Funny story: Alan Shearer Appoints Shrek As Assistant

Alan Shearer Appoints Shrek As Assistant

Alan Shearer, the new Newcastle United manager, followed-up his sacking of cheeky chirpry Cockney chappy Dennis Wise yesterday, by today appointing his former Southampton striking partner, Shrek, as his assistant. Shrek, 44, has had unsuccessful s...
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Funny story: Republican's Death Star Will be Fully Operational By 2016 Elections.

Republican's Death Star Will be Fully Operational By 2016 Elections.

Hard-core Republicans, also known in some circles as the 'Evil Empire', plan to have the Death Star fully operational by the 2016 election. The Death Star, which is believed to have the capacity to neutralize the minds of an entire planet, was ad...
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Funny story: Alan Shearer resigns/sacked...

Alan Shearer resigns/sacked...

Alan Shearer, balding, has been sacked... or did he resign. The decision came a couple of minutes after Shearer's press conference, where the board are believed to be unimpressed by his constant fidgeting and annoying body shifting in his chair. T...
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Funny story: Queen, Prince Philip And Michelle Obama In Three Way Sex Romp

Queen, Prince Philip And Michelle Obama In Three Way Sex Romp

The Queen, Prince Philip and US First Lady Michelle Obama allegedly enjoyed a three way sex romp whilst US president Barack Obama was busy at the G20 summit, I can exclusively reveal. Mrs Obama agreed to take part in a "marmite sandwich" with the...
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Funny story: Obamas Charged With Serious Breaches Of Royal Protocol

Obamas Charged With Serious Breaches Of Royal Protocol

Buckwheat's Palace, London, Ingerland - Outrage in the UK as US President and First Lady, Barack and Michelle Obama allegedly breached the rules of Royal protocol whilst here under sufferance in the first place. The First Lady has been widely crit...
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Funny story: Formula One replaced by men racing against one another in fast cars

Formula One replaced by men racing against one another in fast cars

Formula One was today replaced by men racing against one another in fast cars, as Grand Prix after Grand Prix has no racing, no excitement, and is decided days after they happen by all sorts of obscure rules and regulations. 'It had to happen', F1...
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Funny story: Obama Limo wedged in Mc Donald's Drive Thru on return from G20 meeting to Buckingham Palace!

Obama Limo wedged in Mc Donald's Drive Thru on return from G20 meeting to Buckingham Palace!

President of The Free World and giver of the world's most famous "Pearl Necklace" was this evening rescued by members of Blue watch from Aldgate Fire Station after his Bodyguard "Ten Ton Tony" managed to wedge the Presidential Limo in what must be th...
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Funny story: Brit media admits G20 summit is a farce. "Nobody cares about world poverty - this is just an excuse for a First Wives Fashion parade"

Brit media admits G20 summit is a farce. "Nobody cares about world poverty - this is just an excuse for a First Wives Fashion parade"

G20 SUMMIT - LONDON: The Brit media has finally confirmed what the world has always known. The G20 summits are 'just a farce'. Media mogul Rowdy Rudolph admitted that "This has got nothing to do with solving world poverty, or terrorism or AIDS...
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Funny story: England Cricket Team Go On Strike

England Cricket Team Go On Strike

The England cricket team has decided to go on strike because the cricket ball is 'too hard'. They also believe that opponents have been bowling 'too fast and straight' and that they could get their trousers dirty whilst fielding. One player, who w...
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Funny story: Jordan has injured herself during training for London Marathon

Jordan has injured herself during training for London Marathon

News is just coming in that glamour model, Katie Price, better known as Jordan is in training to run the London Marathon. She hopes to raise up to £25,000 for NSPCC and Vision charities. Katie is well-known for three reasons; one of them is being...
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Funny story: Cat On NY TV News Truck Roof Becomes The Story

