargholi is Susan Boyle son: says 80 old divorced Taliban husband

Shaheen Jafargholi is Susan Boyle son: says 80 old divorced Taliban husband

Susan Boyle, who shot to world wide fame following her performance on Britain's Got Talent program after singing "I Dreamed A Dream", revealed that she has a secret son. No one has known about him. Recently a spoof reporter named Howy revealed the ne...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle marries Prince Charles

Susan Boyle marries Prince Charles

Susan Boyle is relocating to Clarence House and Camilla Bowles is sent packing. In a bizarre escalation of events "Britain's Got Bullocks" star Susan Boyle has become the press darling, and in a tribute to the common folk, Buckingham Palace had invit...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell nixes Christ on BGT

Simon Cowell nixes Christ on BGT

A contestant claiming to be Christ reincarnate, of the line of David, returned to redeem the chosen, appeared on Britain's Got Talent in Cardiff, Wales on Monday, but was rejected early into his act. The Son of God, dressed in magic act garb, perf...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown to Tony Blair 2002 memo leaked, details confirm rift between the two

Gordon Brown to Tony Blair 2002 memo leaked, details confirm rift between the two

Downing Street officials are in damage control mode today as a 2002 memo from current PM Gordon Brown, then Chancellor, to the PM at the time Tony Blair was leaked to a British Newspaper today. The memo clearly demonstrates the level of resentment...
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Funny story: BBC's Robinson In Medical Miracle Marvel

BBC's Robinson In Medical Miracle Marvel

Medical experts from across the globe are converging on London this week to study a medical miracle which has affected BBC Political Correspondent Nick 'Toenails' Robinson. Doctors are meeting to study Mr Robinson and to identify the causes behind...
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Funny story: Wembley Pitch faces more scrutiny, FA to make changes

Wembley Pitch faces more scrutiny, FA to make changes

The Wembley pitch which has taken so much criticism over the last weekend will be changed the FA has confirmed today. The pitch, which was designed as part football turf and part adventure playground, has raised a number of eyebrows since it was o...
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Funny story: Rep. John Boehner Denies Global Climate Change

Rep. John Boehner Denies Global Climate Change

Former U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner has denied the existence of Climate Change during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, stating that President Bush's energy policy "the right approach on energy." He then suggested invading France to...
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Funny story: Madonna to enjoy Susan Boyle

Madonna to enjoy Susan Boyle

ENGLAND- Madonna's 47th birthday celebration was marred when she suffered several broken bones after falling off her new mare named Susan Boyle. After the accident she has decided to enjoy her mare Susan Boyle the way she enjoyed her old mare wh...
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Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens And Lindsay Lohan To Star In Cagney And Lacey Remake

Vanessa Hudgens And Lindsay Lohan To Star In Cagney And Lacey Remake

Leaked news from Hollywood Ca suggests that teen queens Hudgens and Lohan are to star in a remake of classic 70's TV cop show Cagney and Lacey. The original, which starred Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly as streetwise New York cops scooped awards by th...
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Funny story: OCD and ADHD now being overtaken by OBCT

OCD and ADHD now being overtaken by OBCT

Alarming figures from the UK's Department of Health reveal a significant change in the number of recorded problems among children and young adults. Of the monitored problems, the newly-defined syndrome of Overweight Babies, Children and Teenagers, o...
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Funny story: Prime Minister argues the Government does have balls

Prime Minister argues the Government does have balls

In a frank admission on national television, the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, argued that the Labour Party does have balls. In a heated argument with a man from the BBC with a beard and glasses wearing a suit, (the man and not the suit had the be...
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Funny story: Chris Moyles is not a man... but a giant 'fat' minge!

Chris Moyles is not a man... but a giant 'fat' minge!

Chris Moyles has been indirectly outed as a fat, sweaty, hairy minge by his bosses at that Radio Place. Moyles who has recently been castigated by his bosses for being 'rubbish' and the Miss Piggy's vagina of the Beeb, stated "Yes okay, I have...
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Funny story: Incorrect naming of Calorie means our food intake is over 950 times worse than thought

Incorrect naming of Calorie means our food intake is over 950 times worse than thought

Nutritionists were demanding answers today following the admission by scientists that the Calorie was incorrectly named and that each Calorie we ingest is actually worth 1000 Calories! If this is proved to be true, then a pint of lager may in fact...
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Funny story: The Susan Boyle story - a tale of hypocrisy!

