Funny story: Spork Stabbings on Rise in London

Spork Stabbings on Rise in London

London - Mayor Boris Johnson is outraged at the increase in spork stabbings in London. "Spork stabbings are now up to one or two a day. While most incidents have resulted in multiple skin indentations it is only a matter of time before one of these a...
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Funny story: Barack Obama to Expose Himself Completely

Barack Obama to Expose Himself Completely

Senator Barack Obama, feeling that his previous biographies, "Dreams From My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope" have not sufficiently defined his life to voters has been working on a new book. The working title is "The Chicago Story." Obama says...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Has Nude Pictures Of Warren Redlich

Sarah Palin Has Nude Pictures Of Warren Redlich

John McCain's Republican running mate Sarah Palin has told friends back in Alaska that she has the perfect foil against spoof writer Warren Redlich and his stories about her - nude photos of him! Mrs Palin said she had had Mr Redlich 'staked-out'...
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Funny story: PayPal Employees to Wear Mandatory Smile Generators

PayPal Employees to Wear Mandatory Smile Generators

San Jose Ca., Non-FDIC insured PayPal, a payment method use by sellers and buyers worldwide to buy, sell and trade on eBay, announced today that all employees will be fitted for and required to wear "smile generators." "This device is designed t...
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Funny story: Man Charged After Shooting Neighbour's Dog

Man Charged After Shooting Neighbour's Dog

A man has been sentenced to 240 hours community service by Swindon Magistrates Court for shooting a neighbours dog with a pellet-gun, after it repeatedly "defecated itself inside out" on his lawn. "I was going to clear it up of course, but by the...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown-Trousers Is Brown Bread

Gordon Brown-Trousers Is Brown Bread

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown-Trousers is Dead - Metaphorically speaking of course. According to Downing Street sources he just sits at his desk all day staring at a photograph of Tony. He hardly speaks and when he does it is an unidentifiable gr...
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Funny story: Palin Rocks Minneapolis

Palin Rocks Minneapolis

The comedian Sarah Palin has successfully completed the final show in her one-night tour at the Republican National Convention, notorious for its often frosty receptions. Palin managed to win the rowdy crowd over(complete with pink fur-lined stets...
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Funny story: Sandra Bullock says Palin was original role model for Miss Congeniality movie

Sandra Bullock says Palin was original role model for Miss Congeniality movie

Los Angeles - (Lipstick Pitbull Bitch Mess): Hollywood actress Sandra Bollox said today that the 2000 smash-hit movie Miss Congenital Liar was loosely based on Sarah Palin's own 1984 Miss Alaska award. Palin, 44, was sponsored by the Wasilla Gay A...
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Funny story: Britney Spears' Vagina To Be Sewn Up*

Britney Spears' Vagina To Be Sewn Up*

A vagina belonging to pop superstar Britney Spears, is to be sewn up, according to some people in a courthouse Spears' vagina has been the subject of countless stories in the media, especially on obscure English satirical news website TheSpoof.com...
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Funny story: Using Sense

Using Sense

Come on guys, you know the following advice makes SENSE: Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab. Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab. Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab. Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab. and, most importantly... Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department. JUST DO IT!...
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Funny story: Pilot 'comes' down safely

Pilot 'comes' down safely

An experienced stunt pilot has narrowly escaped death as his plane crashed in a field at the Redcliffe airshow. An MaD spokesman said the jet crashed just 200 yards from crowds at about 1140 BST. Onlookers described the horror they witnessed a...
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Funny story: Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete My husband accesses porn sites when I am not in the house. I haven't told him I know about it, as I'm sure he would be angry that I was 'spying' on him. He always deletes the sites he accesses from the history section, but doesn't realise that there are other ways of seeing what he's been downloading. Whenever he gets in before me he usually lies about the time he's got home a...
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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Forced Out Of Newcastle

Kevin Keegan Forced Out Of Newcastle

Kevin Keegan, the former Newcastle United manager, has spoken for the first time about the circumstances which resulted in him being unceremoniously booted-out of St James' Park. Keegan, 57, contacted Radio 5 Live with a statement saying that he h...
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Funny story: Kent Chief Constable airs views about people behind bars

Kent Chief Constable airs views about people behind bars

The Chief Constable of Kent, Nick Scroats, has received an answer from the Secretary of State for Justice to his concerns over the number of people behind bars. The Rt Hon Jack Straw MP has replied to those concerns at a press conference held earl...
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Funny story: Kaiser Chiefs And Ronson Arrested!