Cat On NY TV News Truck Roof Becomes The Story

In Mineola, New York a stray cat seeking a warm spot to nap made headlines when Long Island police rescued it from a television news truck's rooftop satellite dish. WCBS-TV reporter Helen McCready said drivers were honking their horns and waving a...
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Funny story: Aviva rebranding results in major workforce economies

Aviva rebranding results in major workforce economies

The UK's biggest insurer Aviva has been able to cut over 1,100 jobs as a result of its name change. Formerly Norwich Union, the financial giant has revealed that the rebranding has been so successful it doesn't need to employ so many staff to cove...
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Funny story: Cole To Renew Contract In Dubai Ceremony

Cole To Renew Contract In Dubai Ceremony

Ashley Cole is set to renew the signing of his contract at a lavish ceremony in Dubai. His agent, Phil Yerboots, said "I can confirm that Ashley is seeking to show how strong his commitment to his wallet is. By renewing the signing of his contract he...
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Funny story: Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Daft Bastard Burns Own House Down

Consternation today following the total incineration of a house, reportedly occupied by a daft bastard. Smoke and flames engulfed the house at eleven am today and the building suffered total structural failure as fire-fighters arrived at the scene.
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Funny story: Barack Obama appointed Newcastle manager

Barack Obama appointed Newcastle manager

American President Barack Obama was today appointed manager of Newcastle United F.C. 'People of Newcastle', he said, 'I am honored to be the manager of, let us not forget, what is one of the most admired and supported teams in England. I mean - wh...
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Funny story: Call For Jade Goody Stories To Be Canned

Call For Jade Goody Stories To Be Canned

A loose alliance of influential UK citizens today lobbied the UK Press Council to desist from publishing Jade Goody stories any further, as they are pointless, and are beginning to cause severe irritation. "We're sick of them," Salmon Rushdie, a n...
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Funny story: The Rolling Stones To Perform At The White House

The Rolling Stones To Perform At The White House

WASHINGTON D.C. - One of the world's greatest rock and roll bands of all time has been booked to play at the White House. A White House representative has in fact confirmed that Mick Jagger, Keith Richard, and the rest of the Rolling Stones band w...
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Funny story: JK Rowlings "Henri Paul" - Biography launched to critical acclaim

JK Rowlings "Henri Paul" - Biography launched to critical acclaim

Who would have thought that JK Rowling would follow up her last Harry Potter Book "Harry Potter stark bollock naked and a horse" with a blockbuster of a biography about Mohamed Al Fayed's Cheuffeur Henri Paul? At a packed venue in New York the gre...
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Funny story: Cricket 'Not Boring' - It's Official!

Cricket 'Not Boring' - It's Official!

For the benefit of everybody who ever thought cricket was 'boring', have we at TheSpoof.com got news for you. Cricket is NOT boring, and a group of scientists from the University of Bedhampton have teamed up to prove it. The team studied every asp...
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Funny story: NASA Refuses Russians Use of American Toilet

NASA Refuses Russians Use of American Toilet

In what is sure to become an international incident of astronomical proportions Russian cosmonauts aboard the International Space Station are complaining to their ground crew at the Baikonur Space Control that American astronauts are refusing to let...
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Funny story: Jesus To Save The Toon

Jesus To Save The Toon

Jesus Christ has been give the job of saving Newcastle United from plunging into the pit of Hell (known as the Championship). In a shock move Newcastle owner Jack Pharisee said "We expect Jesus to be hailed when he arrives at St James' Park. The f...
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Funny story: 10 Signs That You Are Disabled Person Who Drives

10 Signs That You Are Disabled Person Who Drives

You think an SUV might be too small to be safe. It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car. When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until you hear a little crunch. It scares other drivers when you drive the speed limit. The only thing you pass on the road is the Amish. You use cruise control because your leg, if you have one, fell asleep. You use crui...
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Funny story: Newcastle United: "We're Only Here For 8 Games"

Newcastle United: "We're Only Here For 8 Games"

Newcastle United today denied that they were planning on staying in the English Premier division. They insisted that they were only going to remain for another 8 games and would then slide quietly away without anyone noticing. Alan Geordie, the 'f...
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Funny story: Home Secretary's reputation hits new low!