The Susan Boyle story - a tale of hypocrisy!

The Susan Boyle story is a tale that has touched our hypocritical hearts. Therefore we need baddies, the first is the girl on BGT, who appears to be laughing at Susan Boyle, Although she is most likely laughing at something else. However juxtaposed a...
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Funny story: Shaheen Jafargholi emerges as a 'surprise' contender for Britain's Got Talent

Shaheen Jafargholi emerges as a 'surprise' contender for Britain's Got Talent

A 'surprise' contender for the Britain's Got Talent favourite has emerged following the huge publicity that was created by Susan Boyle last week. Shaheen Jafargholi, a young Welsh lad, was chosen as this week's surprise as a way of keeping the pre...
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Funny story: Manchester United Boss Sir Alex Ferguson Calls For Penalties To Be Re-taken

Manchester United Boss Sir Alex Ferguson Calls For Penalties To Be Re-taken

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today unleashed a scathing attack against the FA groundsman responsible for preparing the Wembley Stadium pitch for yesterday's FA Cup semi-final defeat at the hands of Everton, and has called for the p...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle Step Aside

Susan Boyle Step Aside

Susan Boyle has beat a hasty retreat to her hometown, fearful that her dream of winning the competition 'Britain's Got Talent' may not come true, as a young, vibrant singer with perky breasts and questionable morals made her debut last night. Can...
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Funny story: Max Clifford Book Causes Near-Riot As It Goes On Sale In Poundland

Max Clifford Book Causes Near-Riot As It Goes On Sale In Poundland

There was anger and confusion in the West Midlands town of Dudley today, when shoppers in one of the town's premier boutiques noticed media publicist Max Clifford's book for sale on one of its shelves. Poundland - where you've no need to ask; ever...
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Funny story: Nationwide hunt for people who have kissed or done sex with Susan Boyle

Nationwide hunt for people who have kissed or done sex with Susan Boyle

Tabloid people in National Newspapers are on the hunt for anyone who has had carnal relations with the People's Princess- SUSAN BOYLE. Sexy Sue who has held the title of people's princess for seven days, has not divulged if she has 'filled her boo...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle Has First Orgasm While Singing 'Hey Jude'

Susan Boyle Has First Orgasm While Singing 'Hey Jude'

DATELINE:LONDON-- Scottish song-bird Susan Boyle experienced her first sexual orgasm in front of millions of people Sunday night. She was briefly hospitalized following the unexpected physical release, and is resting at home. Susan never had an or...
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Funny story: 1970s To Be Brought Back!

1970s To Be Brought Back!

There was good news for fans of the 1970s today, when world leaders announced that, due to real concerns over environmental issues, the decade that spawned environmentalism, the acceleration of Civil Rights and Feminism, the emergence of Gays from th...
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Funny story: Charities Call for Better Mental Health Provision

Charities Call for Better Mental Health Provision

Mental health charities have called for a radical shake-up of community support provision, after a report released over the weekend showed that mental health issues in the UK are considerably more widespread than originally believed. The calls com...
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Funny story: Paxman Donates Brain to Parkinson's Charity

Paxman Donates Brain to Parkinson's Charity

Celebrities including Jeremy Paxman and Jane Asher have pledged to donate their brains to help find a cure for Parkinson's Disease. About 1,000 people have already joined a donor register run by the Parkinson's Disease Society but the charity hopes t...
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Funny story: CIA requested Jiminy Cricket to torture Gitmo detainee with "bug phobia"

CIA requested Jiminy Cricket to torture Gitmo detainee with "bug phobia"

Amnesty International has accused the Bush administration of performing more tortuous acts against the detainees of Gitmo than have been previously thought possible. Based upon documents discovered in the basement of the Rush Limbaugh Think-Tank of...
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Funny story: Angelina announces retirement from motherhood

Angelina announces retirement from motherhood

In a shock confession in Heat Magazine, Angelina Jolie has announced that she's sick and tired of being a mother and intends to retire at the end of the year. "It's just all getting a little too much for me" she confessed. "Six children, 50% of...
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Funny story: Parliament Rocked By New Cross Party Row