Kaiser Chiefs And Ronson Arrested!

British music is today mourning the decline of one of it's most popular yet shit bands, The Kaiser Chiefs after the band were arrested alongside producer Mark Ronson for "shitting the music industry up". The fall from grace comes after their rele...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin To Change Surname To Avoid Ridiculous Confusion With Ex-Monty Python Star

Sarah Palin To Change Surname To Avoid Ridiculous Confusion With Ex-Monty Python Star

Sarah Palin, the running mate of Republican White House hopeful John McCain, is to change her surname to avoid any further confusion with the ex-Monty Python comedian, Michael Palin. Hundreds of writers all over the world have drawn the logical, i...
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Funny story: Gerrard cracks a smile

Gerrard cracks a smile

Liverpool UK: Shocking news reverberated around the world today with the news that Steven Gerrard actually smiled. Mr Gerrard, noted for being a miserable git, was opening a snack bar outside a College in Garston Liverpool. Stunned onlookers stare...
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Funny story: Sarah Palins Husband suffers Stroke, Penis Implant Found!

Sarah Palins Husband suffers Stroke, Penis Implant Found!

HNN NEWS Husband of Governor Sarah Palin, Todd Palin is reported to have suffered a stroke earlier today which has rendered his right side completely paralysed. All was well for the Palins until an x-ray of Mr Palins 'lower half' was 'accidentally' l...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin and 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' teacher Deborah Morse gay naked porno internet videos posted

Sarah Palin and 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' teacher Deborah Morse gay naked porno internet videos posted

Juneau, Alaska - (Lurid Ass Mess): Sarah Palin: GOP femme fatale or poster child for Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club? That is the FBI's top worry as a cache of gay naked porno videos featuring Sarah Palin in flagrente delicto with 'Bong Hits 4 Jesu...
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Funny story: The Self Healing Shoe

The Self Healing Shoe

A new shoe has been invented which the inventor hopes will make a pair of shoes and other footwear last much monger than what we are used to - suggesting up to twenty years before any noticeable deterioration in the health of the shoe. The self-h...
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Funny story: Bush Preggers With Cheney's Gay Sex Child

Bush Preggers With Cheney's Gay Sex Child

The rumors of secret Republican occult gay prostitute goings on at the White house and Bohemiaum Grove have now been unequivocally confirmed with the fact that George Bush is now carrying the secret gay sex child of the current US Vice President, Dic...
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Funny story: Olympic Face Sitting Continues

Olympic Face Sitting Continues

As we reported back in July the new olympic sport of face sitting started way before the rest of the games as it was expected to last much longer than the rest of the tournament. Well, we can now tell you that the final three countries are now in a h...
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Funny story: Tin Knickers and Traffic Lights

Tin Knickers and Traffic Lights

A Manchester night club is trialling a controversial system of a clubber's availability for sex. The system involves and requires clubber's to purchase appropriately coloured armbands on the way into the club. It is hoped the scheme will reduce...
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Funny story: GPS Error for 2012 planners

GPS Error for 2012 planners

A William Shakespeare festival is being planned for the run-up to the 2012 London games as part of an effort to make it a 'Cultural Olympiad'. Unfortunately nobody has yet had the wit to check which Stratford the stadium should be built in. Sev...
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Funny story: Price Of Sex Falls For Third Month In A Row

Price Of Sex Falls For Third Month In A Row

The price of Sex on Britain's streets has now fallen for the third month in a row, giving rise to fears of a global meltdown in the industry, it has been reported. Prostitutes in London are now charging their lowest prices for more than 30 years,...
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Funny story: Mirren to launch 'Nazi-Free' Cocaine Line

