Funny story: Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Men encouraged to include threesomes on their CVs

Bosses are urging male applicants to include details of participation in threesomes with two women, on their curricula vitae on the grounds that there is no greater achievement for a man. "We like our applicants to graduate with first class honour...
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Funny story: Drama As Stephen Hawking 'Scared' At Unveiling Of Strange New Clock

Drama As Stephen Hawking 'Scared' At Unveiling Of Strange New Clock

Drama in Cambridge yesterday, as Stephen Hawking, the 'human droid', was injured by a falling black sheet of material as he helped to unveil a new £1million clock. "The strangest clock in the world", as it has been described, was being revealed by...
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Funny story: Giddy-Up Poll Shows McCain Ahead

Giddy-Up Poll Shows McCain Ahead

The latest Giddy-Up poll shows that GOP candidate John McCain currently leads Democratic candidate Barack Obama by three percentage points (53% to 50%). When a Giddy-Up representative was told that 53% and 50% added up to 103%, and just exactly h...
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Funny story: Alitalia Cancels Flights After Planes Start Flying Backwards

Alitalia Cancels Flights After Planes Start Flying Backwards

Alitalia, the national airline of Italy, has cancelled all of its flights out of Rome's Fiumicino airport tonight, after several of its passenger fleet were reported to be 'flying backwards'. The airline confirmed that a number of flights have bee...
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Funny story: Peter Beardsley Tells Newcastle Fans To Lay Off Mike Ashley

Peter Beardsley Tells Newcastle Fans To Lay Off Mike Ashley

Newcastle United legend Peter Beardsley has told Geordie fans to lay off Mike Ashley, and to acknowledge and appreciate the good work the owner has done for the Tyneside club. Beardsley, who played for Newcastle between 1983 and 1987, and again fr...
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Funny story: London Taxi Fires Explained

London Taxi Fires Explained

Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse was today able to reveal the mysterious cause of recent black cab fires in London. "After extensive research and interviews with drivers I can now reveal the cause of the hitherto unexplained events." said Pro...
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Funny story: NATO's Autumn Equinox warning: Queen 'is like a Damien Hirst sheep trapped in formaldehyde'

NATO's Autumn Equinox warning: Queen 'is like a Damien Hirst sheep trapped in formaldehyde'

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - (Nikita Khrushchev Mess): NATO bigwigs reckon the IRA Puppet Monarch may not survive the most cataclysmic Autumn Equinox since Alaric, king of the Visigoths, sacked Rome in 410 AD. "She's like some cloven-hooved beastie...
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Funny story: David Beckham buys AIG

David Beckham buys AIG

A beaming David Beckham announced that he had bought the insurance company AIG. "I thought that it was about time my kids learned the value of money," said David. "Besides, it'll give them something to play with." Victoria Beckham was visibly...
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Funny story: Bank of England holds car boot sale

Bank of England holds car boot sale

The bank of England today announced it would be holding a car boot sale to raise much needed funds. Punters would be able to purchase items ranging from pens on chains to an ATM machine. Bank chairman Sir Alfred P. Moneybags said "We believe we...
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Funny story: Bush Announces Health Care Funding for the Masses!

Bush Announces Health Care Funding for the Masses!

President George W. Bush announced today that he has designated two billion dollars to fund health care for ladybugs. Surprisingly, more that 100 billion ladybugs are currently without healthcare. "This is a travesty for the bugs which provide es...
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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider blamed in Tottenham win shock

Large Hadron Collider blamed in Tottenham win shock

Leading sports analysts are at a loss to explain the recent football match victory by a Spurs team. Ambulances had to be called to the stadium shortly after the final whistle as hysterical fans poured out into Tottenham High Road, one man had to b...
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Funny story: BBC Budget Cuts

BBC Budget Cuts

Drastic budget cuts have been announced by the BBC in the run up to the Christmas season. This follows a steady year of Noel Edmund's not paying for his TV Licence, and Anne Robinson taking home more of the money. Mr Anthony Lackey told us: 'It is...
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Funny story: Confucius (China's Original Punster)

Confucius (China's Original Punster)

Confucius one of the greatest Chinese thinkers and social philosphers of all time had literally thousands of sayings. One of his better known is "The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones." Noted Australian writer and famed koa...
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Funny story: My Little Tony