Home Secretary's reputation hits new low!

According to our transport correspondent a new Cabinet scandal is about to hit the headlines. In a bid to avert press speculation over her failing marriage to porn critc Richard Timney, Jacqui Smith and her husband put on a full sexual display on...
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Funny story: Madoff cops close in for the kill as Israeli Foreign Minister Lieberman busted

Madoff cops close in for the kill as Israeli Foreign Minister Lieberman busted

Tel Aviv - (Mossad Pension Fund Ponzi Scam Mess): Bribery, money-laundering and breach of trust are just some of the specialist skills identified in Israel's new Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman who is being probed in the Bernard Madoff $50 billion...
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Funny story: Unusual space energy signal 'a tell-tale sign of Dark Nutter'

Unusual space energy signal 'a tell-tale sign of Dark Nutter'

Space - (The Final Frontier Mess): Worried NASA top brass issued a statement today describing an anomalous energy space signal as a tell-tale sign of the enigmatic phenomenon known as 'The Dark Nutter'. The Agency's specialist astrophysics/parasit...
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Funny story: Home Secretary's antique fireplace eligable for 2nd home allowance

Home Secretary's antique fireplace eligable for 2nd home allowance

Under-fire Labour Ministers are in a hastily convened damage limitation meeting at No10 according to Reuters news agency. Details surfaced just after lunch-time today that Jacqui Smith's 1000 pound historic Marxist fireplace had submitted claims i...
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Funny story: MSNBC Hires Mime Favorite & Longtime Radio Talk Show Host

MSNBC Hires Mime Favorite & Longtime Radio Talk Show Host

Veteran radio mime Henri Gasteau will have his own hour long program on MSNBC, starting 2AM Tuesday. Gasteau has spent 35 years in talk radio where you only heard the music, commercials and answers to the questions Gasteau gestured to his guest wh...
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Funny story: United State for sale: China decline

United State for sale: China decline

London, UK: On the sideline of G20 meeting, a new development is taking place which is still hush-hush to the vast majority of the public. In a secret room, discussion between the Chinese government and the US administration, the US administrations a...
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Funny story: Oh the opprobrium of it all as Michelle Obama is forced to wear same lousy pearls in every G20 photocall

Oh the opprobrium of it all as Michelle Obama is forced to wear same lousy pearls in every G20 photocall

London - (Tightass Husband Mess): "It's a national disgrace!" angry Democrat women all over the world concurred today following the debut of Michelle Obama's lovely cultured pearl necklace at the G20 Summit...which accompanied every single change of...
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Funny story: At least 6 vegitarians killed in G20 protests

At least 6 vegitarians killed in G20 protests

The shock discovery early this morning of 6 decomposing vegetarians on the steps of the Bank of England has lead to calls for Home Secretary Delia Smith to resign. Deputy acting vice assistant chief superintendant constable Constable of the Met sa...
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Funny story: Obama Calls New Budget "Bobby"

Obama Calls New Budget "Bobby"

Delighted at the prospect of getting a new pet, young president Obama had already chosen a name for his soon to be pet bird. He was more than a little annoyed when he found out he was getting a new budget and not a pet budgie as he had originally exp...
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Funny story: G20 Secret Summit Success!

G20 Secret Summit Success!