Parliament Rocked By New Cross Party Row

Gordon Brown and David Cameron were locked in a new political row when it was claimed that the Tory chief's wife could run faster than the Labour leaders spouse. Samantha Cameron, who won the mums race at a recent school sports day, is four years...
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Funny story: NIST relieved after 'missing link' found

NIST relieved after 'missing link' found

The US National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) has expressed relief after a team of independent researchers found conclusive evidence of explosives (nano-thermite) in dust samples from the World Trade Centre collapses, as reported on TV...
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Funny story: 5 things do in this stock market

5 things do in this stock market

Number 5. Get as many credit card from different bank as possible and spend all the money on buying car, house, clothes, and if your credit loan can extend buy a jet to fly. At number 4, I would advice people to sell all the stocks in their 401k. Since most of the stock have already lost their market-value, there is no point in keep the junk share in your portfolio. Number 3 goes to bank for...
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Funny story: Hints for Solo Travel in Central America

Hints for Solo Travel in Central America

The following are some helpful guidelines for solo travelers visiting Central America for the first time. Feel free to print this list and refer to it throughout your visit to this beautiful, yet culturally diverse region. Bring anti-nausea medication with you at all times. Accept the fact you will get violently ill anyway. Don't assume that your new Nicaraguan boyfriend is serious when he...
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Funny story: Frost-bite day

Frost-bite day

Today, to most Floridians, would be a perfect beach, pool day. Sunny, warm & relaxing. But what most people don't know is that today is Frost-Bite Day. Frost-Bite Day is to be believed that when Jack Frost died on this day, April 19, that he put a spell on the water and the king of the sea, King Neptune that anyone that hoes or will be dwelt with water will have the curse of Freezing to d...
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Funny story: Queen announces "No more interfering"

Queen announces "No more interfering"

Buckingham Palace - in a shock announcement this morning, Queen Elizabeth II has announced she will no longer interfere with UK or global politics. The Queen is renowned for sticking her beak into things that don't concern her, such as the econo...
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Funny story: New Wembley Stadium Pitch To Be Torn Up After Sir Alex Ferguson Orders It

New Wembley Stadium Pitch To Be Torn Up After Sir Alex Ferguson Orders It

The FA has released a statement on its website this morning to announce that the much-maligned pitch at the new Wembley Stadium will be torn up, after it was alleged by Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, that the pitch was "dead". Fergu...
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Funny story: Elaine Paige and Susan Boyle To Sing On "Dancing With The Stars"

Elaine Paige and Susan Boyle To Sing On "Dancing With The Stars"

HOLLYWOOD - Elaine Paige, who is regarded as "The Queen of English Musical Theater" has agreed to appear on ABC's "Dancing With The Stars" and sing a duet with the Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle. DWTS host Tom Bergeron confirmed that both...
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Funny story: Ten Little Known Facts About Susan Boyle

Ten Little Known Facts About Susan Boyle

LONDON - Susan Boyle, a 47-year-old Scottish woman who now resides in West Lothian, England has shown the world that a female singer does not need to look like Carrie Underwood, Beyonce, or Britney Spears in order to be successful. In just this past week Susan has gone from never having been kissed to receiving her first kiss from none other than Brad Pitt. Susan will be going on tour with t...
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Funny story: The NBA Finals To Go To A Best 16 Out Of 28 Format

The NBA Finals To Go To A Best 16 Out Of 28 Format

MANHATTAN, New York - The NBA which has seen a huge decline in fan attendance as well as an extreme decline in season ticket holders has announced that in order to generate more revenue it will be going from a best 4 out of 7 Finals format to a best...
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Funny story: Iraqis Use New Freedom to Fight with Cocks

Iraqis Use New Freedom to Fight with Cocks

Damn near 4,000 Americans and probably a million Iraqis have died in George W Bush's Pyhrric victory in Iraq. No doubt there is a greater security and thus freedom in Baghdad and some other regions of the nation. Some children are back in school. Liq...
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Funny story: Obama Shocks Torture Community with Embrace of Cuba

