Funny story: Lloyds TSB Merges With HBOS, Economist Warns Customers "Withdraw Your Savings!"

Lloyds TSB Merges With HBOS, Economist Warns Customers "Withdraw Your Savings!"

Lloyds TSB is to merge with the troubled HBOS, creating a banking giant that will hold almost a third of UK customers' savings and mortgages. Economists have reacted by advising investors to immediately withdraw their savings from the new company.
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Funny story: Lehman Brothers too small and sound to save, says Fed

Lehman Brothers too small and sound to save, says Fed

New York, New York - Negotiations broke down between Lehman Brother representatives and that of the feds for a federal bailout when the accounting books disclosed that Lehman Bothers did not qualify under the Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrin...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Refuses to Appear with Michael Palin

Hillary Clinton Refuses to Appear with Michael Palin

President Clinton's wife Hillary Clinton was at a movie in New York City recently when she spotted Monty Python comedian and traveler Michael Palin entering the theatre. It was reported that she immediately left the theatre, even though she had alrea...
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Funny story: Manchester United Slide Continues In Champions League Shut-out

Manchester United Slide Continues In Champions League Shut-out

Manchester United continued their poor start to the season at Old Trafford in the Champions League tonight when, amid the confusion over their opponents' name, they failed to convert numerous half-chances into goals, drawing 0-0 with Villarreal. V...
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Funny story: Quavers Crisps fail musical test

Quavers Crisps fail musical test

In a similar breaking story, busy research scientist Mike Geek also revealed some other secrets about our food-stuffs. 'You see' he ranted to anyone within ear-shot 'Quaver's failed every musical test we gave them, except for the ones in crispness...
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Funny story: Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrine rescues another Wall Street Titian: [insert name here]

Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrine rescues another Wall Street Titian: [insert name here]

Washington, DC - Be it Bear Sterns, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac or even AIG, the word on Wall Street is that the Feds are willing to go along with the new economic model of privatizing the profits while socializing the liability to Main Street. Once agai...
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Funny story: Monster Munch contains no Monster

Monster Munch contains no Monster

Scientists in Minnesota have proven beyond almost all doubt that Monster Munch actually contains no Monster. Mike Geek from the Institute of undeniable Facts said: 'We thought Monster Munch contained Monster, or at least trace elements of them. No...
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Funny story: Heather Mills McCartney cast as Wicked Witch

Heather Mills McCartney cast as Wicked Witch

In a surprise casting, Heather Mills McCartney has been cast as the Wicked Witch in a Pantomime in Rhyll. The production, which stars Joe Pasquale as Buttons, Sonia as Cinderella, and the Grumbleweeds as every other character has sold out many of...
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Funny story: Moomin Valley to be Flooded

Moomin Valley to be Flooded

News has just reached us that Environmental groups plan to stop Government efforts to flood fictional place, Moomin Valley, home of the Moomintrolls, lovable creatures from the past. Moomins are very much like Hobbits, in that they don't actually...
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Funny story: Rentaghost - The Serial Killer Thriller to be released in Cinemas on Friday

Rentaghost - The Serial Killer Thriller to be released in Cinemas on Friday

Timothy Claypole, the never funny court Jester in children's sitcom Rentaghost is to be recast as a serial killer in the forthcoming film of the series that is being released on Friday. Claypole will be played by heavyweight English Thespian Jerem...
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Funny story: Long Distance Clara arrested for Speeding

Long Distance Clara arrested for Speeding

Pigeon Street's beloved Long Distance Driver Clara has shocked many of her neighbour's in the multi-cultural cartoon street, where she lives with Italian Chef Husband Luigi, by being arrested for speeding, a move which could seriously damage her 30 y...
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Funny story: London Taxi's in safety scare.

London Taxi's in safety scare.