World leaders defied rioters in London by secretly staging the G20 Summit at a little-known Bed-and-Breakfast establishment in Eastbourne. As masked thugs grappled with police in Threadneedle Street, the politicians were ensconced at The Esplanade...
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Funny story: G20 Circus comes to London

G20 Circus comes to London

The famous G20 Circus arrived in central London today, and journalists eagerly snapped up tickets to go and see it, as the public has about as much interest in it as in an old jellied eel. 'Roll up, roll up!', its manager BBC Barnum yelled to pass...
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Funny story: President Obama And Queen Elizabeth Exchange Gifts

President Obama And Queen Elizabeth Exchange Gifts

LONDON - Proving that it does not have to be Christmas in order to exchange presents President Obama and Queen Elizabeth have exchanged gifts. The American president gave the English queen an iPod with the hits of the band Queen, including "Bohemi...
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Funny story: NHS spends millions on wrong OMD research

NHS spends millions on wrong OMD research

It was revealed earlier today that the NHS has spent over £27million on research into OMD. Unfortunately, an overpaid non-medical management consultant, of which there are thousands in the NHS, thought the research was into the 1980's group Orchestra...
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Funny story: Ohio Man Proves Not Everything Happens For a Reason

Ohio Man Proves Not Everything Happens For a Reason

Columbus resident Steve "Skip" Lomeyer briefly returned from the dead last week to inform his family that his death had no reason or moral and there was nothing to be learned from the whole event. The 68 year old Lomeyer was crossing a street...
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Funny story: USDA Certifies that Michelle Obama is 100% real woman!

USDA Certifies that Michelle Obama is 100% real woman!

An inspector for the United States Department of Agriculture has certified that Michelle Obama is 100% real woman. Earl Schlep, inspector number 47, has given the first lady a look-see from head to toe, to camel toe, and can testify that, "Said w...
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Funny story: Lewis Hamilton Accused Of Lying

Lewis Hamilton Accused Of Lying

Formula 1 motor racing champion Lewis Hamilton has been stripped of his third place finish at last Sunday's Australian Grand Prix today, after it emerged his McClaren team had lied to officials. The sport's world governing body, the FIA, said they...
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Funny story: Queen Revolted By Ipod Gift From Obamas

Queen Revolted By Ipod Gift From Obamas

DATELINE:London-- Queen Elizabeth was in shock last night, according to a royal spokesperson. The queen had just discovered some outrageous tracks on her new Ipod, courtesy of the Obamas. The shallow First Couple gave the cheap gift to the queen y...
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Funny story: Roy Turse refutes anarchist charge

Roy Turse refutes anarchist charge

In a scathing article yesterday, Mr Skoob, the scourge of fleet street, levelled accusations at Roy Turse about his 'prediction' of G20 demonstrator damage, and suggested that he may have been involved in anarchistic activities. In the light of these allegations, several other writers have also turned on Roy, forcing him to issue the following statement: It was an accident! By coincidence I w...
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Funny story: The Police are attacked in G20 Riots!

The Police are attacked in G20 Riots!

The Police have been attacked in the protests around London surrounding the G20 summit. A spokesperson for the English three-piece rock band said 'Sting was pretty unhappy, he said it gave him flash backs from scenes from Quadrophenia, days he would...
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Funny story: Hamilton Stripped of Melbourne Points, Given New Car

Hamilton Stripped of Melbourne Points, Given New Car

Defending F1 World Champion Lewis Hamilton has been stripped of his third place at last week's Australian Grand Prix, and had the points he scored nullified. The Maclaren driver and his team have been retrospectively excluded from the Melbourne ra...
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Funny story: Gandhi to Attend G20 Meeting

Gandhi to Attend G20 Meeting

Heaven on Earth (London): Yesterday's incident at London has shocked all the angels sitting in heaven. The incident happened when most of the 20 powerful world leaders were having holidays at the most expensive beach on the earth. People are protesti...
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Funny story: How to be fashionably hit by the recession

How to be fashionably hit by the recession

Have you been hit by recession? If not, you should be. Being not hit by recession in a highly recessionary economic environment is a sure sign of being an 'out-of-touch with reality' member of the bourgeois class, a barbaric relic of the glorious pre-recessionary times. So what if you are a billionaire business tycoon or a multi-millionaire Hollywood star owning wealth that can feed a dozen of...
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Funny story: Alternative Housing Choices Abound