Mirren to launch 'Nazi-Free' Cocaine Line

Los Angeles - In an interview today with 'Hallo' magazine Oscar- winning actress Dame Helen Mirren, announced the launch of her new range of drugs which she claims are 100% 'Nazi--Free'. Mirren,106, recently admitted that she stopped using cocaine wh...
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Funny story: McKinnon Marked Man for Hacking Real X-Files

McKinnon Marked Man for Hacking Real X-Files

A demonstration on behalf of Gary McKinnon was held outside the Home Office in London yesterday afternoon with protesters hurling cobs of fermenting chocolate blancmange and lumps of steaming aardvark shite at Home Secretary Jacqui Smith when she appeared on her third floor office balcony, ordering the assembly to "Be quiet and fuck off". Ms. Smith quickly retreated inside when her hi-viz tarta...
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Funny story: Sacked For Scraping The Pot

Sacked For Scraping The Pot

Lancashire in the UK is known for its hotpot and at one time it was so much adored that people would fight over it to some extent. If there was any left on the surface of the pot some people would 'scrape the pot' to get some of it. The term 'scra...
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Funny story: I Like To Eat

I Like To Eat

NEW HOPE - Got anything to eat? I love to eat anything that's handy. Brambles, leaves, twigs, hay, grass, clothes, shoes. Actually, the list is endless. That's a nice Fendi dress you're wearing. What does it taste like? I like those Ferragamo loafers you have on. Bet they're chewy and spicy. I like that purse you're holding. Got anything in there to eat? No? That's OK. I'll just eat the purse i...
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Funny story: Microsoft unveil new game - Toon Wars

Microsoft unveil new game - Toon Wars

Reading UK: Microsoft today unveiled it's latest game for the xbox 360 - Toon Wars - A Newcastle United Manager Sim type game. The press release said - "Microsoft are pleased to announce that Toon Wars will hit the shelves in the UK in the next co...
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Funny story: Normality Is Identified As The Most Damaging Handicap

Normality Is Identified As The Most Damaging Handicap

It has been officially declared that normality is the most common handicap in the world with nine times as many people with it than those without. It is also causes the most devastation affecting the lives of millions of people indirectly since the consequences of being normal when put to wrong use such as abusing power, bullying, selfishness, etc. are more damaging to society in total than the da...
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Funny story: Two Million Bob Cratchetts and a Sea of Tiny Tims By Christmas!

Two Million Bob Cratchetts and a Sea of Tiny Tims By Christmas!

British economic pundits predict that the Ebenezer Scrooges of the UK business world will create two million Bob Cratchetts and a comparable number of Tiny Tims by Christmas. But an eleventh hour conversion and a last minute Christmas goose will n...
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Funny story: 10 Absolute truths of the 2008 Presidential race!

10 Absolute truths of the 2008 Presidential race!

1. Barack Obama is DEFINITELY 100% Muslim. 1. Bristol Palin is ABSOLUTELY the mother of her brother Trig. 2. John McCain is a Manchurian candidate. 2. Barack Obama is a front man for Black militant terrorists. 3. Michelle Obama is an angry black woman dying to be First Lady so she can destroy America. 3. Cindy McCain is actually a Stepford wife. 4. Sara...
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Funny story: Paralympics To Be As Big As Olympics - But More Scary!

Paralympics To Be As Big As Olympics - But More Scary!