Hundreds of black cabs in London are to undergo safety checks over fears they may burst into flames. About 500 vehicles have been recalled after seven engine fires were reported in London in the past three months. Taxi drivers believe that a...
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Funny story: Dog Fleas go to Cat for holiday

Dog Fleas go to Cat for holiday

Mr and Mrs Smith, two fleas from Walthamstow have told all about their holiday plans for this year. Mr Smith, a small Flea, known locally for his outlandish ideas and plans said: 'Me and the Mrs need a holiday. It is not easy being a flea you kno...
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Funny story: Shopping Trolley with one working wheel

Shopping Trolley with one working wheel

There was consternation in a London store today, when a shopping trolley was found to have only one working wheel. Sally Allports-South from the unnamed shop, where everything costs £1 takes up the story for us: 'Wayne, our trolley boy, was wheeli...
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Funny story: Red Grapes cause fight in a Supermarket

Red Grapes cause fight in a Supermarket

A fight broke out in the Shepton Mallet supermarket, following an argument over the last of the Red Grapes within the store. Peter Thin, and Sonia Wafer had their eyes on the last bunch of Red Grapes when Sonia saw the metaphorical red mist. She r...
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Funny story: Strawberry Flavoured Ketchup is not a Big Seller

Strawberry Flavoured Ketchup is not a Big Seller

News from a leading supermarket is that their brand new range of Strawberry Ketchup has been the slowest seller of all of the stores ranges. It is even slower than sales of Apple and Anchovie pie, which tests had proved would have been a big seller w...
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Funny story: President calls United States: Peoples' Republic of America

President calls United States: Peoples' Republic of America

Today, president Bush called a press conference to explain his backing of the government's bailout of insurance giant AIG. "Comrades", the president said in opening up his speech, "today we have added another financial institute to the People's R...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown sacks himself in protest against himself

Gordon Brown sacks himself in protest against himself

Gordon Brown sacked himself from his post as Prime Minister of Great Britain today in a showing of solidarity with Labour party rebels who argue that he should resign. Brown wholeheartedly supported calls for himself to be let go as Labour party...
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Funny story: Thousands Stranded by XL Travel Collapse

Thousands Stranded by XL Travel Collapse

The collapse of the UK's third largest package holiday group has left tens of thousands of Britons stranded abroad in a variety of exotic destinations, ranging from the Isle of Dogs to Antarctica, and Butlin's Kinshasa to the Gobi Desert. The dec...
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Funny story: Top Government Officials Take One For the Team

Top Government Officials Take One For the Team

President Bush has implemented a new policy, which includes no persons of the United States Government Top Officials shale own any assets over $500, 000.00 during any economic hardship. Also included in this policy are provisions that state, all off...
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Funny story: Planet Earth left unattended for too long

Planet Earth left unattended for too long

Jesus today returned from his two thousand year holiday to find the Earth in turmoil. "What the hell has happened here," he said as he arrived at Heathrow's terminal 5. "It's bad enough that they've lost my luggage, I mean what has been going on?!...
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Funny story: New York City financial district physically moved to the White House front lawn by house movers

New York City financial district physically moved to the White House front lawn by house movers

New York, New York - Thousands of employees in New York City's finacial district woke up this morning to find that their buildings in which they work had been moved to the front lawn of the White House. House movers relocated the entire financial dis...
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Funny story: Good news as scientists create wondrous economic breakthrough

Good news as scientists create wondrous economic breakthrough

The world's financial markets breathed a sigh of relief when Professor Hugh Jarse revealed his latest creation. "By injecting genes from a bank safe into a pig foetus I have managed to create actual 'Piggy Banks'." said Professor Jarse. "You ca...
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Funny story: Alcohol, wonder cure for everything.

Alcohol, wonder cure for everything.

In breaking news today it was revealed that alcohol was the answer to all the worlds problems. Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse said today, "I have been trying to find all sorts of answers to all sorts of problems when I just had enough."...
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Funny story: Damien Hirst Finishes His Next Masterpiece

Damien Hirst Finishes His Next Masterpiece

Not long after his record breaking Sotherby's auction of dead rotting stuff dressed up as art to idiot elites who have nothing better to spend their money on, now that they've become board of normal things such as mansions, cars, planes and unlimited...
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Funny story: California Governor Steps Up His Attack Against Greenhouse Gases by Taxing Farting

California Governor Steps Up His Attack Against Greenhouse Gases by Taxing Farting

Today California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced a new initiative to start taxing resident's farting in order to reduce the emission of the state's green house gasses. "We are going to find out who is causing all of this 'Global Warm...
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Funny story: Pope Rescinds Remarks About Martin Kippenberger's Frog

Pope Rescinds Remarks About Martin Kippenberger's Frog

This morning, a sheepish Pope, Benedict XVI announced to a gathered audience that he is apologizing for asking an art museum in Northern Italy to remove the display of a frog on a cross that was created by German artist Martin Kippenberger "We rea...
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Funny story: Santa Claus Asks NATO Help After Russia Invades