Alternative Housing Choices Abound

Life on the street doesn't have to be so bad if you consider these housing choices which were unavailable to your hobo grandfather: Kitchen cabinet: Nobody has enough closet space but chances are one of your neighbors has a spare kitchen cabinet or two. Even if that cabinet space is presently occupied by small appliances, ask him to move them to the countertop. They'll get more use if they're r...
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Funny story: George W Bush's April Fool's message

George W Bush's April Fool's message

'Hi, people, just thought I'd deliver my traditional April Fool's message to y'all. And here is the mess - Iraq. Heck, and Afghanimastan! The USA is using thousands of its soldiers to fight and die in the Middle East, for peace and democracy and for world safety.' 'April Fool!!! As if! Afghania equals opium, Iraq equals oils, why else would our dumb, useless Gis be doin' there? Teaching the nat...
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Funny story: Slumdog - further scandal

Slumdog - further scandal

Hot on the heels of allegations over the wellbeing of the child actors appearing in the film, the makers of Slumdog Millionaire have been propelled into a new controversy. While it was suggested that the Slumdog actors were returned to their pre...
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Funny story: Madonna returns adopted child to Tanzania after he eats family dog

Madonna returns adopted child to Tanzania after he eats family dog

New York, NY. Sources close to globe trotting child collecting Madonna report that she has returned a child to Dondoma, Tanzania after he was caught eating the family dog The child was found to be the grandson of renowned Swahili witch doctor,...
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Funny story: Franco-Prussian Alliance Insists on Quiche Lorraine Strudel at G-20

Franco-Prussian Alliance Insists on Quiche Lorraine Strudel at G-20

QLS, the Franco-Prussian alliance's answer to the global economic collapse is a code word for extreme opposition to the US trillion dollar bailout strategy. The Sarkozy-Bruni-Merkel menagerie du tois has aggressively demanded that the G-20 luncheon o...
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Funny story: Jungle Fever Seizes John Bull's Islanders

Jungle Fever Seizes John Bull's Islanders

The most hip and attractive couple on the High Power Tour of 2009 has inflicted a virulent epidemic of full blown Jungle Fever on the decidedly untropical islanders of the UK. Britisher ladies and some lordies have gotten way hot and bothered by the...
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Funny story: Obama Sickens of All WhiteWash G-20

Obama Sickens of All WhiteWash G-20

Semi brown Barack Obama went to the G-20 seeking brotherhood and found only an all white Brown and nothing but the descendants of most of the free world's slavers. Ivy League alumnus Obama has many years experience kissing up to white ass. But no...
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Funny story: Why CEO Really Resigned from GM

Why CEO Really Resigned from GM

In an exclusive interview with the New York Times, the ousted CEO of General Motors explained the reason why he decided to resign. Slurring his words under the blue haze influence of nicotine and Jack, he said that it wasn't the threats against...
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Funny story: Obama slams Pelosi at G-20

Obama slams Pelosi at G-20

Amid the rioting and mayhem (and that's only among the world leaders), President Barack Obama made his first gaffe at the G-20 summit in London, England. After today's news conference at 10 Downing Street, both he and Prime Minister were heard d...
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Funny story: F.D.A. Puts New Limits on Health Foods

F.D.A. Puts New Limits on Health Foods

The Food and Drug Administration has declared that food manufacturering and packaging companies will now be required to use truth in advertising to label more of their products. "This should make it easier for consumers to tell what kind and typ...
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Funny story: British Olympian To Be Stripped Of Knighthood In 'Race' Row

British Olympian To Be Stripped Of Knighthood In 'Race' Row

A Beijing 2008 Olympics hero is to be sensationally stripped of his MBE, after it was discovered that he had directed a tirade of racist abuse at a black actor who he appeared with in a TV advert. In the advertisement for a well known breakfast ce...
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Funny story: G20 police protection

G20 police protection

The G20 meeting in London starts today, April 2nd, when the worlds biggest crooks will be gathered together in the same place. This opportunity has been seized upon energetically by the London Police who are spending over seven million pounds to e...
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