My Little Tony

Sales of an action figure of former Prime Minister Tony Blair are said to be the big hit of this Christmas, for children, and credit-crunch affected adults. The figure, which is fully posable, with shifting eyes, and a four phrase vocabulary of 'L...
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Funny story: Bush authorizes U.S. Treasury Dept. to print a One Trillion-Dollar Bill to pay for Wall Street bailout

Bush authorizes U.S. Treasury Dept. to print a One Trillion-Dollar Bill to pay for Wall Street bailout

Washington, DC - In another unprecedented moment for the fiscal annals of the United States of America, today Bush authorized the U.S. Treasury department to print a one trillion dollar bill to pay for the Wall Street robber baron bailout. Meanwhile,...
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Funny story: Local Man Builds a 'Wickerman' for Vile Pervert Gary Glitter

Local Man Builds a 'Wickerman' for Vile Pervert Gary Glitter

Major Tom and Major Minor exclusively revealed their plan to burn the Pop Pervert Gary Glitter in their hand made Wickerman. Major Minor will patiently wait outside the Pop Peado Gary Glitter's place of stay as the location has been freely given b...
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Funny story: Hadron collider "Big Bang" claims first human victim

Hadron collider "Big Bang" claims first human victim

The Hadron Collider has claimed its first life following its dramatic switch on at 8.30am on the 10th September. Despite the EU's attempts to suppress the news, a leaked memo to the Alderley Edge branch of the Co-op Funeral Home has confirmed this...
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Funny story: Chinese Baby Milk Formula has Radioactive Half-Life of 50,000 years

Chinese Baby Milk Formula has Radioactive Half-Life of 50,000 years

For centuries known to the West as the Middle Kingdom or the Jhong-guo (lit' translation Mandarin = Humungous Shithole) and renown for it's highly evolved culture of bureaucratic corruption and barbaric laws, the China of today doesn't seem to have c...
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Funny story: Dead cat bounce as Wall Street rallies on Bush sub-prime slop-bucket scam

Dead cat bounce as Wall Street rallies on Bush sub-prime slop-bucket scam

Off-the-Wall-St, NY - (Ass Mess): Wall Street has reacted with a classic dead cat bounce following news of the Bush Administration-created hedge fund equivalent of a sub-prime slop bucket to absorb US banks' dodgy punts. US Treasury Secretary Hank...
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Funny story: Obama Accepts Ahmadinejad's Offer to join Debate Team Against McCain/Palin!

Obama Accepts Ahmadinejad's Offer to join Debate Team Against McCain/Palin!

NY/NY Daily Worker - Barack Obama graciously accepted the Iranian's offer to join in the Presidential Debate process, and announced Ahmadinejad would be joining his team taking on Sen. McCain and Governor Palin in the upcoming debates. "I talked...
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Funny story: U.K Tabloid "Hero" Journalist Dies in Commode Horror

U.K Tabloid "Hero" Journalist Dies in Commode Horror

"Hero" tabloid journalist was being mourned world-wide after dying suddenly on his commode. Stewart "Danny Boy" Maclaine, 33 3/4 years old finally succumbed to a chronic illness and passed away while defecating on his commode; which is an old fashion...
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Funny story: Heroic Para Olympians

Heroic Para Olympians

Team GB returned home to a tumultuous reception and were met at Heathrow Airport by Gordon Brownose! They came second in the Para Olympics with a Tally of 102 medals. China won first place with 211 medals. However what is not widely known is t...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown in bid to become leader, shock

Gordon Brown in bid to become leader, shock

The Labour Party is awash with rumour that tough-talking party dictator Gordon Brown is about to make a bid to become leader. The dour Scot has refused to confirm or deny the rumour that he is planning to oust the current leader, himself, and then...
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Funny story: Credit Crunch doesn't exist, research suggests

Credit Crunch doesn't exist, research suggests

The newspapers are all writing about it, the TV and radio stations are full of people talking about it, housewives are all chinwagging about it, and business people are all afraid of it. But new research suggests that the popular Credit Crunch is...
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Funny story: Cliff Richard enters re-hab