Santa Claus Asks NATO Help After Russia Invades

North Pole-- Santa Claus called NATO headquarters today after a surprise Russian invasion of the North Pole. The Russians now claim the entire Arctic as their territory, along with its untold oil riches. Fierce hand-to-hand combat was reported at San...
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Funny story: Fast food chain to open a bank

Fast food chain to open a bank

With the recent collapse of Lehman Brothers and the credit crunch McDonalds have decide to combine takeaway food and banking. The idea is that the more junk food that people buy will save them money on purchasing food. This money can then be direc...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Pisces

Your Horoscope : Pisces

Help with an ethical matter will be forthcoming this week. Follow a friends advice regarding a moral dilemma that has been troubling you for some time. A surprise source of income could come your way. You have discovered that a distant relative has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer and that the prognosis is poor. She is a spinster and has no close relatives. Even better she owns a four...
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Funny story: Tom "What's New Pussycat?" Jones

Tom "What's New Pussycat?" Jones

PONTYPRIDD, SOUTH WHALES - 1960'S singing sensation Tom Jones, who had such hits as "It's Not Unusual," "What's New Pussycat," and "She's A Lady" has just announced that he is releasing his first album in the United States in 15 years. Jones who...
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Funny story: Pelosi Apologizes for Charlie Rangel, Torches Administration for Economic Woes!

Pelosi Apologizes for Charlie Rangel, Torches Administration for Economic Woes!

Washington DC/Washington Post - Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, third in line for the Presidency, made light of Rep. Charles Rangel's recent tax avoidance problems. "This is not an ethical problem," she pronounced," this is a racial pr...
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Funny story: UK to declare war on Nigerian 419 scams

UK to declare war on Nigerian 419 scams

The United Kingdom is going to wage an all out war against Nigerian scammers, it said today. "We've had enough of the bastards, they are going down" Said Gordon Brown. "We've already bombed eight internet cafes in Lagos, and many more will foll...
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Funny story: Hillary Kicks off 2012 Campaign, Alienates Jewish Support for Obama!

Hillary Kicks off 2012 Campaign, Alienates Jewish Support for Obama!

NY/NY The New York Times - Never missing the opportunity to take advantage of a partisan news event, the defeated Presidential Democrat candidate ironically bowed out of a planned demonstration at the UN, calling the event "TOO partisan." The decis...
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Funny story: Russian vodka pipeline on the rocks

Russian vodka pipeline on the rocks

Bloodyvostock - (Ass Mess): Cops have smashed a 1552 mile long underground vodka pipeline between the Kremiln and the Abramovich Arms pub in Chelsea. Dozens of moonshiners are under arrest and the smuggling scam has seen 90% of subterranean EU 'te...
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Funny story: Arctic Sea Ice Grows: More Proof of Global Warming

Arctic Sea Ice Grows: More Proof of Global Warming

Scientists reported yesterday that the low point for Arctic sea ice in 2008 was 9% larger than in 2007. Global warming advocate Walt Meier expressed deep concern to the Walsh Strait Journal (WSJ), stating: "Even though the sea ice didn't retreat this...
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Funny story: McCain dumps Palin, picks Tina Fey

McCain dumps Palin, picks Tina Fey

Sen. John McCain announced actress Tina Fey as his vice presidential candidate Wednesday, calling her "the running mate who can best help me shake up Washington." "She's exactly who this country needs to help me fight the same old Washington polit...
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Funny story: 'My faith in getting away with it' as Blair tries satire on US TV show

'My faith in getting away with it' as Blair tries satire on US TV show

America - (AssoCIAted Mess): Former UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has turned to a stint at satire in a bid to polish up his putrid, JP Morgan money-grubbing, tarnished image. He will appear as the star attraction on Thursday's The Daily Show with Jo...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Aquarius

Your Horoscope : Aquarius

Maintain a positive attitude and things will naturally flow your way this week. Tell a few jokes [not the one about the baseball bat and the care home assistant], and keep things light and energetic. You will find that you can multi-task very well, and that you have the built-in ability to make everyone around you smile. Don't shy away from things, move toward them. Put away your self-doubt th...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Libra

Your Horoscope : Libra

You certainly are in a strange mood this week, Librans. True, things have been running unusually smoothly for you the past few days, but be careful not to fool yourself. Pride comes before a fall, as they say. With Jupiter's moon's entering Saturn, a Schizophrenic breakdown is a distinct possibilty. However, relax. Recent developments in neuroleptic medications have now reduced the demonic voic...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Scorpio