Obama Shocks Torture Community with Embrace of Cuba

As the Obama administration has launched attack after assault on the interrogation tactics of the Bush administration, most observers had concluded that torture was not Barack's cup of tea. All that seems to have changed this week as the president ha...
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Funny story: Somali Pirate Fantasy Camp in Top Ten Reality Vacations

Somali Pirate Fantasy Camp in Top Ten Reality Vacations

Placing right between Lost in the Mediterranean and McCain's Hanoi Hilton, coming in at number four, the Somali Pirate Fantasy Camp is one of the up and coming reality vacation experiences. Travel companies have been developing new and unique pro...
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Funny story: Droolmule Counts Politicos' Verbiage

Droolmule Counts Politicos' Verbiage

Website droolmule carries word counts for prominent politicians. Readers have found a surprising verbal snapshot from the five most common words uttered by demagogues over the past few months. President Obama's five magic words, according to dr...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle and Elaine Paige Shack Up

Susan Boyle and Elaine Paige Shack Up

When Susan Boyle told the world that her dream was to be the next Elaine Paige and Ms Paige heard the extraordinary performance of the Scots Soprano, it was love at first listen. Before you could wipe the smirk off Simon Cowell's arrogant puss Boyle...
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Funny story: 'Have A Go Hero' Comes Out On Top Again

'Have A Go Hero' Comes Out On Top Again

Bradford, West Yorkshire, Teatime - 'Have a go' hero pensioner, Harold Callaghan 79, of Ilkley came out on top yet again today when confronted by a gang of crackheads with pit-bull terriers demanding money with menaces. Callaghan, shot seven youth...
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Funny story: Re-Animator Concedes Defeat

Re-Animator Concedes Defeat

Famous re-animation expert and bon vivant Doctor Victor Frankenstein today conceded defeat in his bid to cobble together a body from several body parts and bring it back to life using lightning and chemicals. "It didn't really work out," Frankenst...
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Funny story: Brenda Lee Sues Obama In Royalty Dispute

Brenda Lee Sues Obama In Royalty Dispute

Washington,D.C.-When President Obama gets back from his world tour he'll have one more domestic problem to deal with. Singer Brenda Lee is suing the president over his repeated use of her trademark song "I'm Sorry" without paying royalties or even c...
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Funny story: Everest Summit Kebab/Souvenir Shop To Close

Everest Summit Kebab/Souvenir Shop To Close

London, England - Kebab shop proprietor and all round entrepeneur, Ali Bullo today announced the closure of his Everest summit Kebab cum souvenir cum newsagents shop on the summit of Mount Everest, the highest point on the planet, the roof of the wor...
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Funny story: American Headmaster At London School Kills Student

American Headmaster At London School Kills Student

Roger Evans, headmaster at the Westchester Boys Academy in London, has been arrested on charges of killing young student Bobby Simpson. Evans is accused of having the child shot to death by a group of older boys in a military sciences class. The He...
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Funny story: Dumb Brit Wrinkly Finally Discovers Miley Cyrus

Dumb Brit Wrinkly Finally Discovers Miley Cyrus

Breaking news from Broke Britannia - A wrinkly old fart of a cleaner at the UK's Wigan University, Donald Skoob 97, today told us that he'd finally found out who Miley Cyrus is. The doddery old git, who smelled quite strongly of urine and boiled c...
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Funny story: 'Roots' Author Alex Haley Branded A Racist

'Roots' Author Alex Haley Branded A Racist

UK - Gerald Clusterbuck, 48, a Lecturer in Self Aggrandisement at Scunthorpe University Of Trout Fishing, this evening slammed the classical dissertation on deliverance from slavery by US author Alex Haley, 'Roots' as 'Racist.' Speaking from a pod...
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Funny story: Hollywood to Remake Dr. Strangelove with Paris Hilton

Hollywood to Remake Dr. Strangelove with Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton has been signed to star in a remake of the 1964 classic film Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. The new film will be directed by first time director and former Paris pal Nichole Richie (daughter of pop...
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Funny story: G20 Vandals Receive the Death Penalty

G20 Vandals Receive the Death Penalty

London UK: A British court has found five vandals, who broke windows during a protest of the G 20 Meetings, guilty as charged. The "Foolish Five" as they are known have been sentenced to death by hanging. Following the G20 Meeting police arrested...
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