Cliff Richard enters re-hab

Squeeky clean and God Loving Cliff Richard has confessed to entering rehab. It has come to light that his clean living lifestyle has been a sham and a lie for the past 60 years. Cliff has managed to stay so young looking through a daily injection...
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Funny story: Building Society Near Collapse Hits Howard Hard

Building Society Near Collapse Hits Howard Hard

The near collapse of the Halifax Building Society this week has had a big effect on bespectacled employee Howard Thingy this week. The employee who was plucked from the obscurity of cashiers desk to become a singing sensation for the many tedious...
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Funny story: Nempnett Thrubwell to buy Newcastle United Football Club

Nempnett Thrubwell to buy Newcastle United Football Club

Due to Kevin Keegan leaving and Mike Ashley trying to sell the club a bid has put on the table. The small village of Nempnett Thrubwell in Somerset has raised interest in purchasing the club. Somerset currently does not have a Premiership Footb...
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Funny story: Judith Chalmers In Hospital After Dudley Visit

Judith Chalmers In Hospital After Dudley Visit

TV personality Judith Chalmers was recovering in hospital last night after a visit to West Midlands town of Dudley. The former Wish You Were Here host was in the town to film an episode of Wish You Were Here, Do You?, her new series, but was overc...
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Funny story: Her first day in Office

Her first day in Office

Sarah Palin, gave reporters the details of her first day in office, if she were to be elected with running mate John McCain. "Well, the white House sure could use some new curtains and the color scheme has been around for ages. I think maybe a b...
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Funny story: UK Aims For Fairness to "Birds" by 2195!

UK Aims For Fairness to "Birds" by 2195!

As Obama calls for immediate wage fairness for US females and McCain finds out that women actually have jobs, the United Kingdom has established the lofty goal of pay equity between the genders by the year 2195. "England will not rest until we en...
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Funny story: The Tall Tail & The Short Cook

The Tall Tail & The Short Cook

LONDON - The shortest man in the world is He Pingping of China who stands 2'5". He was in Trafalgar Square to publicize the book "The Guinness World Records 2009" along with Svetlana Pankratova who stands 6'4". Her legs reportedly go from Dallas to Fort Worth and measure 52 inches long (that's 4'4"). When Pingping was asked what he thought about as he was standing directly underneath Svetlana's dr...
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Funny story: UFO INC Sells Flying Saucer Weapons to Our Enemies!

UFO INC Sells Flying Saucer Weapons to Our Enemies!

Once the aliens got wind of the gigantic weapons sales that US arms dealers and their Pentagon procurers were selling to fuel a new century of wars, the capitalist's best friend, the little blue doctors decided to even the sides a bit. Nuclear po...
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Funny story: Bush Eats Lobster with African Tribal Chieftain While Wall Street Crumbles!

Bush Eats Lobster with African Tribal Chieftain While Wall Street Crumbles!

In between the crumbling of Lehman Bros. and the chopping block auction of AIG, W had a dinner dance at the White House for Ghana's President with Lobster and ginger Lamb. After the feasting and waltzing, the 100 celebrity couples were entertained in...
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Funny story: UK TV Reality Show Producer to Execute Members of Public on "Prime-time" TV

UK TV Reality Show Producer to Execute Members of Public on "Prime-time" TV

Phil "Aled/Tom" Jones the UK producer of a pot-boiling Reality TV shows, such as "Big Bruvver Litle Sista " has revealed he is to star in a new "piss-stain" of a reality TV show. "Piss-Poor pun for a TV programme" "House of the Rising Gun" se...
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Funny story: Arianna Huffington Challenges Sarah Palin to Mud Wrestling Contest

Arianna Huffington Challenges Sarah Palin to Mud Wrestling Contest

In an attempt to discredit the Republican vice-presidential nominee, fifty-something political pundit Arianna Huffington has challenged forty-something Alaska governor Sarah Palin to three rounds of mud wrestling. "We are going to roll around in t...
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43
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47
3rd
37
4th
46
5th
32
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7th
31
8th
50
9th
35
10th
36
11th
32
12th
33
13th
36
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40
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38
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32
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62
18th
32
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35
20th
24
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32
22nd
38
23rd
48
24th
33
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48
26th
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27th
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