Your Horoscope : Scorpio

There are days when you will feel truly wonderful this week Scorpio. If you are thinking about changing careers my advice to you is 'Go for it'. With the Moon entering Pluto success is virtually guaranteed. I'd go as far as to tell your present boss to stick his job up his fat arse. Similarly, if you are contemplating leaving your partner and kids for that young dental nurse you have been seei...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Sagittarius

Your Horoscope : Sagittarius

No matter what you are doing today, have fun with it, dear Sagittarius. Whistle a tune or sing a song. Turn the stereo up to full volume and dance around your kitchen as you make dinner. Remember that you can find amusement in just about anything, even terminal illness, so keep this in mind as you tackle even the most revolting of tasks . You are responsible for your own attitude. If you wanna...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Virgo

Your Horoscope : Virgo

First the good news. This week Virgos, you will be offered the trip of a lifetime. A free first class plane ticket and £10,000 cash to travel around the world at your leisure for the next 12 months. The bad news is however you will have to refuse the offer. With global terrorism due to reach it's peak in 2008, it would be total madness to leave your house let alone the country. Sure the Taj Ma...
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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Aries

Your Horoscope : Aries

The once a year visit of the new moon to your partnership chart makes romance a probability. Put more simply, if you play your cards right it should be 'furry beard time' from now till Good Friday. On a more cautious note if you have a best friend called either Ian or Lisa be careful. The wilful planet Saturn is in their cusp and consequently they are more than likely to contract a serious bact...
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Funny story: Striesand's Hits Chronicle Democrats Woes at Obama Fundraiser!

Striesand's Hits Chronicle Democrats Woes at Obama Fundraiser!

Hollywood/LA Times - The Hollywood A-List turned out in record numbers to raise money for their anointed Presidential Candidate Barack Obama, and to be musically reminded of their political past by the Liberal Diva. The cheering crowd of Beautiful...
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Funny story: Opus Dei bankrupt as 'God's Banker Mk#2' sinks

Opus Dei bankrupt as 'God's Banker Mk#2' sinks

Off-the-Wall-St, NY - (Meltdown Mess): The Vatican's Nazi-gagging stink tank is down to its last divine IOU after a string of dodgy investment tips from a top Opus Dei stooge. "We're not exactly calling him God's Banker Mk#2," NYC editor of LA Fa...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Wants Women Who've Had Abortions Jailed for Life

Sarah Palin Wants Women Who've Had Abortions Jailed for Life

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Sarah Palin says she wants women who have had abortions to be jailed for life, in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire. Palin says she reflects a new attitude toward women by America's religious right and the Republica...
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Funny story: Brown to meet Cabinet in the sand

Brown to meet Cabinet in the sand

Following last week's cabinet meeting in Birmingham - the first to be held outside of London in almost 90 years - Prime Minister Gordon Brown is to follow this innovation with a second get together of his top ministers to be held on Southport beach.
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Funny story: Georgia Under Attack

Georgia Under Attack

Atlanta Constitution, September 2008: Not since General Sherman marched through the "Peach State" in 1864 have the people of Georgia felt so violated. In this case it wasn't the "Damn Yankees" but our southern brothers of North Carolina who crossed o...
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Funny story: Illicit Sex An Issue With Todd Palin Regarding Possible VP Wife

Illicit Sex An Issue With Todd Palin Regarding Possible VP Wife

"After Sarah's joke, I just have to lipstick up some pigs and take a photo. She'll love it!" Todd Palin, Interview Daily September 15, 2008 By now, Sarah Palin is as much a household word, known instinctively, as well as GE, Hoover, Kenmore, Pepsi, Coke, McDonald's, and scores of others. When we hear Sarah or Palin or the two together, immediately our minds go to the Presidential race. And,...
View 'Illicit Sex An Issue With Todd Palin Regarding Possible VP Wife'
Funny story: Steve Gerrard Demands Pay Rise

Steve Gerrard Demands Pay Rise

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard scored both his side's goals in a 2-1 Champions League win in Marseille last night, and immediately slapped in an enormous pay claim to double his present salary. Already on £100,000-a-week, Gerrard believes his ma...
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Funny story: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof?

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof?

One old guy who gave his Grand Daughter a cuddly young puppy for her birthday was faced with problems when he discovered the new puppy was losing weight. He investigated the pooch's eating habits to find that the daily bowl of milk he placed in...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Has A Dick...Cheney!