After the sensational spectacle of the Beijing Olympic Games, now comes the Paralympics on Saturday, and the organisers are saying they expect them to be every bit as good as the main Games, and a damned sight more uncomfortable for those who are a b...
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Funny story: UK population to be frozen down

UK population to be frozen down

In a shock announcement this morning, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced plans to put the population of the UK into suspended animation for the next 5 years. In a press conference at 10 Downing street this morning the Prime Minister announc...
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Funny story: Hollywood Celebrates 25 Years of Cruise

Hollywood Celebrates 25 Years of Cruise

Hollywood celebrates twenty-seven years of Tom Cruise's career by re-releasing his entire twenty-five years of block-buster movies as enhanced directors' cuts with Cruise digitally removed from all scenes. 'This represents a new standard in the C...
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Funny story: Monopolies Commission not happy with John McCain

Monopolies Commission not happy with John McCain

John McCain, the USA Presidential hopeful, has now got himself into trouble with the UK Monopolies Commission, the organisation that monitors monopolistic practices throughout the country. The chairman of the Potato Growers Association in the UK,...
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Funny story: RNC Slogan, Desperation First! Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah!

RNC Slogan, Desperation First! Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah!

The Republican National Convention put its most desperate foot forward into its mouth in the Twin Cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. For a Christian conservative based party, there were more wife abandoners on board than a booze cruise around Sin City, Ma...
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Funny story: Palin's Four Month Old Daughter, Fathered By McCain Gives Speech of Her Lifetime at RNC

Palin's Four Month Old Daughter, Fathered By McCain Gives Speech of Her Lifetime at RNC

Without saying a word, Sarah Palin's 4 month old daughter kept up till midnight communicated volumes to the million or two half watching the Republican National Convention. Viewers rapidly turned channels as polygamist Big City Rudy Giuliani trie...
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Funny story: One Black couple at RNC Collapse from Media Fatigue!

One Black couple at RNC Collapse from Media Fatigue!

A new ailment in a world of pain has reared its ugly face in the twin cities of St Paul and, er, the other one. The unlikely victims of the latest scourge of humanity is being called "Media fatigue" or MF. The victims diagnosed with the disease w...
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Funny story: Palin's Hubbie Invented the Snowcone Machine!

Palin's Hubbie Invented the Snowcone Machine!

RNC cheerleaders celebrated the fact that the Repub Candie VPilf's husband was the original inventor of the classic children's toy: The Snowcone machine! Mr Palin on the verge of becoming the second lady was thrust into the national spotlight ini...
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Funny story: Lieberman: McCain Knows When To Make A Disastrous Vice Presidential Choice

Lieberman: McCain Knows When To Make A Disastrous Vice Presidential Choice

Amid party concern that John McCain's sputtering campaign had lost all chance of triumphing in November by his selection of former beauty queen, Alaskan governor and 'Troopergate' star Sarah Palin, Senator Joe Lieberman (I-CT), who caucuses with the...
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Funny story: Palin Children Trigger and Bullet Create Happy Trails for RNC Cult Members!

Palin Children Trigger and Bullet Create Happy Trails for RNC Cult Members!

More Republican delegates in the Twin cities RNC remembered Roy Rogers and Dale Evans as the greatest American first couple than knew the name of the last Republican in the White House. That is probably the reason why the seriously white and seni...
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Funny story: Guliani warns RNC Against "European Ideas" like Rousseau's Individualism and Montesquieu's Democracy!!

Guliani warns RNC Against "European Ideas" like Rousseau's Individualism and Montesquieu's Democracy!!

Rudy Giuliani who seems to have temporarily retired from his role as PR man for 9-11 after raking in millions has recently turned to the Real estate business where he is busy selling America to strong dollar countries first! But just for one nigh...
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Funny story: Hurricane Gustav Fails To Deliver Hurricane Season To Global Stage

Hurricane Gustav Fails To Deliver Hurricane Season To Global Stage

High anticipation turns to bitterness as much-hyped Hurricane Gustav crawls ashore New Orleans an anemic category 3, leading many to write off this year's hurricane season. "All of us in the sporting world had high anticipation for Gustav," said R...
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Funny story: USA Ryder Cup captain picks Monty as wildcard

USA Ryder Cup captain picks Monty as wildcard

In a shock twist today, USA Ryder Cup Captain Paul Azinger picked Colin Montgomerie as a wild card for the USA team, after J.B Holmes pulled out because of toothache. Following his omission from the European wild card picks, Azinger revealed that...
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36
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38
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32
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62
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