Sarah Palin Has A Dick...Cheney!

Republican Party leaders have sought to take the big risk and break up the somnabulist McCain campaign with exciting and inexperienced Sarah Palin. Republican Party advisors told press that once they realized that the nation could be lured by bla...
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Funny story: McCain Invites Obama to Perform Duet in Repub Minstrel Show: Me and My Shadow!

McCain Invites Obama to Perform Duet in Repub Minstrel Show: Me and My Shadow!

John McCain responded with awesome shock this week when Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama turned down his invitation to perform a "Me and My Shadow " song and dance at an upcoming Republican minstrel show. McCain told America that li...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Gave Virgin Birth to All of Her Many Children and Grandchildren!

Sarah Palin Gave Virgin Birth to All of Her Many Children and Grandchildren!

Mary the Mother of God or a Jewish pregnant teen with a great alibi is thought to be the only human to have experienced a virgin birth. Parthenogenesis has been observed in certain frogs but never in a human woman who has given birth five times.
View 'Sarah Palin Gave Virgin Birth to All of Her Many Children and Grandchildren!'
Funny story: Republicant Right Wing Tricks McCain into Appointing Fundie Next President!

Republicant Right Wing Tricks McCain into Appointing Fundie Next President!

Republicant actuarial experts recommended to the VP vetters that their choice had a 90% chance of being one of the few VP's to take the Presidential oath of office in close proximity to a dead US Commander in chief. With that golden Chicken nugg...
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Funny story: Big Ben charged with Benism

Big Ben charged with Benism

The famous clock tower in Westminster, often mistakenly known as Big Ben, which is actually the name of the Bell, has been charged with Benism, it emerged today, as the government feel it could offend Bens. "We are making sure this case is dealt w...
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Funny story: Republicants Plead to the Fringe: "You're our only Hope... Dirty Old Man Baby!"

Republicants Plead to the Fringe: "You're our only Hope... Dirty Old Man Baby!"

As the Fringe rips from Heroes, so too the Republicants have plagiarized Democrat child messiah Obama and the great white female hope Hillary. Republicant campaign commercials have played on popular TV with slogans like: "Save the runner-up beauty qu...
View 'Republicants Plead to the Fringe: "You're our only Hope... Dirty Old Man Baby!"'
Funny story: Michael "Kramer" Richards to wed Rhianna

Michael "Kramer" Richards to wed Rhianna

In an amazing twist of fate Michael "Seinfeld why did it end?" Richards is to wed sultry young soultress Rhianna. Michael best known for his role as Kramer and shoving forks up the asses of those who do not resemble him stated "She is the best thi...
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Funny story: Disgraced Glitter to make record with Judas Iscariot

Disgraced Glitter to make record with Judas Iscariot

The Spoof can exclusively reveal that the Disgraced Pop Paedo Pervert Gary Glitter will be recording in the studio with disgraced dirty disciple Judas Iscariot. Judas "Thirty Pieces" Isacriot An insider who has never met Judas or Gary told th...
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Funny story: Sharia Court to Arbitrate Domestic Violence Case Against Mickey Mouse

Sharia Court to Arbitrate Domestic Violence Case Against Mickey Mouse

London/The Guardian - Despite the declaration from a Saudi Arabian cleric who said that Mickey Mouse was "one of Satan's Soldiers", Minney and Mickey Mouse agreed to submit their counter claims of domestic abuse to the newly recognized UK Sharia Co...
View 'Sharia Court to Arbitrate Domestic Violence Case Against Mickey Mouse'
Funny story: Lehman Brothers' Monopoly Cahoot

Lehman Brothers' Monopoly Cahoot

The financial markets were left reeling following the revelation that the makers of the popular board game Monopoly had been under pinning the Lehman Brothers for many years. Monopoly had been ploughing money into the Lehman Brothers banking firm...
View 'Lehman Brothers' Monopoly Cahoot'
« Aug 2008 September 2008 Oct 2008 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
43
2nd
47
3rd
37
4th
46
5th
32
6th
31
7th
31
8th
50
9th
35
10th
36
11th
32
12th
33
13th
36
14th
40
15th
38
16th
32
17th
62
18th
32
19th
35
20th
24
21st
32
22nd
38
23rd
48
24th
33
25th
48
26th
37
27th
16
28th
27
29th
50
30th
38
 

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